Hello! Here's an early update because I'm going camping from tonight and won't have access to WiFi. No updates for a week! Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter, I don't think I can thank you enough! Here's the third chapter and I hope you enjoy!


Shattered: Chapter 2

"The problem with surviving was that you ended up with the ghosts of everyone you'd ever left behind riding on your shoulders." - Paolo Bacigalupi, The Drowned Cities

Ethan felt horrible. He was tired, his chest burned, his throat felt sore- the list goes on. He knew he was in hospital as a patient. He knew it was because of the car crash. The car crash he caused. He knew- from Cal's little speech when he thought Ethan wasn't listening- that Cal saved his life. Ethan felt to tired to open his eyes to let Cal know that he was awake- and, anyway, Cal seems to say more- in the way of true feelings- when he thinks Ethan is sleeping. Something which Ethan has taken advantage of in the past. He did feel a feather light movement- almost air brushing over his hand just before Cal left. He could only assume that was Cal's hand.

Ethan heard to door open again- and thought it was only nurses like it kept being. He heard the distinct voice of his brother telling the people already in the room to step outside. His voice seemed different. Ethan couldn't quite put his finger on it- but it sounded more strained then usual. He heard the door shut and his brother flop down into a chair. He heard Cal sniff quite loudly. Had he been crying? Ethan thought he better open his eyes- he could try anyway. He still didn't really know if he could manage it.

Cal was looking at Ethan- waiting for him to wake up. He needed to know straight away about Ash- before anyone else could have the chance to tell him. If anything, it needed to come from Cal, and Cal alone. Cal looked closer at Ethan and saw that he was, in fact, awake. Opening his eyes seemed like an effort for him. "Ethan? Can you hear me, buddy?" Cal asked quietly and gently.

"Mm..." Ethan answered. Wow- he'd never found it so hard to talk. It was like his throat was clogged up. It didn't really feel right not to be able to speak properly. Ethan knew it would wear off- these things always would.

"Ethan, the thing is," Cal hesitated. How was he meant to break this to his brother? He could always ease Ethan into it, give his brain time to wake up. That way, it would come as that much of a shock. Ethan would be slowly brought to the terrible news of Ash's death. Then there was also the option of telling him straight and getting it out as soon as possible. In Ethan's weak state, he may not understand first time- Cal would have to repeat it. It probably would come out very bluntly- something which Cal wanted to avoid. Then there was the option of just leaving it completely. Wait...why was Cal even considering putting it off? No. First option maybe. Yes, first option. Definitely first option. "Ash is dead." First option! You said you were going for the first option! That was not the first option! What. An. Idiot.

Ethan heard his brother but didn't quite comprehend what he said. He said Ash was dead, right? Had he heard correctly? No, he mustn't have done. No one was dead, surely? Ash was caught up in the crash, did he die because of that? Did the crash Ethan cause kill Martin Ashford? No, no, no. He refused to believe it. No way. He heard Cal wrong. Yes, that happened. He heard Cal wrong.

"Eth?" His brother asked. Ethan's eyes focused more on Cal's face. They were tear stained and Cal had tears gathering in the corner's of his eyes. He looked like he was trying to hold himself together. He looked like he would crack from the strain of holding it together if he did for much longer. "Talk to me, Ethan. What are you thinking?" Ethan didn't really know how to put into words what he was thinking. His thoughts were more of a jumbled mess than anything else, and he knew he could barely talk anyway- let alone talk loud enough so Cal would hear it through the oxygen mask Ethan didn't have the strength to remove.

"Ash?" Ethan croaked. He saw Cal reluctantly and slowly nod. "Dead?" Another nod and a couple of tears falling from Cal's red eyes. This must have been some joke. A sick one at that. It definitely wasn't a very funny joke and Ethan kind of wished Cal would give up already. It couldn't have been real. Ash was conscious, talking, breathing... fine. He was fine at the crash. What happened to make him die- if he did, which Ethan still doubted. Maybe blood loss- his leg was trapped if Ethan's memory served him correctly. There would be no other reason for his death. The paramedics were brilliant which meant that they would have been able to stem the bleed, free Ash, and transport him to the ED- before his colleagues could save him. "Can't be." He decided aloud. Cal took a moment or two before taking Ethan's hand in his own.

"Look, Eth, I know this is a lot to take in-"

"-how did he die?" Ethan's voice what that of a whisper and he was already feeling increasingly tired. Cal didn't know how to answer that. He didn't know himself. He guessed it was some sort of fire- judging by the ash-covered faces of Dixie and Jeff. Maybe there was a petrol leak or something and the van caught fire? That was very plausible and wasn't rare in car accidents. But, how could he tell Ethan something he wasn't sure of?

"You get some rest, Ethan. I'll come back later." Cal said eventually, letting go of his little brother's hand- which felt sort of painful- and leaving the room in one swift motion.

Ethan looked at the door as it shut and wondered what just happened. Was Ash really dead, if so, how did he die? Ash was probably dead, he decided. Cal wouldn't lie to him like that and he certainly wasn't that good of an actor. Ash was dead... he was actually dead, right? Ethan finally fell into a deep slumber- the last thought on his mind being, 'it's my fault Ash is dead'.