The vague throbbing of his back woke him from his fainting spell. So their fears were warranted. He grew angry at himself for failing his wife. Now she had to endure another month of this nonsense. He opened his eyes. He was alone in their room. Mercury must have applied the medicated cloth to his back. He pushed himself up off the bed and stumbled over to the door leading to the balcony. He leaned against the doorframe with his arm. It was still only early afternoon and he could hear the birds singing in the distance. He slid down to his knees. He didn't have any strength in his legs. He was so angry and frustrated to the point of tears. He slammed his fist into the floor. What was all of this for? They were bowing to an unseen force. War. Could war really break out? Was there really a threat or was it an individual pulling strings from the shadows? "Damn it!" He pounded his fist against the floor again.
"Endymion." He looked over his shoulder at his wife. He realized how crazed he must have looked. He could still feel the tears on his face. She just looked at him. Her gaze made him feel completely transparent, like she was looking at him and through him- seeing all of his life… seeing all of him. He got lightheaded suddenly and wavered. At least he didn't have far to fall. He laid on his side where he landed. The rustle of her dress filled his ears as she went to him. "Oh, Endymion." Her hand caressed his cheek. "I won't presume to know how you're feeling right now. Let me help you back to bed." She helped him up and he allowed her to lead him back to bed. He was once again lying down but this time with Serenity sitting next to him. "What were you thinking, getting out of bed like that?" She asked him softly.
"I'm so sorry." She didn't answer him. Instead she opted to run her fingers through his hair. Neither of them said anything for some time. The feeling of her hand on his head was soothing and it drew him close to the edge of sleep. His heart felt as though it could tear straight out of his chest, breaking through the floor and fall all the way down to the center of the Earth.
"I forgive you." He opened his eyes and looked up at her. "Endymion, I forgive you." He felt tears come back to his eyes.
"You do… you forgive me?"
"Yes, I do." He took her hand in his and kissed it. He hadn't realized how much he needed to hear her say that. "I'm not upset with you, my love. Are you upset with me?" He looked at her sadly.
"God no, why?"
"Exactly." Well that was an effective way to make her point. "So please, please stop thinking I'm upset with you. I promise you I'm not even close to it." She got up from the bedside and went to her dressing room. It didn't take long for her to return dressed in a nightgown and crawl into bed next to him. She snuggled up close to him, pressing her forehead to his on the pillow. They didn't say a single thing, they didn't have to. He took such great comfort in having her so close to him. He reached up and rested a hand on her neck, just below her chin, and caressed her cheek with his thumb. "Mmmm." She cracked her eyes just enough for the mid afternoon sun to catch the bright blue, making them sparkle. She looked into his eyes for some time before saying anything. "You're heartbroken… aren't you Endymion?"
"I am."
"If I could I would mend it in an instant." She reached up and rested a hand over his heart. "I cannot nor will I tell you how to feel. I just wish you weren't in such pain." He was growing tired again.
"Please…" he said the word but he didn't know what to follow it with. What was he asking for? She already forgave him, so it wasn't that. His heart was crying out for something but he couldn't find the words to put to it. For a moment it felt like he grasped it and asked again. "Serenity, please…". Was he crying again? There were tears on his cheeks, he could feel them. He opened his mouth again but words didn't come.
"Okay… okay I will. As soon as you know what, I will, I promise." She reached up and brushed his tears away with her knuckles. "For now, please get some rest. I'll be right here next to you, I won't go anywhere." He took in a shaky breath and relaxed into the bed. She would be right there, she wasn't going to leave him alone. That last thought felt like a distant ripple in a pond. He was asleep again in seconds, sad but reassured.
Endymion woke early again. It was still dark outside but the whispers of morning were on the horizon. He was in pain but it wasn't quite as bad as previous months had been. Serenity still slept next to him. She was snoring lightly and he was certain it was drool he saw at the corner of her mouth. Now, more than any other time, was she at her most beautiful. The person he loved was sleeping next to him. Not the queen, not the mom, not the warrior. It was just… "Serenity…". He whispered. His voice did not stir her, she just continued snoring next to him. Things did look better today. He held a sense of calm in his heart this morning. The day before was what it was, there was no changing it. Today he could control. 'I'll head to the garden and do some yoga later.' He thought to himself. When he shifted to get up a hand wrapped around his bicep.
"You will rest today and I will be here to make sure that you do." Although spoken groggily the words were said with finality. She was looking at him through one half-open eye. "Now lay back down or I'll take away your garden privileges for this month." She definitely meant it. She held him fast even after he laid back down. She was soon snoring again but this time with her hand firmly attached to his arm. So much for getting out of bed. Instead he turned his thoughts to their situation.
He'd been hearing whispers of unrest before beginning his sentence several months earlier. The whole planet felt like it was on the brink of something and they continued to teeter on a knife's edge. One wrong move could undo all of the progress humanity had made up to this point. As he thought about it it wasn't all that different from when Queen Metalia had brought ruin to the earth millennia ago. Everything they'd worked to build was on the line. There weren't very many people around who remembered the time before the current silver Millenium. The time of division and conflict before Crystal Tokyo was founded. Was it someone from then or someone who didn't know what that life was like? Was it even a "someone"? Could they be dealing with another invader or was it terrestrial? He hadn't begun any intelligence gathering before his incarceration. Now his hands were tied and he had no way of looking into the matter. What could he possibly do from their little hallway at the top of the crystal palace?
"Mmm… mamo…chan…". He looked back to his wife. She was talking in her sleep. He felt himself grow tired again. Maybe he could find out more information from her later today. He watched her for some time before allowing himself to go back to sleep. She had decreed that he would rest today and she was his Queen, after all. Her word was his law.
The sunlight coming in from the balcony finally stirred him from sleep. The light warmed his skin, feeling like a gentle caress. 'What time is it?' He thought. It had to be after noon judging from where the Sun was in the sky. He shifted to get up and flinched. Right, his back. It was more painful now than it had been when last he woke. Even so, he sat up in bed with some effort. Serenity wasn't in bed with him. When he looked around the room he caught sight of her sitting at the table on the balcony. She was looking at her tablet again with a scowl on her face. He just stared at her for some time until she looked up at him. Her features relaxed instantly and she tilted her head. "Hello my love." She said. He didn't answer her. She sat looking at him for a while before getting up and walking over to him. When she reached the bed she hugged him close against her chest. He turned into her, drawing in her scent. She rested a hand on top of his head. "I think it's time we clean you up and change your dressings. Come on…". She pulled away from him and offered him her hand. He took it and followed her to the bathroom.
The shower was refreshing and it felt good to be clean with fresh bandages and clothes. When they'd finished in the shower he went and sat at the desk in their room. Should he ask now? It was as good a time as any. "Serenity."
"Yes?" She was heading out to the balcony but stopped when he spoke.
"Is there anything you can tell me about how things are developing with this war threat we're facing?" She looked at him for a bit before sighing and sitting down on his piano bench.
"Sadly no." She smoothed her dress. "I have the guardians working on it but they haven't really had any success as of yet. I spoke with Mars the day before yesterday and she said that some unrest had subsided but that the threat still lingers in the air."
"Day before yesterday?" His brow furrowed.
"You've been asleep for two days darling." So two days this time. He was perplexed by how these periods of unconsciousness varied each time. "Either way, we have nothing yet. I have a meeting with your judicial committee at the end of the week to go over how to handle this month. We know what the terms are, we just need to make it official." He nodded.
"Do you think there's anything I can do from here to help? Anything at all?" Serenity thought about it for a moment but finally shook her head.
"No, I don't think so. The best I can offer is just to keep you in the loop. We're trying to keep this investigation far, far under the radar. A wrong move could actually trigger civil war…" They both fell silent.
"So I can do nothing." He slammed his fist against the desk, making Serenity jump in surprise. Suddenly he was a teenager again, unable to help the sailor guardians do anything. All that time before his crystal was unlocked when he had little to no power came flooding back. Even when he gained access to the Golden Crystal it took Serenity to unlock it. "Again… I'm useless again, why-" he was interrupted by Serenity's hand as it came into contact with his cheek. Had she… actually slapped him? He sat for a moment in disbelief before looking up at his wife wide-eyed. Her eyes were alight with fury.
"How dare you." She seethed. He was so shocked that he just looked at her, caught absolutely off guard. "How can you belittle my feelings so easily Endymion?"
"What…I… " the words that came to him were jumbled and confused so he just stopped trying to speak. Tears had come to her eyes.
"You are necessary to me. How could you say that you're useless when I need you so desperately? And what's all this nonsense about being useless again? Surely you aren't referring to when we were children." Tears were rolling down her cheeks at this point. "How many times do I need to tell you this before it gets through to you? I need you to go on… I can't continue without your strength and support, Endymion. Every time you do this… it feels like you're calling me a liar… and that the way I feel means nothing to you…" She was on the brink of sobbing. Reflexively he stood and wrapped her in his arms, hugging her tight against him.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…" He said finally. They stood for a while, Serenity crying into his chest. She was right of course. He really needed to end the pity party he was throwing. All of this on the heels of telling Pluto along with the other guardians not to pity him. "I'm a fool. Of course I care how you feel. Your happiness is the reason I draw breath. I need you too…". They stood like that until finally Serenity stopped crying. She took a deep shaky breath and then pulled away.
"I swear, Endymion, if you do this again I will beat you…". He could tell it was an empty threat but he was certainly going to take advantage of it. With a devilish look in his eye he leaned in close to her ear.
"I sincerely hope you do."
