Original Publish Date: 2nd-October-2015


A/N: It's here! Chapter 4! And before we get started, may I just say THANK YOU! To everyone who has read/favorited/followed the story; but especially to you beautiful bastards who reviewed. My reviews more than trebled, my views actually did treble, and my visitors almost trebled. Therefore, chapter 4 is dedicated to the number 3!


Chapter 4 – Another One Bites the Dust

There are many ways you can hurt a man and bring him to the ground,

You can beat him, you can cheat him, you can treat him bad,

And leave him when he's down, yeah

But I'm ready, yes I'm ready for you

- Another One Bites the Dust, Queen


Nine Weeks Later: 4465617468

There are times, in the Village Hidden in the Leaves, when the atmosphere becomes lighter; when the whispered excitement brightens the mood, when the knowing glances raise the sense of occasion. These times usually occur once every two-and-a-half years, when the finals of the Chūnin exams roll around. Everyone, from Elite Jōnin and even the Hokage, to the greenest of greenhorn Genin and civilians understand the shifting atmosphere and look forward to it. It is, after all, a time of festivities and betting, and there is a carnival atmosphere that even the visiting dignitaries enjoy.

What the majority of the village population never realized is, such occasions take place far more often in their own village.

During the reign of the Shodaime Hokage, before any of the Shinobi World Wars had broken out; there was an unprecedented era of peace. Most of the villages were still being formed, and quite a few of the rivaling clans had joined the same village, so there were very few hostilities in between villages. But, they had all been born shinobi, and shinobi needed to fight to keep their skills sharp. Daily practice only did so much, and to prevent the majority from going stir-crazy, the Shodaime instituted what would later become the Jōnin Tournament.

Of course, the early edition was far removed from the underground affair it was today. When it was first conceived, it was mostly a Shinobi free-for-all battle that was open to the public; in fact, clients were invited to view these battles as a way to show off the strength of the village's shinobi. For people of that time, such open display of their techniques went against everything they had been taught while being raised in their respective clans; secrecy was paramount, because a single hidden technique might prove to be the difference between life and death. But the formation of a village was unprecedented, and so they all readily embraced this change.

Needless to say, the same tradition was carried on in what became the finals of the Chūnin exams.

And so did the other part of the free-for-all. The Chūnin exam fights were of course open to the public. But the Jōnin tournament was not.

The reason for this was very simple; after all, why would the village broadcast their strongest techniques and their strongest shinobi? That was just asking for trouble these days; any rival village could easily infiltrate them and devise counters for those techniques. Hence they decided to have the fights underground; a few at a time, so that daily missions were not compromised. The reason for having the tournament itself had remained the same from when it was first conceived; they needed to have a measurable target setter for their shinobi so that they all knew where they were lacking.

After all, nothing drives your weaknesses home like having your face smashed in with them.

And so, every year, the Jōnin tournaments are held in a seemingly abandoned part of the shinobi town. There are three decrepit and derelict looking buildings and nothing else around for almost a square kilometer, and there is a fairly strong genjutsu around the place that makes the hair rise on top of the head of whatever unfortunate soul goes nearby. If one ignores the initial feeling, it gets stronger and stronger the closer one goes to the building. The beauty of this genjutsu is that it attacks through the audio canal, so that even if you dispel it once, it immediately takes hold again. If one makes it to the front of the building on sheer guts alone, they start hyperventilating and a terrifying feeling takes hold in the pit of their stomach, and they are known to start hallucinating and screaming before running off entirely.

How else does one protect their ANBU headquarters after all?

The Jōnin tournament itself is held in the main building of the ANBU; it is open to all shinobi of Tokubetsu Jōnin rank and above – this includes unmasked ANBU and full-fledged Jōnins too, of course. The fights are refereed by ANBU captains and the higher ranked Jōnins, and as they liked to say, their word was law.

It was from the first building that I exited, blinking at the sudden glare of the sunlight. After the minimum lighting in the ANBU facility (where the only route that was lit up was the way in / out to the fighting arena – probably to keep the secrets of the black-ops barracks, you know, secret) even the softer luminosity of evening enough to hurt my eyelids. Nearby a hidden ANBU agent ran a disruption technique over me to prevent the genjutsu from taking hold; but he or she needn't have bothered. Genjutsu were not a problem for me; as my last opponent, one Morino Ibiki had found out to his detriment.

I had been assigned the Tokubetsu Jōnin rank by the Sandaime, to start with; he said he would revisit that decision at the end of the tournament. But it did mean that I would start out at the very bottom of the chain, and would have to go through two preliminary rounds. Full Jōnin went directly into the draw, and a handful privileged few who had been granted the Elite Jōnin rank were given the option of being 'wildcard' entries. While on the surface this may appear to be favoritism toward the upper ranked shinobi, it was actually a way of coaxing them into the tournament. The whole point of the tournament was to raise the quality of the individual shinobi, and the best way to do that was by teaching them new techniques and tactics; and the best way for that was to ensure that the best shinobi took part in the tournament. Unfortunately, certain highly ranked shinobi found the whole idea of a tournament to be rather troublesome, and would rather pursue other activities – such as reading porn, watching clouds, eating anything and everything in sight, for example. Hence the special privileges; only they didn't really work.

I had to say I was disappointed by the competition as a whole so far. I suppose it was because it was peacetime; while people were in fighting shape, they weren't at their very best; they lacked that edge, that gleam in their eye that came with the knowledge and the confidence of knowing they were fighting for their lives and they were going to win.

Or maybe I had been fighting a war for too long.

My first opponent had been a recent recruit to the ANBU, and she had relied mostly on her tantõ with some taijutsu thrown in. While she had been no slouch, I dispatched her speedily; daily training with Lee for over a year and a half allowing me to pick apart her style with ease. After I won my second fight I hung around and watched some of the other fights, some of which were disappointingly straightforward. I was beginning to realize why it was only the later fights that drew most of the attention. Still, gathering intel on possible future opponents was hardly going to be a complete waste of time.

But a hard day of work deserved a reward, which is why I was heading to Ichiraku's for a bowl of Ambrosia. I smiled as I recalled the first time I had gone to the ramen stand since my trip back in time; it had been right after the old man had given me that stupid mask and the dumb name (which still took me a second to react to). Teuchi had been as welcoming as ever, giving me a free bowl as this was the first time (to his knowledge) that I had eaten there. The simple harmony between him and Ayame as they worked was a joy to watch, and it brought a true smile to my face. To protect the small and simple happiness in life; this was why I would fight.

As I ate my ramen, I pondered on my training. It had taken me nearly a month before I could say I was in any kind of fighting shape; my chakra reserves were now a quarter of what they had been and they were not re-filling anywhere near as fast as they used to. I would have to change my entire fighting style, and that was going to be a bitch. It made me miss the grumpy old fox again, and it wasn't just for the added benefits. I couldn't believe what I was about to say, but it was true.

Not being a jinchūriki sucked.

Of course, if I had been given a choice as a child of being a hated figure among the village populace for something beyond my control; I would obviously have chosen not to be one. But having gone through the systematic isolation from the villagers (and being ignored for the most part by my tenant) when I finally made the breakthrough it had been a thing of beauty. I had won over the villagers and even the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox, the Lord of the Demons. I was on the cusp of attaining peace with the Elemental Nations, about to fulfil the prophecy that both the Toads and the Fox believed in.

And then Sasuke ruined it all.

There was no way I was going to let that little fucker just walk around. If it was up to me I would have gouged out his eyes and replaced them with his balls. (On an unrelated note, in my own time, that was the method used to kill the body of one Uchiha Sasuke.) But the old man had asked for a little time before deciding what to do with the deranged psychopath, and I was not going to be patient for very long. I would revisit the conversation once this tournament was over.

Speaking of the tournament, I had a day off tomorrow. I estimated that I was at about two-thirds of my new fighting capacity. I was still getting used to my new recovery rates; still, I would need to step it up a notch during training tomorrow, because I had realized that this tournament was more or less a formal ranking test of my abilities. Why did I know this for sure?

My next opponent was Hatake Kakashi.


2 Days Later

I was nervous as I waited in the arena. This would be the first time I saw Kakashi-sensei since he had been killed that fateful day of the war. I had no idea how to react to him; he had been killed defending me from my father's Hiraishin. I wish it was one of the cases where I never had the chance to thank him for everything he had done for me; unfortunately Orochimaru had other ideas. Within a week I was fighting an undead Kakashi, emotionally trying to say goodbye to him while he tried his hardest to kill me through his tears. It was a sick strategy, but an effective one; what better way to demoralize troops than forcing them to fight their own comrades?

My musings were cut short by the sudden arrival of Kakashi, who was surprisingly on time. I could not stop the feeling of regret that rose in my chest as I looked at him. In return though, I only found cold calculating eyes that were busy cataloguing everything about my appearance and trying to understand my fighting style from that. I forced myself out of my funk. This was not the time or place for distractions. I had avoided people from my past so far, but living in the village as I was that was not going to be a long term option; and what better place to start than the present?

As soon as I steeled myself I saw that Kakashi push up his headband, proving that he was not taking me lightly. As soon as I caught sight of the red that made up the Sharingan my body unconsciously fell into the stances that were designed to throw off that damned eye. The Sharingan was a powerful tool, but it had its weaknesses. The best two ways to negate its advantages were either attack with enough speed that the user could not keep up, or mix up your taijutsu style; tense one arm but attack with the other, make to jump but make an entirely different movement. As was the case with most of my discoveries, I had found this entirely by accident. Lee and I had spent the next year and a half training to come up with the perfect taijutsu counter to the Sharingan.

Lee was the next person who I was forced to fight in Edo Tensei mode.

During my musing, the proctor started the match and Kakashi made to take advantage of my distraction. As he made to attack me with a sweeping fist I tensed my arm as if to block and my back leg as if to absorb the blow; then I struck out with the aforementioned leg and nailed him in the solar plexus. A clean hit, the perfect counterattack.

I knew Kakashi well enough to catch the widening of his eyes in shock. and if the muttering in the gallery around the fighting area was any indication, they were shocked as well. I smiled. There was something else I had added to my repertoire over the years. It was time to use it.

"Surprised? I think you'll find you need something a lot stronger than a little pink-eye to impress me."

Trash-talking. It was surprisingly effective, not to mention it came naturally to me. It was probably something to do with my nature as a prankster, knowing what buttons to push on people to get them riled up. Insulting Obito's final gift to Kakashi was probably a good way to get under his skin. And if the way his eyes narrowed at that was any indication, I had succeeding with both my first strikes, physical and aural.

He chose not to respond, however, and made to move when he suddenly stopped. That might have had something to do with the kunai that had suddenly appeared at his jugular, however. My perfectly created (seal-less and smokeless) Kage Bunshin continued the dialogue, "What, no snappy comeback? The man who copied a thousand jutsu couldn't copy a few clichéd villainous lines? Urk!" the clone gurgled as it was viciously dispelled courtesy of a kunai to the throat.

"Good job with the timing creating the clone. It was in the same moment when you struck me in the chest right?" I nodded, impressed at his deduction and he continued, "You can't seem to control them very well though."

"Oh? Are you sure he didn't do exactly what I wanted him to do?"

His eyes narrowed, then widened as the sound of a sizzling exploding tag on his vest reached his ears. With impressive speed he managed to shimmy out of his vest and hurled it at me while jumping in the opposite direction. I had been expecting this and used a simple Kawarimi (Substitution) to get out the way, whereas Kakashi was attacked by a few clones using taijutsu. He was expecting them this time however, and made short work of them.

"So you can deal with exploding tags and Kage Bunshin. Impressive. I'm sure you will be a big hit at the next Chūnin exams."

Yeah, he was definitely pissed now. Mission accomplished. Although…what was the point of that again? He quickly formed handseals and called out, "Raiton: Raikyu (Lightning Release: Lightning Ball)!" The amount of chakra pushed into the technique as well as the speed it was shooting towards me was an indication of how pissed he was.

Now, we couldn't have that could we?

In response, I reared my fist back, gathering wind chakra around it as I did so. A moment later I let my fist fly forward, calling out, "Kazeken (Wind Fist)!" A fist formed of wind chakra followed the trajectory my hand would have taken had it not been attached to my body, and it met the Raiton technique in midair.

Both techniques fizzled out.

Kakashi's eyes narrowed as he saw both techniques disappear. He knew that I had intended that to be the result; Fūton beats Raiton after all. So far I had kept him on the back foot by goading him into attacking first, and counterattacking where he least expected it. I would let him try one more technique before taking the initiative. Having trained under him, and recalling the bell test perfectly, I knew that having already used Taijutsu and Ninjutsu, next he would use Genjutsu.

I was right. I felt the buildup of chakra before he forced it around his Sharingan eye, causing it to spin ominously. I felt the genjutsu settle down on my senses, before the seal that I grafted on my Seimon (the Gate of Life) above my spinal cord disrupted it. Kakashi wasn't to know that however, and he immediately made a Kage Bunshin of his own and they moved in tandem to attack me with kunai. As soon as they got within striking range I released the wind chakra I had gathered in each arm in the form of Fūton: Jūha Shō (Wind Release: Beast Wave Palm). The clone was destroyed, but to Kakashi's credit he spun to avoid taking damage and landed a kick on my upper arm. I backpedaled to avoid taking more damage but having been on the front foot for the first time in the match Kakashi pressed his advantage. Hastily dodging his kunai swipes I managed to draw in my breath, "Fūton: Toppa (Wind Release: Breakthrough)!"

He leapt away to avoid being hit by the bullet of wind, but it had served its purpose. I couldn't engage him in a long taijutsu battle, my tricks to negate the Sharingan's advantage only worked as long as the user relied on the dōjutsu to fight. Knowing Kakashi he would not make the same mistake twice, and in a taijutsu battle I would most likely lose out, which is why I needed to put some distance between us. Since Taijutsu was out, and not being a proficient user of genjutsu that just left ninjutsu and weapons and my secret weapon for me to continue. I started with the first two as I began the process of corralling Kakashi into a specific point on the arena floor. "Fūton: Shinkūgyoku (Wind Release: Vacuum Spheres)!" I called out as I shot several wind bullets in a pattern that looked random but would force Kakashi to move in the direction I wanted him to go, but he proved that he was an A-rank ninja as he called out, "Katon: Hōsenka no Jutsu (Fire Release: Phoenix Sage Fire Technique)!" Like my attack earlier, his fire perfectly burned each one of my wind bullets, with no leftovers; most likely making a point. So he was not above petty showmanship either, good to know. I could use this to my advantage.

Suddenly switching tactics, I shot towards him with a kunai in hand and a vague half formed plan in my mind. Relishing the change of pace he too shot towards me, flicking a kunai and dispelling the clone I had created in his blind spot without as much as moving his eyes. We locked in a fierce battle of the limbs, neither of us holding back our punches. Block and counter block, our limbs moved quickly through the minimal distance between us as we both sought an advantage in the physical battle. I took a few more hits than he did, but by now I was dodging in a way that made sure he was being maneuvered. Like before, once more I drew in my breath and shot out a Fūton: Toppa (Wind Release: Breakthrough). Like before, Kakashi leapt away and landed exactly where I hoped he would; he had chosen a different direction to dodge than before, but I knew him well enough from my youth to accurately guess what he would do and my decision was vindicated.

Unlike before, this time I locked eyes with his Sharingan as I molded my chakra, which once more started spinning ominously. For the first time in the match, I started forming handseals a tad slower than I normally would, hoping against hope. 'Come on, take the bait. Yes!' I thought as he immediately started copying my handseals, appearing to move a fraction faster than I did. He tried locking me in a genjutsu again, but it was pointless; the seal on my Seimon saw to that.

I couldn't help the vicious grin on my face as I slammed both palms on the ground and watched Kakashi copy my actions, "Fūinjutsu: Chikaku Banpaia-in (Sealing Technique: Earthen Vampire Seal)!" I called out. Raw shock showed on Kakashi's face as he frantically looked around for the three characteristic seals surrounding him. Had he jumped away immediately he might have stood a chance, but now it was too late; by his expression I could tell he knew his chakra was being drained faster than you could say 'kunai'. Confusion warred across his eyes and I decided to tell him how I had beaten him. "Burrowing clones," I called out and he locked eyes with me. I couldn't read the expression in them, but I couldn't help myself from taunting him like I had throughout the match; I raised a hand and mockingly waved at him, "Night-night, Copycat!"

Kakashi passed out, his body having been drained of chakra, and the proctor called out "Shousha, Nanashi!" Thunderous applause burst out from the viewing gallery as I looked up and realized that the number of attendees was far higher than I had originally estimated. My hand went up to rub the back of my head sheepishly as I fought the urge to wildly celebrate. I caught the eye of the Hokage and he nodded, silently congratulating me on my victory. I gave a grin and a slight bow as I made my way from the arena, content at having kicked my former sensei's ass. As far as I was concerned, he had deserved it.

As I left the building I mentally started ticking off, 'I had tonkotsu ramen yesterday, so today I'll have miso ramen…'


2 Days Later, Jōnin Tournament Finals: Viewing Gallery

Hatake Kakashi was a man who was well known for being tardy. He was also well known for a lot of other things such as being a damn good ninja, flauntingly reading the Icha Icha series in public, but it was the laziness which was his hallmark. Nobody ever expected him to be on time, because he was a good three hours late every single time. It was quite a common joke among the shinobi populace that Kakashi would literally be late for his own funeral.

It was therefore quite a surprise when Kakashi entered the ANBU headquarters a good 15 minutes before the final fight started.

Kakashi lazily swept his eye over the gathering, trying to ignore the amused stares and muttering; there were even a few pointing fingers at him. He moved to a corner near the balcony overlooking the fighting area, hoping that the idle chatter surrounding the perennial latecomer would die down. After another minute or so, however, he actually heard someone mutter "Do you think he's turned over a new leaf?"

'Now that just won't do' Kakashi thought to himself. To discourage that very hope before it took root, he did the other thing that he was infamous for. He pulled out a volume of the finest literature written by the finest shinobi Konoha had to offer, the brightly orange covered book Icha Icha.

And just like that, within a few seconds, everyone went back to whatever they were doing before he entered.

'Me? On time? That will be the day' Kakashi's lips twitched under his mask as he started reading, studiously ignoring the fact he actually was on time. A perverted giggle escaped him soon after. 'Oho, Aiko-chan, you naughty girl.'

He felt someone walk up to him, and just as the other man was about to speak, Kakashi beat him to the punch without turning his head. "Ah, Ibiki-san. You're here to watch as well?"

Ibiki only let a minor flash of irritation show across his face. He had known Kakashi too well for too long to be disgruntled by how the man always seemed to know who was behind him, even with though he had just one uncovered eye. "Of course. Given who he's fighting, I wasn't about to miss the show."

"Is that the only reason? No sadistic pleasure stemming from the fact that he beat you?" Kakashi replied without missing a beat, his voice completely toneless, belying the fact that he was trying to get a rise out of the interrogator.

Ibiki, however merely raised an eyebrow. "Didn't he beat you as well? In the last round?"

Kakashi simply turned the page of his novel. "He caught me by surprise", he admitted evenly.

Ibiki's other eyebrow rose. Catching a man like Kakashi off guard was not something that happened frequently. In fact, he could count the number of times it had happened in the last 5 years on a single hand. The man was an A-rank, borderline S-rank shinobi for a damn good reason.

Kakashi himself had shrugged off the loss. He didn't enjoy losing, no shinobi did; but at least he had completed the mission he had been assigned….

/*Flashback: Hokage's office, Ten Days ago*/

Kakashi had not been expecting this when the Hokage had asked him to his office. In fact, when Sarutobi had performed the privacy seals with a grave businesslike expression he had been pretty sure he was being assigned an S-rank mission. This was not something he would ever have expected to be asked. After pondering it for a few moments, he spoke.

"I refuse. Those fights are pointless for me", he said in his usual lazy drawl. He contemplated taking out his book. This was not something he had a problem taking a stand on.

Sarutobi, having expected this exact reaction, merely pushed a piece of paper towards him. Inspite of his apparent disinterest, Kakashi picked it up. It was a long diagram of the contestants in the tournament and their matchups, right up to the finals. Kakashi noted, with some mild annoyance, that the Hokage had already placed his name in one of the blocks.

"Direct your attention towards contestant number sixty-six" Sarutobi said, taking out his pipe and his tobacco pouch.

Kakashi pondered the name and followed the probable path of the contestant, taking note of the likely opponents he would face. After a couple of minutes, he raised his eyes to the Hokage, who was by now puffing away on his pipe, but looking straight at Kakashi. "So who is he? An ANBU you want tested?" Kakashi asked, his casual voice belying his piqued interest.

"A long term sleeper agent I decided to reactivate. He's only just returned to the village. I want to see what he's capable of."

'And you most certainly will if he gets through even half of these people' Kakashi thought to himself. "It does unbalance the rest of the tournament, of course" he said blandly.

Sarutobi puffed on his pipe. "I would consider it a favour if you entered the tournament", the old man ignored his statement entirely, his eyes still trained on the Elite Jōnin, where they had been ever since he had walked in the door.

Kakashi's interest was now well and truly stoked. He realized that the old man could just as easily have ordered him to enter the tournament. In fact, it was an order, albeit coated in the veneer of a favour; it gave that much more gravity to the request.

Kakashi let his eyes drop down to the sheet in his hands once more. "Do you really believe that he would make it as far as the semi-finals?" Kakashi asked, sidestepping the Hokage's request for the moment. The semi-finals would be where they would meet, if they both won their respective blocks. It was quite a valid question, as Kakashi knew nearly all the people that the unknown entrant would be facing, and none of them were pushovers.

For the first time since the meeting had started, the Hokage smiled. "Of course, I would not be making this request of you otherwise. He claims to be at Jōnin level, but I need more proof than his mere word."

Kakashi raised his eyes, having made up his mind. "Very well."

The smile the Hokage gave him should have been a warning about what was to follow.

/*Flashback End*/

Kakashi had a sneaking suspicion that the Hokage knew that he would be beaten. Of course, there was no way to prove it, but he couldn't help but feel as if he had been played somehow. But in any case, it didn't matter now. Atleast he had obtained a favour from the Hokage out of the whole deal. That counted for something.

He hadn't even realized he was not paying any attention to his book whatsoever. His lone eye was wandering, noting the quite large number of attendees for the event. Of course, having not attended for the last few years he had no idea what the sample size for such an event was these days. But it seemed a fair bet to say that nearly all the off duty shinobi were here for the fight, even the ANBU.

They were all broken into groups, and from the few scattered conversations he was able to pick up it seemed that almost none of them knew who the masked stranger was, or what all his capabilities were. Therefore it was quite natural that almost all the people who had fought him over the course of the tournament were at the center of most of these groups. Kakashi idly wondered why he wasn't, before realizing that between his orange book and Ibiki's intimidating presence, very few shinobi would have the nerve to actually walk up to them.

And if he wasn't mistaken, one of those few was walking up to them that very moment. The rather distinctive smell of lingering cigarette smoke made it very easy to identify him. "Asuma", Kakashi said in his usual drawl, his eye having dropped back to his literature. Ibiki nodded to the newcomer as well, who merely 'Hm'd' in greeting.

They all stood in amiable silence for a few moments, before it was surprisingly broken by Kakashi. "So, have you heard of him?" It was quite obvious, even to the newly arrived Asuma, who Kakashi was talking about.

Ibiki shook his head. "No, and that is….troubling" he spoke in his dry gravelly 'work' voice that unconsciously put everyone's guard up. 'The perfect voice for his chosen profession', Kakashi idly thought. An unknown powerful shinobi with no known background set off all the red flags in Ibiki's book. His work dovetailed with Intelligence after all, and this guy was a prime candidate for causing trouble.

"I heard Hokage-sama is keeping an eye on him personally." Asuma's distinctive throaty voice made itself known. "Didn't the two of you fight him?"

Ibiki nodded, before looking at Kakashi, who shrugged. Kakashi had gotten over the fact that he had lost, but still felt a small stab of embarrassment, which he ruthlessly crushed. He knew that they were not trying to get a rise out of him, but trying to get more information. "His Taijutsu is quite good, but not nearly as good as his Ninjutsu; he seems to have mastered Fūton manipulation. Surprisingly though he seems to specialize in Fūinjutsu. He didn't use any Genjutsu at all."

Ibiki nodded. "He seems immune to genjutsu as well. I hit him with some of my more powerful contact illusions and he shrugged them off like flies." Kakashi actually let his book down and stared with a wide eye at Ibiki at THAT little nugget. The Morino clan was not a numerous one, but that wasn't to say that they were weak. They were famous for their niche genjutsu, ones that required actual physical contact. Once someone was caught in it they could not escape by the normal genjutsu dispelling techniques, but until the instigator of the technique performed the required handseals, they were stuck. The kicker was, the illusions were more suited to interrogation situations, but worked just as well on the field. Most shinobi would not think twice before engaging the enemy in taijutsu, and a single touch was enough to leave them screaming in imagined torture. Of course, in the field that left them wide open and very dead.

Kakashi processed this for a moment, reaching a conclusion, then spoke in his slow drawl, "My Sharingan genjutsu had no effect on him either." Ibiki returned the flabbergasted look Kakashi had given him moments earlier. He shrugged again and continued, "Given his specialization I'm inclined to suspect that Fūinjutsu is involved somehow."

Asuma once more 'Hm'd' before speaking. "Well, looks like your techniques are useless then Ibiki." Ibiki's eyes narrowed and the shadows moved to make his face look more terrifying than it was. He didn't like being told that his techniques were pointless; in his line of work, that got people killed. Asuma continued, looking towards Kakashi (a small reason for that being Ibiki still had his scary interrogator face on). "But I was surprised to hear you lost rather quickly. You're one of the top Jōnin around."

Kakashi's book was nowhere in sight at this point. The unknown shinobi was now someone who he officially was interested in. "He was ready for me and my techniques. He's not someone to be underestimated, that's for sure. What I am interested in is how he deals with this challenge."

Ibiki let out a terrifying smile. "She hasn't been let out for any missions for a while; she's been itching to cut loose."

Kakashi looked at Ibiki with an amused smile; 'A nice guy like Morino Ibiki feeling bitter over a single loss? Log be damned!'


Down in the arena: 4465617468

When the semi-final rounds were announced, most people in Konoha (those in the know) would have expected the final round to be Hatake Kakashi vs. Maito Gai.

Instead, they would be treated to the spectacle of a literally nameless shinobi against Mitarashi Anko.

I had forgone visiting the other semifinal, assuming that I would be facing Gai in the final and had prepared accordingly. I had been astonished to hear that Gai had lost; the grapevine said that he later claimed it was due to 'unyouthful tactics.' Having had a vivid personal encounter with the 'Scary Snake Lady' during my Chūnin exams was enough to let me guess what those tactics entailed. I mentally tallied up what I knew about the woman; Tokubetsu Jōnin in rank, former apprentice of Orochimaru, hence a snake summoner and probably a ninjutsu specialist, had a boisterous personality, liked to use mind games to mess with people's heads, skilled in torture, interrogation and intelligence gathering. So overall, a less violent but probably more insane version of Orochimaru; considering that I had beaten Orochimaru silly I should have this in the bag. She may have been the apprentice of the Snake Sannin, but in my own way I could be considered the apprentice of all three of the Sannin.

As I noticed that the Hokage had taken his place, there was a sudden explosion of smoke in the middle of the floor. A few fireworks shot out through the smoke and formed the letters 'Winner: Mitarashi Anko!' As they continued to crackle I could vaguely recall Kakashi-sensei berating me for doing the exact same thing on a mission, saying that the only thing that made me good for was target practice. I seriously considered attacking just to piss her off, but one look at the exasperated proctor was enough to put me off. He would probably disqualify me just for pissing him off even further before the match started.

As the smoke cleared I got my first look at the self-proclaimed 'Sexy and Single' Mitarashi Anko. Her violet-hair was done up in a short, spiky, fanned-ponytail; she had her trademark beige trenchcoat on along with a full body mesh suit. A short, orange skirt and a pair of shin-guards completed her appearance. Her hand was rubbing her head in a manner not too dissimilar to my own as she let out a sheepish chuckle. "Ahaha…I let off the wrong fireworks" she said. The her eye gained a gleam as she looked at me and let out a chilling smile that sent shudders down my spine. "They were supposed to go off at the end of the match."

I blinked. Then an involuntary smile spread across my face as my mouth went off, having found its cue, "Darling, I'm glad you thought that our first meeting should be accompanied by fireworks, but I hate to tell you…you're just not my type."

Her chilling smile gained a mischievous quality as she let her hands rest on her hips, before slowly tracing them across the mesh and raising them until she was cupping her breasts. In a husky voice she breathed out, "Are you sure about that?"

My eyes, like the eyes of every other male in that arena (I'm sure that included the Hokage) were locked on her…hands. I literally had to wrench my face to raise my eyes; and for the first time in a while I actually had to force my brain to think up a comeback. After a second, I raised my palm and tilted it in a 'so-so' gesture. "I've seen better."

"Oh?" she sensually licked her lips. "Sounds like my kind of woman."

Well, shit. My brain went numb; lost in the imagery that sentence evoked. Touché. She grinned at her verbal victory and let her hands drop to her sides. "Now that we're done with foreplay, shall we move on to…heavy petting?"

"But you haven't even bought me dinner," I faux-protested, but I had already lost the round; and the mocking smile she threw me showed that she knew it as well. The proctor visibly shook himself, then raised a hand. "Final round, Tokubetsu Jōnin Nanashi vs Tokubetsu Jōnin Mitarashi Anko, hajime!"

I braced myself for a taijutsu barrage, but I was instead shocked by a sudden rainfall of steel headed my way. I dodged and looked back only to find most of them vanishing as soon as they hit the ground/wall; Shuriken Kage Bunshin then. Well, I had something better. Before I managed to land I created three clones in midair. "Go nuts guys."

They speedily moved towards the snake summoner with kunai in their fists, as I dropped off to observe for a moment. Despite the fact that she was outnumbered she did not appear at any moment to be overwhelmed. While her snake-style taijutsu was similar to Orochimaru's, he favored strength over speed; she preferred short vicious strikes that were almost too fast to dodge. After a few exchanged blows she twisted around one of the clones' strikes and dispelled it with a kunai through the eye, before flexibly using an overextended fist from another as a stepping stone and leapt into the air. "Sen'eijashu (Hidden Shadow Snake Hands)" she called out as snakes extended from her hands and dispelled the clone she had as a springboard; as she landed she bent over backwards, appearing not to have a spine, to avoid being decapitated and in the same movement raised a foot and slammed it into the throat of the last clone.

Damn.

She spun the kunai around her finger as she called out, "Is that all you've got, shitstain?"

Well. Well well. The grin on her face as she called out her challenge was a very familiar one; it spoke of a challenge to overcome, of limits to be pushed and broken, of a battle to be relished. It took me a moment to realize just where I had seen that grin before; once I did, I felt goosebumps run down my arm as I cracked my neck and took up my stance.

"Let's go wild lady!" I exclaimed as I felt my old grin light up my face as if it had never left.


Viewing Gallery: Hatake Kakashi, Sarutobi Asuma and Morino Ibiki

"Holy shit!" Asuma exclaimed as he witnessed the terrifying brutality with which she took down the clones. Kakashi felt sure that if he had been smoking the cigarette would have dropped from his mouth; not that he had any room to poke fun, his own vice had been in his back pouch ever since they had taken their place in the arena. Ibiki's smile gained a sinister edge and Kakashi felt a thrill run down his spine. The violence had barely lasted ten-adrenaline filled seconds, and yet it had got everyone's blood pumping. It seemed like this fight would be one for the record books.

'Come on you two, show me what you're capable of' Kakashi thought.


Viewing Gallery: Sarutobi Hiruzen

'He certainly was not overestimating his skills'. The thought was transitory, the mind of the Third Hokage quickly readjusting to the battle below, a wry grin on his face as he watched Nanashi match Anko blow for blow. Although he had thought the blond would be at least a little intimidated by Anko's initial dispatching of his shadow clones, the young woman as skilled and as fluid as her sensei's namesake; but it seemed to only fire up the time traveler. He watched in great interest as the two sized each other up before dashing towards the other, each retrieving a kunai into their right hands and lashing out accordingly as they drew closer. The metal knives clashed against each other, both of them trembling against the other as the force each shinobi was putting into their attack was enough to strain the durability of the steel.

Sarutobi wasn't the only one excited either. The fight audience, which to that point had been more or less silent from each shinobi's opening attacks had now begun to act like overly excited academy students, cheering and taunting the two competitors as if it was some sort of game. It was an irony of sorts considering it was a stadium full of shinobi; supposedly the silent dealers of death. Rather strange, in every respect.

'Looks like they're about to step it up a notch' Sarutobi thought; eagerly awaiting the spectacle to follow.


Arena: 4465617468

Our respective attack speeds had escalated as we traded blows in close quarters; as did our inherent risk taking. As soon as I saw an opening I dropped my kunai and grabbed her arm, yanking it hard to try and dislocate it before attempting to break it across my knee. For my troubles I received a gash in the cheek by her kunai, splitting the mask apart. As soon as I tried to break her arm though she twisted out of my grasp and tried the back-flip kick to the throat that had taken out my clone a few minutes ago; I had learned what to expect though and bent backwards to avoid the blow.

She did another backflip after a single handstand and put some distance between us. As she looked at me she brought up the kunai to her face and lewdly licked off my blood coating it. Her voice went back to the same husky tone from earlier as she said, "Mmm, you taste good, nameless wonder. I'll have to get more of that." A piercing whistle came out of the piercing gallery at that.

The shudder that ran down my spine at that statement was not entirely unpleasant. My mouth decided it was time for round two. "Does that mean you're free tonight, hot stuff?" There was more whistling and cheering at that; the crowd evidently enjoying the tête-à-tête as much as the fighting.

Her grin widened, "Of course. The things I'm going to do to your balls after I cut them off…" she let off a very suggestive moan at the thought.

Unlike earlier, this time there were no mixed feelings about my shudder. The howls that came from the stadium crowd informed me that I had lost round two of the verbal spar. Somehow that annoyed me more than if I was losing the battle proper. Desperate to take the initiative (and maybe a little because I wanted to swipe that smirk off her face) I called out "What say we move on from heavy petting to…the hardcore stuff?"

She gave a final lick to the kunai and idly asked, "What did you have in mind?"

'Time to show off' I thought to myself with a smirk of my own. In quick succession, with my left hand I threw two objects straight up, the second one impacting the first as soon as it reached the apex of its trajectory. I saw her tense her leg muscles, ready to dodge; but then stop in confusion as she made out the objects hanging in midair. One was an ordinary plastic half-liter bottle of water, and the other was the kunai piercing it, causing it to leak its contents. Locking my eyes on to her face, because I wanted to memorize her expression, and my left arm still raised, I called out with great satisfaction, "Suiton: Suiryūdan no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Dragon Bullet Technique)!"

I could feel the jaws dropping around the arena I performed a 44 hand-seal technique with no visible hand-seals whatsoever. Not to mention that the tiny half liter of water had turned into a full sized dragon made of water; it could not have been any larger had it been made on top of a river. The dragon head let out a roar as it shot towards Anko; who, to her credit, had only gaped at the sudden technique for a moment before jumping heavily to avoid said technique. Her eyes bulged and expression turned to one of disbelief as the technique maneuvered to follow her. She twisted to avoid it, but was only partially successful as the technique clipped her, causing her to spin around.

Right into my fist. As her head snapped back, disorienting her I pushed my advantage, immediately striking at her shoulder and sternum before attempting to knee her in the stomach. She had recovered by then and with a cough raised her arms to block my knee and pushed me back. As I regained my balance she spat blood in my eye and charged forward as I flinched, landing an elbow in my face and a vicious uppercut to my chin that caused my neck to snap backwards with a horrible cracking sound that rang throughout the arena, even with the cheering from the stands, casing me to dispel.

With almost perfect timing, as I received the memories from the clone, I leapt from beneath the earth intent on landing an uppercut of my own. However, the split second made the difference as she had already leapt into the air, throwing two kunai towards me and yelling out "Kunai Kage Bunshin!" With a wrench of raw Fūton chakra I ungainly changed directions in midair and landed in a heavy crouch with a huge grin on my face. 'I haven't had a fun spar like this in forever! Man, I wish I had gotten to fight with her before.' I thought to myself.

All of a sudden, I had to lean back to avoid another Anko, likely the original, leaping from beneath the earth to land another uppercut. I back-flipped out of her reach in a move reminiscent of her own; but this was exactly what she had been waiting for. "Sen'eijashu (Hidden Shadow Snake Hands)!" she called out victoriously as a bunch of snakes streamed from her sleeves and shot towards me, quickly wrapping around my body and hissing ominously. I mentally berated myself for letting my guard down during the fight and letting myself get caught up in the heat of the moment. We weren't pulling any punches either; a single moment of distraction had proven disastrous. Outwardly, however, I remained calm and let my mouth take over.

"Somehow I knew you would be into bondage." Her smirk disappeared and the crowd roared its approval; whether at my capture or at my barb I didn't know. I decided to own it either way. "What, no whips and chains for your glorious moment? Why not a leather cat-suit; the ensemble you have on is practically a dominatrix outfit already." There was more cheering at that; this round definitely went to me. Considering her frown, she knew it too.

She squeezed the snakes binding me tighter and said ominously, "Give up now, shitstain; my snakes are already hungry. I'd hate it if one of them decided to take a bite out of you." The snakes hissed ominously, completing a rather scary effect. Too bad I had been exposed to worse.

"Interesting choice. How about I offer you another one instead? Fūton or Raiton?"

She narrowed her eyes, noting that my arms were bound by my sides and therefore unable to make hand-seals. I smirked and called out, "Raiton: Jibashi (Lightning Release: Electromagnetic Murder)!" She gave me a flat, unimpressed look; on that immediately changed to horror as lightning poured down my right arm and shocked her snakes, shocking her by conduction as well. She dispelled them at once, but didn't realize that she was standing in a puddle from my earlier Suiryūdan technique; a fact she was shockingly reminded of when she was electrocuted.

She leapt away, her hair frazzled and a murderous expression on her face. She had taken too many heavy hits; by comparison I had only been briefly captured. Understandably she had lost her cool at this point. "I'm going to fucking cut your balls off shitstain!" She bit into one of her singed hands and started forming a very familiar set of handseals.

I frantically searched my pockets, still not used to which pocket had which item on this outfit; until I finally located the scroll I had meticulously prepared. Hoping I was not too late I unfurled it quickly and slammed it into the ground, pouring way too much chakra into it in my haste. Simultaneous cries rang out around the arena, "Kuchiyose no jutsu (Summoning Technique)!" and "Fūinjutsu: Jigenseisokuka Kangekihi-in (Sealing Technique: Dimensional Void Seal)!" and all vision was obscured by the cloud from our techniques.

'Please tell me it worked in time' I mentally prayed as I waited for the smoke to clear. Since I didn't have my own summons, dealing with one from an opponent would have been a bitch. It would have made the battle significantly harder, and I wasn't sure I could keep the Hiraishin a secret if I would have to fight two high-level opponents at the same time. I could always lose, but hey, fuck that.

As the smoke finally cleared I finally got a look at Anko and breathed a sigh of relief. She was surrounded by what appeared to be worms, but were actually tiny snakes wriggling around in the dirt. At the sight of her twitching eye my mouth went off again "You must be a big hit at children's parties!" Her hands started clenching uncontrollably and I had no doubts that she was imagining throttling me. "I'm sure that if a bunch of academy students got together and tried really hard they would manage to do the exact same thing." The howls of laughter from the stands were music to my ears. Nanashi's mouth 2, Anko 2. Even though I had basically been kicking her ass for the second half of the fight, it was only now that I felt in control.

"What did you do?" she bit out through clenched teeth, and I wasn't sure whether her twitching was a remnant of my Raiton technique or her losing her cool. Either way, it was hilarious to see.

"Hmm, I don't know if I should tell you. You've not been very nice to the new guy." She took a half-step forward, expression absolutely murderous and I called out in an annoying sing song voice "Fine, fine, don't wrinkle your dominatrix outfit." The snickers from the peanut gallery nearly caused her to attack anyway, but she visibly held herself back. After letting the chuckles die away I said "I temporarily neutralized our link to the summon plane."

I could hear some confusion from the stands, but it was clear Anko knew what I was talking about. Being the apprentice to the most infamous traitor Konoha had ever seen, especially one who was obsessed with every technique, she knew enough of the inner workings of the summoning technique. Most shinobi just provide the blood and perform the hand-seals without knowing what they meant, but I had studied the Fūinjutsu behind every hand-seal and understood how it worked; therefore I knew how to disrupt it.

I could see her raise her opinion of me, albeit grudgingly, but she looked like she was actually considering if further fighting would be to her benefit. I gave it another moment to see if she followed through with that thought and gave up.

It was at that moment that one of the tiny snakes tried to crawl up her leg. And failed. Probably because it was too weak. She looked at it for a long moment, and then looked up at me and I knew there would be no victory by forfeit today; in fact, I would very shortly be fighting for my life. She completely lost her shit as she flew towards me, screaming out "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Replication Technique)!" She recklessly attacked me with no semblance of form and barely a moment's thought to defense; unfortunately for me it was working. I had not fought an opponent with such criminal disregard for their own safety in years; she was very close to overwhelming me. Not to mention the crazed bloodlust in her eyes was actually freaking me out. Usually I goaded people into losing their cool because they made mistakes; she was one of the few exceptions to the rule because she was a berserker.

Right before she got in what would surely be a critical hit, I threw a kunai with an explosive tag right at her feet. She had enough sense to jump backwards; unfortunately for me I didn't. I was very close to panicking; she needed to be taken out now before she got the upper hand, and I could only do that by doing something drastic. Say like jumping towards an explosion rather than away from it.

BOOM! As the shockwave and shrapnel hit me, even through the layer of Fūton chakra I had hastily erected as a shield, I closed my eyes until I was through the eye of the storm, so to speak. The second I felt the resistance disappear I opened my eyes and quickly located Anko, who even in her enraged state was shocked to see me do something so stupid. I took advantage of the momentary reaction and sank my right fist into her stomach as hard as I could; with my left hand I pointed my palm at another nearby puddle. "Suiton: Suirō no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Prison Technique)!" Before she could do more than take a single shuddering breath after being winded she was surrounded by the sphere that made up the technique. "Give up" I said coldly locking eyes with her.

I will give her credit, she didn't as much as blink. The rage in her eyes was tempered, but she remained defiant. After a moment, she finally opened her mouth.

That was when I realized that she had her hands locked in the Tora (Tiger) seal.

Instead of running away like a smart person, I let my jaw drop open at her sheer audacity. Trying to perform a Katon (Fire Release) technique while surrounded by water? A second later, a fucking dragon made of fire shot while she was still surrounded by water. It instantly vaporized the water, and I finally thought about dodging, far too late. The napalm-like blaze hit me and I screamed in agony. Thankfully she didn't have enough breath or chakra to keep the technique going so it stopped after a moment. Blisters were forming on her own skin from the boiling water as she glared at me exactly the same way as she had from inside her watery confinement. After a second of rolling around on the ground to put out the flames I got to my feet. "You're fucking crazy, you know that!?"

"You're one to talk." Unlike the rest of the fight, her voice had no inflection whatsoever. It honestly creeped me out even more than the berserker state she had been in. Her eyes trailed over my arms and I realized that my tattoos were visible, courtesy of her fire dragon. They were nearly identical, the most obvious difference being that the ones on my left arm were blue, and the ones on my right were yellow.

While she tried to decipher what they meant, a Kage Bunshin sneaked up on her and put his arm on her shoulder. She reacted violently, immediately thrusting out her hands to try and nail it in the throat. The Kage Bunshin dodged but she kept up her attack; she had assumed that I was the one behind her and the one on the floor was a Kage Bunshin – since I had used that trick earlier. Unfortunately she was proven wrong about three seconds later when she finally dispelled the clone. Her eyes widened as my hand landed on her shoulder and I called out once more, "Raiton: Jibashi (Lightning Release: Electromagnetic Murder)!" I didn't go easy on the chakra output either, making sure she was well done, but not suffer any serious damage. Probably.

After a few seconds of twitching and twisting under the technique I finally let go; she would have fallen to the ground had I not caught her bridal style. Her eyes still had a potent glare as she fought a losing battle with unconsciousness, and I was sure that had she been able to talk she would have threatened to cut off my balls for daring to make her look weak. Even as she passed out she made me shudder.

After a few seconds of staring at her bedraggled appearance, making sure that the fight was well and truly over, I finally realized that the arena, which had been fairly thrumming with noise the entire time, was silent. I looked up to see everyone staring at me, and I started to squirm under the collective gaze. 'Hehe…maybe I went a little overboard?'

As I placed Anko gently on the ground I was finally rescued by the Sandaime Hokage, who stood up from his seat. "Mitarashi Anko is unable to continue. Thus, the winner of this year's tournament is Nanashi!" Thunderous applause burst out from the crowd, who had been thoroughly entertained. I let out a grin and a casual wave this time as the medical ninjas came out with a stretcher and started loading the unconscious Anko on it. As they beckoned for me to follow I kept my distance from the stretcher. 'I think I'm going to avoid her for a while. I like my balls too much.'


Author's Note: You guys know that warm feeling when you get the email alert telling you that a new chapter is out? I get that feeling every time I get an alert telling me that someone has left a review. So give me that feeling as much as you can people, that's all I ask for in return for writing this brilliant (in my humble opinion) story.

Also, I've made minor changes to the previous chapters. I moved the scene where Nanashi shows off the Hiraishin to chapter 2, because I found a rather excellent joke I had written in an earlier draft of this story. You won't miss much if you decide to skip re-reading though.

For the guest reviewer who left the rather fascinating suggestion of using corpse/undead summons, this possibility seriously excited me. Until I realized that it's basically what Pein does. So, that is out. Anyway, I already have something in mind regarding summons.

This is basically the first time I've written a fight scene, so please let me know if you found it to your liking. If you have any comments, questions, complaints, or even think that I did a good job, the review section is just below. Just a few words in return for this rather large chapter are all I ask for. Thanks for staying with the story, and stay tuned for chapter 5!

P.S. Does anyone know a good site where I can give my techniques a proper name, instead of butchering the Japanese language? Please let me know if you do!