18+

XIV

I tell myself not to go.

I tell myself it's a bad idea.

And then I'm sitting in his car, his hand running up my thigh as we drive to his house.

We don't speak, but the silence isn't awkward.

It's thick, heady, intoxicating.

The air is full of unspoken words and feverish thoughts.

The leather of his car seats sticks to my thighs, pliant and stiff, rough and smooth.

He drives with the casual demeanour of someone who doesn't concern himself with the road, but his body is tense, his leg vibrating slightly with energy that might be anxious or just infused with desire.

The weight of what we're doing lies heavy across my breast.

It's not uncomfortable, though I know it should be, the weight feels good, like it's pressing me down into the seat, holding me in place so I can't get out the car.

Not that I want to.

I sit still, breathing in the unique scent that clings to him and affects me like an aphrodisiac, revelling in the feeling of his large hand on my thigh.

His bare skin against mine is scorching, heat licks down my thigh and gathers between my legs, the material of the back of my dress damp from his cum.

Our breath fills the silence, heady and fast.

When we stop at lights, we turn to face each other and Edward's mouth crashes to mine for a brief second, his slick tongue in my mouth as I grip his hair roughly.

He pulls back hastily as someone beeps behind us and I shift in my seat, the ache between my legs now uncomfortable.

He's my addiction and I'm off the wagon.

Succumbing feels good, the abandonment of self control both terrifying and liberating.

When we enter the foyer of his gigantic house, I stare up at the crystal chandelier with wide eyes.

High ceilings mark this as a foyer, a large stair case climbing at either side like something from a movie, the railing gleams with brass.

The decadence is unsettling.

Maybe because I know what it costs.

I have to tell him that I know.

Does he even know?

'Cliché, isn't it.' Edward comments, rolling his eyes, perhaps mistaking my silence for disdain.

I meet his gaze and he smiles humourlessly. 'Appearances are everything.'

It's an intriguing statement and I slot the puzzle piece alongside the others he has carelessly let fall from his pocket.

The picture forms but it has no edges.

We walk up the stairs, me trailing behind him, unable to tear my gaze from his tight ass in those jeans.

His cheeks flex as he steps and hunger builds in my belly.

I almost walk into him when he stops abruptly and my hand touches his lower back to steady myself.

His body stiffens and he takes in a sharp breath.

I drop my forehead to his back with a smile, pleased that he's as affected by me as I am by him.

I note with amusement I hadn't even realised we weren't still walking upstairs.

'So this is my room.' He says, his tone strange, like he's nervous.

He darts sideways.

I follow him into the space.

It's white, black, wood. Stiff and modern.

Gold trophies and medals adorn a shelf at the back, the only flash of colour in the swathe of grayscale.

The bed sits demurely in the centre, perfectly made, not a crease in sight.

I search for small pieces of him but come up short, there's nothing here but an empty shell.

I turn to look at him and he runs a hand through his hair.

'It's not really…you.' I comment, meeting his eyes.

He arches an eyebrow in surprise and then smiles widely, a beautiful smile that reaches all the way up into his eyes. 'What would make it me.'

I stare at him cautiously, seeing past the playful tone.

He wants to know if I know him.

I consider not answering, aware that I'm swimming into treacherous waters.

I'm out of my depth and without a life jacket.

I walk to the trophies and run my finger across the shelf.

'I don't think these would be here.' I say softly, not glancing back at him. 'They'd be photos of your friends, the music that you like, clutter.'

I walk over to his desk and make a face at the photo of him and her. His arms are wrapped around her from behind and she's grinning.

'I don't know your favorite colour.' I admit, 'But I don't think it's grey.'

'What else?' Edward murmurs. I can feel the heat of his body against my back as he steps towards me and I shiver, my eyes fighting to stay open.

Want forms tendrils that wrap around my limbs, urging me backwards into his touch.

'About the room?' I ask him, staring down at my hands.

'No.' His breath is warm against my neck. 'About me.'

Fight or flight.

'You hate bananas.' I say softly. 'You drink Pepsi like an addict. You don't want to play football but you do it anyway, maybe it's your dad's dream? Maybe it's to make him proud. Jackson is your best friend, even though everyone thinks it's Corey. People think you're arrogant but you're just constantly in your own head and you don't realise the people around you sometimes. You get top grades and everyone thinks it's effortless but you work really hard, and you study in the library at break sometimes. You run your hands through your hair when you're stressed. You d-'

His lips on the back of my neck make me stop and I bite back a moan.

'You know a lot.' He says huskily into my skin.

His voice is throaty and filled with something that makes me feel like I'm standing in front of a tidal wave, the water looms, a dark and writhing mass, self preservation tells me to run even though it's futile.

'I…pay attention.' I admit, tilting my neck to allow his mouth to cover more of my skin.

He steps forward so his body presses deliciously into the back of mine and his low groan reverberates into my chest.

His arousal sits in between my ass cheeks, thick and hard.

I fight against my desire to spin and devour.

I need to tell him.

I can't get distracted.

'I watch you too.' He murmurs, his arms sliding around my torso and holding me against him, his words drip like honey, thick and slippery, sweet and syrup.

'I know a lot about you Isabella Swan.'

'Like what?' I find myself asking, curious and terrified to hear his response.

'You always arrive at school 10 minutes early, so you can sneak in a cigarette behind the gym. Your hair always tells your mood. If it's up your angry, when it's down and straight your in a good mood, when it's down and wavy you're sad about something. You never eat lunch but you snack compulsively at all opportunities. You love your friends, but you don't trust them, you don't trust anyone. You're intelligent, but you keep it under wraps, like you're afraid to be seen as smart. You're b-'

'Stop.' I breathe, unable to hear anymore.

He acquiesces but his soft exhale betrays his puzzlement.

'Why were you avoiding me?' He asks after a moment, his hands tightening around my body. 'Why are you so afraid of this?'

I spin in his arms. 'Aren't you?'

I stare at his beautiful face in the soft light.

We're alone.

I have to tell him.

But when I do it's over.

I can't do it.

Not yet.

I need this last night with him.

I step into his arms, my skin tingling as his green eyes darken, fire flickering in the depths.

I lean into his body, my hard nipples brushing his firm chest as I skim my mouth along his jaw.

'I believe you said something about making me scream your name.' I murmur throatily in his ear.

Immediately his hands go to my ass and our mouths clash together, hot, wet, ecstasy, Edward.

His tongue presses against mine and I devour him sinfully.

I want his spit in my mouth, his hands all over my body.

I want to suck his cock and ride him so hard he whimpers.

I need to hear him groan my name, need to hear him let go without fear of being heard.

He picks me up by the thighs easily and I rub myself against his cock as I feel it press into my stomach.

We're moving but I don't stop.

I gasp into his mouth as I feel cool marble under my ass and he breaks the kiss as his warm hands pull my dress off my body.

I stare up at him, biting my lip at the look his dark eyes.

Fuck me.

Take me.

Ruin me.

I'm yours.

I glance at my surroundings and realise we're in his bathroom and I'm sitting on the counter.

'Well this is familiar.' I tease, hooking my legs around his ass and pulling him into my body.

Edward grins at me, and kisses up my jaw. 'The only difference…' he whispers huskily in my ear. 'Is that now I can fuck you in my shower.'

Any humour is suddenly gone, replaced by a deep burning need that lights up my entire body.

'Edwar-' I don't finish his name, his mouth crashing to mine with a fiery intensity that makes me feel like I'm being burnt alive from the inside out.

I think I rip his shirt in my desperation as I tear it over his head, flinging his belt at the wall so hard it makes a loud crack.

He pulls back from me, his eyes black with desire and steps into the shower.

It's a huge black rectangle, with a long similarly shaped waterfall shower head and a shelf at the back made of grey stone.

He turns on the water and my body trembles at the thought of feeling his slick skin against mine.

I pull myself off the counter and push him against the wall of the shower, not caring that his clothes are getting wet. He lets out a deep groan as I crash my mouth to his, tugging his jeans and underwear down his legs roughly, his cock brushing my stomach as it protrudes thickly from between his legs.

I drop to my knees in front of him and whimper as his thick cock brushes my cheek.

It's so warm and heavy, silk against my skin.

I feel drunk with power as I stare up at him, his expression feral as he watches me.

I run my hands up his thighs, heat pooling between my legs at the feel of his hard muscles under his wet skin.

I need this.

'Fuck Bella.' Edward groans, tilting his head back.

He looks fucking delicious wet, his hair dark and slicked back, droplets running down his cheeks.

I wrap my hand around his thick length and look up at him, waiting for his eyes to meet mine.

The water runs down my body in thick rivulets, the heat and pressure pleasant against my skin.

I stroke my thumb across the head of him, licking my lips as he bucks his hips forward.

His cock is fucking beautiful, thick and long, the head swollen and red with arousal.

He's dripping with pre-cum, glistening with desire.

My lower stomach aches.

His thick cock twitches and I shudder, dragging my gaze from his length to look up at him.

Burning verdant orbs finally meet mine.

I close those final few inches.

Lick the head.

Taste him on my tongue, hear him let out a deep groan.

His hand tangles in my hair and fresh arousal coats my thighs, dripping from my aching center.

'Baby please.' He groans, his big cock straining towards my mouth.

I open my mouth and take him inside, swirling my tongue over his head as I suck him.

'Holy fuck.' Edward spits.

His precum is salty against my tongue and I can taste myself too, something that makes me throb with want.

'Fuck baby.' Edward grunts. 'So fucking hot.'

His mouth falls open in pleasure, his eyes dark and burning as they watch me.

He's fucking gorgeous like this. My whole body aches with need for him, to touch him, make him cum.

I take him deeper, my lips brushing the base of his cock for a brief moment before I pull back, swallowing around him.

He throws his head back with a guttural sound in his throat.

'God yes baby, just like that, take my cock.'

He grips my head tighter and I moan around him, my throat constricting.

'Bella.' He pants, rocking his hips to fuck my mouth. 'Fuck. That's so fucking good baby but I need to cum inside you.'

I whimper at his words, looking up at him under my eyelashes and his eyes roll back in his head. 'Fuck you love it when I cum inside you don't you baby? You love it when I coat every inch of that pussy in my cum.'

The sound I make is close to a cry and it's my turn to rock my hips, though the action is fruitless. I have no friction.

His hand tightens in my hair as he encourages me up and it's so fucking hot that he's controlling me like this.

I release him with a pop and he grips my throat as I get to my feet, slamming me into the wall with a muted thud, his mouth crashing into mine, hot and wet.

'I need you.' I say against his lips, my hands scratching down his strong back.

He picks me up by the thighs, aligning our bodies together and I whimper as I feel him thick and hard at my slick opening.

A throaty moan slips from my open mouth as I feel the blunt head of his cock, part my wet lips.

I open up for him easily, this is what we do, what we were made to do together.

He slowly slides inside, stretching me wide.

I tremble.

Every inch of him fits perfectly inside of me.

'Mmm fuck.' He groans, his head tilting back in pleasure, green eyes dark and half lidded as they survey mine.

'So fucking good.' I moan.

He kisses down my neck as I squeeze my thighs around his lean torso. I whimper as he nips at my collar bone, placing one large hand on my ass, the other bracing against the wall.

He circles his hips a few times, teasingly and then finally draws them back and snaps them forward.

'Fuck.' I cry out, my nails digging into his shoulders as I ride his next thrust, my hips circling as he plunges deep inside of me.

'Jesus Christ.' Edward grunts. ' Fuck.'

He starts fucking me harder, and I realise with a strange mix of shock and lust, that he's been holding out on me.

'Oh my fuck. Edward.'

Our bodies collide with sharp, powerful slaps, the water beating down on us so we slide together.

'God you sound so fucking hot.' He snarls. 'That's it baby, don't hold back. I want to hear you. Always wanted to fuck you like this.'

The drag of him inside of me is so deep and his pelvis rubs against my clit with every snap of his hips.

The pace he sets is brutal, frenzied, and agonisingly good.

We're both groaning loudly.

'Just like that, fuck.' I beg him, rocking my hips in time with his thrusts.

'Who do you belong to?' He snarls in my ear. 'Who's the only one who can make you feel like this?'

'Y-you fuck. Edward.'

'So fucking good.' Edward groans low in his throat, we're both breathing heavily, the water mixing with our sweat. 'Thought about you in here so many times baby. Coated this wall in my cum thinking about fucking you in here.'

I'm building towards one of the most intense orgasms I've ever had, my entire body is trembling.

'Holy fuck I'm gonna cum.' I howl, practically tearing out his hair.

He lets out a deep groan, gripping me tighter.

'Jesus Christ. I can feel it baby, fuck...'

'Oh my god, Edward. Fuck!' I scream, my body convulsing as wave after wave of intense pleasure shoots through my body.

'Bella.' Edward growls, 'Fuck baby, keep cumming all over my cock, just like that. Do you have any idea how fucking hot it is hearing you scream my name when you cum? Shit baby.'

His groans become deeper, more frenzied.

He's going to cum.

I'm still lost in my orgasm, my body continuing to shake in ecstasy.

I feel him throb inside of me.

'FUCK.' Edward roars, squeezing my body into his as he releases inside of me.

He drops his head to my shoulder and we stay like that for a moment, the water drumming down on our backs.

Edward gently moves back from me, helping me to my feet and holding my waist as I sway unsteadily.

'You were holding out on me.' I accuse, placing a hand on the flat of his hard stomach.

He trembles at my touch and I fight against the fresh wave of lust that threatens to overwhelm me.

Especially when his cock starts to thicken and lengthen again, the tip brushing my wrist.

This kind of desire isn't natural.

How can we still want each other?

'Just a little.' He says with a smirk, stroking my wet hair behind my ear and cupping the back of my neck, moving me into his body.

'But you could have covered my mouth to stop me being loud.' I say huskily.

His emerald eyes meet mine as water rolls down his face.

'I couldn't cover my mouth, and believe me, if I'd fucked you as hard as I wanted, there's no fucking way I'd have been able to stay quiet baby.'

There's a throb between my legs, I can feel his cum dripping down my thighs, the hot water washing it away as it cascades down my shoulders and back.

He pulls my head closer, his mouth brushing mine. 'Do you have any idea how fucking good it feels to fuck you? Your pussy was made for me Bella.'

His thick cock brushes my stomach, hard and wet.

A throaty whine emerges from my mouth and his eyes burn into mine as his other hand moves to grip my ass, squeezing my wet flesh.

'Mmm I love how much you want my cock.'

I crash my mouth to his with a low groan and he responds with vigour, holding me close as his length rubs against my stomach.

He pulls back from me, placing kisses across my cheeks then turns my body carefully, kissing my shoulder.

'What are you doing?' I pout when he pulls away.

'We have all night.' He murmurs, moving back behind me and placing his hands on my belly.

They're slick and slippery as they smooth against my skin.

My head tilts back on his shoulder as he caresses my body with the shower gel, whimpering softly when he cups both of my tits in his large hands, his cock throbbing against my ass.

'So fucking beautiful.' He says under his breath, placing a heated kiss on my neck.

My eyes flutter, a warmth spreading in my belly that for once, isn't fueled by desire.

His words shouldn't sound so sweet.

He's not mine.

Can never be mine.

Even if he doesn't love her.

I start to turn but he holds me tight, his hands resting on my stomach again.

He's so still.

I can feel his nerves emanating from his body.

'Bella.' He says softly, his voice full of something deep and gritty that makes me freeze in his arms.

'Can I tell you something?'

I breathe out.

The silence stretches, taut and elastic.

'Yeah.' I answer carefully.

He's silent, his breath steady against the back of my neck.

I exhale.

Wait for his words.

He presses his head into my shoulder softly, nuzzling my skin.

'Promise you won't tell anyone? Not a soul?'

'I promise.' I say, something in my gut knotting.

He lets out a shaky breath. 'I think my…dad is stealing money from his clients. I saw something…last week that I wasn't supposed to. I needed to borrow his printer in his office and there was this paperwork on the desk…I didn't even mean to look I just…did. He freaked out when he saw me in there. I can't…I can't tell anyone else about this but it's different with you…'

My stomach plummets and I pull out of his arms.

His words confirm what my dad suspects, and if I know Charlie, and there's a paper trail, then he's already figured it out.

Shit he's going to think I told him!

I have to tell him. Now.

'Edward I-'

'Edward?' I hear a woman's voice call outside his room.

We both jump and exchange panicked looks.

'Shit.' He hisses, alarmed.

My expression mirrors his.

Is it his parents?

He shoots me a look that says, 'be quiet.'

'Yeah mom?' He calls out. 'I'm in the shower. When did you guys get back? Is something wrong?'

'Just this second, your father is parking the car in the garage. Your father just had a client book a meeting early tomorrow morning so we came back. Is Tanya here?'

Edward grimaces at me. 'No, why?'

'Nothing I just thought I heard a woman's voice.'

'Shit.' I murmur at him, widening my eyes.

'What?' Edward calls out, his voice full of the perfect amount of confusion, bewilderment and casual denial.

I stifle a smile.

He's a better actor than I would have thought.

'Anyway, night darling. See you in the morning.'

'Night mom.' He shouts, turning to me with a sheepish grin.

'Shit you really need to go.'

I nod at him as he turns off the shower.

'Edward, wait, I need to talk to you about something.' I whisper, reaching for his arm.

He turns to me with a half smirk, wrapping me in his arms quickly as he kisses my neck and then my mouth.

It's soft and playful but it doesn't stop the jolt of electricity that snaps down my spine as I feel his mouth against mine.

He pulls back, eyes slightly wild. 'If you don't go right now I don't think I'll be able to stop myself.' He says throatily, gripping my waist in a tight grip.

'But I just need to-'

'Edward?' A deep voice says, knocking at the door.

Edward shoots me a panicked look and clears his throat.

'Yes?'

'I need to speak with you in my study. Now.'

'Uh, okay sir.' Edward says in a soft polite tone that I haven't heard him use before.

I cock my head at him curiously but any playfulness that's was in his expression before is gone.

He looks nervous.

There's receding footsteps and Edward grimaces at me.

'Shit I hope he didn't hear you... Okay stay here and once I'm done I'll try to sneak us out.'

I shake my head. 'I can just go down the stairs on the balcony it's fine.'

Edward frowns. 'Are you sure? How will you get home?'

I smirk at him. 'Worried about me?'

For a second he stares at me seriously but then his lips curve up. 'Is that allowed?'

I lick my lips. 'Definitely not.'

His eyes drop to my mouth, darkening with hunger and I shiver, stepping into him and swiping my tongue across his full bottom lip playfully.

'I'll be fine.' I say breathily, winking at him.

His eyes glint.

Then I'm pressed against the door with his hand around my throat as he kisses me roughly.

I whimper into his mouth.

He's so fucking hard again, his cock warm and pressing into my belly.

We're still wet from the shower, our skin sliding as it collides.

He pulls back with a dark look, frustration clear on his gorgeous face.. 'Meet you in our usual spot Monday at lunch. Don't be late.'

I bite my lip.

'Okay, wait, I have to tell you-'

'Edward.' His dad shouts.

Edward kisses me quickly as he throws on a pair of flannel pyjama pants and leaves the room, holding a T-shirt in his hands.

There's a flash of green as his eyes meet mine for a lingering moment, then the door closes and he's gone.

I stare at the silky, white, wood, my stomach churning.

Fuck.

I'll tell him Monday.

I will.