Original Publish Date: 20th-October-2017


A/N: R.I.P. Hugh Hefner. You were The Man.


Chapter 28 – Outside

All those times

That I tried

My intentions

Full of pride

And I waste

More time than anyone

- Outside, Staind


Konoha Academy: Hatake Kakashi


The first time Hatake Kakashi saw Team 7 together, he froze in shock.

It was like looking at a fractured mirror of his own Genin team; the parallel could not have been more flagrant even if it dressed up and paraded in the flamboyant green monstrosity known as Gai's spandex jumpsuit. The traumatized boy who senselessly saw his parents' corpses when his age could still be counted on two hands, check. Subsequent training until he thought he was better than the rest of his team, check. The girl in love with said aloof genius, check. The idiot deadlast who hated the genius's guts with a passion, check. The enigmatic and powerful sensei, check. The only minor difference from his own cell was that Naruto wasn't in love with Sakura… well, not anymore at any rate.

He had received their files and surveilled them individually over the last week, and even observed them via the Hokage's crystal ball a couple of hours ago; but it wasn't until he saw them together that the uncanny resemblance was driven home.

So strongly had the equivalence slapped him in the face, that he didn't even notice Naruto's rather hopeless attempt at a prank until the duster had fallen and hit his head, having fallen once he had opened the door.

If it had been a legitimate assassination attempt, it would have left Kakashi dead as a doornail.

There was a somewhat awkward silence as two children looked him askance, wondering how he had fallen for Naruto's prank, while Naruto himself laughed and pointed at Kakashi.

"My first impression of you… is that you're hopeless."

Hatake Kakashi lied.

It was an action that he was intimately familiar with.

He ignored the resulting sputtering of his sensei's son, the narrowing of the Uchiha's eyes, and the startled look on the cute little girl's face.

"Meet me at the roof in five minutes."

Kakashi would need every single one of those minutes to regain his composure.

He had a horrible premonition that he was going to end up passing this iteration of Team 7.

This was not a good thing, despite what the Genin-hopefuls thought. Team 7 didn't have the best history when it came to surviving members.

If, by some miracle, they did pass, he could only hope that they avoided the misfortune that seemingly befell every iteration of Team 7 (barring the very first).

Kakashi's role in the team was clear.

He would do his damndest to keep them together, or die trying.


10 Minutes Later, Konoha Academy Roof: Hatake Kakashi


"My name is Uzumaki Naruto! I like my nii-chan, ramen- especially cup ramen, Hinata, Fūinjutsu, Iruka-sensei, Kurenai-sensei… and Scary Snake Lady, I guess. My dislikes are the 3 minutes it takes for cup-ramen to cook, the Soba Noodle Guild, Scary Snake Lady, people who betray Konoha, and…" a dark glower was shot in Sasuke's direction, one that wasn't missed by anyone on that rooftop. "My hobbies are comparing different kinds of cup ramen, experimenting with Fūinjutsu, even though nii-chan says it's really dangerous and I shouldn't do it… umm, pretend I didn't say that. I used to pull pranks, but now that I'm a shinobi I'm going to stop them and work hard until I become Hokage!"

Kakashi stared.

That… wasn't what he had been expecting.

The part about Anko, sure (because 'Scary Snake Lady' could hardly be anyone else); Kakashi had paid Anko a 'visit' after her snake had accidentally bitten Naruto. (That debacle wasn't going to happen again under his watch.)

The part about Fūinjutsu… not so much.

Experimental seals were extremely dangerous. It was the kind of thing that someone with Naruto's seeming mental capacity should be kept as far away as possible. The next continent was far too close for comfort. And yet…

Was Naruto secretly a genius who had been hiding his true potential all along?

.

.

Nah.

Especially since he believed in something like the Soba Noodle guild (Kakashi had laughed himself sick when he overheard the Ichiraku's discussing it.)

He didn't miss the small but proud smile on Sakura's face when Naruto had spoken about the Sealing Arts; and he understood exactly where Naruto got the confidence to experiment with seals. While still an unqualified Academy graduate, Haruno Sakura was a prodigy when it came to academically oriented topics; which hopefully meant that under her supervision Naruto wouldn't accidentally turn Konoha into a scorched crater billowing strangely coloured smoke. Still, it would be for the best when the other resident seal master of Konoha returned from his extended peacekeeping mission to Kiri (being a former ANBU captain and one of the most respected Jōnin meant that the occasional village secret found its way into his ears.)

But now that the introductions were over, it was time to get down to work.

"Be at training grounds 7 tomorrow morning at 5 a.m. for your real Genin exams."

Their resulting expressions were hilarious.


The Next Morning (far, far later than 5 a.m.), Konoha Training Ground 7: Hatake Kakashi


"YOU'RE LATE!"

As life's simple pleasures went, there was little that could beat the twin cries of righteous outrage first thing in the morning, as far as Hatake Kakashi was concerned. The third member of the clique elected to express his dissatisfaction with a glower, but it was no less potent than his teammates' evocation.

"Hmm… a black cat crossed my path, so I had to take the long way around."

There was little that could beat the sound of outrage in the morning, but three incredulous expressions because of his ridiculous excuse on the faces of prospective Genin was one of them.

Now thoroughly amused (and somewhat disappointed; though it was unfair to expect more from kids who had barely graduated the academy) Kakashi put his hand inside his vest with a sense of occasion, causing the children to tense up. He then suddenly pulled out a wind-up alarm clock, causing the three of them to flinch as he cheerfully set the alarm for noon and placed it on top of the log that one of them was going to end up tied to.

And then Kakashi performed the time-honoured tradition of introducing three 12-year-old child soldiers to the bell-test.

The reason that Kakashi chose the bell test went beyond simple tradition. The conclusion (that you had to work with each other to win) wasn't a hard one to reach… for experienced ninja. For a group of pre-teens facing effectively their first high-pressure situation, on the other hand, it was a fantastic way to separate the wheat from the chaff.

Because the bell test had never been about testing the ingenuity or the guts of the Genin hopefuls.

It was about testing their characters.

See, children are inherently selfish creatures. Either they are well-adjusted, which usually means they are looked after; or they are not, which means they look out for themselves. In the former case, they usually do not know how to handle conflict; in the latter case, conflict is all they know.

In both cases, children consider themselves the center of the universe.

In both cases, children setting aside their common differences to work towards a common goal is nearly impossible (just ask any school teacher.)

Unless the children possess exceptional moral fiber.

Working together despite their differences, especially when the mission objective called for a willing sacrifice, was the kind of solution most children would never stumble upon by accident. They had to possess a certain mindset to even consider that line of thought in the first place. And Kakashi refused to teach any student who didn't possess that exceptional moral fiber. After all, every Hokage had come from Team 7 (or founded it).

That was the reason why Sarutobi never pushed Kakashi to take a Genin team, despite the promise shown by many of the previous individual candidates. The legacy of Team 7 wasn't one that could be taken lightly. The line connecting each iteration of Team 7 was unbroken since the time of Konoha's founding, and Kakashi would ensure that only the worthiest would inherit it, no matter how many students he had to fail in the process; even if that number included his sensei's son.

Well… that and it was hilarious to see their expressions when he told them that he wouldn't let them eat until they got a bell.

Kakashi's tone was light as he explained the rules regarding bell-test, but the steel underlying his words ensured that the Academy graduates took them seriously. So seriously, in fact that Naruto withdrew a kunai and attacked him before he even gave the signal to start.

"Now now," Kakashi said kindly a few seconds later, holding Naruto's own kunai- along with the hand it was held in- to the back of his prospective student's head to emphasize his point, "let's not get overexcited."

He knew by the way that his trainees' eyes widened that none of them could track him when he really began to move.

"Begin!"

And then Kakashi was alone in the clearing.

Well, at least the kids weren't completely hopeless at hiding themselves…

… a moment later, Kakashi realized that he was not, in fact, alone in the clearing.

Standing with crossed arms and wearing an expression that was meant to be resolute (but just come across as bratty), was the orange-clad Uzumaki Naruto.

"All right! Let's have a match fair and square!"

Kakashi gave Naruto a deadpan look. "You're a weird one, aren't you?"

Naruto yelled out his challenge and ran full tilt towards Kakashi in a frontal attack, which was a foolish proposition for most Jōnin- let alone an untrained Genin- when Kakashi dramatically shoved his hand into his pouch…

…and whipped it out.

Naruto- who had aborted his charge as soon as he saw Kakashi reach inside his pouch- looked confused at the sight of the glorious Icha Icha. "Um… um… why did you take out a book?"

"Hmm? Well… I got curious as to how the plot will develop." At Naruto's continued confusion, Kakashi deliberately antagonized him further, "Don't worry, it will be the same whether I read this or not."

Kakashi absently thought that he could see Anko's point. Tormenting Naruto was definitely going to be one of his new favorite pastimes; the kid was comedy gold. (Kakashi deliberately didn't acknowledge the fact that this meant he had already mentally passed this team.)

Naruto- now brimming with righteous indignation- tried to attack Kakashi again. This tied in nicely to what Kakashi wanted to do next. "Lesson number one: Taijutsu!" Kakashi blocked a fist, then ducked underneath a roundhouse kick, before he disappeared from the blond's field of vision entirely, having maneuvered Naruto into a position where both his teammates could see what was about to happen.

He deliberately paused behind Naruto with his hands locked in a seal that looked scarily like the Tora (tiger). While both the 'hidden' students recognized the seal, the girl realized (to his relief) the prospective danger that he seemed to be in and yelled out a warning. "Naruto! Get out of there! You'll die!"

"Huh?" Naruto looked at his pink haired teammate, his stance loosening out of sheer confusion; having not sensed the Jōnin behind himself at all.

"A shinobi should not let an enemy get behind him multiple times, idiot."

A panicked sound escaped Naruto as he finally realized the danger he was in.

"Konohagakure Furui Taijutsu no Ougi: Senin Goroshi (Konoha Hidden Taijutsu Technique: A Thousand Years of Pain!)"

And then Naruto was launched into the air, screaming as if… well… as if something had just been unexpectedly shoved up his butt.

He distinctly heard the Uchiha boy mutter something about idiots. Feeling vaguely offended, he decided to make the Uchiha's lesson 'memorable' as well.

While he was musing about how he would rub the arrogant boy's nose in the dirt, a sudden 'pop' derailed his thought process.

The airborne 'Naruto' who had been screaming while clutching his violated behind had suddenly vanished in a cloud of smoke.

Kakashi blinked.

He hadn't even realized that he had been dealing with a Kage Bunshin. He had been watching the kids since they first showed up, bleary-eyed at 5 in the morning. There had been no opportunity for Naruto to swap himself with a clone. Which meant that Naruto had made the clone and sent it in his stead, either out of laziness or on an intelligence gathering mission. (Both were attitudes that Kakashi could condone.)

An aborted outraged cry came from the forest as the dispelled clone's memory returned to its user. So, it had been an intelligence gathering mission after all. And Kakashi had never even suspected the real Naruto's presence in the forest.

He upgraded his perception the blond's mental capability. Clearly, the Academy teachers were slipping if they had marked Naruto as dead last. The sort of thinking Naruto had just demonstrated was worthy of Chūnin, not an untrained Academy graduate. (Well, he had been hounded by Anko for years, so maybe it was simple survival instinct.)

But this wouldn't do at all. The entire point of starving and humiliating the kids was so that he could see how they reacted when pushed out of their comfort zone.

He sighed. He would have to up his game when dealing with the blond, it seemed.


12:05 p.m., Konoha Training Ground 7: Hatake Kakashi


5 minutes after the alarm bell rang, the four prospective members of Team 7 were once again gathered near the Memorial stone. Sakura was tied to the log, Naruto was tied up with so much rope that he looked like a blond worm (he was surprisingly hard to pin down), and Sasuke looked like he had been scrabbling in the dirt all day (which he had, after being buried up to the neck).

Kakashi himself, by contrast, appeared as pristine as he had when he left his apartment that morning.

"Well, after that performance, all I can say is that none of you need to worry about returning to the Academy."

Just as the smiles began to lift the faces of the children, and hope began to rise in their eyes, Kakashi ruthlessly crushed it. "You should give up being shinobi altogether!" Kakashi said brutally.

After a moment of stunned silence, Naruto, as ever, burst out in outrage. "We couldn't get a bell, but why should we quit being ninjas!?"

"It's because you're kids who are playing at being ninjas."

And that apparently was too much for Sasuke, who immediately attacked Kakashi with a snarl of rage. But a tired, hungry Academy graduate was never going to be a match for a Jōnin, no matter how strongly he felt about being called a child. Just to make his point absolutely clear, he made sure to sit on Sasuke with his foot pushing Sasuke's face into the dirt.

"You think being a ninja is easy?" Kakashi growled, his entire countenance as menacing as he could make it without releasing any killing intent. Given the fearful looks on the faces of Naruto and Sakura, and the stilling of Sasuke's movement underneath him, Kakashi's message was being heard loud and clear.

"None of you looked underneath the underneath. This test was never about the bells."

Kakashi then explained the true purpose behind the bell test, his narrowed eye picking up every single twitch of the three children. Not even when Sakura asked an intelligent question did he stop his study of their reactions. And once he was sure that they understood the concept of teamwork, he finally moved on to their individual criticisms.

"Sakura! All you did was run around like a headless chicken, confused about whether to run towards Naruto or Sasuke for help!" The girl's face turned red with embarrassment, but Kakashi had already moved on to his next target. "Naruto. At least you showed a modicum of ability at the start-" Sasuke twitched under Kakashi's foot at the minor compliment to Naruto, "- but all you did was fruitlessly try to draw me into a trap, even when it was clear that it was beyond your ability. And you-" With a small twitch of his foot to indicate the boy underneath him, "-all you did was assume that your teammates would be a burden and did everything yourself."

Kakashi observed all three children, hunger and humiliation serving their purpose to bring their emotions to the surface. He had filed away their reactions ever since the test began, and his conclusion was unmistakable. The tension between Naruto and Sasuke wasn't merely schoolboy rivalry; it was genuine hatred. This meant that they could never work together satisfactorily.

Which meant that this team had already failed.

But he could still impart a few lessons. He reached into his pouch, withdrew a kunai and placed it at Sasuke's jugular. "Sakura! Kill Naruto or else Sasuke dies!" Terror and confusion filled the faces of the two kids not underneath him.

He withdrew his knife from Sasuke's neck, and watched intently as both Naruto and Sakura slumped in relief. Neither of them realized that they had just failed yet another test. Neither of them had considered that this situation was eerily common while fighting an enemy. They simply thought that Kakashi was messing with their heads and thought that this could never happen to them in the field.

But Kakashi knew better. Firsthand, no less.

Throughout his explanation of the bell test and his description of the Memorial Stone, Kakashi never let his true feelings show in his face or his voice. He mourned the loss of a team that could potentially have been as great as the Sannin. He lamented the fact that he was going to fail his sensei's son. But there was nothing else to be done.

He went through the motions of having had a change of heart and offered them a second chance, but he knew that he would have to fail them in a few minutes. Whatever his instincts told him, they deserved a chance. He cut Naruto loose, warned the boys not to feed Sakura, then vanished from the children's sight with a light step and a heavy heart.

He had done his part. Whether they passed or failed was up to them.

He heard the scraping sounds of the bento boxes opening, smelled the scent of the food as it was uncovered. And then he heard the unmistakable sound of Haruno Sakura's stomach growling with hunger. This was the moment of truth.

One of the bento boxes stopped making noise. Kakashi didn't have to look to imagine the furtive glances Naruto was making while looking for Kakashi. "Here, Sakura-chan. Have some quickly before he comes back", Naruto whispered loudly.

"Hn. Why are you bothering? You heard Kakashi, she's useless."

Kakashi's shoulders dropped as the inevitable came to pass. He heard the quickly in-drawn breath from Sakura, and could see her green eyes filling with tears in his mind's eye.

"You… you prick! Can you stop being a complete bastard for one minute!?" Naruto's outraged voice rang out in the clearing.

"Why should I bother sugar-coating the truth? Even if she eats, she's not going to be much help. You and I will have to do the heavy lifting."

"That doesn't mean you can stomp all over her feelings! She's doing the best she can! She's really smart, we can use her help!"

Sasuke scoffed, and Naruto grew even more enraged at his casual dismissal of Sakura's worth. "You selfish asshole! It's not like Kakashi said you were any better!"

"Yes, you would remember that wouldn't you, with your modicum of ability," Sasuke sneered.

"You don't hear me crowing about it, do you!?"

"Isn't that what you're doing right now, dobe?"

At that, Naruto completely lost whatever sense of decorum he had. "You know what? It's a good thing that your parents are dead, because they would be ashamed of you!"

A shocked silence fell in the clearing, and Kakashi had to force himself not to take a step towards the Academy graduates. Naruto had gone too far, but it wasn't Kakashi's responsibility to resolve his disputes. Not yet, anyway.

After a few seconds of silence, Naruto spoke uncertainly. "I… I didn't mean that… I'm sorry… I'm hungry and tired and… no." There was a scraping sound as Naruto replaced the lid of the bento and then a shuffling sound. When Naruto's voice came next, it was much closer to the ground; he had likely performed the dogeza. "I said something horrible to you. I apologize. Please forgive me."

For a long minute, there was only the sound of breathing. Even Sakura's silent sobs had stopped.

But Naruto was the one who broke the silence he had affected. "Why do you hate me so much, Sasuke?" His voice sounded raw, pained. Kakashi instinctively leaned closer to listen. "We were the only orphans in our class. We always understood each other's pain, even though we never spoke about it. But when nii-chan came into my life, you started to hate me. I thought that you, of all people, could have been happy for me. I thought you would have understood that I wouldn't have to be alone anymore. We could have been friends, Sasuke. He could have been your nii-chan too."

Well. Well.

This… was unexpected. And, rather inappropriately, Kakashi thought that it was much better entertainment than reading Icha Icha, as he usually did at this stage of the Genin exam selection process, where the result was a foregone conclusion.

There was a movement from the clearing, and a resulting gasp from Sakura. "Sa- Sasuke-kun?"

Kakashi heard the scowl in Sasuke's voice. "The idiot is right. Eat quickly. I don't sense Kakashi around."

Kakashi could hear Naruto's beaming grin from his position on the ground. A smile graced his own lips, before he schooled his expression. This… He could work with this. It was time for the last, and most theatrical part of the test, but Kakashi no longer had any doubts that Team 7 would pass it.

"But… I can't eat with my hands all tied up." Sakura was crying again, but these sounded like happy tears.

There was a moment of silence, where Kakashi imagined Sasuke scowling, before Naruto scrambled up. "I'll feed you, Sakura-chan!" The happiness in his voice was almost painful to hear.

As soon as Kakashi heard swallowing, he burst into the clearing with a burst of smoke and gale-like winds. "You three!" Kakashi thundered. He performed a few hand seals and ominous black thunderclouds seemingly covered the skies, lightning barely restrained in their dark depths. "You broke the rule! Are you prepared for the punishment!?"

To his hidden delight, both the boys had instinctively fallen into positions defending the prone Sakura from the threat. (Though Naruto holding the bento box like a weapon ruined the image of a gallant protector.)

The shaking ground served its purpose in rattling the kids, but Naruto managed to stutter out through chattering teeth, "But…"

The shaking of the ground stopped in response to Naruto's stutter. "Hmm?" Kakashi asked, lowering his joined hands.

"But… But! But! You said…" Naruto looked at his teammates, hoping one of them could put his feelings into words.

"We're a three-man team, right?" Sasuke said, with a glance at both of his teammates.

Sakura, wide-eyed, looked at Sasuke and Naruto in turn, before looking back at Kakashi. "We three are one."

Naruto completed the exchange of glances with both his teammates. "Yes! What they said!"

"You three are one, eh?" Kakashi moved closer, and inwardly exulted as neither Naruto nor Sasuke abandoned their positions defending Sakura. Three identical scared-but-resolute expressions greeted him.

Which meant that there was only one thing left to do. With great satisfaction, Kakashi spoke the words he had been dying to say for years.

"You pass!"


One Month Later, Konoha Mission Office: Hatake Kakashi


With regards to Team 7, Kakashi was… whelmed.

They hadn't been a disappointment, precisely. They were talented kids who quickly adapted to the teamwork exercises he had set them. How to defend a single stationary target, how to pursue a fleeing enemy, how to guard each other's backs when faced with multiple opponents- these were skills that Genin their age needed to learn. And they had indeed learned them, to Kakashi's satisfaction. They were doing as well as could be expected of Genin in peacetime. And yet… they hadn't blown away his expectations, the way he had half-hoped, half-expected.

No, the problem wasn't the skills and exercises of the Genin. It was the kids themselves.

The day he had passed them, he had seen the same fire burning in their eyes. That day he had seen three people who would depend on each other and support each other even as the world fell apart around them. That day he had seen three people who would die for each other.

Since that day, there had been no sign of those three people.

Sure, they didn't hesitate when guarding each other's backs. Yes, they ate together and didn't balk at spending time with each other. And yet, there was a distance between them.

Sasuke hadn't exactly accepted Naruto's apology the day of the bell test, leading to an uneasy sort of truce between them. Sakura had a pained look whenever she thought Sasuke wasn't looking, after the boy's harsh words to her. And even between Naruto and Sakura, who had been friends and mutual students of Fūinjutsu before Team 7, there had been some tension. After they had split apart, Sakura had spoken to Naruto privately and thanked him for standing up for her, kissed him on the cheek and told him that she wasn't going to be useless again. She had since stepped up her physical conditioning, but she had a long way to go.

Maybe he had romanticized what he had seen, the day of the bell test? Maybe he had seen what he wanted to see, and ignored reality?

No. He had been prepared to fail them; in fact, he had been seconds away from doing so when Naruto had somehow bungled them over the line.

Then why weren't they gelling together? Why weren't they working like they had the day of the bell test? He was responsible for turning them into a flawlessly functioning unit, but he didn't know how. He was used to training the uber-professional ANBU, not Academy graduates.

Maybe he could try some of the exercises Minato-sensei had used on his iteration of Team 7? But they were more-or-less the same ones he was trying now. Maybe he should try being antagonistic? Give the team something to bond over, the mutual hatred of their ruthless sensei? But no… that wasn't Kakashi's style. Not to mention that Naruto already had that crazy sensei in the form of Anko.

Kakashi was considering asking the other Jōnin for their perspectives when they walked into the Mission Office to pick up their D-rank for the day. He mentally rolled his eyes at the petty games being played by Madam Shinji, the Daimyō's wife. Petty the games may be, but they were the only way she had to express her frustration at her imprisonment; and they served an important reminder to both him and the Hokage about the perpetual knife at their backs. The Genin in front of him bought her vapid act; but he wouldn't clue them in. Observing the fact that a game was being played was an important lesson; one that wouldn't be relevant unless they noticed it for themselves. He wouldn't do them the disservice of not letting them think for themselves.

Once they had officially completed their mission, Naruto threw a tantrum about the D-rank missions they were assigned next, which Kakashi really should have expected. It wasn't like Kakashi enjoyed D-ranks, but, as the Hokage explained, they were the best way for a new team to learn about each other's strengths and personalities.

Naruto, rather than listen to his military superior, had instead pulled out a scroll with an unfinished Fūinjutsu. He tried to conscript Sakura into discussing the best way to tie the seal together, but the girl had the sense to be embarrassed by Naruto's childish actions in front of the Hokage. She tried to ignore Naruto, but that just drove him to distraction even further.

Kakashi knew that the Hokage was going to take him to task later about the lax discipline shown by Naruto. But then the Hokage proved that Naruto wasn't the only unpredictable ninja in Konoha, when he was amused by Naruto's actions and instead of assigning them latrine duty, handed Team 7 a C-rank mission. Naruto's expression when he saw the old drunk they would be escorting (instead of a princess or a Daimyō as he expected) was hilarious. Evidently, even the Hokage wasn't above playing the occasional prank.

Kakashi didn't miss the covert signal sent by the Hokage, telling him to investigate further. Apparently, something wasn't quite right in the Land of Waves.

But as Kakashi dismissed his Genin with instructions on what to pack for an extended trip, he wondered if the old man was finally going senile. Sending a newly minted squad into an uncertain situation? What if they ran into trouble? They weren't ready, they would be…

And then Kakashi realized the genius of the plan. They would be tested.

The day of the bell test, Team 7 had banded together in the face of a common foe. Right now, they needed a mission which tested their strength as a team. Only that way could they grow, and reach their full potential. They needed something to tie them together; a shared experience or a difficult foe would be ideal.

The more Kakashi thought about it, the more he warmed to the idea. In hindsight, it should have been obvious; it had been a similar mission which had changed Kakashi's relationship with his own teammates.

Unlike his own mission to the Kannabi bridge though, Kakashi had no intention of letting this team be broken apart by tragedy.


The Next Day, Ambush Site: Hatake Kakashi


"Well done, you three."

A beaming grin, an arrogant smirk and a cute smile were the replies to his compliment. There was always the danger that Genin would freeze up the first time they faced a dangerous situation, but these three weren't the usual run-of-the-mill Genin. One had faced a horrific nightmare as a child and been shaped and subsequently driven by it, one had been hounded and attacked constantly by a possibly crazy kunoichi for nearly two years, and the third had a surprisingly level head on her shoulders. To defeat a pair of Chūnin from the Mist, which was well known for the viciousness of its shinobi, was no easy feat. Especially when the Genin had barely graduated from the Academy.

Yes, Kakashi had lucked out when it came to the Genin pool.

When it came to the client pool, on the other hand… "Tazuna-san. We need to talk."

The man audibly gulped as sweat rolled off his brow.


A few minutes of light interrogation and emotional blackmail later: Hatake Kakashi


The universe just would not stop messing with him, Kakashi mused. Once he had finally decided that doing things by the book wasn't always the right thing to do, he just kept getting thrown into situations where doing the right thing meant breaking the rules. First on that fateful mission where he had lost Obito, and now on the way to Wave. Maybe his father would be proud of him; Obito definitely would be. Kakashi knew this for sure because Naruto wanted to continue the mission even after hearing Tazuna's sob story.

And while Naruto reminded him of Obito so much it physically pained him-

"It's huge!"

-he had forgotten just how aggravating having an idiot on the team could be.

"Be quiet! Why do you think I'm rowing instead of using the engine in this mist?" The ferryman hissed at Naruto, who immediately clapped his hands over his mouth, and received dirty looks from both his teammates.

Kakashi sighed inaudibly. On one hand, he wished Naruto would learn not to be such an idiot; but on the other, that would mean Naruto losing his innocence. Kakashi would delay that day for as long as he possibly could. If it meant having to cover for Naruto's foolishness in the field, so be it.

And that day would come sooner rather than later; because the moment that Tazuna had mentioned the wealthy tycoon Gatō, Kakashi knew that the Demon Brothers were merely a warm-up act. Ruthless men like Gatō didn't give up just because of a small setback.

The real test was coming, and coming soon.

Of course, most rich men were also cheap, which meant that they would skimp out on paying wherever possible. That was why he had hired missing-nin to begin with, rather than use a village. But even then, there were quite a few dangerous missing ninja that could be hired by the shipping magnate.

The moment his foot touched the ground off the ferry, Kakashi knew that they were being watched.

He kept his posture relaxed, his shoulders loose and kept his hands inside his pocket. But his single eye never stopped roving, filing away every single disturbed branch, every dent in the grass, looking for evidence of an ambush.

And then he sensed someone.

To his surprise, so did Naruto; who immediately let loose with a kunai. When they reached the tree that Naruto had hit however…

"Naruto, you idiot!" Sakura immediately started berating the blond upon spying the frightened rabbit that the blond had nearly skewered, and Kakashi added his two cents by saying that Naruto should not throw kunai so carelessly. It was a lesson best learned early by Genin, so as they didn't accidentally injure any civilians. Considering the way that Naruto was nuzzling the petrified rabbit, it was safe to assume that the lesson had been heeded.

And then Kakashi realized that the rabbit's coat was snowy white. That meant it had been bred and raised in a place where the sun wasn't a factor, just so it could be used for the Kawarimi.

The attack came less than a minute later.

"Get down!"

Everyone saw the massive weapon spinning through the air and hit the ground. The weapon was thrown at a perfect height to decapitate Tazuna, confirming him as the target of the attack. It flew over the prone group's heads and thudded into a tree- and was revealed to be a humongous sword that could only belong to one of the Seven Shinobi Swordsmen of the Mist. A moment later, a dark-skinned figure appeared on top of the large sword.

It turned its head so that they could see death in its eyes.

Bandaged face. Perfectly smooth muscles. No visible body fat. No wasted movements. Not a sound as he appeared on top of his weapon.

This was a deadly Jōnin at the top of his game.

And Kakashi… wasn't. He had slacked off ever since he had burnt out and left ANBU. He also had a handicap, in the form of a team of Genin and a client to protect.

Despite that, Kakashi felt a rush of anticipation. It had been a while since he faced a challenge. And he had an ace in the hole.

With a quick round of banter Kakashi confirmed the identity of the ninja as Momochi Zabuza, the Kiri missing-nin; and affirmed his own identity as the man who copied a thousand techniques as well. The fact that Zabuza knew who Kakashi was and had decided to attack anyway didn't bode well for the Konoha team. There had been times when Kakashi's reputation alone had caused opposing ninja to retreat; clearly this wasn't going to be the case today. Kakashi could feel Sasuke's gaze burning into his back when Zabuza had mentioned the Sharingan, but now wasn't the time for that conversation.

He felt both Naruto and Sasuke take a step forward, but in a terse voice ordered them to protect the client. He told them to form the swastika formation and ordered them not to interfere in the battle, then uncovered his ace in the hole, the Sharingan.

Almost immediately, the mist, which had been creeping up on them unnoticed till then, thickened to the point where they could barely see each other. Zabuza pulled his weapon from the tree and landed on top of the nearby stream. He theatrically poured a large amount of chakra into the water underneath himself, then intoned, "Ninpou: Kirigakure no Jutsu (Ninja Arts: Hiding in the Mist Technique)."

A classic Kiri misdirection; and one Kakashi didn't hesitate to take advantage of. Kakashi noticed Zabuza make a Mizu Bunshin with his Sharingan, and followed suit. Heh. Kiri shinobi almost never expected the opposition to use the mist to their own advantage as well. Now hidden in the mist after having switched himself with his own Mizu Bunshin, Kakashi mused that had this in the bag. Because the mist had been Zabuza's second mistake. The first had been meeting Kakashi's Sharingan with his own eyes.

(Kakashi would pay the price for his hubris very shortly.)

But just because Kakashi thought he was going to win didn't mean that he couldn't turn this into a learning experience for his kids. That was the entire point of the mission after all. "Zabuza is a master of silent killing. That means he will attack from within the mist, hiding his angle of attack. It's possible you will die before you notice you've been killed." The kids gulped, but things were going to get worse for them.

And right on cue, Zabuza flooded the misty clearing with his murderous intent to violently butcher them all. "8 points," his gravelly voice resonated in the mist, coming from nowhere and everywhere.

A trembling Sakura gasped out, "W-What?"

"Larynx, spine, lungs, liver, jugular, subclavian artery, kidneys, heart." Each word was caressed lovingly by Zabuza's horrific voice. "Which point should I attack first?"

It was easily the most eerie thing the Genin (save Sasuke) had witnessed, going by their reactions. Except that in Sasuke's case, this was not a good thing.

Kakashi threw off the killing with practiced ease, but his Genin and client were scared out of their wits. He then released his own killing intent. Three of his four charges were paralyzed with fear, but the fourth was moving his kunai to stab himself.

Kakashi's clone swirled his chakra around himself and the team, both blowing the mist away and drawing attention to himself. "Sasuke," Kakashi's clone said in a light-hearted voice, completely at odds with the killing intent choking the air, "I won't let anyone on my team die."

Sasuke took one look at Kakashi's (clone's) smiling face, and relaxed physically, unclenching his hands and dropping his shoulders.

And that was the moment that Zabuza simply appeared in the middle of the swastika, with not even a displacement of air to mark his passage. "I don't know about that." His massive cleaver was at the perfect angle to behead all four with a single swing. "This is the end."

Just as Zabuza began to swing his sword, Kakashi's clone blurred forward with speed as impressive as Zabuza's, and buried its kunai in his gut. For a moment, everything was silent, his team and client on the floor as they stared at the clone leaking water from its stab wound. Then Naruto cried out, "Behind you sensei!"

It was too late for Kakashi's clone, as it was bisected by Zabuza's cleaver. But the look on the assassin's face when the body turned to water was priceless. "Don't move," Kakashi said as he placed his kunai at Zabuza's jugular. "This is the end," Kakashi taunted Zabuza with the same words he had used a few scant seconds ago.

There were a few seconds of reprieve, as Kakashi's Genin beheld their cool sensei with hero-worship in their eyes.

Then a voice spoke from behind Kakashi, "I'm not that easy to defeat."

With a pit of terror in his stomach, Kakashi quickly dispatched the clone at his fingertips and ducked the swipe that would have bisected him for real. His dodge left him open to the follow-up kick, which bodily hurled him into the lake. He threw a few caltrops, which was the only thing that saved him from being cut in two by an onrushing Zabuza while he fell defenceless through the air. By the time missing-nin accounted for the minor annoyance, the moment was lost, and Kakashi fell into the water in one piece.

Not that this situation was any better, because as soon as Kakashi surfaced, he realized he was in the water that Zabuza had saturated with his chakra. "Idiot. Suiton: Suirō no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Prison Technique)." A swirling sphere of water surrounded Kakashi, and he was trapped by the enemy.

This was bad. This was very, very bad. In fact, the only way this could have been worse was if Kakashi had been killed outright. Kakashi had fallen prey to arrogance, that age old enemy of shinobi. He had underestimated Zabuza, and now his team would pay the price.

Speaking of his team, Zabuza dismissed Kakashi as a non-entity and turned to them. "Look at you, wearing hitai-ate as if you were real ninja. Ninja are people who have gone through many life-or-death situations; in other words, you aren't ninja until you enter my bingo book. You three are just children." Zabuza created a Mizu Bunshin during his monologue, and it showed his contempt for them by kicking a terrified Naruto's forehead, causing his hitai-ate to go flying, before disdainfully stamping on the piece of metal.

"Take Tazuna-san and run! You can't fight him! As long as he has me trapped he can't move, and his Mizu Bunshin can't travel far from the water either!" Kakashi yelled through the water. Zabuza turned his head slightly towards Kakashi, no doubt surprised at the inside knowledge demonstrated by the Konoha Jōnin.

But even running wasn't a good option. Kakashi saw Sasuke reach the conclusion, and subsequently attack. The Rookie of the Year ran forward, throwing shuriken as he did so; and in the moment that Zabuza's vision was blocked by his own swinging cleaver, took to the sky to try and surprise the assassin. It wasn't a bad strategy… if he was facing a newly minted Chūnin. Zabuza's clone, on the other hand, saw through it in a second. He reached straight through Sasuke's attack and caught him by the throat. For a second, Kakashi was terrified that he would crush Sasuke's throat; but the clone just tossed him away.

Then Naruto tried a suicidal charge, but was kicked away once more. Kakashi thanked his lucky stars that Zabuza liked playing with his food, otherwise he would have been looking at dead kids; kids under his direct supervision, no less.

It was only when Naruto's body came to a stop that they all realized that Naruto had bravely (stupidly) retrieved his hitai-ate from underneath Zabuza's clone. With that, Zabuza's mercy was at an end; clearly he didn't like being taken for a ride.

Then Naruto dramatically re-tied his hitai-ate and declared that he would become the Hokage, and Kakashi could see Naruto's conviction straighten the spines of his teammates. Sakura even had a small blush as she looked at her blond friend. Even Tazuna looked at him with respect in his eyes.

So this was what he had inherited from the Yondaime. His personality, speech patterns, even his eating habits were all Kushina. But the blond hair, blue eyes and his inspiring presence were all Minato. Even Kakashi felt a surge of hope.

And then Naruto went off-script.

He said to himself, "Nii-chan, you told me to only use this technique when I was in a life-or-death situation. This is definitely life-or-death." He put his hands together in a cross seal and called out, "Kage-Bunshin no Jutsu!" Naruto's clones appeared on either side of Zabuza's Mizu Bunshin. They immediately began to pelt him with kunai and shuriken, staggering their throws to force him to dodge in a certain way. Tracking them with his Sharingan, Kakashi realized that Naruto was going to make sure Zabuza's clone would be open to a frontal attack right… about… now!

Naruto's fingers flew through handseals with the ease of long practice as he cried out, "Fūton: Daitoppa! (Wind Release: Great Breakthrough!)"

Unfortunately for Naruto, Zabuza's clone was a mite better at defending himself than let himself be caught by a single technique. His blade suddenly whirled much faster than previously and knocked away all the thrown weapons, after which he turned to face the wind technique-

-and was immediately vaporized, as the wind technique caught on fire and became a blazing inferno. The resulting heat left only steam in its wake.

Everyone's eyes widened, except for Zabuza, whose eyes narrowed instead. Sasuke had used the same opening as Naruto to launch a Gōkakyū (Great Fireball), and it had merged imperfectly with the Daitoppa; but even the partial merging was too hot for the Mizu Bunshin to handle.

Naruto and Sasuke turned to each other with slack-jawed expressions; the way only teenaged boys who had just discovered how to make a big explosion could. Then Naruto grinned, and Sasuke smirked back, and Kakashi felt another jolt in his stomach.

This was why he had passed Team 7.

Zabuza formed another Mizu Bunshin, but Naruto and Sasuke worked together seamlessly to bamboozle not only the clone, but the real Zabuza as well. A few seconds later, Kakashi was dripping wet, but free of the water prison.

Zabuza started to throw the Fūma shuriken he had been tricked with back at Naruto, fuming with rage and humiliation; but Kakashi blocked it with the plate at the back of his hand. "Let me assure you, the same trick won't work on me twice," Kakashi said, once more making sure Zabuza met the Sharingan with his own eyes.

Kakashi was done underestimating the enemy.


The Next Day, Tazuna's Home, Wave Country: Hatake Kakashi


"…which is why I believe Zabuza is still alive."

Once more, Naruto started trembling; but his expression was excited instead of fearful like the previous day.

"So, what do we do, Sensei?" Sakura asked.

Technique and chakra training was left to the discretion of each Jōnin instructor; but it was made very clear to them by the Hokage not to hand out village techniques until the Genin had proven themselves both capable and loyal to the village. This included even basic techniques like the tree climbing exercise. Given the teamwork they had shown yesterday, Kakashi was willing to start extending them that trust.

"Well, I won't be able to move for a week, but I can make you guys undergo some training."

"But Kakashi-sensei! Even if we trained, the enemy is someone even you had trouble with!" Sakura exclaimed.

So, the fact that she hadn't directly contributed to the impromptu rescue mission yesterday was causing her some insecurity. This was good, because it meant she was embarrassed by her perceived shortcomings, and would work hard to rectify them.

"Sakura, when I was having a hard time, who saved me?" He waited a moment to let his words sink in. Kakashi wasn't the kind of teacher who didn't give his underlings credit; especially since they had pulled his bacon off the fire. "You three are growing quickly. Especially you, Naruto. That was an impressive plan yesterday."

The sheer gratitude in Naruto's eyes sent a pang through Kakashi's stomach. He should never have grown up as starved of attention as he had.

"Hehe, yeah! You really know your stuff, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto bragged, his face alight with pleasure.

But Kakashi had a criticism to make as well. "But hiding your full potential from your teammates is not acceptable. If your technique had been of an element that worked against Sasuke's, Suiton for example, it could easily have led to disaster yesterday."

Naruto deflated, but the reasoning had hit home. He mumbled out, "But nii-chan told me to keep it a secret…"

"I can understand why he told you not to use it at the Academy, but I'm sure he never intended you to hide it once you became a Genin. An important part of teamwork is knowing your teammate's skills. For example, if you hadn't known that Sasuke knew the kage-shuriken technique, I would still be trapped by Zabuza."

"Hmm…" Naruto frowned thoughtfully. He looked at Sasuke, likely imagining the path the battle would have taken had he not, as Kakashi said, known Sasuke's full repertoire.

Then a sly grin started sneaking up on Naruto's face, and Sasuke started to match it; and Kakashi didn't have to be a genius to realize what was going through the minds of the two teenage boys.

But before Kakashi could nip their pyromania in the bud, they were interrupted by Tazuna's grandson, Inari.

Understandably, Kakashi was distracted by the kid who lost his father-figure. Kakashi himself had lost his father when he could count his age on two hands, and it had left a scar on his psyche; one that had never fully healed.

So Kakashi took it upon himself to keep an eye on Inari, especially after Naruto took exception to his fatalistic attitude. It wasn't strictly in the mission parameters, but Kakashi had trained under the Yondaime, and he had seen how doing just that little bit extra created a bond with the client. If that bond gave their village more business in the future, well, that was just icing on the cake.

Too bad for him that he never got around to forbidding the two teenage boys on his team from experimenting with mixing Katon and Fūton techniques.


A Few Days Later, Training Clearing: Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke


"Haaah!" Naruto flopped to the ground, tired after consecutive days of running up a tree. He groaned as he massaged his calves, and barely acknowledged Sakura as she left after having finished her training for the day.

Sasuke was crouching on the ground, discreetly massaging his own calves while glaring at the tree that had stumped him. He turned as Sakura passed him, and watched her leave the clearing with an assessing gaze.

"She's not useless, you know," Naruto said quietly.

After a moment, Sasuke grunted an affirmative. He had been as surprised as Naruto when Sakura had climbed the tree at her first attempt. But he had not truly believed that she was useless; he had just been lashing out because he felt helpless, and she had been a convenient target since she was tied to the log.

"She's been really quiet since that day. I think you really hurt her."

Sasuke was still staring at the spot where Sakura had disappeared into the foliage. "I'll apologize to her. I didn't mean it," he said after a long moment.

A minute later, Naruto said in a low tone, "I know I said it that day, but I'm sorry too. I didn't mean what I said either."

Sasuke finally turned to look at Naruto. After a long moment he gave a single, jerky nod. Naruto nodded back, wisely not saying another word on the topic.

Instead, he began needling Sasuke. (Well, Naruto had never had much sense to begin with.) "You know, you don't have to pretend you're not sore too. Sakura-chan isn't here to see that you're just another human being."

Sasuke immediately shot the idiot a glower, but the blond just sent him a cheeky grin in response. Still glowering, Sasuke finally sank down and began openly massaging his own calves, sighing as he did so. There were a few minutes of blessed silence.

Regrettably, it didn't last.

"Ne, ne, Sasuke?"

Instantly wary, Sasuke slowly turned to Naruto. That was Naruto's pranking voice. He had better be on his guard. And sure enough, there was a wide shit-eating grin on Naruto's face. If Iruka-sensei had caught sight of it, he would immediately have thrown the blond in detention and tied him up in ropes, if only to prevent the insanity that was sure to follow. "What?"

"Wanna practice our super awesome fireball technique?"

Sasuke blinked.

And then, despite himself, a grin began to tug his face.


Roughly Two Hours Later, Tazuna's Home: Hatake Kakashi


Kakashi had been mistaken. Oh, so badly, horrifically mistaken. Because, you see, there wasn't one idiot on Team 7. No, no… no, there were two idiots on Team 7.

Scratch that, there were three idiots on Team 7, because Kakashi himself was the biggest idiot of the lot. He had known this was going to happen, and what did he do? Forget to give his moronic kids the simplest of warnings.

Don't play with fire.

That was it. Four simple words, and he could have prevented a near-catastrophe.

Currently, Kakashi was sitting at the table, facing the two idiot boys like a judge facing a pair of criminals. Tsunami and Sakura were standing either side of him, their hands on their hips and identical glares on their faces. Inari was next to his mother, uncertainly gazing at the two boys with wide eyes. Tazuna was drinking in the living room.

Sasuke had a bewildered expression, which only added to the hilarious image he currently projected. His flyaway hair was singed and sticking out in even more directions than it usually did, and he was covered in soot and minor burns. His clothing was burned in patches, and Kakashi was willing to bet that none of his fangirls would find anything remotely attractive about him at the moment.

Naruto, while similar in appearance to Sasuke, wore an expression of practiced contrition that Kakashi didn't believe for a single second. He was sure he would have witnessed this scene a lot more in his life if the Yondaime had survived.

In that moment he found himself missing his sensei more than ever. Minato would have given them a perfected look of disappointment, told them he was ashamed of them and then made them pay amends; and they would have happy to do anything to never see that disappointed expression again. Kushina, on the other hand, would have flown into a rage and terrified them into submission, her hair flying demonically into nine tails as she did so.

So, which method did Kakashi pick?

After nearly five minutes of watching the boys squirm, Kakashi finally spoke. "What were you thinking?" His voice was low; lower and more dangerous than the day of the bell test.

Both the boys shivered in fright, and Sasuke opened his mouth, before he hesitated and looked at Naruto. Naruto, an expert at getting into trouble and explaining his way into further trouble, immediately took his cue. (At literally any other time, Kakashi would have been happy to see them depend on each other this way.) "Ehehehe… well, Kakashi-sensei, we were both taking a break cause our legs were tired, 'ttebayo. S-so we thought we would practice our ninjutsu instead…" Naruto trailed off at the thunderous expression on his sensei's face.

Kakashi turned to Sasuke, his eye narrowed and expression even more forbidding than before. "Tell me, when people from the Uchiha clan learn the Gōkakyū (Great Fireball), where do they first practice it?"

For a moment, Sasuke floundered, thrown by the question. "O-on a lake."

"On a lake," Kakashi repeated. "Do you know why they practice on top of a lake?"

The remaining colour drained from Sasuke's face. "To prevent accidents," the boy whispered.

Kakashi leaned forward menacingly. "Then why did you decide to practice a fire technique in the middle of a forest!?" The last word left his lips with a crack.

Both idiot boys flinched. But Kakashi wasn't done.

"You nearly caused a forest fire with your idiocy! If Naruto's Kage Bunshin hadn't come to get me, we would be looking at untold damage! Is this how you want or clients to view Konoha shinobi!? As careless fools who accidentally burn down forests while training!?"

Naruto's guilty look was genuine this time. The last thing he wanted was Konoha looking bad; especially as an aspiring Hokage.

"The ocean is literally outside this house. Why didn't you practice here?" This time, Kakashi's voice was mild, and the idiots cringed, no doubt realizing their utter idiocy.

"For that matter, weren't you taught in the Academy to never practice ninjutsu without a teacher present?" The idiots nodded, Sasuke hesitantly, Naruto frantically.

Kakashi was looming over them by now, and the idiots were cowering, as badly as they had the day Zabuza had nearly killed them. "Then why were you practicing ninjutsu without your Jōnin instructor?"

Sasuke was gaping soundlessly, Naruto squeaking incomprehensibly. Only then was Kakashi satisfied that they had understood the depth of their stupidity. "Repeat after me: I will never be an idiot and practice ninjutsu without my Jōnin sensei's supervision again."

The boys babbled out something that vaguely sounded like the statement they were supposed to repeat.

"And you!" Kakashi pointed at Naruto, whose squeak was practically supersonic, "You WILL NOT practice Fūinjutsu without direct supervision, either mine or Nanashi-san's. Is that understood?" Kakashi growled. Naruto couldn't nod fast enough.

If he kept this up any longer, the foolish boys would wet themselves. Staring down imperiously at them, Kakashi said in a disgusted tone, "Get out of my sight."

The moronic boys couldn't scramble away quickly enough.

Tsunami watched them go with a narrowed gaze, then sniffed loudly. Inari hid behind his mother, sneaking terrified glances at Kakashi; even Sakura was looking apprehensively at him, afraid that she would get a telling off too.

Kakashi dropped his head and sighed. This mission was already turning out to be more trouble than it was worth.

"Err, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked hesitantly. "You didn't… um, hurt yourself further when you put out that fire, did you?"

Kakashi looked up at her. "No, one Suiton technique didn't set back my recovery. That's about the only good news from today. If they had waited even a few minutes longer to get me though…" Kakashi trailed off ominously. Sakura shivered.

Because of the fire, the forest was quieter than usual. Added to the silence in the house, the residents could hear every word that the two idiots were exchanging in their room upstairs.

"I can't believe you got me in trouble," Sasuke's muffled voice drifted downstairs.

"What do you mean I got you into trouble!?" Naruto's outraged voice was a bit louder than Sasuke's.

"It was your stupid idea!"

"I didn't hear you object! And you were the one who started the fire anyway!"

"Yes, but I wasn't the idiot who made the fire even bigger by launching even more Fūton chakra at it!"

"I was trying to blow it out! Like you blow out a candle!"

"Oh, so you didn't think your chakra would make the fire bigger… when that was what we were trying to do in the first place!?"

"Didn't you learn your fireball on a lake!? Then why didn't you tell us to move there!?"

Kakashi buried his face in his hands to hide the smile that was involuntarily stretching it, and Sakura stomped up the stairs to give them a piece of her mind.

Well, maybe this mission wasn't all that bad.


The Next Morning, Former Training Clearing: Hatake Kakashi


Kakashi stared.

Sasuke stared.

Sakura stared, rubbed her eyes, and stared again.

The burned trees were… bandaged.

All of them.

As the three stared uncertainly at the now-white trees surrounding them, the miserable voice of their fourth teammate drifted to them. "Mou… I'm sorry tree… I promise I'll be more careful in the future…"

Kakashi sighed and rubbed his forehead. He led them to the place where Naruto was, sure enough, bandaging a tree with a downcast expression on his face.

He also had a sealing scroll open next to him, and what appeared to be a small mountain of bandages lying unsealed on top of it. There were seven empty scrolls next to it, and another twelve lying unopened. "I'm sorry I hurt you tree… me and my friend didn't know our fire would go out of control… I'll practice on the water next time…"

Kakashi just stared again. He was literally speechless.

"Umm, Naruto?" Sakura asked hesitantly. Naruto turned his dejected face to his female teammate. She changed what she had been about to say once she saw his expression. "Umm… why do you have so many bandages?"

A scowl overtook his face immediately. "You would too if Scary Snake Lady could attack you at any time."

Sakura sighed, "Your Scary Snake Lady prank again? Stop trying to fool me, Naruto. I know she doesn't exist."

"Don't say that!" Naruto hissed, quickly glancing at the bandaged trees as if Anko would pop out cackling as soon as her name was mentioned, like some evil spirit. "Tell her, Kakashi-sensei!"

How was this his life? "She's quite real, Sakura."

Sakura glanced at him surprised, then narrowed her eyes, wondering if Kakashi was pranking her as well. Kakashi didn't bother setting her straight. Given her relationship with Naruto, Anko would make her presence known soon enough; Kakashi was half-surprised she hadn't done so already.

"Naruto," Kakashi said with a look at the trees that Naruto had painstakingly bandaged through the night. And then he made the mistake of looking into Naruto's eyes. Like Sakura before him, he changed what he had been about to say as well. "This is… well, nobody can doubt your sincerity."

The grateful smile sent his way warmed his insides, despite the utter futility of Naruto's actions.

And then he turned to Sasuke; who was the only member of the team who successfully resisted Naruto's puppy dog eyes. "You know bandaging doesn't help the trees at all right?"

Naruto's face fell dramatically.

Sasuke scowled.

Sakura turned to Sasuke.

Sasuke's scowl deepened.

Kakashi turned to Sasuke.

Sasuke's eye began to twitch.

Naruto's mouth quivered, and his eyes turned suspiciously moist.

"Tch." Sasuke snatched the bandage out of Naruto's hand and stomped over to the tree that the blond had been bandaging and finished the job.

The beaming grin Naruto sent Sasuke's way made Kakashi's day.

Well, Kakashi thought to himself even as he followed Sasuke's example and picked up a roll of bandages, looks like Naruto is terrified of disappointing people. I suppose the way he was ostracized after he stole Kurenai's underwear is probably the reason for that.

And when Team 7 finished their first successful team bonding exercise in the form of bandaging burned trees(!) Naruto once again made a grand declaration. "Yosh! I've decided I will get strong enough to protect all of you! The only way to get truly strong is when you protect something that is precious to you, so I'm going to get strong enough to protect all of you, Hinata, nii-chan, Iruka-sensei, Kurenai-sensei, Ayame-nee-chan and Teuchi-jii-chan! Even Hokage-jii-chan!"

This was new. Naruto was usually this exuberant about pranks, ramen and being the Hokage. Fūinjutsu was a recent addition to that list, but Naruto wasn't openly passionate about his Sealing skills. "Oh? You want to get stronger than all of us? That's quite a task you've set yourself. What brought this on?"

Naruto blushed, rubbed the back of his head and mumbled something about being woken up by a boy prettier than Hinata.

A ball of ice settled in Kakashi's gut.

It could only have been the masked enemy ninja.

And he could easily have slit Naruto's throat while he lay helpless. Kakashi sent a quick prayer to whatever deity had looked over Naruto that morning. If that pretty boy hadn't been on an intelligence gathering mission…

Kakashi opened his mouth to berate Naruto… then he hesitated. He wanted to preserve Naruto's innocence just that little bit longer. Not to mention that the mysterious pretty boy had actually set Naruto's resolve in stone, and given him a purpose to strive towards. Maybe this was a good thing.

Well, Kakashi would know by tomorrow one way or another. That was when he estimated that Zabuza would attack.


The Next Morning, Tazuna's Bridge: Hatake Kakashi


The thickening mist and prone workers' bodies on the bridge confirmed Kakashi's suspicions. Zabuza was here. He had been feeling eyes on them the last half of the way to the bridge, which made sense as the assassin would want to know about their targets.

And this time, Kakashi was prepared for him. Even as Team 7 and Tazuna moved back to back, Kakashi was confident they would win.

Then, right out of a scene from a horror movie, Zabuza's clones appeared in a ring around them. He heard Sasuke's kunai clinking against the rest of his weaponry due to his trembling.

Zabuza taunted Sasuke about his trembling; and the last Uchiha smirked. "I'm trembling from excitement."

Kakashi shot a look at his student, saw the barely suppressed tension, and said, "Go for it, Sasuke."

The Uchiha didn't disappoint. Seconds later, they were surrounded by water instead of the Mizu Bunshin they had been molded into.

Then the real Zabuza showed up with his masked apprentice, and now Kakashi was worried.

Because he could still feel eyes on them.

Was it another accomplice of Zabuza's? Or was the real Zabuza still hidden, and this was just another clone?

But there was no time to worry about more potential enemies; he had to take care of what was in front of him.

But the Jōnin didn't square off at first; their apprentices' did.

Kakashi watched proudly as his student held his own against an opponent older and more experienced than him. His team had grown exponentially during this mission, and all three had pleasantly surprised him; none more so than his absent student.

He could only hope he had done the right thing by leaving Naruto asleep. He had always planned on leaving the blond behind to protect Tazuna's family, but he didn't have to heart to wake the child; especially when he looked so adorable with his limbs askew and his blanket thrown half off his body. He had been pushed to the brink both physically and emotionally the previous day, after he had laid into Inari for being a crybaby. Despite everything, Naruto was still an innocent kid. Well, Kakashi had faith in that innocent kid, and that would have to be enough.

The first indication that something was wrong was when Kakashi saw Haku (as Zabuza had called him) use one-handed seals. Kakashi had copied a thousand techniques, lived through a war and yet never seen the like. Well, you learn something new every day.

The second indication came when Sasuke was seemingly on top, having beaten the boy in raw speed and delivered a roundhouse kick to his face. Haku made a dome of ice mirrors around the Uchiha, and then melted into the mirror.

Fuck.

This was way out of Sasuke's league. Bloodline wielders were notoriously hard to fight against, and Sasuke, while a gifted Genin, was too raw to battle one.

He ordered Sakura to stay with the client and ran forward to rescue his student, but then he was stopped by Zabuza, who was keen to cross blades with Kakashi once more.

It was the most agonizing minute of Kakashi's life, as he listened to Sasuke's screams while Haku relentlessly tore Sasuke's skin apart, unable to move forward for the fear that Zabuza would slaughter Tazuna and Sakura behind him. He quickly ran through simulations of what would happen if he left Sakura and Tazuna- if he used Kage Bunshin- if he used his Sharingan to layer a Genjutsu on Zabuza- if he ignored the mysterious watcher- and the outcomes were not good. He prayed for a miracle.

And a miracle was granted.

Naruto's shuriken knocked Haku out of the mirror, after Sakura had drawn him out.

And then he appeared in a cloud of fireworks, of all things. "Uzumaki Naruto is here!"

The idiot.

Only Tazuna and Sakura were inspired by Naruto's flashy entrance. Everyone else stared at him with a deadpan expression, even the prone Sasuke. "All right! The main character always appears like this and defeats the enemy in a flash! Kage Bu-"

Zabuza inevitably attacked the idiot.

To everyone's surprise, Haku knocked Zabuza's shuriken out of the air. "Please leave this to me, Zabuza-sama."

While the two missing-nin were having a stare-off, Kakashi took the chance to berate the biggest idiot on Team 7. "What kind of idiot tries to execute a technique right in front of an enemy!? A shinobi attacks unguarded spots from the shadows!"

"Jeez, Kakashi-sensei," the real Naruto's voice came from a blind spot behind the dome and startled everyone, "Scary Snake Lady taught me that already. Fūton: Daitoppa! (Wind Release: Great Breakthrough!)"

Kakashi mentally revised his opinion of the blond. That had been a fantastic distraction. Kakashi himself hadn't suspected it, because it was so in character for Naruto to do something over-the-top. He had used everyone's own expectations about himself against themselves, understood the battlefield and come up with a move that caught everyone by surprise. He would make a fantastic undercover agent.

Unfortunately, Naruto's attack didn't shatter the dome. That didn't mean he was done. "Sasuke! Fireball combo! Fūton: Daitoppa! (Wind Release: Great Breakthrough!)"

Sasuke threw himself on his feet and performed the hand seals he had memorized the minute his father had taught him. "Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu! (Fire Release: Great Fireball Technique!)"

The heat was enough to start rivulets of water running down the mirror's surface. But that wasn't the only thing the heat did.

Sasuke cut off pouring chakra into the fireball and screamed, "Naruto! Stop it!"

As soon as the blond stopped, it was easy to see why Sasuke had told them to stop. His skin was red and blistered from the heat of the technique.

Haku had already melted into the mirror when Naruto had first attacked, and he took the opportunity to repair the mirror which had been melted a third of the way.

And then Naruto did the stupidest thing he could under the circumstances.

He walked into the mirror. "Sasuke, you all right?"

Sasuke looked wide-eyed at his idiot teammate. "You idiot! Why did you come inside? If you kept attacking from outside we could have broken the mirrors!"

"Hey! When I was attacking from outside you were getting cooked alive! I thought that if we attacked from the same direction the heat would go away from us!"

Sasuke stared incredulously at the moron he had been teamed with. "That's not how convection works dumbass!"

"What's convection!?"

Needless to say, Kakashi had re-revised his opinion of the blond idiot. Again.

Then Haku began attacking both his subordinates, and confirmed Kakashi's theory about the technique being a Kekkei Genkai. Their mysterious watcher be damned, if Kakashi had to save his kids, he had to act now.

His hand went to his headband, and Zabuza immediately attacked him; coming out of the position he had taken up once Naruto had made his entrance, leaving him open to assist Haku at a moment's notice. Clearly, despite all his talk of Haku being a valuable tool, Zabuza cared for him and wasn't fully confident in Haku's ability to kill the two boys. Now how could Kakashi use this knowledge to his advantage?

He deliberately bled on the blade that Zabuza used to almost take his Sharingan out. He listened to the man brag about his 'tool', and internally despaired when Zabuza revealed that Haku was the analyst in their group. This could be catastrophically bad, since there was nothing worse than an intelligent foe. Kakashi needed to get his kids out of that damn dome as soon as humanly possible.

But as soon as Zabuza had delivered his mind fucking, he disappeared into the mist that had been thickening since the start of their encounter. It was suddenly so thick that Kakashi couldn't even see his own feet. Kakashi once more ordered Sakura to stick with Tazuna and set about fighting Zabuza.

The occasional scream from Naruto and Sasuke were taking a toll on his sanity by giving him moments of horrified relief; if they were screaming, they were alive. But for how long?

Just as he thought, Zabuza appeared behind Tazuna to kill the bridge builder; and Kakashi deliberately appeared a second too slow to block the assassin's massive cleaver, letting his blood drench the length of the blade. Sakura's scream was a trifle dramatic at watching her sensei get cut up, but it served its purpose in letting Zabuza think he was winning.

And still, the back of Kakashi's neck itched due to the eyes of their unseen watcher.

Again and again, he clashed with Zabuza in the mist, each time seemingly barely stopping him in time. Again and again, his blood soaked Zabuza's weapons, arm warmers, trousers.

And then he realized that it had been too long since he heard the boys scream in pain.

And right on cue, Kakashi felt his worst nightmare come to life.

The Kyūbi's chakra.

Had the seal broken?

No, thank the Log. The snarl he heard was Naruto's voice distorted by the foul chakra of the Bijū sealed within him. Time was officially up; if it wasn't too late already.

"What is that filthy chakra?" Kakashi heard Zabuza ask, but he was no longer interested in games.

"All right, Zabuza, let's make the next move the last."

"Intriguing. What do you have in mind?"

He heard the shattering of the mirrors as Naruto went into a berserker state. He could only hope that whatever had sent Naruto into that state wasn't as bad as he feared. Kakashi unfurled the summoning scroll and slammed it to the ground. "Kuchiyose: Doton: Tsuiga no Jutsu (Summoning: Earth Release: Fanged Pursuit Technique!)"

The summon dogs swam through the concrete and tracked Zabuza by the scent of Kakashi's blood. They jumped the hapless assassin and completely restricted his movement by sinking their teeth into his joints. And with that single move, Kakashi once again bested Momochi Zabuza.

He felt, rather than saw, the Kyūbi's chakra disappear. The seal had held, praise the Log.

With Zabuza's capture Kakashi felt the anticipation from their unseen watcher rise, and knew that he/she would attempt their move soon. But it wouldn't be soon enough to save Zabuza; Kakashi wasn't that slow.

"Do you think I've only used my Sharingan and copied techniques to survive? Here's my original technique. Raikiri! (Lightning Cutter!)" Kakashi rushed forward with lightning crackling in his hand, confident that even a Shunshin wouldn't be fast enough to save Zabuza.

Then Kakashi was proven wrong about his speed by two people.

First, an ice mirror sprang up and Haku leaped out to intercept the killing blow meant for his master.

It happened too quickly for Kakashi to stop his attack. But then the second person appeared.

In a Yellow Flash.

A thrill of shock ran through his body, as he stared into the blond eyes of his deceased sensei.

He had never quite known what it was like when that technique was used against him in a life or death situation. There was no warning, no time for thought; hell, there was no time for an instinctive fucking flinch. You saw the Flash, and you died. That was all.

Then the masked blond shinobi (not Minato-sensei) raised his right index finger to his lips in the universal 'be quiet' gesture; and Kakashi realized 3 things.

The first was that Nanashi's (for it was Naruto's adopted older brother) left hand was covered in Fūton chakra and it had stopped his Raikiri cold.

Kakashi hadn't even known that was possible; after all, the Raikiri had cut through fucking lightning!

The second was that Nanashi's left arm had come around the back of Haku, and that he had knocked out the teenage boy with his right hand (who really was quite pretty underneath that mask, as Naruto had mentioned.)

The third was the small paper seal on Zabuza's neck. With his Sharingan he could make out that it was one of Kurenai's contact Genjutsu seals. Clearly Nanashi had a hand in creating them; which meant that Zabuza was currently under a Genjutsu that even the pain from the dogs biting him wouldn't disperse.

Then for the second time that day, Kakashi saw one-handed seals being used; this time by the tall blond in front of him. Only this time, they were used for a Genjutsu, one that gave Haku glassy eyes, an unmoving chest and a large splotch of blood where Kakashi's Chidori had almost speared the bloodline wielder (Nanashi's left handed Fūton technique was still cancelling out Kakashi's ongoing Raikiri.)

Once Nanashi had prepared his 'corpse', he liberally threw fake blood on Kakashi, Haku and the mirror, winked at Kakashi, and then vanished in another Yellow Flash.

What just happened?

How had he known that Haku would jump in that exact moment?

What was Nanashi hoping to gain?

Clearly there was something going on, and Nanashi wanted Kakashi to play along. Unnoticed by Zabuza, the seal on his neck fluttered to the ground, it's purpose completed; and Kakashi was forced to keep with the deception that Nanashi had propagated in a few scant seconds.

As soon as Zabuza saw Haku's 'corpse', the mist started to lighten. Within seconds, the sun, the day's natural warmth and the ocean breeze had swept the mist into nothingness.

Even though Kakashi knew that Haku was alive, he knew the pain that Zabuza was acutely feeling all too well; which is why he let his dogs disperse.

"Hehe… I sure picked a nice tool!" Zabuza immediately tried to bisect both Haku's body and Kakashi's.

…alright, so everyone dealt with grief differently. Some people, apparently, liked to desecrate their comrade's body.

He jumped back, lay down the boy's prone body and closed the 'eyes'. For a Genjutsu performed with one-handed seals, it was surprisingly well-crafted. He then spied Naruto making his way over to them, and told the blond to stay back. Clearly, even the prankster was enraged by Zabuza's callous actions. But Kakashi would make him pay. "Stay back, Naruto. This is my fight."

For someone who's motto was 'Those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash,' Zabuza's casual dismissal of Haku's sacrifice went against every single tenet Kakashi possessed.

Just then, Sakura asked the question that Kakashi had been dreading. "Naruto! You're ok! Where's Sasuke?" Naruto's face crumpled, and Kakashi's universe tilted; because he knew that Naruto would not have nearly broken the Seal if everything had been all right. "Naruto, where's Sasuke?" Sakura asked again, a mixture of desperation and hope in her voice.

It was only then that Kakashi remembered that Haku was still alive due to Nanashi's actions. Therefore, Sasuke must be too.

Right?

But before he could say anything else, Zabuza attacked again. And this time, filled with righteous fury, Kakashi counter-attacked. And proceeded to tear the Demon of the Mist to shreds.

With nothing but raw Taijutsu.

Kick to the sternum. Backhand to the face. He disabled one arm by severing his tendons. And just as he disabled the other, he realized why Zabuza wasn't giving him a challenge anymore. It was Sakura's heartbreaking cries over Sasuke's prone body that enabled him to have his epiphany.

It was because the assassin had lost his reason to live.

And that, more than Gatō appearing at the end of the bridge with an army of rabble, was the reason Kakashi didn't finish Zabuza off. "Well, Zabuza, looks like you got beat pretty badly. It's too bad you didn't kill each other off; that would have saved me a lot of time and money. 'Demon of the Hidden Mist'? You're just a cute little devil if you ask me." Cue the laughter from the lickspittles.

Zabuza called a truce with Kakashi, which was accepted. They both had seemingly suffered equal losses in the form of their apprentices; and the battle between them was over anyway. Neither lost anything by the truce.

Then Gatō tried to desecrate Haku's body. Naruto lost it. He screamed obscenities at the midget magnate and rushed to do something undoubtedly foolish, but Kakashi caught him in time. He yelled at Zabuza to do something about the evil little fucker, but Zabuza just told him that ninja were tools, and they should accept their fate as such.

Then Naruto did what his father used to do so amazingly well. "He loved you! You were everything to him! You were his entire purpose for being alive! He gave up his life for you! Is this what being a strong ninja is all about!? That's just… too sad…"

With nothing but tears and a few heartfelt words, Naruto had changed Zabuza's heart.

As tears poured down his face, Zabuza said softly, "Kid… don't say any more."

A look of peace came over Zabuza's face as he said, "At being the perfect ninja… I lose." As Zabuza ripped the bandages from his face, Kakashi once more felt the anticipation from Nanashi rise. Clearly, the entire point of the drama was about to be revealed. "I'm glad we were able to fight you as our final opponents. Kid, toss me your kunai."

Zabuza caught the thrown weapon between his teeth, and the Demon of the Mist came out to play.

With superbly smooth movements, Zabuza whirled through the crowd, kicking and swiping his way through the rabble with conviction that he hadn't shown against Kakashi a few minutes ago. But Zabuza was too reckless; he wasn't fighting to stay alive. This was a suicide charge.

And just as he was about to be overwhelmed, Nanashi made his move.

Two screaming blurs streaked past Kakashi and Naruto and crisscrossed into the crowd of thugs. Blood, limbs, weapons and screams flew as the weapons carved their way through the rabble, missing Zabuza by fractions and opening his path to Gatō. Zabuza didn't hesitate and rushed towards the evil midget, whose last terrified words were "Demon!"

Then Zabuza's mouth-held kunai cut through Gatō's jugular, and the shipping magnate died an inglorious death at the hands of the man he had tried to double-cross.

As the dwarf's body landed in the water with a splash, the screaming blurs shot into the sky and looped back the way they had come; where their blond owner, balanced on the struts of the bridge, caught them just as they were almost past him. Blood and gore slipped off the weapons via momentum, which were revealed to be a pair of chakrams, leaving them gleaming as brightly as if they had just been polished. Nanashi then crossed them behind his back and looked down imperiously on the thugs.

"Nii-chan!" Naruto yelled, and Nanashi sent a quick wink Naruto's way before giving the mercenaries the thousand-yard stare.

Small minded idiots that they were, they turned to the man who had delivered the killing blow to their master. But Zabuza was looking questioningly at the masked blond who had saved his life and gifted him Gatō on a plate, unaware of of the horde of hoodlums who wanted his blood. A second later, the newly-revealed Nanashi saved Zabuza's life again, this time via Kawarimi, as the attacking horde only managed to stab a Log.

All Konoha shinobi quickly said a prayer of thanks for the Log and made the sign of peace; including the prone Sasuke. Incidentally, that was how Sakura realized he was alive. "Naruto! Sasuke's alive!"

The sheer relief on his troublemaker student's face made Kakashi smile softly. So Sasuke was alive after all.

"Why didn't you let me die?" Zabuza asked gruffly. Nanashi simply raised his fingers and dispelled the Genjutsu that was hiding Haku's face and chest. The flabbergasted expression on Zabuza's face when he saw Haku's breathing chest was comical; Kakashi was sure nobody had ever seen the fabled Demon of the Mist so out-of-sorts.

Then the genius thugs decided that they would raid the village for valuables, since their meal ticket was currently sleeping with the fishes.

But then they were stopped by the people of Wave who were led by the 8-year old Inari, of all people. Well, they had been oppressed by a midget, so it was ironically poetic that they would finally find their courage at the hands of another. "Heroes always come at the last minute, right Naruto-nii-chan?" the boy called to Naruto, who grinned at the boy.

And when that didn't prove enough to break the spirits of the mercenaries, Nanashi used Fūton manipulation to rise into the air and formed a terrifying looking Fūryūdan (Wind Dragon) around himself. Without handseals.

The mercenaries broke and ran, and the Land of Waves gained its freedom.

The denizens of Wave cheered, Zabuza stumbled his way to Haku, Sasuke limped forward with Sakura's help and Kakashi pushed himself to his feet; while Naruto ran and hugged his adoptive brother as hard as he could. It was as perfect a scene as could have been hoped for.

And then Naruto ruined the whole thing by saying, "Err… why do you smell like fish?"


Author's Notes: Daddy's back!

actually scratch that. I'm not really into the whole daddy roleplay thing. I got a chick to call me daddy once. It became awkward very quickly.

11 months. I'm so sorry. But no, I'm not dead. Clearly. I did come close via depression, but I've beaten it back for now. It wasn't one thing that drove me there, it was a series of incidents. My mom moved to a new city for work, my brother moved to a new country for his studies, I was forced to sit at a grown man's shoulder and make sure he did the job he was fucking paid for for a full month, my phone got stolen (the phone I had bought with my first 3 month's salary after returning to work after nearly two years of suffering from depression), my rejections from all my universities started coming in, Arsenal started sucking again (but still managed to win the Cup in the end), a stray cat got in my house, climbed up to my room and pissed on my bed, my savings were more or less wiped out due to unforeseeable circumstances, and… well, you get the picture. It was August when I finally was in the right place to start writing again. I thought about the story every day, and I have different scenes in my head for the future, but I simply couldn't find the joy from writing that I normally could. I haven't even looked at my Pat-reon page since last December, I'm so ashamed I let you guys down so badly. Till a few minutes ago, the very first line on this document read "-'th December-2016". You have no idea how heavily that has been weighing on me.

About the only good thing from 2016 was Rogue One. Wow. I mentioned in a previous chapter that Kylo Ren deserved the Imperial March. I officially retract that. Vader is the shit. I fangirled when he showed up. Violently. I actually scared my brother. The only good thing so far in 2017 has been the FA Cup win, catching Mewtwo in Pokémon Go, and I'm starting a new venture. I hope it works out. And I will begin to write the next chapter as soon as I hit publish.

As for the review responses, I'm only up to 1600-something, and I will have to go back and find out where I stopped last freaking October. Holy shit. And we crossed 2000 reviews! Thank you so much people.

To all the people who kept sending me PM's and I cowardly didn't respond, a special thank you and I'm very sorry. I will get back to you guys this weekend.

Right, enough of my raffling. You guys came here for a chapter, and a chapter you have received! Now do your thing! Review!