"Sorry, I don't think that's a good idea. I'm a little old for you."
His words came out so simply and crashed into her chest. The girl gasped and felt the tears grow on the edge of her eyes. She was about to burst into tears when her pride suddenly took over to lie with the most detached tone she had:
"Don't you dare look down on me. I never hoped for anything. I just wanted to get rid of it."
Her eyes wanted to prove her complete indifference, but she knew they actually reflected all the disillusionment that twisted her all the way up from the stomach to her throat. She tried a sarcastic chuckle but it was quickly strangled by the sadness in her voice. Knowing she would soon lose her composure, she turned around and walked away proudly with an almost ridiculous speed.
He had a mocking smirk before turning towards the forest to go along with his training.
Alone at a place she knew was isolated. The teenager burst out and let floods of tears roll down her cheeks to crash pathetically on the ground. He'd rejected her. He hadn't thought about it, nor seemed hesitant. He just cast it away like you'd throw a sticky insect. Her shoulders shook violently to the rhythm of her suffocation, as uncontrollable as the rivers of tears that flowed from her eyes.
How did she even think that he could, with the tiniest luck, take an interest in her? She was just that kid in the guild, powerful, but a kid anyway. How could she have hoped that he felt anything for her other than the friendship they barely had? You idiot! She thought. She was just a stupid girl and an idiot!
She should have kept her feelings to herself, moved on and just forgotten about it. Why did she choose to let him know how she felt? How could she have imagined that she was perhaps different from the others in his eyes? That the way he looked at her was different? That the way he stroke her in their spars was different from the way he stroke Natsu or Erza?
She was stupid. Just stupid and nothing else. Nothing was different with her than the others. There was nothing unique about the way he spoke to her softly with his sly smile on his lips, any more than the mocking tone he used to emphasize the "astonishing stupidity of this guild". She had imagined it all. Everything
What was to do now that he was never going to look at her the same way again? Now that he was going to avoid her or see her only as the "kid with a crush on me"? He was never going to speak to her again, or at least not for a long time.
Her fist hit the stone wall violently with rage. She hated herself. She wanted their relationship to never change, to remain forever that modest friendship, punctuated with fighting and the music they shared from time to time. The open drops continued to roll down her cheeks when she realized that he was never going to put his earphones on her ears again, to make her listen to music that he particularly liked or just found funny.
Never again could she discuss magic with him. Never again was she going to hear him making fun of her Goth clothes or her defeats against Erza. Never again was he going to make deadly comments or glare at her after she replied with an equally harsh nasty remark. Never again was he going to agree to share something with her.
She felt so bad that her guts felt like twisting inside her. Her muscles were trembling and her breath seemed ready to run a mile. Responding to the most primary instinct she'd had in a long time, she ran. She stepped over the huge stones which blocked her path, jumped, accelerated, slowed down then ran again. She went on until she reached the top of one of the huge cliffs that bordered the beach and the lake.
Her breathing was short and difficult, but the tremors had finally stopped. The girl took a deep breath, the fresh air of water filling her lungs and remained as calm and deep as the water that laid quietly. She gazed at the huge surface of water that laid before her eyes and seemed to absorb all the water from her eyes. She smiled softly and turned to go back to the city and ther sofa that patiently awaited her.
"A little nap and everything will be fine." She didn't have time to dwell on this kind of nonsense. She had a redhead to beat.
"MIRA-NEE!"
Mirajane suddenly came out of her torpor at the call of her name. She blinked two or three times and stared at the pale face, strangely similar to hers, staring at her with concern.
"Why are you yelling, Lisanna?" She asked with a bright smile. "I hear you."
Her younger sister continued to stare at her without a word, still looking worried. Her blue eyes were looking for the slightest hint on the face of her eldest. They stayed that way for one or two long minutes, each trying to understand the other's strange behavior. The older tried another huge, innocent smile, but met again the inquiring look of her sister.
"Really?" She finally responded. "I've been calling you for ten minutes and you've been staring at the wall, crying."
The young woman quickly ran a hand over her cheeks and was surprised to find them wet. She was crying? Because of her memories? They weren't necessarily very happy, but not to the point of crying seven years later in front of the whole guild. The guild. The mage jumped when she remembered its existence and suddenly looked up at the crowd of people who were also staring anxiously at her.
She blushed in embarrassment and went back to the white-haired on, probably still waiting for an answer. She smiled as best she could and finally replied:
"Everything's fine. I'm just a little tired, I think I'm going to go home and sleep."
With these words, she looked down, quickly took her bag behind the bar and left the building followed by the multitude of eyes her disappearance behind the huge wooden door.
The youngest Strauss watched her walk away silently. Her sister was taking two days off in a row? In what world was that even possible? She had to shake the earth so she would take only one. The mystery deepened. What could have bothered her to the point of tears and fleeing the guild so fast?
The demonic mage crossed the streets of Magnolia and rushed to her front door. She wanted to go in, collapse on her couch and sort through the thoughts tangled in her mind. She entered her house and savored the peace so dear to her, which emanated from it. The same impression appeared from her room, white and clear.
She emptied her bag but froze when her fingers came in contact with the cold facbric of a very special object, green. Her headphones. Tears rose to her eyes with the flood of memories rushing through her mind. She shook her head violently, rubbed her eyes and rushed into the bathroom. She needed a hot shower to clear her thoughts.
She bluntly threw her red dress and white underwear on the floor, undid the ponytail that held her bangs and stared for a few seconds at the young woman with long white hair who was looking back at her in the mirror. She had grown up, no doubt, she had matured too, and evolved considerably. So why did she feel like she was still that girl?
She took a deep breath and finally entered her shower. She turned on the water and jumped when the frozen liquid suddenly touched her hot skin. After a few seconds, the temperature increased and the white one relaxed to appreciate the hot water which flowed calmly on her skin
The demonic mage jumped at the sight of the package lying on her bed. It wasn't wrapped but still impossible for the white-haired girl to guess the contents of the box at first sight. She took it gently in her hands and looked for any trace of a possible card. Nothing. Who could give her a gift this way? Today was her birthday but all her relatives and friends had already given her their presents. Even Erza, who had bought her an astonishing book called: "15 yoga techniques to stop screaming all the time".
She frowned and thought again about the present's possible origin. She had been in the guild for a few months now and had integrated fairly well into it. Among the people who had not yet offered her a gift: Natsu? No, far too stupid for that sort of thing. Gray? They weren't really close. Levy? She was the one who found Erza's present.
Suddenly, she stopped. Could it be him? He hadn't really talked to her since that last time and she couldn't imagine he would want to give her something for her birthday.
She opened the box and froze again. In front of her stood a pair of green Lacrima Model Headphones. She stifled a cry with her hand and a few tears spilled out in her eyes. Definitely him.
For confirmation, the letters "H.B, little demon" were written on the cover.
She smiled as tears ran down her cheeks. She thought it was maybe his way of apologizing, it was also a way of making her realize that he was probably not going to talk to her for a while. She turned on the device in the hope that he also left a song or two for her to listen to. It was empty. She smiled hardly and collapsed on her bed with sadness and joy at the same time. At least now she could listen to music without him.
The white wiped the last tears that remained in her eyes. Why were all these memories coming back now? It was not the first time their relationship had gone beyond friendship. Why was she so affected today?
A knock on the door suddenly brought her back. She turned off the water, wrapped herself in a thick white towel and opened the door to fall on a purple shirt from which came a large neck and a blonde head with a slight smirk. The white-haired woman jumped at the sight, shut the door without thinking and fell to sit behind it. Blood rose abruptly to her cheeks and she almost started to suffocate as she heard the lightning mage chuckle behind.
What was he doing there? How did he get in? What did he want? She blushed all the more when she realized that he had just seen her in a terribly not decent outfit and far too uncovered for her taste. Suddenly she remembered that he might still be behind his door waiting patiently for her to open it.
"What are you doing here?" She shouted through the wood as her embarrassment echoed through her words.
He chuckled louder and replied in his deep but unusually playful voice:
"Your sister sent me to check on you. She says you don't look okay and you're acting weird."
At least that explained how he managed to get in. The white-haired girl sighed at her naivety, Lisanna had given him a key, it's not like he was going to break in! But it still didn't shed any light on why he was right outside her bathroom door to inquire about her condition. It could have been anyone, like Erza, Lucy, Levy or Juvia, but no, her very dear little sister just had to send him. Him. Why did he say yes to begin with?
The young woman got up and quickly put her clothes back on to open again to the man still waiting, armed with his eternal smirk.
"Why you ?" She asked with a suspicious look, almost sure he was up to something.
He nearly burst out laughing at the angry red face of his comrade, it surely had become too easy to embarrass her. He quickly recovered and looked into her almost black eyes.
"Guess I was just bored." He replied simply. "Besides, you looked completely normal when we chatted this morning so I thought maybe I said something."
The mage blushed deeply. He was kidding her! How could he have forgotten what he had suggested? Because he didn't suggest anything at all, you idiot! She blushed even more, realizing that she had put herself in such a state for a few innocent and meaningless sentences in his eyes. Should she tell him what she had imagined? He would surely make fun of her but things would then return to normal and she could finally get him out of her head.
Absolutely not! If she ever told him the slightest thing about it, he would realize that she was sensitive to his comments and would take the opportunity to embarrass her even more and this time knowing it. She had to come up with an excuse and let him go once and for all.
But how could she do it when he was standing in front of her and with obviously no intention of leaving until he received an explanation. She began to consider all the possible answers: illness? She was perfectly fine and was absolutely not credible as a sick person, especially because she was able to work with a ridiculously high fever. Stress? How was she going to make him swallow that she was stressed out to the point of crying for no apparent reason?
"Mira?" She heard.
"Huh?"
He chuckled again, with that smile so rare that it became extremely attractive. She smiled in return at her own answer and gazed again at his teeth that almost hypnotized her. Her gaze slid through his hair, which looked like golden threads, and found herself feeling the urge to bury her hands in it to caress them.
"That's your explanation?" He laughed.
She came out of her thoughts again, remembering that she was supposed to provide him with an excuse. Of all possible ways to get out, she chose flight and went under his arm leaning against the arch to return to her room, almost shouting:
"Nothing! I'm just a little tired. Why should anything go wrong?"
She sat on her bed, put her earphones on her ears and started to scroll through the music for a song one that would soothe her nerves.
"You can go back now, I'm fine and I'll be even better after a good night's sleep!"
The music has just started when she felt the object leave her ears. She stared at the tall blond who sat on the bed without the slightest embarrassment and who now had just taken her music from her and brought it to him.
"What are you listening to?" He asked with a more serious but still natural tone.
Blood rose to her cheeks again. She had clearly told him to leave and he was quietly staying without permission. Who did he think he was? She watched him listen to the tune with interest, then untied the device from him to hand it over again. She grabbed it slowly while staring at him. His golden eyes looked right through her, while she couldn't guess anything from him.
When she realized that they had been staring at each other for several seconds, she immediately looked away and felt her heart rate speed up slightly. The mage then rose suddenly to place the magic device on her dresser and finally turned to him when she was sure she was completely soothed.
He got up and was standing there facing her. She detailed his outlines, his coat draped over his shoulders, giving him an even more massive figure than he already had while his purple shirt hired his torso that she knew was perfectly outlined. She even started imagining the patterns that the exercise had traced on his chest, and down. Slowly heating up. Her lower abdomen was caught in the familiar feeling of hunger and tremors.
He still didn't move, just stared at her with an intensity that froze her the second her eyes met his. Finally, he looked away, with immense relief for the young woman.
"Thank you for coming but I'm just a little stressed out." She mumbled.
He looked at her with more than suspicious eyes. Observing her again. She trembled a little. Those eyes. She thought her belly was about to explode. Was it possible to desire someone so much?
"You're sure you're okay?" He inquired.
No. Definitely not. She was almost there, one last smile and he would leave. Things would go back to normal, as they always had.
"I didn't know you were so considerate." She answered by adopting this same sly smile.
He shrugged slightly with a quick sigh.
"Don't flatter yourself, Strauss. I just don't want to be found guilty of high treason by making you cry."
So he knew. He was perfectly aware that it was his fault she had started to cry. Did he know why? Did he have any idea what feelings she once had for him? Did he forget about that?
"High treason?" She raised, raising both her eyebrows as they both headed for the main door.
"Just shaking you is enough for the death penalty here." He chuckled.
She smiled at this comment that she knew was half true. I hope you wrote your will.
He cast her an inquiring look again, making it hard for her to keep consistency, then disappeared behind the door.
Finally translated ! To be honest, I don't like this chapter very much and the next chapters are quite different. Tell me what you guys think ! I'll try to get the other chapters ready quicker now that I have more free time.
