Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem Three Houses, all rights to the owners.
So, small problem with having Claude be the POV character… I'm mostly restricted to the Golden Deer, which is a shame, because I have ideas for characters that are not just the Golden Deer. I have to decide what I'm going to do with that, because I am not leaving out the other classes.
"I can see you've been productive while I'm gone." Claude smirks.
"I can tell you've gotten less sarcastic while you were gone." Hilda replies, not looking up from her meal. When Claude sits down across from her, she pulls a bottle out of her pocket and slides it across the table. "The merchants came by while you were away. You owe me a hundred gold."
Claude picks up the bottle and inspects the plant within. Hemlock. He's been looking for this. It's common up north, but the Alliance doesn't stretch that far so it's been hard to get his hands on it. If Hilda hadn't picked this up for him Claude might have had to wait quite a while for another chance. "Thanks Hilda, you're the best."
"Tell me something I don't know."
"I ran into the Ashen Demon and the Blade Breaker."
That gets her to look up. She visibly raises an eyebrow at him and props her chin on a hand. "Really now?"
"Yep. The Demon looked a lot more normal than I expected. He was totally emotionless, but a great tactician."
"A tactician? Isn't he known for his skill in fighting?"
"Yeah. We didn't get to see a lot of that." Claude nods. "A shame."
"Hmm…" Hilda hums in understanding. "What about the other two?"
"Nothing." Claude admits reluctantly. "Even with a bandit ambush, they didn't show anything."
"So much for that plan then." The girl chuckles. Her pink eyes return to her meal, and her faintly purple fingers pick up her fork again.
"You take amusement in my failure? You wound me Hilda!" Claude gasps dramatically.
"Oh please, seeing someone as cocky as you fail at something is the height of entertainment. It's the same reason you think Lorenz is funny."
"Funny in a sad, pathetic sort of way." Claude reminds her. "So are you calling me pathetic?"
"You said it, I didn't." A smile creeps across her face. "So, Raphael was talking about how a huge group of people came in just a few hours ago, do you know anything about it?"
Claude nods. "That's the Breaker's mercenary company. Alois insisted he come to the monastery. Apparently the Breaker used to be the captain of the Knight of Seiros."
"Hmm…" Hilda hums. "And the Ashen Demon?"
"He's here too. His name is Byleth actually." He leans in with a conspiratorial whisper. "I heard from a priest that he's being made a teacher."
A frown crosses Hilda's face. "I don't suppose he has any credentials?"
"Not that I know of."
"Well that's suspicious."
"I know, right?" This is why Claude likes Hilda. She picks up on these things quickly. "And apparently it's Rhea herself who insisted he be a teacher."
The girl purses her lips. "Well that's an interesting tidbit."
"But I have no idea what it could mean. Nothing concrete anyways." Claude sighs.
That's fine though. Claude considers himself somewhat of an expert in pulling apart mysteries. This will be no different.
###
Claude knows how to take advantage of distractions. He's done it all his life. The difference is that usually it's him that makes the distractions in the first place. Rhea and Seteth being in a meeting with the Demon and Jeralt for a prolonged period of time is something he can use though. That means neither Rhea nor Seteth are in the upper levels of the cathedral, where their rooms and a bunch of important documents are held. That looks like a fantastic opportunity to Claude.
He could have gotten here sooner if he hadn't detoured to talk with Hilda, but it was a good idea in his mind. If Hilda knows he's back, she'll cover for him if anyone is trying to find him.
"If you're so organized, why can't I find what I'm looking for?" Claude frowns. His fingers pull paper after paper out of the drawer. Single sheets, books, tomes, anything. "This is all just… junk."
Financial reports, memos, imports, storage counts… all of these could be useful, sure, but it's not like he can take these, and he sure doesn't have time to copy them. He could read them, but he has more important things to look for.
Claude thought student files would be easy to find. It shouldn't be this difficult! There's no way Seteth doesn't have them in his office, so where are they?
"Nothing is ever simple." Claude thinks with a shake of his head. "Not in this one. Next."
He's skimmed through about half of the files in the room, looking at a few from each drawer to try and find his target. It happens eventually, but it takes far longer than he hoped.
"1175, 1176, 1177…" Claude mutters. "1180. Okay, here we go."
He pulls out the files on himself, Edelgard, Hubert, and Dimitri. The four people Claude needs information on the most. He needs to see how much the church knows about him, and he needs info on the three others.
He looks at his own file first, and… it's surprisingly bare bones. His name, gender, species, and a quick synopsis of the basic facts of his life. Or, more accurately, what the church thinks are the basic facts of his life.
"Good, they don't know anything." Claude nods, and slides that file back in its place. "But…"
Edelgard, Hubert, Dimitri. Nothing. The files are totally useless. They're just as bare bones as his.
"Species unknown? Really? Not even a guess?" Claude sighs as he reads Hubert's file. It's the most barren of the four by far. Hubert's file doesn't even span half a page. "Useless. They're all useless. Figures."
This was all just a waste of time. He should have known. They wouldn't keep sensitive information in an office like this. If the church does know something, it's not here. Maybe Seteth's room would have been a better target, or Rhea's.
Footsteps in the hallway. Claude quickly slips all the files back into their place, closes the drawer, and hides behind Seteth's desk. The footsteps are too quiet to be Seteth. He doesn't walk that lightly.
The footsteps stop in front of the door and Claude holds his breath. "Did I leave the door open? That would be stupid of me. I don't think I did."
Whoever is outside the door paces in front of it for a moment, and Claude can hear a hand on the door handle. A long pause follows, and Claude wonders what this person is waiting for.
"Maybe I should climb out the window…?" Claude considers. He shakes his head. "No, I'd be too noticeable." Blue sky, pale walls, blue roof? Yellow clothes and dark skin is going to stand out against that like a sore thumb. "If someone comes in, I guess I'll just have to accept punishment."
By some miracle, the person doesn't open the door and actually leaves. Claude doesn't question his good luck. He waits until the footsteps are suitably far away and slips out of the room.
If he'd looked back he might have seen Cyril peering around the other end of the hallway, watching him leave.
###
Looking natural is a skill. A skill most people don't have. Claude is not one of those people, he's quite good at looking inconspicuous.
The key to looking natural is doing something. It's not natural to stand around doing nothing. Just having a book in your hand does wonders for making people ignore you. No one realizes that Claude is actually waiting for someone.
"Are you waiting for someone?"
Okay, maybe Hilda realizes. "Why yes I am. How could you tell?"
"You haven't turned a page in the last five minutes."
Apparently he still hasn't perfected his facade. "Don't go exposing me to the less eagle-eyed. It wasn't you I was waiting for."
"Rude." Hilda huffs. "If you want to be less suspicious, you might consider sitting down. Leaning against a wall and reading? No one does that unless they're waiting for something."
"Ah." Well, that does make sense.
"So, who are you waiting for?"
"Well, I've heard the Demon was wandering around the grounds just a bit ago talking with some of the students. I'm hoping to watch him, or maybe sway him to the side of the Deer." Claude admits.
"Well you just missed him." Hilda smirks. "You're slow on the draw Claude, it's unlike you."
"Hey, I was busy!"
"Sure, sure." Hilda huffs. She flips her hair behind her shoulders. "So, since you were busy, I took it upon myself to talk with him. He wanted to know about all the students in our house and all that, so I entertained him for a bit."
"I don't believe my ears! Lazy Hilda putting in effort?" Claude chuckles. "Erm… what do you mean we'd be a good choice to teach? Isn't that predetermined?"
"Not this year. Apparently Rhea is letting the professors choose, and since he's new, Hanneman and Manuela are giving Byleth the first pick." Hilda says. "I figured you'd want him over the others, you seemed to think he was interesting, so I made sure to lay on the charm. You can thank me later."
"You're the best Hilda."
"That's the second time you've said that today. I think that covers my contributions to your plans for a few months." The girl smirks. "So you better not pester me for help anytime soon."
Claude snorts at that. He never asked Hilda to help with anything. It's just like her to cover up her own efforts.
"And now you snort at me? Don't make me tell Lorenz."
"Oh Goddess, anything but that." Claude chuckles. He closes his book and stands up straight. "Even if you've talked to him, I should go try myself. Which way did the Demon go?"
"To the main hall."
"Great." He shoves the book in his pocket and walks off. "Thanks again Hilda."
"Yeah yeah. You still owe me a hundred gold!"
"I'll give it to you tonight, yeesh!"
###
Claude finds the Demon talking with Annette and Mercedes. It also occurs to him that he should stop referring to Byleth as "the Demon". It's not like he can call him that to his face, and he doesn't want to risk a slip up. Calling him Byleth sounds too personal. If he's going to be a teacher, then how about… Teach.
Simple, casual, but impersonal. Perfect.
The half elf waits patiently as the man converses with the two. Claude eyes the two girls with absent curiosity. From what he's gathered, the large majority of the main classes in the Officer's Academy are comprised of non-humans, yet so many of the students look perfectly human. Not all of them have tell-tale signs like Claude's pointed ears. Even those that do have obvious signs don't exactly tell everyone what they are, with only a few exceptions.
Lorenz isn't exactly subtle about being an angel after all. Angel in the literal, platinum-skinned, golden-eyed sense; not his personality.
Those that are truly human are usually easy to determine too. Fodlan's upper classes are comprised of either non-humans, or humans with superpowers of some sort. So when people like Leonie enroll in the academy, you can be fairly sure they're "just" human.
Just human… in Almyra, being human would be special, and dark elves are the so-called "normal race".
So, when Claude looks at Annette and Mercedes, two girls hailing from nobility, he has to wonder what species they are, or what superpower they possess. Annette has no obvious markers, and Mercedes is monochrome peach colored, clothes and all, which could be a sign of a certain species… or she might just like wearing peach.
"No sense in indulging idle speculation." Claude sighs. He has other things on his plate. He has all the school year to poke into people's mysteries if he really wants to. Still, he's going to put that into his notebook. "And I'm going to need a bigger notebook…"
The Dem- Teach eventually stops talking with the two girls and turns directly to Claude. He must have heard Claude walk up beforehand. "Yellow, what is it?"
"Rude Teach! I have a name you know."
"As do I." He replies flatly. "Most people tend to. Did you want something?"
"Well aren't you sarcastic?" Claude thinks. "Is it a crime for a student to want to chat with his future professor."
"Not that I'm aware."
Claude blinks slowly, waiting for the smirk or the punchline, but Byleth's expression remains flat. Then it hits Claude what's going on: "He's not being sarcastic at all. He's taking this literally."
As if he wasn't strange enough already.
"So… are you okay to chat then?" The boy asks cautiously.
"Sure."
"Hilda mentioned to me that the teachers are allowed to choose their classes this year, so I figured, as house leader, I should be arguing why the Deer are clearly the best choice."
"You are?"
"I mean…" Claude has never had to deal with someone this literal. Does Byleth actually not understand he's being sarcastic? Maybe he should explain, just in case Byleth really is that oblivious. "I'm sure all the houses are equally good, but as house leader I'm expected to make a case for mine."
"I see." Byleth nods. "These are the 'social expectations' Father mentioned…"
"Just how isolated was this guy? Why in Fodlan's name is he being allowed to teach?" Claude muses. The Demon might be much more of a mystery than he was expecting. He was expecting the man to be cold and logical, not socially oblivious to the point of not understanding sarcasm. There's a story here, and Claude wants to know it.
###
Gossip is useful. You can't take it all at face value of course, but there's a lot you can learn from keeping an ear to the rumor mill. Listening to chatter around the tables at lunchtime has already given Claude a few nuggets of info to put in his notebook to investigate later.
His other main sources of gossip are Hilda and Lorenz. Hilda actively bring interesting tidbits to his attention, while Lorenz just can't shut up so Claude overhears things by virtue of how loud the boy is.
Claude isn't just listening to gossip to learn people's secrets. It's also nice to know what's going on around the monastery, and not just to formulate strategies and plan his movements and investigations based on that information, he also likes gossip for the sake of hearing stories. It's fun.
Today Claude is listening in to the Blue Lion's table. It's rare for all of them to be gathered in one place, usually they're split into two or three different tables with Mercedes, Annette, and Ashe at one and everyone else at another (sometimes Dimitri and his retainer Dedue sit somewhere else, having a private conversation).
Ashe is the topic of conversation today. He's sitting between Mercedes and Annette with his shoulders hunched and hands clenched around his utensils. Judging by Mercedes rubbing his back, he must be worried about something. Everyone at the table seems to be listening to him, but unfortunately he's speaking in such a quiet voice Claude can't hear what's going on.
Thankfully for Claude, Sylvain, a deathly pale redhead known for being a womanizer, is far from quiet in his response. "I don't see what you're worried about, you scored a hot date! Actually, care to share your technique?"
"I wasn't trying to score a date! I don't have a technique!" Ashe protests. "She was showing me how to get to class because I got lost! I-I don't know how it happened!"
"I don't see the problem. Accident or not, you got a date with a princess! I mean, sure, she's foreign royalty and you can barely talk to your own prince without a stutter, but no pressure. You probably won't cause a diplomatic incident."
Ingrid promptly slaps Sylvain on the head and hisses "You're not helping!"
Ashe buries his face in his hands. Even Mercedes, who is usually a peacemaker, frowns at Sylvain in disapproval. The redhead shrugs unrepentantly. "What? It's true."
Claude is simply fascinated by this. He only knows the basics about Ashe. He's some commoner who got taken in by a noble, so he's likely human without any powers. If he's hearing this right, Ashe accidentally got a date with foreign royalty. Not nobility, royalty. That narrows it down to precisely two candidates: Edelgard and Petra. It seems unlikely that Edelgard would ask someone on a date in the first place, much less be so indirect about it that Ashe would consider it "accidental", so it's probably Petra.
Claude wishes he could have been there to see what happened. He'll have to get the full story some other time. Maybe Hilda knows about this.
"I don't see what you're worried about." Sylvain says, ignoring the glares he's getting from everyone at his table. "You got a date with a hot chick with legs for days. You might even get luck-"
"Shut up." Ingrid smacks him again. Mercedes's frown turns into a full-on glare. Claude shakes his head as he watches. He feels like he understands Sylvain already. An obvious womanizer. He's probably the last person Ashe should be listening to at the moment.
Claude is curious now. Ashe says he got a date "by accident". What exactly does that mean? Is it explicitly a date, or is Sylvain just calling it a date when it's just a casual meet up of some sort?
Hmm… maybe he should go talk to one of the Eagles. They might know something.
###
"Hilda, I need a favor."
"I thought I told you I was done doing favors for a few months." The girl huffs.
"You know you can't resist helping this handsome face." Claude grins. "Besides, I think this might interest you."
He takes a moment to explain the gossip he hears about Ashe, and Hilda's face lights up with interest. "Really? That's interesting. I'm guessing you want me to go talk with Petra?"
"Or just see if one of the Eagles know her side of the story." Claude nods.
"Okay, fine, but only because I'm interested." She huffs. "Why do you want to know anyways? Are you planning to break into one of their rooms? Are you getting political dirt on Petra?"
"Nope. I'm just curious." Claude admits.
Hilda snorts and shakes her head. "You're worse than me sometimes, and this is the last favor, hear me?"
"You say that, but you love me too much to stop." He teases.
###
Hilda knows exactly who to go to for gossip surrounding the Eagles, but it's not who people might expect. Most people peg Dorothea as a gossip girl, and they're actually wrong. While Dorothea is more than happy to talk about gossip if it comes up, she doesn't pay particular attention to it.
No, if you want to know about the Eagles, you go to Caspar and Linhardt. Mostly Caspar.
"Caspar!" Hilda calls. She puts on her most winning smile. "Heeeeey! Did you heeeear?"
"Heya Hilda. Hear about what?" The boy grunts. He's in the middle of training right now, and is beating on a dummy with a pair of training gauntlets.
"About Petra!"
"You mean about the thing with Ashe?"
"Yes! I only know a bit, I was hoping you could explain. There are some rumors about it; Sylvain's fault I think." That's a lie… for now. Hilda didn't hear anything except from Claude, but she expects anything Sylvain hears to be public knowledge soon enough.
"Right, so, I heard Petra talkin' about this with Dorothea, and asked about it, so Petra explained." Caspar grunts. "Petra was just finishing early morning training, right? She walks out, and sees, and I quote: "a well looking boy with grey hair"."
"Well looking?" Hilda smirks. "That sounds like Petra alright."
"So, since he looked a bit worried, she went up and asked what was up, right? Ashe was lost, so Petra offered to help. They start talking as she shows him the way, and they get into talking about how Petra wants to become familiar with Fodlan's culture and whatnot, so Ashe says he knows a few restaurants in the area he could suggest if she wants to try some of Fodlan's food, and not only that he offers to make her some recipes he knows."
"So not only did Ashe unintentionally ask her out, he offered to cook for her too?" Hilda thinks with a shake of her head. "What did Petra think?"
"She was really excited." Caspar says. He actually has a grin on his face. "She kept mentioning how she couldn't wait, and how she wished the weekend would come sooner so she could "go on that date with the cute boy of grey hair"."
"Go on "that date"? Wait, did she know what a date is?"
"Nope. At least, not in Fodlan terms." Caspar nods. "She thought a date just meant an event on a certain day, not a romantic thing. Though when Dorothea explained Petra seemed even more enthusiastic, so it's all good."
"Ashe is sooo lucky. Actually, I guess Petra is too. I wouldn't mind someone cooking for me." Hilda huffs. "Hmm… if Ashe doesn't consider cooking for someone a big deal, maybe I can talk him into making me something?"
Claude would probably roll his eyes at her for that and call her lazy. Others would call her manipulative. Maybe that's true, but why should she cook if she can get someone else to do it for her?
"Thanks Caspar. I think I get it now." Hilda says. "Claude should find this interesting, if not particularly noteworthy."
"No problem." He grunts without looking away from his practice.
###
"Well that's painfully cute." Claude chuckles.
"I know, right?" Hilda says. She then crosses her arms. "Is your urge to pick apart mysteries satisfied now?"
"That itch is never scratched." Claude chuckles. "Here's your gold by the way."
"About time."
"Say, Hilda…"
"Before you ask, no, I am not doing you another favor."
Claude holds his hands up in surrender. "I just wanted to ask if you knew when the decision had to be made for the teachers."
"Oh, that's in two days." Hilda says. "We'll find on the first day of class."
"You think they'd tell us beforehand." Claude muses. "Ah well. Thanks Hilda, you're the best."
"That's three times today." The girl huffs. "I should start charging for how great I am at this rate."
"How about I treat you to a cake tomorrow? I saw a place that makes some nice ones on the way in."
"Deal." She says instantly.
Slow burn here with giving out species/powers. A few of them I'll mention right off the bat because the character wouldn't or can't hide it (like Lorenz), but for others it's going to be Claude slowly piecing together clues, wheedling it out of someone, or the reveal only coming when they actually use a superpower or ability. If I give away everything right at the start, this would be a really short story.
So, those of you familiar with one of my other stories, The Robin Variable, will be familiar with how I do angels already. Those of you who aren't, like my AO3 audience, you'll come in unspoiled. By no means do you have to have read The Robin Variable, I'll be treating these quirks as if you've never seen them before. Some of them are entirely new anyhow, like Hilda's, so none of you have any prior knowledge to go off.
Also, I should mention that this story isn't just focused around quirks. There is a plot of sorts, and character interactions aren't entirely predicated around species or superpower. That's actually the reason I decided to put in the Ashe/Petra subplot, to show you (somewhat) what to expect of this story… as well as Claude's insatiable need to know the truth of things.
