Hiccup apparently did not wake up when his father peaked in to check on him periodically throughout the night. At one point, Mr. Vast pulled the comforter over his son's torso, turned off the light, and moved his phone to it's cable charger on the nightstand. Before he left the room, he turned off all of Hiccup's alarms on his phone. He figured Hiccup waking up on his own accord verses the blare of the phone would be best. He was considering keeping Hiccup home from school again if he didn't get a decent night of rest.
He realized he was treating Hiccup much like a broken piece of stained glass art, trying to save it from completely shattering into multiple pieces. He'd been treating him like this since he'd fallen and had spent over a week in the hospital. The kid couldn't catch a break anymore.
It occurred to Mr. Vast that he was treating Hiccup much like he'd treated Valka all those years ago. Hovering, watching every move that was made, monitoring the good days and bad days.
Valka would send him out the door to work and try to fight through her mental shutdowns on her own - but always struggled. Some days she would be awake and oblivious to Hiccup crying, or she would be asleep on the couch or their bedroom at four, five, six o'clock in the evening. If she had woken up to do anything for herself or for Hiccup throughout the day, Stoick couldn't have been able to tell.
The first few times Stoick didn't think about it much. Especially when it was obvious Valka had been dealing with adjusting to being at home permanently.
After hiring Rhonda he tried to stay at home more. He would let her handle the phone calls in the office and he would spend his afternoons the following day trying to play catch up with clients. The mornings seemed to have been the worst for Valka. She would just be getting Hiccup out of bed, and right when she was trying to feed him or change him Stoick would have been walking out the front door.
So, he tried to stay behind those early mornings. He was trying to help her adjust. Just because he was working and Valka was staying home to take care of the home and their child didn't mean that he couldn't keep helping her when he could. He didn't want her to feel alone.
Eventually, six months after hiring RHonda, he had to hire Benjamin into the firm. He was fresh out of law school but he became a sort of apprentice to him. He learned under Stoick and he was able to take on tasks that Stoick didn't have time to do himself. Hiring Benjamin was a blessing - for the first three months. Then, work started to pick up again - which was both a blessing and a curse. More money, more working hours. Less time to help Valka and be there for his little family.
Before Mr. Vast knew it, he was sinking. And fast. He was trying to manage home life with Valka and Hiccup, and manage his firm that was growing. He considered asking Valka to come help answer phones part-time to get her out of the house. But, he didn't want to do that to her. The firm was his baby after all. He would manage.
Then the day came when Valka had left the house without Hiccup. She had gone to the grocery store to gather items for dinner. Stoick had arrived home to find Hiccup in his crib, thankfully still asleep, and no Valka anywhere. He called her on her cell phone after he went through a moment of panic. She sounded chipper and talkative. She had been excited to make them beef stew for dinner.
"Val - Hiccup was at home alone…." Stoick said to her.
Instantly, Valka fell into a crying fit on the phone. Thankfully when he explained he was home with Hiccup and that he was fine did she calm down a little bit.
This was when Stoick felt the need to keep a much closer eye on his wife. When she said that she had actually forgotten he was home and asleep, he kind of understood how she could go about her time, and perhaps relapse into the newly wed stage. Without a child at her feet, she could go about her day making preparations for their dinner, go shopping without a screaming child, and do what once was before Hiccup had been born.
It was at this point that their marriage started to collapse, and Valka's mental health started to deteriorate. She was becoming forgetful, and would sleep more and more. Eventually, Stoick hired a babysitter for Hiccup twice a week hoping it would give his wife some time to herself to clean, read a book, or go do something without having to worry about Hiccup.
"You need some time to yourself," he told her when he informed her of the plans. "I understand that."
For almost two years their marriage was touch and go. Stoick felt as though he had been walking on eggshells with her. He loved her, he loved that she was his son's mother. He'd loved her since they were fourteen and hadn't looked back since then.
The day came when Valka called him from the mental health facility parking lot. She had dropped Hiccup off at the babysitters and had called Stoick crying from the car. She informed him that she was checking herself in.
"I woke up today and realized I'd hit rock bottom."
It wasn't two weeks later they had been arguing on their front porch. More then three police cruisers had responded to the scene. Four of the six officers knew him simply by helping them with their wills, representing someone the officers had arrested for DUI or assault, or simply helping them write their wills.
Hiccup had been distracted while they argued verbally. They both wept together on the steps. He'd begged her to stay - or to allow him to drive her back to the mental health facility.
Instead, he gave up. Valka was wanting to leave. She was wanting to escape. She had wanted to take Hiccup with her and there was only one reason she had wanted to -
"What mother leaves her son?" She had said to Stoick.
He had responded back. "You do. To keep him safe."
He asked her to leave if she wouldn't accept the help she needed. And, when she freely left - he let her. He asked her to check in with him or call him if she needed any type of help. Someone to talk to, more money to get her by. She called rarely. When she did call it was a relief to him. He wanted to know she was all right.
Thinking she would come back one day soon and just be - okay. Or, realize she couldn't do it on her own. That she needed Stoick to take her hand and lead her down the correct path. He had tried to that day on the porch. But, he knew that he couldn't force her. He would be there when she was ready to come home...
It was a year later he decided that he needed to stop waiting for her and start fully living again. Even if he wasn't seeing anyone or dating anyone. He felt guilty over the several months prior for helping other women with their divorces - some he'd actually gone to school with. Most of them knew that Valka had mentally lost herself. He had still worn the wedding band that whole time.
It took him a long time to track her down. She had ended up in Georgia working at a diner, renting a small one bedroom apartment. When she was in Florida she had stayed with a distant cousin on her mother's side - the closet thing she had ever had to family since both her parents had passed away.
When he caught up with her in New York, he found out she was a managing a grocery store and doing decent for herself. She'd taken herself back to school, had found a nice two bedroom home to rent and was even starting to see someone.
This had hurt him. He was glad that she had collected herself - he'd just wished she had done this and come back home.
She wanted to know how Hiccup was, and Stoick relayed very little to her. Not because he didn't want to tell her - but because he really didn't know his son. Outside of Hiccup asking for sketching materials, and the fact that he enjoyed hiking and was a really good student - he didn't know how Hiccup was really feeling. Valka became short tempered with him following this conversation.
And he replied, "You aren't here. If you were here you could get to know him yourself. If you aren't going to be here for Hiccup, then let's get this over with."
So, Valka returned on a paid plane ticket to finalize the dissolution. If she hadn't the court would have proceeded without her present. She agreed to all of Stoick's conditions. She hadn't fully read what they were - and at the time she didn't really care what he wanted. She knew he wanted her name off of the house. She had known he didn't want her to pay child support - instead he would be paying her a very small amount to help support herself. He would not provide her health insurance, continue making her car payments for her, etc. etc.
In court when the judge read off that Valka had visitation rights - she'd whimpered. Outside once it was over, she had caught him outside before he was able to get into his car. She asked him why he'd offered her the right to visit him.
"He's still your son. And, you still deserve to see him."
With that he had walked away.
Valka only called him one other time, a few months following the official separation. Stoick had declined her call because he was knee-deep in a meeting with a client. He hadn't called her back - and she never called him back.
Now, here he was eight years following their divorce dealing with her wanting to see Hiccup. In all honesty, he was shocked that she had gone directly through the courts and not Stoick himself.
His anger management issues came on shortly after their divorce. He'd done his best to hold it together with Hiccup. As his business grew, his mind became so focused on taking care of work and clients, and providing for his son.
He was a provider most of all. Yes, he was a father - but he had been absent from Hiccup's life so much. He'd missed track and cross country meets more times than he was there. And, when he was, he wasn't completely there. He was busy texting his employees or talking to some of his more seasoned clients. Hiccup knew these things - but rarely did the kid grow angry or frustrated with him.
Hiccup carried a lot of weight on his shoulders, and Stoick knew this. Only when Hiccup had gone through the changes he'd been through with the accident did Stoick really step in. And, even then he knew he wasn't consistent like he should have been.
Now, Hiccup was facing this mental struggle with Valka. There wouldn't have been any hiding it from him. Stoick would of had to tell him at some point. Stoick had spent the better part of five days mauling his thoughts and feelings over before he told Hiccup. Mentally and physically he too was exhausted.
He wasn't going to sleep well again that night. In fact, he'd gotten out of bed four times by two in the morning to check on Hiccup. Each time, he could see his son had changed positions. He wasn't sleeping well. And, when Hiccup was stressed he often regressed back into having night terrors. It had been a few months since his last one - when he had to deal with a bit of rejection from Astrid's mother plus the school being on top of him for his spotty attendance.
After checking on Hiccup this last time, he'd made himself at home on the living room couch. The living room felt less lonely compared to his bedroom. Katherine couldn't stay - as much as he'd wanted her to. He hadn't asked her but they both knew having the conversation with Hiccup without her around was best.
A very uneasy sleep finally came to him.
…
Hiccup had woken up from a nightmare. But, he'd resisted the urge to call out into the night. His chest heaved as he tried to stop himself from hyperventilating. He could feel the sweat caking his body underneath his clothing.
Half away, he stripped his shirt off and tossed it to the floor, allowing the coolness of the sheets to touch his bare skin. Even though he shook as he laid awake, his panic was dying. He couldn't explain why but it was.
Feeling more alert, he turned over and glanced at the digital clock on his desk. It was just after three in the morning. He sighed with relief. Another two hours of steady sleep would have been nice. Although, he knew it would be a restless slumber.
He heard footsteps in the hallway. Great, his father was up. And most likely coming to check on him.
The door creeped open slightly, and he could feel the tall shadow of his father looking in on him.
It wasn't a moment later, he let himself come clean. He sat up in bed so his father knew he was awake.
"You all right?" Hiccup asked him.
"I - I am. I was wondering the same thing about you."
Hiccup rested himself against his pillows and awaited his father to join him on the bed. Sure enough, his father did, and reached to turn on the side lamp so that they could see each other better.
Mr. Vast was studying him intently. Hiccup wasn't used to his - still. Over the last several months his father hovered around him when he was having a "bad day." Even on his bad days, if his father was distracted with a case, Hiccup managed to get through.
That was what he did when his father was absent most of the time.
The nightmares were the worst part of it all. Usually his nightmares came with a phantom pain - which currently he was relieved that it hadn't. When this happened, he wanted his dad.
At a few points during his early stages of recovery, when he'd been dealing with the pain and the unknown - he wished he'd had a mother there with him. His father was there - able to comfort him the best he could. But, Hiccup wondered if he'd been able to cry without guilt if his mother had been there. He'd forced himself to stay as strong as he could simply because that was the persona of his father.
And he wanted to make his father proud of him.
"Dad - " Hiccup broke the silence.
"Yes?"
"I - I honestly don't remember what my mother looked like."
His father seemed alarmed. "Really?"
"It's not like we have her photographs hanging up anymore. Or, a family picture. I mean - I can't even remember the sound of her voice - "
Mr. Vast paused.
"Do you remember anything about her?"
Hiccup strained his memory to come up with something...anything. Anything was better than nothing.
"I remember you bringing her daisies once."
Surprisingly, his father smiled ever so slightly.
"Gerber daisies, actually. She had seen them in a catalog before we were married and wanted them in our wedding. Although, she settled on white roses instead because the florists in town couldn't find them anywhere."
Hiccup watched his father mull a little bit over thoughts of the past.
"She liked pasta, preferred vegetables over meat. She loved that toothless cat, too."
Hiccup sighed. "I think that's all I have of her. And, I don't even know if that means anything."
"Do you want something of her's?" Mr. Vast asked. "Hiccup - if you've been wanting something - I'm sorry, I - "
"No! No, Dad! That's not what I meant." Hiccup breathed out a sigh. "I'm just trying to sort through this in my own head. Part of me wonders if she'd be proud of me - or ashamed - "
"How could she not be proud of you, Hiccup?" His father's voice sounded agasped, and even angry.
"Well, I never really did well at sports, so I ran and -"
"You remember that place up on the hill at the park, right?" Mr. Vast said. "Hiccup, she loved, and I mean loved to hike. You both share that."
Hiccup gave his father a weak smile.
"Dad, can I ask you a personal question?"
"Of course!"
It took Hiccup a moment to consider how he wanted to phrase his question. There really was no way around it - or no simpler way to put it.
"What does Katherine think of all of this?"
The question surprised him.
"Katherine - well. She's worried about us both. She knew this would take a toll on you mentally."
"Is she worried you'll have a heart attack like I am?"
Mr. Vast laughed slightly. "No, Hiccup. She's more so worried that for a brief period of time - I may lose you."
The last four words hit Hiccup in the chest. He hadn't thought about his mother taking him from his father - even for the remaining six months before he'd come of age.
"Don't worry about that, Hiccup. Courts take your side and wants into consideration. That is - if you choose to speak in court."
The look on Hiccup's face when he said this must have alarmed his father just as much as the words alarmed him.
"Easy, there. You just stop worrying about this, okay? Let me handle the courts." He placed a hand on Hiccup's shoulder. "Trust me, Hiccup. Let me handle it."
Without warning, Hiccup leaned forward into his father's chest. A sudden overwhelming panic filled him and began to consume him. His breath caught and he struggled to catch it in a few gasps of air. Feeling his father's arms wrap around him, he tried to focus on the warmth and the touch to remind him he wasn't alone.
"Did you take your medication today?"
Hiccup nodded. He hadn't forgotten to.
"Okay," he replied. "I just wondered."
A moment passed by.
"Dad," Hiccup said into his father's chest.
"Yes?"
"Is Katherine okay? Is she worried what may come of this?"
"Of course she is. Why do you keep asking about Katherine?"
Hiccup swallowed. "Because she's been more of a mom to me in the last several months. And, I don't want her to get hurt."
"Oh, son, she will be fine." He felt his father's arms squeeze him a little bit more.
Minutes trickled by, and eventually his father pushed him back against his pillows. "You are still sweating like mad."
"I'll be okay. Just emotional is all."
Mr. Vast sighed. "How about a change of clothes and a cup of warm tea with honey?"
"Dad, its four in the morning - "
"Hasn't stopped us before, has it?"
Hiccup laughed. "No, no I guess it hasn't."
