Welcome back to the Polyhex Playhouse. Tonight's tale is an urban legend that comes to us all the way from the pre-Golden Era past. It is a tale of betrayal and loss, as passed down from a people who suffered from one of the greatest blights known to Cybertronian kind; cosmic rust.

This reenactment features an all-inclusive cast of Decepticons and Autobots. The funds for this play were generously donated by Thundercracker, The Helexian Center of Cultural Studies, Cashagon, and Mudflap's Aft Cream. If your aft is feeling rusty, then turn to Mudflap's: the number one trusted brand for your most sensitive of needs. Now, without further ado, we present to you...


Chapter 2

The Music Mech of Helex
(The Pied Piper of Hamelin)

Music Mech: Soundwave

Mayor: Swindle

Mayor's Assistant: Gears

Annoying Kid: Wheelie


Once upon a time in the city of Helex there was a problem. A massive problem. A problem that swarmed and afflicted the citizens and drove everyone crazy. That problem was turbo rats.

There were turbo rats in the streets. Turbo rats in the energon warehouses. Turbo rats in people's closets and garages. It was nearly impossible to drive on the road due to all of the disgusting disease-carrying turbo rats going about their business and impeding traffic. Sometimes they would even end up in the mechs' and femmes' passenger seats!

Everyone in Helex was miserable and afraid. The turbo rats ate up their energon and caused the citizens to fear that the tiny beasts would give them cosmic rust. They blamed everything for the plague, from an angry Unicron to acid rain to the mayor's former assistant, who was swiftly thrown out of town.

"Hey, stop pokin' me with those spears!" Rattrap yelled as he ran from the mob, "How many times I gotta tell ya? I ain't a turbo rat! I just look like one!"

Unfortunately even chasing away the mayor's assistant didn't solve the problem, and the rats continued to invade the town.

"Such a shame," The mayor lamented from his office, "That guy sure knew how to make a cup of warm energon. Say, new assistant, we got any ideas for how to deal with this rat problem?"

"How the pit should I know?" The new assistant replied grumpily, "I'm just a temp. This time next deca-orn I'll be as far away from this death trap of a city-state as possible."

"Come on! There's gotta be something we can do!" The mayor exclaimed more insistently, "My aft is on the line! Those angry villagers will rip me a new one if we don't figure out how to rid our little hamlet of those stupid varmits."

"Alright, alright, I'll check the pest control database," The assistant relented; muttering under his breath about his boss the entire time.

And so it was that mechs from far and wide came to the mayor and proposed their ideas for disposing of the turbo rats.

A seeker trine believed making the town stink would rid them of the turbo rats, but that plan backfired when the smell attracted even more. Now the town was rat infested and smelly. The seekers were swiftly kicked out of town, which they didn't mind since Helex now smelled like a landfill.

The second exterminator tried using lasers to kill the turbo rats, but that only served to damage several homes; not making a dent in the rat population. Not to mention all the holes in people's houses meant the turbo rats could get in and out more easily.

The fifteenth mech suggested tiny cages everywhere but...

"Too expensive," The mayor dismissed the fifteenth guy, "I'm already offering a handsome reward to the mech that kills the rats. I can't afford all those cages! What am I, made of credits?"

And so it was that one by one the potential exterminators were sent away. The mayor sat in his chair and sighed, fearing the town would be forced to suffer this rat problem forever. Then one day, a new mech came to town.

When the mayor's assistant showed the new mech in the mayor wasn't exactly impressed by what he saw. This mech was quiet and painted a dull dark blue and white color. His red visor gave away nothing of his temperment, and neither did his face mask. He also transformed into a music player; not exactly a form that screams 'killer'.

"So, what stupid trap do you propose for this little infestation?" The mayor asked condescendingly; not believing this mech could help him where so many others had failed.

"Designation: Music Mech. Operation: Turbo Rat Removal. Timeframe: 5 joors. Payment of 10,000 shanix is demanded upon removal of turbo rats."

"10,000 shanix?" The mayor almost choked on those words, "Um, that's pretty pricey. I've had better offers come in through the pipeline, if you know what I mean."

"Guarantee: All turbo rats will be removed," The Music Mech assured the mayor; his voice a strangely filtered monotone, "Payment will be made upon removal of turbo rats."

"So...you can get rid of every last rat? I mean every last one?" The mayor asked for clarification.

"Correct," Music Mech replied.

"Well, if you can really do it..." The mayor wheedled, "I mean, we are pretty desperate and all. Oh, alright. If you can keep up your end of the bargain, then I'll pay up. But all the rats have to be gone. Got it?"

"Acknowledged," Music Mech replied dutifully.


The next morning the mayor looked out his window to see that Music Mech was already strolling into town. He wasn't carrying anything, which the mayor found odd. The citizens had heard of the boastful mech that promised them relief from the rats, so there was a small crowd gathered to watch the mech exterminate the vermin. Many wondered what amazing trick he could possibly have in his subspace.

Music Mech looked around, observing the turbo rats. This took several moments, and many began to wonder if he had been bluffing. Then he hit a button on his arm, and suddenly jaunty music was wafting forth from his loudspeakers. He turned up his own volume, and the rats' helms all perked up at the sound. One by one, and then soon by bunches, the rats began to approach the mech. Music Mech had their attention now, so he began to back away; drawing the rats closer.

With the rats in tow Music Mech made his way out of the city gates. An entire swarm of turbo rats followed in Music Mech's wake like a long living shadow. It was eerie, it was awesome, and it was the relief the townspeople had been waiting for.

Over a joor later Music Mech returned, this time with no turbo rats following him, and the crowd cheered for their hero. Music Mech took their praise in stride, neither encouraging nor discouraging their celebration. He didn't care about that. This was business, and there was still the matter of his payment.

When Music Mech went to the mayor to claim his money however, he was greeted with a rather unwelcome response.

"I'm not giving you one credit!" The mayor harrumphed, "I ordered an exterminator, not a DJ! All you did was play music. That ain't a good enough reason to give you 10,000 shanix."

"Designation: Music Mech. What did you expect?" Music Mech asked in his creepy monotone voice.

"I expected more!" The mayor replied crossly, "All you did was drive the rats away! What if they come back, huh? What if you didn't kill them? I didn't see you kill them, now did I?"

"Turbo rats: gone forever," Music Mech replied ominously, "Music Mech will prove that methods are effective. Mark my words: Helex will pay the Music Mech."

With those words Music Mech left the mayor, and the mayor smirked in triumph. No way was this loony going to strong-arm a government official. The mayor wasn't going to give that creep one credit. Little did he realize in that moment however that there is more than one way to pay.


Early the next morning, the sparklings and minicons were playing outside; finally able to escape their dreary houses now that the turbo rats were gone. The streets were once again filled with the laughter of younglings at play.

As the sparklings kicked their cans down the street and minicons played lob ball, suddenly they could hear the faint sound of music in the air. It was a beautiful harmonious tune, the kind that immediately draws the audial of the listener. The sparklings stopped what they were doing and listened. The minicons followed suit, and soon both groups of tiny Cybertronians were following the sound of the sweet melody.

"That music sounds great! Wheelie cannot wait!" One sparkling said with excitement.

"Get lost, twerp!" One of the minicons yelled at him, "You ain't invited to this party!"

With that the minicons pushed the annoying orange sparkling into a ditch, where he could only watch helplessly as the others were lured away toward the sound of the music. He watched as they met up with the mysterious Music Mech, and he watched as they followed him into the Ironside Mountains; where Predacons were rumored to live.

A couple joors later the adults awoke to find that their children and symbiotes were missing. Some wondered if they were just playing beyond the city gates, but the orange child that had been left behind was able to tell them a different tale.

"They went off with Music Mech. On a cool adventurous trek. They followed his song up the mountain trail. Entranced they were by his audial veil. Wheelie wanted to go as well, but instead they pushed me and I fell. Now Wheelie glad I didn't go. They're gone forever, this much I know."

The parents and hosts were horrified by what they were hearing. The mayor had been the one to not pay the Music Mech his due, so off to the mayor's office the angry mob went; ready to smelt him at the stake.

"Wait, smelt me at the stake?" The mayor exclaimed from his office, "That wasn't in the original story. Who wrote this script? Gears, was it you? I see you snickering backstage! I know you did this! Gears!"

With that the mob crashed into the mayor's office, and he transformed into his jeep alt mode and drove away stage left with the mob driving away behind him. The moral of the story, mechs and femmes, is to always pay what you owe. Because one way or another, the Music Mech collects his debts.

The End