Chapter 12: Wins and Losses

Lenne's little brother walked around the deck of the houseboat and looked over the rail to gaze with fascination into the water's dark depths. Shuyin still didn't understand the fascination other people had with his home, but he supposed he never would. In fact, it looked somewhat antiquated to him. Still, if it gave the kid a thrill to visit a boat for a change of pace, he was happy to be part of that.

It wasn't long before Bahamut found the fishing pole near the door and fingered the reel with curiosity.

"You can use it if you want," Shuyin offered.

"I don't know how."

"I can show you. Got some bait right there in the cooler."

"Now? At night?"

"Sure. Fish get midnight munchies, too, you know." Shuyin moved away from the central mast where he had been standing with Lenne and picked up the bait bucket, placing it and a small folding stool near the rail. Then, he opened the chest to show off his selection of bait and tackle. "Got topwater, minnow, crankbait, spinnerbait, worm ... Let's try a worm."

Bahamut scrunched his nose in doubt. "What kind of fish would fall for this? The boat's presence here would be a sure sign of danger. And this isn't their natural food supply. If they do come out at night, which seems unlikely, the pier would be a safer place for fish to search for bugs that break the water's surface tension."

Shuyin's lips pressed together in a thin line. "Stop analyzing it and bait the hook." He flashed Lenne a glance as if to agree with her earlier statements about the boy being too serious for his own good.

Chuckling, Lenne came closer to see what they were doing. "Ew, slimy." She winced as Shuyin plopped the worm into Bahamut's hands.

"It tickles," Bahamut told his big sister. "You want to hold it?"

"Ah, well, actually ..." Before she could politely decline, the worm landed in her palm. Lenne squinted, expecting … Well, she didn't seem to know what she was expecting. Lifting her other hand, she carefully cupped the creature to prevent it from falling. "It feels … fragile."

"Woah, a girl who can hold a worm without creeping out. You are special," Shuyin jokingly commented.

"I passed the worm test, did I? Is that something I should be proud of?"

"Well, when you work with dead people, a worm is nothing, right?"

Lenne grinned. "Living on the water … Camping in the snow ..." She carefully deposited the worm back into her brother's hand. "Most Zanarkand residents don't get opportunities for adventures like that. Do you ever wish you could take the boat to more open spaces and leave the city?"

Shuyin turned his attention back to the bait and showed a very reluctant Bahamut how to thread the worm onto the hook. "Maybe if I weren't afraid of the bottom rusting out in the middle of the ocean." He shook his head. "Nah, I can't leave. Zanarkand is the only home I've ever known. I may not be a guardian or a summoner, but I would arm myself to the teeth to defend it if anything were to happen to it … you know?"

She smiled. "I feel the same way." Removing her hat, she let her hair fall down her shoulders and back, enjoying being free of the simple disguise for a short while.

"Actually, I've been thinking about what you said earlier … about being a guardian and all. Would I have to leave blitzball to train for that?"

"Depends on whether you're training for an official or voluntary position. Are you seriously considering it?"

He shrugged indecisively. "I just remembered one of the guys on the team trains using a method that combines blitzball skills with martial arts. I might ask him about it at our next practice."

Lenne was somewhat skeptical. "But you're doing it because you want to, not because of anything I said, right? Because if your heart isn't in it ..."

"Well, I'd be lying if I said your input didn't influence me, but you didn't talk me into doing something I have no interest in. My teammate says martial arts improved his game, so I was going to ask about it anyway at some point. If you hadn't said anything, I'd still consider cross-training for my game. And, now that you've mentioned it, I do remember seeing the news about the Founders considering magical restrictions for Zanarkand. I just didn't realize it was such a big deal. Maybe I should learn to defend something other than a ball." With the lure ready, Shuyin flashed her a perfunctory smile, then took the rod and the boy to the side of the boat close to the pier.

"Okay, your tackle is ready," he told him. "Usually, on the surf or out in the middle of the water, you have to flick the line and cast it out away from you. But I'm going to let you in on a secret about fishing around these docks. When the weather is hot like this, the fish like to come up at night and hide under the pier."

"I was right?"

"Often, you can drop the line straight down." He demonstrated first. Then, he reeled the line back in and helped the boy hold the rod to do the drop himself. "It helps to pull the line a little … like this." He demonstrated again. "That makes it look like a little munchie swimming around."

"What kind of munchie? Fish and insects move differently in water and would be found at different depths. And how do you know which kind of fish will—"

"You know, skepticism and over-thinking have been known to travel through the line and actually cause worms to spazz with worry. Then the fish see the worm all spastic and start talking to each other about how fake it looks jerking around in the water like that. Before you know it, the fish have moved to another pier, and your worm ends up in therapy because it was on the hook all that time being stared at, rather than being eaten."

Bahamut giggled at Shuyin's warning. "That's not true."

"You don't know that. You're not a worm or a fish. Drop the line, tweak it a little, and be patient. Trust me." When Shuyin felt the kid was prepared to handle his first catch, he backed away to where Lenne stood and shoved his hands in his pockets. "I'm surprised he didn't ask which species of bug the worm should try to be. You need to get him out of the house more often. Take him to the beach for a weekend. Take him camping or something."

Amused, the singer lifted a brow. "Is that an offer? I'm sure he'd love it."

Shuyin smiled at her repeat attempt to set him up with her little brother, but then he sighed in frustration and turned away, hopping up to sit on the rail. "Dinner tonight was proof that I can't do personal stuff like this without getting … personal."

"And you don't want it to get personal because of Koji," she cited his former argument.

"It's not what I want," he admitted. "It's just not my place."

Lenne smiled at his honesty, but then looked slightly troubled as she moved to stand before him. "You know, I've been doing a lot of thinking since I met you."

"Ominous-sounding combination ..."

"I met Koji through a friend who brought him backstage after one of my concerts. My first impression was that he was quiet … handsome ... nice. Since then, I've learned he's also a bit of a poet, though he'd never admit that," she added with a hint of humor. "He's sensitive and passionate about his likes and dislikes, but rarely voices opinions about them … with the exception of blitzball."

"Yep. That's Koji." Shuyin lowered his gaze to the deck and wondered why she was telling him this. He didn't want to hear it.

"But my favorite thing about him is how he makes me feel like a human being when the business of being an icon becomes surreal. I can be myself around him without having to be 'switched on' as a public spectacle. You're a lot like him in that respect. It's one of the reasons I feel comfortable talking to you like this. But what's really cool about you is that you're also a public spectacle, so you know what it's like for me. It's why you wanted me to call you by your name rather than your persona." She placed her hands on his knees and tried to read his expression.

He wanted to tell her he had been thinking the same thing about her. Instead, he cast a glance toward the boy holding his fishing pole. No bites yet. "I don't get where you're going with this."

Lenne sighed heavily. "I need to ask you something, and I need a sincere answer. I need to know why you and Koji are no longer friends."

"You said he already explained that."

"He told me why you argued, but … I don't know what to think anymore." Shaking her head, she folded her arms at her chest. "You are not the person he said you'd be, so I'm having a hard time understanding why he feels so resentful. I want to hear your side of the story."

Shuyin's mouth twisted with caution. "What did he say about me?"

Lenne winced. "Do you want his exact words? Or the polite version?"

"Let me guess. I got all the attention in the sphere pool because I'm Jecht's son, and I played my dad's name to steal the spot on the Abes team. Therefore, I am the scum of the universe."

"Well, that did come up. But he said you were a real player outside of the pool, as well. He said you could have any girl you wanted, but you got mad at him when he became interested in the one girl that refused to date you. He also said you broke his sister's heart by leading her on, even though you were interested in someone else. After the concert, he warned that you would flirt with me if I ever saw you again, so he doesn't want me anywhere near you."

Shuyin shook his head, annoyed. "Okay, I'll admit I'm a flirt. I'll even plead guilty to liking more than one girl at the same time. But he's making it sound like I had a harem, which is hardly the case. And I never ever meant to hurt Kaila. Did he tell you he's the one who set me up with his sister so he could go behind my back for the girl I wanted? He engineered that disaster so that he could get in good with her dad, the owner of the Duggles."

"He still desperately wants a spot on that team."

"So he can face-off against the Abes and me, no doubt. I hate to say it, but he may even be using you to impress them, just like he did with Birana."

"Koji would never use my celebrity as a career move. I have no connections to blitzball, and he often says he wishes I wasn't famous."

"He once told me he hated living in my shadow. If he resented his best friend that much, why would he willingly live in the shadow of a famous girlfriend? Koji doesn't want you hanging around me because he's afraid I'll flirt with you, but he's also afraid I'll tell you how he uses people. I backed away because I don't want to get between you two, but considering how he used Kaila and me, maybe he deserves to be paranoid about me hanging out with his girlfriend. Except, that would be using you to get back at him. And I don't play those kinds of games. … Because I know how much it hurts to be used."

Shuyin sighed and rubbed his face, wishing this topic would just go away. "Look, I honestly don't know whether or not Koji has hidden motives in dating you. You asked for a sincere discussion about the past, not the present. So, I'm just telling you what I know. He's very competitive. He hates being second best. I never intentionally did anything to offend him, but I guess me being who I am is offensive enough. If he finds out you came here tonight … If he finds out we talked about this, or that I kissed you before dinner—"

"Why did you kiss me? … Really."

He tried to think of a poetic answer since she seemed to admire that quality in Koji. But, in truth, only one answer came to mind. "Because I wanted to." He shrugged in defeat and lowered his gaze to the deck. "Lamest excuse ever, I know."

"Very lame," she quietly agreed, mildly amused. "But ... sincere."

Shuyin remembered her comment about not wanting to spoil her appetizer. "Wait. You said he warned you after the concert, but you've come to see me twice since then."

"I guess I needed to make up my own mind about you. I like Koji a lot. He's a sweet, wonderful guy. I was even beginning to think I loved him."

"Don't …" He shook his head. "Don't go there."

"It's true that opposites attract. But common interests bond. And after giving it some thought, I realized Koji and I have nothing in common. We've been together for months now, but I'm still at a loss about how to know him better. Blitzball seems to be his only interest. And, as I said before, I can support that, even if it's not my thing, because I want to support him. But he doesn't return that support. He doesn't care about what I do. He never asks what my goals are or what I like. He makes no effort toward getting to know my family and barely acknowledges my little brother. He has no desire to see the rest of Spira or to try to help people like I do. I couldn't even trust what he was saying about his best friend without talking to you myself. What does that say about how we relate? He's a nice guy, but honestly … I've had more fun being with you."

Shuyin shook his head. "Nope. I'm out. I said I didn't want to get involved because I don't want anyone blaming me for coming between you."

"I'm not blaming you."

"He will."

"It's my choice who I enjoy spending time, Shuyin. I am not a piece of property that Koji owns. And I shouldn't have to stay in a relationship that doesn't feel like a good fit. That's not fair to me or him."

Shuyin was hesitant to respond. "Well … If you're sure someone else might be …"

Lenne couldn't help but smile at his caution. "Not to make assumptions, but yeah. I think I'd rather be with someone curious about aeons and familiar with the price of fame. Someone who likes adventure and has a weird sense of humor."

He winced slightly. "It's not that bad, is it?"

"Well, not as bad as your poetry."

He still wasn't convinced. "You're sure you'd rather be with me?"

She nodded. "Being with you … It just feels right."

Shuyin felt excited about that but then felt ashamed for feeling excited. "Then, what do we do?"

Lenne sighed. "It would probably be best if I told Koji the relationship's just not working for me. I'll try to let him down easy."

"At least now he has a valid reason to hate me," he muttered.

She interlaced her fingers in his, paused a moment to admire how their hands looked together, then smiled up at him. "Does that mean I have a valid reason to ask for another birthday kiss?"

His lips pursed as he gave it some thought. "Well, technically, it's my birthday, not yours. I should get to do the asking. Then again, your birthday kisses were kinda sad, so ..."

She giggled at his teasing. "Well, if you're going to be that way about it, I guess I'll have to change how I give birthday kisses to you."

With a mischievous glint in his eye, he gave her a warm smile and released one hand to touch her cheek. Though nothing had truly changed yet, he felt free to admire her in a whole new way now. Guilt still nagged at the back of his mind. But he pushed those thoughts aside and let her tongue slip underneath his, as he tasted her kiss for several heartbeats.

"Shuyin! I think I got a bite!" Bahamut called over his shoulder.

The blitzball player reluctantly looked past Lenne toward her brother and saw the end of the pole bowed toward the dark water. "Bad timing, kid. Very bad timing."

Lenne laughed at the displeasure in his expression and tone.

But, Shuyin hopped down from his perch on the rail and stood behind the boy to show him how to work the catch as Jecht had done so many times with him. "Reel it in steady, but kinda loose. If it gets too tight, the line might snap." As the boy struggled, Shuyin easily became more excited to help. "Keep it up! Pull and reel! That's it!" Leaning over the rail, he helped draw in the line. "Look at that! Woo hoo! Your first fish!" Pulling the wildly flipping animal out of the water, he held up the line for Bahamut to see.

The boy grinned broadly at his accomplishment but didn't seem to know what to do next.

"You have to dance around a little because it was difficult, but you did it anyway. Fish dance! Woo hoo!" He did his little victory dance to demonstrate. Bahamut was too shy to join in, so Shuyin expertly unhooked the fish and held it by its open mouth. Then, he grabbed the hem of the boy's shirt and cinched it tight around his belly before dropping the fish into the shirt's neck. Bahamut laughed out loud and squirmed, trying to avoid contact with the cold, wet fish. He tried pulling away from Shuyin, so the bottom of his shirt would open for the fish to drop out of it, but the blitzball player held tight. "That's it! Fish dance!"

Lenne doubled with laughter at the silly spectacle, then encouraged their little party on the boat deck by dancing with them. "Woo! Fish dance! Go, Baha! Go, fish dance! Go, Shuyin!"

))((

The next game for the Zanarkand Abes was a loss similar to the previous game, but with one difference. This time, the loss was Shuyin's fault. He made one judgment error that set the entire game into a tailspin. His coach wailed on him for it, and his teammates were disgusted. Even fans were upset with him. It was his first experience with how fickle his own fame could be, going from the crest of the wave to the riptide in one play.

After he showered and changed into dry clothing, he exited the back rooms to find Lenne and Bahamut waiting for him among the game stragglers and hecklers. He and Lenne had been contacting or seeing each other daily since his birthday, and he was never more glad to see her than now. Choking back his anger at himself and ignoring the insulting shouts, he strode forward to meet her without a word to any autograph seekers.

Lenne placed her hands on his shoulders. "Do you want to go home tonight, instead of going out?"

"Yeah, but I told Naya and Luperis I'd meet them at the Waterwall."

"Well, then you should go home early after keeping your word." Lenne gave him a kiss and tried to smile. "Don't be too hard on yourself, alright? You did your best, and sometimes that's simply all a person can do."

"And sometimes you totally screw up because your best isn't good enough, and that's unacceptable. One more loss and we slip from the top round for the Crystal Cup tournament." He led the way through the crowd and headed toward the floating bridge beyond the stadium.

Lenne rubbed his arm and slipped her hand into his as they walked. "It's not the end of the world. It's just a game." She tried to sound encouraging, not dismissive.

"To you, maybe. To me, it's rent, fuel, food ... everything! If they cut me from the team because I can't score as many goals as my old man—"

"Shuyin." She silenced him with a stern tone and frown. "If I hear one more word comparing yourself to your dad, so help me, I will push you off of this bridge, and you can swim home alone. He was not perfect. And neither are you. You made a mistake. It happens." Scolding done, her expression softened with worry. "What's done is done. All you can do now is learn from your mistakes and try again."

With a sigh, he drew her into his arms. Closing his eyes, he leaned his forehead against hers, so glad to have her there. Then, he stepped back and tried to smile. "Let's get something to eat." Taking her hand, he led the way to their favorite sports bar and restaurant.

In the diner, at their table, they picked up the menus and scanned for their favorites. "What's a ... flan-flan?" Bahamut asked.

Lenne made a face. "Sounds like a dessert made out of fiend-fiends."

Bahamut made a face in agreement with her but then shrugged and touched the selection anyway. He had been adventurous with holding worms and fishing recently, so why not try a new food.

"Did you talk to Koji yet?" Shuyin asked Lenne as he placed his order.

"No. He had another discouraging day today. There are still no openings in any of Zanarkand's professional leagues, and nobody is willing to take him as an alternate until next season's tryouts. Would you happen to know of any opportunities? It would help if you could put in a good word for him with someone."

"I don't know of any openings, either." Shuyin didn't want to expand on that answer. "But ... it's been a week."

"I know. I need to say something soon because I can't be with him without thinking of you. But I don't want to upset him and make things worse, you know? He's been so depressed as it is."

"So, this is Lenne?" Luperis approached the table and held out a hand to the singer. "I know he brought you to the locker room before, and there was that little meeting in the men's restroom I'm pretending I never saw, but I didn't realize that you until he told us who you were. Clever disguise." He chuckled and gave the bill of her puffy cap a light tap.

Shuyin smiled with buffered pride. "Luperis is a big fan of yours. He's the one that introduced me to your music."

"Really? Outstanding. Nice to meet you." Lenne shook his hand and that of the female player beside him. "And you are?"

"Oh, that's Naya. I don't think she's a fan of your music, but she's pretty cool, anyway." Shuyin gave his teammate an exaggerated wink.

Naya gave his shoulder a light smack. "What are you talking about? I love Lenne's music. You were the only one in the pool who had no clue who she was." The female blitzball player imitated his little dance and voice. "Why is she going out with her guitarist when she could be going out with me? It's not the size of the ship, but the motion of the ocean, baby."

Lenne laughed and looked to Shuyin, easily able to picture him saying and doing that.

"Thanks for that, Naya," he returned.

"Anytime, little dude." She returned his exaggerated wink with two thumbs up.

"Trade autographs with you." Luperis jokingly switched napkins with Lenne.

Lenne chuckled and checked her little brother's expression. Bahamut was quiet, as usual, but he was smiling and happily kicking his feet under his chair. The kid was thrilled to be in the company of three Abes players. "No problem. You want to sit with us? We could push two tables together."

"We're good." Naya sat down beside the boy while Luperis dragged a chair from the table behind them. Turning the back of the chair toward the table, he straddled it and sat down, squeezing himself between Naya and Shuyin at the four-person table.

"Well, if it isn't the almighty Abes!" A man from the bar behind them had turned around in his seat and held up a mostly empty glass in their honor. His speech was slurred, so it clearly wasn't his first glass for the evening. "Whoopie! The team that couldn't tell a venom shot if it kicked them up aside the head! When the Abes retired Zak, they lost the brains of the organization, they did. Haven't seen a game played that terrible since the first game after Jecht disappeared." The drunk stood and approached their table, ignoring their unhappy glares, to confront Shuyin. "By the way, your new shooter isn't half the man that Zak or his father was. Did you not see Toma right under your nose for a pass, boy? Any idiot could have seen there was no way that shot was strong enough to score from halfway across the pool!"

Shuyin swallowed his pride and tried to explain. "Toma was behind me, and I was about to get crunched in a four-way tackle. It looked like the only way to keep the ball was to shoot it."

"Don't feed me that crap." The drunk waved his hand. "You work out your game strategies before you even enter the pool, so you should have known Toma was behind you to receive the pass. You just wanted to be a hotshot by making an impossible goal."

"I looked for him, but I didn't see him. How much time do you think I had to make a decision before being tackled? If I didn't see him, I wasn't going to waste time looking for him and risk losing the ball."

"The kid doesn't have eyes in the back of his head," Naya added. "It was an honest mistake."

"He's got a neck!" the drunk loudly complained. "He could have turned around to look behind him! He was right there!"

"Back off, man," Luperis calmly warned. "You've had a little over the top tonight, and there's always next week."

"No, you back off! I had five thousand gil resting on that game, and that snot-nosed punk, sorry excuse for a right forward, bankrupted me!"

"Well, then you're an idiot for putting five thousand gil on a game," Shuyin retorted, irritated that this man was harassing him.

"What did you just call me? Son, I can remember when you were no bigger than a blitzball yourself. Your dad brought you to the Abes games, and you used to cry anytime someone looked at you sideways. What makes you think you own the show just because your daddy was a legend? It's probably because you were so whiny that he left, and your mama slit her own throat."

In two seconds flat, Shuyin was on his chair, across the table, and on the drunk man. Grabbing the man by the collar, he slammed a fist into his sagging face, then spun and kicked the man's chest, sending him crashing into the table behind him. The table and all of its food spilled to the side. The people sitting around it cried out, jumping away from the fight.

Bahamut's eyes grew wide with fear.

Stunned at the sudden chaos, Lenne stood and physically shielded her little brother.

"If you have a complaint about my game, I'll take your ass in the sphere pool any day! But leave my family out of it!" Shuyin snapped at the drunk.

Lenne reached for his arm, trying to pull him back to his chair.

The drunken man clutched his chest where he'd been kicked. "What are you trying to do? Kill me?" He grabbed a knife from the table and whipped it toward Shuyin.

The drunk's aim was off, and Shuyin could have dodged, but he remembered who was behind him, stepped in front of the knife, and raised an arm to block it. "Lenne!"

She had already cast a magical shield around herself and her brother to deflect any makeshift missiles.

Growling under his breath, Shuyin started to lunge at the drunk again, but Naya and Luperis caught the back of his shirt and hooked his arms to restrain him. "You better thank your lucky stars that knife didn't hit them!"

"He's threatening to kill me!" The drunk complained to the whole restaurant.

"Knock it off, man, or you're going to end up in jail!" Luperis glared at their youngest team member. "Now, we're going to walk out of here without hitting anyone else, understand?"

Naya moved between Shuyin and the drunken man, ready to intercept any further attacks from either one of them.

Shuyin looked over his shoulder toward Lenne and Bahamut and forced himself to calm down. Ashamed of having lost control in front of them, but still furious about the drunk's personal slurs, he snapped free from Luperis and stormed out of the restaurant on his own.

"Um ... put it on the tab for the Abes," Naya told the restaurant manager, who had come to gawk at the damage. Then she and Luperis followed Shuyin.

Lenne dropped her magic shield and hurried Bahamut out behind them.

In the parking lot, Naya cornered Shuyin and shoved his shoulder so hard that it spun him around to face her. "What the hell is the matter with you?" The woman that had calmed his nerves before their first game now looked as if she were about to rip his internal organs out through his nose. "As long as you are a member of the Abes, you will not lose your cool with the fans like that! No matter how obnoxious they get, you keep your hands and your opinions to yourself! Everything you did tonight is going affect the rest of the team! The headlines won't care about the game now because everyone will be talking about you! Our pay might be docked to pay for your damages! We might even have to apologize to that bastard when simply letting him speak his mind and pointing him back to his drink would have sufficed!"

"He threw a knife at me!"

"I don't care if he threw a grenade! You don't hit the fans!"

Naya's anger surprised him, but she was right. He had blown it again, big time. Shuyin fought to control his racing heart. "I'm sorry, okay? ... I'm sorry."

"Damn right, you're sorry," Luperis groused. The large, dark-skinned man was angry, too, but instead of adding more fuel to the fire, he placed his hands on Shuyin's shoulders as if to ground him. "You'll be even sorrier when you have to face the big boys in the office tomorrow. Because not even Jecht can help your ass get MVP now. But there's nothing you can do to take it back, so go home and sleep it off before you make matters worse," he advised before releasing him.

Shuyin knew his teammates had saved his skin. Lowering his gaze, he nodded in reluctant agreement. Lenne came forward and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his chest. He could still hear his angry heart pounding in his head, but as she held him, his internal storm calmed. Already, she was such a stabilizing force that he wondered how he ever lived without her. Nodding one more time in apology to his teammates, he slipped an arm across Lenne's shoulders, placed a hand on Bahamut's head, and let them walk him home.