Original Publish Date: 11th-January-2016


A/N: This chapter is dedicated to a fan and a regular reviewer who doesn't wish to be named. He knows who he is :)


Chapter 14 – The Butterfly Collector

And I don't care about morals

'Cause the world's insane and we're all to blame anyway

And I don't feel any sorrow

Towards the kings and queens of the butterfly collectors

- The Butterfly Collector, The Jam


Akatsuki Base, Amegakure: Komatsu Sayuri

Orochimaru's macabre chuckling caused yet another shudder to run down Komatsu Sayuri's spine.

There was just something exceptionally creepy about that man; and considering that Akatsuki was entirely made up of freaks, that was saying something.

"It's a shame I cannot utilize the technique that you have a natural aptitude for, my dear." Orochimaru's crooning voice always managed to slither into her intestines and made her want to throw up. She had explained her technique to the Snake summoner, but he, like everybody else was unable to use it. At least he had given up on trying to learn from her, which caused her to breathe a very obvious sigh of relief.

"Have you considered ever trying to imbibe the chakra that you manage to manipulate so wonderfully?"

Her eyes widened with horror. "NO! I had a student who tried that, and he turned to stone! You must never do that!"

The look of supreme condescension that she received actually made her take a step back. He was obviously calling her an idiot without saying a word. It affected her, more so because the… man… in front of her was clearly a genius in every sense of the word, and he had likely forgotten more about chakra than she would ever learn. Still, she stuck to her guns. She had imposed limits on her ability because she was terrified of the consequences should she make a mistake with experimentation. Her erstwhile student was a stark reminder of breaking those limits.

Still, the expression on Orochimaru's face told her that she was missing a trick.

As sinuously as his namesake, however, Orochimaru changed the topic. "And how is your husband doing, my dear? Is he suffering from any unexpected side-effects from his… resurrection? You know I would be happy to take a look at him." The nightmarish smile on his face made her freeze in terror.

"N-no, Orochimaru-sama. H-he is in perfect he-health… never been better", she stammered out through a suddenly dry mouth.

Orochimaru smiled, and that expression caused her to feel a mortal dread she had never thought possible. "I see. If he ever experiences any…symptoms, you will come to me, I trust?"

She had trouble breathing all of a sudden, "O-of course, O-Orochimaru-sama."

"Excellent." Chuckling, Orochimaru sinuously twisted his body into a mockery of a bow "You've been most helpful, Sayuri-chan. I expect I'll be seeing you…soon."

As Orochimaru walked past the stupefied woman, he smirked to himself. One way or another, she would come with him to Otogakure when he finally left Akatsuki. Finding her had been a divine stroke of luck; he was sure she was destined to fall into his hands. He shivered in anticipation when he thought of how he could incorporate her abilities into his Cursed Seal. Using her and Jūgo's chakra together would guarantee him fantastic results.

Combined with Uchiha Itachi's Sharingan, it would make him unstoppable; even in the face of the Rin'negan.

His smile grew wider as he imagined the results of his perfect form. Just a few more days, and he would ambush Itachi and steal his body. Just a few more days, and he would be…perfect.


Konoha: Mitarashi Anko

Mitarashi Anko was a weapon.

She possessed the deadly and beautiful grace of a katana, her sharp edge severing the careless ones who didn't take utmost care while handling her. Her blunt side was no less deadly, for she used her looks to distract, to entice, to blind her prey until it was far too late. She had been genetically blessed with a fantastic figure; to not dress provocatively, especially in her line of work, would be a shame.

Mitarashi Anko despised traitors.

It was truly ironic that half the village thought that she was a traitor. Idiots.

Given what she had suffered at the hands of her traitorous master, it would be impossible not to hate traitors. It was the reason why she worked in the Torture and Interrogation Division of Konoha; to prevent what had happened to her from happening again was her dream, her duty, her obsession. As she picked up her dango (the best food on the planet!), she thought about the nameless blond who she had first heard about when she was paired with him in the finals of the Jōnin tournament. At first, it was professional curiosity; a guy with no name and no past just showing up in the village set off all the red flags in her interrogator's book. Initially, she had thought that he was prime material for being a spy. But now…

Mitarashi Anko had probably fallen in love.

She had denied it to herself, to high heaven and to deep hell, and continued denying it until she was blue in the face, but there was no other reason why she would be thinking of long blond hair, deep blue eyes and a stupid face-mask at random times of the day.

When she had first met him on the arena floor, she had been immediately pleased to find someone who was capable of exchanging verbal barbs with her. The fact that he had made it all the way to the final on merit was nothing to be sniffed at either; but he would not go any further. The victory would be hers, it needed to be hers. She continually had to prove herself after the actions of her traitorous master; this would buy her at-least a few months of goodwill. She took charge of the verbal battle and upon winning, she attacked, confident that her victory was secure.

But then the blond beat her.

When she woke up in the hospital, it wasn't shame that she felt, because all warriors lose battles. The only shame in losing is not learning the lesson it teaches you. She didn't even feel anger, because she had scored more than a glancing blow and she would definitely beat him the next time they fought. No, what she felt was frustration.

The man wore such a horribly clichéd disguise and used such an obviously fake name that she scoffed at the transparent attempt at gaining a 'mysterious' vibe. She scoffed, but she completely fell for it. Log-damnit, fine, she was tantalized by the mysterious blond. And it frustrated her to fall for such easily discernible bait.

She had asked around the village, and nobody knew anything about the mysterious blond, other than the fact that he had simply shown up in the village a few months ago. There were some unsubstantiated rumors about his critical condition, but a couple of months were not enough to recover from such an injury, let alone go on to win a tournament. Still, it wasn't like they ran in the same circles, so she wasn't likely to see him for quite some time, other than fate bringing them together for a mission.

And then fate paired them together for a mission.

She smirked when she realized he was still intimidated by her even as he was attracted to her; that particular reaction never ceased to titillate her. Still, he had proven himself stronger, at least for the moment, so she resigned herself to gathering information about him. A combat mission was the perfect opportunity to do exactly that.

His range of skills impressed her.

Despite the fact that he was on minimal sleep he was fully alert, and his stamina left nothing to be desired. He also fell into the standard Konoha formation perfectly, which meant that he had been trained with the forces of the village at some point.

His Fūinjutsu traps in particular were formidable.

Even as she saw him lay the traps, the silky tones of her former master echoed in her head, 'Never let a Seal Master prepare the field of battle, little serpent. To do so is foolish in the extreme; you may as well slit your own throat and spare him the trouble.'

In the interest of saving time, he didn't lay too many traps, but when the enemies made their appearance they were reduced to less than half their fighting capacity within just a few moments. And then there had been the business with the Thunder Empress; he had fucked her up with some technique that left her quivering on the ground. She really needed to ask him how he did that. The fact that he had apparently used a dangerous ritual on himself that had Tsunade of the Sannin spitting nails only added to his mystique.

To her complete surprise, when she had invited him (with the rest of the team and a couple of extras) with the express purpose of interrogating him about his abilities, she had expected that the task would be a balance between getting him drunk enough to lower his guard, but not drunk enough to put up his guard and leave. Instead, he openly discussed his strengths and ended up teaching her a new technique, for no discernible reason whatsoever. He was strong; likely stronger than her, even though they were approximately of the same age. This caused her some consternation, so she swore she would get stronger and kick his ass the next time they fought.

Then he had done the unthinkable and removed her Cursed Seal.

When he had first seen the Seal and ensconced her in a barrier where no sight and sound could escape and still wrote out the message instead of saying it out loud, she felt her already fragile heart break. She had been an unwitting spy all along, the very thing that most of the villagers had despised her for being. It seemed that she was forever going to be defined by the traitorous actions of the Snake Sannin, no matter that it had been 4 years or so since he had openly been exiled from the village. She felt disgusted and violated in the most spiritually intimate way possible. And then she remembered the first part of the message: the enigmatic blond could free her from the curse.

She was sure there had been a warning about death or a debilitating injury, but she honestly couldn't care less; if there was a way to remove the curse she would grab the chance with both hands, consequences be damned. No, what she wanted to know was if she could trust the blond. When she had finally wiped her tears and faced the nameless wonder, she looked into his eyes and wordlessly beseeched him to take care of her wounded heart. She had never trusted anybody else, not even her best friend Kurenai, after Orochimaru had tossed her aside like a piece of garbage. She had no right to ask the blond, but she had anyway.

And with compassion shining in his deep blue eyes, he had agreed.

She barely remembered anything else from that day, it was mostly a blur followed by a tingle of embarrassment followed by a tortuously generous amount of pain that would have put a massive smile on the face of her colleague, Morino Ibiki. When she had woken up in the hospital and realized that the Cursed Seal was well and truly gone, she had immediately extricated herself and jumped from the window to find her savior and properly 'reward' him.

She was an interrogator and therefore a psychologist, and thus she knew that she had merely fallen victim to 'transference'; i.e. she had transferred all of her positive feelings about Orochimaru towards the blond.

Still, she found him attractive, and he had done something momentous for her without expecting any sort of reward, so she felt justified in climbing all over him and using him for her own pleasure (not to mention returning the favour). She could work through her feelings in the meantime.

As an interrogator she had firsthand experience of transference, but it had always been as the recipient of the feelings, never as the progenitor. Intellectually it was an interesting exercise, to say the least, projecting feelings for one person on to another. In this case, however, the (absolutely fantastic) sex actually served to hasten the emotional development between her and the blond; and firmly establish the two major male influences in her life as separate entities. This was mainly because she had never had naughty thoughts about her traitorous master, despite worshipping the ground he walked on.

She felt bad about the leaving the nameless blond in the dark about this, since he clearly wanted more from their relationship, but it was impossible to explain the situation to him. 'I think I love you because I also love Orochimaru, but not that way' was guaranteed to send him running to the hills. Hence, it was better for her to work through her feelings before opening more of herself to him, despite badly wanting more from their relationship. Clearly, he too wanted more, but she couldn't risk destroying the fragile mental balance she had managed to achieve, so it was better to put off the conversation until a later date, when she had a better handle on her own feelings.

That was also why she always went to his apartment, and never let him sleep over. She wanted to have the freedom to not spend the night with him, even though she wanted to. It would just lead to a conversation that she didn't want to have right now. The first night had been an exception, because she hadn't known where he lived, and she was too exhausted to care. But when she finally woke up the next day and wandered the streets, completely naked underneath her trench coat, she decided that she would find out where he lived and control the pace of their relationship that way. It had taken her a while before she remembered that he had asked Kurenai for training.

She felt insanely jealous about the time her…fuck-buddy was spending with her gorgeous best friend. However, after sitting in on a couple of their training sessions, and using her summons to spy on them on others, she felt safe that Nanashi and Kurenai weren't going around behind her back (not that herself and Nanashi were going out either). Sure, there was some flirting and blushing, and even an occasional drink in the evening, but it never went beyond that. They even talked about the brats they were training! She sniffed, what was so great about that anyway? Kids were snotty, loud, fragile, and made terrible ninjas. It really wasn't hard to pound information into their empty little heads.

She had pretty much warned Kurenai off from the blond the first chance she got, but she knew that people and relationships were complicated. She didn't want them developing feelings for each other; such a thing would have hurt her worse than Orochimaru's betrayal. Thankfully it didn't look like they were, to her relief. She had jokingly suggested a threesome between them, and she was still open to such an activity, but she knew that Kurenai could be very…traditional about such things. Kurenai wasn't a prude, but she had a very strong sense of propriety. Her loss, Anko mused.

Speaking of sex, he was a very thorough lover. She had been right about his inexhaustible stamina, and was glad to take advantage of it. He also possessed a kinky streak a mile wide. That thing with the clones… she shuddered in ecstasy just thinking about it. Being with him was extremely satisfying. She had noticed that he had a thing for her eyes, and her long hair when she let it down. She was seriously considering growing it out just because he seemed to like it. That's not to say that he didn't enjoy her other…attributes. She smirked, no, not by a long shot. Wherever he had learned how to please a woman, they deserved a platter of dango, courtesy Mitarashi Anko.

She sighed. There was no two ways about it. She missed him. He had only been gone for a few days, but she missed him. It wasn't easy to admit, especially for her, but she did. She missed the banter between them, she missed the flirting, she even missed the way he was still scared of her, despite being her lover. She missed the way he let her control the pace during their lovemaking, she missed the way he took control and dominated her; fucked her. She missed annoying him and she missed being annoyed by him. She missed his utter genius at Fūinjutsu; she missed his utter idiocy at things like the Bunny Mission. She even missed the sweet kisses he gave her, especially the last one they shared before he left; though that one was meant as a promise. There really was no way she could avoid the inescapable conclusion. She really was falling in love with the blond idiot. She groaned.

"Are you missing nii-chan?"

She glared at the other blond idiot in her life; one who was looking up at her with a knowing look in his innocent blue eyes. Maybe she should refer to him as the blond brat? That certainly would keep her from confusing the two in her head; especially since they could have passed as true siblings, what with the distinctive whisker marks on their faces. That was something else she missed the blond idiot for; he managed to keep the blond brat in line.

"It's ok, I miss him too." His childish, high pitched voice carried an undeniable gravity as he played with the stick of dango in front of him. She would convert him to the religion of dango or she would die trying dammit!

"He promised that he would send a clone in a week or so, and nii-chan won't break his promise! So you can tell him how much you miss him then."

How pathetic was it that she was being comforted by a 10-year old? And worse, he was succeeding!

"I never said that I missed him", Anko finally replied gruffly. Just because she had admitted it to herself didn't mean she was ready to say it out loud. She had her pride dammit!

Naruto, however, gave her a flat look. "Right, and you've never read a trashy ro-urk!"

With the speed of a striking snake Anko had jammed the stick of dango down Naruto's throat. "You swore you would keep quiet about that!" she hissed like one of her summons. She took a quick look around to see if anybody had overheard their conversation; it could be catastrophic to her image if someone discovered her shame. In hindsight, she should not have underestimated the blond brat's pranking skills; they were truly prodigious.

Naruto coughed as he dislodged the dango from his tongue. "I only promised to keep quiet about it if you admitted that ramen was better than dango! You just bought me Ichiraku ramen instead!"

Thankfully they devolved into their favourite argument about Dango vs. Ramen from there, distracting the blond brat from his perceptive concern. She couldn't believe how transparent she was; even a 10 year old could discern her state of mind by just looking at her. The blond idiot had better appreciate her taking care of the blond brat for him; even though she couldn't admit that she liked spending time with the blond brat. Dammit, she wasn't living in denial!


Konoha: Yūhi Kurenai

Kurenai was surprised to find she missed the daily training with Nanashi.

Well, their training hadn't strictly been daily, per se, more like 3-4 times a week, but it was a fairly regular part of her life over the last few months. To find out that it was suddenly over was…jarring.

The blond had made his way into her life pretty unobtrusively. She had first heard about him from her best friend's vociferous complaining when he had beaten her in the finals of the Jōnin Tournament. Neither of the two achievements were anything to sniff at, but she never thought she would actually meet the man. And then Anko had invited her for a night out, and she had met the enigma who had caused Anko to spit out nails.

Nanashi was friendly and easy-going, and she was pleased to find that he had grown up with a strong feminine influence in his life; it was obvious in the way that he interacted with both herself and Yūgao. Even at that initial meeting she could see the sparks flying between him and Anko. He was knowledgeable and passionate, knew how to take a joke and where to draw the line when teasing someone else. He was good-looking as well and he didn't seem to have a disfiguring injury underneath the mask; she inferred this by the way he touched his mask.

It came as a complete surprise when he had asked to be trained by her.

She knew that her Genjutsu skills bordered on prodigious, but she was still a relative unknown Chūnin. And yet, Nanashi had treated her as if she was a complete master at her craft. It was a real ego boost, and validation of her skills as a kunoichi; not to mention that he happily traded his own knowledge in return. Taking the bargain he offered her was really a no-brainer, especially when he had proved his own skills by removing Anko's Cursed Seal.

She had harbored a few idle fantasies about the blonde, her imagination occasionally running wild about the kind of 'training' they would undergo out in the woods of the training grounds, but they all came to a halt after Anko laid her claim on the enigmatic blond. Sure, she knew that Anko's offer to 'share' wasn't in complete jest (it was far from the first time Anko had made such a proposal), but she just couldn't imagine doing that with her best friend and her boyfriend.

When she realized that she hadn't left the village for an extended period ever since she had started training Nanashi, she had thought that there was something strange behind it. What had he said to the Hokage to get her to stay in the village? She hadn't been in the village this long since her own Chūnin exams! But a few innocuous questions revealed that he had no idea what she was talking about. This could only mean that the Hokage felt that it was imperative for him to get training from her. For what purpose, she didn't know, but if it was sanctioned by the Hokage then she had no problems in complying with the order.

And yet, the most surprising thing about their entire arrangement was the fact that 'their kids' had taken to training together.

When she had first laid eyes on the tiny Hyūga heiress she had been reminded of herself as a young girl so strongly that it was almost painful. A few discreet inquiries had revealed that the poor girl had lost her mother, and her father was a harsh taskmaster, to put it mildly. She couldn't help but take pity on the girl and approached the rather intimidating Hyūga Hiashi, offering to train the girl with a gentle hand. The Head of the Hyūga Clan had immediately washed his hands off his eldest daughter, stating that the Hyūga had no use for a weak successor. Whether the man meant it as negative reinforcement, or whether he truly didn't care about his firstborn Kurenai had never been able to discern. What she did observe was that it caused Hinata to further retreat into her shell.

She had taken the girl under her wing, and tried to get Hinata to open up by using a lot of positive reinforcement and gentle encouragement, but it was slow going. Hinata simply didn't have the drive to improve herself, despite Kurenai's best efforts. She had been at a loss; how had she herself made it out of her shell?

The answer was so obvious that she had completely overlooked it: she had Anko.

It hadn't been clear to her until the very first time Nanashi brought Naruto to train with her and Hinata. Seeing the loudmouth braggart and the shy wallflower together caused her to have a physical start, so strong was the parallel between the relationship of herself and Anko and the burgeoning friendship of Hinata and Naruto. It hadn't been easy at all initially, mostly because Naruto had no filter in his brain whatsoever and said the first thing that popped into his head. He called Hinata weird, dark and shy to her face, causing the poor girl to sink further into depression, but he later claimed that he liked people with those characteristics. She honestly didn't know what to think of the knucklehead, but it was easy to see that the blond was far lonelier than even the Hyūga heiress. The sheer happiness on his face whenever he was given even the smallest compliment was heartbreaking.

And of course, Naruto and Anko got along like a house on fire. She chose that particular metaphor for a reason: she was quite sure that the two of them together actually would set a house on fire for some stupid reason.

But of course, all this further proved that Nanashi had the prescience of a sage. She had no idea how he had foreseen the way Hinata and Naruto would end up helping each other, and not just with Academy lessons. In fact, that just gave the last thing he had said to her before he left for his mission that much more gravitas: 'I'm expecting great things from you, Kurenai-san... I expect you to have made Jōnin by the time I return.'

That was undeniably the greatest compliment she had received from anyone, bar none. Once again, she wondered what would have happened between the two of them if Anko hadn't made her interest clear…but it was pointless. She sighed. Maybe she should go back to waiting for Asuma? His stint with the Twelve Ninja Guardians was going to end soon. In the meantime, though… She smiled.

She had to find out how to get past Nanashi's Genjutsu nullifying seal.

That should keep her busy.


A Few Days Later, Unknown Location: Orochimaru

He had failed.

Him! The man with an incalculable genius, the one who would escape the clutches of death, the one who would discover the secrets behind chakra and every technique; he had failed!

If Orochimaru had not been present for every single mortifying second, he would have refused to believe it.

He hadn't just been defeated, he had been humiliated. Outclassed.

He had been defeated by a simple D-ranked Kanashibari (Temporary Paralysis) Ninjutsu.

Just the mere thought made him burn with rage.

He was a Sannin, an S-rank shinobi who had earned his place at the very top of the Ninja food chain after decades of hard work and enhancing his prodigious skills…and he had been taken down by a 16 year old using a basic technique. It was the most derogatory thing he had ever suffered; he was not one to suffer such denigrations lightly.

Uchiha Itachi had been so proud of his Sharingan, believing it to be unbeatable. Well, he would show the arrogant Uchiha his place. There was one other set of Sharingan running around in Konoha. He would return an insult with another; he would kidnap the Uchiha Sasuke, take over his body and force Itachi to fight against his brother's body.

When he had still been in the Village Hidden in the Leaves, Orochimaru had deliberately stayed away from kidnapping people from Clans for his experiments. Doing such a thing would have immediately brought heavy scrutiny, and in such a circumstance his experiments would not have remained secret for long. This time, however, he was going to throw all caution to the wind; he would tear the village apart to get to his prize.

Although…

Orochimaru smirked. Perhaps there was a better way. To catch a fly, one could also use honey as bait. Itachi had already primed his younger brother with so much delicious hatred; it would be a shame not to take advantage of the situation. All he needed to do was dangle power in front of the younger Uchiha, and Sasuke would come running to him of his own volition. As a bonus, it would undoubtedly cause Itachi far more strife; a true win-win situation for himself. Orochimaru's smirk grew wider.

Even his failures turned out to be for the best. But such was the destiny of the immortal Snake Sannin.


Back in Amegakure: Akatsuki Meeting

"Orochimaru has betrayed us."

There was utter silence at the proclamation. Everybody's eyes went to the Leader of the Akatsuki, to the bloodlessly pale features of the man only known to them as Pein. His rippled eyes showed no emotion; neither did any part of his body or his face. One might as well have been discussing the weather for all the reaction he showed.

After an eternity of silence he finally proclaimed, "Unforgivable". He shifted his gaze to the spectral figure of Sasori. "He was your partner. Where is he likely to hide?"

Sasori was another figure who showed no reaction to the betrayal of his erstwhile partner. "He has hidden bases all over the Elemental Nations. I only saw two in my entire time with him, and I have no doubt that they will be destroyed by the time we reach there. He is very careful and as slippery as his namesake."

Almost all the other members reacted to that statement. Kisame gave his usual bloodthirsty grin; Itachi merely looked straight at Sasori; Konan shifted her gaze to Pein whereas Kakuzu turned to Zetsu. "Can't you track that traitorous snake?"

Zetsu made a weird…chittering noise, causing Komatsu Sayuri to shudder. Her dislike for the weird plant-tree-man-thing was only eclipsed by her revulsion for the former Konoha missing-nin. Now that Orochimaru was gone, the cannibalistic Zetsu took top spot on her list. Zetsu, having expressed his distressful sound, spoke up, "He can somehow block us from tracking him. We tried as soon as Itachi-senpai reported his attack, but he was long gone by then. No doubt he hides like a worm, fearful of our wrath."

Pein's attention had been drawn to Kakuzu, however. "Where is your partner?"

"…I will need a new partner, Leader-sama."

Kisame's guffaws were the only audible acknowledgement of the statement. Once more, Sayuri shuddered. These weren't men, these were monsters wearing flesh. How had she fallen in their midst?

Kakuzu, likely to deflect attention from the fact that he had killed yet another partner, posed the next logical question, "Should we suspend our activities and track down Orochimaru?"

It was a good question. Akatsuki still didn't have enough capital for their activities, and tracking down Orochimaru would seriously eat into their mission quota, which meant that it was not a profitable course of action to take.

However, this did not mean that Orochimaru could be allowed to get away scot-free. One did not disrespect God and live to tell the tale.

"We cannot afford to halt our operations; especially now since we need two new members." The glare Pein sent towards Kakuzu was enough to cow him into submission. "However, we cannot let Orochimaru get away with disrespecting us so blatantly." Pein turned back to Sasori. "What are Orochimaru's weaknesses?"

Sasori spoke in his usual unemotional gruff tone, "He's prodigious in all the shinobi disciples: ninjutsu, taijutsu, genjutsu, kenjutsu. That said, I am reasonably confident that any one of us could defeat him in one-on-one combat. A single team of two members would be enough to guarantee our victory. However…" Sasori paused, an idea coming to the forefront of his mind.

He took a few moments to flesh out his thought process. "He once confessed to me that he hates his mentor, the Sandaime Hokage. Since he has such strong feelings about his sensei, it would be a shame to let them go to waste. I'm reasonably confident he can be goaded into attacking the old goat. Why should we waste our time tracking him down and killing him when we can manipulate him and send him to his own doom instead?"

Pein barely took a moment before expressing his approval. "How will you go about such a task?"

Sasori's unemotional voice gained a definite note of smugness. "Well, it just so happens that I have a…spare part lying around that can be used for such a purpose."

Pein nodded approvingly, "Once you have put your plan in motion, I have a possible replacement for your partner. Team up with Itachi and Kisame and track down the Iwa missing-nin known as Deidara." Pein then turned to Kakuzu and spoke chillingly, "I'm tired of your antics. Find your own partner, one you can refrain from killing." Power plays between Akatsuki members were usually not this blatant, but it was obvious that Sasori had gained the favour of the Leader, whereas Kakuzu was in the shitter.

"Yes, Leader-sama." The centenarian muttered, still disgruntled at being ordered around by a brat less than half his age.

"Dismissed." The cold tone of Pein ended the Akatsuki meeting, causing Sasori to open his wooden eyes and find himself in a cave far from Amegakure. He immediately used his chakra strings to move his wooden body and started to make his way to Konoha, since there was no need to wait. If there was one thing Sasori hated, it was waiting.

It was time to re-activate Yakushi Kabuto.


Author's Note: Not knowing exactly why Orochimaru attacked Konoha was one of the things that really bugged me…until I figured it out. There was NO WAY that Akatsuki, and Pein in particular, would let someone just walk out from his little cult. But how do you bait the man who has everything?

The answer: Revenge.

As far as I am aware, nobody else has mentioned this in any other fanfiction; these are my own musings. It also neatly ties up exactly how Kabuto and Sasori were involved, and it just explains SO MUCH! So, this is my contribution to the Naruto fandom. You're welcome :)

I also have a similarly unique thought about the Uchiha Massacre that I will be sharing in a future chapter. So be on the lookout for that!

I finally added the Humor tag to the story. After Rockura, The Soba Noodle Guild, The Bunny Mission and the Barrel Experience, there is no way it doesn't belong there.

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!?

I had wanted to write an angsty story like 'The Nine Broken Mirrors', which is my absolute favourite Naruto fanfic (fave HP fic is 'Prince of the Dark Kingdom')! I had wanted to write a story that made you want to cry and feel hopeless and still want more, but I've failed! I've made you laugh instead! How did this happen!? AARGH!

A friend of mine posted the following on Facebook: Is it too offensive if I want to change the name of Star Wars to "Keeping up with the Skywalkers"?

I told him he was a horrible person and should be ashamed of himself, but I laughed. I laughed.

** WARNING: STAR WARS SPOILERS**

WHOA! WHAT UNBELIVABLE FUN!

I totally called Kylo Ren being the son of Luke/Leia; I told my brother as much during the first few minutes, and gained a terrifying glare and a loud 'Shut the fuck up'.

He got me back later in the movie though, by telling me that Rey was Luke's daughter. Sniff. Asshole.

What I had really wanted to see from the movie was the acknowledgement that the dark side is not always evil. From the last scene, where Luke is dressed in Grey, I can safely say that it is on that track. This makes me very happy. DARK SIDE FTW!

Also, the moment of the movie was no doubt when Kylo Ren screams "TRAITOR!" at Finn. Oof. The hypocrisy/truth sent chills down my spine.

And how badass is Kylo Ren! About freaking time we had a DarkSide anti-hero who just wants to be bad! None of this wishy-washy commitment-issues-infested-Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker bullshit: "Oh no! My wife is dying! I should turn to the Dark Side to save her!" "Oh no! My son is dying! I should turn to the Light Side to save him!" Pssh. You want to be bad? Kill your father. That's it. Badass. Kylo Ren officially owns the Imperial March as far as I am concerned.

Also, I loved the fact that it showed the juxtaposition with Luke: Luke redeemed his father at the moment of truth, whereas Ben/Kylo Ren killed his father for more DarkSide power. It shows the path not taken: If Luke had turned to the DarkSide, he would have been pitted against his sister.

Just like Kylo Ren will face his (cousin) sister Rey.

**SPOILERS OVER**

Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I enjoyed replying to every single one of the 100 reviews for that last chapter (other than guest/PM disabled). I've noticed that you guys tend to respond more to negative reinforcement…is it because my story and it's warnings attracts those of a more masochistic bent of mind? What's that? You're not a masochist? Really? Prove it! Drop a review right now and prove me wrong! :D