Dot sat up as the knocking continued to grow louder. She kicked off the covers and begrudgingly got out of bed for the second time that morning. Was it really too much to ask for a little peace and quiet? Sometimes she would be able to sleep in to her heart's content, but other mornings Foghorn would forget to close his door after his routine trip to the fridge at 4:00 AM and his snores would wake her up, or Yakko would start singing in his sleep again.
Dot was ready to scream when he was unknowingly belting a very loud rendition of the Macarena from across the hall last week. After ten minuets of trying to stuff pillows in her ears, she heard a thump and a groan come from her brothers' room and figured that Wakko had either malleted or pied him, because the house suddenly became very quiet. The latter was later confirmed when Yakko trudged downstairs that morning smelling oddly of lemon meringue.
Her curiosity pulled her to the window, and just as she was about to peer outside, a clang rang out down the hall and snapped her attention away from the noise. She hurried to the door and pulled it opened. A yelp escaped her lips when she collided into a black mass in the hallway and fell onto the beige rug outside her doorway. With her heart racing, Dot let out a sigh of relief when she looked up and saw her brothers standing over her.
"Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you." Wakko said and pulled her up from the ground.
"Don't worry about it," Dot said as another clang erupted. "What's that noise?"
"Do you think it's Daffy's sleepwalking again?" Yakko smirked.
"I wouldn't place your bets just yet, Yakko." Daffy said as he came out of his room with Bugs and Foghorn following suit moments later.
"Then what's that-"
"Quiet for a sec, Dot." Bugs put up a finger and twisted his long ears in the opposite direction. They twitched when a hollow creak echoed off of the pale walls.
"It's probably just the house settling. We should all go back to bed, mmh?" Daffy yawned loudly and stretched his arms over his head.
Dot brushed off the noises that still poked at the back of her mind and longed to go back to her room. She found no sense in losing anymore sleep over the knocking, which seemed to have stopped at this point. Bugs had told them that the mansion was built back in the '20s, so she figured odd noises were not uncommon to hear in old homes. However, her heart clenched when a loud creak shattered the silence that had briefly settled over the house.
"Um, do houses usually do that when they settle?" Wakko gulped.
"I don't know... I'm sure Bugs just forgot to close a window or something last night and the wind is blowing in. Wind always makes weird noises." Daffy said nervously.
"It's probably the pipes again. I had three main ones burst last year and they haven't been the same since. They make weird noises all the time." Bugs said.
"Then why was I hearing noises outside earlier?" Dot asked.
"The pool system acts up and sounds weird every now and then, even though it's off. The plumber from Toontown I hired did a lousy job fixing that and the pipes, and the toon after that didn't do any better. You would think I could find someone capable of doing a simple pipe job for the money I'm paying."
"Did you try a human or someone from around here?" Yakko asked.
"Nah, I like to hire toons to do stuff like that. Gives them more chances to get business outside of Toontown." Bugs answered. Another bang echoed down the hall and Daffy latched himself to Foghorn.
"You just keep still there, boy." Foghorn shook his head and peeled Daffy's arms off of his torso. "Bugs is probably right. But don't you- I say- don't you go worrying yourself. Us big boys will go find out what's the matter with this old house." he gestured to Bugs and ignored the scowl Daffy directed at him.
"I'm a big boy, too..." Daffy muttered under his breath.
"You keep thinking that, Daf. Everybody needs a dream." Bugs lazily retorted as he walked down the hall with Foghorn.
"You know, I'm gonna give that bunny a piece of my mind someday-" Daffy said, but was cut off by another bang. "Let's go see what they're up to, shall we?" he said with a puddle of spittle landing on Wakko's hat.
"Aw come on, I just washed this!" Wakko muttered.
"You mean I just washed this." Yakko said and tapped the hat, smirking when Wakko rolled his eyes before following Daffy. "Come on, I'm curious to see what all this fuss is about." he said to Dot and took her hand.
They caught up to Daffy and Wakko and followed them through one of the many doors that lined the long walls. Dot was surprised to find themselves in a narrower hallway with several doors littered between two small windows. She saw Bugs and Foghorn and watched as they took down a large metal panel on the wall, revealing a labyrinth of pipes.
"Did you know this was here?" she asked Wakko and Yakko. They both shook their heads.
"No, though I'm not that surprised. This house is too impressively big to not have secret passageways." Yakko said as he gazed around at the pale peach wallpaper.
"I wouldn't really consider this a 'secret passageway,' kid," started Daffy. "Though, there is one on the first floor that takes you to the-"
"Daffy, they're called 'secret' for a reason. Let's keep it that way," Bugs called out as he tinkered with one of the many pipes in the wall. "You guys can go back to bed if you want. Watching us ducktape pipes and whatnot wouldn't be much fun."
"Alright, good luck." Daffy smiled and turned around.
"Not so fast, duck. You wanna be a big boy, you have to play like one." Foghorn said, tossing him a wrench from his hammerspace.
"Why do you have this in there?" Daffy asked as he stared down at the tool in his hand.
"Every man carries a good set of tools with him at all times. But you obviously wouldn't understand that." Foghorn chuckled.
"You're a riot, you know that?" Daffy glared and marched towards them, gripping the wrench tightly. "A real riot."
"Of course he knows that. See how big his head's getting?" Bugs nodded towards Foghorn. "But, like I said before, you kids can go back to your rooms if you'd like."
"I think we'll take you up on that offer," Yakko let out a loud yawn and stretched his arms above his head. "See you at a more tolerable hour." he waved and headed back towards the door.
Dot groggily followed them back and hopped back in bed with a satisfied sigh. Pulling the bedding back over her, she furrowed her head into the pillow and pulled Muffin against her. She really needed to ask Bugs where he got these sheets, since the ones at the water tower felt like a burlap sack compared to the silky smooth satin she was currently laying on.
Just as she was about to fall back asleep, the wide ray of sunlight pouring in from her window shifted just perfectly enough so that it landed across her closed eyes. The soft darkness that clouded her vision suddenly turned a violently bright shade of pink, and she found herself opening her eyes yet again. She looked across the room to the window through squinted eyes and put a hand in front of her face to block out the light. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw a large, gray toon rat staring at her through the glass.
She bit down on her tongue as hard as she could to keep a shrill scream from escaping her lips and shot up out of bed. Not taking a second glance at the over-sized rat in the window, Dot sprinted out of her room and pounded on her brothers' door. Wakko threw it open with Yakko standing next to him, and both wore equally surprised expressions. She spared no time in grabbing them by their sleeves and dragging them down the hall.
"What happened?" Yakko asked, confused and concerned. The sound of glass shattering echoed off of the walls and she picked up speed.
"A giant rat was in my window!" she called out. Wakko dug his heels into the floor and forced them to stop.
"What? You got mean you got me out of bed for some stupid mouse?" he yelled.
"No, It was huge! Like bigger than you huge!" Dot panted. Looking past her brothers, she saw a large, dark streak shoot across the window.
"What's going on?" Foghorn boomed as he, Daffy, and Bugs rushed into the hall.
"Look!" Dot croaked and pointed at the window.
A scruffy, hunched over form was peering in through the glass. The rat's crooked teeth jetted out from his unpleasant smirk and his cold stare sent a shiver down her spin. He twisted his grin even further across his hollow cheeks and dragged his grimy nails down the pane of glass.
"We need to go." Bugs said barley above a whisper and grabbed Dot and Wakko by their forearms. He pulled them down the hall with the others trailing closely behind, and only looked back when the sound of smashing glass pierced the air as shouts rang out behind them. Dot looked over her shoulder and saw the rat jump through the window. To her horror, several more followed him in.
"Look at all the Looneys runnin'! Boss sure is missin' a show, alright." the rat laughed.
"Don't worry, he'll get to see it soon enough." another one other said with a low rumble in his voice.
Bugs picked up speed and turned into the hall strewn with tools and parts of pipes. It was obvious now that their seemingly thorough search for the source of the noise had been in vain. He let go of Dot and Wakko and slammed the door shut, pulled a hammer and pile of nails out of his hammerspace, and nailed the door shut so fast that he was no more than a gray blur for a solid five seconds.
"What are they doing here?" Dot asked. Yakko tugged her and Wakko against him when more voices came from outside.
"I'm not sure little lady, but I don't think- I say- I don't think they're here for a friendly visit." Foghorn said. For once, he looked as shaken as she felt. She jumped when several heavy thumps shook the door and a few of the door frame's nails clattered onto the ground.
"C'mon, we need to go," Bugs waved for them to follow him as the door started to give in. He skidded besides the last door on the wall and yanked it open. "Go up these stairs and pull open the bookcase on the left."
Dot padded her way to the top of the stairs as fast as she could and weaved her way through the rows of neatly stacked boxes. Foghorn all but tore the bookcase off of its hinges when he opened it and hurriedly pushed her, Yakko, and Wakko into the small space behind it.
She heard the door down the hall slam onto the floor with an incredible thud almost immediately after Bugs closed the door and sprinted towards them. As soon as he had crouched down next to Yakko and shut the bookcase, the rats' gruff voices grew louder and the floor protested under their heavy footsteps by moaning and wailing with each movement.
"It won't open."
"Well no shit, Fritz. It's locked."
"Step back. I got this."
Dot flinched at the sound of splitting wood. One cringe-worthy crack, then another. The door finally snapped with a hollow crunch and the pieces scattered on the floor.
"Nice one, Tango. Shorty didn't even flinch that time."
"Aw, shut it Mozes. When we get back I'm gonna-"
"Will you assholes shut up? I'm tryin' to listen."
"Sorry Tango."
"Ya, sorry Tango."
"You're a real couple of Girl Scouts... Spread out and look around for them. I could've sworn I saw someone go up here," she heard the rat move closer to them. "Come out, come out wherever you are, Looneys."
"And don't forget the kids, Tango. He wants them too."
"Oh don't worry, I remember."
Wakko shifted beside her and hugged his knees closer to him. Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness just enough that she could make out Yakko picking at his gloves and Daffy twiddling his thumbs in an uneven rhythm. She still couldn't see their faces, and frankly, she didn't want to. It might worry her more if she did.
"Come on out, Looneys. It's huntin' season, and I'm huntin' wabbits." one of the rats said through a deep chuckle as the sound of a box crashing to the ground. The tapping of footsteps came closer and cast a shadow onto the bookcase that slid in through the tiny gap between the door and the floor.
"See anything the boss might want?"
"What the hell would the boss want with a bunch of Bugs Bunny's old crap? I don't think this picture of an old broad would do him much good."
"Well, you never know. Some of it might be worth something. Hey Tango, do you know what Smokey's gonna do with them?"
"Yeah, he doesn't tell us shit."
"I don't know, ask him yourself."
"Remember what he did to Rocky? Mugsy hasn't been the same since. Just sits in his cell all day and moans and shit. It's almost sad to watch." One of them said excitedly. Dot jumped when another box fell over and sent what sounded like hundreds of beads rolling over the dusty floor.
"Nice going, Fritz. You just knocked over five boxes of crap."
"Why does he have all these costumes? Half of them look like they're for girls."
"Isn't he a cross dresser or something?"
"I thought that was just part of his act, but I can't say I'm surprised."
"It doesn't matter. We just need to find him. Circle the room and feel the walls. Maybe there's a door or somethin' they went out."
"But even if they did one of the boys outside would've caught them."
"Just do it, morons."
Daffy and Foghorn grabbed onto the bookcase's handle and Dot stayed as still as she could. The rats tapped on the wall across the room and slowly came towards them. Her breath hitched. One stopped in front of them and tugged on the side of the bookcase. Daffy and Foghorn pulled the handle to keep it closed, and Dot was so afraid that he'd figure out they were here that she was almost too scared to breathe. Yakko placed a hand on her shoulder as the bookcase continued to shake. After what felt like an hour, the rat finally moved on and Dot let out a long, quiet breath.
"There's nothin' here."
"Fine, they're probably downstairs by now anyway. But you dunderheads better find them, or Smokey will have my ass." their voices faded away as they shuffled down the stairs and went down the hall. Wakko went to stand up but Bugs tugged on his shirt and moved his finger in front of his lips. After they waited in an uncomfortable silence for several moments, Foghorn stood up and slowly pushed the bookcase open.
"Come on out, the rodents are gone. Though your attic sure did take a beating."
"I think you need to invest in a new exterminator..." Daffy groaned as he came out from behind the bookcase and stretched.
"Why didn't the alarms go off?" Bugs muttered and rubbed the back of his head.
"Didn't you tell Plotz that no one could get past your security system?" Yakko asked.
"Yeah, and until now no one has. There was that one time that Daffy got caught by it-"
"Ahem!"
"-and so did Plotz, but its never failed like this. I even update it every year."
"I wouldn't dwell on it. What's done is done. And besides, you heard them. They're working for Smokey and that guy doesn't quit- I say- doesn't quit till' he gets what he wants." Foghorn said.
"That's the concerning part." Wakko said quietly.
"It'll be alright, Wakko. I don't intend on becoming rabbit stew today," Bugs moved across the room and kneeled down. "We just need to get out of here."
"What are you doing?" Dot peered around him. He flipped over a faded rug and felt around on the floor. With a grunt, he pulled up several slabs of wood and revealed a dark passage way.
"Does this secret passage meet your standards, Yakko?" Bugs said with a smirk.
"It does indeed. Though all these hidden nooks and holes in the floor are oddly convenient." Yakko said.
"Well that's why I put them in. Us rabbits like to burrow, you know," Bugs bent down and unfolded the ladder that was bolted to the insulation covered wall and started to descend down it. "Come on, it's safe. Just hold on tight as you come down." he waved for them to follow.
"Be ready to chuck yourselves." Yakko whispered to Wakko and Dot. One by one they pulled themselves down the long ladder. The only way Dot got through it without having a panic attack was by telling herself she'd touch the ground after each step, since the overwhelming darkness made it impossible to tell how far the drop really was.
"Ouch! Wakko, watch it. My tail isn't a rung." Yakko whispered.
"Sorry. It's a little hard to tell right now." Wakko answered.
"Well last time I checked, ladders aren't fuzzy and don't move." Yakko said.
"Hush up boys. We're almost there." Foghorn said. Bugs reached the floor and groped the wall, trying to find a doorknob.
"Ah, here it is," Bugs said and peered through a crack in the door. "Alright, I think it's safe." he opened the door and pulled a lantern out of his hammerspace. They walked into a kitchen that was outfitted in grey cabinets and ancient looking appliances. Black and white linoleum was peeling off of the floor and a dusty wooden table and chairs sat in the corner next to a set of stairs that ended abruptly against a brown-stained ceiling.
"What is this place?" Wakko asked, looking up at a brass chandelier that was delicately frosted in cobwebs.
"The last owners used the basement as the servants' quarters and this was their kitchen, but I closed it off when I moved in. That thing we just came down through used to be a laundry chute."
"So you mean to tell us that you just brought us to a dead end under a house that's filled with rats who want to kill us?" Daffy yelled.
"Shh! Do really you think I'm that dumb, doc?" Bugs rolled his eyes and pushed the icebox away from the wall. He lifted a large wooden board away from the wall, and a long staircase appeared. Sunlight dripped in through the sides of the cellar door at the top.
"What in tarnation is this?" Foghorn asked with a raised eyebrow.
"I put it in after Bosk- eh, I put it in a while ago in case of emergencies. There's another one at the front of the house, too, but this one leads to the neighbor's yard." Bugs said.
"Well let's go then!" Daffy said impatiently.
"Hold on there, boy. Don't you think- I say- don't you think we should make up a plan or something? Once we get outside, those rodents will be on our trail tighter than a moth hugging a lantern."
"Then we'll go in two groups so we're less noticeable. I'll take the kids and you two can go together." Bugs said.
"But what if one group get's caught? I don't want to die!" Daffy cried and pulled on the tuft of feathers at the top of his head.
"Calm down, Daf! We'll be fine." Bugs said before turning back to Foghorn.
"Me and him will go first and tell you if it's all clear, so you wait here until we give you the signal." Foghorn said.
"That sounds great and all, but none of us are exactly telepathic." Yakko said.
"I set up that new phone- I say- new phone I got at the store last week, so I'll call you when we get down the street and we'll meet up there." Foghorn pulled a cell phone out of his hammerspace and turned it on. Bugs did the same.
"And what if that doesn't work?" Bugs asked as he turned the volume down to the lowest setting. Foghorn stared at him with a serious expression, his eyes losing the last trace of a twinkle that had managed to survive the morning's events.
"I hate to say it boy, but you're on your own."
"Oh, I don't like this... why do we have to go first?" Daffy whined from beside him.
"Daffy, it's us or the three of them. Who would you rather be at the most risk?" Foghorn gestured at Yakko, Wakko, and Dot. Daffy looked between them before meekly nodding his head.
"Alright... alright. Let's get going then." he said and straightened up. With one last nod, he and Foghorn moved up the staircase.
"Take care now, you hear." Foghorn said before disappearing in the darkness.
"You too." Bugs called back.
"Now what do we do?" Wakko asked.
"We wait, Wakko." Yakko sighed and sat down on one of the rickety chairs. He pulled Dot onto his lap and tapped the seat next to him for Wakko to sit down. All Dot could hear for a minute or two was her heart violently rapping against her rib cage and Yakko's shallow breaths moving against her back.
"Do you think they'll be alright?" she said quietly after not being able to stand the silence any longer.
"I'm sure they'll be fine, princess."
She shot her head around to where they entered the room and balled up a handful of her clothes with a sweaty fist. A giant, gray rat was standing across from them with a crooked grin and wild eyes. Dot recognized him as one of the rats she and Bugs ran into on the day of the earthquake. Yakko stood up and pulled Wakko against him and tightened his hold on her.
Bugs slowly moved away from the counter he was leaning against and stood next to them. His furrowed eyebrows pulled his features into a motionless stare and a firm line replaced the sarcastic smirk she was so used to seeing. It was like watching a deer- or a rabbit, in this case- anticipating every move of his hunter's pursuit.
"I wasn't expecting company today, Tango. Can't say I like having people over without cleaning first." Bugs said coolly.
"Don't worry rabbit, I'm not disappointed. This is a much nicer joint than what I'm used to. Though I must say that you've let this part go. Too bad," Tango said looking around at the kitchen with a greedy grin. "Maybe I'll fix it up when I move in- you know, after the owner's out of the picture."
"Don't count on it, doc." Bugs crossed his arms.
"Not that I'm interested in your life or what you do, but just out of curiosity, how did you find us?" Yakko asked. He had taken on Bugs's piercing but still seemingly nonchalant stare with a surprisingly striking resemblance to the rabbit.
"It wasn't hard. I told my boys to go search the rest of the house and I waited behind a pile of crap 'till you came out from behind that bookcase. You do have a lot of crap, rabbit. Then I followed you down that ladder and waited for those birds to scram. It really wasn't hard, though I appreciate the extensive fire drill system or whatever it is you've got goin' here. Remember to stop, drop, and roll next time, though, The fire marshal would've failed you on that." he laughed.
"You just hid behind a box and waited until we came out? Oh, how very original. Are you gonna tell us you're a Nazi now, too? Liesel is going to be very disappointed in you, Rolf." Yakko snorted.
"It worked, didn't it? Besides, I didn't have time to mess around, and still don't now. So why don't you little kiddies come with me and your daddy here and make this easier for all of us." Tango said and inched towards them. Bugs put his hands on Wakko and Yakko's shoulders and pulled them towards the icebox. Dot held on tightly to Yakko.
"It's been fun playing hide-and-seek and all, but I think it's time to call it quits. I can hear your mother calling you in for dinner." Bugs slowly let go of Wakko and put a hand behind his back. "Here, make sure you take your ball back with you!"
Bugs threw a handful of bombs at the rat and scooped up Dot and her brothers before taking off up the stairs in the fastest toonsprint she's ever seen. He pushed through the door at the top and put them down, grabbed an extensive assortment of explosives and anvils from his hammerspace with a grunt, and took off, weaving through yards and driveways with the Warners holding on tightly to him without a moment to lose.
"Do you see anyone following us?" he shouted over the vortex of wind pounding against their bodies.
"No, I don't think- wait, I think I see that Tango creep and some of those other rats!" Wakko yelled back.
"Wonderful. Hold on!" Bugs called out and, to Dot's amazement, started going even faster. They continued to move through blocks of homes, yet Bugs was still unable to shake off the rats.
"How are we doing?" Bugs panted.
"Not so great. They're so close that I'm starting to feel claustrophobic." Yakko replied.
"You kids are gonna have to throw them off. I don't care what you do, just do it now!" Bugs yelled. Dot yanked her arms free from Yakko's grip and pulled a pie out from behind her back.
"Guys, chuck a pie!"
"What?" Wakko said.
"A pie, Wak! Throw as many pies as you can at them! It works, I swear!" she launched the pie at the rat closest to them and smirked when it him square in the face and knocked him down. "See?"
"Huh, okay then." Yakko chucked one of his own pies, a banana creme by the looks of it, and threw it. It landed on a patch of grass and one of the rats slid through it in a spectacular motion, finally falling flat on his back with his limbs flailing. Wakko did the same, and his knocked a rat's legs out from under him. One by one they shot the rats down, but no matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get Tango.
"Wait, don't throw anymore!" Wakko called out.
"What? How are we suppose to get him then?" Yakko said.
"If we time it just right and throw them all at once, we could get him." Wakko replied. She and Yakko nodded and chucked two extra creamy pies.
"Pies at the ready, sir!" Yakko yelled.
"Alright. One... two... three!" They shot the pies at Tango with all their might and each one landed perfectly on his face, their force knocking him to the ground.
"Got him!" Wakko grinned.
"Alright- good," Bugs huffed. "We'll go a few more blocks- then I have to stop."
They turned onto one street, then the next. Dot was relieved to see that there were no rats in sight. She would be happy if she never heard the word "rat" again after this experience, and now she was definitely turned off from wanting to have any type of rodent as a pet. After speeding past a row of shops, Bugs pulled into an alleyway and collapsed onto the pavement in a heaving mess.
"Are you alright? Wakko asked when they leaned down over him.
"Yeah- just have to- catch my breath. Not as young- as I used to- be." he huffed. Yakko took a water bottle out of his hammerspace and handed it to the sweaty rabbit.
"Here. I was saving this for later, but you look like you could really use it."
"You're a real saint, doc. Thanks," Bugs sat up and drank the cool water with a single gulp. He looked around the alley and sighed. "It looks like we're back where we started, huh?"
"Yeah. Though I hope Foghorn and Daffy are alright. I didn't see them when we were running." Dot said.
"I'll call them and- wait, dammit! I dropped my phone somewhere back there." Bugs ran a hand over his tired face.
"Do you think they got them?" Wakko said softly.
"I sure hope not. Their bickering was really starting to grow on me." Yakko said with a small, unconvincing laugh.
"I'm sure we'll hear from them soon. But in the meantime, let's just stay positive and try not to attract any attention to ourselves, hmm?" Bugs said.
"Alright, but do you suppose they're gonna find us? If they got past your security system so easily then tracking us down to an alley is probably a piece of cake for the them." Dot sighed.
"Like I said, let's try to stay positive. Everything will probably turn out fine," Bugs scratched his chin in thought. "Though I still can't figure out how they broke in."
"I can't either. You seemed to have really thought out your security system. I'm surprised you didn't have your own emergency alert test blaring on the TV every ten minutes," Yakko said. "Speaking of which, what's up with all the hidden passageways and stuff?"
"I'm a big star and that makes my a big target. That and I guess I became pretty paranoid after Bosko and I had our little run in."
"Was it really that bad?" Dot said.
"Yeah... I could barely sleep for months. It really got to me." Bugs said and scratched the back of his neck.
"What did he do that was so terrible?"
"Wakko-" Yakko scolded.
"No it's fine. I'd rather you hear the right version from me than some twisted version from a tabloid bringing it back up during a slow 'news' week," Bugs said and cleared his throat. "Do you want the short version or the long one?"
"Whichever's more accurate." Wakko said. Bugs nodded and took a deep breath.
"Alright. You see, it started back when I was first signed with Warner Brothers..."
