"Why is he calling?" In truth I wasn't mad, It wasn't her fault he was calling, so I kept my voice calm.
"Eli I don't know, honestly."
With the flash light on my phone I could see that Clare was scared, scared that I was going to fly off the handle again. I couldn't let her feel that way anymore, or else I would ruin everything again. "It's ok Clare, answer. I trust you."
She kissed me on the cheek, "Thank you Eli. I love you." She took the phone from my hand hesitantly and answered, putting it on speaker, I assume as a sign that she had nothing to hide. I appreciated it. "Hello Zig. Is there something you need?" Her voice was awkward and shaky, I could tell she was nervous, I just couldn't put my finger on why.
"This wont take long Clare. Since you've moved back to Toronto I've permanently left New York, there's obviously no need for me to have any ties there." He sounded depressed, I was sensing that he took the relationship more serious than Clare had.
"I don't see why you're calling me about this Zig, it isn't my business anymore." Her voice was matter of fact, and a bit cold.
"It isn't just about me being back in Canada Clare, It's about Adam." I had been keeping my cool the whole time, but hearing him say my son's name made it hard not to grab the phone and lose control. "What about him Zig? He's fine."
"Clare I want to see him. I have every right to see him. Please."
"No, no you don't. You are not his dad Zig!" Clare's eyes averted away from me, and her tone became harsh.
"Not his dad? I have been his father in every single way that counts Clare! I raised Adam, it isn't right to keep us apart. I know he misses me too, don't take my son from me." It sounded like Zig was crying, and I almost felt sorry for him, I knew the exact way he was feeling.
"Eli is his father, you aren't Zig. You have to let go, and move on. You have no rights, Adam's last name is Goldsworthy."
"Eli doesn't even know him, you have to get over your obsession with that guy Clare! You were high school sweethearts, the whole world knows, but life has gone on since then. We raised a great kid, and we had so many great family memories together. Eli hasn't been apart of any of that." My sympathy started to slip away, and I wanted to punch him in the face, but I couldn't lose my cool, I just couldn't let myself get like that anymore.
"Adam does know his father!"
"A stupid letter isn't knowing him!"
"They met Zig, Eli is going to be the dad I should of always let him be. Please if you love Adam let him know his dad, his real dad. Don't make this harder than it already is on him."
There was a silence for a few moments before he spoke again, "Wow Clare, you move fast. So what, just like that you're back together with him? Like I never meant anything! Was I always a replacement for the Great Eli Goldsworthy? You're ripping my h-h-heart out Edwards!" Zig was full on balling, and Clare was crying herself. I just wanted her to be happy, and Adam. They came before my own personal wants and needs now. I grabbed the phone from Clare and her eyes became panicked as she mouthed "no" repeatedly. My intentions were truly good, and I hoped that she would know that when I was through.
"Hello Zig, It's Eli."
"What the fuck, are you serious? Get the hell off the phone I have nothing to say to you. I don't want to hear how I have to stay away from the kid I raised!"
"That isn't what I was going to say at all, actually. I would like a few day's to get to know my son better without anyone else intruding on our time, but if it's ok with Clare, maybe we can set some kind of meeting up. I want to personally thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking care of him, I wish I could of been there. Anyways, that's besides the point, I'm here now. I hope you can accept that Zig." I could see Clare's eyes become hopeful, she was happy, I was making her happy. That was all I wanted, but at the same time it was killing me to be saying the things I was saying. I didn't want Zig around him, Adam was mine. Zig also used to be involved with gangs, but Clare had trusted him, so I would try to too.
"That's mighty big of you Goldsworthy, to give me permission to see the child I raised." Zig's words were rough, he was angry, and part of me got it.
"I get how you feel, but this is the way things are now. Clare and I will call you back when we are ready to set up a time." I hung up the phone before he could go on, if I heard another word about how Adam was his, I knew I'd change my mind. I set the phone down and looked at Clare, I couldn't tell if she was angry or not, I hoped not. "Clare, say something. I'm sorry if I crossed the line, I didn't mean to." She threw her arms around my neck, and I knew I had done the right thing.
"Eli I love you. Thank you so much, I know that must have been hard for you."
My voice was soft, and it just hit me how hard it really had been to do that. "I wont lie it was, but if Adam wants to see him, Adam should be able to."
"Still, you're probably upset with me Eli, I know you." I pulled Clare off of me, and grabbed her hand. I started walking her back to the bedroom, when we reached the room I set her down on the bed. I sat next to her, and looking into her eyes I couldn't help but chuckle. "What's so funny?"
"Nothing's funny I'm just happy Clare. I agree, you know me, but I am so happy that not even Zig can change that. Why should I be mad? You are sitting next to me, and Adam is in the next room over. I have nothing in the world to complain about. All I could ever want is in front of me, and I intend to do everything in my power to keep it that way." Clare stood up from the bed, and began walking to the other side. When she reached the other side she slipped under the covers patting the spot next to her for me to join.
"This is our bed now, our home, our life." I slipped under the covers beside her pulling her into my arms, this was everything that mattered. "For one night Eli, I don't want to worry about anyone else. Not Lenore, and not Zig. I want to pretend that you drive a hearse, that I wear a purity ring, that we're still those kids. Those kids who fell In love so deep, those kids without anything stopping them from being together."
"Ah, before everything got complicated, when I couldn't keep a clean room, and the worst thing you had ever done was get matching piercing's with me. So much has changed since then, I agree, but one thing is the same, us. Those were some of the happiest days of my life Clare, but I don't want to look back anymore. I want to live in this moment right here, right now. Besides, the old Clare would have never let me stay the night." I chuckled, and she pinched my arm.
Clare's tone was filled with embarrassment, "Shut up! I was a good girl Elijah."
"You have changed a lot, but you're still a good girl. The same good girl I fell in love with, the same one I'll always love." I tightened my arms around her resting my chin on the top of her head.
She sighed, "You know, you've changed a lot since we first met too Eli."
"I know, no more eye liner, less black, and a lack of a hearse."
"No. You are so much braver, so much more level headed. You made your dreams come true, I'm so proud of you. For everything."
"In the back of my mind it was always me tying to prove to you that I could do it, that I wasn't a hot head who would inevitably screw up. Despite your absence, you are still the reason for everything good in my life Clare Edwards."
Clare tilted her head up to look at me, "Eli I love you."
I kissed her forehead, "I love you too, always and forever, don't you ever forget it."
"It's unreal, everything I ever wanted is coming true. I never thought I'd be in your arms like this again."
"Believe it, because we have the rest of our lives to spend together."
"Next step, wedding planning?"
I smiled, "Absolutely."
Sooo, I totally want your opinions. Do you guy's think Zig has a right to see Adam, or nah? I'm a little torn on what I want to do with that situation. Let me know please. I have everything else in my head situated, as far as what I have planned for this story, but just not this one part. Smh.
