Hey guys! Apologies for the lateness. In response to one of the reviews, yes Paige is gay, I'll explain that a little further. Thanks for reading and commenting. It's appreciated as always. Was going to do one long chapter but I'm just going to split it. Oh and dates/months will probably have no correlation with the way the dates are falling in real life.

Paige lay on Emily's bed waiting on her to finish showering. Her thoughts were going a hundred miles a minute. Everything she thought she knew had been tipped on its head. Emily was just about the only girl Paige had never thought of that way. Sure, she made jokes about it all the time but that was all it was. Why now? Even in the most unlikely scenario where Emily did have actual feelings, she wasn't sure either of them would want to ruin what they had. It had taken their whole lives to get to where they were today. The thought of secrets, intimate conversations, safety v.s risking it all for one moment of lust scared Paige. It couldn't happen. She just hoped Emily would see it that way. Well Emily was going along with the first scenario so in theory everything should feel fine, right? But something felt so wrong to Paige. Like when you miss a step on the stairs, when you feel the urge to sneeze while holding a cup, when you swallow your food the wrong way. She just didn't feel right.

Emily stood for what felt like an eternity as the water fell over her. She had hardly moved at all, just standing, thinking, freaking out. In a matter of seconds she had driven a wedge between her and the most important person in her life. Paige had shot her down before they even discussed a different scenario. Maybe in an alternate universe, Emily didn't screw anything up. Or maybe, just maybe, Paige wasn't too quick to shut her down. But this was the universe she was in. She had to deal with it, or not. The shower water masked the tears as she started to well up. The complexity of the situation made her head hurt. It shouldn't have been this hard but it was. Who knew a few cocktails and a best friend led to so many questions? Unfortunately, they were past pretending it didn't happen. Emily was well aware of that. They were caught between the darkness and the dawn. Which side they ended up on, they'd have to wait and see.

Paige prepared herself as she she heard Emily shut off the water. She realised she'd been lying in towels since she showered so she hastily pulled on clothes just before Emily appeared. Paige pulled the friendliest smile she could without making it awkward. "We're still making pizza right?" She attempted to ignore the elephant in the room. Thankfully Emily smiled a little as she nodded. Paige punched the air in mock victory. Her efforts at fixing this were going okay so far. She reckoned they would normal by tonight and she hoped that wasn't just her cocky side taking over. She beckoned Emily over to the door so they could go and make a start on their pizzas. Emily obliged. Paige had a feeling Emily would make this weird so she was going to try her absolute best to lighten the mood.

Emily walked down the stairs carefully behind Paige as they made their way to the kitchen. She was counting down the minutes until her mom got home. Sadly, there were still many minutes. She offered Paige an apron and grimaced as Paige worriedly shook her head. Emily knew that was coming. The sting still hurt her, though. She watched Paige pull the sauces, meats and vegetables from the refrigerator before she herself got the bases from the cupboard. Technically they were just building pizzas but the fun was still there. Well, was until Emily had decided to lock lips with Paige. So stupid. She struggled to tie her apron but didn't dare to ask for Paige's help. She waited patiently for Paige to joke about the barbecue sauce. She didn't.

Paige watched Emily carefully as she spread sauce on her base. Her hands were shaking and the sauce wasn't even. Paige didn't know where to look. She found herself grabbing Emily's hand lightly as she guided the jerky spreading movements. The shaking came to a stop as Emily glanced at Paige. Paige didn't make eye contact with her and soon felt her look away. She went to turn the oven on just as Emily went to bin packets; they collided. They both bent down to pick up the packets and their hands brushed. Emily flinched and Paige pulled away. She couldn't try to lighten up anything. Not right now.

"Okay. I can't do this. I quit."

"Friends don't quit," mumbled Emily as she stared after Paige who was making her way out of the house.


"S.O.S" Emily sent her friends the alert as she put the pizzas in the oven, frustrated and confused. What happened to scenario 1? Oh yeah, it left with Paige. She sighed before flopping down at the table, holding her head in her hands which was how Hanna found her.

"Paige?"

"Ohhh yeah."

Spencer and Aria entered at the same time, Aria oblivious as to what was happening. Hanna filled her in before they sat down with Emily.

"Hey, Em," smiled Aria, "If you want to talk that's what we're here for."

Emily just looked at the three of them. What was she supposed to say? They knew what happened. Did they want it in graphic detail? All she wanted was company. If talking would help then she that's exactly what she would be doing but talking is hard.

"She's not talking to me. Man, I couldn't even drop something without us kicking off. I don't blame her, I really don't," confessed Emily.

"I get it. I'd totally freak if you came onto me too. Ow Spence, what was that for?!" Spencer had kicked Hanna under the table in the hope of shutting her up.

"Foot in mouth, Hanna?" Spencer snapped. Emily knew Hanna was right. She made a move on Paige out of nowhere, and given their sexualities, it couldn't be painted as a flirty, drunk kiss between friends. All it could be now was damage control.

The girls spent the rest of the night eating and laughing about past relationships. Emily retreated upstairs after they had helped clear up the house and left around 11 PM. She got into bed and felt something lumpy on the other side. Oh great. Paige had left her jumper. Emily found herself inhaling it deeply. Coconut. She then found herself crying once again. What had she done? She curled up into a ball and cried herself to sleep. Another night of over thinking wouldn't benefit anyone.


Paige, oppositely, lay awake tossing and turning. She wished she had tried harder that afternoon but she gave up so easily. She just couldn't deal with the awkwardness. She had to stay away from her. Yeah, that's what she would do. Take her out driving and go swimming but nothing else. No awkward touches, no unexpected kisses, no mess. She'd spend the next few weeks rebuilding the walls but burning bridges. It was for the best. Emily had other friends, she could deal. Paige might not be able to but that was okay. As long as Em could move on from this Paige didn't care where she would end up.


Emily heard her mom come in just as she woke up. Sleeping had had the opposite effect on her. She dragged herself up and downstairs to say hi to her mom.

"Hi honey. Emily you look like death."

"Well thanks mom." Emily couldn't bring herself to laugh, "I think I'm coming down with something."

"Oh go on back to bed, sweetie. I'll bring you milk and cookies."

"As much as I'd love to, I have work and then a driving lesson. But please hold that thought until 7 tonight." Pam nodded and squeezed Emily's shoulder.


Paige was sitting in The Brew with her usual bagel and an orange juice. Sundays were her chill day. Unluckily for her, she wasn't so chill when Em got there. It completely slipped her mind that Em had changed shifts. She mentally hit herself. Stupid Paige. She had to at least finish her food. Facebook provided some cover, who said social networking was a bad thing? She slyly watched Emily slip into the back room; she must start slightly later than Paige thought. 3 more bites and half a glass left. Time was on her side. But Emily was starting early.


Emily left the back room after tying her apron and scraping her hair back. She grabbed a notepad and went to talk to her boss behind the counter. It wasn't until she looked up to check on customers that she clocked Paige. She groaned internally. The only plus was that Paige had already been served. Another girl walked over to Paige and put her hand on her shoulder. Emily's eyes narrowed before glazing over with green. Who was Paige talking to? She watched Paige talk animatedly to this mysterious girl. The girl pulled a pen from behind her ear and took Paige's hand to write on it. Un-be-lievable. She couldn't even talk to Emily but she was happy to go calling random girls. What? Okay she was done. That did it for her. She watched Paige leave 5 minutes after mysterious girl. Probably going to meet up with her already. Sick, sick, sick.


Paige left The Brew feeling slightly happier after learning her cousin, Alex, had stopped by for a few weeks to surprise Paige. She transferred the number from her hand into her phone; she'd told Alex she'd rather have her stay at her house than a motel, give them some time to catch up. Thinking of what to do later, she phoned her dad to let him know about Alex. The thought of having someone close to talk to made her feel more at ease. Maybe she would be able to deal with the Emily situation after all.

Back at home Paige was setting up the guest room so it looked fresh. Alex was getting a taxi over and would be arriving soon. Nick was just as excited as Paige as he didn't really keep in touch with Paige's mother's side of the family after she passed. That wasn't because he didn't want to keep in touch, connections just faded after a while. Her dad was in the kitchen making dinner when Alex made an appearance. Paige lifted her bags up to the guest room and let Alex in to speak to Nick. She overheard them talking about Alex's mom; her aunt, Nick's sister-in-law. Alex reported that everyone on that side of the family were doing okay and were asking after Paige and Nick. Paige felt weird when people actually spoke about her mom's relatives. It seemed to be a taboo subject in her household. Paige understood that was her dad's way of dealing with it, but 5 years on should be enough time surely. Sometimes it was like her mom hadn't existed. Paige had no one to talk to about her. But Alex was here and she would happily remember the good times with Paige.

The 3 of them sat down to dinner for what was the beginning of a very pleasant evening. Paige was looking forward to the forthcoming weeks. Although absent of Emily, they held some fun times with Alex.


Emily barely got through work without taking someone's head off. Just as well The Brew was relatively quiet on a Sunday. The sun was setting when Emily had finished her shift. She knew it would be cold out so she put on more layers and a scarf. Stephen was picking her up anyway but it didn't hurt to be wrapped up.

"Hi, Emily. How are you?"

"Don't ask," Emily said bluntly.

"Easy tiger," joked Stephen, "today we're gonna focus on reverse parking."

"Oh great. Something else I can mess up" ...


Paige sat with Alex in her kitchen as they both attempted Paige's English homework. If only essays were as easy as swimming. Even Alex's extra three years ahead of Paige wasn't helping much but they were still trying to muddle through. They talked mostly about their summers as kids. Playing sports at their lake house, family barbecues in the evening, swimming at sundown... back when everything was simple. Heck, Emily even joined them some summers. Looks like Emily wasn't joining her for even breakfast ever again never mind summers at lake houses.


School without swim practice was a drag for Emily. She hated Mondays, although not as much as she hated the Paige situation. Mysterious girl was still exactly that. Emily couldn't bring herself to talk to Paige after her outburst and the girl was the icing on the cake.

"Still not talking, huh?" asked Hanna as they all sat down for lunch. Emily shook her head without actually looking up. She debated whether she should tell them about the other girl but she knew one of them would confront Paige and that would defeat the point of not talking to her. Aria decided to point the conversation in a new direction to avoid angering anyone. Emily's birthday party became the topic which completely changed the mood. Spencer was hosting it at her lake house and the girls were taking care of everything for Em. Aria was on aesthetics, Hanna; alcohol, Spencer; guest list. All Emily had to do was turn up. Her actual birthday was on Wednesday the 19th of November so they were having it the Saturday of that week. Only 19 days away! Everyone was relatively excited.


Paige spent the next few weeks swimming; recreationally with Alex and training with her team, taking trips to Philly at night, being very confused over homework and assignments, and most importantly, ignoring Emily. She found the latter the most excruciating task but the most rewarding. The nights were the worst. After Alex was asleep, Paige would lie for hours and stare at her ceiling wondering how Emily was doing, fighting the urge to text her. Her idea to keep up driving didn't work out. She thought it was for the best and Spence was helping out anyway in place of Paige.

Emily spent her weeks swimming, driving and hating herself. Her nights were spent silently sobbing and falling asleep when there were no more tears to give. Her friends had given up trying to keep her happy because ultimately, her happy place was non existent at the moment. She could try her hardest to smile but it would never reach her eyes, she could try to laugh but it would never reach her gut, she could try to tell herself it was all okay but it would never reach her soul. She needed comfort, she needed Paige.