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Secrets of The Outer Rim.

Act II.

The Heart of Darkness.

Chapter XX.

Rise of The Apprentice.


"So, like...how does it feel to be legally dead?" Yevenna asked, I kinda cringed at the bluntness of the question, but, on the other hand, I was grateful that the Mirialan Mandalorian was actually here, was actually making an effort to talk to me about this. I had asked Phanza to give me space once we left Loukhamii, and, to her credit, the Nautolan had respected my boundaries, though...now, I'm not so sure it's what I wanted. I gave up my lightsaber and my Padawan braid because it was the right thing to do, allowing Thonna to complete her mission, but I can't help but think what Ullara would think. She was my master, she was my friend, and, perhaps, had things been different, she could have been more, but...but she's dead. Now, I've given up my braid and my lightsaber, some of my last tangible connections to her, as well as to the Jedi. I know it was the right thing to do, and I know that the Jedi aren't supposed to take possessions so seriously, but they were important, if for nothing else than my connection to my late master. That mattered, to me anyway.

"I don't know Yevenna...I'm glad that Vader and Palpatine aren't going to punish Thonna. I'm also glad that Cenetta, Aela, and all those other separatists aren't going to be killed either, but...it feels like I shouldn't have done all that. Strictly speaking, I didn't have to give up the braid at all, I only did that to make sure that Thonna was absolutely safe." I confided in my friend, giving her some more of the context, explaining what was on the line. If both of us came out alive, the separatists would have to be blamed and punished for the crime, if not, then Thonna would be punished, tortured, and further corrupted. I can see that it pains Thonna to be the Third Sister, I know that there is still light in her, but I can also see that she is vulnerable now. What happens to her and she fails? What happens if Vader and Palpatine decide she needs more torturing, corrupting, and conditioning to be an Inquisitor? I fear that, if that happens...Thonna Ai'sunn may actually be lost forever. That's not to say that she isn't strong, she is, but she is also alone, surrounded by some of the most evil men in the galaxy, and her comrades are already corrupted to the Dark Side. Those would be impossible circumstances for anyone.

"I'm sorry Zaliza, if there was anything I could do, I would do it, you know that, right? Right, well...what about your lightsaber? I know your braid is important to you, it's Jedi stuff, but...your lightsaber was your main weapon. Not to mention that's it's Jedi stuff too. That has to count for something, right?" Yevenna rambled again, but there was a reason behind it, well, multiple reasons I suppose. The first part was about trying to reassure me, albeit mixed with some concerning self-doubt and hopelessness from the Mirialan. The second bit was about asking about my lightsaber, which, as Thonna mentioned, is a combination of both the fact that my old double-bladed lightsaber really was my main weapon - well, other than the Force anyway - and it had Jedi significance too. Obviously so, after all, the iconic image of a robed Jedi Knight with his or her lightsaber is - was - known the galaxy over, a symbol of hope and light even in the darkest and most desolate of circumstances. At least, that's what the Jedi should have been, could have been.

"No, no, you're right. My lightsaber is a big loss too, but, my braid was important. I don't want to sound reckless, but I can replace my lightsaber, it might not be exactly the same, but it will be functional, I can't replace the braid, I can't replace the meaning there. I know I didn't mention it once, but I never took that braid out, it was a symbol of me being Ullara's Padawan, and, now that I've given it away, it feels like I've severed a connection to my master." I explained, trying to convey the importance of such an object to the Mandalorian, but I saw that she still didn't quite understand, so I tried changing tactics "The emblem on your pauldron, the Star Forge, that was given to you by Ceyla, right? Well...imagine if you had to give up that pauldron and all it means. Someone took us hostage and would only accept beskar as payment, whatever scenario it is, imagine you had to give that up. That's how I feel right now."

"I'm sorry Zaliza...I couldn't imagine cutting myself off from my mentor like that. I...I don't know what to - ah, screw it." for once, Yevenna ran out of words and, instead, she just decided to comfort me, trying to get me through this. I appreciated the gesture, even with the feeling of hard armor pressed against these relatively thin robes, but it couldn't just go on like this forever. I couldn't just be comforted and told it's alright over and over and over again. I appreciated everything that Phanza and Yevenna have done for me, but, sooner rather than later, I'm going to need to see results, to see a change, because I can't just keep going on like this. I don't know if that change is a decisive victory against the Empire, a way to pry Thonna out of the grasp of the Inquisitorious, or maybe just, somehow, finding surviving Jedi untouched by the Empire, but I needed something. Something to give me some purpose or clarity in this new galactic order. I couldn't just remain in this tense, melancholic vagueness, caught somewhere between the Jedi and the Sith of Taaszon, in theory resisting the Empire, but, in practice, nothing really happening. This really did need to change.


As we landed on Taaszon, back at Castle Attam, Phanza took me aside to speak with her.

"There is something I need to meet with Grand Duchess Voytana about, but, after that, there is a place I want to take you. Please, take the chance to rest and relax, and after that, we're heading out, just you and I." Phanza explained, the Nautolan evidently having come to some sort of decision. I wasn't sure what exactly that decision was, but we were going somewhere, just the two of us. Lady Attam was also going to meet with Voytana before that, and I didn't know exactly what that was about - perhaps just a debrief about our mission over Loukhamii - but I didn't really care either. I was grateful for the chance to rest, which might seem contradictory to what I just said about needing a real change in my life, but I was tired. I wanted a shift in activity and for something important to happen, but that didn't mean that I couldn't rest in the meantime. Even during the Clone Wars, the most active period of my life, there were lulls, there were little breaks, and, back then, they were much appreciated. The problem. I suppose, isn't inactivity itself, it's too much inactivity.

"Yes, of course." I numbly nodded and agreed, accepting this. I headed off to my room afterwards, feeling my bones ache and the fatigue set in, the combined strain of the Cipher-9 mission, the space station job, and the fights on Loukhamii finally setting in. There were days where I did just as much during the Clone Wars, if not more, so there is an argument that could be made about me being out of practice, but those days were always hard. Dropping and rolling here, trying to dodge but still getting grazed by a blaster bolt there, getting knocked over by explosions - those can a toll on a person, and no amount of practice can change that - so, while I may not be quite as physically fit as I was, I can't see a scenario where I wouldn't be tired after everything that transpired these last few days.

Thus, I finally returned to my room. I still felt a certain amount of guilt over these conditions, thinking that it was wrong for me, as a Jedi, a former Jedi, a surviving Jedi, or whatever it is that I am now, to live in such luxury, but...I have to say, I've gotten used to these conditions. There were times were I got to rest during this extended series of missions, including a period in which I was knocked unconscious, but resting in a moving ship or especially sitting out cold in a destroyed ship lurching through space, did not compare to sleeping in my proper bed. I took off my belt - the garment feeling much lighter without the familiar weight of my lightsaber on it - and started taking off the rest of my clothes as R9 riddled off a series of concerned beeps. The droid, who hadn't seen me since Phanza and I left for Cipher-9 - I didn't visit him when we briefly returned to get the explosives - wanted to know if I was okay and what happened, and, being an observant little droid, he also questioned my lack of lightsaber.

"Hey, hey," I patted my hand on top of his red and purple dome, calming the astromech down "It's okay. Phanza, Yevenna, Ceyla, and I are all fine, I'm just tired. Look, I gave up my lightsaber and my braid to Thonna to keep her safe. I can explain more later, can you just let me rest for now? I only have so much time before Phanza and I have to go out and do something again."

The droid accepted, some slightly disappointed beeps indicating he would prefer to know now, but the droid was willing to acquiesce and give me space. With that, I laid back on my bed, reduced to just my undergarments, and tried to relax. I even managed to catch a bit of a nap, enjoying the slight ambient noises of the room. Outside, a gentle snow was falling, the mountain snow beginning to accumulate at my mountain window, around me, the gentle hum of the disk shaped servant droids signaled them coming and going as they kept Castle Attam spotless, and, in the corner of my room, R9-W3 quietly did some diagnostics. It was a peaceful moment, something which helped me relief some stress and exhaustion from the previous mission, while, simultaneously, the knowledge that Phanza and I would be doing something together kept me focused enough to avoid any dangerous thoughts creeping in. It was an entirely peaceful circumstance, and, that, of course, meant that I soon heard the pattering of metal footsteps. First soft in the distance, but getting louder as they got close, and, all of a sudden, I knew my rest was over. What I wasn't expecting though, was for HK-107 to open my door and enter the room before speaking.

"Exclamation: Greetings meatbag! Lady Attam requests your presence at the summit exit. Recommendation: You should get dressed. Meatbags function poorly in the cold, a product of your primitive evolution. It would be wise to put on a set or protective heavy robes. Meteorological Statement: The weather is cold and precipitating, with all models showing this will continue into the night." I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to cover the fact that I only really had a bra over my torso, but it didn't seem to affect HK in the slightest. The assassin droid riddled off his speech in his odd and condescending mannerisms before turning and leaving, just as abruptly as he came. I sighed and used the door to shut the door behind him before getting up and getting dressed. It was one thing for R9 to see me in this state, he was an ordinary astromech, it was another thing when it was a walking, talking bipedal droid. I know that it's an arbitrary distinction, but, as a more valid point, R9 is also not a droid whose very initials stand for Hunter-Killer.

I found a thicker set of robes, insulated and protective for the weather. Obviously, these robes covered the whole body - which was typical of me, I still haven't worn any of the skimpier outfits Phanza provided me with, though my closet remained stocked with them, and not only that, they seemed to be pressed and washed regularly, even though I haven't been wearing them - and protected against the elements. These robes were predominantly black, with a few sections of purple fabric, mainly serving for color break up. The hood itself was heavy and black, with a thicker purple edge at the front to protect against the wind. Now properly dressed, I headed up to meet Phanza. I took the elevator to the floor that was, helpfully, labeled summit exit, coming out in a new part of the palace. I have explored this place a fair bit by now, though I haven't been to the summit yet, for reasons that will become evident shortly.

"Sorry about sending HK, I know he has...an air for the dramatic, but I had to change once I was out of the meeting." Phanza quickly apologized, the Nautolan herself was dressed in a similar set of robes as me, albeit with two differences. The first difference was simply color, as her robes were almost entirely black, with only a handful of pinstripes to break up the color, and those pinstripes were pink of all colors. It was a new choice for Phanza though, as always, it worked for her...it seems anything she wears works for her. The other difference is that, as usual, Phanza had her tattooed head-tails resting over her shoulder, though, with it being cold and snowy, she put these covers over them. I understood that they were there to insulate the sensitive features of her biology, but I couldn't help but think that she found these four little black and pink "socks" for her Lekku that just went great with the outfit. In any case, if I was showing any signs of amusement, Phanza didn't react, merely opening the door and letting us both out.

The summit exit revealed to be a very accurate name, as we emerged behind the palace on the mountains over the capital valley. The snow was falling somewhat more heavily now, though, given that the storm was really just starting, the path was still clear. This helped spell out why Phanza didn't just get dressed then get me - it seems that time is of the essence - thus, Phanza and I carried on, moving away from the capital valley, heading somewhere in the mountains of Taaszon. The sound dampening of the palace was revealed to be rather great as the soft sounds of my bedroom a mere twenty minutes earlier were in massive contrast to these howling mountain winds, which served to accelerate the falling snow. I turned back to the valley for a moment, glancing to see that there was still quite a bit of visible green down in the capital city itself - I had a feeling that it would disappear pretty quickly - though, obviously, things would be worse up here in the mountains. Nevertheless, despite the snowstorm breaking out in front of us, Phanza and I pushed on, leading to me asking a much needed question.

"Where are we going anyway?" I asked, raising an arm to help cover my face, blocking out some of wind and snow coming my way. I wasn't quite sure if this was classified as a blizzard quite yet, but it definitely seemed to be getting into that territory as it intensifies - it's definitely stronger now than it was from the view I had in my bedroom - and, while I didn't want to doubt Phanza's judgement, these conditions made me wonder if this mission was strictly necessary. The fact that we were remaining on the planet, and heading out in the wild mountains on top of that, suggested that this wasn't some grand strategic move or anything, so I had to wonder why we were doing it now of all times. Could this not wait until after the storm?

"There is an ancient forge nearby. When the Sith came to this planet, they built a lightsaber forge up here in the mountains, and, in the cave networks beneath the forge, they reburied ten thousand crystals they gathered in previous Sith Imperial raids on Ilum. The only problem is, a stretch of the path there is steep, and, once Taaszon moves into its winter cycle, it's often impossible to get the forge for months. Strictly speaking, we're already out of the recommended season." Phanza explained, making me see why this was so important now. I had mentioned building a new lightsaber in passing, but I hadn't really thought about doing it, certainly not immediately, yet, here I am, circumstances forcing my hand. It seems to have forced Phanza's hand as well, as the Nautolan doesn't seem particularly thrilled about this mission either, but the problem is...neither of us had planned on my losing my lightsaber like this. Part of me wanted to suggest bringing the Ultimate instead and just landing near the forge, but...jagged mountains, snow storms, and relatively large craft don't mix all that well.

"Right...I take it this is the steep bit?" I asked, as we rounded a corner in the mountain pass to reveal a steep, semi-curved narrow passage further up the mountain. Really, it was only traversable because of the stairs cut into it, and, once too much snow falls onto it...you'd have more luck trying to slide down than come up. I could certainly see why Phanza decided it was now or never...honestly, it might be fairly treacherous coming down once it gets darker and a bit more snow accumulates. For now though, it was fine - just a bit exhausting, but that was kinda unavoidable with a steep staircase in the middle of the mountains where the air is thin - and, as I finally reached the top, I looked up to the sky. White-gray clouds were over the planet, but, despite that, I feel like I could still almost pinpoint the thin disk of the rings of Taaszon in the sky, leaving an impression even through this raging snow shower.

The next phase of the journey was relatively easy, though it was getting colder as we headed deeper into the mountains, and the path still angled upwards. Turning back, I could still see that the top of Castle Attam was towering over us, but we were getting closer and closer to that level of height, which made one thing clear - while Castle Attam was perched on the highest point above the valley, it was not the highest point in the mountains overall - while, beyond that, the Citadel itself was still impossibly tall - I would say that it's safe to assume the top of the citadel is the highest point on Taaszon, man-made or otherwise. Phanza and I continued on this path until, finally, we reached the top of a particular mountain, now some distance away from the valley. The Nautolan and I lined up next to each other at the top, stopping for a moment, and seeing the Forge itself in front of us. The ancient structure, meant for building lightsaber, sat on top of a rounded mountain, surrounded by a corona of peaks sheltering it. This path, along with a number of other mountain paths, descended down into a depression around the Forge's hill, and, in this depression, the entrances to the caves revealed themselves.

"I don't know what you'll see down there or what you'll decide to built, but, whatever it is, this should be sufficient." Phanza told me, her breath showing in the mountain air, as she handed me a block of durasteel, an emitter, and a transparent purple disk of glass - presumably to use as a focusing crystal - everything I would need to build a lightsaber of my own. All that I needed now was the crystal itself, and that was mine to find. I accepted the materials and was about to head down when Phanza stopped me "You should know by now that such caves are strong with the Force, imbued with the energy of the crystals and the lingering energies of those who have been here before. Be careful."

"I know, I will." I thanked Phanza for her advice and proceeded down, remembering my experiences on Ilum. I went in with a group of fellow younglings, as was tradition, but, as was also tradition, we became lost and separated on the journey. Each one of us was tasked with finding a crystal of our own, and each one of us had to face challenges and trials in the process. I remember being unable to find a crystal that connected with me. Looking back on it, I'm sure I passed a thousand blue and green crystals, but none of them called out to me in the Force, and, on Ilum, a planet where the Force is so strong, the wrong crystal might as well be invisible. Thus, I found myself going deeper and deeper, getting lost in the darkness of the cave, becoming increasingly overwhelmed by the coldness, and becoming completely disconnected from my group. I almost thought that I was going to die down there, cold and alone, but then, through the darkness, I saw a purple light. I found the a large purple crystal lighting the cave, and it saved me. The machinations of the Force revealed themselves because, once I had the crystal, it turned out that I was never really lost at all, nor was I really that deep in the caves. It felt like it took hours to get where my crystal was, but then...turning around and coming back out took only ten minutes. Such is the way of Ilum.

These crystals here on Taaszon, being stolen from Ilum on ancient Sith raids, would likely have a similar effect. They may be in a different place, but these crystals were just as strong in the Force, and they have been here for a long, long time. The walls may be dark rock rather than solid ice, but, coming out of the snow and the wind, it still felt somewhat similar to the distant ice planet that the Jedi used for our crystals. I also fought that it was interesting that Taaszon had this feature, as I was led to believe that the Sith usually used artificial crystals - and the strange black core of Phanza's crystal made me believe that it too was artificial - but perhaps that was not always true, or perhaps this was merely a reserve for the Sith in case their crystal foundries failed. I wasn't sure, but, whatever the reason was, I was grateful to have an experience as close to Ilum as possible in which to find my new crystal, thus, I headed deeper into the cave.

The interesting thing is, even after I was well out of natural light, the cave never turned pitch black, always lit by something, even when there was clearly, logically no light source. Perhaps this was another machination of the Force, or perhaps this was a subtle left over of the Ilum crystals lining this cave - the wrong ones were still invisible to me, even if they weren't on Ilum anymore - meaning that I would have to hunt for the one that was really mine. Thus, I continued deeper into the cave, eventually coming to a crossroads, and stopping for a moment to make a decision. One of the two paths continued relatively straight, though angled a bit upwards, perhaps closer to the Forge, the other path, meanwhile, curved to the left and down, somewhere deeper into the cave. I thought about what I should do, moving up and hopefully finding my crystal while emerging out into the light of the outside by the Force, or heading deeper into the dark and unknown cave. I decided to head straight, hoping that I could take the easy way for once, but, of course, it couldn't.

The moment I took a step toward the upper path, the rocky, dusty cave ground was revealed to somehow be incredibly slippery, thus, I slipped and fell towards the bottom path, tumbling down. I scrambled to my feet, making sure the sash of lightsaber materials was fine, before continuing down the lower path, deciding not to tempt faith again. The ground down here was normal again, not slippery, further confirming my suspicions that this was intervention by the Force, fate pushing me down this path. So much for Phanza's theories about the Force being a benign and controllable force. Thus, I followed the curve, seeing that it didn't just curve left, rather, it continued down and came all the way around, taking me to an open chamber directly below the crossroads where I had just been. I checked for alternative paths out of here, yet all my options seemed to be buried in the shadows, engulfed in darkness. The strange and ambient lighting of this cave, meanwhile, was centered on the very middle of this chamber. Taking the hint, I sat down in the illuminated spot, reaching out in the Force and meditating.

"Hello Zaliza...it's been a long time." I opened my eyes and turned to see a glowing, semi-transparent Ullara standing there, the Mirialan appearing in front of me. I must have been standing there like an idiot, mouth agape, because the vision of my master spoke again "I must apologize, after my sacrifice, I became one with the Force. I've been able to watch you, to see you alive and well, and to see you fighting for what you believe in, but I haven't been able to contact you. Even here, a cave imbued with the Force, I cannot sustain my presence here for long. I am so, so sorry for that. It hurts me to see your pain, it hurts me to see you having to struggle in the galaxy without a master, and it hurts me to see what's happened to Thonna as well."

"Master...I...I can't believe this." I cried, barely able to contain myself or heed her words. I wanted to hug her, to wrap my arms around her, to feel my master again, but I knew that this was just a vision, she had no physical form, and no way of really interacting with me, beyond simply words. There may be ways to prolong your lifespan through the Force or to siphon the power of spirits, but both of those are forbidden tactics, tools of the Dark Side, and, even without that taboo, I couldn't imagine Ullara doing any of that. Master Avdune wouldn't fight fate like that, and she especially wouldn't leech off of others to stay alive, thus, these ways to cheat death or tap into the power of spirits means nothing to us right now. Ullara isn't going to come back, she isn't going to be rendered solid in any way, but, at very least, she is here now, and perhaps I can get some closure out of this.

"It's okay, my Padawan, you can cry. I miss you too. I wish things could have been different, but I'm just grateful that you're alive, and that you're safe. That is all I want, I don't want you to worry about honoring my sacrifice or holding on to your attachment to me. You being alive is enough, believe me." Ullara replied, reassuring me, telling me to stop worrying about rebuilding the Jedi or keeping mementos of our time together. That is not to say that Ullara wants me to abandon hopes of rebuilding the Jedi - in fact, I think she would want me to do that - but, she would want me to do that for the right reasons. Ullara doesn't want me to rebuild the Jedi just because of her, if I am going to rebuild them, she wants me to do it because I believe in it and I want to do it. In practice, this doesn't really change anything, as I haven't made progress towards rebuilding the Jedi either way, but, to me, it still served as a massive relief. I feel like, finally hearing this from Ullara, or at least her spirit, lifted this great burden off of my shoulders, for real this time.

"Am I really safe though?" I'm not sure why exactly I asked that, whether I was simply looking for validation from my former master, or if I was hoping that her being one with the Force could provide me with some sort of omniscient answer. Regardless of why exactly I asked that question, I could absolutely see Ullara's expression shift, the Mirialan thinking before she spoke. It was, admittedly, a loaded question. The fact is, Ullara has been watching me since she sacrificed herself, watching my actions, and she knows that I've become very close to Phanza Attam, therefore, I'm not sure if Master Avdune wants to take that away from me. I don't think Ullara likes Phanza, but I think that, more than that, she believes that me being with Phanza makes me a lot more happy and stable than I otherwise would be, so Ullara can't speak against this either. I'm sure Ullara was struggling with this question as well, but she finally gave me an answer.

"Look..I won't pretend that I fully trust Phanza, not the way that you do anyway. I am concerned that she is manipulative, that she is amplifying your less virtuous tendencies, and that she presents a particular version of herself to you, but, at the same time, I believe that she genuinely cares for you. I could argue that she cares about you because of her own self-interests, trying to shape you into a potential apprentice, but, the point remains, she does care for you and she is keeping you safe. I will also say that, in her tender moments with you, in the times that she has listened to your subtle attempts to soften her darker tendencies, and in the way she houses you and takes care of you, I see more depth and more humanity than I perhaps expected from her. In short, yes, I believe you're safe with Phanza." Ullara explained, my former Master clearly had plenty to say about Lady Attam, but the end result was, fundamentally, positive. Ullara seemed to currently be going through the same period of uncertainty and mistrust with Phanza that I went through earlier. I was worried about some of the things that the Sith Lord did before, but I came around, and, maybe, one day, Ullara's spirit will come around too.

"Okay, okay, thank you. I appreciate your judgement, Master." I thanked her, grateful that I have spoken to her about this, and just as grateful that it seems like I now have Ullara's blessing for this. I feel like I can be with Phanza, that I can follow her, and that I can fight alongside her, without the lingering worries that I'm doing the wrong thing. I feel that, now, I can finally fully and completely trust Phanza. That was an incredible relief, but there was one last bit of awkward tension between Ullara and I, one more thing I needed before I could really get closure. I took a deep breath for courage before asking "Thank you for everything, Master Avdune, but I must admit I have one more question. The kiss...what was that?"

"Right..." Ullara sighed, the spirit took this issue heavily. I took another deep breath, if Ullara was bracing herself for this explanation, then I should too. Finally, she began "I'm sorry about that Zaliza, I shouldn't have done that. I apologize for that, I was attracted to you, I knew that I was going to die, and I wanted to act on it before...before what happened to me. I suppose that, in the adrenaline with the clones chasing us, I didn't take the time to consider that you would be left alive with the confusion and the feelings while I would be gone. It was stupid and selfish of me, and I sincerely apologize for that. I also apologize for how these feelings manifested, it seems that all my relationships with women were terribly mishandled. I don't mean to excuse myself, but...you know as well as I do that growing up as a Jedi makes it difficult to approach such matters of attraction or emotional attachment."

"You shouldn't be sorry for it Ullara. I...I liked it, I just wanted to know why. Thank you for telling me." I responded, I watched my master's face turn into an awkward smile, Master Avdune didn't quite know how to respond to that, and I didn't really blame her either. I responded with a smile of my own, matching her expression, enjoying the fact that I could at least see my master again. I'm sure the feeling is mutual as well, after all, Ullara has made it clear that she's grateful simply for me believing alive and being here. I don't know if Ullara and I could have been together like that in a different life, after all, there is the age gap, and there's also the fact that we only came to know each other because of the Jedi, but...it's nice to know that, if nothing else, there really was something behind that kiss. It wasn't just a distraction, it wasn't just a spur of the moment thing, it was a indicative of an attraction. An attraction the Jedi would have denied, but, standing here, facing Ullara's spirit, I think they were very wrong. Attraction, love, emotions are healthy, even now, just communicating this, just hearing human gratefulness and affection from Ullara, relieved me much, much more than the pressure of living up to her as a Jedi Master and the standards of the order.

"Thank you for letting me talk to you one last time Zaliza. I'm so happy about this, but...I can't stay here much longer. Just...just remember that I'm watching you and supporting you, even if I can't reach out to you." Ullara explained, even as her shimmering form began shimmering away, flickering and growing unstable. I tried speaking but, when words failed me, I simply nodded, letting the tears stream down my face. I watched Ullara's form disappear, the conversation between us was short, but it answered some much needed questions, and it offered me some kind of closure. I waited for Ullara to fully fade away before blinking my eyes and wiping away my tears and, once I reopened my eyes, I found that I had been sitting there, kneeling in meditation all along. The Force truly does work in mysterious ways, and, as if I needed more confirmation of that, the shadows covering the chamber dissipated to reveal another path further into the cave. I sat there, wondering how much of that conversation was real, before getting up and following the path, trying to find my new crystal.

As I walked, I decided to assume that the conversation was real, only that it happened across the Force and I imagined my own actions, as well as Ullara actually appearing as a Force Ghost, but, either way, I believed that she really was watching me and hoping for me to succeed. I also was very relieved that Ullara excused me of her expectations, just telling me to live and do what I thought was right, that was enough for her, and that was all that she was going to ask of me. The Mirialan also seemed to have been reconsidering a lot of her opinions on the Jedi, likely having to go through quite a bit of thinking and reconciliation once she found out about Palpatine and the fall of the Order. The same kind of thinking that I was going through since Order 66. I'm not sure how we could have caught Palpatine's deception or learned about the clones, but the point remains, the state of the Jedi certainly didn't help matters. We had lost sight of our purpose and the people of the galaxy saw it too, suddenly, we weren't the mysterious defenders of peace and justice, the arbiters of treaties, and wise order of trained monks, rather, we were warriors in a war that was bleeding the whole galaxy dry. The Jedi Temple bombing fiasco didn't help matters either.

A trial broadcast across the galaxy, a trial where the wrong Padawan was just about convicted of a crime she didn't commit, and a trial where the real bomber, Barriss Offee, delivered an incendiary speech, damning the Jedi and this war. The worst part is that the Mirialan Padawan was absolutely right - her methods were extreme and violent, but the point remains, her reasoning was just - we've done horrible things in this war and we excused ourselves because most of our victims were battle droids or that we were fighting for the Republic. Nevermind the fact that these Jedi would then turn around and form working relations or even friendships with various astromechs, protocol droids, or other such mechanical creatures. Nevermind the fact that the Republic was being ripped away from us piece by piece thanks to Palpatine's machinations. I freely admit that I couldn't imagine him being a Sith Lord, but I at least found his increasingly absolute power over the Republic alarming, and didn't take his gentle old man persona at face value either.

The point is, in our detached hubris, and our increasingly belligerent nature, we not only stood by and allowed Palpatine's plan to go on, but we fought in the Clone Wars and actually played into his hands. Ullara, left a spirit in the Force, a casualty of Palpatine's conspiracy, has been able to realize that, and she's been questioning a lot of the dogma ever since. So was I. How couldn't I? Being so emotionally detached, avoiding attachment, and following the Council was supposed to keep the Jedi safe from darkness, but what good did it do us? Our Order fell to darkness and then was easily swept aside by the Sith, meaning that our way was clearly not working. That, then, left the question: what was the correct path? I couldn't be sure, but I was starting to think that moderation was the answer, maybe something between what the Jedi are now and Phanza's philosophy. I didn't want to have a complete nihilistic rejection of the Force like Phanza did, but I also didn't think that we should view the Force as a strictly binary division of Light and Dark, nor did I believe fate was unchangeable.

I got sidetracked in my own head, again, but, fortunately, I did seem to have made some progress moving through the cave. I wondered how much longer it was going to take to find my crystal, after all, being confronted with Ullara's spirit was already a massive encounter...surely the Force was done with me at this point. Perhaps, between stating that fate was unchangeable and then wondering what else the Force had in store for me, I brought what happened next upon myself. I rounded a corner to find my crystal, a glowing purple gem embedded into a much larger rock. The only problem was that the crystal was across this large cavern, and the bridge connecting this cave with that rock had fallen into the deep abyss below. It was going to be difficult to cross the cavern. The problem is that, while the cavern is wide and almost endlessly deep, the ceiling is relatively low, meaning that trying to jump across the gap could be dangerous, as my vertical movement was restricted. Nor could I lift the shattered bits of bridge as they were way, way deeper than I could possibly sense them, that left me with trying a more direct solution. Standing on this side of the cavern, I rose my hand and tried to pull the crystal to me with the Force.

Naturally, this trial in the Force couldn't be that easy, as the crystal didn't budge, stuck where it was. This was clearly my crystal, glowing vibrant in the other dark and dreary cave, and appearing as a similar color to my old lightsaber no less. It was perhaps a bit darker, but it was still a purple crystal, still reminiscent of the rare color I had found for myself in the caves of Ilum, and, out of either coincidence or an unlikely sign of fate, purple was also one of the principle colors of the Grand Duchy of Taaszon. Pulling the crystal out clearly wasn't working, so I decided to try something else, maybe I would have an easier time pulling it to me if I was able to dislodge it by Force, loosening up the rock formation. It was perhaps a bit crass and barbaric, but I found a loose bit of rubble, perhaps a small stone left over from the bridge, and, using my powers, I propelled it into the rock formation at full power, hoping to free the crystal. The rock made impact and, I regretted it for a moment as the cave shook, however, as the shaking died down, the rock formation was revealed to still be entirely solid, the crystal just as deeply embedded. The implication was obvious, I wasn't going to get this crystal through brute force.

Realizing that we were on a Sith planet and these caves were often traveled by Dark Side users, I thought that maybe the Dark Side was the key. I figured that, worst case scenario, at least I wouldn't shake the cave again. Therefore, summoning purple Force lightning to my fingertips, I unleashed it upon the rock, hoping that the power behind it would have an effect. I watched as the blast burned off some dust and even loosened a few layers of rock away, but, as I once again tried to pull at the crystal, it still didn't budge. Panting, the strain of using the Force bringing back my earlier fatigue, I figured that this wasn't going to work either. By the time I unleashed enough Force Lightning to actually loosen the crystal, I would be completely and utterly exhausted. I sat down and thought, both to recover a little bit, and to figure out a new strategy for this. I tried to think back to my teachings, trying to remember if Ullara or the Masters or anyone else ever told me something useful, something that could help me in these circumstances.

"Size matters not, young one." I remembered the old adage from Master Yoda, one he always gave while teaching the younglings. With this memory to help me out, I looked over at the rock formation, and realized something very, very strange about this. On closer inspection, the rock formation - and thus the crystal embedded in it -wasn't attached to the cave wall behind it. It would take a lot of concentrated effort to destroy the rock, but, with focus and one single burst of power, I could bring that whole rock formation over here and then find a way to take the crystal out. I've moved things with the Force and I've even seen Phanza levitate herself while arming bombs on the space station, so I could do this. I backed up to give room for the rock formation, and then I thought of Ullara again, knowing that my former Master was there, supporting me, and helping me through this. With that, I took a deep breath and pulled the entire rock formation across the cavern, seeing the rock move away from the cave wall with ease, and then landing the whole thing in front of me. I couldn't help but smirk: size matters not.

Now up close, I was able to do a few things. First of all, I was able to notice that the crystal really wasn't darker than the one I had previously, rather, the reason it appeared that way is that this purple crystal has a black core, just like Phanza's lightsaber. The second thing I was able to do was remove part of the crystal for my use - the whole thing was unnecessarily large so I didn't need all of it - I did, however, take the opportunity to take four shards. I would refine these shards into proper color crystals, and I took four shards for a very particular reason. Two color crystals were used in the construction of the average lightsaber, to form the blade, and thus, four were needed for a double-bladed lightsaber. I think that, at least initially, it would be more pragmatic to build a single-bladed weapon, but, I wanted to be able to build a double-bladed weapon in the future if I wanted to return to a saberstaff again.

I used the Force to return the rock to its original position before turning around and heading out of the cave. As further proof that the Force has twisted my perception of this cave for its own purposes, it only took two bends and a slight incline to exit the northern entrance of the cave and emerge near the force. This time, the incline actually was slippery because the snow was falling into the cave, the whole hill around the forge was by now coated in a blanket of white. I emerged from the cave, the clouds now reduced to a gray as Taaszon entered its sunset, and walked to the cave, leaving a trail of footsteps in my path. A path which eventually climbed the steps and entered the Forge, finding something rather different from the conditions in which Jedi forged their blades. Rather than shaping and wielding the materials together with tools, this forge required only specifications and materials. I would say what I wanted and provide the materials, then the forge would shape a mold. At that point, it was a matter of using my abilities in the Force, the heat of the forge, and my endurance to bear these conditions.

I entered my plans into the archaic forge computer and inserted the durasteel block into the forge once it was ready. At that point, I used the Force to tap into the metal, guiding the molecules into the molds, letting the pieces settle and form piece by piece. All the while, the heat of the forge came over my body from the front while the cold, howling mountain air breezed in from behind me, the two contrasts almost forming an equilibrium of sorts, helping me bear the heat while also protecting me from the winds, as I was completely exposed to the wind and snow coming in behind me. The Forge sheltered my front to an extent, but the wind could come in from behind. The last bits of durasteel finally melted and found their place within the mold, allowing me to turn off the forge and remove the large black mold with the Force, separating the two halves and finding the pieces of my new lightsaber within.

The cool mountain air worked to help cool the metal while I set about refining the crystals, now inserting the four shards into the forge. The crystals needed to be heated up to soften then, making them malleable and able to be shaven down. Thus, in these conditions, the hardest parts began. I had to grab the heavy, metal forge tools, and use them to shave down the shards into proper color crystals. This was necessary to be able to handle the crystals in the heat of the forge, but, it also required using a pair of gigantic, weighty metal tools to perform an incredibly precise task. I took a deep breath and got to work, shaping the crystals, reducing them in size but making them sharper and more refined in shape. I was, however, careful not to crack the crystals, as an unstable crystal was not only unsafe and unpredictable, but would produce an unstable, pulsating blade. I finished one, then the other, shaved down the third, and took a deep as I started on the fourth, running the rough metal edge down the side of the crystal to refine the shape. One surface, then the next, all the way down and all the way around, finishing the crystal. I put the tools down and got to work, removing the crystals from the Forge.

I couldn't use tools for this part, as the heated crystals could be smushed, thus, I used the Force instead, pulling them out and letting them cool. The four crystals and the pieces of my lightsaber cooled down as I sat and meditated again, strengthening my connection to the lightsaber. My energy in the Force was connecting to the molecules within the metal, to the Force presence within the crystals, and the focusing crystal Phanza provided for me, ensuring that everything would be connecting to me by the time that it cooled down. Eventually, it was ready, so I put away the two extra crystals before getting to work on connecting these pieces and bringing my new lightsaber together. I levitated the color crystals and the focusing crystal, the very basis of the lightsaber, and then, I built the internal skeleton around it, the functional part of the lightsaber. It was a thin, almost bony mechanical skeleton, and then I got to work on the rest of my idea. Around this basic frame, I built a simple black and silver tube - something that was meant to be both functional and hide in plain sight, a design that was not obviously a lightsaber - and a frame to connect it to the skeleton. Finally, using the Force, I brought everything together and fitted it, creating my new weapon.

The pieces settled into place and my lightsaber was formed, a black cylinder marked with silver vertical stripes and a matching silver button. I ignited the lightsaber, seeing the purple and black blade emerge from the emitter, and I raised the blade to the sky, feeling the Force and the energy flowing through me, and I felt like, even though it was just a standard blade, I could slice the snowstorm in half with it. I looked over and saw Phanza watching me, the red-skinned Nautolan still waiting where she left me, and I quickly headed back to her. I went into the cave and slipped back out, my experience much simpler than the way in, heading down down, winding up in the chamber where I saw Ullara, and taking the path back up to the main part of the cave. I headed through this part of the cave and walked out, emerging back in the snow in the little moat surrounding the hill. I climbed out and met with Phanza.

"I saw your blade. Good work, but we should head back to the Castle now. The snow is getting worse, it's getting darker, and I have a few things to do tomorrow." Phanza replied, not trying to be rude, but making it clear that we had no reason to loiter out here, especially with snow continuing to fall and accumulate on the path, thus, we started moving. We made our way down the mountain paths but, as we moved, I thought about what Phanza said and realized that I didn't know what she was doing tomorrow. I didn't think that it was a mission against the Empire, after all, we've just gotten by from Loukhamii and Phanza has clearly not had time to plan, however, on the other hand, she did meet with Voytana just before this trip. Perhaps the Grand Duchess gave Phanza a mission and now Lady Attam needs to spend th next days making preparations and shaping a plan of attack. It was an interesting theory, but I decided to ask anyway, figuring that the worst thing that could happen is Phanza deciding not to tell me this.

"What's going on tomorrow?" I asked.

"Look...please don't take this the wrong way." Phanza began, slowing down as she told me this, but kept moving. I gulped, this was not a good start to a story, not a good start to any story really "The way things are going with the Empire, more fighting and more more intensity, it's clear that we need more support on these missions, and a different face could prove useful as well. A Nautolan and a Zeltron showing up over and over again as the Empire gets hurt is going to draw attention sooner rather than later. To that end...I think that it would be beneficial if I took on an apprentice. Voytana not only gave me permission to do so, but she has fully agreed to it, believing that this is a good idea. I am journeying to the moon of Exavellos to assign trials to the next class of acolytes."

"Oh." I replied dumbly, not sure what to say. I felt that it was logical, and I did agree that another face could be incredibly useful, because I'm sure Vader was already suspicious about the pair of red-skinned faces he encountered on Nar Shaddaa, so somebody new could help conceal our movements. That being said, I couldn't help but feel hurt by the idea that Phanza was taking an apprentice. I didn't know why I was hurt, after all, she was a Sith Lord and it was only a matter of time before she took her own apprentice, but it still felt wrong. It was the right thing to do, but...well, I voiced my complicated feelings on the matter to Phanza "Well...it seems like a good idea strategically, but...I kinda thought that place was reserved for me, if I wanted it."

"I know that Zaliza, I know, but we're edging closer and closer to a state of war with the Empire and another Force user could be crucial in the next few phases of our resistance. Besides...if you want to train under me, I could always took on a second apprentice." Phanza replied, reassuring me, and letting me know that, in the Sith tradition, there is apparently no rule against taking multiple apprentices at once. This is in contrast to the Jedi, where a Jedi Master can only have one Padawan at any given time, and it is not unheard of for a Master to only have one Padawan ever, this is not the case here. That did seem to relieve me a bit more, though that didn't make the situation make any more sense...one thing I will say about the Jedi, shutting out the emotions does make everything simple, if nothing else. In any case, after this, we largely returned to Castle Attam in silence.


"Lady Attam, a pleasure to see you again, and...ah, I see you have brought a companion with you. My name is Overseer Nesorin, I have served as the Master of Trials for the Exavellos Academy for the last two-hundred thirty-eight years. I was honored again recently, trusted by Lady Attam to help her find her apprentice." Phanza and I walked down the ramp of the Ultimate only to be immediately greeted by a Pau'an male, his tall and lanky form moving fluidly as he bowed before Lady Attam and I. I was surprised to see him, both for his exotic species and his advanced age, I mean, based on what he said about serving at the Academy, he had to be well-over 250 years old, and, considering he's held a place of honor at the Sith Academy for 238 of those years...I had to imagine it's been far longer. This was clearly an extended lifespan, but I didn't know if that was an effect of his species, the result of Dark Side magics, or a combination of the two, but still...the only person I knew who was older than perhaps 80 was Master Yoda. Sure, he was hundreds of years old but...it's still surprising to meet other beings that are that old in this galaxy. In fact...he may be the oldest living being in the galaxy, especially if Yoda was killed in Order 66.

"Hello Nesorin, and thank you for the welcome. This is a friend of mine, Zaliza Vyvan. I think you know why we are here." Phanza replied, pleasant but businesslike, clearly having a mission on this planet. I, however, was somewhat at a slower pace, more following Phanza and trying to make the most of this situation. In that respect, I decided to observe Exavellos, one of the larger satellites of Taaszon, and on with a brilliant view of the rings. The planet had an atmosphere, but, despite that, you could still see Taaszon filling the sky, and, thanks to Exavellos being a far flung moon, you could see the turbulent rings and their unique, red electrical storms. Speaking of Taaszon, you could see the snow filling its northern hemisphere, and, in contrast to the winter setting in on the planet, this moon was bright and warm - ironically, part of the brightness came from Taaszon's star reflecting off the ice orbiting nearby - and that light shined down on the ruins and ancient temples dotting the hilly, green, and rocky surface of the planet. The largest of these temples, an impressive structure with a central section lifted by pillars and two wings, formed the Sith Academy itself, and it seemed that would be our main destination.

"Right, follow me." The Pau'an accepted. I noted that he glanced between Phanza and I, perhaps wondering why Phanza needed an apprentice when she was already traveling with me - smart man - but Nesorin didn't openly question Lady Attam - again, smart man - merely leading us to the Academy building. Phanza had already journey to this moon a week ago, the day after I built my new lightsaber, but this was my first time on this world. Today, Nesorin was going to send the finalists out on their last trial, a trial where only one could succeed, and the winner of that trial would become Phanza's new apprentice. Thus, Lady Attam was here to observe the trial and receive her new apprentice, and I was here...I was here because I wanted to meet the person I would be working alongside. This wasn't about petty jealousy or anger, there was no reason for that. Phanza could take two apprentices if she wanted, I wasn't even sure if I wanted to be her apprentice, and, besides all of that, it's not like being an apprentice means anything, it's just a teacher-student dynamic, nothing more.

"The students all had potential through the trials, but, as we placed them through each of the tests you meticulously designed for me, two candidates quickly emerged as the frontrunners for the task." Nesorin continued, now talking to Phanza about the actual trials. I had little doubt that these two frontrunners would be the finalists tested today, the ones who would become Phanza's apprentice. My suspicion was quickly confirmed by the Overseer "The first, a Rattataki named Teltho, he has trained in the Marauder tradition and established himself as a strong and capable warrior. Teltho's strength, however, is not his only strength, as he proved himself sharp and adept in translating the ancient texts who assigned him. He is most definitely a contender."

"Splendid, and the other one?" Phanza asked, the Sith Lord appeared the very definition of elegance. Her hood was down and her head tails were organized in their typical fashion - two over each shoulder and the rest down her back - while her posture remained perfectly straight and her hands were crossed behind her back. The robes she wore today, black and white with a red sash, definitely played into that image as well.

"Yes, the other one is a Chiss girl. Her true name is Schwevaa'aphere'enda, though, for the sake of simplicity, we have taken to referring to her as Schweva. Schweva is an interesting case for a number of reasons, first of all, there is her fighting style. She trained primarily in the Sorcerer path, however, she modified her training with elements of the Marauder and Assassin disciplines as well. I would have thought that this split education and lack of specialization would have seen her weeded out early, though she has succeeded with it thus far. She is intelligent, strong in the Force, and crafty in a fight as well. I am not quite sure how she will match up against Telpho, but it is clear that she is a promising prospect as well."

"What will happen to those acolytes who hadn't become finalists?" I asked, suddenly concerned about the rest of the class, as well as the eventual fate of the loser of this pair.

"Oh, don't worry. While there was once a time where the acolytes who failed in the Academy were disposed of, we have accepted that modifications have had to be made to these trials to deal with our dwindling numbers. Now, the policy is that all who survive the trials will find a place among the ranks of Taaszon. Some take the trials again in hopes of becoming a different Sith's apprentice, some take ancillary roles such as healers or Academy staff, and others find military roles anyway, perhaps as Dark Jedi auxiliaries or even ordinary troops." Nesorin explained. I was relieved to hear that those who survived but failed the Sith Trials weren't just killed in cold blood, and I actually found this similar to a number of programs at the Jedi Temple for less able Force-sensitives. In any case, this seemed to be another example of necessity and pragmatism by the Grand Duchy of Taaszon.

"Excellent. These must be the acolytes." Phanza said as we entered the Academy and found the two aliens waiting for us, the Rattataki male and the Chiss female. One a hulking tattooed ivory behemoth, the other a small but fierce blue-skinned sorceress. Their roles were reflected in their outfits, with Telpho wearing a suit of obsidian black armor, practical and minimalistic, while Schweva wore robes. The robes were black with purple pinstripes, and they had a bare waist and arms, much like several of the robes Phanza wore. I had to admit that made me more jealous, she already dressed like Phanza, and, despite being an acolyte, she carried herself with confidence and pride. It didn't help the fact that, with her blue-skinned and solid red eyes, Schweva not only looked attractive, but a dangerous kind of attractive, exactly the kind of attractive that I fear Phanza may be fascinated with.

"Yes, they are. Telpho and Schweva. They will be tasked with finding the key to the Great Armory of Exavellos. Located in the ruins in the Explorers' Valley, the Armory contains the arsenal of many of the Sith who first arrived on this planet. The one who finds the hidden key in the Valley first and unlocks the armory, shall not only have free reign of the weapons, but shall become Lady Attam's apprentice." Nesorin explained. The neatly assigned trial not only narrowed it down to one candidate, but also armed that candidate, streamlining the process. The Rattataki and the Chiss departed while the three of us waited, knowing that a definitive result would be found sooner rather than later. A few more hours passed before Telpho returned, and I grew excited for a moment. If nothing else, the Rattataki wasn't Schweva, he wasn't dangerous in the way that she was, and, therefore, I wanted him to win.

"Overseer, I apologize, but the key was already gone when I found its altar. I tried to change tactics and ambush Schweva instead, waiting at the armory, but she repelled my attack." Telpho bowed and admitted defeat. As if on cue, Schweva entered just after him, two weapons on her belt, and a large metal key in her hand, proof of her success.

"Your key, my mistress." Schweva bowed and presented the key, with me hating every moment of it.

"Excellent. Arise, my apprentice." Phanza replied, smirking.


Drama inbound!