"I'm definitely joining a gym after all of this is over." Daffy huffed and collapsed at the top of a hill.
"You've been saying that since the day I met you and- I say- and I haven't ever seen you even look at one, let alone go in." Foghorn shook his head.
"Yeah, well I mean it this time. Just look at these calves!" he pouted and lifted up a scrawny leg. Groaning, he flopped it back down. "I'm too weak to go on."
"For someone with such a big head, your inferiority complex could definitely use some help." Yakko shook his head.
"I happen to be quiet humble and reserved, thank you very much." Daffy glared.
"Really? Look who's blubbering on the ground, and look who had to walk eight miles on crutches... C'mon, we've gotta keep going." Heather kicked him with her crutch and hobbled up to the top of the hill.
"But-" Daffy started.
"Boy, quit moving that mouth of yours and get up. We don't got all day." Foghorn pulled him up by the scruff of his neck and pushed him forward.
"Are we close?" Wakko wiped a hand across his sweaty forehead.
"Yeah, there's a sewer on the other side of this hill that leads to the old entrance," Heather said. "No one uses it anymore, so you should be fine getting in. Though hurry up. You want to be in there before the sun rises and it gets light out."
"What do you mean 'sewer?'" Daffy raised an eyebrow.
"You'll see. I don't want to ruin the surprise." Heather smirked and click-clacked up to the top of the hill with her crutches.
"We're not going to survive this, are we?" Daffy gulped.
"I'm sure we'll be fine. A little stench never killed anyone." Foghorn said.
"Well then you've never shared a hotel room with Taz after a 2 a.m. Taco Bell run." Daffy muttered. Foghorn chuckled and clapped him on the back.
They reached the top of the hill and Yakko, feeling winded from the long walk and sick of the exhaustion that had pulled at him for the last week, leaned against his knees. He looked over at Wakko and saw that he didn't look much better.
"How you holding up, sib?" Yakko asked and stood up straight.
"Barely." he said between breaths.
"Here, have some water," Yakko pulled out a bottle from his hammerspace and handed it to his brother. Wakko took it and gulped down the little liquid left at the bottom of it. "Better?"
"Tons." Wakko crunched up the bottle and shoved it into his sweatshirt pocket.
"Hurry up, it's right around the corner." Heather called out from ahead of them.
Yakko took a deep breath and trudged after her. They walked up the hill and crept towards a large brick building. Heather pointed one of her crutches to a smelly trash bag next to it and hobbled over to it.
"It's there." she said.
"In the trash?" Daffy scratched his head.
"No, under the sewer cover next to it..." Heather raised an eyebrow. Yakko pushed Wakko toward her and stepped around the rusted plate. Heather crouched down, with her lips pursed tightly, and wobbled as she felt around the edge of the sewer cover.
"There's a place to pull this up somewhere- got it." she slowly stood up and Foghorn leaned down and yanked the crusty metal away from the ground with a grunt. He peered into the dark hole and plugged his nostrils when the putrid stench of sewer rose into the air.
"Egh, maybe you were right, Daffy. That's a mighty foul stank, that is," the rooster coughed. He took a deep breath through his mouth and turned to Yakko and Wakko. "Now you boys stay up here, alright? I doubt anyone is gonna see you- I say- see you from the street so long as you're quiet."
"Are you sure we can't come?" Wakko pleaded, putting on a puppy dog face so convincing that even Dot would be impressed by it.
"Boy, put that pout away. You know we can't let you go down there." Foghorn said.
"But you said maybe-" Yakko started before Daffy interrupted.
"No, we're not budging on this," he stared at them firmly, but his resolved look began to fade as Yakko and Wakko drooped their ears and pouted at the ground. "Look boys, we just want you to be safe."
"We understand..." Wakko sighed. Daffy scratched the back of his neck and rolled his shoulders as a cool wind blew over them.
"Thank you for the help, miss." Foghorn said.
"No problem. Anything I can do to help fix this shit is my pleasure." Heather said, adding a light snort. Yakko began to fiddle with the tissues and lint in his pocket once Foghorn turned around and cocked an eyebrow at him and Wakko.
"So you'll stay here? Promise?"
"Promise." Yakko said, debating if crossing his fingers behind his back would be overkill. Daffy nodded his head.
"Good. You should be safe behind that bar next door. It doesn't look like anyone's been back there for years." he pointed at the dumpster behind the rusty chain fence next to them before hesitantly looking over at Foghorn. "You ready?" he asked. Foghorn slowly nodded and knelled down.
"Now you boys stay out of trouble and take care of yourselves."
"We will. Good luck." Wakko said.
With the help of a few hard pushes from Daffy, Foghorn lowered himself into the sewer drain and dropped down with a splash. Daffy gulped nervously and stole one last look at the Warners before he too disappeared into the darkness.
Yakko stared down at the almost luminescent water, or whatever liquid that was sloshing against Daffy and Foghorn off in the distance, and shoved his hands into his pockets. He heard Heather's crutches clink against each other as she shifted her weight next to him
"So, now what are you two gonna do?" Heather said.
"Hmm? What do you mean? We're going to stay here like they told us to." Yakko said and wiped a sweaty palm on his pants, forgetting that he was wearing gloves.
"Do you really think I'd believe that for a second?" Heather chuckled.
"A guy can dream." Yakko shrugged.
"I don't know what's going through your mind right now, but I have a feeling that you should ignore whatever it is." Heather said.
"You've gotta have some faith in us. We've survived this long, haven't we?" Yakko smirked.
"Barely." she snorted.
"Look, we've thought this through and I have a feeling that everything is going to be OK." Wakko added.
"Do you at least have a plan?" Heather asked.
"Ehhh... we're working on one." Yakko responded. Heather sighed
"I don't think I should let you go through with this, but I'm sure you little buggers are gonna find a way to get in there anyway."
"You're right about that." Wakko said.
"I just- ah shit, I think I hear someone coming," Heather said frantically as several voices echoed towards them.
Yakko thought he heard one of them say something about Smokey, but he was too busy being pushed through a small hole in the corner of the fence by Heather to really notice. She leaned against the wall and waited for the toons to pass before speaking up.
"I've gotta get out of here before someone notices me, so you two stay here and be quiet. Well, at least try to. Good luck, and please don't do anything stupid." she smiled at them before taking off at an impressive speed for someone on crutches and disappearing down the street.
"Do you think she'll be OK?" Wakko said.
"Probably. She hasn't gotten caught yet." Yakko said.
"Good point." Wakko responded. They listened as the voices faded off into the distance. "Now what do we do?"
"I think we should go see for ourselves what that sewer looks like. Heather said that you don't have to go very far to find the entrance, so we shouldn't run into Foghorn and Daffy if we wait another minute or two."
"I like that." Wakko grinned. "The sooner we get in there, the sooner things can get back to normal."
"Yeah... I wanted to talk to you about that, actually." Yakko picked at his glove.
"What's up?" Wakko said hesitantly.
"What we do down there might not work, so if I tell you to run, hide, or do whatever, please just do it without any hesitation."
"But I'm not gonna leave you or anything-" Wakko defended.
"If I tell you to do something, even if you don't like it, I really need you to do it without any argument. Please?" Yakko sighed. "I can't lose both of my sibs."
"Alright- alright. I promise." Wakko said softly. Yakko squeezed his shoulder before standing up.
"Thanks, Wak. Now c'mon, we don't have all day."
Yakko led Wakko to the sewer cover and knelled down beside it. After the trail of obscene phrases and loud splashes coming from Daffy and Foghorn died down, he moved his head down and listened closer for anymore noise coming from below, and was confident that it was empty after hearing nothing but silence for several long moments.
He sat down and stared down into the dark, murky water below. Never a big fan of the dark to begin with, he pulled a small flashlight he had gotten from Bugs's house and flicked it on.
He motioned for Wakko to stay still and hopped down into the sewer with a splash. Flashing the dim light across the slimy walls, Yakko took another look around him before waving at his brother to join him.
"Ugh, this place reeks." Wakko gagged and pinned his nose with his fingers.
"What did you expect? New car smell?" Yakko cocked an eyebrow.
"Ha ha. Let's get out of here before I hurl up my dinner." Wakko shuddered and started walking. Yakko shook his head and followed him, inwardly agreeing that the smell was sickening.
Yakko slowly moved the light across the sewer and kept a sharp eye out for anything that could pass for an entrance. The stone walls were covered in a thick layer of grime that glistened when the light hit it, and the already dirty water seemed to become more opaque with each movement they made through it. Yakko shuddered. This place was the definition of creepy.
"Yakko, it's a rat!" Wakko cried out suddenly. Yakko grabbed his brother and pulled his mallet out of his hammerspace, ready to pound any attacker twenty feet into the ground. His heart raced rapidly as he frantically scanned the sewer for any activity.
"Where?" he called out.
"Over there- he's going into the wall!"
Yakko shone the light on what Wakko was pointing at and let out a shaky sigh of relief. A rodent no bigger than Pinky or Brain whimpered when the light hit its beady eyes, and it pushed itself between two bricks after a brief moment of shock.
"Geez, Wak. You need to pay more attention to your word choice." Yakko wiped a shaky hand against his wet brow.
"Sorry, he just freaked me out."
"Yeah, I figured," Yakko said as he placed his mallet back into his hammerspace. "C'mon, I want to get out of here."
They trekked through the sewer at a quick but cautious pace. Yakko kept a firm grip on the flashlight and his other hand at the ready to pull out his mallet. The water was becoming more clear with every few yards, and the smell was less gag-inducing than when they first entered the sewer. He flashed the light ahead of them and felt the knot in his chest twist tighter when a rusted door sat slightly ajar at the end of the tunnel.
"I guess this is our stop." he said and pushed Wakko up onto the concrete platform in front of the door. He joined his brother and peered through the door. A single flickering light bulb cast a faint glow across the stark moldy walls, and a rickety staircase stood at the end of the seemingly abandoned hallway. Seeing no cameras, Yakko motioned for Wakko to follow him.
"Hold on a sec." Wakko said. Yakko turned around and cocked an eyebrow at his brother, who was pulling up a pair of clean pants from his hammerspace.
"What are you doing?"
"I don't want this stink to give us away," Wakko said, pointing at his brown, soggy jeans. He tossed another pair of jeans at Yakko. "Those might be a little big, but they were the only other ones I could find at Heather's. Though I don't know why she had so many guys' jeans at her house..."
"Good thinking, Wak." Yakko said, ignoring the last part of what Wakko said. Once they had thrown their old clothes into the sewer water, Yakko led Wakko down the hallway and slowly padded up the staircase.
"Remember what I said. Stay quiet and do what I tell you." he whispered. Wakko nodded his head and they crept to the top of the stairs.
"Now what do we do?" Wakko asked as they stood in front of another door. Yakko pressed his ear against it and put a finger over his lips when he heard faint voices on the other side.
"Are you sure he wanted them moved to that cell? Sure seems big for such little toons."
"Nah, it'll fill up once we catch the other four dwarfs. Maybe if we're lucky we'll find their dame, too,"
"Like Smokey would want her on that block. He's been taking the chicks to the third floor. Well, 'cept that Warner girl."
"Do you think- ah, crap! I spilled some of this shit."
"Did it get on you?"
"Nah, just on the floor."
"Here, give it to me. Smokey will kill you if that doesn't get to the lab in one piece."
Yakko listened as they moved down the hallway and waited for a minute of silence to pass before cracking open the door and peering through it.
"Dot's here!" he whispered to Wakko with a grin.
"Where?"
"Somewhere upstairs. I say we keep going up and play it by year. Stay close." Yakko pushed through the door with Wakko close behind and moved against the wall. Hearing nothing when they stopped at a corner, Yakko poked his head out and moved down the hallway.
"Where are the stairs?" Wakko whispered in his ear faintly.
"I think it's-" Yakko stopped and cringed when he heard a clatter behind him. "What was that?" he said louder than he meant to.
"Sorry, my water bottle fell out of my pocket." Wakko hurriedly picked it up and shoved it into his hammerspace.
"It's OK, just keep moving and be- wait... move!" he pushed Wakko forward when he heard a set of footsteps coming towards them.
"Hello? Who is there?" a voice called. Yakko started running even faster. His eyes shot from door to door, not knowing which one was the safest option to hide behind.
"Do you see the stairs? Where the hell is it?" Wakko panicked next to Yakko.
"I can show you, but may I ask what you two are doing down here?"
Yakko turned around and stared at an old, shaky duck with unruly puffs of hair sticking up off of his head. Several feathers sat loose against his saggy frame, and his eyes were looking everywhere except at Yakko and Wakko in front of him. He took off the grimy glasses sitting on his beak with an unsteady hand and wiped them off with a dirty rag from his pocket, making the glass even more streaked than before.
"There, that's better. I couldn't see at all for a moment there," he grinned. "Now where was I?"
"Ahh-" Wakko stammered before the duck put up a hand.
"Oh yes, that's right. You were asking about my new altimeter, correct?"
"Ehh... no." Yakko said.
"Was it my new inclinometer?"
"Wrong again." Yakko raised an eyebrow. "Are you-"
"Wait, shhh- yes, I remember. You must be the ones bringing me the defunct ink, yes?"
"Sure- I mean, yes. Yes we are." Wakko coughed and shrugged at the nervous look Yakko gave him.
"Ah, good. I was afraid they would send that big one again. He's no fun, you know. Never laughs at my jokes. Not even the one about the lawyer in the loo."
"That's too bad." Yakko said in halfhearted attempt to sound sympathetic.
"Yes, it really is. I work hard on them, you know? Like my mother always said, 'a joke a day keeps the doctor away!'" he laughed. "Now please follow me- ah, what were your names again?"
"Takko." Wakko said quickly. Yakko shook his head. Of all the fake names his brother could have picked, that had to be among the worst. "Takko" was just plain tacky.
"David." Yakko rolled his eyes.
"It's a pleasure to meet you. I am Professor Ludwig Von Drake, or Professor Ludwig Von Drake, for short," he laughed. "Please follow me."
"What do we do?" Wakko tugged on Yakko's sleeve.
"Just play along, 'Takko.'" Yakko muttered.
"Fine, 'David.' You could have been a little more creative with the name, you know." Wakko muttered to him.
"And you could be a little less obvious, but that ship's already sailed," Yakko whispered through a false smile. "C'mon."
They followed Von Drake to a door with several tarnished locks adorning it. He creaked it open and gestured for them to go in, and stuck a tiny pin into the locks once he had closed the door.
"Don't tell anyone I was out," he said as the pin clicked the locks back into place. "I know it looks suspicions, but I was only out for a walk to get some fresh air. Staying cooped up with these fumes all the time can really make a toon go mad, you know."
"I wouldn't deny it." Wakko scoffed.
Von Drake walked over to a table overflowing with test tubes and bubbling liquids that were all connected to a large metal pot on the floor next to it. He picked up an armful of empty cylinders and hobbled towards a sink that was already crammed with unwashed equipment. He put them in the sink and turned on the facet. A burst of water splashed off of the glassware and soaked him, making him yelp and jump backwards into a metal table.
"Ah!" he yelped and pulled a stained towel off of the counter. "Can you put the ink on the table there while I clean myself up?"
"Put the water bottle on it, Wak." Yakko nudged his brother quietly, hoping the duck wouldn't be able to tell the difference.
"Don't you think he'll notice?" Wakko said. Yakko pointed to Von Drake as he combed down his hair with the toothbrush that had been sitting next to a tray of silverware on the counter. "Never mind."
Von Drake took the towel and scrubbed his glasses with the damp cloth. The brown film that had previously covered them was gone. He patted down his hair, making it puff up even larger than before, and turned around. He gasped when he got the first real good look at them since they met in the hallway.
"Wait- you two are only children! Children? Oh this is very, very peculiar. Smokey doesn't like children, so what would he have them here for?" he scratched his head. "But you do look familiar..."
"We do?" Yakko squeaked nervously.
"Yes. Do you know that Sylvester? That cat with the bird? Because your noses are very similar." he pondered.
"Our noses? What do you mean our noses? His is way bigger than our's!" Wakko defended.
"Okay, okay, forget what I said about the noses- but you still look familiar." he insisted. "Kinda like that girl up there, too." he meekly waved the toothbrush towards a cork board behind them. Yakko turned around and found himself staring at one of the head shots the studio had taken of his baby sister with a red circle around it.
"Why do you have a picture of Dot? And is that Bugs?" Wakko said, getting closer to the board. Dozens of pictures of toons surrounded them. Some were crossed out with an x, while others were circled like Dot's or left blank entirely.
"That is not mine. That is Smokey's and Gonzo's. And how do you know that girl?" Von Drake asked. "Is she a friend of yours?"
"We're related." Yakko ripped the photo off of the wall and held it in between him and Wakko.
"Hmm, I guess you do have the same nose... but other than that I never would have guessed." Von Drake squinted as he peered over their shoulders, scratching his head with the toothbrush he'd picked up from the table.
"But you just said that she looked like us-" Yakko started.
"Do you know if she's okay?" Wakko interrupted.
"I don't know. I've been stuck down here for months now, all alone for most of the time. I hardly ever get to leave, especially after they locked me back up. You would think that I'd get a second chance after only escaping once, yes?" Von Drake threw his hands up in frustration. "It is not like I want to be here. And I have done a very good job for a duck that does not want to be here!"
"Why are you here then?" Yakko asked.
"You're not going to tell Smokey or anyone about this, will you?" he stabbed Yakko in the chest with the toothbrush.
"Who are we gonna tell? We're trying to avoid these toons as much as possible." Yakko exclaimed.
"Very well then," the duck sighed. "They needed someone to make the ink they use to permanently sedate toons. Smokey said that Gonzo kept messing up the formula, and he- like most people- knew I was a renowned scientist, of course. I don't agree with what he's doing at all, but I don't have a choice."
"Why?" Wakko asked.
"They threatened my family," he sighed. "Smokey said he would ink my nephews- my only family left who aren't insane- if I didn't help him. Can you imagine having an entirely crazy family? The boys are the only ones who keep me sane. Though I promised myself that when I lose it I'd-"
"Wait, so how'd you escape?" Yakko continued.
"The same way you came in. Not only am I genius, but I also have the most powerful snifter of all the Von Drakes!" he boasted and started to stir several liquids in a beaker. "I could smell that sewer stench a mile away. But I'm sad to say it won't help you to get to the fourth floor."
"Why would we need to get there?" Wakko said.
"Well that is where that toon is- the one we were just talking about-"
"You mean our sister?" Wakko said.
"The one with that cat's nose, yes," Von Drake said, staring at them through a tube of pink liquid. "You do want to find her, don't you?"
"Yeah, but why didn't you tell us that a second ago?" Wakko said, becoming more frustrated with the duck.
"You didn't ask where she was, just if she was OK." Von Drake mixed two beakers together before pouring them down a tube.
"Where'd you hear that she was there?" Yakko asked, cautious to believe anything he said without a convincing explanation.
"Some of the rats who were down here this morning to get more ink were talking about it, I think."
"You think?" Wakko lifted an eyebrow.
"Well, it was either that or there's a new vending machine there. I can't really remember." he shrugged.
"It's the only lead we've got, so we might as well look into it." Yakko said to his brother.
"I guess. And at least we'll get some snacks out of it if he's wrong," Wakko smirked. "Let's go check it out. I don't want to waste anymore time."
"Agreed, sib. Thanks for the help." Yakko said and turned towards the door.
"Let me know how it all works out! Good luck!" Von Drake waved and bumped his hand into a pot. He quickly caught it and went back to studying the bubbles that were slowly rising to the surface of a beaker. Yakko shook his head and opened the door, slowly leading his brother back into the hallway.
