Imogen made it to my house before me, I wasn't surprised. I walked into my room, and she already had a piece of pizza in her mouth. When she saw me she dropped the pizza back into the box and ginned, "Eli! What took you so long!" I stared at her, not able to speak. Could I be so broken that I couldn't even pretend that I was ok anymore? My jaw was clenched tight, and I was shaking. Imogen frowned and walked over to me, putting her hand on my shoulder. "Eli, it's ok." She didn't have to ask me what was wrong. That was the great part about having her for a friend, she always knew what was going on with me, even when I sometimes didn't. She pulled me into a hug, and I began to cry. She patted my back, and sighed. "Eli, tell me what happened." I hysterically choked out my words.
"She hates me! She hates me, and I hate myself. The one good thing I ever had, and it's gone Imogen. It's...It's just gone." Imogen pulled away from me, and walked me to my bed. "I can't sleep, I cant think, I can't eat, I can't breathe Imogen." She sat beside me, and set her head on my shoulder.
"Eli, it isn't all bad. Look on the bright side of things." I stood up in front of her and put my hands on both sides of my head, what was with everyone today?
"How can you say that? All I have heard today Is how lucky I am, what do I have to be happy about? The love of my life is having a kid with the biggest idiot jock I have ever met, and everyone wants me to be happy? What the hell Imog-"
"Eli. Shut up. That baby is yours."
I dropped my hands back down to my sides, and my eyes grew wide. "What? Why are you saying this Imogen? Explain now."
"Well you see everyone has been talking about it, Clare made an oooopsy. She didn't know how far along she was, she found out she was too far along for it to be Drew's. Then when Clare found out she didn't tell Drew right away, when he found out from Dallas he got super pissed, and went off on her in front of everyone. She cries everyday at school, the gossip has got pretty bad. Anyways, so I thought you would of heard by now." I had to hold onto my wall for support, that baby was mine? Clare's, and mine? "Well, congratulations!" Imogen threw her hands in the air, and smiled wide at me.
"Then why were you comforting me, what did you think was wrong?"
"Oh well you know Clare's leaving good ol' Canada and all, I thought that might have put a damper on your day."
My face twisted in confusion again, I couldn't handle all these curve balls. I was becoming erratic. "Leaving? Imogen where? Why!"
"I dunno why, she isn't really my friend. You know the whole "screw over my best bud thing" kind of makes things awkward between us." I was grateful for the information but Imogen was always so nonchalant about things, and she often didn't get to the point very fast. I had to get to the bottom of things.
"Imogen! This is serious! Please." My eyes were full of desperation.
"I'm sorry Eli. All I know is she's moving to New York today, I know nothing else." Her voice was small.
"It's ok, I'm sorry I yelled at you. I just don't understand, why wouldn't she just tell me? Why would she go to New York without saying anything, she knows it would have changed everything!" I was tugging at my hair with my hands, trying to understand, when it hit me. She did, she tried to tell me. The thing she said would "fix everything" was that, that I'm the father. Instead of listening, I called her a whore, I made her cry. Today, the reason she was crying...what Drew was saying. It all added up, I was just so stupid. "Imogen, I need your help. Can you help me?"
"Anything Eli Goldsworthy, I am at your service." She saluted me, and made a serious face.
"I need you to help me buy a plane ticket, I have to go to New York. I have to find her, and our baby. I promise, I'll pay you back."
Imogen smiled and pulled out her credit card, "Don't worry about it, go get the girl Eli."
I threw my arms around her, "Thank you Imogen. This means the world to me, you're the best friend a guy could ask for. And I will pay you back."
Imogen pulled away from me and wiped a tear from her cheek, "Well go on you big goof, you're wasting time!" I nodded and ran out, I had to get to Clare. I didn't know her mindset, she probably felt so alone. It was all my fault, the biggest mistake I ever made was giving up on us. Weather or not the baby had turned out to be mine, I shouldn't have ever pushed Clare away like that. I had to make her see that I wanted her, I wanted them. I pulled my phone out to call her, and it went straight to voice mail. I had no idea where she was staying, or who she was with. I didn't feel like I had a right, but I had no choice, I called Drew. To my surprise, he answered.
"Hello, Drew?"
"What Eli, what?" He sounded frustrated.
"Drew I didn't know, I didn't know the baby was mine today when I talked to you at the school. I feel terrible asking this of you, but do you know why Clare went to New York? Do you know where she's staying? Anything would help me, please. I'm desperate." Drew sighed on the other end, and then there was a pause. I almost thought he hung up. "Drew? Hello?"
"I'm here. Eli, I thought you knew. Clare is in a dark place, I'm partly to blame. I've been very cruel to her this last week. Today we had it out again, and she blurted out something about adoption. As far as where she's staying, I can't help you there. I'm sorry Eli."
It felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. Adoption, would Clare really give our baby away? Had I made her feel like that was really her only option? "No, no. It's alright, thanks."
"Well if that's all, I guess Ill let you go. Good luck."
"No! Wait, I just want to say I'm sorry for today. I'm sorry for punching you and everything else, I can't say I'm not happy it's my baby...but I'm sorry you thought it was yours for all this time. I want you to know Clare wouldn't have done this on purpose."
"Well, it is what it is. At least now we can close the door on this mess. Bye Eli." Drew hung up the phone as I pulled up to the air port. Come hell or high water I was going to find Clare. I was going to make her understand that adoption is not the answer. Giving up on us, it was never the answer.
