Fuel Fire Desire

The next week was a lonely one. With no friends and nothing better to do, I went out twice every night to haul in cars. I got Ace eight in my first week, and every boost went off without a hitch. I think he could barely keep up with me because he directed me to make a couple of drop-offs in Chamberlain. There was another workshop there, but it didn't belong to Ace. This guy was happy to take any extras, and he'd simply pay Ace for the raw, unmodified car, and Ace would pay me. It was a simple, happy arrangement.

Other than collecting my cash from him, I didn't see Ace much. He tried to strike up a conversation with me multiple times, but I basically ignored him, took the money and ran.

I worked hard and long hours to get those cars, and so when Friday came, I gave myself the night off. Not that I knew what I should do with it. I decided to try my luck at Irby's first. If Joe would let me shoot some pool and if Ace wasn't around, it would be perfect.

Irby's was packed out – saying that, for such a small place, it didn't take much. I stood at the door, scanning the room to see who was around. I couldn't see Ace, but Billy and Charlie were amidst the crowd, and I didn't mind those two. I started to make my way over to where they were playing when I noticed Keith sitting on the other side of the room. And he had his arm around a girl. She was cute, and her blonde hair fell around her shoulders in loose curls. The two looked like a perfect couple, grinning and joking with each other as they were locked into their own private conversation like the rest of the world didn't exist.

I made a quick exit and stood on the sidewalk with my heart palpating. I hadn't stopped thinking about him all week. I had been missing him like crazy. But he didn't look like he missed me. I felt stunned. Rejected. Angry. Disappointed. Regretful. And of course, jealous. Part of me voiced that I couldn't have expected him to wait for me, but another part had expected him to.

I walked up the street to the diner. I had talked to one of the other waitresses that week, and she said it had been sold to out-of-towners, a family with teenagers who would be working it, and so we weren't expecting our jobs back. I pressed my forehead against the large storefront windows and closed my eyes to remember the warmth of Rose and Violet's hugs as they first welcomed me into their home before they fed me up on their famous spicy pumpkin soup. But when I opened my eyes again, what I saw set me back into the bleak world of reality.

The place had been gutted right down to the four walls. The booths were gone, the counter was gone, and even the floor had been ripped up. Whoever did it would have had every legal right to, but I couldn't help feeling personally violated.

I took in a good lungful of night air and then wondered what I should do next. Go home and cry was a serious option. All the motivation I had to find myself a good time had been sucked dry from my soul.

I walked a block up the street when a rowdy bunch of hooligans rolled past me in a patchy grey, 1949 Ford Custom convertible, whistling and jokingly catcalling me. I watched as they rolled down the street and parked up outside of Irby's. The blaring radio died out as Ace cut the engine, and Eyeball, Vince, Fuzzy and Jack spilled out over the sides of the vehicle before heading into the bar.

Ace didn't follow them. He got out, leaned against the front fender of his car and folded his arms. "Where you goin', Cass?" he called.

I was going to do my usual and walk away, but I decided I should probably make some effort to stay on good terms with him considering he was successfully making me a lot of money. I walked towards him, non-enthusiastically, dragging my feet.

"You look down, what's the problem?" he asked.

"I'm always down. You've never noticed?"

"Come in with me, shoot some pool. Take your mind off things."

"No thanks. Not tonight."

"I'll promise to go easy on you." He took my hand and went to drag me inside, but I dug my heels in.

"No, Ace – I'm not going in there."

He quirked an eyebrow and then opened the door and stuck his head in. He looked around and then came back out to me with a grin. "Chambers got a new girl, huh?"

I'm sure I went fire-engine red, and I couldn't look him in the eyes.

"This place is a drag anyway," he said. "How 'bout I take you out somewhere? It's all on me. Your pick."

"I dunno… I'm still mad at you," I grumbled.

"For what?"

"You were supposed to come with me that night. Vince had to rescue me. Again."

"I came looking for you right after."

I stared at him in astonishment. "When?"

"I had half a drink with Ants – that was it. Then I walked around, drove around, couldn't find you anywhere. By the time I got back to the garage, you'd been and gone. By the way, the place fucking stunk. Any idea why?"

My eyes went wide. "No…"

"Even waited outside your house for an hour."

"You're kidding…"

"Where were you?"

I sighed and glanced towards Irby's, giving myself away.

"Fuck. Cass, I told you-"

"I know what you told me, but I was just so angry at you and frustrated at everything, and I still don't understand why you wanted to keep me away from him! That, in there," I pointed at Irby's, "is your doing!"

"I told you why. Loose lips sink ships."

"No. That's not why. Keith is doing dodgy shit of his own," I said in a whisper, considering where we were. "He'd be stupid to talk, and he doesn't have a reason to."

Ace looked at Irby's and all around. This conversation was getting too hot to be having in such a public place. He took my hand and led me down an alleyway to where it was a bit quieter. "Keith gets protective," he said. "He's already tried to talk Eyeball outta doing shit, and if Keith finds out what you're doing for me-" Ace paused, and I could tell he was holding back on something.

"You think he'd try to stop me? I'm not stopping. I need this, Ace. The money's not coming from anywhere else."

Ace's eyes faltered just a fraction which, to me, looked a tad guilty and a whole lot suspicious.

"Or… could it?" I asked. "Keith could have helped me. Couldn't he?" This anger was starting to do my head in. "You selfish asshole," I whispered.

I went to storm off, but Ace grabbed me and pushed me up against the brick wall. "Don't be so ungrateful. If it weren't for me, you would've been fucked. And don't think Chambers would've helped you. You only ever met him 'cause I sent you there." Ace leaned his arm up against the wall as he came in close to my ear. "I found you, Cass. You're mine."

"Oh yeah? So, why me? Why don't you just get more of your minions on board?"

Ace looked me dead in the eyes. "You did eight cars in your first week. I don't think Eyeball or Vince has ever done that. I don't think I've ever done it. 'Cause it's fucking stupid. If any of us got seen in so many places in the same week, we'd get red-hot heat. But you – you're a girl. And an unknown. You can do more because no one will suspect you." He tucked my hair behind my ear and grazed my cheek with his fingers. "You're like a wolf in sheep's clothing."

My breath hitched at his touch. Those stony blue eyes could look at me like no other. In a single second, he rekindled feelings that I thought were snuffed out for good. I tried to ward against it. I told myself he's just a bad temptation. But then… I remembered the night he put at me at peace with my mother. Having him hovering over me right there, I couldn't help wanting him closer.

The bad temptation was a serious one for me.

"So, it's all business, huh?" I asked, and I instantly regretted it. He had Antonia, and I had to remember that. "I need a drink."

"I'll get you one."

"Ace, just leave me alone for a bit," I said, walking off.

"Where are you gonna go for one, huh? Thought you didn't wanna go into Irby's and see Chambers smooching up to that blonde?"

I stopped in my tracks. He made a decent sized point. "OK. OK, Merrill. One drink."


I sat outside, perched on the edge of Ace's back porch, breathing in the warm night air and looking out at the stars. With a glass in my hand and a bottle by my side, I quietly drowned my sorrows. Ace had a rocking chair out there, and he rocked back and forth with its wood softly creaking underneath him. We had been there for an hour and neither of us had said a word to each other. Ace seemed to understand my mood and that I need time to uncoil. Sometimes, I felt like he was out there just to keep an eye on me. Like he wanted to make sure I was OK.

He disappeared for a minute, probably to relieve himself, and I took the chance to let go and have that little cry I'd been aching for all night. I could get angry at Ace for losing Keith for me, but I had to admit to myself that it wasn't his fault Keith got over me so quickly. I was beginning to feel like maybe Keith was just a typical guy after all. Ace came back after being gone a while, and I quickly wiped my tears and took a soothing breath. After that, I felt like I was over it. I was over everything and ready to face the world again.

It's funny how sometimes a good ball and a deep breath can relieve you of even the heaviest of loads.

Ace sat down in his chair and began to rock again. He lit a cigarette and flicked the match into the dirt and then looked at me.

"I wanna do something," I said.

"What?"

"You said you wanted to take me out, so let's go."

"Alright. Where?"

"How about… Show me your idea of a good time. A really good time."

Ace smirked. "A really good time always ends in a lay – you up for that?"

"Come on," I laughed. "You can do better. What's the wildest thing you would pick to do on a Friday night when the world's your oyster?"

"You want wild, huh?"

"Yeah – I mean, I know boosting a bunch of cars is pretty wild, but it's not a ton of fun. What else you got?"

"Something wilder than boosting cars? What the fuck happened to Grandma?"

I grinned and got up to walk over to him, and I leaned down on the arm of his chair, stopping it in mid-rock. "So, what's your idea of a wild good time?"

Ace got a subtle smirk at the corner of his lips and a wily look in his eyes. "Alright, I got something in mind. We could even make some cash on the side if you're willing to gamble."

"Guess we'd better stop by my place then."

Ace had moved his '38 Dodge pickup from his place to a secure garage off to the side of the workshop. The lights came on bright as we walked in, and the deep purple beauty appeared before my eyes in its full glory. I ran my fingers down its side, and they glided like it had been painted with fine silk. I couldn't stop staring. I admired every detail from the curvature of the rear fenders to the black leather interior, to the grill and cute round headlights out front.

"Is this thing legal?" I asked him.

"'Course it is. I got papers and everything."

"Unlike the Lincoln."

"The Lincoln was legal."

"The lock didn't work."

"That car was for doing jobs. It was expendable. What's the point of fixing it up primo?"

"I guess."

"This baby ain't like that." He lifted one side of the hood, and we both looked down at the engine which was pristine clean. "It's got triple carbies, I put in an alcohol system and it runs on nitro."

"Nitro?"

"You add some of that to your fuel, and your 200 horsepower engine will run like a 300."

"What kind of speeds can you get?"

"I've had it up to 140 myself on the ¼ mile, which ain't bad since the top fuel dragsters are doin' 160-200."

"So, when do I get to drive?" I smiled eagerly.

He smirked and messed my hair good. "Patience."


We rolled out and headed towards Lewiston-Auburn. I was happy to relax back on the passenger's side and feel the engine rumbling in my chest. I closed my eyes and listened to the constant chugging rhythm with the little pops and thumps giving it that extra liveliness. And when Ace put his foot right down on the gas, boy she roared. That thing growled. It had bite. It startled me every time he did it because, damn, it was loud. It made my ears ring. We had to yell at each other to talk even when he was doing 70, and we couldn't hear each other at all if he was flooring it down a straight, of which there were plenty. He got it up to 120mph at one point; we zipped through the moonless night with our headlights lighting the way ahead and they were only just keeping up.

I kept stealing little glances to my left. I tried not to, but I couldn't help it. Damn, he suited that pickup. At one point he glanced over at me as well, and we just looked at each other and he grinned.

"You ready for this?" he asked.

"I'm a ready teddy."

"It's just up here," Ace yelled over the engine noise.

We were about ten miles from Lewiston when he veered off onto a side road and then drove deeper into the countryside. We could soon see lots of lights in the distance, and as we got closer, I realized they were headlights and that there was a gathering happening right there on the side of the highway.

There was a large section of gravel off to the left where most of the cars were parked, and teen guys and girls alike were everywhere, mingling with the crowd and going car to car to check out each other's rides. There were some beauties about, and I couldn't help thinking that they would make nice additions to my list of catches for the week.

Ace pulled into the center of the crowd and turned off the engine, and heads turned to see who'd just arrived.

"Most people 'round here have deep pockets," Ace said. "Fuck, some have bottomless pits."

We both got out of the car, but I just casually hung on the door while Ace met up with a few people that seemed to know him.

"Hey, pal," one of the guys said, slapping Ace's hand. "Haven't seen you around for a while."

"But you know I'll always be back," Ace smirked.

Their voices were suddenly overpowered by the sounds of engines being revved to the hilt about 50 yards down the road. I stood up on the runner of Ace's Dodge to get a better view, and I could see them sitting on an invisible starting line, side by side, both facing down the road. The light of a small torch blinked on and the wheels of the cars screeched as their owners floored it. All I could smell was gasoline and burnt rubber, and my ears were filled with the high-pitched screams of the cars tearing down the highway before they faded into the distance.

"Well, go around to everyone and fuckin' ask!" Ace yelled at the guy. I guessed this friendly reunion had taken a nasty turn.

"What's going on?" I asked Ace, catching up to him. "No one wants to race you?"

"Just like I said."

"And… he is?"

"Let's just call him, 'the bookie'."

"Right."

The guy looked like he was doing as he was told, walking into each little group and striking up conversations with them. People would look over at Ace and his ride and shake their heads, and then the guy would move onto the next group. Ace got visibly more frustrated every time he was turned down.

"Goddamn it…" he muttered. He threw his cigarette to the ground and crunched it into the gravel with his boot. "What the fuck are you all here for, huh?" His voice resonated through the thin night air as he spoke, and every head in the crowd that wasn't already staring at us turned our way. Ace reached into his pocket and pulled out a roll of notes. "Two hundred bucks to race me. Who's got the balls?"

Nobody moved.

"Pack of gutless fucking assholes. This place has turned to bullshit!"

"It's like I told you six months ago, Ace," the bookie said, returning to us. "No one wants to race you no more 'cos everyone knows there ain't no chance of beating you."

"OK. OK," Ace nodded as if he was finally accepting that it just wasn't gonna happen. "Then what about her?" he tilted his head at me.

The eyes of the entire crowd were suddenly on me, and my heart beat faster. Some people laughed. Some of them gave me the "you can't be serious" stare. And most of them raised their hands.

"Oh, did I mention the stakes are higher for her?" Ace said. "Two grand. Right here." He pulled out another roll of cash, significantly thicker than the first, and waved it in the air.

The hands that were raised went down again.

"Two grand?" I slurred.

"Nothin' makes a race wilder than risking a ton of money on it."

"Alright – if you're sure…"

To be honest, I didn't know he was going to raise the stakes to that level so early. I thought we might spread our money out evenly, over a few races. Lose a couple first and then take them for all they were worth. But it looked like we wouldn't get a few races. It was all or nothin'.

"Ace two grand is way too much," I said rather loudly. "You only taught me how to drive last week. You do realize that the chances of me actually winning are slim to none, right?"

"Baby, you know I need the cash, and if these pussies won't-"

"I'll race her," somebody interrupted.

I looked over at the guy who spoke; some well-dressed rich kid who was sitting on the hood of his Chevy, chewing a piece of gum and ogling and smiling at me.

Like a fish on a hook.

"Two grand," Ace reinforced.

The guy started counting out his money, and that's when it got real.

"You got the cash, Ace?" the bookie asked. Ace took the fatter wad from his pocket and slapped it in the bookie's hand. "Alright, you two are up next."

The familiar feeling of adrenaline began to flow through me like some addictive toxin, one that was always there every time I put my picks in a lock. I had asked Ace for something wild - something that would top the height of my usual rush – and he gave it to me.

I climbed into the truck and fired the engine, hearing it roar to life. God, I loved that sound. I closed my eyes and focused on it for a moment, listening to that constant, rhythmic chugging with the little pops and thumps. Earlier that night, Ace told me that he'd never lost a race, sure, but neither had his truck. And it sounded ready for anything right now.

"Back it up, babe," Ace said to me through the window.

I backed it out of the section of gravel and onto the road. One guy waved me forward, and I made sure I claimed the right-hand lane. It was 3 am, but that didn't mean it wasn't possible for someone to unexpectedly drive up the road mid-race. The other guy was yet to roll out, and so I decided to warm up my wheels like Ace had suggested to me earlier.

I'd only had an hour with him, but I'd been taught by the best.

After three warm-up starts, I was rearing to go. The truck was rearing to go. I could feel it getting more and more frustrated with me every time I put the brakes on and rolled it back. I looked across at the other guy who was sitting alongside me now, chewing his gum as he tipped his imaginary hat and smiled.

"You good to go?" Ace yelled at me at my window side and I nodded. "Just do what I taught you, right? Do what we practiced. When that light goes on, you just fucking floor it. Up through the gears as fast as you can and keep it straight. Really fucking straight."

I nodded again.

"Bring us home the cash, baby." He leaned in through the window and pecked me on the cheek, but I was so jazzed and pumped and ready to go that I barely noticed.

I wound up the window so it wouldn't create any drag, and some chick in a poodle skirt with a flashlight walked over to stand right in the middle of the road in front of us. I gripped my wheel tight and let out a sharp breath.

The flashlight lit up and I hit the gas. My wheels spun before they found their grip and launched me into the night. The truck took off like an excited dog being let off its chain. It just kept getting faster and faster like there was no limit to the speed it could do, and it held as steady as a surgeon's hand. I didn't look across to see how the other guy was doing, but I knew he was there somewhere. I could feel his energy. I could feel him creeping up on me, riding up next to me and then knowing he had me. The fear of losing this pumped a rush through my bloodstream that I never felt before and probably never will again. I found myself finally giving that race the respect it deserved.

After a few seconds, I looked to my side, and I couldn't see him. He wasn't there. I looked in my mirrors and could see headlights in the distance turning around and heading back the other way. I was surprised the quarter mile was over so quick. And I had no idea if I had won or lost.

I slowed the car down and went to U-turn when I noticed flashing red lights in the distance. Lots of them.

"Shit…"

I spun the truck around and shot back in the direction I'd come from just as fast as I'd raced. I got back to the crowd and Ace was waiting for me with the biggest grin I'd ever seen on him, but I was so shaken by what was coming up behind me that I didn't register why.

"Ace, get in! We've got company!"

I scooted over to the passenger's side, and Ace looked back down the road before hastily jumping into the driver's seat.

"They're comin' up fast," he said, before putting his foot down.

The problem was, by now everyone else had realized what was happening, and 40 or so cars were scattering like a flock of ducks after hearing a shotgun. Everyone was fleeing out of the section of gravel on the side, and because we were on the road, our way forward was blocked. Ace leaned on the horn and yelled out various obscenities as he forced his way forward. I thought I counted about six cop cars behind us, and some of them had already started writing tickets. We got out to the main road, and everyone else was turning left to Lewiston and so we could freely turn right towards home. We got a fair way down the road and couldn't see anyone following us, and I finally felt I could breathe easy.

"That was close," I said, stating the obvious. "What would they've done if they caught you there?"

"Fine. Couple nights in the cooler. Impound the truck. Whatever they wanted to. And I think they would have taken this." He reached into his jacket, pulled out four rolls of cash as thick as my wrist and dumped them on the bench seat between us.

"Oh, my…"

"You fuckin' won that race, Cass. You kicked his ass. He didn't stand a chance."

I just blinked at him – it was too much to comprehend.

"How much in each of these?" I asked, holding up a roll.

"Two grand."

"So this is eight grand? How the- You only bet him two!"

"There were a few others who wanted to get in on the action. Thought they could make a quick buck," he smirked.

"So, you bet everything we had."

"Yep. We bet four and we won four. Two for you and two for me baby."

My brain finally registered it all and let it sink in. I leaped from my seat and squealed with joy. "Oh my… I can't believe we did that!"

"You wanna go out and celebrate?"

"It's 4 am," I chuckled.

"So? I'll grab a bottle from home and we'll go up to the view or something," he shrugged.

Little nerves started swimming around in my stomach.

"Can you hear that?" I asked. I swore I could hear some high-pitched whining noise over the engine.

"Shit…" Ace said, checking his mirrors. "Where the fuck did he come from?"

I turned around to see red lights coming up fast behind us.

"Oh, shit! Where can we hide the money?"

"Tuck it under the seat."

I did as he said and noticed that he wasn't slowing down. He kept glancing in the rearview mirror, and he got this serious look of concentration like he was about to pick a fight.

"You are gonna pull over, aren't you?" I asked.

"He's driving a shit heap and we're in a hot rod. Grab hold of something."

Knowing there was no chance of talking him out of it – and I wasn't sure I wanted to anyway – I grabbed the door with one hand and the seat with the other. Ace tightened his grip on the wheel and slowly sunk his foot to the floor. I noticed he was keeping it steady at around 90mph and I wondered why he wasn't going for more. A road was coming up with a big sign pointing to Motton, and Ace swerved down it with the cop soon screaming after us. It was then that Ace gunned it. He slammed his foot down so hard we were thrown back in our seats. The needle on the speed gauge surged past the 100mph mark, 120 and then 140, and the lights of the cop car slowly disappeared into the distance.

I saw a side road to our left come up, but I didn't expect Ace to turn down it… let alone make it… let alone not roll it. But that's exactly what happened. It was a dirt road, and we skidded into it at full speed, making me kiss the window as we went around and creating a dust storm in our wake. We kept going down the dirt road and then took a right into another dirt road before braking and slowing down. Ace pulled off the road, rolled down a short bank and parked behind a farm shed of some kind. He quickly turned off the lights and engine, cloaking us in the darkness.

"Holy shit…" I panted. "Do you think he saw the dust?"

Ace was already on his way out to check, and I followed him, heading back up the bank and onto the road. We looked out over the dark farmlands and could just see the cop's whirling red sirens in the distance as he was now well on his way to Motton.

"That was insane!" I said.

"Your first cop chase. And you say I never give you a good time."

I cracked a grin. "I don't think I've ever said that."

I could barely see Ace's gaze lingering on me in the darkness. He took a step closer and slid a hand around my neck, and I hardly had a second to be surprised before his lips were on mine. There was a moment of gentleness, but his kiss quickly turned greedy and obsessive. Ruthless and wild. He didn't just kiss, he devoured, and all I could do was let him consume me. Because none of me could put up a fight. I was too listless. Helpless. I was out of my mind.

He pulled away, and I opened my eyes to find him holding my head in his hands and staring at me with an amused grin. My conscious was somewhere far in the distance, and I couldn't connect with it. It was like I'd suddenly gone stupid. I tried to speak sense, but all I could do was stammer, "Oh God…"

He leaned in for another go, but I came to my senses and veered away.

"Ace… you've got a girlfriend."

"Don't worry about that baby, I'm gonna break it off with her." He went to my neck, and the feeling of his stubble grazing my skin as he gently sucked at it pulled me into a trance. It took every bit of willpower I had to pull myself back out of it. I was afraid of giving myself to Ace and then finding out that he couldn't let her go. Every second I was with him I had to remind myself not to get too emotionally involved. Because that was the mistake I made with James.

"Just wait. I can't do this with you right now."

"Cass, she's good as gone. Don't worry about it."

"But I am worried. I've been down this road before and I'm not doing it again."

"Doing what?"

"Being a guy's 'bit on the side'."

"Baby, it's not gonna be like that."

"Words don't mean anything."

"So I gotta ditch her first."

I sighed. "Look… what do you want? A fling or a relationship?"

"All I want is you, baby." He made another move as if he thought that were a prize-winning answer, and I placed a hand on his chest.

"Well, if you want this to work, then you've gotta clean your slate first. Because I don't want her getting in between us. Taking you away from me."

"It's you who's taking me away from her. Last week, I left her at the bar to find you, remember?"

"And why? Because you sure seemed happy to go with her in the first place."

"She saw we were getting close and flipped her lid. I said I didn't want her fucking dramas and left."

"So, she did see us. Should I be worried about that? Vince said she's dangerous."

Ace laughed to himself. "Dangerous, huh? She's the jealous type, but she's never killed anyone if that's what you're getting at."

"Oh well, that's reassuring…"

Ace put his arms around me again and pulled me into him. "You want this, right?"

I hesitated for a moment and then nodded.

"Then she's as good as gone." He pecked me on the lips - a little test kiss to see if I was gonna take the bait. But I pressed my hand against his chest to hold him back.

"She's not as good as gone until she's gone. Do it and I'm yours."