XXV
"Burn,"
That's all I could think about as I entered the car. I wanted this world to go up in flames around me. That smirk on his pale grey face infuriated me. With the Cat's Den burning behind me, I couldn't shake the feeling that his grey ass had won this round. He lost a worthless son but he got close to what I…
"No she can't be mine," I thought to myself.
Thump… thump…
The sound of her heart filled my ears. Its rhythm matched the one that was filled with fear. He caused her to fear.
"Damn him!"
Again the smirk on his face flashed in my mind. It slowly unfurled upward, keeping time with the sound of her heartbeat. Entering the car I smelt the fear oozing from the Amazon. I couldn't contain the rage that filled me. It burned deep from down in my core and was boiling up into my eyes. My vision was consumed by blood red film.
"Boss…"
In the faint reaches of my mind I heard J'onzz trying to reach me. I knew what he wanted to say. His formal tone gave him away.
"I can't," I thought.
I couldn't offer her any comfort. Not like this. Not with my eyes seeping molten fire. What sane person would seek comfort from a savage beast. As I closed the door once I was inside I kept my head forward and took a deep breath.
"You are in control Kal," I breathed in. "Calm your rage…"
As I breathed in and breathed out, out of the corner of my eye I watched Arthur's mouth move. He mouthed my name yet I found myself unable to pay attention to him.
Thump, thump…
The rhythmic thumping of the Amazon's heartbeat fueled my rage.
"Boss you might want to..." I heard Arthur's voice invade my head.
I growled low, "Don't..."
Arthur immediately sat up straighter in his seat. If I ignored J'onzz I'm sure as hell was going to ignore the damn fish boy. I wasn't in the mood to hear whatever he had to say. I didn't need either of them to tell me what the Amazon's heartbeat had already told me. Without turning my head, my eyes found their way to the rear view mirror.
"Don't look at me…." I prayed to myself.
I didn't want her to see me like this. Barely holding on to my flames. I held my breath as my eyes saw her with her knees in her chest. Her breaths were shallow. Whatever that grey piece of shit said, what she just did or the sight of the burning Cat's Den had her had freaked her out. A part of me felt guilty for her getting caught in the middle of my power play with Darkseid. She was innocent.
"Just take us home," I said over my comlink with Arthur.
He nodded.
As Arthur took hold of the wheel I pulled my gaze off of the rear view mirror as a soft whimper left the Amazon's mouth.
Thump, thump….
The urge to glance back at her consumed me as I continued to listen to her heartbeat. As the car turned on I turned off my super hearing. I tuned out the sound of her by replaying Darkseid's words over and over again in my head.
"Till we meet again... till we meet again..."
Darkseid's gravelly voice was enough to drown out the soothing sound of her heartbeat. As Arthur drove us, I felt J'onzz reach out to me once more.
"Clark…" he called.
I cringed as I heard him call me by the name that those people gave me.
"...Talk to me kid..."
"Using that name to get my attention now J'onzz?" I asked coldly.
"It got you to talk, did it?" J'onzz replied.
I sighed. He felt the rage swirling within me. I wasn't in the mood to talk about what had just happened. He made a mistake, everyone does. Selina has always been a snake and J'onzz has always had a blindspot for finding the 'good' in people. Hell, his 'blindspot' for kindness saved my life. Without him I'd still be locked up in that fucking barn in Kansas. He's a good man and probably the only person around me who actually gave a shit about me.
"It's fine J'onzz," I replied, with a sigh. "You try and see the good in people, even for those who don't deserve it…"
"Like you?" J'onzz voice cracked. "I should have been more mindful of Selina and her loyalties. My lack of oversight put your woman in danger…"
His voice was firm when he called the Amazon mine. She clearly wasn't, she was too pure to be anything to me.
"It's been a long day J'onzz," I said, interrupting him. "Just prepare my hookah for me."
"Getting high won't…" he said.
My eyes shot back the rear view mirror. Her head was still buried in her knees. Her whole body moved with every breath she took. She looked so fragile.
"Don't…" I muttered to myself as I fought the urge to reach out for her.
I need a smoke immediately.
"It won't make those feelings go away Clark…" J'onzz added. "It's ok to feel something for her…"
"J'onzz don't press your luck," I growled. "I've killed two people today. I'd hate to make it three…"
"Having someone to care about will make you stronger…" J'onzz said.
"I am strong enough to kill Darkseid when the time comes," I laughed, but my voice was darker than usual.
My laughter couldn't hide what I was feeling from J'onzz. My annoyance was evident.
"When has absenstaning ever made anyone stronger?" J'onzz asked.
He had a point, but she was off limits.
"We're here…" I heard Arthur's voice.
As the car came to a complete stop I swiftly left the car and rushed inside my compound. I made my way up to the 'white room'. Bursting into the room a slammed the door closed.
"You don't need this…" I heard J'onzz voice say in front of me.
He stood in front of me with a massive lead chest in his arms.
"I'll tell you what I need," I hissed at him as I took the box from his grasp. "Now leave me."
J'onzz bowed his head and left me. I waited for him to close the door behind him before I walked over to the lone white couch in the middle of the room. Taking a seat I placed the box beside the hookah. I opened the box to a glowing piece of Kryptonite. I broke off a piece and took into my hand. Closing my fist I crushed the Kryptonite between my fingers until it was dust. I poured the dust particles into one of the hookah compartments and turned it on. I waited a few seconds before I brought the pipe to my lips and relief.
The hot Kryptonite laced smoke filled my lungs. I took a long deep breath as my whole body started to relax. The sounds around me started to blend together in a nonsensical hum in the back of my mind. I leaned back against the couch and stretched my arms across the back of it. Peace finally. I took another puff. I held in for a couple of seconds.
Thump, thump...
My eyes shot open as I exhaled and there she was. She wore one of my shirts, that reached halfway down her thighs. Bye Rao she was beautiful. Slowly I started to exhale. It took her a minute to realize that I was staring at her. She panicked and started to rush back outside of the room. Immediately, I rushed out of my seat. My body moved on its own and collided into her. I grabbed hold of her hand that was resting on the doorknob. I pulled the door closed behind her.
"Amazon..." I growled, slurring my words together..
The wall cracked around the door frame. We were alone. I towered over her as I looked down at her.
I pulled her in close as I grabbed her by her tiny waist.
"Mine…" I growled as I pressed her body up against mine.
She engulfed my senses.
"I belong to no man or god," she said.
I leaned my head down to hers. She tilted her head up to look me in my eyes. She stared up at me defiant. Her eyes traveled down to my lips. I licked them.
Thump, thump…
Silence filled the room between us. She searched my face as the green smoke of Kryptonite filled the room. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath of smoke. Tilting my head up to the sky I exhaled and brought my head back down to her.
"I am neither," I answered.
The last stick of common sense tried to get my body to stop the words from leaving my mouth by it failed.
Thump, thump, thump…
Her heart rate tripled and I finally broke. I leaned down and claimed her lips for my own. As our lips met I pulled back immediately. I felt her breath on my face. Looking down at her lips I'd bruised them.
"Leave me before I do something I'll regret Amazon," I growled.
I took several steps away from her. Her chest heaved up and down as she watched me take another deep breath bringing the green smoke into my lungs. She took a step towards me, but I couldn't allow her to get any closer. I let the fire burning inside fill my eyes. I blasted the wall right beside her head. She stood there without flinching.
"I won't break," she replied.
I sighed, "But I break everything."
I turned my back to her. She stood there for a moment before she finally walked out of the room. She closed the door and stood there.
"Shit," I growled.
J'onzz was right, I did care.
