Hey guys! I really need to start checking the grammar/spelling in the chapters but thanks so much for sticking with this and continuing to review anyway :) and I apologise for the erratic uploads, things keep coming up. I hope it's okay for you guys so far. Oh self harm mentions again, nothing graphic and I'll try my best to get the Christmas chapter up soon :) x
Emily panicked as she shook her head at Hanna.
"Hanna, we need to talk."
"You're damn right we do," Hanna continued to smile; she loved knowing things before other people and this was a big one. Paige left the locker room hurriedly and Emily locked the door behind her. Hanna looked at her, arms folded, grinning, waiting for Em to explain.
"So... are you two just getting it on or is there more to it?"
"Definitely more to it. I like her, as more than a friend and she feels the same."
"So the drunken kiss at Halloween wasn't a mistake?"
Emily ducked her head sheepishly.
"Oh my god, Emily. You totally made the first move!" laughed Hanna, "I'm so proud. How long have you-"
"Liked her? I have no idea. I guess if I wanted to kiss her then something had to have been there for a while. I got lucky that she liked me back. Well actually, she suggested it."
"I am so happy for you two and I must say, you're a couple of hotties so it totally works."
Emily laughed, "Thanks Han but we can't tell Aria or Spence."
"Uh why not?"
"I want to make sure it's real first. I don't want to let Paige in that way before I'm 100% certain she won't leave, that she won't wake up one day and decide to ditch me. We need time."
"Em, Paige of all people would never ditch you. But my mouth is closed don't worry. Please let me know when you decide to tell 'cause I want to be there," grinned Hanna. Emily nodded before unlocking the door.
"So she definitely isn't going to say anything?"
Emily laughed at Paige's panic as they lay entwined in Emily's bed, "No, Paige. We're safe. They'll know in good time. You were amazing today, by the way."
"As were you, as always. Hey we should go a drive before it gets too frosty outside," smiled Paige.
"Sure. I just gotta kiss you 'til you can't breathe first," Emily said as she climbed on top of Paige.
A good 15 minutes later they were making their way out to Paige's car, hot and bothered. Paige got into the passenger side and let Emily take the driver's seat, feeling pretty confident in the girl's ever improving ability. She turned on the heater and put in a CD she knew they could jam to; Kings of Leon's Mechanical Bull. They hit the road and before long Paige was taking the role of lead guitarist and backup vocals with Em belting out the songs, barely managing to keep her focus on the road. At least they knew if swimming didn't work out, forming a band was a dead certainty. An hour was spent driving and murdering various songs as well as inventing some interesting dance moves. Emily was glad she could act like an idiot with Paige but then go home and kiss her. Being best friends was the most important foundation for a lasting relationship and they already had this.
A while later they were back at Paige's. Facing her dresser, Paige tossed bed attire over her shoulder at Em. Emily took it upon herself to start stripping there and then. A very unaware Paige forgot how to breathe when she turned around. Emily stood with her hoodie, and nothing else bar her brassiere, caught above her head as she'd tried to pull it off and failed miserably.
"Uh, Paige? Little help please," came Emily's muffled distress.
Paige reached out slowly and tugged gently on Emily's jumper until she was free. Emily puffed the hair from her face and smiled at Paige, "Thank you." A moment passed before Emily took Paige's arms and placed them around her, forcing them into a hug. Emily rested her face in the space between Paige's shoulder and neck, closing her eyes. Paige felt the heat radiating from Em as she played with the strands of her hair. Emily whispered excitedly, "It's like a month 'til Christmas."
Paige shivered when she felt "Christmas" on her ear. "Speaking of which, do you want anything in particular?"
"Surprise me," Emily continued to whisper. Paige groaned internally. Picking Christmas gifts wasn't her strong point and she wanted it to be perfect for Em; the most enthusiastic girl about this holiday. Maybe Paige was going to have to enlist the help of Aria's artistic side, anything to make her girl happy. She still couldn't believe Em was her girl, everything had happened so fast. But she wouldn't have it any other way. Pulling away from Em slowly, she lifted the tank top she'd thrown a few minutes ago and put it on Emily. She let her hands smooth out the ripples running down the sides, touching Em's sides as she went. She hooked her forefinger under the bottom of the front and pulled Emily into her. They guided one another to the bed where they lay down, legs intertwined and facing each other; their favourite way to fall asleep. Emily murmured something about spring break before they were both out like a light.
Emily woke up first as she had her shift at The Brew but she didn't want to wake Paige. Gingerly, she moved from Paige to go and shower, making sure she tucked Paige back in. Her little sleeping beauty. Recalling one of the last times she showered at Paige's, she remembered to actually take a towel in with her this time.
Paige woke up around 15 minutes later, expecting to feel Emily and panicking when she didn't. Then she remembered Em had work and must have left already. Paige got up to go and shower before going to The Brew. She was still partially rubbing her eyes when she opened the door.
"Oh dear god, Paige!" Emily squealed as she struggled to pull her towel over her in time.
Still holding the door handle, Paige took one large step backwards and closed it as she exited the bathroom. She wished she could say she hadn't seen anything but that would be lying. Hearing the door open, she turned around to a rather red-faced Em who couldn't look her in the eye.
"I am so sorry. I didn't hear you come in and I was literally just out of the shower."
Paige laughed before telling Emily it was okay. Emily walked away to go and get dressed and Paige went to shower. When Paige was finished she got out fast, but not fast enough. In the bathroom was Emily, waiting eagerly to say, "Now we're even" with a grin on her face as she left. Unbelievable.
5 hours into her shift, Emily decided Paige wasn't going to show and wondered what was up. Was it because of this morning? It was only 3 hours until her 7 o'clock finish; she'd figure it out then. She hoped Paige wasn't in one of those horrible moods again but that looked like the case considering she had failed to answer any of Em's texts and snaps. Oh god not again. Emily couldn't deal with another several weeks of not talking. She asked her boss if she could finish early; said it was a family emergency. Paige was like family and this was an emergency. Her boss agreed as long as she'd make the hours up during the week. She thanked him and left in a hurry. Not knowing what was wrong with Paige was killing her. Practically running through town, she racked her brain for locations which Paige may be in. It had to be school, her pool, or the gym. If not then she had no idea.
She was officially out of breath when she reached the school lockers, a stitch forming in her side. No sign of anyone, let alone Paige. Her house was the next closest place to check. Emily continued to run, almost killing herself in the process. She knew as she went round the back way to Paige's pool that she would hear splashing or movement at least so wasn't overly disappointed when she got to the back to discover Paige wasn't there either. Emily could try the gym but then she would have no idea where to go next.
Luckily, Paige was at the gym. Boxing, in fact. Emily watched from a distance as Paige repeatedly pounded a punch bag. Whatever had made her angry was being used as fuel. Emily made the decision to wait outside until Paige was done blowing off steam because she did not want to end up like the punch bag.
"Get in. Please." Emily reluctantly got into Paige's car. "I have to talk to you and I'm sorry for not answering your texts and stuff."
"Paige, it's okay. Just please tell me what's going on."
"This morning- I- Look I genuinely didn't mean to burst in on you-"
"Paige if that's why you're upset then don't be. I'm not embarrassed or annoyed about it."
"But I am," said Paige as Emily looked at her. Emily's face was just sheer confusion until it hit her. Oh. Ohhh.
"Look. Is it because of..." Emily shifted closer to Paige and pulled her jumper up slightly whilst sliding her hand down her side over the hundreds of symmetrical, criss crossing, white marks, "...these?"
Paige flinched and pushed Emily's hand away. She nodded a little as she choked back tears. Emily took both of Paige's hands in hers, willing Paige to talk to her.
"Before I came out, I didn't know what to do. Everything I had ever known was changing and I had all of these feelings that I couldn't talk to anyone about. Not.. not even you, Em. I hated myself and this made me feel better. I'm so ashamed of it
"What changed?"
"After Ali..." Emily winced at the mention of her name, "...I realised I had to put things in perspective. You were in pieces but you kept on going and kept living life the way you're supposed to. I struggled to hide this from you but after all of that happened I looked to you for some sort of guidance and you did, unknowingly, help. I've never spoken about this before, Em. I couldn't deal with it."
Emily took Paige's head into her arms while she spoke softly to her. "As much as it upsets me that you felt you couldn't talk to me, I'm more upset that you went through this alone. Please please please talk to me if something bothers you or if you feel the need to resort to things like that. I want to be there for you, you're my best friend Paige. I need you so much. I don't want to wake up some day and find you hurting badly because you couldn't talk to me. No matter what it is, no matter how stupid you may think it is, please tell me. I will always try to help you."
Paige didn't say anything, she just held Emily in return.
