Chapter 1

Handsome and Trouble

(Hansel and Gretel)

Handsome: Sunstreaker

Trouble: Sideswipe

Parents: Perceptor & Windblade

Old Seeker: Starscream


Once upon a time in a cottage near the Sea of Rust lived a poor solar panel farmer, his new wife, and his two young sons; Handsome and Trouble.

The farmer's wife was most displeased with her new life. She was married to a mech that lived in the middle of nowhere, his two sons were brats that she didn't want to raise, and to top everything off his solar panels were failing to provide for them due to him building his house in a place that frequently suffered from sun-blocking rust storms. This led to a fuel shortage for the family, which led to much resentment on her part.

"Whatever are we going to do, husband?" The wife asked as she looked around their shabby home, "We cannot support four people on your meager harvest! There is barely enough for the two of us!"

"But what am I, a simple laborer, to do?" The farmer asked dramatically, "I cannot control the sun, my dear."

"Apparently you can't control your kids, either!" The wife then pointed at the stairs, where Trouble was hanging upside down from the railing and swinging his arms from side to side.

"He's making the best of our ghastly situation, wife," The farmer replied defensively, "I know times are hard, but I'm sure we'll survive."

"No, we won't. Not like this," The wife insisted, "If we continue on this way then all four of us will die. There is only one thing left to do. Trouble, go tend the solar panels on the west side of the house. I think I saw the sun peeking out from the rusty clouds."

"Oh boy! Sun!" Trouble exclaimed as he ran outside; his thundering footsteps shaking the foundation of their poorly constructed house.

"I'm glad you've gotten back into the harvesting spirit," The farmer smiled.

"No, husband. I sent him out of the room because of what we need to discuss," The wife replied gravely, "I've tried to make a good home here despite the willfulness of your younglings, but times are too hard now. If we are to survive, then we have to get rid of the children."

"Get rid of them!?" The farmer asked in horror, "You want me to kill my own sons?"

"Not kill them, get rid of them," The wife corrected, "We lead them far away from our cottage, and if they are strong they will fend for themselves. Then what little energon you produce can actually do some good for the two of us."

"Oh, must it really come to this?" The farmer wailed in grief, "To never again see Handsome's drawings decorating our walls? To never again hear Trouble's infectious laugh? Is there truly no other way?"

"I believe you already know the answer to that," The wife replied solemnly, "If it makes you feel better, I will be the one to lead them away."

And so it was that the next orn Handsome and Trouble were led out into the desert wasteland by their stepmother. She told them that their father would soon join them for a picnic, but Handsome got suspicious when he saw his father crying as they left. Besides, he knew there was no energon for a picnic. It had to be a trap.

Figuring out that their parents were trying to abandon them, Handsome hid some pebbles in his subspace and said nothing to either Trouble or his stepmother as he surreptitiously scattered them along the ground to make a trail.

When they made it to a small canyon the stepmother exclaimed "I think I see your father! Run along to the bottom of the canyon, and we'll be down shortly."

The boys then walked down the canyon's ledge, but before they made it to the bottom Handsome put his hand on Trouble's shoulder to stop him from going any further.

"Okay brother, let's go home now," Handsome ordered.

"Home? But what about our picnic?" Trouble whined.

"There's no food, dummy! How could there be a picnic with no food?" Handsome pointed out, "That wicked femme is trying to leave us here. We must return home at once."

"But I wasn't paying attention to where we were going," Trouble lamented, "How are we supposed to find our way home?"

"Fear not Trouble, for I have made us a path," Handsome replied conspiratorially.

The brothers then walked back up to the top of the canyon, and sure enough, the pebbles were still in place. They would have to hurry before the strong winds came and blew all the pebbles away. With this in mind, the young mechs transformed into sports cars and drove all the way home.


Several orns later fuel was still scarce, and the sun had not returned to give the poor farmer its nourishment. Everyone was suffering, and it was under this mindset that the stepmother tried once again to lead the boys into the desert to be rid of them. Handsome was wise to her tricks by now though, so he gathered some flakes of steel from his father's workshop to use as a trail to guide their way home.

The stepmother took a different route just in case the boys had memorized the first one. Handsome and Trouble were quiet this time, with even Trouble understanding that they were now considered a burden to be dumped by their hateful stepmother.

This time instead of a canyon the stepmother led them to a collection of large pieces of jagged steel that grew up from the ground. The ominous steel forest seemed to go on forever, and the sky somehow seemed even darker here than it was at their home. It was a terrifying place, especially for younglings.

"Your father and I set up camp in the forest," Their stepmother lied, "Go on ahead, and I'll catch up with you."

With those words their stepmother flew away using her jet alt mode, and the boys started walking into the forest so that she would think they bought her lie. As if either twin was that foolish.

"Did you leave another trail?" Trouble asked Handsome worriedly.

"Of course, dear brother," Handsome replied, "I collected flakes of steel dust from Father's workshop and scattered them along our path. Now we must hurry before the wind blows away our trail."

The boys then went to the edge of the forest, following the trail of steel all the way. After a few minutes however they discovered something horrifying...scraplets. Scraplets had shown up and were eating the steel flakes! Their trail was gone, and now the scraplets had spotted them and bared their deadly mech-eating teeth!

"RUN!" Both brothers screamed in unison.

The twins then ran further into the steel forest, hoping the natural metal growths would help them lose the scraplets. The buzzing of the ferocious scraplets rang in their audials, forcing their pedes to move faster and faster! The sound of the swarm grew fainter as one by one the scraplets latched onto the jagged spikes of metal and began to feast.

It took several breems, but eventually the boys made it out of the forest and every scraplet had ceased following them. Once they made it back to flat barren ground the twins heaved in deep intakes of air as they tried to gather their bearings.

"Well...I guess that means we won't be home for dinner," Trouble said half-jokingly.

"There was no dinner," Handsome sighed bitterly, "We're alone, brother. They abandoned us. If we try to go back we'll be eaten by scraplets. Face it, the only way we can go is ahead."

"But there's no natural energon in the desert!" Trouble exclaimed frantically, "We have no solar panels, no oil, no energon...no anything! We're gonna starve!"

"Calm down, Trouble! Complaining won't solve our problem. No, we just have to keep moving and hope we find some other place to live. Maybe another solar panel farm where we can work as laborers, or maybe we could herd sheepicrons."

Trouble groaned miserably, but knew his brother was right. If they were to survive, then they would have to make new lives for themselves. With no other options, the twins started walking into the vast horizon with no destination in mind and no means to take care of themselves.


For two orns the boys walked, and their energy reserves were practically nonexistent. Their frames began to grow rust, their movements became slower, and their blue optics grew dim. There seemed to be no end to their suffering.

Just as the complete darkness of the night gave way to the almost-darkness of the morning, Handsome saw something strange in the distance.

"Trouble, look!"

It was a house, but not just any house. It was a little cottage made entirely out of energon! There were light blue energon treats used as tiles for the roof, bright high grade for the door, purple energon for the frame of the house, and even the glass on the windows was the material used for energon cubes. It was amazing!

"This cannot be real..." Handsome gasped in amazement, "Do you think it's a mirage?"

"Mirage? He's in this play?" 'Trouble' asked idiotically.

"Shut up, Sideswipe!" 'Handsome' whispered harshly to his brother.

Overjoyed at seeing actual energon in such great supply, the twins ran for the building and started tearing large chunks out of it and eating with relish. There was liquid energon in the river by the house, and Trouble started slurping the rushing water greedily. Handsome had both servos full of solid energon, which he ate as he moaned in delight. The boys were so happy. Most of the energon was refined with flavors, something their poor family could have never provided for them.

The boys were so engrossed in their spontaneous meal, that they didn't even notice the mech coming out of the house until they heard a shrill voice playfully quip "Nibble nibble, young glitch mouse. Who is nibbling at my house?"

The boys stopped what they were doing immediately. Trouble popped his helm out of the river, and Handsome stopped mid-chew to slowly turn his head to the stranger. A large seeker was standing at the door of the energon cottage, and he was looking at them with kindly blue optics and a warm inviting smile.

"Oh, go on. I don't mind," The old mech said reassuringly, "I can tell you boys have traveled a long way. You must have, for no one lives near me. Why, it's been so long since I've had visitors. Could you come closer please? I'm afraid my optical output isn't what it used to be."

The boys approached the mech warily, and were surprised when he reached his servos out to feel their faces.

"Hey, watch it!" Handsome snapped.

"My apologies, younglings," The old mech replied, "Like I said, I don't see well. My, my, your armor feels so oxidized. You must have gone a long time without fuel. I can understand how that feels. Why don't you come inside, and you can have some energon that isn't load bearing. Hee hee hee! My perpetual energon machine can feed a family of mechs for a lifetime."

Smiling at each other, the brothers followed the seeker inside; unable to believe their luck. If they played their cards right, maybe they could get this kindly stranger to adopt them or give them work, and then their problems would be over.

The seeker invited them to sit at the table, where two large cubes of high grade had already been prepared. Handsome immediately went to grab a cube for himself, but Trouble turned to the seeker and asked "Um, are you sure we can have this? We're only younglings, and this is high grade energon."

"Well who's going to stop you? Your parents?" The old mech asked pointedly.

"Well..." Trouble didn't exactly know how to refute that argument, so he joined Handsome in drinking the energon.

Trouble immediately began to feel weird after drinking from his cube. He could tell from looking at Handsome that the same thing was happening to him. Before either cube was even halfway finished, both brothers simultaneously passed out, and the seeker laughed in wicked glee as he rubbed his hands together.

"Mistakes one made cannot be undone, and now I'll smelt you in my cauldron! Hee hee hee!"


Trouble awoke with a massive headache. He rubbed his helm and stood up. Looking around, he saw the same glowing energon walls as before, and remembered where he was. Funny, he didn't remember falling into recharge...

"Trouble! Are you okay?" He heard his brother Handsome shout.

"Sure, I'm fine. I'm-" Before Trouble could take even a step however, his leg was stopped.

He looked down, now fully awake, and realized that his pede had been shackled to the floor! He frantically looked around, and also saw that Handsome was trapped in a small cage with a bucket full of energon goodies.

"Brother, what happened?" Trouble asked in a panic.

"Trouble, it's the seekers, he's-!"

"He's what?"

Both brothers turned to the front door as the seeker came back in. Trouble couldn't believe what he was looking at. The once kindly old seeker now had large serrated teeth, and he now had claws that looked like knives protruding from his servos. His optics had also turned a bright vicious red.

"He's a scraplet-former!" Handsome shouted accusingly at the old seeker, "He's not a real mech! He's going to eat us!"

"What!?" Trouble exclaimed incredulously.

"That's right, little mouse. You are both now my prisoners...and my prey. Hee hee hee!" The old mech laughed maliciously, "You should be thankful Trouble, for I am going to let you outlive your gluttonous brother. You shall be my slave and keep my house tidy. The house you tried to eat, if you'll recall."

"So you were mad about that?" Trouble inquired innocently.

"Silence!" The scraplet-former screeched, "You will help me feed your worthless brother until his frame becomes lustrous and healthy. Once my little mouse is of high enough quality, I shall feast on his frame! If you step out of line, then I shall eat you as well."

Trouble gulped, and then looked over at his brother, who glared defiantly at the alleged seeker. Trouble sighed, realizing he was helpless to do anything against such a terrifying and powerful foe. He would have to do the creature's bidding, all the while trying to figure out a way to save his twin brother's life.


Deca-orns passed in the scraplet-former's home. Trouble was forced to sweep floors, dust the furniture, and tend the energon machine so that parts of the house could be quickly replaced and Handsome could be frequently fed. Trouble was barely given anything to eat, and when he complained the seeker would beat him until he cried out for reprieve at the top of his vocalizer.

Though Trouble was battered, he wasn't broken. The seeker was practically blind, and the only way he could tell if Handsome's frame was pure enough to smelt or not was to feel of his arm. Trouble saw this routine, so one orn while the seeker was tending his garden the red twin gave his brother a rusty pipe about the circumference of his arm.

"I don't think this'll hold up long enough for me to beat the scraplet-former with it," Handsome observed.

"No," Trouble whispered urgently, "When the seeker asks to feel of your armor, shove this through the bars. He won't know the difference, and it'll buy us some time."

The seeker could be heard returning in that moment, so Handsome hid the pipe behind him and slipped an energon treat in his brother's servo to keep his strength up. They knew they would need their wits about them to defeat this powerful older mech.

Just as expected, the seeker demanded to feel Handsome's arm. Handsome did as his brother had told him and held out the pipe.

"Strange. If anything you feel rustier than before," The seeker commented, "I'd better increase the amount of energon you consume. I need you to get healthy quickly, for I have not eaten a live mech in a long time, and I have so craved a morsel that fights back. Hee hee hee!"

And so it went. For three more deca-orns the seeker fed Handsome extra energon, and Handsome would smuggle that energon to Trouble so that he would not starve. Every time the seeker asked to feel Handsome's arm he would give him the pipe instead, and it continued to fool the seeker. After three deca-orns of these shenanigans however, the scraplet-former had had enough.

"Trouble! Get over here now!" The scraplet-former bellowed, "Turn on my cauldron so that it may get hot. I'm tired of waiting. Healthy or rusty, I will eat that golden glutton!"

Trouble gulped, and then turned to his brother, who sat in his cage looking at them with a listless glare. Handsome knew they could do nothing now, but Trouble wasn't about to give up so easily. There had to be a way to defeat the scraplet-former and save his brother.

Trouble went over to the cauldron, an automatic smelting device with a lid that latched at the top, and imagined his poor brother being melted down alive inside that awful thing. He had to do something! Wait a klik...melted alive. That was it!

"Excuse me, sir," Trouble addressed the seeker, "How does this thing work? I've never used a cauldron before."

"You turn the knob all the way up, and it gets hot. That's literally it. There's only one button!" The seeker chastised the red mechling.

Trouble fiddled with the knob and got the cauldron hot, but then stuck his servo over it and said "Excuse me, sir, but the cauldron is still cold. Is it supposed to still be cold? And are there supposed to be wires sparking out of the bottom?"

"Sparking?" The seeker exclaimed, "What the frag did you do to my cauldron!?"

The seeker then ran over to inspect the damage, but when he leaned in to check on it, Trouble shoved him inside and slammed the lid shut! The seeker rammed against the heavy smelter to try to force himself free, but it was locked up tight as a drum. After a couple breems, the scraplet-former's struggles ceased. He would trouble innocent mechs no more.

Trouble wasted no time and went to the cage to free Handsome, but then realized something...

"Um...Where's the key?" Trouble inquired.

"The seeker had it," Handsome replied dryly.

"Oh. Oops..." Trouble replied sheepishly. "Now what? I still have a chain on my leg and you're still locked in a cage. What do we do now?"

"What else? Grab some energon plaster and dig in," Handsome replied with a shrug of indifference.

So together the brothers started eating the energon cottage, both still locked up but at least free of the scraplet-former. The house was theirs now, as was the device that made energon out of thin air. They could both live like this for a while, at least until they figured out how to break their bonds. So they both lived piggishly ever after.

The End


Author's Notes: I know this idea is different from my standard fare, but inspiration struck and I had to pursue it. This is a way to give you complete stories as well as a fanfic that updates. The best of both worlds. Now that I've done Hansel and Gretel, which fable should be adapted by the Transformers next? Let me know :)