18+

XXVIII

'Give it up.' I tell Alice from where I'm lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, that same spot that's become my spot.

Jasper lies on the bed next to me, resting his head in the hollow of my shoulder.

I lean into his warmth, his silence.

'Bella, you need to do something fun.' Alice comes to sit on the edge of the bed, resting her dainty hand on my ankle.

'You mean you're not having fun now?' I say in fake shock.

I feel the vibrations of Jasper's laugh against my arm, but he doesn't make a sound.

Alice arches a brow at me and then narrows her eyes. 'Well at least you're making jokes.'

I scoff and Jasper gently nudges me with his chin.

I recognise the warning.

Don't upset Alice. Don't hurt my girl.

'I don't want to go out.' I say truthfully. 'I like lying here.'

'But you're…I hate seeing you like this.' Alice sighs, her lower lip pouting.

Jasper hums and I elbow him sharply.

Keep it in your pants.

Jasper's chest vibrates again.

'Withdrawal takes months.' I state after a while.

'It's been a month already…' Alice says worriedly, grabbing my hand. 'You haven't been out once except for school.'

I don't say anything.

Alice sighs, recognising I'm done.

She lies on the other side of me and the room lapses into a comforting silence.

Alice is perfect for Jasper. Even though she loves to talk and always has something to say, she knows when to stop. Knows how to read our silence and act accordingly.

I can't stop thinking about him.

Even though the thought of him hurts.

The worst part is, I think if he was in front of me, in this room with me right now, I wouldn't even want to fuck. I just want to feel his arms around me.


A/N If you're just joining, hi :) I'm not really doing A/N's in this story, I don't want to take away from the story itself. But I'll do a tiny one now just to say a few things.

Firstly, I know the chapter lengths change a lot but it's just Bella's mind. She only speaks when she has shit to say, after all. So you only get from her, what she's giving you. Secondly, I promise this is a HEA eventually. Finally, thank you so much for reading and reviewing, big love if you have - and please keep them coming, let me know how you're feeling, how you're finding the chapters, give me your thoughts :) Who's your favourite character? I'm biased but I just love this Jasper.

To let you know as well, I have a facebook group which you can find if you just search for creaatingmadness.

Ella xx