Lines in the Sand

Arc 1 - A Shinobi

Line 4: A Promise

I clutched Mom's hand tighter as the ridiculously massive front gates of Konoha came into view. From an engineering perspective, the amount of force required to simply open and close them should've made such a design an unreasonable one. Not to mention the burden it must've placed on the hinges. There simply wasn't any practical reason for them to be so big.

However, such aspects seemed to matter little to shinobi. From what I've gathered thus far, Konoha was something akin to an enormous mercenary organisation. And what better to advertise your might or to inspire awe amongst potential clientele than needlessly large things?

Just another part of their sausage waving contest they bore with their competition.

I blew a tuft of hair out of my face and directed my attention to the congregation of people that gathered in the large clearing just before the gates. They numbered about 50 to 70, or so I estimated. It was difficult to gauge more accurately as many of them were hidden from sight by carriages, carts, and the horses that pulled them.

"Let's see," Ryoki muttered, breaking me out of my musings. "Tanjiro said he'd be on the left side." He started to lead the five of us through the crowd. "Ah, there he is," he said as he began taking off towards two carriages that had a blue roof.

"Oi! Tanjiro! How are ya doing young man!" he called out.

A tall, tanned man wearing a star hat turned around. "Old man Ryoki," he said, smile blooming on his face when he recognised who called out to him. "It's so good to see you!" When they closed the distance, they gave each other a hug and a pat on the back. "I was afraid you wouldn't be able to make it this year."

"Nonsense, nonsense. You know I wouldn't miss this for the world. Even if… Well. She would want me to come anyways."

Tanjiro donned a more sombre look. "You have my condolences, I can't imagine how hard losing her might've been for you. Tsumi was... she was a fabulous woman, always too nice for her own good. I'm sorry I wasn't around when it…" his voice trailed off as he adopted a pained expression. Then he shook his head before continuing. "Look, if you need anything, and I mean anything, let me know. I'll do my best to give you a hand."

"Young man, even if you were here, there wouldn't have been anything you could do."

"I still wish I could've done something. I owe you that, I owe Tsumi that. Let me."

"Hah, that's why you're giving us a lift to Ibusuki now aren't you?" Ryoki said as he gave Tanjiro a clap on the shoulder.

"It doesn't count, we do this every year." Tanjiro said as he shook his head. "Anyways," his eyes lingered to the four of us, "Why don't you introduce me to the family behind you? I didn't know you had another child. I thought you and Tsumi only had two daughters."

"We did! They're my neighbours. The boy here," he gave dad a pat on the shoulder, "is Asaki Kimaru. His wife Miyako, little Yanagi, and the little girlie here is the Go prodigy Yume." I blushed at the introduction.

"I am Yatsuki Tanjiro, it's a pleasure to meet you all," he said before giving us a bow which we returned. He gestured to one of his carriages, "There's about 10 minutes before the caravan departs, I suggest you guys get loaded up. Other than that, feel free to do what you want until it is time."

We weren't bringing much so getting our belongings onto the carriage didn't take long. Pretty soon, we were all loaded up and ready to go.

Just after Dad finished helping me onto the carriage, Tanjiro came around the back and started to work some of the latches. "We'll pass through customs and leave Konoha in just a bit," he announced, "get comfy because it'll be a bumpy ride."

He flipped over a back panel similar to that of a pickup truck and secured it into place. It was about half a metre tall, serving as a guard rail to prevent his good from sliding out the carriage. Well, in this case, it kept us in.

"Sounds good!" Dad answered. "Thank you again for giving us this ride for free."

"It's no problem. I owe Ryoki a lot favours, it's time I repaid them," he said as he made his way back to the front of the carriage into the driver seat with Ryoki.

The carriage lurched forwards and I immediately wished I had some sort of cushion. When he said it would be bumpy, I didn't think it would be this bumpy. The carriage moved slowly, stopping every few metres or so as we were presumably lining up with the other merchants to get through customs.

Not seeing anything interesting from the back, I scrambled up and made my way to the front of the carriage. Thankfully, there weren't many boxes loaded onto this carriage and they were all stacked to the sides. It left me with a clear avenue to the front where the raised platform for the carriage drivers sat.

"Little missy, got curious came up to get a look did you?" Ryoki laughed and reached back to give me a head pat. He also scooted over a bit so that I had a better view.

"Yup!"

"Well, there's not much to see here either," Tanjiro answered. "At least not yet. When we are outside Konoha, I'll see if we can be in the back of the provision so that you can see more than just horses and carriages."

"Thank you!" I beamed at him, earning an amused smile. "Are we travelling together with all these people?" I asked the question that has been plaguing my mind since I saw the large crowd of people.

"We are," he answered, "merchant caravans like us usually travel in groups so we can pitch together enough for shinobi escorts. It's too dangerous without them, and too expensive to hire them on your own. This is one of the bigger groups, but it should be okay."

"I see, thank you!"

As we got closer to the gate and the crowd thinned out a bit, I noticed a number of booths that lined up the path leading out the gate. We stopped next to one of them and a shinobi greeted us, "Name and registration information please," said the gruff looking shinobi.

"I'm Yatsuki Tanjiro from Kamado's Tannery." Tanjiro said as he got off and handed the shinobi a scroll. "I should have scheduled a departure for today. It is for two carriages, four horses, and seven people.

"Thank you," said the shinobi as he began looking through some scrolls. Every now and then, he would look up to take a headcount of something, before going back to the scrolls. About 30 seconds later, he gave Tanjiro a nod. "Alright, everything looks good and it all checks out. You're a regular so I'm not going to give you too much trouble. Stay safe out there."

"Thank you Shinobi-san," Tanjiro responded, taking the outstretched scroll and returning onto the carriage. Soon the familiar feeling of the carriage lurching forward began again. It didn't take long before the entire caravan started making its way to Ibusuki.

True to his word, once we were outside of Konoha, he positioned our carriage to the tail end of the convoy. I really should thank him again because the view really was impressive.

I hate to admit it, but despite all the grief I gave the shinobi earlier about the unreasonably large gates, seeing them from the outside like this made them look grand. Especially with the bustling village and the Konoha mountain as the backdrop.

As I continued to admire the scenery, a kid about 9 years of age came into view. Well, perhaps I shouldn't think of him as a child because the headband he wrote on his upper arm denoted him as shinobi.

He made for a surreal sight. Not only did he keep pace with the carriage with ease, he also had a sword as long as he was tall strapped to his side. Even if the sword had been a toy, which I was absolutely certain it was not, the serious and alert expression on his face wasn't something you should find on someone so young.

I didn't think I was fooling anyone by looking away from him whenever he caught me staring, but I couldn't help it. He was an enigma, and I was sufficiently intrigued.

The more I observed him, the more I realised he wasn't as calm and composed as he first appeared to be. His eyes were twitchy, and his hands kept reaching for his blade whenever he heard a noise.

At first, I thought it was akin to a veteran's edge; however, I soon realised he was jittery because he was nervous.

Was he new to the field? It would make a lot of sense given his age. For so long I've thought of shinobi as the cold, merciless killers I'd come to expect of them. However, even shinobi had to start somewhere right?

Maybe I could exploit that and gather some information about the world and chakra from talking to him.

After a particularly loud rustling of leaves that made him jump, I decided to talk to him. It was against my best judgement and probably a mistake — something about a cat being too curious — but I couldn't resist.

"What's your name?" I called out. It must've surprised him because all he returned was a confused stare. I didn't even have to look behind me to know my family was doing the same. "I'm Yume. What's your name?" I tried again.

He narrowed his eyes, and I suppressed a nervous gulp. Okay, it was a bad idea after all. Abort, abort, mission critical.

Then he actually answered. "I'm Gekkō Hibiki."

"Nice to meet you Gekkō-san," I returned, trying not to let my panic show. Okay, you have his attention, time to try a casual conversation. "How long have you been a shinobi?"

He hesitated again, but he didn't display any other behaviour that would suggest he was against further conversation. "I just recently graduated."

He didn't sound irritated either, a good sign. "How has being a shinobi been like?" I asked, pushing my luck further.

It might've been a step too far as he snapped at me, "Why are you talking to me?"

The tone made me wince, but he didn't show any other signs of aggression. Still safe. "I'm just curious," I answered somewhat honestly. "If you don't want to talk, that's okay."

He narrowed his eyes again and gave me a strange look as if he were trying to figure me out. I wilted a little under his scrutinising gaze. It probably only lasted about 30 seconds, but it felt much longer than that.

I wasn't sure what kind of conclusion he might've reached, but then he suddenly gave me an understanding nod. He dropped his cold and distanced demeanor from before and smiled, catching me off guard. "I guess it wouldn't be so bad to talk a little," he said in a much friendlier tone.

He started walking a little faster and closed the distance between us so that we could talk more comfortably. I wasn't sure what caused the change, but I wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. Once he was about a metre or two behind the carriage, he answered my question from earlier. "Anyways, being a shinobi is fun I guess."

"Fun?" I echoed, my brows furrowing in genuine confusion.

"Yeah, it's pretty fun," he said with a shrug, "sometimes, it's kind of lame like our previous mission, but for the most part it's been fun."

I'd been expecting a lot of different descriptors when I asked the question. Things like honour, pride, duty, even cool. But for him to describe a profession that was the equivalent to being military personnel as fun or lame?

Yeah, I was not expecting that.

"Can you tell me about missions?" I asked, changing the type of questions I was asking. After all, my goal was to gather information, not learn about his life.

"No problem," he said with a grin, completely at ease now. "So each mission has a rank that denotes its difficulty. Our current one is a C-rank." He scratched his cheek a little. "It's actually my first time doing a C-rank. Until now we've been stuck with D-ranks."

"So are D-ranks guarding smaller convoys?"

"Ah… no. Not quite," he looked a little upset as he said this. "D-ranks are really more like glorified chores. Picking weeds, transporting construction equipment, watching dogs. Our last one was cleaning garbage out of a river," he said kind of disgusted.

"That's a big jump, from walking dogs to guarding so many people."

"Yeah…" he sighed before walking closer. "Can you keep a secret Yume-chan? You'll learn when you get into the academy, but this isn't supposed to be common knowledge."

"I'm great at secrets," I answered. His latest statement left so many questions, but I had to handle this one thing at a time.

He walked a little closer to me so that he could speak quieter. "Konoha has been short staffed. The war, the kyuubi attack, we even lost our Hokage. We don't have enough shinobi." He looked left and right nervously. "I don't think I was even supposed to be able to graduate to become genin so early, but they're promoting everyone these days because we need more shinobi."

What.

"Even this C-rank. For a caravan this size, there'd normally be a few teams guarding it, or maybe a team of jounin, but they can't spare the people," he looked quite embarrassed as he was saying this. "Remember, this is a secret Yume-chan."

I gulped nervously as I processed the information I just learned. Holding back my panic as best I could, I squeezed out an okay to appease my promise of keeping things under wraps. My answer seemed to satisfy him as he backed up into normal talking distance again.

While my willpower ran overtime trying to keep my emotions contained, the logical processors in my brain were short circuiting. I couldn't believe it. They were just letting kids become shinobi willy nilly. And, if sending under qualified personnel into the field wasn't bad enough, they weren't even manning them appropriately.

God, this was even more of a mess than I imagined.

Suddenly, his jumpy behaviour from earlier made a lot more sense.

Perhaps he recognised my unease, because he tried to comfort me next. "Don't worry, you'll be safe." He smiled. "I'll protect you, no matter what. Plus my sensei is a Hyūga jonin. Nothing will happen under his watch."

Although I appreciated his effort to console me, I hadn't a clue in the world as to how that information was meant to be reassuring. I wasn't even sure why he gave such condemning information to me. However, whatever it was, there wasn't a thing I could do to improve my situation even after learning this new information. It was far too late to turn back to Konoha and I wasn't about to earn the ire of a shinobi by lying about keeping a secret.

All I could do was trust his word.

It wasn't as if the situation would improve by ruminating over the information. All it served to do is terrify me further. Remembering my original goal, I probed for more.

"Gekkō-san," I broke the lull that had descended on us, "could you tell me about chakra?"

"Yeah sure! But what do you want to know? There's a lot to chakra," he answered.

"Uhm… How about how you learned to use it?" I asked. My foray into learning more about chakra had been at an impasse for months now. Not only have I not found any more material to learn more about the subject from, my progress on harnessing my own has stalled. I've been able to feel and reach for it easier now, or at least I think chakra was what I was feeling, but because I was unable to do anything with it, I couldn't conduct any experiments to understand the nature of it better.

"So it starts with a lot of meditation and stuff to feel you chakra, you know how it is," he said dismissively as if it were common knowledge. I felt my eye twitch from the tone in which he said it. No, no I did not know how it was. "The first major step is the leaf sticking exercise I guess," he continued in the same tone.

"Leaf sticking?" I asked, wanting more clarification. That did sound remarkably close to what I've been attempting thus far. Maybe the books I were reading weren't completely useless.

"Yup, leaf sticking you don't know what it is?" he asked in a perplexed manner. His audacity to be confused by my confusion only frustrated me further. Naturally, I tried to not let any of that show when I shook my head. "Huh, that's strange. Here, let me show you."

He jumped over 10 metres into the air effortlessly and snatched a leaf from the tree before I could even finish whipping my head up to catch sight of him. He then somersaulted in midair to kick off a tree branch before landing in a spot the exact same distance from the carriage as earlier. To finish it all off, he proceeded walking again like he hadn't just demonstrated an impossible feat of dexterity and acrobatics. "So the goal is to stick the leaf to a part of your body," he continued right where he left off without missing a beat.

My jaw dropped. Any lingering thoughts or doubts I had that he was anything remotely like a regular kid just went out the window. It just hammered home the point of what shinobi were.

He placed the leaf onto his forehead and it stayed there like it was glued on. He even shook his head a few times to demonstrate it really was stuck there and not some sort of trick. "Try removing it," he said to me as he walked closer so that I could reach it without falling off.

Sure enough, I was unable to peel the leaf off without ripping it.

"Pretty cool right?" he said with a smirk, "as you get better, you do cooler things."

"Yeah! How did you do that?" There wasn't a need to add extra enthusiasm to my response. It really was impressive.

"Well, you channel your chakra to your forehead," he answered simplistically. I felt my eye twitch at the simple explanation.

"And it just sticks?" I asked, hoping to pry more information out of him. There was no way that it was this simple. There had to be more.

"Well, not quite." he answered, confirming my suspicion. "It's a little difficult to explain. You'll learn this in more detail at the academy. So uhm, in our body, we have these systems of pathways that chakra is constantly flowing through."

"Like blood?"

"Yeah! Like blood!" he said kind of excited. "So when we say we channel chakra to a specific body part, what we're really doing is increasing the flow of chakra down a specific set of pathways so we have access to more chakra at the place we want.

"However, just directing more chakra to a spot isn't enough. To actually make things stick, we use our chakra to kind of pull the thing towards us."

"But it's in your body, how do you pull something outside when it is in you?"

"Right, so even though the chakra pathways are how it travels in our body, there are points where the chakra can leave. So first you push the chakra out of your skin then you pull it back at the spot where the leaf is to make it stick."

"Wait, but if you're pushing out chakra, won't that push the leaf away?"

"It does! Here, let me show you." He pointed at the leaf that was still on his head. A second later, it not only launched from his head, it kind of shredded itself too. "Oops, too much. Let me get a new leaf."

He then repeated the process of grabbing a fresh lead from a tree, returning before I could so much as blink.

He continued right on with his explanation. "So to prevent that, you kind of push chakra out in a wide area around the leaf, but pull it back only where the leaf is. If the pulling force is greater than the pushing force, it will stick. People that are really good controlling chakra can push it exactly around the leaf and be very efficient.

"It's a balance though. Too much push, and you saw what happened. Too much pull, you also shred the leaf. Here, it's probably a little advanced for your age, but you try!"

As tempted as I was, and it really was tempting, I wasn't exactly keen on demonstrating shinobi-like skills in front of Mom. She wasn't exactly a fan of them, and it wasn't difficult to understand why. I was already pushing it by talking to him. "Uhm, I've never tried to use chakra before," I lied.

"Really?" he asked, genuinely confused by my answer. When I nodded, he gave me a look like he didn't believe what he was hearing. "Huh, that's strange. Usually clan kids start training with chakra really early. I started when I was 5."

"Clan kids?"

If he looked confused before, he was downright shocked now. "You don't come from a shinobi family?" he blurted out with wide eyes.

"No, my parents are civilians. They're right behind me." I answered in an unimpressed tone.

"I thought they were retainers," he admitted with a sheepish smile while shaking his head. "Oh man, I thought you were a clan kid for sure, it's why I started talking to you."

So that was why he was so forthcoming with information, he thought I was one of them. "Why did you think that?" I asked, unsure how I gave the impression I was anything but a civilian.

"You're smart," he said, earning a disbelieving look from me. At least he had the modesty to look a little embarrassed when he realised what he implied. "My bad, I didn't mean it that way. It's the way you talk, the way you behave. It just reminded me so much of those prodigy kids clans always boast about," he explained. "Are you interested though? Will you go to the academy?"

It was that term again. "Academy?" I asked.

"It's where you train to become shinobi."

I shook my head. "No, I'm not interested."

"Really?" he asked in an intrigued tone. "But you were asking about missions and chakra and stuff."

"Just a passing curiosity," I answered. I wasn't even lying, I was just underplaying the magnitude of my curiosity. "I'm an academic, not a fighter."

My response made him laugh. "An academic huh." I narrowed my eyes at him, what was so funny? "Sorry sorry, it's just that you really do sound like one of those prodigious clan kids. It's a shame you don't want to be a shinobi, I think you would've been a really good one."

Wanting to change the topic, I asked a different question. "Could you tell me how jutsu's work?"

He smiled, still clearly amused. "Sure Yume-chan, anything for the little academic."

Lines in the Sand

I melted into a puddle onto the tatami matts, not caring how embarrassing it looked. I couldn't remember the last time I felt this relaxed.

I heard Mom start snickering behind me so I made my movements even more dramatic for her amusement. "Looks like someone enjoyed the onsen," she remarked while hiding another snicker behind her hand.

"I never want to leave," I murmured softly, "the next time I'm getting in, I'm not coming out."

"Nagi, do you hear that? Your sister chose the onsen over you," she cooed at Yanagi. Yanagi, not understanding the meaning of the words, just gurgled happy sounds back at Mom.

"That's not true! I'll take her with me!"

"Nagi, do you hear that? Your sister wants to drown you," she twisted my words jokingly with a smug grin.

"Mommm," I whined, "Stop bullying me." She started laughing again as I pouted at her.

As her laughter subsided, her expression turned more serious. "I didn't want to say anything earlier because you looked like you were having fun and Gekkō-san appeared nice enough, but generally, it's not a good idea to talk to shinobi."

"I know," I admitted, "but he was just a kid! And I was curious."

"You're always curious," she smiled at me and gave me a knowing look. "And I love that about you Yume," she brushed my hair gently, "but you have to understand, shinobi are dangerous. I don't want you to get hurt. Gekkō-san was a kind person, but not every shinobi is. Even if they look like children, they're not just children. They're trained killers."

"I understand Mom," I replied with a fond smile. I understood perhaps more than she may have realised. I took a risk today. It was a calculated risk, sure, he was paid to protect us so he couldn't hurt us, but it didn't mean I couldn't have accidentally earned his ire and 'disappeared'. He was more than capable of doing so. "I'll be smarter about who I talk to."

She smiled again and kissed me on the forehead. "That's all I want."

She went to check on the luggage, and I directed my attention back to playing with Yanagi.

A few minutes later, two sets of footsteps entered the room. "Having fun little missy?" Ryoki chuckled as he and Dad made themselves known.

"Yup! Nagi-chan is so cute," I said as I covered my face with my hands again. Peeking through the gaps in my fingers, I saw a very confused and lost Yanagi. I hid for another 10 seconds or so before showing my face and shouting out, "Peek-a-boo!"

She bursted into a bubbly laughter which was joined by some deeper bellows from Ryoki and Dad. As she made happy noises, she started reaching for my fingers so I let her pull on them. When she brought them close to her face, I started tickling her cheeks which just made her vivacious laughter louder.

She's too cute. It would be such a sad day for the world when she learns of object permanence. A true tragedy.

"Care to join an old man for a game of Go?" Ryoki asked a minute later when Mom separated Yanagi from me to feed her. "I brought a travel set."

No longer having anything else to do, I readily agreed.

As we settled down to play the game, Dad came around to watch. I'd actually played a few games with dad before, but the last one was over a month ago. "Wait, you don't give her a handicap?" he asked, confusing marring his features as we started the game.

"The little missy doesn't need it anymore," Ryoki guffawed in his usual jolly manner. "Hasn't needed it for a week now." When Dad gave him a disbelieving look, he just laughed again. "I'm serious, here, why don't you take over and play this game." He scooted over to give Dad room.

I blushed again at the praise. You would think that with how often I heard it, I would be accustomed to it by now. However, I don't think I ever would. Especially when I know that the praise was entirely unwarranted. Perhaps it would've been a more intelligent maneuvre to slow down my rate of 'improvement'; however, holding back was killing me.

As Dad took over, the game quickly descended into a scrappy fighting style game that he and I favoured.

Halfway through the game, rumbustious giggling broke me out of my concentration. I looked over and saw Mom trying to get Nagi to do a funny little dance thing. It was adorable watching Nagi waving her hands around.

In front of me, Dad was still furrowing his brows as he tried to figure out how to best answer my latest move. Next to him, Ryoki was rubbing his temples. Whether that was because he was also thinking about the next moves or because he was frustrated by how we were bastardising the elegant game of Go, I wasn't sure.

I closed my eyes and basked in the comfortable atmosphere. This was nice. Having fun, going on trips, enjoying the little things.

A smile grew on my face. I hope that these moments will last forever.

Lines in the Sand

"Are we there yet?" I whined as Ryoki and I hiked up the hillside. I would normally disparage complaining in such a petty manner as I should be above such childish behaviour; however, I was absolutely exhausted and my muscles were sore. I was well beyond the point where I cared how I appeared to others anymore.

"Almost there," Ryoki responded with the dreaded answer that haunted every kid's nightmares, causing me to audibly groan. This elicited him to do his patented jolly laugh, but even that wasn't as full as it usually was since he was quite tired and out of breath himself. "I mean it, we're really close now," he said after he finished laughing at my misery. "It's just around that bend there." He pointed about 200 metres in the distance to an area where the trees looked like they opened up.

As we approached the destination, all my complaints and protests from earlier left me. My jaw dropped as I got closer and closer to the apex of the mountain we were on.

The trees slowly gave way and the sky opened up in front of us, revealing an endless expanse of blue. Mountains and hills of lush, vibrant green dotted the distance. A little closer were neat fields of plentiful crops that led all the way into the nearby was the town of Ibusuki.

The sight was surreal. It left me breathless, and searching for words to explain what I was seeing.

"This is beautiful," I whispered when I finally found my words again.

"Isn't it?" Ryoki said with a serene smile as he hobbled over to an outcrop of rocks and sat down. "Are you hungry little missy? We still haven't eaten lunch yet."

I nodded eagerly before making my way over to him and finding a seat for myself. As I made myself comfortable on the rock, he took off his bag and rummaged through it for the onigiri the Ryokan packaged for us. Knowing my preferences, he handed me the salmon one before taking the beef one for himself.

I gave him a grateful smile which prompted him to laugh and pat my head. As we started to eat, silence descended upon us.

At first, I didn't know why I felt so uncomfortable. You'd think eating some of my favourite foods and enjoying a beautiful sight would be relaxing; however, there was something that just felt so wrong about the situation.

Without the distraction of hiking, it didn't take too long to realise what. He was being uncharacteristically quiet. In fact, he rarely spoke the entire time we travelled up the hillside.

The thought made me frown, and I started watching him from the corner of my eye. Even when he finished his onigiri, he continued to stare out into the distance in silence.

He was deep in thought about something, but I didn't know what.

The silence extended for another 15 or 20 minutes, broken only when I heard him start sniffing. I felt a sense of apprehension and unease built in the pit of my stomach. What do I do? I wondered as I watched him restlessly. Do I interrupt?

Just what was he seeing to make him feel like this?

The formation of another tear made the decision for me. Reaching forwards, I cupped one of his hands between the two of mine.

This seemed to snap him out of his funk. He blinked his eyes in surprise, probably forgetting I was even here until just now. Slowly, he turned his head around until his tear filled eyes found mine. Apparently, the sight of me only made him more confused.

There was a moment where comprehension seemed to dawn on him and understanding returned to his features. He gave me a thankful look before wiping his eyes and returned his gaze back to the distance.

For a second, I thought he was just going to lose himself to his thoughts again, but then he started speaking.

"Tsumi and I travelled everywhere together," he said as he began his tale. "From the high mountains of Kumo to the sandy deserts of Suna. I can still remember all our trips like they were yesterday." A grin returned to his face as he closed his eyes. "There was nowhere we didn't want to go and nothing we were afraid to try. We were young and invincible."

He got up and started walking towards a tree in the distance, gesturing for me to follow him. "But no matter where we went, our favourite place to travel was still here." He started chuckling and pointed to a spot near the cliff. "I proposed to her right there. I'd planned for months for it to be at this amazing resort by the sea, music playing and a wonderful dinner. But then, we were here, and the way the sun illuminated her features made the moment so perfect, so right."

We were nearing the tree now. My eyes widened as I realised there were tallies etched onto the side of the tree. More than 50 of them. "When we got older and couldn't travel as much, we still came here every year," he said with a pained voice and moist eyes. His fingers started tracing the engravings on the tree. "I can't believe last year was our last."

I watched awkwardly as he started sobbing while slowly going over each and every one of the tallies. He paused for an achingly long time whenever he got to a new tally, probably reliving the memories of each one.

I wanted to comfort him; however, I didn't know what to say or what to do. I didn't want to blunder and make it worse. Why was I so useless in situations like these? As I was debating what to do, he started talking again.

"I'm the reason she's dead. I killed her."

"What?" I blurted out, unable to hold my voice back.

He gave me a lonely smile and ruffled my hair. "On that night, I said I wanted red bean mochi. The story sounds so silly, I know. But I was exhausted, and I really wanted it. However, we didn't have any red bean. And so, she offered to get some from a friend down the street…" his voice trailed off and he wiped his eyes again. "If I'd just said no, waited another day, she would still be here right now."

"I traded her life away for a damn snack," he laughed depreciatively. "For fucking red beans."

"You couldn't have known," I argued, not liking where his mind was at. "Nobody could've predicted what happened that night."

"I know," he responded in a defeated tone and closed his eyes. "I know, but I can't help it. It just keeps playing in my head over and over again. All it would take is one little change, and she would still be here."

"You can't think that way," I said as I wrapped my arms around him in a hug. "You can't live if you keep thinking like that. She wouldn't want you to think like this either."

"I know," he repeated. "I really do Yume. It's just… It's hard not to. Something so small." He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath to calm himself. He resumed tracing over the tallies. "I miss her so much."

I hugged him tighter.

As the minutes ticked by, I felt his breathing continue to calm and his tears slowed down.

"You know Yume, I never did thank you properly did I?"

"For what?" I asked, genuinely surprised by the sudden question that came out of nowhere.

"For playing Go with me," he answered. The answer only made me more confused. He laughed, ruffling my hair even more. "On that day, I know you were about to say no. You only changed your mind when you saw how lonely I was."

My jaw dropped for the second time today. "No need to look so surprised you know?" he said fondly with a shake of his head. "At first, I thought I was just imagining things. Attributing logic and reason to your actions where there were none. But it didn't take long to realise just how aware of your actions you truly were."

He started chuckling quietly. "You know Yume, sometimes I can't help but feel like you're a tiny adult." He chuckles grew a little louder. "An adult in the body of a child."

His chuckles continued for a while before, he started shaking head. "Oh what am I thinking, I must be going senile faster than I thought."

I kept steady, not wanting him to realise just how nervous I was. He was hitting a little too close to home.

He wiped the remaining traces of tears from his eyes. "Alright! No more of that sad stuff. Come on little missy, let's enjoy our time here." I gave him a dubious look which made him smile wryly. He peeled me off of him and crouched down in front of me, looking me in the eye. "Really, I'll be fine. No need to be so worried."

He cleared some of my messy hair out of my face. "Listen well okay? Sad times, they come and go. They happen even to the best of us. Your parents, me, even you will experience them at some point in your life. When they happen, they will tear you down. You might feel like you've hit rock bottom, like nothing in the world matters anymore.

"But that's okay. Don't let it define you. It doesn't matter how you fall, it's all about how you get back up." He gave me another bright smile. "You live only once Yume, promise me you will live it to its fullest. Promise me that Yume."

"Okay, I promise."

"Good," he said as he stood back up. "How about we start heading back? We don't want to miss dinner. We're having sushi tonight."

"Sushi?" My eyes started shining. I could really use it after such a heavy conversation. "Will there be tuna and salmon?"

"Oh yeah! For sure. Tuna, salmon, snapper, squid, we're getting the full course tonight." He bursted into laughter as I started bouncing with every step. "Oh little missy, you really love seafood don't you?"

"Yup!"


A/N

Happy Lunar New Years guys!

I originally wanted to cover a lot more in this chapter; however, it kept growing and growing and the chapter length started getting unwieldy so I split it. I hope you all enjoy!