A/N: Hey guys! So there has been complete silence on the last chapter. HELP ME! I really could use some feedback on it. Just so you know, it wasn't exactly supposed to be good. Seriously, it was their first crack at that type of ... shall we call it alternate intimacy? I have provided this chapter as some fan service for you guys. I really could use some constructive criticism though. What did you like? What did you hate? Are you like "meh"? I appreciate your feedback.
PLEASE HELP ME !
The next day Endymion woke with a sense of peace. He was able to tell now how far out of sync he'd been. Spending time in the garden the day before had pulled him back into harmony with himself. He was certain that finally allowing himself to indulge in his sexual fantasies with Serenity had contributed to that peace. At the same time he wanted more. It was a good start to feeding that part of him but it felt rather tame and clumsy. What was it exactly he was looking for? What did he really want? "You're awfully deep in thought today, Endymion."
"Hm?" He looked up from his breakfast. "I suppose."
"Any particular reason?" Serenity looked at him, curious.
"I was reflecting on yesterday." He took a bite of his eggs.
"I had wanted to ask you about it but I was unsure how to broach the subject. How do you feel about yesterday?" He was silent for a moment. He'd liked it and he hadn't. They would need to experiment a little, he decided.
"Some I liked quite a lot. Some not so much… There will be a learning curve I suppose."
"That doesn't surprise me." She drank some of her tea. "I need to get comfortable with it too. It's all new territory."
"Is it something you enjoyed?"
"I did. I understand your prior hesitation though. I didn't think I would have so much trouble with it the first time." He looked at her again.
"It didn't seem like you were having trouble." She grinned devilishly at him.
"I can't deny that I enjoyed myself but I still felt pretty clumsy." They fell silent for a while, continuing their breakfast. "Endymion, do you remember our first time together?" Why would she ask him about that? He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. What a very long time ago that was. How old had she been? She was in middle or highschool… he'd just finished highschool… maybe 16? 17? His thoughts went sideways for a moment and the thought of Small Lady having sex at around that maturity level (she was over 900 after all but certainly had not physically developed to that point.) - he'd kill the boy who dared touch his daughter in such a way. "Endymion?"
"Hm?"
"You have a terribly murderous look on your face." His cheeks turned a light red. He cleared his throat.
"... Small Lady." He said shortly.
"Ah. I guess it shouldn't surprise me that your thoughts went there."
"Did… did your father-?"
"Oh god no, he deferred all things sex related to my mother. The topic completely freaked him out. To him I was always a virgin. He may have even told himself so up to when Small Lady was born. My mother knew though." When they became intimate with each other back then he hadn't given much thought to what her parents thought about it. His only concern was her and if she was ready. He did everything in his power not to pressure her into having sex with him.
"I can't seem to recall how old… how old you were…"
"I was 15. It was the summer just before my first year of high school." Leaning back in her chair she tilted her head back, eyes closed and a tinge of pink touching her cheeks. "You were so gentle, so kind. Even then, I remember how uncomfortable and nervous I was. It's one of those memories I've always held onto tightly and cherished. So, do you remember?"
"Hmm…"
"Mamo-chan, thank you for helping me with my homework…". They were sitting on his couch in his apartment.
"Well, it's never easy to get you to do it willingly so of course I jumped at the chance to help when you asked."
"Mamo! You're so mean to me." He chuckled at her. She crossed her arms and huffed. "Everyone is always teasing me…". He stopped laughing and looked at her sweetly.
"You make it very easy, Usako." She glowered back at him. "Do you want some tea?" She relaxed a little.
"I guess." He got up and went to the kitchen. When he came back he brought the tea and some small tea cakes.
"Maybe these will cheer you up." Her face lit up instantly.
"Those look so yummy!" She attacked them, barely touching her tea. "Mamo, where did you get these? They're amazing."
"There's a new bakery down the street. They have all kinds of pastries." He took a sip from his tea. Soon the cakes were gone along with the tea. "Usako, it's starting to get late. Your parents are going to worry, why don't I drive you home."
"My parents think I'm at Mina's house." She said. He looked at her, a question hanging in the air. She seemed very tense, fisting the hem of her skirt and pulling at the stitching. She looked away, her face bright red. "I… uhm…". She fidgeted with her skirt some more. He watched her as she took a couple of deep breaths. "Would… would it be ok…. if I stayed here with you tonight?" His eyes widened just a little. The silence seemed to hang heavily in the air. He wasn't sure how to answer her. Was she suggesting what he thought she was?
"Well, I guess yeah. I can sleep on the couch…"
"No, Mamo. You don't understand. I want to be with you tonight." So she had meant what he'd thought.
"Usako…". When she looked back at him it took his breath away. She looked nervous but she had this determined look on her face that was striking. Her eyes were almost fierce and the set of her features was absolutely beautiful. "Usako, I can't possibly ask you to…"
"That's why I'm asking you." She interrupted. "Please? I want to."
"I don't know, Usako. I don't want you to think you have to do this and rush into it." She shook her head.
"No, Mamo, I'm not rushing. I genuinely want to. Please?" He sat silent for a moment or two. He wanted to but he wasn't in any kind of hurry. He exhaled and relaxed onto the couch. Well, he hoped his self-control was up to par then. He gave her a very slight nod. She relaxed a bit too and smiled lovingly at him. It quickly became clear that she hadn't thought the evening through to this point. Maybe she had expected him to stonewall her? "O-okay then." She said triumphantly… sort of.
"You didn't really think this through did you?" He asked jokingly.
"I DID TOO! I… I just..." She fell silent. When he moved next to her he saw her jump. He scooped her up onto his lap and hugged her close.
"Usa, we don't have to do anything. You can stay and if something happens then it happens. Why not let it come naturally?" She relaxed against him.
"Okay." She answered quietly. "That sounds good."
"Okay." He kissed her temple. "You're very precious to me, my darling bunny." She turned and rested her head on his shoulder.
"And you're precious to me, Mamo." They sat that way for a while, silent. He felt her relax against him. He was sure she'd fallen asleep until he felt her lips brush against his neck making him gasp. She shifted in his arms until she was straddling him on the couch. Her eyes were dark as they searched his face. What was she looking for? She reached up to cup his cheek and leaned in for a kiss. He kissed back gently, trying not to scare her with his growing hunger and need. He allowed his hands to rest on her waist. As the kiss continued his hands crept up, pulling her shirt up with them. When his fingers brushed against the side of her breast she gasped and pulled away. He looked back at her, concern on his face.
"Usa, we can stop." She didn't answer him. Instead she gazed at him again with those eyes, almost as dark as the night sky. In response she pulled her shirt up and over her head and discarded it on the other end of the couch. He took in the sight of her, the lacy pink bra hiding what he really wanted to see. Her face had been getting progressively redder and she was now bright as a lobster. She averted her gaze, clearly embarrassed. "Usa… Usa look at me." She looked at him sideways. "It's ok. Here, get up." He helped her off of his lap and stood next to her. Taking her hand he led her to his bedroom. Once there he shut off the lights so that only a little moonlight came filtering in through his sheer curtains. "Better?"
"Y-yeah."
"Are you sure you want to keep going?"
"Yes." Her voice was quiet but determined. She unzipped her skirt and let it fall to the floor, showing off her matching pink underwear. His self control was evaporating faster than he expected. He reached up and brushed her cheek with his knuckles then dropped his hand to her breast. He felt her tense for a moment and then relax against his hand. Shakily she touched his shirt running her hand across his shoulder and then down his chest. He took her hand in his and moved it to the buttons. She hesitated.
"It's ok, take your time." He could see her expression turn determined in the faint light. She undid each button with care and once his shirt was open she ran her fingers over his chest. He undid his belt and untucked his shirt, allowing it to fall from his shoulders. He watched her face as she looked over him. She brushed her fingers over his skin, leaving a burning trail of butterfly kisses behind them. His breathing was becoming labored. He sure as hell hoped she wouldn't change her mind at this point. He took in a breath when she hooked her hands on the waist of his pants. Slowly, she undid the buttons and pulled on the zipper. It felt like the sound of it echoed loudly against the walls of his room. She pulled on his pants and they fell with a rustle to the floor along with his boxers. She pulled away, nervously staring at his growing erection. He waited for a few moments but she didn't move. "Usa?"
"Yes?" She asked as if in a trance.
"Usa, we can still stop." Her eyes snapped up to look into his. Without breaking eye contact she reached around and undid the clasp of her bra, letting it fall down next to his pants. His hand went to her breast almost of its own accord. She closed her eyes. He ran his thumb over her nipple eliciting a gasp but she didn't pull away. He was quickly losing control of himself. He dropped his hand to hers and pulled her to the bed. She climbed on willingly, dropping her head onto his pillow. He followed her and stood on his knees near her feet. His hands were shaking as he reached for her underwear. When he tugged on the delicate fabric she lifted her hips from the bed, allowing him to remove them easily. He tossed them aside and drank her in. So long, he'd waited so long for this. Her skin was like shimmering pearls in the faint light of the moon and her eyes like deep dark sapphires. Starting at her knees he ran his hands along the inside of her thighs, pulling them apart as he went. When they reached the apex of her legs he used his thumb to press against her clit. He stilled when he felt her flinch. He looked up at her again. "Are you sure you want this? Soon I won't be able to stop." After a second or two she nodded.
"I'm sure." She answered hoarsely. He searched her face but found no doubt there, just nervousness.
"Okay. Let me know if I'm hurting you."
"I will." She said breathlessly. His attention turned back to her opening. He took two fingers and pressed into her. She was very tight and he felt her walls jump, clamping down on his fingers. He was definitely worried about hurting her. She was so fresh and new, it would be uncomfortable at the least if she took him in like this. Still pressing his thumb against her clit he began working his fingers in as far as they would go. She ground down onto his hand, pressing her head into his pillow. Encouraged he inserted another finger. She was panting, her eyes closed and he could feel her walls quiver. He spread his fingers as wide as he could, trying to stretch her just a little more. Once he did it only took three or four more thrusts to bring on her orgasm. She cried out his name softly as her juices drenched his hand. He certainly wasn't stopping now. He brought his hand to his mouth and licked it clean, savoring her flavor. He looked back at her, watching her pant on his bed. Here goes nothing. He spread her legs further and draped them over his thighs. He leaned over and supported himself on his elbows as he looked into her face. He dropped down to press his cheek against hers and took a deep breath. She smelled like jasmine and roses mixed with fresh snow.
"We'll take it slow. It's going to be uncomfortable so let me know if I need to stop or slow down." She nodded, still drifting in a haze of pleasure. He positioned himself at her opening and pressed against her. Her breathing became slightly labored. He pressed harder and dipped in just a little, the whole time studying her face. Good grief she was tight. He pressed in further but stilled when she flinched. After a moment she nodded. He pulled out and went back in, deeper this time. He continued working into her little by little until finally he completely sheathed himself in her. "Oh gods…" he whispered involuntarily. He fought tooth and nail against the overwhelming need to start pounding into her. He looked down on her again. She had a light sheen of sweat on her brow and her face was fixed in a grimace. He remained still within her waiting for her to grow more accustomed to his size. Her features began to relax and she opened her eyes to look at him.
"Okay." She whispered. Still fighting the urge to slam into her he set a slow and steady pace. He wasn't going to last very long. Eventually she began to move with him, matching his movements and locked her legs around his waist. He fought to control his movements. He could still hurt her if he wasn't careful. He felt her clamp down around him as she hit her peak again. She cried out as she came hard around him. Finally his pace sputtered, he came too. He moaned out her name as he rocked into her as far as he could. He rode out his orgasm grinding into her. When he was finally spent he opened his eyes to look into her face. There were tears in her eyes. He cupped her cheek, worried.
"Are you okay?" She sniffled a little and leaned into his palm.
"I think so. I don't know why I'm crying." He studied her for a minute. He knew why. It was her first time and love or not there was always some kind of an emotional fallout. He pulled out of her and settled down at her side. He reached out to the end of the bed unfolding the comforter that rested there and covered them both. When he pulled her close to him she pressed her face against his chest. Even though she wasn't weeping he could still feel her tears on his skin.
"Usako…"
"I'm okay, Mamo, really." She cleared her throat and hugged him. "It was wonderful. Thank you." He hugged her back and kissed the top of her head.
"I love you, Usa."
"I love you too." She relaxed against him and before long she was snoring quietly into his side. He listened to her sleep for some time before sleep took him too.
Endymion finally looked at Serenity and smiled. "I do remember." She smiled back.
"I really wasn't sure what to expect or what I wanted back then. Will you talk to me? And tell me what you liked and what you didn't like? We can learn together and I'm sure we can make it into what you really want."
"Yeah, I suppose we really could." Her smile turned into a grin.
"Okay." She went back to her breakfast. He turned his attention to his meal as well. "Just let me know when you're ready to try again."
"I will. I need to reflect on how I feel about it."
"Okay." She took another bite of her breakfast. "Just so you know, I won't be back for dinner tonight. There's a late meeting I need to oversee."
"Okay, thank you for letting me know."
"Endymion, please don't neglect your preparation. We're only a week out from September 1st."
"I should say the same to you."
"Yes… I'm guilty of being lax this last month. We really cannot allow ourselves to do this again. I just hope neither of us regrets this." She reached out and rested her hand on his. He looked up at her. He felt a little ragged, run down. She smiled at him weakly. "I love you."
"I love you too.
