As cameras flash and the crowd cries out for Ben, Rey trails along and does her best to keep him safe without being dazzled by the experience. Within the shelter of Ben's dressing room, Ben offers to give Rey a taste of his powers as they come to understand that maybe there's more to their attraction than they both realized.
AKA: Inappropriate use of the Force (last third of the chapter)! *Edited for FFnet and tags updated on Ao3*
The lights were flashing before the transport's door had even opened. Ben carefully shimmied out of the craft, laughing and waving as Rey watched on from the shuttle. It looked like a bomb had gone off; it was so disorienting. The lights were so bright that Rey was temporarily blinded, which left her scrambling a bit as she followed behind Ben, combat umbrella high in hand as she tried to protect him from the rain and from anyone who might want to get too close.
As Rey's eyes adjusted to the chaos, she realized two things simultaneously: one, Ben was right, she wasn't ready for this; and two, she was painfully underdressed. She was suddenly quite glad that Ben had done her hair and makeup. At least she wouldn't look entirely out of place. People were yelling, and so many lights were flashing, Rey worried that she wouldn't be able to keep up with it all or Ben.
Finally, Ben came into focus. Rey quickly picked up her pace and came alongside him as he worked the crowd. First, he spoke with a holonist, but she wasn't sure of their name—a Devaronian male who had painted his horns in red glitter, so they shone in time with the flashing lights. Rey could just make out their conversation, and when the holonist tried to change the topic to something salacious—Ben's rumored love life of late, he shifted away with a smile before passing along to the next interviewer. There looked as if there was an endless line of sentients, all waiting for their chance to talk to the Ben Solo.
It all looked so natural, the way he moved, the smiles he shared, the low tenor of his laugh. Ben looked like he was in his element, as he seamlessly made his way down the reception line and closer to the venue. An energy field surrounded much of the area, which worked to repel the ceaseless Arkanis rain. As Ben stepped under its glow, Rey sheathed her umbrella. The building's exterior was an edgy looking glass and metallic structure, and she could see the glittering interior which they were being funneled towards.
The Escape, evidently the venue's name, scrolled on a giant holographic marquee. It was probably meant to look modern and be a sign of the world's growing wealth and prestige, but Rey thought the whole presentation looked a little gaudy. But that was the whole Aristo world, wasn't it?
And, as much as Rey found it abhorrent, a part of her was also drawn to it like a moth to the flame. And as the cameras flashed, and the crowd cried for more, Rey couldn't help but wonder how many people ended up getting burned under the irrepressible light of fame?
Still, Ben flowed seamlessly through it all, and Rey hovered close enough that she could keep him safe, but far enough away that she didn't have to deal with the holonist or his fans. The procession seemed endless and Rey didn't know how he had the energy to answer the same questions over and over—how he was able to think on his feet and answer so obligingly to people who were all clamoring to find the latest piece of gossip to dig through. It was repugnant, and she was suddenly very grateful for her anonymity. How anyone lived like this was beyond her ability to comprehend.
It must be… exhausting? she thought. But maybe Ben was energized by it all? He must have been used to it considering how easily he passed through the line, while still making time for his fans who all but shrieked his name. Some were respectful, Rey thought as she watched them interact with Ben, and some were obviously looking to instigate some shit or resell signed photos.
The fact remained, as much as they all thought they loved him, they didn't actually know him. Who did know Ben Solo? Did Rey even really know him? She wasn't sure, but it seemed she was starting to be able to understand him—to know him, just a little. And though she knew the reasons why she shouldn't get close, and they were numerous, she liked him a lot more than she'd have thought she would.
Physical attraction aside, because he was undeniably attractive to her, he was… More than he appeared to be and that realization came with its own set of challenges. To admit that Ben was more than she'd first thought would be taking a step down an unknown path, one where she was opening herself up to him and potential hurt.
Vulnerability hadn't been rewarded in Rey's life, but maybe the hard shell she'd built around her heart didn't make her dissimilar to Ben at all. Maybe it made them similar, albeit with starkly different life experiences. Sometimes, she'd recognize that same kindred loneliness in his eyes. Even when he was playful, there was an edge to Ben that she recognized.
It was hard for Rey to trust, but maybe she needed to stop thinking in absolutes and start living in the moment? It could hurt, it could be bad, it could break her to open up to Ben, but wouldn't he be opening himself up to the same potential for heartbreak as she? At first, it had almost been easy to dismiss him as a vapid, heartless Aristo, but the more time she spent with him, the more she realized her impressions of him hadn't been entirely correct, which made things complicated.
Rey trailed close while Ben seamlessly worked the line, the flowing layers of his outfit glittering as the cameras flashed. He moved with an effortless sort of grace, despite his sky-high heels, and never once tripped up as he walked. Rey was not so secretly jealous of his poise and she had half a mind to make him spill all of his fashion secrets because she knew there had to be a trick to walking in shoes like that.
Smile after smile, question after question, picture after picture, Ben fielded it all and, after what felt like an eternity, he blew one final kiss to the crowd and they made their way inside. Rey had thought that the chaos would end after they got into the venue. She was about to be disappointed.
This wasn't just a charity auction, it was a party. Glittering crystals descended from the ceiling in long ropes, casting their rainbow gleam around the entranceway as Rey was dazzled by the lights. Great columns were spread across the floor and within each, the impression of a dancer moving seductively. Every so often, the dancer would disappear, and swirling colors or brightly patterned artwork would take their place.
The whole effect was dizzying and Rey had to stop herself from reaching out and grabbing at Ben's sleeve to keep grounded. Frenetic music resonated throughout the area and added to the din. It'd be hard to hear anything over the noise and, not for the first time, she wished she'd had the money for auricular enhancements. Considering she was supposed to be Ben's bodyguard, being able to hear would have been nice.
Glad I'm good at reading a crowd, she thought.
Even the air was perfumed, which contrasted wildly from the sentients who were openly smoking tabac throughout the establishment. Serving droids and sentients served drinks and appetizers throughout the room, while a dark stage waited to be revealed behind thick, velvety curtains. The venue wasn't full yet, which mean they still had time before the main event was to start. At least, that was what Rey hoped.
Just when Rey was about to ask Ben what they should expect next, a terse protocol droid found them and indicated that they were to follow along to a dressing room that had been reserved especially for Ben.
Tall, and fashioned from inky black metallic plating, the droid blended into the low light of the room, and almost seemed to disappear before their eyes. Rey thought the droid must be great at getting intel and jealously coveted that skill. Ben and Rey managed to stay close to the droid as they were led speedily through the crowd, behind the stage, and finally into a warm, dimly lit dressing room.
Refreshments had been, blessedly, already set out, and the droid offered to get anything they needed, though it seemed that they would have preferred to do anything but.
Ben took a look around the room. "I think this is sufficient. Would you let Armitage know I've arrived?"
"Indeed, this has already been done, sir," the droid replied. "The event is scheduled to start in two hours. Is there anything else you require?"
"Just solitude and privacy. See that we aren't disturbed until we're needed for setup," Ben directed.
"Very good, sir," the droid said before quickly disappearing from the room. The door slid shut behind them, the locking mechanism engaging with a discernable click.
"Okay, so… what the fuck is all of this?" Rey managed when she and Ben were finally in private. "This doesn't seem like some charity event. It's a party!"
"I told you it was going to be a lot," he replied before settling into a hover-chair that was set before a large dressing table and vanity mirror. Ben powdered his face before grabbing some cleansing wipes as he continued, "It's all part of the show."
"And you're okay with this whole thing? They're, what? Selling off your time for credits to some sort of cause?" Rey marveled.
Ben shrugged. "I owed Armitage, and it's a small price to pay compared to what he managed to do for me."
"And what did he do for you?" Rey asked.
Ben smiled at her through his reflection and Rey realized that was the only answer she was going to get. "You're not doing a very good job at being honest with your bodyguard," she grumbled.
"And my bodyguard isn't doing a very good job at being trusting," he replied.
"Where's 3PO, anyway?" Rey asked.
Ben gestured to the room. A large wardrobe hovered in the corner and what looked like all the makeup that could possibly exist in the galaxy had been set out on the dressing table. "He's already been here. I imagine he's doing exactly what I told him to do."
"And what's that?"
"Spying," he joked. At least, she thought he was joking.
Rey rolled her eyes. "What are we going to do now? Sit and wait?"
Seemed to Rey that there was a lot of hurry up and waiting involved, which irked her because she did not like to waste time under any circumstances. Get in, get the job done, get out. But that sort of gumption didn't sit well with people who were wont to indulge—and look good while they did it.
Ben's lip quirked as his eyebrow raised. "We have some time and a very comfy looking couch."
"I'm not sleeping with you on a couch, Ben," Rey assured him.
"What about a bed? Or against the wall?" he quipped.
Rey rolled her eyes and tried to keep from imagining those scenarios because she knew, somehow, he'd know.
"Are you this charming with all sentients or is this just something you save for me?" she replied.
This time, Ben swiveled in his chair to face her. His face took on an uncharacteristically serious look as he quietly assured her, "There are so many things that I only do for you. It's upsetting, really."
"What is?"
"To lose my head so completely. You've got me wrapped around your finger and you hardly know it."
Rey blinked, stuck between disbelief and shock as he turned away from her. Did he mean that? There was no way someone like her had any influence over a man like Ben, right? But the way he looked at her, his tone, it was all… so much like he meant it. Had she gotten this all wrong from the start?
"You're hard for me to figure out," Rey quietly admitted.
"I don't see why," Ben replied. "Most people seem to think that I'm an open book."
Rey shook her head before staring into Ben's reflection. "That's just because they don't know you very well."
Ben smiled, and though he didn't agree, Rey knew that she was right.
"Well, I have a solution to this dilemma. It's time to share some dirty secrets," he purred, and though it didn't sound like he was taking this very seriously, Rey could tell that some of his levity was being used to diffuse her unease. He often used humor for her benefit, she realized. What other concessions had he made to put her at ease, she wondered.
Rey scrunched her face a little. "No, I can't tell you all of my deep dark secrets. It would ruin your impression of me."
"Funny. That's exactly what I'm looking to do," he replied while wiping the plum-colored lipstick from his face.
"What do you mean?"
"I'd love the chance to ruin your impression of me," he said with a grin.
Maybe this was a chance to get into his head, and Rey wasn't stubborn enough to deny him this time, even though he clearly wanted her to ask him about his secrets. Normally, she'd not take the bait, but she was curious about what he'd reveal.
Her shoulders slumped a little as she relented and urged, "Fine. Tell me a secret, Ben. And make it a good one." Maybe she wasn't quite ready to tell him all of her secrets, but she wasn't opposed to learning some of his. Ben lived his life out in the open, or so it seemed, but there was a private side to him that not many were privy to. What made him tick? What motivated him? What secrets was he keeping—from his mother, from her? Despite herself, Rey wanted to know more about Ben.
He sat for a long moment, hand hovering in front of his face as he stared into the mirror. "I like the attention, but I know it's not good for me," he finally revealed.
"The fame?"
"Yeah, I like the fame, but not everything that comes with it. I know it's fake—the love, the adoration—but I crave it."
"And they're all so willing to give it to you," Rey added thoughtfully.
"They give me almost everything I need."
"Almost, but not quite?"
His eyes flashed with amusement. "Exactly. And sometimes it's…," he trailed off.
"Lonely," Rey finished for him. Somehow, she could feel it. The bone-deep sadness that came of a lifetime of feeling alone.
"Is that why I'm really here, Ben?" Rey wondered aloud. Had his mother arranged for her to be his bodyguard because she'd sensed some sort of connection between the two of them? Or was she hoping Maz would report back her findings from Rey's debriefings? Maybe both. But it begged the question, why was Ben okay with it?
Did he want her close to him, too? And why? Why did he want her, not just close to him, but in his arms, pressed up against a wall close to him?
"Is it so hard to tell?" he asked softly.
"Yes! I wasn't exactly nice to you when we first met. Hell, I'm still not that nice to you!" she rambled.
Ben laughed softly. "I like the challenge and I like you."
"Why!?" she cried and stopped just before admitting that even she didn't much like herself. An Aristo like him had no reason to fawn over someone like her. It was nonsensical!
"Ben, I'm... I don't know…," she trailed off. Words were hard when he was talking to her like this.
"I know," he said softly.
And she knew that he was telling the truth. Whatever she was feeling, the fear, the disappointment, the frustration, the anger, she understood. It didn't matter how he understood, he just did.
Rey nibbled her lip and tried to disperse some tension by urging, "Tell me another?"
Ben went back to his makeup, slowly transforming his face from the somewhat subdued look he'd had before into something spectacular for the auction. "I spent much of my childhood with my uncle on Bespin, but I didn't fully escape the ways of the Jedi."
"What do you mean? Aren't the Jedi… gone?" Rey only knew about the Jedi from stories. They were almost mythical creatures to her mind, so it was weird to hear Ben talk about them as if they'd been a part of his life. Though, it made sense given that she'd seen him use some unusual powers before. He had to have learned them somewhere.
Ben sighed. "Not entirely. I spent some unhappy summers with my Uncle Luke. His way… well, it's not my way. And despite his best intentions, I found that life was better when the Force wasn't so heavily involved. Though, I did learn some useful tricks."
"Like what?" Rey wondered. "How to put out candles on a birthday cake?" Though she wouldn't admit it, it had been pretty impressive to see him extinguish the candles on his cake with nothing more than a gentle wave of his hand.
Ben laughed at her teasing. "That and how to move objects with my mind, or touch without touching—I've had plenty of fun with the latter."
"I can only imagine," Rey commented. There were times with Ben that they seemed so intimately connected, it was almost like a strange power flowed through them. His touch had always been solid, but maybe she'd not been able to tell the difference?
"You look curious," he commented and Rey cursed herself for being easy for him to read.
"Well, it's just... How's that even possible?"
"To touch with the Force?"
"Well, to touch without actually touching."
Ben hummed thoughtfully. "My family is powerful in the ways of the Force, whether we want to be or not. It takes time, training, and focus, but once you get the hang of it, it's a bit like breathing."
No wonder he had such a formidable reputation—and a fan club. Being with someone like Ben would be an overwhelming mixture of decadence, never mind his strange, esoteric powers. Would it heighten his partner's responses? Was it something he did regularly, or only with individuals he cared about?
I wonder if he really is able to read my thoughts with this power, too? she wondered while trying not to think of anything specific, and failing as her thoughts turned towards Ben and his strange power.
Rey had too many questions, and her curiosity finally got the better of her as she asked, "Could you… show me? How it works, I mean."
Ben smiled as his head dipped a little to the side. "What do you want to see?" he asked softly while his hand moved. Rey watched as her combat umbrella lifted from the floor as if pulled by invisible wires.
"Whoa!" Rey gasped. "And you can move other things with this—the Force?" She tried and failed not to think of all the illicit ways she'd use a power like that. She'd never want for anything with a skill that literally let her lift from other people's pockets.
Ben shrugged. "Mmm, that and more."
"What else?" Rey couldn't stop herself from asking, leaning forward as she waited for what he'd reveal next.
Rey watched as Ben turned and reached toward her, palm up. His long fingers curled inward and she felt the faintest sensation brush across her shoulder, the hint of touch against her skin. Rey shivered and realized what a whisper-soft touch like that could do…
"Where else can you touch?" Rey asked, so quiet she was almost surprised to get an answer.
"Would you like me to show you more?"
"I just… I mean, maybe?" she offered. Just what was she playing at? Sometimes, she almost thought she was special to him. But then she'd seen how easily he'd been able to charm the holonists and his fans. So, maybe she was a little jealous, but she had no right to be. Still, she couldn't help but wonder whether she was truly special to him? Or was she just another sentient to dazzle?
Ben shook his head as his hand slipped back to his side, and Rey wondered whether the gesture was in response to her internal monologue or her words—maybe both. "I'm not interested in pushing you further than you want to go. Whatever we do together, I want it to be because you want it."
"And what about you? Do you want this?"
"I've wanted this and more for some time now, and I think you know that. But what I need to hear is how you feel. So, tell me what you want and then let me give it to you."
Rey swallowed thickly as she took a moment to think over what he was offering. Back and forth, she'd rolled over the reasons why not, but had she ever really stopped to consider that maybe Ben didn't want to hurt her? She'd been searching for something for so long, some sort of connection, that maybe she'd gotten it all screwed up in her head by thinking that pain was a necessity.
Maybe, this time, she could give in—just a little, and let someone else show her how different the world could be? And, besides, she did want him, but she was afraid of getting hurt. Maybe this could bridge the gap between her brain and her heart? Rey ignored the little voice that told her she was currently on an assignment, and all the other reasons why giving in to the temptation he offered was a bad idea. For one blessed moment, Rey allowed herself to indulge, and she only hoped that she wouldn't come to regret it.
"Show me, please. I want you to show me."
Ben nodded as a soft look came over his face. "We'll start slow. Tell me if there's anything you don't like or if you want me to stop."
It did wonders to put her at ease. As much as she thought Ben was from a different world than her, a part of her did trust him. And, besides, he'd only ever helped her out—in more than a few ways.
Rey bit her lip, suddenly nervous to be the focus of all his attention. Ben stood from his chair and offered it to Rey. "This will be easier if you're relaxed," he assured her.
Rey shook her head and mustered her courage as she insisted, "I'd rather do this sitting together, if that's okay?"
"The couch?" he asked.
Rey shook her head and pointed to his hover-chair. If she was going to indulge in Ben's attention, she'd do it right. And the temptation of his lap was too much to resist.
A smile worked its way onto Ben's lips, but he wisely said nothing as he slipped back into his chair, hand reaching out to take hers as he guided her onto his lap. As Rey settled herself against his muscular body, she was overcome by such a sweet sensation of relaxation that it almost made her whimper.
"Was that your…?"
"Hmm?" Ben murmured as his hands gently pulled her hips back, sliding her body tight against his. "I haven't started."
If it wasn't his powers, what had made her feel that way? What was it about this man that made her feel so strangely… whole? It was like every cell in her body had been crying out for his touch and, when she'd finally get it, the sensation was almost too much to bear. He was warm through the crinkly fabric of his clothes and his scent was somewhat subdued. Where he normally smelt smoky and alluring, today there were sweeter undertones to his scent. She liked the change.
"Close your eyes and let me in," he directed. He kept his hands on her hips, which she supposed was cheating because he was supposed to be doing all of this without touching, but considering she'd been the one who wanted to sit on his lap, it was her fault. Still, her eyes slipped closed, and she waited for… whatever came next.
Finally, the same sensation she'd felt on her shoulder bloomed anew against her skin, but this time it curled and tripped its way across her body. Ben's breathing was steady and constant against her back as his power rolled out from his body. Almost like a shiver, but softer.
And just when she thought she'd gotten the beat of it, his power would shift. A brush against her knee—on the inside of her thigh, before dipping higher, only to retreat and shimmer over the tips of her fingers. Once, it skimmed over the slight curve of her breast and she almost growled for all the frustration building up within her.
But what did she want? She'd asked him to show her his power, which he undeniably was doing, but did she want more? Was he waiting for her to beg? A moan nearly spilled from her lips as she realized he was waiting for exactly that. He wanted her to be an active part of their encounters, her reluctance to vocalize her desires be damned.
And that was… nice. As decadent as he had a reputation for being, Ben wasn't going to push her further than she wanted to go. That little bit of power was heady and Rey found that she was becoming addicted to the thrill of commanding the notorious Ben Solo. His deliberate teasing only left her wanting more, which was likely his plan all along.
Location, and timing, and every reason 'why not' fled from her mind as she finally pleaded, "Show me… more."
Ben's breath hitched softly and she could feel the movement against her back. She loved that she was able to elicit the same sort of responses from him. As if she made him feel just as overwhelmed as he made her feel. It was uncanny, what he was doing to her. It simultaneously felt as if he was inside her head, while his power cascaded over her body. It was more intimate than anything she'd ever experienced and was as addicting as it was devastating.
She craved more and couldn't deny the depth of her wanting. It had always been there, but Rey had managed to keep her desire back through sheer will and a depressing sort of practicality. Now, with Ben literally in her mind, it was impossible to keep her thoughts and wants to herself. And she wanted him… Judging from the erotic thoughts he shared, Ben wanted her too.
Rey let out a low groan and she felt Ben's laugh against her back. He was teasing her. He was always teasing her, but it just made Rey want him more.
She'd been dreaming about him for longer than she was willing to admit, and their encounter in the supply closet on Coruscant had only increased her longing. And now, when he should have been getting ready, when someone could interrupt them at any moment, she had him beneath her, his power encircling, as he indulged her. But that was the way of it, wasn't it?
It shocked Rey to realize, just as his power gently surged between her legs, that he was always indulging her. Never pushing her further than she wanted her to go, not really, but inching ever closer to a precipice. He wanted her and was willing for her to feel the same. She wanted him, she realized that, and her defenses were slowly being winnowed away until only something like pure instinct remained.
Yes, there were reasons why not. But there were also reasons why she most definitely should, and one of those reasons was a pooling warmth and gentle touch that was working ever so hard to get her off. He took his time, and she knew he was watching and feeling her reactions.
If she looked right now, Rey knew she'd be able to see herself in front of that big vanity mirror, cheeks flushed, head tilted back against Ben's shoulder, legs wide over his own. She should have felt embarrassed, but she didn't. Ben didn't make this feel shameful. If anything, he made her feel like he was grateful to do this for her. It was so strange.
She knew he'd look like a dark prince at her back and she'd not be able to ever get the memory of it out of her mind if she looked now. Ben gently brushed his nose into her neck, mostly keeping to his promise that he could do this without hands.
"Watch," he urged her as if in response to her thoughts.
But Rey's eyes remained tightly shut. If she looked at herself in the mirror now, it was all real—not just some magic and a fantasy she could forget. If she looked, she'd have to acknowledge that it was Ben that was making her feel this way and not just because he was the one with the Force powers, but because it was him. His power softly surged, rolling over her in an insistent wave that was eating away at the edges of her control.
Rey gasped as Ben let his power swirl around one sensitive spot after another. "Please, Rey. You should see how beautiful you are."
And he sounded almost desperate for her to see what he was doing to her. And it was his cadence, more than his sensual otherworldly touch, that finally made Rey open her eyes. It was exactly as she'd imagined. Pulled up tight against his body, she was wrapped in his magic, but it didn't make her feel powerless. It made her feel powerful. Because the way he was looking at her, the need in his eyes, made her realize just how much he wanted this too.
Pure sensation set her body alight, tingling across the planes and valleys of her form. He knew where his power needed to surge, just as he knew when to withdraw and leave her breathlessly wanting more. Rey could only imagine what it would feel like to have the full force of this magic, and his real touch combined, but for now, she'd let herself wonder a little longer before taking that step.
Her head lolled as she tried to keep herself from whining or demanding more. He'd want that, she was sure, which most certainly meant he wouldn't give it to her, just to draw things out even longer until she finally came apart. He was a royal tease, but she was beginning to like that about him, too. She was coming to like a lot of things about him, and this wicked ability was just one tick on the long list of what Ben had to offer.
His deep laugh rumbled through her as his head dipped, lips brushing against her ear as he purred, "I promise to show you exactly what I'm capable of—when I have a proper bed to fuck you on and enough time to indulge in your every whim."
"My whims?" Rey gasped as his power fluttered across her skin.
"Your whims, sweetness. All the things you've wondered about, but never tried? And all the things you've tried too, but this time, done with someone who knows how to give you what you want."
Rey's eye's fluttered. "And what do I want?"
Ben caught her eye in the mirror and flashed a wicked smile. "You're wondering whether I live up to my reputation."
Reaching back, Rey threaded her hand into his long hair, fingers curling as her hips thrust into his invisible touch. "And do you?"
She'd seen the sex-holo. She knew what he looked like underneath all those layers of clothing—mostly. But looking good and being good in bed were two different things. "Maybe it's all talk and rumors."
Ben gave a low chuckle. "I think you'll be pleasantly surprised."
From their few times together, Ben seemed to take a great deal of pleasure in ensuring that she was satisfied. Waiting with bated breath for her to beg for more. Pushing her higher and higher until the only words that spilled from her lips were insistent little whines and pleading.
It would have been embarrassing if he didn't look so fucking ecstatic about it. God, the way he watched her now—eyes wide and dark, lush lips slick and slightly parted. Every breath she took, ever hitching movement, it all belonged to him and he seemed to relish what she gave him.
He could have anyone he wanted in the galaxy, and he wanted her. There was stark honesty in his gaze when he looked at her. The mask he wore falling away until only Ben remained. She could feel the truth of his desire for her pressing insistently at her back, but also running through her with his power. More than seduction, it was a connection.
His hands flexed against her hips as his power flowed deeper her body tightened, heat pooling her pleasure mounted. Ben's power was within and without, layer upon layer of pleasure building in her body until it was almost enough. Almost.
For a wild moment, she knew with blinding certainty that she was exactly where she needed to be. That every event in her sad little life had been leading to a single point, and this was it. And within that moment, her mind was opened to the galaxy and all of its infinite possibility.
Stars bloomed at the edges of her periphery, and it was as if she was drifting alone in space, lost in the moment—afraid almost—until her perception of Ben and his touch-without-touching brought her back to the moment, focusing her mind with blinding clarity. Like a hand reaching out in the darkness to guide her.
He could see it too, whatever strange vision she'd had, and he pulled her through it and back to him. Somehow, she sensed he'd always be there to help her pull through anything. That, no matter what, he wanted to keep her safe.
Can you see this? She wondered, breathless as she fought to impart the full depth of her meaning. Can you feel how I feel? Can you feel how I want you? Are you frightened? Are you excited? Is this… am I… is any of this real?
His eyes locked with hers in the mirror as he showed her exactly what was waiting for her if she but said the word. All that he offered was laid bare, but more than that. The strange connection that ran between them thrummed as he teased her, as if this was an extension of that uncanny bond. It wasn't only sexual, though it was that too, but something as innate and wild as the breeze against her skin or the feeling of air in her lungs.
Somehow, he knew, even though she barely knew herself. Within body, mind, and soul, she felt his answer roll through her as her: Yes.
Rey's eyelids slid closed, her grip tightened, lip caught between her teeth as she fought to suppress a moan… and failed as Ben revealed the full force of his power and the depth of his feeling for her.
And though there were things she knew he was hiding. And though she knew there were reasons she should resist this. For one aching moment, the walls that surrounded her heart came down, and she felt, for the first time in… maybe ever… what it was to be cared for.
To be loved.
Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes as his power withdrew, while Ben's arms wrapped around her middle and held her tight. He was breathing as hard as she, as if he'd experienced it all through her and was just as overwhelmed.
"That wasn't… Is it always like this?" she asked as her body trembled.
"It's never… No. Never," he managed. A soft shuddering breath passed through his lips, air brushing against her neck as they both reeled.
"I thought you were going to take things slow," she tried to joke.
"I thought I was."
Maybe he would have said more. Maybe she would have said more, but a soft chime sounded throughout the dressing room and indicated the time. An hour had somehow passed, and it had seemed like she'd spent a small eternity in his arms, and also mere moments.
Reluctantly, Rey pulled herself off of Ben's body. "I'll… I mean, you need to get ready, right?"
He made quite the sight. Rey thought back to all the time she'd seen him in the holos after a night out with his hair mussed, his makeup messed, and otherwise looking like someone had rocked his world. And now, little beads of sweat trailed along his hairline and his drawn-on beauty mark was smudged, probably by her hand.
Ben's pale skin was flushed red, his lips plump as if he'd been nibbling on him, and his gown… Messy tulle split in the middle to reveal his muscular legs, clad in dark tights, split wide, and inviting as hell. She made him look like this.
He stared up at her, gaze dark and full of promise, and for a fraction of a second, she thought he wasn't going to let her leave him, but Ben took a deep breath and seemed to remember where he was and why he was there.
Ben sounded disappointed as he said, "I suppose it's time I get ready."
"I'll… leave you to it," she managed, though her voice cracked a little as she stepped away. Maybe she could use a moment to collect herself and make sense of… whatever that had been.
Rey settled into the couch and tried to pretend that her entire world hadn't just been shifted on its axis. She'd never experienced anything like that before—and certainly not about another person. It was like a veil had been lifted, revealing the secrets of the galaxy for just a moment, and the answer that had called out to the question of her heart had been, with certainty: Ben.
And what was she going to do with that piece of information? She was his sometime bodyguard. She was a smuggler. He had his life and secrets, and she had hers. The galaxy was a dangerous place for people like them. But somehow, she knew that there was more to their meeting than just chance.
She'd not believed in chance or luck, or divine providence, but when Ben had been in her mind, it was as close to a spiritual experience as she'd ever had, and it was with the last person she'd ever expected. Ben wasn't just an Aristo, he was a Force user—the Force was real, and he had it. He'd used it on her, and now she'd seen him. And he'd seen her.
And things were never going to be the same.
Author's Notes:
Me to me: You know, she could just stay on the couch.
Me to me: Yeah, but you really made that lap too appealing in the last chapter.
Mtm: fair point, lap it is.
Aka: when you know it's self-indulgent af, but do it anyway lol. The name of this chapter should have been "foreshadowing." Anyway, thanks so much for reading. I love reading all of your reviews and speculation. Some of you make it feel like you're standing over my shoulder while I write this (in a good way), which is great. Take care of yourselves and others out there! Things have been pretty uhhh no so okay over here, but I'm still doing my best to keep writing :) Also, I do my best to be courteous about updating tags (on Ao3) for this as the story goes along, but as I stated in the outset if you have concerns or questions, you're welcome to shoot me a message and I'll be happy to chat.
I'm going to do my best to keep updating on this site, but it might be challenging as the story goes on because of mature content, but I'll do what I can, but fair warning that you might need to head over to Ao3 to get the complete chapters because of this site's restrictions.
