July 4th 1997
The morning after the wedding was supposed to be relaxing and was supposed to begin with a nice lie-in.
Unfortunately for Jen and Remus, this plan was foiled almost immediately, by a soft tapping at the window.
Jen groaned into the pillow. "If that's Sirius, I'm going to kill him."
"Even Sirius wouldn't stoop this low," Remus said, kissing her cheek as he rolled out of bed. She heard rather than saw him walk to the window to let the owl in. "It's for you."
Jen groaned again and rolled over, her eyes opening for the first time that morning. "Sirius?"
"Ministry," Remus corrected.
Jen frowned and sat up, taking the offered letter. It was sealed with the official Wizengamot seal and was addressed to Lady Guinevere Black, Baroness Blackmoor.
"Assholes," Jen muttered, breaking the seal.
"They don't know we're married," Remus pointed out, a twinge of sadness in his tone. "They can't."
"It's not that," Jen said, sending a wave of love towards her new husband. "They called me Guinevere. Assholes."
Lady Blackmoor
Your presence is hereby requested by the Wizengamot Chamber for an emergency meeting to discuss the return of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. The Chamber will convene at 10am promptly.
The letter was not signed, but that was normal for Wizengamot summons, she remembered from James's.
"Are you going?" Remus said, reading over her shoulder.
"No," Jen said. "It's our honeymoon." She caught his eye and a wave of emotion and sighed. "You're going to be irritatingly reasonable about this, aren't you?"
"We do need the connections," Remus pointed out. "Not to mention that I would feel better if one of us was there."
Jen pulled a face. Technically, as the Head of a Noble House, Addie should get a summons as well – that is, if she had officially claimed her seat, which Jen was not certain she had.
In any case, Addie was certainly not in any fit state to deal with that kind of situation right now, not without Sirius by her side at any rate.
"I hate it when you're right," Jen muttered, getting out of bed and checking the time. It was 8 o'clock now. "I'd better get ready and get there early, so I can mingle." She pulled a face on the last word.
"All part of the job, love," Remus said with a smile.
Jen's retort was not verbal but he heard it loud and clear.
Clad in her red Wizengamot robes, Jen stepped out of the fireplace at the Ministry and strode over to the golden lifts. As a member of the Wizengamot, she was no longer officially a 'visitor' to the Ministry, even if she didn't work there anymore, so she no longer needed to present her wand for inspection.
People mulled around her as she waited, one or two greeting her with a smile. Someone jostled into her and a voice murmured: "You lost, Mrs Lupin?"
Jen glanced sideways at Mandy, who grinned at her unrepentantly.
"Shouldn't you be at home in bed or something?" She continued, before Jen could say anything.
Jen coughed back a laugh. "No. Wizengamot meeting at 10am. Someone's got to do it."
"Fair enough," Mandy said with a smile. "Be prepared though; this lift is probably going up before it goes down."
Jen shrugged. "It's fine; I'm early."
"The Chamber's not due to assemble again until August, isn't it?" Mandy asked.
"Emergency meeting," Jen answered. "Presumably about the Department of Mysteries."
"Ah," Mandy said with a nod. "Say no more."
The golden grills slid open and the two women stepped into the lift together.
Sure enough, the lift started to rise, stopping first at Level 7 for the Department of Magical Games and Sports.
Mandy stepped out with a wave and Jen shifted to one side to let a few more people on.
On Level 6, Percy Weasley stepped on, from the Department of Magical Transportation, and the lift doors had closed before he realised who he was standing next to. When he did realise, he turned bright red, mumbling a hello and a congratulations.
Jen smiled to herself. His letter had certainly been far more poised and put-together. "Good morning, Percy. How are you today?"
"Very well thank you, Lady Black," Percy managed to say, his blush receding a little. He was clutching the reports in his hands like a lifeline. "Are you here for the meeting?"
"I am," Jen said. "Will you be acting as scribe?"
"Well … Minister Fudge hasn't asked it of me," Percy said.
"Well, you are still Junior Assistant to the Minister of Magic, are you not?" Jen asked.
Percy seemed to straighten a little. "Yes, ma'am, I am."
"Then you seem the most obvious candidate," Jen said, shuffling over again to allow a few more people on.
Percy's ears went pink again, which Jen kindly didn't mention.
Once the doors had closed on Level Two, she said, "You recall the conversation we had in the Leaky Cauldron last September?"
Percy sighed. "Yes, I do."
Jen gave him a comforting smile. "It holds true, you know. They'd be happy to see you."
Percy didn't answer immediately. When the doors opened on Level 1, he said, "I'll think about it," and disappeared down the corridor.
Jen shook her head with a sigh and pressed the '9' button again. Not that it really mattered – the lift would call at all floors in order, whether the button had been pressed or not.
Finally – after seven more stops, the doors finally opened on Level 9. Jen stepped out alone and strode along the corridor, her footsteps echoing off the bare stone walls.
She took a sharp left before the Department of Mysteries, down the steps towards the courtrooms.
The very last door led to the Wizengamot antechamber; the Wizengamot Chamber beyond was almost identical to the other courtrooms except for the family crests that adorned the walls.
However, today, that door was closed; it was the door to Courtroom Ten that was wide open and it was from there that voices bubbled out.
"Morning Jen," A voice called behind her.
Jen turned to smile at Augusta and Amelia. "Great minds think alike. Sorry; I should have waited for you."
Like Jen, Amelia and Augusta were proxy members of the Wizengamot; unlike Jen, they were acting in proxy on behalf of heirs too young to take their own oaths.
Augusta waved her off. "Nonsense dear, we just got here … Courtroom?"
"Just what I was thinking," Jen said with a frown. "I take it this is not just a general gathering about Ministry security?"
"Unfortunately not," Amelia said with a sigh. "It's trials."
"Dammit," Jen muttered. "If I'd known that, I'd have stayed home."
Amelia chuckled. "Most people would; that's why they don't tell us. I only know because I have to preside."
"Oh, you're presiding this time?" Jen asked with mock-innocence. "I thought that was the Minister's job now."
"Cornelius has been oddly quiet since the … incident," Amelia said. "Not that I'm complaining."
"No one would complain about that, dear," Augusta said as they stepped in to the courtroom.
The next half an hour or so was taken up by a flurry of activity, while the three women – Jen, in particular – greeted old friends and renewed old alliances.
Jen – obviously – hadn't been in the Wizengamot before the war. Her father (may he rot in Hell) had been Lord Black then, then Regulus, and then Sirius – although that was after her disappearance, and she was certain he never took up any of his duties – rightly or wrongly.
Maybe if he had, it would have been harder for Crouch to skip a trial.
However, she had attended enough Ministry parties and gatherings thrown by friends – including the Potters – that she already knew a good number of the members before she went to her first proper meeting the previous winter.
Not that she was renewing any of her parents' old alliances.
Eventually Dumbledore arrived, and the members drifted apart to take their seats. Unlike the rest of the chamber, Jen took the stairs to the left of the tiered podiums where Amelia (as Head of the DMLE), Fudge (as Minister) and Dumbledore (as Chief Wizard) would sit in ascending order. Just above Dumbledore's podium, there was another row of seats. Once, they had run the full length of the chamber; now there were only six, three to the left of the podiums and three to the right.
Jen sat down in the seat on the far left.
In the Wizengamot chamber, practically identical to this one, the Black Family crest would be on the wall behind her.
The other seats – the only remaining Ancient and Noble bloodlines – remained dormant until an heir was found or of age: Ravenclaw and Slytherin beside her (and wasn't that going to cause a stir when Hermione took her seat) and Potter, Hufflepuff and Gryffindor directly opposite.
Fudge finally appeared, with Percy just behind him carrying a quill and a stack of parchment. He glanced up, caught her eye, and busied himself with the scribe's desk. Fudge took his seat with uncharacteristic silence and Dumbledore banged his gavel.
"I hereby call to order this emergency gathering of the Wizengamot Council. Madam Bones, you have the floor."
Amelia rose to her feet, amid the quiet murmur that ran through the room, the few members that didn't already know finally realising the reason for the meeting.
"My Lords and Ladies," Amelia began, "it gives me great pleasure to announce that, following the attack on the Department of Mysteries, Rodolphus Lestrange, Rabastan Lestrange, Antonin Dolohov, Augustus Rookwood, Philip Mulciber and Andrew Travers have been re-apprehended and are back in Azkaban."
The Council applauded – some with more enthusiasm than others.
Unfortunately, the members more likely to be on the 'less enthusiastic' side of things were on Jen's side of the Chamber, and she therefore could not see their faces.
Thankfully, Augusta could, and Jen trusted her to make a note of them.
"Thank you," Amelia said, causing the clapping to die down. "There were, however, others apprehended, in Death Eater garb, with Dark and Unforgiveable curses showing on their wands. We gather here today to hear testimony and pass judgement."
A sheet of parchment appeared on the desk in front of Jen's chair, listing the names and the charges. Lucius Malfoy, Walden McNair, Vincent Crabbe Sr, Calista Jugson, Hubert Avery, Theodore Nott Sr, Isabelle Edwards … all charged with treason to the Ministry, membership of a terrorist organisation (Death Eaters), uses of Unforgivable Curses, breaking and entering …
Jen sighed. It was going to be a long day.
While Jen settled in to the first of seven Death Eater trials, Mandy settled in at her desk to review the paperwork for the next Quidditch World Cup.
The European Cup final would be taking place within a few weeks in France, but as England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland had all been knocked out during the first few rounds, Mandy didn't really need to bother with it. There was not even any cause for Magical Britain to send a representative.
Mandy sighed. Once upon a time, an open seat at any Quidditch game she wished would have been a dream come true.
Not right now, though.
Maybe the war would be over by the time the next World Cup came around and she could talk Sirius and Jen in to letting her take Harry to Germany to see the final – whether the home teams made it or not.
In the meantime, the World Cup hadn't even started yet, and she still had a lot to do, even if England wasn't hosting it this time.
A knock at her office door caught her attention and she waved her visitor in absently. "Just one moment."
"Of course."
Normally, Mandy would have finished the paragraph she was reading but Amos Diggory showing up in her office was reason enough to take a break.
"Amos," she greeted, just cordially enough to pass for acceptable. "What can I do for you? Please, close the door."
Amos pushed the office door closed and took the seat on the other side of her desk. "I apologise for the interruption, but I need to speak to someone about this, and – well – you were the first person I thought of."
Mandy set the paperwork aside. "Okay, you've got my attention."
Amos took a deep breath. "I'm worried about Cedric. He's … acting strangely."
"Strangely?" Mandy prompted.
"He's quiet, withdrawn …" Amos shook his head. "He's not acting like himself."
"Well, he's been through quite a lot," Mandy said. "I know Addie said the Death Eaters never came to them, but … Well, sometimes the waiting and the not knowing is the worst part."
Amos gave a small nod. "How … How is she?"
Mandy gave him a sharp look, but his query appeared to be genuine. "She's coping." She answered briskly, then changed the subject. "Has Cedric spoken to anyone about what happened?"
"I assume he spoke with Addie while they were out there," Amos said. "Other than that, no."
Mandy thought for a second. "I suppose …" she said slowly. "I suppose Addie and Harry would be the best people for him to talk to … I can send someone to pick him up and take him over to where they're staying. No offence, but I doubt you and Addie being in the same airspace is a good idea."
Unlike Mandy, Arabella did not have a lot to do. Creature Comforts, the pet shop she had worked in since she graduated and owned since the former owner passed away and left it to her, was open, but it was a quiet day, and so she was working in the back office.
Her two Saturday employees were out on the shop floor, and Arabella had enough confidence in them to let them to run the place. So, instead, she was reviewing the June profits, absently petting the tortoiseshell cat that had hopped up on to her lap.
"Arabella?"
Arabella glanced up, a frown creasing her forehead at the sight of Mandy's head floating in the flames of the fireplace. "Mandy. Everything okay?"
"Mostly," Mandy answered. "Amos Diggory just stopped by my office."
Arabella pulled a face, but said nothing; she and Mandy both knew each other's opinion of Amos well enough.
"He's worried about Cedric – the kid hasn't talked to anyone apparently, since he got back. Do you mind …?"
"Going to get him and take him to Harry and the others?" Arabella finished.
"If it's not too much trouble," Mandy said apologetically.
"Not at all." Arabella flicked her wand, sending the papers flying neatly back into order and into the charmed folder that only she could open. "I'm killing time here anyway."
Mandy sighed in relief. "Thanks hun – I'm a bit swamped here. I'd ask Jen, but she's got an emergency Council – and the last thing we need is for Amos to take him over."
"Absolutely," Arabella agreed, shifting the cat off her lap in favour of grabbing her cloak. "Let me just let the girls know I'm going and I'll head on over."
"Thanks Arabella; I owe you one," Mandy said, just before she vanished.
Arabella stepped out in to the front of the shop. Charlotte was over by the rabbits, feeding them, and Elizabeth was behind the counter.
"Liz, I'm heading out; I've got something to take care of."
"Not a problem," Elizabeth said with a smile. "Do you know how long you'll be?"
"Hopefully not too long," Arabella answered. "But if something does happen, go to Weasley's Wizard Wheezes – the twins will be able to contact me."
Elizabeth – who had been at Hogwarts a few years ahead of the twins – shuddered dramatically. "I think we'll just deal with it ourselves."
Arabella laughed and made her way through the front of the shop to let herself out into Diagon Alley.
The Alley was busier than it had been when she and Mandy had returned from Europe, but it still had the same unnerving quiet that it had held when she had first started working there.
Arabella hurried through the Alley to the apparition spot and turned sharply, arriving just outside the Diggorys' home down in Ottery St Catchpole.
It was only then that Mandy's words caught up with her – Jen was at the Ministry? For an emergency Council? What happened to the honeymoon?
Deciding then and there that she was not going to mention this when she got to Potter Manor – Sirius would worry and Addie would just feel guilty that she hadn't sworn in yet so couldn't go in Jen's stead – Arabella knocked sharply on the door.
Tabitha Diggory answered with a tired expression that became a smile almost immediately. "Arabella, how wonderful to see you! Please, come in."
"Thank you," Arabella said, stepping inside. "I'm sorry for dropping in on you like this …"
"Oh, not at all," Tabitha said immediately. "Would you like a cup of tea?"
"Oh, no thank you," Arabella said, trying not to sound hasty. She had never even had a full conversation with Tabitha before the Triwizard Tournament, and that was to tell her that her son was dead.
Or not, as it turned out.
"Actually, Mandy asked me to drop by – Amos said Cedric's not doing too well?"
Tabitha's smile faded. "No, he's not. I'm getting worried."
"Mandy and I thought it might be a good idea for me to take him over to Potter Manor so he can talk to Harry," Arabella explained.
"Oh, would you?" Tabitha said. "Thank you so much. He's barely left his bedroom – he won't even go flying!"
"Well, that's the first sign something's wrong," Arabella joked – except she wasn't joking, not really.
Tabitha disappeared up the stairs and Arabella waited for her to return, with Cedric in tow.
When she did, Arabella felt her heart break in her chest, and desperately tried not to let it show on her face.
The Cedric she had taught had been a quiet, well-mannered, chivalrous young man – he would have done well in Gryffindor, were it not for the fact that he rarely sought any recognition from himself.
Arabella remembered Amos wailing about it being 'his fault' after the third task, and wondered if maybe Cedric had entered for his father, rather than for himself.
Now, though, he was different. Still quiet, still perfectly polite in the way he greeted her, but the light in his eyes had dimmed and the good humour that had made him such a good prefect and so popular among the younger years had all but vanished from the way he held himself and the look on his face.
"Good morning Professor."
Arabella smiled at him. "Please, Cedric, just call me Arabella – I'm not teaching now. I was going to go and visit Harry – I thought you might like to come."
Relief flashed in Cedric's eyes for a split-second, before he nodded.
Tabitha Diggory gave her son a hug and a kiss, and he followed Arabella out of the house, taking her arm without prompting.
Arabella didn't question it – Hogwarts taught apparition in sixth year, and students who came of age in the first half of the year had the opportunity to take their test in the spring, unlike their cohorts who would need to wait until the summer, but she had a feeling that the Tournament had delayed Cedric from learning – let alone getting his licence.
They apparated to the outskirts of Potter Manor, and only then did Cedric relax a little.
"Thank you for this," he said quietly. "Mum means well, but …"
"She doesn't get it," Arabella finished.
Cedric nodded. "Neither does Dad."
Arabella didn't grace that with a response. Amos had been approached by the Order during the first war, but he had declined, confident that his pure blood would protect him and his family – if no one else.
It was a foolish belief (even if it had held true) – after all, the McKinnons had always been a well-known neutral family, refusing to take sides in any conflict, until Addie and Leona's parents joined the Order – and no one had known that, even after they were murdered, except the members themselves.
Still, on saying that, Arthur and Molly hadn't joined the Order the first time either, since they had little ones, so maybe that had been the root of Amos's dissent; maybe her own feelings for the man were coming in to play.
Whatever the reason, Amos had never seen combat, so he certainly would not understand what his son had gone through, however hard he tried.
"Did Fred and George explain Sirius's innocence?" Arabella asked.
"They did," Cedric said. "I still can't believe he never got a trial – what was Crouch thinking?"
"He was thinking Sirius was from a well-known Dark family and he wanted the popularity points," Arabella answered dryly. "Then broke his son out of Azkaban and held him under the Imperius for the next thirteen years, the hypocrite."
"I heard a rumour about that," Cedric said with a frown. "Mum and Dad won't actually tell me anything, so …"
"It's probably going to be better coming from Harry," Arabella said. "I'm not fobbing you off, I promise. Just … he was there."
"I know," Cedric said. "How's Addie?"
"Much better, last time I saw her," Arabella said. "That was yesterday, at the wedding."
"Wedding?" Cedric repeated.
"Jen – Lady Black – got married yesterday," Arabella explained. "They had to keep it quiet though because she married Professor Lupin and your father hasn't got the laws overturned yet."
Cedric's face lit up in the first genuine smile she'd seen all day. "Brilliant! I liked Professor Lupin – it sucked that he had to leave!"
Arabella smiled. "Yes, it did. I think he's used to it now though."
"Well, he shouldn't be," Cedric said.
At that moment, as they approached the house, the front door opened and Addie stepped out.
For a second, she just stared at them. Then she was running towards them. "What happened? Are you okay?"
It was probably a question Cedric had been asked a hundred times since his homecoming, but this was also probably the first time he answered it honestly. "No, not really."
His voice cracked on the last word.
Addie skidded to a halt in front of him, opening her arms, and he just about fell into them. Both women pretended his shoulders weren't shaking, and greeted each other like nothing had happened.
"The others are all down at the Quidditch pitch," Addie said. "I felt the wards ping as you arrived so I came back up. You want to meet us down there?"
"Yeah, of course," Arabella said.
A second later, a brown tabby darted off in the direction of the Quidditch pitch.
Addie smiled to herself. The grounds of Potter Manor were so big that the Marauders had often used their Animagus forms to traverse it (when David Potter wasn't looking, of course), simply because they could cover more ground like that.
She, herself, didn't move, waiting for the young man in her arms to stop shaking, whereupon she pressed a kiss to his forehead and released him. "Not doing too well, huh?"
"It's …" Cedric faltered. "It's difficult."
"I know," Addie said, slipping an arm through his as they ambled in the direction of the pitch. "Believe me, I do."
Aside from Cedric's initial explanation of the Tournament and his knowledge of what happened in the graveyard, they hadn't talked about their ordeals during their imprisonment.
Cedric had filled her in on the fates of her school friends – the ones he knew of – and she had tried to teach him wandless magic and told him stories of her times at Hogwarts.
But neither of them had talked about what really mattered.
Addie had been unwilling to unpick everything she had buried deep inside her; reluctant to break down there, while it wasn't safe.
Cedric, presumably, had followed her lead.
Now, however, they were safe, so he asked, "That's right – your body was found, wasn't it?" She had reminded him of that when he first arrived, as part of her reassurances that he wasn't dead, that there was another curse.
Addie smiled humourlessly. "Let's not be so polite about it. They put it in an Inferi army."
Cedric shuddered. "I did hear that, yes. What happened? And why?"
"Bellatrix Lestrange happened," Addie said darkly. "Although … she might have still been Bellatrix Black then … No, I'm sure she married straight out of school. Anyway, when she found out Sirius and Jen had joined the aurors, she was furious. I mean, she hated them anyway for refusing to join Voldemort, but actively joining the fight against him was the icing on the cake."
"So she faked your death?" Cedric asked with a frown. "Why?"
"She made sure mine went straight to Sirius," Addie whispered. "James said … James said it nearly killed him. The shock, I guess, and …"
"And he couldn't bring himself to hurt you," Cedric finished, squeezing her arm. "I can understand that. I mean, why fake it? Why not just kill you? I mean, I'm glad she didn't, but …"
"I wondered that," Addie said. "But she knew. I mean, why kill us? She thought Regulus was torturing us and … Merlin knows what else. Bellatrix is a very intelligent woman. Sadistic, yes, but very intelligent. Killing me then would end it. Leaving me alive meant I carried on suffering – and believe me, she wanted me to suffer."
"Do you think …" Cedric hesitated. "Do you think that was why your family was targeted as well?"
"No," Addie said with certainty. "Sirius certainly blamed himself, I know, but the world does not revolve around his family hating him. If it was just me who'd been attacked, I'd consider it, but my entire family died. An entire neutral pureblood family, wiped out in a matter of hours. She would never have got up the support without Voldemort, and he wouldn't have done that for a teenage fling."
"Hardly a fling," Cedric said. "You loved him. You still do."
"I know," Addie said with a smile. "But we had only been together six months at that point."
"Huh," Cedric said. "I figured it was longer."
"Well, I'd known him a lot longer," Addie conceded. "But we weren't really talking about me; we were talking about you. Despite everything else I went through, there is nothing more terrifying than hearing something that sounds like the Killing Curse, and seeing that light rush towards you."
"I thought I was going to die," Cedric whispered.
"I know," Addie said. "And that does something to you. And burying it is not going to help."
"You buried it," Cedric muttered, a little petulantly.
"Not when it happened," Addie said gently. "I talked to my sister. I even talked to Regulus, who was actually surprisingly helpful for someone raised Slytherin whose only advice growing up was 'walk it off'."
"I was seventeen," Cedric said. "Harry was fourteen. And all I could do was leave him there."
Addie released his arm to wrap hers around his shoulder. "You know, Jen says that Harry's been blaming himself, and did so right up to the moment he found out you were okay."
"But he's a kid," Cedric protested. "No one knows what happened when he was a baby – it doesn't make him superhuman!"
"You seem to be one of the few that realises that," Addie muttered.
As they reached the entrance to the Quidditch pitch, Harry emerged with two brooms – his own Firebolt, and a second that Addie thought might be a Nimbus 2001 – it was hard to tell with the handle pointed away from her.
Cedric stopped dead in his tracks; Harry shifted both brooms to one side and held out a hand. "Welcome back."
Cedric ignored his outstretched hand and embraced him like a little brother.
Addie rescued the brooms, stepping away to give them a bit of privacy. Whatever was said between the two boys – young men, really – was too quiet for her to hear, and when they broke apart, both of them were a little red-eyed.
Despite this, Harry was smiling. "We're about to play a pick-up game. Want to play?"
A small smile appeared on Cedric's face. "Love to. You might actually beat me this time."
Harry laughed. "No 'might' about it, mate." He took the brooms back from Addie and handed the Nimbus to Cedric. "Come on then."
Addie followed them in, watching them both take off and join the others in the air.
Neville was sitting with Sirius and Arabella, but Hermione – surprisingly – had joined the others in the air.
"I didn't know Hermione played," Addie said.
"She doesn't," Neville answered, leaning back on his hands to watch them. "She's scared of heights."
"Then how come she's up there?" Addie asked.
"Numbers," Sirius answered. "She was going to sit it out, but when Cedric arrived, that made the teams uneven and it wasn't fair to ask one of the others to sit out."
"Yes, but is it fair to ask Hermione to fly if she's scared of heights?" Addie asked.
"No," Neville answered. "No one asked her; she volunteered. The ground has a Cushioning Charm and she wouldn't hit it anyway. Harry would catch her first."
Sirius caught her eye. "Hermione's only scared of heights when Harry's not there. I don't think she even realises she does it.
That evening, Addie was tying her hair up before dinner, when Winky appeared beside her with a soft pop and a curtsey.
"Miss Addison, I is having a note for you!"
Addie took the parchment with a smile and unfolded it, finding Sirius's handwriting inside.
Addie
Would you please join me in the West wing for dinner?
Padfoot
PS, Yes – I've sorted the 'kids' out.
Addie laughed aloud.
Yes, that was the first thought that came in to her head, right down to the quotation marks.
"Kindly tell Sirius that I will be there in a few moments?"
Winky curtsied again. "Of course, Miss Addison." She disappeared and Addie finished pinning her hair back, checking her reflection with a critical eye.
She had regained most of the weight she had lost over the last eighteen years and she looked far more alive than she had upon her return. It wasn't as good as she would like, but progress was progress.
The 'kids' as Sirius put it would be eating down in the dining room, giving them a chance for privacy (which in a house the size of Potter Manor was actually harder than you'd think).
The West wing of the house actually started on the second floor, since the library took up the entire first floor by itself.
There were several bedrooms, including Sirius's, but the only door that was open led to a room that officially had no real purpose, and had likely been used for a hundred different things throughout the generations.
When they were younger, it was this room that James had used as a kind of den when his friends visited, preferring it to the actual 'Heirs' Suite' (which was intended for that purpose).
This evening, however, it bore a single round table, laid for dinner, and a small sofa where Sirius was waiting.
"Did you check on the kids?" He asked by way of greeting, a smile on his face.
"No, I trust you," Addie responded. She paused. "Should I?"
Sirius rolled his eyes. "I asked for that, didn't I?"
"Walked straight into it," Addie said cheerfully, taking the seat beside him. "Do you have any objections if we have that talk now rather than after we eat?"
"No, of course not." Sirius's hand brushed against hers and she wove her fingers through his, squeezing lightly. "Ladies first?"
"If you don't mind," Addie said, trying to order her thoughts. Taking a deep breath, she let it out slowly, lifting her eyes to meet his. "I'm not completely okay. I don't think you are either. But I also think that we could both wait forever and we wouldn't be okay."
"I think you're right," Sirius said quietly. "Azkaban … I'm not nearly as bad as I was a year ago. Or even six months ago. Having Ravenscroft … and coming here … Before it felt like I'd traded one prison for another; now I actually feel free."
"You are certainly a lot better than I'd feared," Addie said. "How did you do it?"
"I was innocent," Sirius said. "It's not a happy thought, so they couldn't take it away. But it gave me something to focus on." He fell silent for a few moments, his eyes searching her face for … something, she wasn't sure what.
He did this sometimes, just look at her, and she never asked, because she figured it was similar to her need to touch him, even if just a hand on his arm to remind herself that he was here and alive.
"I lost your face, in Azkaban," he whispered hoarsely. "But not your voice. That memory of finding you … of watching you disappear in front of me … that was the worst memory I had …"
"But you found Harry, didn't you?" Addie asked shakily.
"But their bodies weren't there," Sirius said. "And Harry and Hermione were okay. And, yes, finding that empty house was awful … realising that my brother was …"
"Fine," Addie murmured, inching closer. "He's fine."
Sirius took a shaky breath. "I know. I know he is. But that was never going to be as awful as watching you disappear in front of my eyes knowing that there was nothing I could do."
"You were there," Addie said. "That was enough." She nestled into his arms and he held her tightly, tighter than he had since her return, even though she knew that holding back cost his restraint dearly.
"You told me that you would always love me," Sirius said into her hair. "Dementors draw out bad memories, but they can't edit them. So they could never take you away completely, because they could never take that away from me."
"What about …?" Addie hesitated, not really wanting to ask but concerned all the same that he was burying things that would come back to haunt him later. "My body appeared."
"It did," Sirius said in a low voice. "That nearly killed me."
Addie shuddered. "I know. James said."
Sirius shook his head. "Not the … Not at the time. Although, he was probably right about that. I mean afterwards. Living without you was already torture and then …" He sighed. "It probably wasn't the Gryffindor way, but I went to Jen and I asked her to help me. She cast a modified Memory Charm – I know what happened and everything that followed, but I don't remember it happening." He smiled sadly. "I know; I'm a coward."
"No, you're not," Addie said quietly. "There's nothing cowardly about asking for help, Sirius. I think when Bellatrix faked my death, she thought that the biggest torture for me would be knowing that no one would be looking for me, but … it wasn't. The worst part was knowing what it would do to you and I … I was so scared you'd do something stupid."
"I nearly did," Sirius admitted quietly. "So many times. Until Hermione was born."
A smile crossed Addie's face unbidden. "Good."
Sirius cleared his throat. "Anyway – yes, Azkaban was awful, but I know that I am a lot better than I could be. You said that neither of us was going to be okay again – I think you're wrong about that."
Addie raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"
"What is okay?" Sirius asked rhetorically. "Neither of us are going to be the way we were in seventh year, no. But that doesn't mean we're not going to be okay."
Addie smiled. "Maybe you're right." She fell quiet for a second, savouring the warmth of being held in his arms, something that would have been so second-nature once but that she would never take for granted again. "I guess what I was worried about was … and it's not the case for me; I loved you then and I love you now … but …. We're not the people we were when we fell in love with each other. I figured if anything had changed, it was better to figure that out first, rather than try to pick up where we left things off and make things …"
"Difficult," Sirius finished.
Addie nodded, looking away. Even though every signal she had received should reassure her, she couldn't help the fear that Sirius was about to break her heart.
A kiss landed on her hairline and she smiled. "I'm doing it again, aren't I?"
"Yes, you are." Sirius touched her face and gently drew her attention back to him. "We may have changed, Shadow, but nothing else has. I still love you just as much as I did eighteen years ago, if not more. You were right, when you said that picking up where we left off was a bad idea. But what do you say to starting something new?"
"Well, that depends," Addie said.
"Oh? And what are your terms, my lady?" Sirius asked with a grin, clearly recognising the glint in her eye.
Addie tilted her face up towards him. "I don't think we need to start over on everything, do you?"
Sirius chuckled, drawing her closer. "Excellent idea, Miss McKinnon." He kissed her, for only the second time since her return.
The last time, merely hours after their reunion, had been overshadowed by her inner turmoil, an irrational fear that coursed through her veins like adrenaline.
Now, however, the only adrenaline rushing through her was the familiar love, affection and want that pushed her to move closer, shivering as his hands ran over her back and sliding in to her hair.
Very reluctantly, she broke their embrace. "Not that I'm complaining," she said, a little breathlessly, "but you did promise me dinner."
Sirius gave her a roguish grin. "Are you sure there's no way I can convince you that you're hungry for something else?"
Addie's stomach growled in response, and they both laughed.
"I'll take that as a no," he said, helping her to her feet. "Come on then, I suppose I'd better feed you."
Addie rolled her eyes, not bothering to hide her smile. "I take it back – you haven't changed a bit."
Dinner appeared on the table as they approached, either by house elf or by the removal of a Preservation Charm.
"If you say so, darling," Sirius said, pulling out a chair for her. "I'm sure I used to be able to talk you out of dinner every now and then."
"I'm fairly sure back then, I wasn't playing Quidditch with a load of teenagers twenty years younger than me," Addie said. She gave him a coy smile as he sat down. "I'm sure I can be persuaded about dessert though."
