Original Publish Date: 4th-December-2015


A/N: This chapter is dedicated to Drew86419, who said in a review that I could eventually be the best writer on the site. Drew, your review made my dick feel a full foot long and as thick as my neck, so thank you!

And now that I have thoroughly creeped everyone out, on with the show!


Chapter 11 – All That She Wants

So if you are in sight and the day is right

She's a hunter you're the fox

The gentle voice that talks to you

Won't talk forever

It's a night for passion

But the morning means goodbye

Beware of that is flashing in her eyes

She's going to get you

- All That She Wants, Ace of Base


? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

The awareness had rushed away from the Smiling Being as soon as possible. The Smiling Being represented Pain; whether it was the source of Pain or it was drowning in Pain the awareness didn't know. It didn't want to know.

It returned to scouring the empty universe, the hungry empty space between the coldly burning stars, but it found nothing. It went to one edge of the infinite universe and found nothing but cold dank darkness and emptiness. It went to another and found nothing but debilitated rocks. The more it scoured the universe the more it grew desperate.

It took infinity to search every corner, whether it was the cold burning of the pinprick stars or the frozen emptiness of the darkest recesses, but it found nothing.

Nothing.

The universe was horrifically empty.

There was only the awareness…and the Smiling Being of Pain.


Once more the dreamer violently awoke, gasping from the affliction of the nightmare; immediately gulping down a glass of water. Once more, the trembling limbs of the dreamer showed how terrified they were, spilling half the water over themselves. Once more the dreamer knew that there would be no more sleep that night, only more wonderings about what the dreams meant. Once more, the dreamer looked to the window, hoping for the sun to come up soon; to send its burning heat to warm up the clammy coldness that had seeped into the dreamer's very soul.


The Next Day: 4465617468

"How would you like to be taught?"

Kurenai's face relaxed into yet another gorgeous smile, "That's an interesting teaching technique you have."

I grinned back at her, "What can I say, I picked it up from one of the best teachers I know."

She blushed slightly, but got down to business. "I already have more than a passing interest in Fūinjutsu, and I was hoping you could test the extent my knowledge before we get started."

I tilted my head at her, "You already have something in mind." Upon seeing her nod I smiled at her, "The longer I am around you the more impressed I grow." She dimpled, but this was not the time to play hooky. "What's the most complicated sealing technique you know?"

Her eyes flashed with something unidentifiable as she spoke neutrally, "Fūja Hōin (Evil Sealing Method)."

I nodded; being around Anko she would definitely have picked it up. "All right, do you know what each line matrix of seals is supposed to do?"

We sat down at this point and I took out my sealing supplies. She took the brush and drew each of the lines of seals from memory, carefully explaining what each branch did. I asked her further questions about the relationship between individual seals, and she explained them all to the best of her ability. After a solid hour of questioning I finally started scratching my face through my mask. Log-damned scratchy mask.

"All right, as far as I can tell you seem to have a solid grasp on the basics. Would I be wrong in assuming that you learned everything through books?" She nodded, looking a little apprehensive. "That's not a bad thing on its own; but you've probably come to understand Fūinjutsu as having a bunch of underlying rules that cannot be broken, am I right?" Reassured by my first sentence, she nodded with a little more confidence. "You're wrong!"

She was as taken aback by the zealousness in my tone as the words themselves. After a few moments she asked me uncertainly, "But the seals I've drawn according to what the books say is impossible don't work…"

I was already shaking my head halfway through her rationale. "Seals are only limited by your imagination. If a seal matrix or seal structure doesn't work, it has a different fundamental error. It can be a design flaw; it can even be a limitation of the language being used. The more you learn about Fūinjutsu, the more you will have to accept that some branches can often work in direct contradiction to the rules of others.

"Each Fūinjutsu practitioner makes this discovery at some point. Every experiment you make allows you to expand upon horizons you previously thought were unattainable. You will often find a rather confusing reason as to why a seal that should work, doesn't work. I once designed a seal that didn't work only because its phonetic equivalent had the wrong number of syllables.

"Fūinjutsu is considered an esoteric art simply because almost nobody understands all the rules that govern it. I've immersed myself in the art over the last five years, and while I understand more than most, even I have not been able to answer the most fundamental questions about it. It brings us down and tells us that we know nothing. It forces us to open our eyes and look at ourselves and acknowledge that we are lacking. Once you realize that it opens your mind and then, and only then, can you understand the Sealing Arts."

Kurenai's eyes were wide by the time I finished my monologue. After a few seconds of silence she took a deep breath. But by this point I was only getting started.

"I mentioned experimentation just now. You should not do that unless there is a certified Seal Master around. At the very least, whenever you test a seal, use a Kage-Bunshin to do it. That way you atleast if it backfires you do not injure or cripple yourself." I cocked my head, "You mentioned earlier that you had something in mind. What was it?"

Kurenai took a few moments to collect her thoughts. "I had an idea after I saw your tattoos…The first time you experimented on them, were they on paper?"

I nodded, and tore off a small piece of paper from the large roll in front of me. I quickly scribbled a seal sequence on it and handed it to her. "Put it on the ground and push a small amount of chakra into it."

She did as instructed, and immediately a small fireball, the size of her palm, sprang into existence above the paper. "Is that…a Gōkakyū (Grand Fireball)?"

I nodded, "Yes, albeit not a very grand one right now. If you push more chakra into it, it will grow larger. However, it will not last very long. The ink that we use for most Fūinjutsu is not a very potent Sealing Agent." I think I knew where she was going with this, as I saw her experimentally increase and decrease the amount of chakra she put into the paper, fascinated with the way the fireball expanded and contracted respective to the amount of chakra.

After a few moments she cut off the flow of chakra to the paper entirely, causing the fireball to disappear in a wisp. "Would it be possible to create these paper seals for Genjutsu as well?"

I blinked and then tilted my head, wordlessly urging her to continue. So my hunch was right. Kurenai continued, "The weakness of any Genjutsu is the fact that it can be dispelled as soon as a user recognizes the foreign chakra in their systems. I've always wondered if there was a way to use my opponent's own chakra against them, locking them in a genjutsu of their own creation. The only way that someone could then escape would be if an ally then disrupted their own chakra flow. That is why I am wondering if we can create a paper seal for genjutsu that activates by the enemies' own chakra."

.

.

That was terrifying!

My own Genjutsu-nullifying seal was based on recognizing foreign chakra and preventing it from affecting my brain. If I was ever trapped in a Genjutsu that used my own chakra as fuel I would be as screwed as I was before I had created my own seal!

On the other hand, the possibility of trapping my opponent into an unbreakable genjutsu left me salivating.

I only realized that I was grinning manically when I saw Kurenai smiling at me once more. "I take it you like my idea?"

I nodded, my grin fixed firmly in place. "You have a very devious mind, Kurenai-san."

"Considering that I'm a Genjutsu expert, I take that as a compliment." She blushed as she said this, evidently not used to being this bold.

I grinned at her, "That's two days in a row that you've blown my mind. I can only imagine what tomorrow has in store for me."

The blush stayed on her face, but she didn't say anything; evidently she did not partake in a battle of wits too often. After a few moments, my own gaze dropped back to the roll of sealing paper, considering the query at hand. The seal would have to be activated by the chakra that everyone released unconsciously, while not activating in the hands of the attacker; it would be really stupid if someone pulled out a seal and got caught in its effects before they could get to their opponent.

I pointedly ignored the multiple memories that rose up where I had done exactly that, but with different seals.

In any case, I was reasonably certain I could design such a seal, but that was not what Kurenai was after. "All right, so we have two options in front of us. Number one, you memorize the seals of a few Genjutsus / Yin chakra techniques, and I can teach you how to write them down in Written Seal format. Number two, I teach you how each individual seal interacts with the other and how Ninjutsu's and Genjutsu's are formed; or just Genjutsu's, if you prefer. Ultimately you will be able to create your own techniques; it is a longer road and a harder one, but I believe it is the more rewarding one."

Kurenai considered it carefully, pursing her painted red lips together while her crimson eyes flashed with the struggle of the decision. I let her take her time; it was an important decision after all. Finally she looked up, her red eyes locking on my own, "I think I would like to go for the first option. While I would love to understand the intricacies of the seals that make up our everyday techniques, I'm afraid my duties don't leave me the time required to dedicate myself to a new subject." An apologetic expression crossed her face. "I hope you're not disappointed in my decision."

I smiled reassuringly, "Nonsense. You're right; it is a very time-intensive discipline. And you also have your own training regimen to keep up. My sensei always used to tell me, 'Work on your weaknesses, but never stop polishing your strengths.'"

Kurenai smiled at that, "He sounds like a good sensei."

I let out a nostalgic smile of my own, "He was." Is. Dammit, not this again.

"It also sounds like you were a good student."

I actually let out an aborted snort at that. "Hell no. I was an idiot and a complete pain."

She blinked in surprise. "I'm sure you were not that bad."

I squinted at her, "Lady, if anything, I am underestimating how awful I was as a kid."

She gave an amused smile, quite clearly not believing me but unwilling to argue further. I sighed. "While we're on the topic, I had something else to ask you. I had actually planned on asking this at the end of our training session, but since it's come up…" I straightened myself.

"You met my charge yesterday, right?" She looked confused, but nodded. For a moment I struggled to find a gentle way to put it, but then gave up. "He's an idiot." I said bluntly. She raised her eyebrows, whether in disapproval or surprise I didn't know, but I charged forward. "It's not his fault; he's had to deal with the ignorant hatred of the villagers and the subtle sabotages in the Academy as well, no less." A steely look entered her eyes at the slightest hint of a child being mistreated, which made the next part of my request earlier. "What he does have going for him is: he responds well to positive reinforcement, he's a very hard and willing worker and if you give him a task, he will complete it with a single minded determination. He's also very self-confident." I tilted my head, and my tone dropped unconsciously. "It's something that your charge lacks."

A startled expression crossed her face. "What are you trying to say?"

"I propose that we train them together every once in a while. Naruto has no tact and next to no manners, and that's something only someone his own age can successfully teach him at this point. Their problems are diametrically the opposite. To be honest, I'm hoping that the two of them will rub off on each other, as well as provide a yardstick for each other to measure themselves by." I straightened my head, "It's only a request, please take your time while considering it. I haven't discussed it with the kid yet, so don't feel obliged to accept it."

She nodded, her eyebrows creased together. "I will consider it", she said noncommittally.

I tilted my head in acknowledgement, and we went back to our Fūinjutsu studies.


Kurenai had just finished practicing the written forms of the handseals when there was a slight disturbance in the clearing we were in. We both raised our heads and waited for the person to make their presence known. A few moments later, the source of the noisy footsteps came into view.

It was Anko.

She still had her hair down (she looked weird that way!) and her trenchcoat was tied tight around her, hands stuck in her pockets. She had foregone her mesh leggings, allowing only her bare legs to be visible. I had gone to her apartment in the morning, but she wasn't there. I had assumed the hospital had caught her and dragged her back, but clearly that wasn't the case.

"Hi" I said awkwardly. She just grunted in reply. Yup, this is how mature adults communicate after spending a night together.

"Anko! Are you all right? What happened to you?" All things considered it was impressive that Kurenai had managed to keep herself this composed.

Anko had shuffled close to us by now, and both of us were on our feet; strange, I didn't remember getting up. She took a long look at Kurenai and raised her hand to her neck to pull down the collar of her trenchcoat. Just before she could do so my hand snapped out and stopped hers from reaching its target. "You were unconscious, so I'm telling you now… The Hokage has declared it an S-rank secret." I then removed my hand, because it was not very gentlemanly to hold a woman's hand if she didn't want to; totally not because I was afraid she would remove said appendage. Not at all.

To her credit, Anko seriously considered it for a moment before locking eyes with me. "There's no way I'm keeping something like this from 'Nai-chan. I'll square it with the old man later."

I wasn't entirely happy, but Anko was a big girl, she could handle the consequences of her actions. Once more her hand rose to her neck to pull down her collar, this time it was unopposed. She tilted her head so that her curtain of hair was parted, baring her delicate neck. While my mind went straight to the gutter, urging me to attach my lips to the sensually offered flesh, Kurenai let out a gasp.

"It's gone!"

Anko gave her a flat look, but Kurenai's excitement wasn't dampened in the least. "How!?" she demanded.

Anko grunted again. "Apparently nameless wonder here wasn't blowing hot air."

Kurenai's disbelieving eyes snapped to me, and I sheepishly rubbed the back of my head. "Hehe…I knew this ritual…"

A wide smile blossomed across Kurenai's face. "This is wonderful! I'm so happy for you!"

Even Anko's flat mood couldn't survive the onslaught of Kurenai's happiness. Her own features softened as she looked at her best friend, "Thanks."

"What was it like?"

Anko shuddered. "Painful."

That shut Kurenai right up. For Anko, calling something 'painful' translated to 'hellishly torturous' for normal people. After a few moments she tentatively asked, "Does it still hurt?"

Anko considered it for a moment. "I'm sore all over. But that just might be because of the naked workout shitstain put me through after the ritual."

I scowled. "As if I had any choice in the matter! You broke out of the hospital, punched me and then dragged me off to your lair!"

Anko snorted. "I didn't hear you complain."

I grinded my teeth, but I didn't reply, causing Anko to smirk.

Kurenai, however, was looking at me with an inscrutable expression. I looked at her and blinked in confusion; but she shifted her expression from me to Anko. Something…feminine passed through the two of them. It's some form of communication that is incomprehensible to those who possess a Y-chromosome. They had an entire conversation in a few silent seconds, leaving me feeling extremely uncomfortable. Ero-Sennin's imaginary voice whispered in my ear, 'When you see two women staring unblinkingly at each other, prepare for a verbal battle or even a catfight.'

Kurenai finally broke the silence, "Did you really just club him over the head and drag him off to your cave like some primitive cavewoman?"

Both Anko and I blinked in surprise, but only Anko reacted by nodding dumbly. Kurenai had an amused smile as she said in a perfect deadpan, "Ibara-sensei would not be pleased."

And for the second time in three days, I saw Mitarashi Anko blush in embarrassment.

Clearly, there was an inside story I was missing out here. "Who's Ibara-sensei?"

Anko, still red with embarrassment, replied gruffly, "A decrepit old hag."

I blinked, and waited for more information which Kurenai duly provided, "She was our Academy kunoichi-skills teacher. She was…ah, not very fond of Anko."

For a moment, I tried to imagine Anko in a classroom setting where femininity was being taught as a subject. No scenario I imagined ended well…for either the teacher or Anko herself. My own grin started stretching my face wide.

"Of course you liked her... Teacher's pet." Anko grumbled.

Kurenai sniffed disdainfully, "I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about."

And it was fascinating to imagine both of them in a classroom as kids. Anko would definitely be like me, rambunctious in nature; while Kurenai would be like… a mix between Hinata and Sakura.

Their nonverbal communication was over, it seemed, and both had reached some sort of consensus.

"What are you working on?" Anko asked.

"Nanashi-san is teaching me how to make techniques from paper seals. I'm learning the basics behind them first."

And just like that, it was back to business. Shaking my head at the surrealistic situation I sat back down, and continued the lesson, while Anko looked over us.


Later that afternoon, while we were on our way to the academy, Anko broke the silence. "Can you teach me some of the basics as well?"

I looked at her appraisingly. While I had said it jokingly earlier, I wasn't going to just give out my secrets without getting anything back in return. Before I could say anything else though, Anko continued, "I ran into Genma last night. He was interested in a crash course as well."

…all right, maybe a quick crash course didn't sound so bad. "I'll see what I can do."


Once we had picked up the kids from the Academy, Kurenai and Hinata went their separate ways while Anko tagged along with Naruto and me for no discernible reason. I had fixed Naruto's lunch today, so I told him to go to his apartment to eat while I went to my own with Anko, "to do grown up stuff". Once I had closed the door behind her I took a deep breath to brace myself. I didn't know what was going to come of this conversation; hell I didn't know what I wanted from this conversation. But this was not the time to dither. I turned around to face Anko.

And almost launched backwards due to the fountain of blood exploding from my nose.

She was wearing nothing underneath her trenchcoat.

She hadn't taken it off, but just opened it like she normally did. Her pleased smirk at seeing my reaction did…things to me. She stepped closer and whispered, "You did say we were going to do grown-up stuff." As she kissed me, my entire thought process went out the window. Screw talking. What good did talking ever do anyway? We could talk with our bodies and our wandering hands.

We were on the couch with Anko sitting on my lap, and I was just about to take her coat off when the door suddenly opened. A nasally loud voice proclaimed "Nii-chan, I need to-"

I froze. Oh Log! I hadn't locked the door! It was Naruto! How was I going to explain this to him!? Atleast we weren't completely naked yet, things could have been a lot worse.

"Are you two going to do sex?"

…scratch that. I was going to murder the little brat.

I was completely mortified by his words, but Anko kept her head. "Yes we are. Now scram."

Even though I couldn't see his face, I could imagine him scrunching it up. "Grown-ups are weird, 'ttebayo." I heard him grumble as I heard the door close; atleast he was gone. I immediately created a clone that instantly locked the door and activated the security seals. I wasn't entirely sure how Anko was going to react to the intrusion. I looked up at her face, but she had her eyes locked on the clone.

"Kinky", she said approvingly.

I grinned. This was something that I had always wanted to try, and by the Log I was going to take full advantage of the situation.


Later

"Oye, Nanashi, do you mind if I bring another couple of friends to the crash course you have planned?" Genma asked.

"Who do you want to call?"

"Raidō Namiashi and Yamashiro Aoba."

I shrugged. "Be my guest."


Much Later

"Ah, Nanashi-san!" Aoba greeted me near the mission office.

"Oh, hey, Aoba-san. How can I help you?"

"I have a subordinate who is also interested in Fūinjutsu. Do you mind if he tags along?"

"Sure, go ahead."


Even Later

"Err… excuse me… you're Nanashi-san right?"

I looked at the shinobi who had stopped me in the middle of the street with a sinking feeling in my stomach. "I am."

"Ahaha…this is embarrassing, but… Would you mind terribly if I joined the Fūinjutsu session you have planned?"

I grit my teeth, for once thankful that my mask would distort my expression into a smile. "Sure, I have no issues."

It snowballed from there.


2 Days Hence

I twitched.

What seemed to be the entire off-duty shinobi population (and a few on-duty-ANBU hiding themselves) had shown up for the so-called 'crash course'.

Which was taking place in the Academy.

In room 301.

Yup. It was that fateful room.

I felt a rapidly developing tic-mark on my eye. I was going to murder Genma. 'A couple of friends' my ass. To his credit, he was sitting in the front row looking very sheepish about the whole affair. Atleast I had managed to wrangle Sarutobi into letting me peek at the Scroll of Seals in return for the village-wide teaching session. But this…

I also spied Kurenai and Anko sitting together in the crowd, and to my surprise I even spied Nara Shikaku. While he wasn't half as slothful as his son (his position didn't allow him to be), I was surprised that he dragged himself here.

Upon further reflection, it was closer than his home, so he was probably avoiding his wife.

I even spied a certain Yakushi Kabuto in the crowd, but carelessly let my eyes pass over him. Now was not the time for that battle.

I twitched again, and sighed. I had actually had to inform the Mission Office to direct everyone here, once Sarutobi told me that this room could be used for the seminar. Bless them though, they had insisted upon taking a minor admission fee from everyone who was attending and paying me the equivalent of a B-rank mission. The rest of the cash would of course go to the village coffers.

Still, in a million years, I would never have guessed that I would one day end up teaching at the Academy.

All right, my musings had officially made me a minute late in starting, even though I was already there. I really should get started. Since there was clearly a rag-tag group of varying skill levels in Fūinjutsu, I would have to start at the very basics.

I cleared my throat, and there was instant silence.

I won't lie; it was a very empowering feeling. No wonder Iruka-sensei loved this job.

"What…is a Seal?"

There was dead silence.

I saw a particularly naughty ANBU form a genjutsu that caused the sound of a chirping cricket to ring out. I struggled valiantly to keep the grin from my face.

"Come on, you all use seals every day. From storage scrolls to handseals, everyone uses seals in some form or the other, so speak up. What is a Seal?"

There were a few murmurings and whisperings, and one voice was calling out "It's a symbol-"

The door suddenly opened, and Sarutobi Hiruzen was standing there.

I don't mean the Sandaime Hokage, because this man was in the standard uniform.

"Jōnin Sarutobi reporting for class. I'm sorry I'm late."

This was sufficiently weird enough to freak even me out, let alone the rest of the class. Class, sheesh. Look at me, sounding like the quintessential sensei.

I crossed my arms. "I'm reliably informed that in this Academy, students who show up late are told to stand in the corner."

There were a few scandalized gasps, a few snickers; but once Sarutobi looked at everyone he just found blank faces (also known as Danzō's wet dream). He turned back to me, "Of course, the sensei must keep the disciple in his class by any means necessary." His tone was polite, but his eyes reliably informed me that the next time we sparred he would take it out on me. I brushed it off; he was going to kick my ass regardless of what I said.

"Fine, fine, get in and take your seat."

Miraculously, there was an empty seat right in the front row, which Sarutobi duly fulfilled.

"As I was asking, before we were interrupted by our wayward student…What is a seal? I heard someone say something about a symbol." Whoever had said it initially had lost their nerve, so after a few seconds of silence, I answered.

"A seal is a sacrifice."

EVERYONE gave a reaction to that, including Sarutobi. Once the murmurs died down, I continued. "How do we perform techniques? By sacrificing our chakra. How do we design a space-time storage seal? By sacrificing our chakra.

"Thus, a seal is the visual representation of the sacrifice of your chakra."

Everyone had either leaned forward, or straightened up, handing me their complete attention. I grinned; maybe this teaching thing wasn't so bad after all.


2 Hours Later

I wanted to punch my two hour younger self in the face for even having the temerity to think that teaching wasn't so bad! It completely and utterly sucked! I swear that more than half that class was full of utter morons who barely knew which end of a brush to hold, let alone draw a seal!

I stalked away from the room in a foul mood. Once I had their initial attention, I described some of the common sealing practices that were widely known, and the things they couldn't do. I then did the exact things that were thought to be impossible simply by changing the structure of the seal matrices, expecting them to be awed and amazed at my brilliance.

It was at that point that things went to hell.

Some people just couldn't let go of their preconceived notions, despite visible evidence to the contrary. I was utterly frustrated, but I tried to be patient. That only lasted until the insults started.

At that point, I seriously considered murdering the first prick who insulted me.

I looked to Sarutobi to ask him to bring order to the class, but his steely gaze was locked on me. Fuck me! Even this was a test. That was why he hadn't worn his Hokage robes, he hadn't wanted people to bow to his authority; he wanted to see how I imposed my own!

In other words, he wanted to see my diplomatic skills at work.

After all, if I wanted to go to Kiri, he had clearly told me he had reservations about my diplomatic credentials as well as my strength. This was clearly a way to test the former.

At that point, I closed my eyes for a few seconds, and brought up the mental image of the imperious noble that my Hinata had relentlessly drilled into me. Once I opened my eyes I behaved like a complete snob, looking down my nose at the plebeians and viciously cut my detractor to pieces (verbally, sadly). I told him that if he believed that books could never be wrong, he should buy the latest Icha-Icha and live his life according to the ridiculous rules described in them.

Once I had regained control of the classroom, I haughtily went forward with the material I had pre-planned. I tried to teach everyone how to draw a few basic seals, while not being limited by their imagination. Of course, more than half of them were there to satisfy a curiosity, not seriously learn, but I did not allow any light-heartedness or tomfoolery in the class. In-fact, less than 30 minutes into the class I had started to channel Iruka-sensei! Ugh. I had never before realized how much of a pain I had been to him. He must have been a veritable saint to put up with me! I vowed to make it up to the man.

Once everyone realized that it was my way or the highway, things went better, but I did not allow any questions; there was no way in hell that I was ready for that headache. Fucking hell, I needed a drink, and it was barely past noon!

I stormed up to the roof of the academy, blinking in the sudden sunshine. In my opinion we should have been facing a fucking thunderstorm, not having a bloody nice day. I scowled at the village in general, not feeling very charitable towards anything at the moment. Most of them were ignorant idiots anyway. I felt, rather than saw the old man slide up next to me, and I wordlessly put up the privacy barrier.

"That could have gone better" he said noncommittally.

"If you hadn't put in your plants to deliberately sabotage the lecture, yes, it could have gone better." I snapped acidly.

He shrugged unapologetically. I knew why he had done it, but it didn't mean I had to like it. After a few moments though, he spoke again. "On the other hand, it could also have gone worse."

I had to force my lips together to prevent a sarcastic 'Ya think' from spilling out.

"While I was not impressed with the way you let the situation spiral out of control, I must say it was remarkable how quickly you regained it. I was also impressed with the way you have mastered our vernacular, and the noble behavior of our country. If you don't mind my saying so, it doesn't seem like the kind of thing your younger self would be caught dead doing."

Once more, in the last few days, my mind wandered to the…unique way Hinata had trained me. The way she had managed to make her clothes disappear had provided gratuitous material to my spank bank for the last half-dozen years. "Let's just say…I had a lot of positive reinforcement."

Sarutobi looked at me for a few moments and then let out a very perverted smile; one that I matched. Whenever something naughty happens to one man, other men have a sixth sense about it, even if nothing about it is said directly.

It's a guy thing.

I did wonder whether he thought my performance was enough to get me the sign off to go to Kiri, but I wasn't going to look desperate by asking. I had been more or less ambushed for this test even though I hadn't realized it at the time; I thought that I had performed as well as could be expected. In any case, I would know what the old man thought about it soon enough.

Sarutobi had something else on his mind though. "I understand that I can never use the technique, but after seeing you use the Jōka Waru no Gishiki (Ritual of Purifying Evil), I cannot help but be curious about the technique you used to fight Orochimaru at the end."

I tilted my head, "I'm not going to tell you the handseals, but I will describe it for you." I took a deep breath, irrationally terrified of even calling the Death God's name. Well, not irrationally; uncontrollably would probably be a better word to describe my feelings. "It's called the Shinigami no Mai (Dance of the Death God). It requires a horrifying amount of luck to pull off.

"First, you must create a circle; the size doesn't matter, but it needs to be a perfect circle with an unbroken boundary to define its limits.

"Second, you must complete the first five handseals for the Shiki Fūin (Dead Demon Consuming Seal). The first five handseals are the contract to summon the Shinigami at the cost of your own soul.

"Third, you must stand in the circle with your hand locked in the fifth handseal, and either lure your enemy into the circle, or have him there to start with, it doesn't matter. Either way, once your enemy is in the circle, you need to get them to call you by your full name and declare you their mortal enemy. I actually had to goad Orochimaru into saying 'Uzumaki Naruto, you are my mortal enemy'.

"Once you have each declared the other to be your mortal enemy, witnessed by the Shinigami, you complete the handseals, completing the technique, and from that moment on you are locked in mortal combat with your mortal enemy. The initiator of the technique will die one way or the other, but if the enemy wins the bout they can escape with their life. But that is only if they win; it is quite literally the last resort technique.

"Once the technique has been completed, there is no escaping the circle. If one does something sly, say use a space-time technique, the Shinigami will draw you back into the circle. Same is the case if one has split his consciousness across different hosts. I quite literally had to battle him to the death more than a hundred times." I gave a very feral smile. "Every idle fantasy I had ever thought of to kill him, I executed. I actually had to borrow the creative ways that various people had confided in me over the years. I must say, it was quite satisfying, especially since he wasn't fighting at full capacity." I gave a smug look to the Sandaime Hokage, "For some reason he was completely terrified of the Shinigami."

Sarutobi, however, did not share my bloodlust. He just looked at the sky and sighed in resignation. "That is the flip side of the Will of Fire" he murmured. "If you're not careful, you can get consumed in the flames of your own ambition."

I gave him a startled look. I didn't know if that statement had been aimed at Orochimaru…

…Or at me.


Author's Note: All right! This is the last chapter before we head off to Kiri! I've got a lot of reviews praising the way I use Fūinjutsu in the story, giving it a scientific bent of mind; so here's an entire chapter for you guys to chew on and digest!

A REQUEST: Guys, next chapter we go to Kiri. There isn't a lot of information on canon Kiri, so I need to find a secondary source. Which, as it turns out, should be on this very site! So here's my request: Find me a story that perfectly describes Kiri as I envision it.

According to me, Kiri is a desolate and harsh place that has produced the most number of missing ninja. It has produced someone like Kisame, who is a horrifically strong and loyal monster who betrayed his village. On the other hand, it has Mei, who single-handedly stabilized and brought Kiri to the forefront of the Five Great Nations by the time Shippuden kicked off. It has produced Zabuza, who is a vicious greedy bastard who wants to save his village; it has produced Haku, who despite every disadvantage is a pure soul.

This is your chance to directly influence the story people, so snatch it with both hands!

And as for you, my beautiful reviewers, bless you! You make life worth living, give yourself a pat on the back from me as soon as you hit the submit button :)