Chapter 2: The Sickness

Two more weeks went by with much of the same as any other day. Riku went to work most of the day at the doctor's office, had class on Tuesdays and Thursdays at the college, and came home rather tired. Sora also drug himself to his job at the publisher's every day from nine to five. They mostly had the weekends together, but Riku spent most of the time doing projects for school and catching up on reading. However, they had agreed to try to talk to each other more about the little things, something they had been neglecting for some time. So, there they sat on their couch two Saturdays after their sexcapade. Sora lay in Riku's lap while the latter twirled Sora's hair in one hand and flipped a page of his book with the other. The television was murmuring in the background; Sora was drifting in and out of a light sleep…he had been so tired lately.

"Hey, Sora..." Riku suddenly blurted out of nowhere.

"Mmhmm?"

"Do you think the evil twin thing exists?"

Sora opened his eyes and looked up at his husband with a furrowed brow, "uh...what?" he couldn't help but laugh.

Riku laughed, too, "Sorry, I was just reading this bit about teaching when there are siblings in the same classroom and anyway, it also reminded me of this twin case that Dr. Kinsey had to deal with the other day at the office. And well, that led me to this question…"

"Hahaha, Riku…you're weird. I don't know," Sora thought for a moment. "I mean I guess inherently one twin has to be different in some ways than the other, so I guess one of them could be eviler. It would be weird to have someone in the world that looks exactly like you, though. Wouldn't it?"

"Uh, hells yes it would. I don't think I would like it…"

"Yeah, me either. I was going to be a twin, though, you know!"

Now it was Riku's turn to be confused, "Wait, what?"

"Yeah, my mom told me that when I was in the womb there was initially another heartbeat, but that a few weeks later it was just me. I must have absorbed them or something."

"That's fucking weird. I can't…. whoa," Riku was fascinated and immediately got his phone out to look up the details.

"I know…we …are a couple…of weirdos," Sora said yawning, drifting off to sleep once more. Later, he woke to pure darkness in his bed. It took a couple of minutes for coherent thoughts to return to his brain but when they finally did, he realized that Riku must have carried him in here hours before. Jesus, he thought, how could I be that tired? He looked to his side to find Riku's body softly rising and falling and then turned to the bright red numbers on the bedside clock: 4:52am. Sora then noticed the uncomfortable, unsettled feeling in his stomach that made him grimace. He laid there staring up at the ceiling and trying to breathe through the increasingly painful cramps. When he couldn't take it anymore, he finally swung his legs over the side of the bed and crossed the room to their bathroom. With one hand clutching his mid-section, he reached for the light switch with his free one. He squinted in the sudden light and swung close the door. He dropped to his knees above the toilet where he hovered for a minute before finally emptying his guts. Sora groaned and fell back down to sit on the cold tile floor. Why me? He flushed the toilet but remained where he was.

After a few seconds Sora could hear Riku softly calling his name from the other room. "Sora? You okay?"

"Yeah, babe, I think I just got a stomach bug. No worries, go back to sleep!"

"Aw, okay. I'll go to the store tomorrow for some meds…"

Sora also felt a strong headache coming on which renewed the nausea and he leaned over the bowl once more. When he was done, he sat there for a few minutes before deciding he was finished. He got to his feet, prepared his toothbrush and stood there lifelessly brushing his teeth. He looked up into the mirror, "Oh jesus, Sora, you look terrible," he said to his reflection. Grabbing the cup from the counter, he filled it up and drank the whole thing, filled it up again and shuffled back into the bedroom. He slipped back under the blanket and took a deep breath – stomach feeling slightly better, but his head was now pounding. He groaned softly and shut his eyes but not for sleep. After a few moments, Sora felt the warm arm of his husband cross over his chest. He opened one eye to see that Riku had moved to cuddle him, "but you might get sick, babe."

"Eh, I don' care," Riku mumbled into his pillow. Riku wrapped his lover's sick body into his arms, noticing how cold Sora felt. Sora didn't fall back asleep for another hour.

Over the next week the nausea, headache, and cramps came and went and of course Riku had taken care of everything. Finally, on the following weekend, Sora began to feel a bit better….at least physically. Although, Sora hadn't gotten nearly as much sleep as his body was asking for. They lay on the couch but this time in front of the soft blue glow of the television. They had put a light-hearted comedy on, the only thing to do when recovering from illness. Riku delicately stroked Sora's soft brown hair, feeling slightly concerned for his husband but decided to put it out of his mind since it seemed that Sora was feeling better, although the bags under Sora's eyes had remained.

All the sudden, Riku felt hot tears stain his pants right above the knee. He looked down to find Sora quietly crying, as if he was trying to hide it, during…a…comedy movie? Obviously, the movie couldn't have anything to do with this, but did he dare ask his husband what was wrong? After a minute, the tears hadn't slowed so he finally spoke, "Sora, are you okay?"

Sora sniffed in quickly and tried to pass off wiping his face with him having been asleep, "Oh…yeah, I'm fine. I think I fell asleep or something…" Sora felt guilty for lying not knowing that Riku knew the truth.

"Oh, okay…" Riku tried to act like he didn't know the truth, but, unfortunately, he did. For the rest of the movie they remained silent and Riku wasn't watching the screen anymore. He didn't know why Sora had been crying and it sent pangs through his heart.

Even though Sora seemed to be in better spirits the following week, Riku was determined to take note of anything unusual. That weekend they had planned a small party with their friends and if things hadn't gotten better or seemed normal by then, he was going to say something.

Sora didn't know what was going on, he hadn't felt this depressed for years and it seemed all out of the blue. There were times at work he just couldn't focus on anything and rarely could he eat his lunch without feeling sick. He was also determined to feel better and wanted the upcoming party to help him break his funk. Kairi, Roxas, Axel, and some others were supposed to show up for a small get together.

How can I have fun if I can't get any sleep? Sora thought one night, wide awake…again. He sighed aloud, frustrated with his body and mind for not being able to shut off despite the extreme fatigue. After an hour awake, he finally got up to use the bathroom. The minute the door clicked, Riku's eyes jolted awake, ready to take notice of anything his husband was doing. Sora climbed back in bed and Riku pretended to sleep. He heard Sora shift onto his side, facing away from him.

Dammit, I can't see his face to see if he's crying or not.

Riku debated what to do – to reveal he was awake too or not? After what seemed like ages, a small whisper broke the silence:

"Jesus…what is wrong with me?" Sora's voice whined and cracked. "Please…just let me fall asleep…"

Riku's face contorted into full on worry. So, there is something wrong. But he doesn't really know, and he can't sleep. Riku turned over and, as if asleep himself, draped his arm around his lover's body. He felt Sora relax and clutch his arm. Occasionally, though, Riku would hear small sniffles permeate the silence and they both laid there pretending to be asleep but fully, fully awake.

It was the day of the party and Sora was in charge of making most of the food, even though he wanted to die every time he looked at the stove. Riku was out buying some alcohol and various other party essentials. Sora stood in their empty kitchen stirring the melted cheese dip he had going in the crock-pot and a waft of air sent the smell right over his senses. Instantaneously, Sora turned to the sink and promptly vomited all the contents (which wasn't much) into the sink…all over the dishes. He had lost five pounds since the beginning of this "flu" and he was already pretty skinny. He looked into the mess he had made and fresh, hot tears formed in his eyes. Nothing is going right, he thought. He turned on the tap to wash away most of the puke. He picked up a plate that had been in the sink and began scrubbing. Sora was fully aware of how pathetic he looked. He had to suck it up for when Riku got home because, for whatever reason, Sora couldn't let Riku know. He felt weak and scared, something he hadn't felt in years and didn't want any drama.

Roxas and Axel were already high when they arrived but promptly offered a light to both their gracious hosts. Riku took the pipe from his best friend's hand, inhaled, and walked into the kitchen to Sora. Axel flipped on the music from the other room.

"Hey, babe…" Riku went up behind Sora who was tending to something on the stove and wrapped his arms around his lover. He blew lightly in Sora's ear.

Sora rubbed his ear on his shoulder and giggled, "are you already high?"

"Yeah, you want some?" Riku held the pipe up to Sora's mouth.

Sora looked at it with slight concern, but at this point he welcomed anything that would make him feel outside his shitty body. "Yeah," he replied and leaned forward touching his mouth to the pipe. Riku's other arm reached out with the light and Sora took a deep breath. Riku put the pipe and lighter down and took the spoon out of Sora's hand and laid it to the side. He then pressed on Sora's hips to make him turn around. Sora blew the smoke right into Riku's face and coughed a few times. They both laughed and Riku leaned in and kissed the brunet, glad to see his husband feeling much better. When they parted Sora whispered, "I'll be right in." Riku left the kitchen satisfied.

Sora brought in some drinks to the small gathering that had accrued in their small living room and promptly went to sit by Riku. Everyone took a glass but Sora.

"You're not going to have one?"

"Nah…I don't want it to upset my…" Sora patted his stomach in lieu of the last word.

Riku nodded but was too high to feel any sort of concern at this time. Axel, Roxas, and Kairi all looked at him curiously. Sora was never one to pass up a good glass of wine. They continued to talk and laugh into the night, spending time simply catching up with each other and passing the pipe around (Axel seemed to have an endless supply).

Riku got up to get more drinks, "Sora, you sure you don't want any?"

The weed had started to help his nausea, but he had better not chance it, "Nah, I'm good thanks."

"You feeling alright?" Kairi asked with a slight concerned look on her face as Riku passed her and disappeared into the kitchen.

"I don't know. I had this stomach flu a couple weeks ago, but it hasn't really gone away. I keep feeling nauseous."

Axel and Roxas looked at each other with laughter in their eyes, "Oh my god, Roxy," Axel said.

"It's finally happened," Roxas replied.

They both turned to Sora, "He knocked you up!" They both burst out laughing as Sora's face turned a bright red.

"Ha ha…funny guys." Sora rolled his eyes and saw Riku coming back in.

"What are you laughing about now?"

"Oh – nothing, my dear," Sora angrily said staring at the giggling couple. Even Kairi was laughing a bit under her breath. Sora darted his gaze at Kairi who immediately stopped.

"Oh, look! Mood swings," cackled Axel and the laughter was renewed.

The rest of the night was much needed entertainment from the shitty couple of weeks Sora had been having. He finally felt okay in his body again and Riku seemed to be relaxed again too. Once they closed the door on their last guest and the fog of the high began to life, however, Sora remembered the bit Axel had said about being knocked up. The idea seemed to permeate his thoughts as he and his husband got ready for bed, until finally he looked up at the mirror when he was brushing his teeth and realized how crazy he must actually be for thinking such a crazy thought. They both laid in each other's arms as they drifted to sleep.

Or at least Riku did. Sora laid awake, once again, unable to stop thinking about all of his symptoms he seemed to be experiencing the last couple of weeks. He gently reached over to his bedside so as to not wake Riku up and grabbed his phone. The bright glow in the darkness made him squint and he quickly turned down the brightness level. No way… Sora thought and quickly clicked his phone shut again. But after a few moments he decided he would just Google his symptoms and see what pops up. He turned to his side and typed in: nausea, vomiting, insomnia, fatigue, headaches, mood swings. He was almost afraid to look at his phone after he pressed enter. However, the anxiety forced his eyes down. He looked at the screen, reading quickly. The first, second, and third result was pregnancy which sent a fresh jolt of anxiety through his veins and his heart began pumping hard. But obviously that can't be, soooo…. Sora scrolled until he found something that men could get but it was some arbitrary disease he had never heard of. Sora's anxiety was now feeding off of the idea that he had some sort of unknown disease that couldn't be cured or was so rare that he would have to go to Sweden or some shit to be treated.

Meanwhile, Riku lay next to his lover, eyes fully open, wondering what Sora could possibly be looking at on his phone at this time of night. I will have to talk to him tomorrow…

They both awoke at roughly the same time, moving their legs and bodies together. Sora nuzzled into Riku's chest while the latter wrapped his arm around Sora. At first the moment was tranquil but the anxiety of the night before both came crashing over them. Sora's heart began to pound as he thought about all the different things that could be wrong with him. He wasn't sure what he had but he was sure of one thing: that there was something wrong with him. Riku's thoughts raced as he tried to work up the courage to say something.

"Sora," he finally whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I- I don't really know how to say this…but I know there's something going on with you…"

"You do?" Sora's voice was small.

"Well, yeah. You are my husband."

"Right," Sora said meekly, looking away.

"I want you to go to the doctor. Dr. Kinsey can see you, I'll set it up. At least she'll be able to tell you something for a relatively cheap price."

"Ugh…Riku –"

"I'm – I'm not taking no for an answer."

There was silence as Sora tried not to feel the thousand different emotions he was feeling. After a minute he couldn't hold it back anymore, whatever it was. Hot tears came to his eyes and he began to audibly cry. Riku took Sora's face in his hands to look at the brunet cry. He wiped away every tear that fell, "Babe, it's okay. It'll be alright, I promise."

"You don't know that, though…"

Sora was right, Riku didn't know that and the worst-case scenario entered his mind. But he couldn't deal with that torturous thought at this time, not when Sora was here, needing his help. "Shh…we'll figure it out together, okay?"

Sora only nodded. Riku kissed the top of Sora's head.

Dr. Kinsey's office was immaculately clean but rather welcoming too. Sora and Riku sat in one of the cold exam rooms waiting for her to be done with her last patient of the day. The anxiety that was coursing through each of their veins was unreal. Upon entering the room, Sora was confronted with diagrams of pregnancy. Dr. Kinsey was first and foremost, an OBGYN. Riku had obviously gotten used to it but Sora was oddly put off by the whole deal. Riku assured him that Dr. Kinsey was also simply a family doctor and thus would be able to help with any general issue. She was also willing to provide this examination for free, a key factor for both the men. Sora sat on the cushioned table that had that classic doctor's paper on it. I wonder how many women have had their pap smears done here… Sora shivered at the thought.

After what seemed like hours, Dr. Kinsey, a tall blond-haired woman, finally came into the room. She wore a long white lab coat with her nametag around her neck. But she also wore bright blue pumps. "I'm sorry to keep you both waiting," she said, pumping a few squirts of Purrell into her hands. Her voice was kind and gentle. Riku and Sora were immediately relieved. She smiled at them both and sat down in her doctor's chair.

"It's okay. Thank you again for seeing me anyway," Sora finally replied.

"Well, hello, I'm Dr. Kinsey," she outstretched her arm for a handshake and Sora took it with some hesitation. "I've heard a lot about you and it's nice to finally meet you." She looked over at Riku who smiled and blushed slightly.

"I've…also h-heard a lot about you, doctor. Sorry, I'm a bit nervous," Sora admitted. Riku, feeling guilty, suddenly reached for Sora's hand and held it tightly.

"Well, that's okay. We will figure this out. What exactly seems to be troubling you?"

"Well a few weeks ago, I think four to be exact, I came down with a stomach flu or something and ever since then, it hasn't seemed to go away. The nausea will come and go. I'm incredibly sensitive around food now and don't eat much during the day," Sora started to feel embarrassed and heat rose to his face, for he had not told Riku about the extent of the symptoms yet. But, Riku's grip only got tighter.

Dr. Kinsey just nodded to Sora with a look of concentration on her face. Sora continued. "I get these really bad headaches sometimes too but those aren't very frequent. The worst physical symptom though has to be the insomnia." Dr. Kinsey pursed her lips together, writing down all the things Sora had been saying.

"And he's normally a heavy sleeper, Cadence," Riku piped up. He didn't want anything left out.

"Hmm, okay…anything else Sora?"

"Well, besides the, um, physical symptoms…I keep having incredibly quick but rather extreme mood swings."

"Mm, alright." Dr. Kinsey looked down at the papers she had been furiously writing on and went on thinking for what seemed like hours but had to only be a few seconds. Sora only looked down at his hands, one tapping restlessly against his thigh and the other tightly entangled in Riku's. Dr. Kinsey wrung the back of her neck and finally looked up at her patient. "I think…the best thing to do would be to perform a sonogram to see if there is anything unusual that we can see either in the stomach or the digestive tract somewhere."

Sora could only nod, so Riku spoke up, "Whatever you think is best, Cadence."

"Right, okay. I'll be right back." Dr. Kinsey left the room in a hurry, which only added to the couple's fear. Riku immediately stood and moved closer to Sora, who sighed and tilted his head to the ceiling.

"Oh Jesus" was all that Sora could say.

"Look, Sora, it'll be alright okay? There could be nothing."

"Or there could be something."

"Well, and if there is, then – well, we'll figure it out and get it taken care of. I won't ever leave you."

Sora looked over at Riku and saw the look of pure worry that was written all over his face. He felt a pang of guilt when he realized that Riku was out of his mind with worry, something that Sora would surely feel if the situation were switched. He took Riku's hand once again and kissed it. "I know you won't, Riku. I love you."

"Oh god, Sora, I love you too."

Dr. Kinsey opened the door and rolled in a rather large machine. "Alright, while I get this set up, I'll need you to change into this," she threw a gown at Sora as she positioned the machine where it needed to be. Sora clutched at the cloth and swung his legs over the side of the table. Riku moved to the chair. Sora pulled off his shirt and unzipped his jeans and let them fall from his thin waist. He unfolded the gown and draped it over his body, tying the small strands in the back. He was cold in just the gown, his boxers, and socks, but hopped up on the table anyway. Riku gathered his clothes and piled them on the other chair, but then got up and resumed his position as hand-holder. Sora laid back against the tilted table.

"Okay, Sora, we'll have to put some of the gel on your abdomen and it's going to be a bit cold. The sonogram will be able to tell me if there are any blockages or obtrusions. Okay?"

"Okay, doctor."

"Please, call me Cadence." With that she flipped the screen on which remained black as it warmed up. "If you could please lift the gown."

Sora did as he was told. He resisted the shivers that wanted to pulse through his body as he laid there with his torso uncovered. Cadence squirted a bit of the blue gel onto Sora's skin right above where his stomach would be, and she was right, it was cold. Sora couldn't resist a small shiver as it made contact and Riku began to rub his shoulder and chest to help. If the situation wasn't so tense and scary, Sora would find the irony in the situation, thinking back to Axel's words at the party…

"Okay, here we go," Cadence said touching the wand to Sora's stomach. The screen changed from black to a weird blurry grey. She had the sound switched off, which Sora was thankful for because the sound of his own fast heartbeat would only make things worse. She stared at the screen while she moved the wand back and forth over Sora's abdomen. Both Riku and Sora were intently staring at the screen, still as statues. After a few minutes, Cadence made a low "hmmm" noise and began to move the wand up towards Sora's heart and esophagus. The anticipation was beginning to get to Sora. He saw his heart pumping and moving on the screen but could hardly look at it for long because it started to make him feel sick too. After a few minutes of that, Cadence decided to go lower. She squirted a bit more gel onto Sora's skin right above his groin. She must be checking my intestines and such…

Still there was nothing until suddenly Cadence began to home in on one particular spot directly below Sora's bellybutton. She muttered another "hmm..." and Sora couldn't stand it anymore and began to clutch Riku's hand with as much force that he could.

"Wait—" came Cadence's voice. "Wha—what the hell?" She seemed to be whispering to herself as if Riku and Sora were no longer in the room. She wheeled the machine closer to her to look at it better. She twirled the wand around and around - again and again looking at the screen incredulously.

"Cadence?" Riku finally said.

"Huh – uh – oh yeah. Umm, just – a second." She flipped a switch on the machine and the sound was turned on. At first there was the steady "woosh woosh" of Sora's heart but then she pointed the wand at the spot again and they could all see something tiny moving on the screen, rapidly. After a few seconds they could all hear a second, incredibly fast "wooshwooshwooshwoosh." Sora heard Riku gulp as he seemed to be connecting the dots faster than the brunet.

"I-i-is that …a…-" Riku could hardly manage any coherent words and had a look of terror, worry, awe-struck, and confusion.

Dr. Kinsey stared back at her employee with the same weird look on her face. "Um…it appears that way..."

Sora, finally finding his voice, angrily blurted, "what way?!"

Cadence turned to Sora, looked back at the screen, and then to him once again and said, "Sora, I-I t-think you're …. pregnant."