Feb 3, 2020

Authors Notes: see bottom

Chapter 2: beau·ty

noun
a combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight.

Here he is: it's his last reaping, his brother's first, and his eyes still instantaneously find her braided crown in the masses. She turns and meets his eyes. They share a gravitational worry.

In a world where Katniss was never reaped: in this world, he will kiss her with patience, and there is still so much desperation, but Gale knows how to wait. This will eventually happen. That's how it's meant to be; the Katniss of the games is changed, abused, no longer meant for his hands. In that world, his hands are also changed, harder, making snares for people instead of animals, not leaving enough time for his soul, his heart to realize that it really is different, that he was wrong when he told Katniss it'd be the same. The Capitol ruins everything its ever touched; there are no exceptions. Tamper with a jigsaw puzzle and it no longer fits together.

This is not that world though. They have both escaped the lottery, and now she hunts and he mines, and one day he kisses her.

There was dirt and branches in her hair, coal dust in his, and he kisses her without warning and with abandon. For once, he's doing something for them, not for their families, and certainly never for the Capitol.

Leaves fall from her hair when his fingers run through. It's rough and sudden, and he wishes her lips were the first he'd ever touched. He'd been young, he tells himself, digging his pickaxe into the coal the next day. He had been so stupid, never seeing someone who was always right in front of him.

After all, she had been twelve, at one time, and people's first perception of someone is usually what sticks, but one day, the eldest Hawthorne child decided to look down—now only seven inches, not a foot—and he saw that she'd grown, grown into an unconventional beauty, she was a girl who turned many heads, but never for any specific reason.

You always notice a girl like Katniss Everdeen, but you never know why.

Peeta, Darius, Cray, Haymitch, they can all attest to that, not all sexually, but they notice her, never not notice her. In the Hob, Darius can't help but touch, grasp her maverick independence, though he never gets far, and Gale's glaring has nothing to do with it: she stops him with her own strength.

Haymitch Abernathy even processes her, through the drunk, sees the fire in her.

Haymitch watches her and Gale, and wants one of them to be his tributes. It's selfish, and he knows that, but for once he wants eyes he can look into when they come home, not a casket.

Gale, honestly, is probably one of the last in the district to see her, and Sae knows it, is aware of the day his eyes opened, aware of his flaring jealously. Aware the exact moment he had become receptive to what he felt. His eyes had dulled to cement, and he irrationally threatened a peacekeeper, and after Katniss reprimanded his aggression towards Darius, the boy stared at his hands, angry and contemplative. Greasy Sae knew exactly what he was debating in his own body. He'd read every page in Katniss Everdeen's book before he'd looked at the cover. Sae was giddy, knew she was likely to win the betting pool.

(The day he looked at the cover is a day he'll forever remember. It's filled with braids, Sae's soup, looking down seven inches, red hair, peacekeeping and a bunch of jealousy. It's a tale that's been told many times.)

And so, the day he kissed her was one of the best days of his life. The snow had been melting and the flowers were growing—it's a time of new beginnings, they say.

That day, he gave her all of who he was, all at once. It was the same day she just started giving him pieces of who she wanted to be: they were small pieces, but she'd get there.

She wasn't ready to give him anything more than a kiss of friendship. When he pulled away, he saw it in her eyes. He knew this, told her it was fine. At first he'd been hurt, reasonably so, but then, he remembered what his mother had said, the pink sting on his hand.

He did not expect anything from her: he had no right to. He still felt his heart closing though, stitching it's damages, so he pulled back, receded away from her.

He heard his mother in his mind, "childish, unfair, unreasonable." Guilt followed him, for backing off so harshly. He saw her eyes when he pulled away, hazy, and curious, but ultimately scared.

He reassured her, said nothing would changed. They were fine, and she nodded, pretending it didn't happen.

Everything changed, his soul was on the other side of the forest even if his body was here, beside her.

He refused to let himself believe she felt the same as him anymore, wouldn't let his mind take a glance and turn it into a love story. With every contact, his hand pulled away first. When her eyes questioned him and her arms crossed her chest with inquiries, his resolve faltered, and he felt an explanation was in order: he never gave one.

Even when she initiated contact, he always pulled away first: guilt followed him like her eyes.

Then, he realized he hadn't actually pulled back all that much. This is what friendship is supposed to be, very little touching, lots of talking. Friends aren't supposed to hold each other like they used to, so Gale realized that this was better. This was not misleading, for either of them, and they were friends.

Friends.

Friends is fine, he tells himself.

———

Last chapter, I completely forgot to do an author's notes lol. Yeah, this story isn't over, sorry to disappoint. I'm pretty sure there's going to be 4 total chapters.

So hey there! Thanks for getting this far. I know I ship the unusual ship here, but I don't care. Voice criticisms if you'd like or just tell me about your day.

I've been writing this for a while and it's actually completed. I love this ship so much and I love to write. Have a good day!

rebecca-in-blue: thank you so much for leaving such an in-depth review. I worked really hard on this so your compliments meant a lot. I'm glad you liked Mrs. Hawthorne, cuz I tried really hard to keep it from being preachy and not force my own values on the characters lol. The development of Gale's view on Katniss has a big role in this story for me so thanks for noticing it lol.

Ellenka: You actually have no idea how much your review meant to me. That sounds very creepy lol, but what I mean is that you were one of the authors on this site that inspired me to actually post something along these lines. I never post anything haha. I have definitely read all your THG fics. That's even creepier, I was just surfing and loved your writing style so I read them.