Eren sat hunched over in his borrowed bed, staring at the warm blanket covering him to the waist. His forhead was swathed in bandages covering already healed wounds he sustained from his vicious grudge match with Annie that left Stohess in smoking ruins.
Soft golden light cast a shadow of the open windowpane as a gentle breeze stirred the thin white curtains. A pot of blue flowers sat on the sill, the only spot of color in the entire room where the tall lithe form of Jean Kirstein lounged against the tawny wall, with his arms crossed.
Mikasa's soft, worried voice broke through his mental fog.
"Eren? You okay?"
Feeling like he was still in a daze he slowly lifted his gaze to meet his 'sister's concerned black orbs. Armin stood a few feet from his bedside, dressed in a plain white button down shirt and simple pants. Shrewd bright blue eyes stared a hole into his mind for answers he was too embarrassed to give because they were personal. Besides, the horse-faced preacher himself was still in the room and right now, he wasn't in the mood for a truth sermon. He'd get plenty of those soon enough.
No. I'll never be okay again. Not after this. I still can't believe Annie's a traitor...but I had no choice. I couldn't risk her breaching the wall. But she still got away, thanks to me. Why did I hesitate those few seconds? Now she's crystallized herself and there's no getting the answers we desperately need. Dammit!
"Yeah." His reply was soft and tinged with fatigue. "Matter of fact it's weird how okay I feel. I've healed pretty quick." And that lady from earlier...who was she? Whoever she was it was clear she wasn't someone to mess with. All I know is that she's a Major. "So...Annie's still frozen?"
Jean scoffed in disgust. "Yeah. Ya think after all the sacrifices we've made, fate would cut us a little slack."
Except it doesn't work that way, does it horseface? If he had more energy that'd be his sharp retort. Armin chose at that moment to point out the most obvious flaw in an otherwise flawless plan.
"You let her go. Didn't you Eren?"
He stared at the coverlet, not daring to meet his best friend's perceptive gaze.
"You gave her an out-"
"I know, I didn't mean to, I just..." Eren paused. Annie's silvery tear tracks appeared in the front of his mind, forcing him to find the right words without giving too much away. "When I saw her face, I just...froze."
He was saved by further inquiries with an arrival of a MP.
"Armin Arlert. Jean Kirstein. You're up."
"Yes sir." The small blonde replied. He turned to look at his taller friend.
"Huh. Guess we're up first."
Both young men walked toward the door. Eren barely heard Armin say "See you later," before disappearing around the wooden frame. He sensed Jean linger in the opening a few seconds more, looking at Mikasa a little longer than he felt comfortable with. Only the order to appear for questioning pulled him away and Eren felt his gut unclenching. Finally he could let his guard down.
"It felt good yanno," he said quietly letting his inner pain seep through for Mikasa to see, the only person who would ever get to see him vulnerable. "Just letting go. My body, my mind...it was like, like I wanted to die-"
"Eren!"
He gasped, jerking slightly. That wasn't supposed to slip out. No need to worry Mikasa any further. If she grasped just how suicidal his thoughts were becoming, she'd never leave him alone. He needed to protect her from his own madness.
"It's okay," he whispered. "I don't feel like that anymore." Lies, lies, lies. I'll never be okay again. And here I thought Annie was a bad liar. Heh. If they only knew...
He was tempted to ask Mikasa about that short reddish blonde woman Major but on seeing her saddened face, thought better of it. His stomach rumbled and without further hesitation tore into the food with gusto.
...
Sierra breathed a sigh of relief as she stood under a hot shower in one of Stohess HQ's officer quarters. She craned her neck, allowing the water to sluice off all the sweat and dirt she'd accumulated during the afternoon. It was a big deal for her to stay clean no matter where she was, be it out in the field or wherever housing she stayed at.
Though brief, the shower felt good and all too soon she stepped out. She dried off thoroughly with a fluffy towel, then dressed in a clean plum shirt and casual black pants. Black laced boots went on over her feet, wanting to be ready when Erwin sent for her to discuss the latest developments including titan shifters and Eren's role in saving humanity.
She shook her chin length hair out, sending water droplets everywhere. Satisified it would dry faster, she made her way over to the large queen bed a fine mahogany four poster with a thick comforter that had every hue of green and blue under the sun, and goosedown pillows. The young woman flopped down on top of the comforter and laced her fingers behind her head staring at the ceiling.
Well Sierra, she thought, you gone done stepped in it now haven't ya. Jest yer luck to run almost slap bang into Levi right off the bat. But she couldn't help but feel uneasy over his condition. Levi looked like hell and an emotional breakdown was soon to follow. She knew he was too proud to bawl like a baby. It would be gradual, like floes breaking off an iceberg.
She felt her eyes droop. Today's hard ride coupled with her high speed chase through Stohess after the shifters drained her dry. But before she could close her eyes completely a sharp knock sounded on the door.
"Yeah?"
"Sierra. It's me."
She stilled at the familiar deep baritone. This is Levi. He won't hurt you. For a split second she allowed his voice to wash over her like warm chocolate before pushing up to her elbows, so that her back was more supported by the pillows. Sierra refused to face Levi lying down.
"Okay."
The door swung open and Levi strode into the room, grey eyes sweeping her quarters, briefly getting aquainted with her temporary domain. Finding nothing out of place he returned his gaze to hers.
She nodded to the chair sitting by the window, indicating where he should sit. He returned the gesture and without a word he crossed the carpeted floor, his boots making no noise and sat down, crossing one foot over his knee. Sierra tracked his movement with her eyes only. "If you come in, stay where I can see you," she recalled those being some of the very first words she said the first time he did this back during her earliest stay at the old castle, when avoiding him became impossible. To her surprise he took the chair at the desk in her room, a book in hand, without a biting retort and went out of his way not to make any sudden movements.
Over the span of ten years, he was the only man she granted this special privilege to albeit sparingly. Not that she ever told him that out loud. He'd sit there until she fell asleep, a silent sentinel at her teakwood desk, leaving well before she woke. It didn't sit well with the ex-thug's sense of decency to be caught in a minor's room, no matter how innocent the situation looked. His hands were full enough with another alluring young lady who was slowly but surely making inroads into his long-dead heart.
"What d'you want Levi? Erwin's not done with his briefing yet."
The dark-haired man shrugged.
"I know. I just didn't feel like staying in my room. Too quiet." She tilted her head slightly at his words. That was the closest he was willing to say he didn't want to be alone. "'Sides I don't feel like sleeping much anyway."
"Why'd ya do it?"
He cocked his head, completely baffled. The hell's she talking about?
"Do what?"
She sat up further, eyes hardening into twin chips of ice. Forget waiting. They were going to have this out now.
"Send me packing before the 57th." When he stiffened, she knew it was time to confront him. "You know damn well I never miss an expedition. So what possessed ya to treat me like a kid regarding this one?"
Levi crossed his arms over his chest, wishing he had a cup of black tea in his hand. At least he could use it as a focal point. "I had a bad feeling."
"That's it?!" Hot rage bubbled through her veins. "That's the reason you gave Erwin when you barged into his office?! Who the hell-" she hissed, teeth gleaming in the dying sunlight filtering through the half open window, "-gave you permission to run my life?! I'm not Petra."
She didn't miss the way his eyes darkened at the mention of the petite ginger's name and a bitter chuckle escaped her mouth. "She came to me a month before the 57th and ya wanna know what she told me?" Sierra covered her eyes loosely with her right hand. A low, disbelieving chuckle spilled out of her throat. "She wanted me to be her bridesmaid Levi. Her BRIDESMAID. In your wedding party. Girl wasted her last words telling me about her stupid wedding."
Levi surged forward in his chair, jaw tight.
"She admired you!" He rasped, anger scraping his throat. "They all did. And I needed her. I still need her." Levi's heart hammered in his chest, threatening to crack under the pressure. It hurts...oh God...it hurts so much.
"Ya can't stay engaged to a dead woman Levi," Sierra snapped. "Stop acting like a clingy teenager, do everyone a favor and move on."
Both soldiers glared daggers at each other. Sierra didn't care if she was hitting his sore spot. Her anger at being left out of an important mission to rip titans to bloody ribbons left her pissed and spoiling for a fight. She never joined for something noble as restoring the glory of humanity. No. The violence she'd endured as a child at the hands of snarling wolves soured her view.
For his part, Levi wondered if holding her back had been a smart idea. He recalled telling Erwin he'd rather see her angry and alive than be eaten. And it was also the reason he sent Petra to seek her out in the field whenever they made camp, just to make sure she was still alive.
Well...wish granted genius.
He sat back turning to look out the window at the darkening sky.
"I don't know if I can."
Just then three knocks sounded on the door before it was pushed open. A tall lean man wearing the standard MP jacket peered into the room, instantly on guard with the tension crackling between the deadliest warriors the Scouts had ever known.
"Captain Levi. Major Wolf. Commander Erwin requests your presence in his office."
"Right. Come on Levi." Sierra rose from the bed with an athlete's grace. "Let's get this over with."
Levi didn't respond as he used the table as leverage to stand.
"Lead on," he commanded. The police man held the door open.
"Right this way sir, ma'am."
Sierra walked behind the middle aged man who was walking at a semi-brisk pace. Somehow she sensed Levi keeping up despite his bad leg. Anger and frustration swirled inside, clamoring for release but she tamped it down.
Somehow, I got the feeling I'm not gonna like what Erwin's about to tell me.
But she'd make it clear to the tall iceman. From this point on, there would be no more secrets.
TBC...
A/N: big hugs to silent reader for the incredible review. I'm glad you picked up on both of them having a mutual understanding despite their clashes. That's gonna become crucial when all the crap literally hits the fan in later chapters. Sierra doesn't hate Levi per se, it's just they're both very strong and proud and that accounts for a lot of their clashing. But they're on the same page-for the most part-and that's all that matters in the long run.
