The Griffin Equivalency

Claire couldn't help but smile as she stood beside Penny, waiting for Leonard to finish sorting out the Chinese food they'd ordered for dinner that night while they gathered in Sheldon's apartment.

"Let's see, Raj was the Kung Pao Chicken…" Leonard mumbled as he set that particular order to the side, knowing Raj was on his way over, "And Claire got the sesame chicken…"

Claire took the food and opened the top of it, just inhaling the scent of it, before frowning, "Should I have gotten the chicken lo mein instead?"

The collective groaning of every other person in the room, which as just Penny, Leonard, and Howard at the moment, made Claire pout, "What!?"

"Claire, sweetie," Penny put her hand on Claire's shoulder, "You know I love you, but you spent 45 minutes straight going back and forth between the lo mein and the sesame chicken while we were all starving before we made you flip a coin for it. You're going to sit down and eat your sesame chicken and like it."

"Sheesh," Claire grumbled under her breath as she moved to sit on the armrest of the couch, "Not my fault they're both good."

"Then get both next time," even Howard seemed annoyed, though none of them were genuinely so, more so they were just very hungry and hadn't wanted to wait the extra hour to eat while Claire debated the pros and cons of each meal to them in her indecisiveness, "I'm starving!"

"Aren't we all," Leonard muttered, digging through the bag again, "Penny, which one did you get again?"

"I'm the dumplings," Penny stated.

"Yes, you are," not even his hunger could stop Howard from making the remark.

"Creepy, Howard."

"Creepy good or creepy bad?" Howard grinned.

"No such thing as creepy good when it comes to you, Howie," Claire called, swallowing a forkful of her food, "You're not a haunted house or a movie."

"Who was the Shrimp with Lobster Sauce?" Leonard glanced over, honestly it had been so long ago that they'd even taken the orders of who would get what before waiting for Claire to decide, he wasn't even sure if HE had ordered that at this point.

"That would be me," Howard quickly walked over, "Come to Poppa, you un-kosher delight," he glanced at Penny as she opened her own food where she was sitting in Sheldon's spot, "I'm not necessarily talking to the food."

Penny just gave him an unamused look and pointed away from her, "Sit over there."

"Sit over there," came her repeated words from Sheldon as he entered, seeing Penny in his spot, waiting till she moved to the next spot over (ignoring her rolled eyes as she did so) to off her a small packet of something white, "Baby wipe?"

Penny eyed the damp napkin in confusion, "What do you have…."

"Don't!" came the cry from both Howard and Leonard as they took their seats, "Don't! Don't!"

"I'll tell you why!" Sheldon huffed, sitting in his spot, ignoring the groaning of the other men, "I had to sanitize my hands because the university replaced the paper towels in the rest rooms with hot air blowers!"

"I thought the blowers were more sanitary?" Penny frowned.

"Why!?" Leonard and Howard shouted, "Don't!"

Claire could only laugh behind her mouthful of chicken at their groans when Sheldon launched into a tirade about sanitation, "Hot air blowers are incubators and spewers of bacteria and pestilence. Frankly it would be more hygienic if they just had a plague infested gibbon sneeze my hands dry!"

"He's not all wrong," Claire offered, seeing Penny looking just a little lost, "The heat needed to actually kill any germs would practically burn your hands."

"Got it," Penny winced at the thought, though Sheldon himself had turned to Claire with a wide grin for her support.

Just then the door flew open and Raj rushed in with an excited, "Hey guys, I just got the most amazing new…" and cut himself off into a high squeak when he saw Penny and Claire in the room too.

"Oh sugar," Claire sighed, shaking her head as Raj clammed up.

"Do you think you'll ever be able to talk in front of us without being drunk?" Penny asked the poor boy who frantically shook his head, "Ok, well, we'll just…" she glanced at Claire in a semblance of permission seeking, "Um, go eat in our apartment?" she offered, not sure if she should be speaking for Claire or not, or even if Claire would want to leave.

To be honest, she really didn't want to go either. This was really the first time she'd been in the same room as Leonard and not had it feel awkward since their not-so-bad date, she didn't want it to end so fast. And then there was the fact that Claire and Sheldon were right there, sitting right next to each other on the couch. Granted, that happened every single time they ate, just like Sheldon had a spot, so did Claire, but she could see something different in Claire now. The girl seemed to be giving consideration to what she'd said about her feelings for Sheldon, and if she was considering then there was a possibility that Cladon…Shelaire…Booper? She really needed to come up with a ship name for them, but either way, there was a possibility that Claire and Sheldon might become something more if they just had the right pushes…

She wasn't sure how they fully felt though, she wanted to watch them closely when they were together, especially when they were in a group, get more…intel? Was that the right word? Data? Whatever it was that scientists gathered when they wanted to launch an experiment. Observing them together would help her help them…and leaving was not going to help.

But she felt bad for Raj, he seemed really excited about something he wanted to share with them and he wouldn't be able to get it out with her or Claire there unless he said it through one of the other guys and it seemed important enough that he would want to tell them himself.

"Sure," Claire nodded, almost too eagerly.

"You guys don't have to do that," Leonard frowned at them, seeing even Sheldon was frowning at it.

"It's fine," Claire insisted, standing up and actually taking a few steps away from the couch, moving to walk behind it towards the door, "Really."

Penny eyed her oddly for a moment, seeing just a hint of pink on Claire's cheeks as she waited at the door for her and stood, "Yeah, it's ok," Penny agreed, standing, "I mean, between him not talking," she nodded at Raj, "Him talking," and then Sheldon, "And…him," she frowned at Howard, before glancing at Leonard, "We're probably better off at our place," she moved to follow Claire out, pausing by Raj, "Goodbye you poor, strange, little man," she leaned in to kiss his cheek before following Claire out, none of them seeing the deep frown that had settled on Sheldon's face.

Penny didn't even look back as she shut the door to their apartment behind her and watched as Claire moved and practically fell onto the couch, staring at her food, "You wanna explain that to me?" she asked the girl, partially teasing but also fairly serious as she moved to sit beside her on the couch.

Claire, however, frowned at her, "I don't think Shelly said anything too Sheldon to understand…" she said it hesitantly, as though she didn't want to insult Penny if she truly hadn't understood something Sheldon had said, not wanting to assume that just because it seemed fairly simple for anyone to understand that Penny had or hadn't.

"Not that," Penny shook her head, setting her dumplings down on the coffee table, "Germs are bad, hot air sucks, I got that," she said quickly, "I mean…you practically ran out of there," she eyed Claire, "You ok?"

"Y-yeah," Claire stuttered a moment, before sighing and moving to hide her face in her hands, Penny quickly reaching out to grab Claire's take out before it toppled off her knees from the move, setting it on the table, "I just…I realized I have a spot."

Penny blinked at that, "The armrest next to Sheldon," she said simply, "I'm pretty sure we all know it's your spot, fact I'm pretty sure I even said it to you at one point or another. It's not news…"

"No, I just…" Claire took a breath and pulled her hands away from her face, "It's right next to him. HOW did I not realize this!?"

Penny blinked once more, "I'm a little lost…" she admitted.

Claire sighed, "My spot, on that couch, it's right next to Sheldon. I never noticed it was THAT close to him till he turned to smile at me. It's just..." she looked at Penny, "Why did you have to say that to me Penny?"

"Ok, really lost now," Penny frowned, "What did I say?"

"Why did you have to say I had feelings for Shelly?" she put her hands back on her face, looking down again, "It's all I can think about now."

And it was true. She really had never realized just how close her spot was to Sheldon before just that moment. He was so close, he was right next to her, so near that she could feel his body heat along her side. It had hit her the second he'd turned to smile at her, it was so big, just a foot away from her face and she'd realized that it was too close. She'd jumped up and nearly run out of the room because all she could think about was how nice it was and how she liked being so close to him and she wouldn't mind if, one day, he wanted her to sit a little closer and...it was too much.

She shouldn't be thinking this! Not about her best friend!

She'd needed some space, and just...ran. And she knew, she KNEW, Sheldon would be worried and seek her out before the end of the night to ask her about it and she'd have to lie to him. She hated lying to him but she couldn't just blurt out what she was feeling. Sheldon was tricky and his grasp on emotions was limited and the last thing she wanted to do was to make him uncomfortable or risk their friendship. Especially when she wasn't really sure WHAT she was feeling. She liked him yes, liked him-liked him as children would say, she loved him in her own way too...but to what extent? She'd never really loved anyone in a less than platonic way, how was she going to know if that was what she felt for him?

WAS that how she felt for him, or was it Penny's words just getting in her head and twisting it all up?

She regretted it, she really did, that Penny had had to mention even the possibility of her liking Sheldon. It was much easier when that thought hadn't even crossed her mind.

"You really do like Sheldon!?" Penny nearly screeched, a wide smile spreading across her face.

"I don't know," Claire groaned into her hands, her words coming out muffled, "I like him, of course I do, he's...he's Shelly. But do I like him because he's Shelly or because you put the idea in my head or because I haven't had a relationship with any guy in over 2 years or..." she pulled her hands away and looked at Penny, the girl's smile fading as she saw tears actually stinging Claire's eyes, "I don't know about anything anymore."

"Oh sweetie," Penny reached out and tugged Claire over to hug her, "I know, I know it can be complicated and confusing..."

"We're talking about me LIKING Sheldon Cooper, Pen."

Penny nodded to that, "Ok, beyond the realm of comprehension then," she amended, a teasing tone to her voice though, secretly pleased she'd managed to use some bigger words in her remark that she was fairly certain were used right, "But you don't have to do anything right this second, Claire. You can take all the time you need to sort this out. I mean, it's not like Sheldon Lee Cooper's gonna find himself an actual girlfriend any time soon. Or ever. Just take a breath and I'm sure you'll figure it out..."

"I don't know how to," Claire admitted, "I've...I've never felt like this before."

Penny pulled away and smiled at her, "Well, as smart as all of you may be in science and English and things, I happen to be the genius when it comes to relationships."

Claire gave her a hesitant look, "Pen, and I mean no offense at all sugar, but...your relationships aren't really something that builds trust in that statement."

Penny deflated but not in a wounded way, more resigned, "Yeah, that's probably true," she mused, "But I've at least HAD relationships. I know feelings, emotions, I know a lot of different types of relationships," she looked back at Claire, "You're my friend, Claire, let me help you at least sort out your feelings, ok?"

Claire nodded slowly at that, "Ok."

"But not right now," Penny stated, "I really AM starving," she reached for her food again and took a large bite of her dumpling, nearly slumping in relief and the taste of it.

Claire had just picked up her own food when there was a sound at the door.

Knock, knock, knock, "Claire," Sheldon called. Knock, knock, knock, "Claire," knock, knock, knock, "Claire."

Claire waited patiently till he'd finished his third set and opened the door, "Hey, Shelly Bean."

Sheldon looked at her a moment, a frown on his face, "You left."

"Yeah," she winced, "Sorry about that. Um," she glanced back at Penny and to him once more, "Raj seemed real excited to talk to y'all, we didn't want to keep him."

"Are you sure?" Sheldon eyed her critically, as though he were trying to see if she was lying to him.

"What else would it be?" she played it off.

Sheldon shifted at that, looking down a moment, "It wasn't something I did?" his stomach turned at the thought that he might have done something, somehow been so offensive or even hurt Claire's feelings without meaning to and driven her away from him. The worst memories he had were of the times they fought and she didn't speak to him. He just...he had to be sure she wasn't mad at him for something.

"Oh, Shelly, no," she reached out to take his hand, giving it a quick squeeze before she let it go, knowing he wasn't very comfortable with touch, even less when he didn't see it coming, "You didn't do a thing."

"Good," Sheldon nodded to himself, looking back up at her, "Do you want to come back to finish eating?" he glanced past her at Penny, sighing, "Penny can come too."

"Thanks, Sheldon," Penny let out a light laugh at that, he sounded more like asking her was an afterthought and a resigned one at that.

"No," Claire shook her head, "Thanks though. Penny and I are having some girl talk."

Sheldon's face scrunched up at that, as though the idea of 'girl talk' was disturbing to him. Which, Claire had to admit, it just might be. His entire knowledge of what 'girl talk' was came from Missy, which did leave something to be desired as Missy often went out of her way to tease her brother, "Right, well, enjoy your 'girl talk.'"

Claire shook her head as Sheldon turned and headed back to his apartment, "What?" she asked when she turned, closing the door, to see Penny smiling.

"Whatever your feelings might be, Claire," Penny told her, "You're definitely not the only one feeling them."

Claire gave her an odd look at that, something about it telling her that her comment had gone right over Claire's head. It did make sense though, Claire had a tough enough time realizing SHE felt something for Sheldon, whatever it might be, for her to even try to entertain the idea that Sheldon might like her back...that was beyond Claire at the moment. And she really didn't want to push too much just yet.

"Forget it," Penny shook her head.

She would focus on helping Claire first and then worry about the walking praying mantis that was Sheldon Cooper. She felt like she was going to have a tough enough time helping Claire sort out her feelings (especially considering this was the same girl that changed her mind about her room, her clothes, and her food ten times a day), never mind when the time came to actually get Sheldon to feel human emotion.

~8~

Claire was frowning down at her Cheesecake Factory menu later the next night, basically squinting at the words that were starting to blur in her vision. It wasn't a 'glasses' moment, no, her eyesight was fairly good, only really requiring her to wear her glasses when she was going to be spending long hours reading or writing, which was not the case now. No, it was the dull throb that had started earlier that day in Sheldon's office and had grown more so while sitting there at the table with the other boys, the tension in the air giving her a headache.

Apparently Raj's news was that he'd recently discovered something in space, something small but noteworthy, enough where he was getting included in a magazine article. Sheldon had done nothing but complain to her while they'd had lunch in his office earlier about it. Raj was boastful and annoying the others with his going on and on about the article. It had made Sheldon, and even Leonard and Howard, reluctant to be as joyous and proud of Raj as they likely should have been. She'd had to leave when Leonard and Howard stopped by the office, a class to teach dragging her away from hearing their attempt at apology to their friend.

Actually, now that she considered it, her headache could have been brought about by her class. They were going over one of the assigned readings and, somehow, it had devolved into a very heated argument between the class. Honestly, she couldn't even remember what the argument was about, she'd let it go on longer than necessary but it was always so thrilling to see students taking such a passionate interest in a novel and vehemently discussing it the way they had been. It had left her feeling both proud and drained, the debate had ended up more of an argument by the end than a discussion.

Raj, and his truly never ending talk about his magazine spot, was not making things any better, especially not now that he'd had a grasshopper and been able to speak with her at the table. She was sure that it had been the guys' plan to invite her to the dinner in the hopes Raj's selective mutism would shine and he'd NOT talk about all of this all over again.

It lasted all of one minute till he'd gotten a sip of alcohol in him.

"So anyway, after a fantastic lunch I was whisked off to the People magazine photo shoot…have any of you ever been to a photo shoot?"

The boys shared an unimpressed look at that before Leonard deadpanned the obvious answer, "No."

"Yes," Claire muttered, making them all look at her in surprise, "Missy was modeling clothes for one of her friends, he's a fashion designer and needed models for his portfolio."

"Did YOU get all dolled up for that too?" Howard nearly leered at her, "I wouldn't mind snapping a few pics of you."

Claire sighed, reaching out to smack her menu against the nearest part of him, sadly just his hand on the table, "No. I was there to make sure it was legit."

"Yeah, well, a photo shoot for People Magazine is much different," Raj steered the conversation back to him, "It's fantastic, apparently the camera loves me and I it. They shot me in front of a starry background where I posed like this," he struck a pose where he basically stared into nothing before releasing it, "They're going to digitally add a supernova, they say it's the perfect metaphor for my incandescent talent."

"Right," Sheldon remarked, "A ball of hot flaming gas that collapses in on itself."

That earned him a nudge from Leonard that had Sheldon rolling his eyes and putting on a rather forced smile…truly, it was a frightening sight to see. He looked more like the Joker from Batman than an actual smiling individual. Claire was almost positive she was going to have nightmares of that smile.

"Excuse me," Raj apologized as his phone rang, "Oh, it's my assistant Trevor," he answered it, "Go for Koothrappali. Uh huh…"

Howard leaned over to speak to Sheldon and Leonard, Claire hearing as well as she was between the two men, "They gave him an assistant? If I want a new pen I have to go to the bank with wire cutters."

"Have we at this point met our social obligations?" Sheldon asked, fighting to speak through his grin.

"Not yet," Leonard sighed.

"Shelly," Claire set her menu down, "Stop doing that, you're giving me the creeps."

Sheldon's entire face relaxed as he rubbed his jaw, "They said I had to smile and nod."

"Well, smile different."

"I don't have that many smiles. Ooh!" he lit up, "I could do my Koala face…"

Claire shook her head, "Don't taint the Koala face, don't waste one of those smiles on this," even she could admit Raj was taking this a little far.

Sheldon pouted, "But I don't have any other smiles figured out yet."

Claire considered that a moment, "Remember that time I surprised you with that recording of the Professor Proton episode you missed when you were visiting your Meemaw?"

Sheldon smiled at the memory, "It was the best episode ever."

Claire gave him a small smile and nodded, "There you go, a nicer smile to use."

Sheldon blinked at that, surprised, and felt his face as though he was honestly shocked he was smiling at the moment.

"Yeah," Leonard nodded, "Just think about all the Professor Proton experiments when you need to smile. The Potato Clock was a classic."

Sheldon glanced at Leonard at that a moment, his gaze flickering to Claire as she went back to her menu, before he looked down at his own. There was this strange niggling in his mind, it was a familiar niggle, don't get him wrong. He was often used to the sensation he would get when Leonard was wrong about something, he usually was wrong about a lot of things. But he couldn't fathom why Leonard WAS wrong about this. He DID enjoy Professor Proton's television show, it had been his favorite as a child, and he supposed thinking of it would make him smile. But he couldn't help the oddness of the niggling telling him it wasn't the memory of Professor Proton that had gotten him to smile…

But what else could it be?

"Ok," Raj was finishing up, "Just put it on my calendar but start thinking of a reason why I can't go, alrighty? Koothrappali out," he chuckled to himself as he ended the call, "God bless that boy, I don't know what I'd do without him."

"You just got him this afternoon," Leonard reminded him.

"Yes, but I'm finding that having a lackey suits me."

"Is lackey really the best word?" Claire frowned at him for that.

"Oh, I'm sorry, is that politically incorrect? In India we just call them untouchables."

That brought Sheldon's grin to a frown as he looked at Leonard, "Now?"

He was really hoping this supposed social obligation Leonard told him about, how if you upset one friend when they're excited about something, you had to make it up to them, was over soon. He honestly didn't understand the concept of it. The only thing that made sense was that he and Raj were colleagues not friends. If Raj was his friend, he WOULD be excited for Raj's discover and recognition. Whenever Claire was excited about something important to her work, he was always very happy for her and supportive. So why would he care if he upset Raj? He wasn't automatically excited for Raj like he was with Claire, so it had to mean Raj wasn't at friendship level yet. So why should he have to worry about upsetting him or making it up to him?

There would be nothing to make up for if they were friends.

Such a strange concept that he had to make things up to Raj when he was just a colleague.

"Almost," Leonard huffed.

"Speaking of untouchables," Raj continued, "I've got great news for you guys. People magazine is having a reception this Saturday, and I managed to get you invited."

"Oh, gee, thanks," Howard muttered, not sounding enthusiastic about it at all.

Raj didn't notice, merely grinning widely, "Oh, you're welcome. Of course, I couldn't get you into the VIP section, because, you know, that's for VIPs, and you guys are just, you know, Ps."

"There's a tribe in Papua New Guinea where, when a hunter flaunts his success to the rest of the village they kill him, and drive away evil spirits with a drum made of his skin," Sheldon stated, "Superstitious nonsense of course, but one can see their point," he offered Raj a smile again.

Thankfully, any comments about that were cut off by the return of Penny who had gone to fetch Raj another drink, "Here you go, Raj, you might want to drink this one slowly."

"Ok," Raj took a deep gulp of it, "So, Saturday night, can I count on my posse?"

"Gee…" Howard drew it out, "I'd love to Raj, but I can't make it."

"Oh, ok, Leonard?"

"Well, uh, no," Leonard tried to come up with an excuse, "I…the…no."

At this point Raj seemed to notice something was going on, "Sheldon?"

"I can make it, but I won't," Sheldon said simply.

Raj frowned, "Claire?"

Claire looked up from the dessert section, "If Shelly isn't going, I'm not."

It was her go to reasoning when there was a conflict on her part over whether to do something. She was indecisive, she knew that, she could flop back and forth from thinking she should go because Raj was something of a friend and he was usually very sweet and levelheaded, that this was just pricking his pride a bit too much. But, then again, she'd have to endure Raj being as arrogant as he was being now and, likely, drunk too if a girl went with him. She could agonize over it for hours, days even, but the simple solution, besides flipping a coin, was to just agree with Sheldon.

It was one reason their friendship worked so well, she was a chaotic mess of indecision, and he was a structured, scheduled, regimented task manager. It was sometimes easier to just go along with what Sheldon wanted instead of having to fret over two options.

And really, it was a better excuse to use Sheldon than to do as Sheldon had done and say she really just didn't want to go.

"What are you guys talking about?" Penny looked at them.

"Raj has a dinner reception for his magazine article," Claire told her.

Penny frowned at that, recalling what Claire had told her about Raj's news, about his discovery, "And you guys aren't going? I can't believe you, Raj is celebrating a tremendous accomplishment and you're not even going to be there to support him?"

She could understand Claire backing out, she'd really only become friends with Sheldon's group of guys recently, but she understood that Leonard and Howard were all friends with Raj for a while longer.

"A tremendous accomplishment would be if the planetary body he discovered were plummeting toward Earth and he exploded it with his mind," Sheldon remarked dryly.

"That would be cool," Howard perked up, "I'd go to that reception."

"Come on, this is huge!" Penny tried to help, "Raj is going to be in People magazine. And he didn't even have to knock up one of the Spears sisters."

Raj beamed at her for that, "Would you like to go with me?"

"Of course I would, I would be honored," Penny smiled down at him.

"Really?" Raj blinked, clearly not having expected her to agree, "Cool."

"Shame on you guys," Penny cast the boys a disappointed look before she turned to get them their check.

"Look at that," Raj turned to Leonard, "I got a date with Penny. I can't believe it took you a whole year!"

Claire just shook her head, setting her menu down.

"Now?" Sheldon looked to Leonard, taking Claire's action as a sign.

"Now," he nodded, all of them getting up to head off, leaving Raj to pick up the bill now that he was a 'big star' as it was.

Sheldon slowed his walk so he was behind Leonard and Howard, beside Claire, "Are you feeling alright?" he asked.

Claire frowned as she glanced at him, "I'm fine, Shelly."

"But you didn't get dessert," he stated simply, "You always get dessert. Unless you're sick," he eyed her, "You're not sick again are you?" he reached up to put the back of his hand against her forehead, "Not exactly the best method," he muttered, "I can get the thermometer when we get back to the apartments and…"

"Shelly," she offered him a small smile, reaching up to gently pull his hand down, "I'm fine. I just…wasn't in a dessert mood."

This time he frowned, "You're always in a dessert mood."

She let out a light laugh, seeming to cause him to relax at the sound of it, she couldn't be feeling too badly if she was laughing, "Did you really want to sit around for 10 more minutes with Raj while I finished my dessert?"

He considered that for a moment, "Not really."

"Well there you go," she nodded.

Sheldon eyed her a moment longer, trying to determine if she was lying to him, before he nodded himself, sensing on falsehood as they walked out of the Cheesecake Factory.

~8~

"You're sure this is ok?" Penny asked for the tenth time as she stood in her apartment with Claire, looking down at her rather simple black dress and flats.

"It's fine, Pen," Claire repeated for the tenth time, a little out of breath, "You're not going clubbing, it's a somewhat formal dinner."

Claire turned and flopped onto the couch with a pant. She and Leonard had gone to pick up some take out for later when she'd gotten an SOS text from Penny about her outfit. She'd left poor Leonard to find a parking spot and hurried into the building, half running up the stairs to check on Penny...only to find out that the 'I accidentally set fire to my dress' situation she was picturing was really just Penny wondering if the dress was too short. She'd picked it for Penny just before she'd left with Leonard, leaving Penny to get changed.

"Right, yeah," Penny nodded, tugging on her dress.

If anyone had told her she would be asking fashion advice from Claire, she would have laughed in their face and recounted the time Claire had actually left the apartment with neon green leggings, a bright orange tank top, and a horrendously pink nylon jacket. She was secretly suspicious that Claire might be colorblind given her taste and beliefs of what colors worked together.

Luckily, for this situation, all Claire had had to do was choose from already put together outfits that Penny had already put her approval on. She selected three dresses that she thought might be appropriate for a dinner like the one Raj was taking her to, she'd just needed Claire to pick out the one that would be best. She assumed that, being an academic, Claire had at least attended some sort of formal event or professional dinner and would know what would work better at one of them. Though, considering that now, and given what she knew of Claire's natural fashion sense, she had to wonder what Claire had worn in the past...

"I guess I'm just...nervous," Penny admitted.

Claire frowned, "About what?"

"You remember how I felt about that date with Leonard?" Penny turned to face her.

"The before, where you were nervous as all hell, or the after, where you kissed him?" Claire teased.

Penny rolled her eyes, "The before. I'm just...what if the other people there start talking all that science mumbo jumbo? What if they think I'm some sort of brainiac space person like Raj?"

"Well," Claire considered that, "Given Raj is taking you, he's gonna need to be a little drunk to be able to just talk to you. I wouldn't worry much. He's been going on and on about this for days now, he'll probably do all the talking or try and direct the attention back to himself."

"I hope so," Penny muttered, she really hadn't thought it through that she'd be at a dinner for Raj's discover and might be mistaken for a scientist and then just end up feeling stupider than she usually did when Sheldon spoke. And Claire wouldn't be there to translate for her.

"You'll be fine," Claire reassured her, just as there was a knock on the door, getting up to answer it, "Raj," she greeted when she saw the man standing on the other side, dressed in a suit, holding two champagne glasses in his hand though one was suspiciously empty.

"Hey Raj," Penny smiled, moving beside Claire, "Look at you!"

"I know, I am resplendent like the noonday sun, am I not?" Raj beamed, making no attempt to compliment Penny in turn.

Claire shot her a look as though to say 'see?' This wasn't going to be that bad, Raj's head was already inflated about the dinner, he would keep all the focus on him easily.

"Um, yeah, starting with the champagne a little early aren't you?" Penny eyed the glasses.

Raj just shrugged, "It was in the limo. They sent a limo. I have a limo. I just love saying limo. Here, sip on this while you're getting ready," he tried to hand her the full glass but Penny politely shook her head.

"Oh, I'm ready."

Raj gave her an odd look, "That's what you're wearing?"

"What's wrong with her dress?" Claire frowned at that, looking at Penny once more, starting to wonder if she'd picked the wrong dress. It was the classiest Penny had laid out for a night like this. She was SURE she'd actually made a good choice this time…

"…nothing," Raj eyed it with distaste, "I was just hoping for something a little more, you know, redonkulous."

"That's not an actual word," Claire crossed her arms, "And it's a semi-formal dinner, Raj. This is what everyone else will be wearing."

"Whatever," he shrugged, throwing back the glass of champagne, "Let's roll. Alright, it's time to raise the roof. Oo-ooh, oo-ooh!" he put his hands in the air in a minor pushing motion.

"Leonard!" Claire cheered when she saw him coming up the stairs, moving to help him with the bag of take out, taking it from him so he'd be able to unlock his apartment door, "Thank god."

And really, right now she was starting to feel a lot better about not going to the dinner with Raj and Penny. Her excuse in the Cheesecake Factory had been right at the time, if Sheldon wasn't going she wouldn't, leave the decision to him. But right now, she was grateful, she really would not have wanted to spend an entire evening with Raj acting like he was.

"Hey," Leonard greeted them, glancing at Penny quickly.

"Dude!" Raj smiled.

"You look very nice," Leonard offered Penny with a shy smile.

"Thank you," it wasn't just Penny that said it.

Penny shook her head at Raj, "Uh, come on, good night Leonard."

"Good night," Leonard nodded them off as Penny led Raj towards the stairs.

"Hey, Leonard, did you see my limo downstairs?" Raj smirked.

"Yeah."

"It's bigger than the house my grandfather grew up in!"

"Terrific."

"It has more food too."

"Funny," Claire remarked dryly, "Same could be said for my house."

"Pshhh," Raj brushed her comments off, "As if."

"Alright," Penny cut in, seeing Claire shifting a little at Raj's words. She knew that Claire had lived in a trailer for most of her life, and from what Claire had mentioned in passing, she hadn't really had all that much food, it probably was the same situation as Raj's grandfather, but Raj was waving off Claire's struggle as though his grandfather's was more. Really, she couldn't help but feel like Claire's might be a little bit worse a situation than Raj's family, times were different way back when, for someone to grow up NOW in similar circumstances as back then said something, "Come on, come on."

Raj laughed a little as Penny grabbed his arm to lead him to the stairs, starting to sing, "I'm coming up so you better get this party started."

"Is it bad that I really hope his discovery turns out to be space poop?" Claire mused as they watched him go.

That earned a small smile from Leonard, "Aren't we all," he agreed, turning to open the door to his apartment, "Hey," he called out to Howard, Sheldon nowhere to be seen.

"Hey," Howard greeted as Claire walked over to the kitchen counter to start unpacking the food, "Good news, you don't have to sulk about Penny any more, look," he turned the laptop he was looking at towards Leonard, "There are hundreds of Croatian women just waiting for you to contact them!"

"What?" Leonard gave him a disgusted look at that.

"I'll lend you my user name, it's wealthybigpenis."

"Oh, Howard!" Claire groaned, truly disgusted, from the kitchen.

"You're joking," even Leonard looked uncomfortable.

"Well, you gotta make it easy for them, they're just learning English!" Howard defended, "Ow!" he winced as something hit him in the back of the head. He looked down to see a packet of soy sauce lying on the floor and spun around to shoot Claire a glare, knowing she'd thrown the packet at him for his remark.

"Pass," Leonard chuckled lightly at the action.

Howard rolled his eyes but turned back to Leonard, "So you're just going to sit around here and mope while Penny is out with Doctor Apu from the Kwik-e-Mart?"

"It's not a date, and that's racist," Leonard told him, moving to get a glass of water.

"It can't be racist, he's a beloved character on the Simpsons."

"Oh, Howie," Claire shook her head, "We're going to have to talk about your understanding of what racism is, aren't we?"

"Let's just eat so I can get to bed," Leonard cut in, "With any luck tonight will be the night my sleep apnoea kills me."

"Is the food ready?" Sheldon called as he entered the room from the back hall, having heard them talking.

"Yup, here you go Shelly," Claire smiled as she pulled out Sheldon's very particular order.

Leonard's shoulder sagged as he prepared himself for the long interrogation Sheldon was about to launch about the order to ensure his had been taken seriously and to his liking. It took more time to answer all of Sheldon's ridiculous questions than it could actually eating the meal at times.

But, to his surprise, (and really it shouldn't have been such a surprise by now), Claire beat both him and Sheldon to it.

"Diced Chicken with broccoli, not shredded, and don't worry," she reassured him, "I checked before we left that it was diced. Brown rice not white, with your favorite hot mustard from the Korean grocery you told me about, and the low sodium soy sauce from the market," she slid his food over to him, "Bon appetit!"

Sheldon's resulting smile seemed almost fond and quite proud as he took the food from her, "Thank you, Claire Bear."

"You're very welcome, Shelly Bean," she beamed at him, "Sorry it took so long, they originally shredded the chicken with broccoli and we had to wait for them to fix it."

"Understandable," Sheldon nodded, moving over to his spot on the couch, "I take it YOU were the one that noticed that?" Claire nodded, making him frown as he looked at Leonard, knowing he had specifically asked Leonard to check on the order. Claire doing so had only come from ages of knowing how he typically liked his take out from various places and making sure those orders were right, but he'd asked Leonard because Claire had seemed a little more quiet the other day at dinner and she was so rarely that quiet (or refused dessert) unless she had a headache, he hadn't wanted to burden her with remembering all that went into his order, but she had anyway, "Were you distracted by the possibility that Koothrappali might have intercourse with Penny tonight?" he asked Leonard.

"He's not going to have intercourse with Penny!" Leonard cried.

"Then there's no excuse for your lack of attention to my chicken," Sheldon defended, "You know, this situation with Koothrapali brings to mind a story from my childhood."

"Oh goody, more tales from the panhandle," Howard muttered, digging into his own food as Claire handed it out.

"That's Northwest Texas," Claire shook her head, "Shelly and I are East Texas."

"Ah, yes," Sheldon nodded, "The Gulf region, home to many Vietnamese shrimpers…"

"Do the shrimpers feature in your story?" Leonard cut in, not wanting Sheldon to get off topic and into yet another story on top of the one they'd have to hear about.

"No."

"Which one is this, Shelly?" Claire wondered, knowing a fair few of his stories.

"When I was eight," Sheldon turned to her as she sat on the armrest beside him, "The Montgomery-Ward delivery van."

"Oh," she breathed sadly, a frown on her face as though she were remembering exactly that story, "Lucky."

"What's lucky about it?" Leonard eyed them, not understanding why she looked so sad about something 'lucky.'

"No, Lucky was my family's cat," Sheldon turned back to Leonard and Howard, "The truck ran him over. While others, such as Claire, mourned Lucky…"

"He was such a sweet kitty," Claire murmured in nostalgia.

"I realized his untimely demise provided me with the opportunity to replace him with something more suited to my pet needs," Sheldon continued, "A faithful companion that I could snuggle with at night, and yet would be capable of killing upon telepathic command."

"So, not a puppy?" Howard eyed him oddly.

Claire chuckled at that, "Oh, Shelly would never go for something so ordinary," she gave Sheldon a fond look, "He wanted a griffin."

Leonard blinked, "…a griffin?'

"Yes, half eagle, half lion," Sheldon nodded.

"And mythological," Leonard pointed out.

But Sheldon just waved that off, "Irrelevant. See, I was studying recombinant DNA technology and I was confident I could create one, but my parents were unwilling to secure the necessary eagle eggs and lion semen. Course my sister got swimming lessons when she wanted them."

It had somewhat worked out for the best though, he HAD gotten a griffin...for a birthday present, from Claire. She'd made him a little stuffed animal version of a griffin. It was always easier to get him a birthday gift when he was refused something by his parents, it gave her a chance to see what he wanted and come up with some way to give it to him in some form.

"Sheldon, not that we don't all enjoy a good lion semen story, what's your point?" Howard sighed.

"My point is, if Koothrappali is moving on to a new life of shallow, undeserved fame, perhaps this is an opportunity to create a better cohort."

"You want to breed a new friend?" Leonard stared at him.

"That's one option, but who has the time? But consider this, the Japanese, they're doing some wonderful work with artificial intelligence, now, you combine that with some animatronics from the imagineers over at Disney, next thing you know, we're playing Halo with a multi-lingual Abraham Lincoln!"

Claire let out a soft chuckle at that and patted his shoulder lightly for a moment, Sheldon did have the wildest imagination she knew.

"Sheldon, don't take this the wrong way, but, you're insane," Howard deadpanned.

"Oh he's not," Claire defended, taking a bite of her food, the lo mein this time, "His mama had him tested."

"Good to know," Leonard muttered, before sighing, "He does have a point though," he looked at Howard, "It wouldn't kill us to meet some new people."

Sheldon shook his head, "For the record, it could kill us to meet new people. They could be murderers, or the carriers of unusual pathogens…"

"If we do get a new friend, he should be a guy you can trust," Leonard mused, "A guy who has your back."

"And he should have a lot of money, and live in a cool place down by the beach where we could throw parties," Howard nodded.

"He should share our love of technology," Sheldon agreed.

"And have some female friends too," Claire threw in, "What?" she smirked when the other three looked at her, "You get another male friend, that leaves Penny and I outnumbered."

Leonard nodded, that did make sense, and, well, more women around couldn't hurt, "Yeah, let's see, money, women, technology, ok we're agreed, our new friend is going to be Iron Man!"

Claire laughed at that, "So would Penny or I be Pepper?"

"Penny," Sheldon answered, not catching the rhetorical tone of the question.

"What?" Leonard frowned at him, "Why would Penny be Pepper?"

Sheldon rolled his eyes as though the answer should be obvious, "Pepper is Tony Stark's partner. Claire is mine. I don't share."

Claire couldn't help but smile at that, "Did you just call me your sidekick, Shelly?" she teased.

"Partner," he shook his head, looking at her, "I said partner. Though you DID make an excellent Batgirl that one Halloween…"

"I still say she's her own hero, not Batman's sidekick," Claire huffed.

Leonard and Howard just exchanged odd looks, watching on as Claire and Sheldon proceeded to get into a heated debate about what defined a sidekick and whether Batgirl qualified as one.

Leonard, however, couldn't help but look more at Sheldon, the man's words lingering in his head. He wondered if Sheldon even realized that he'd implied Claire was more to him than just a partner…because Pepper Potts, while Tony Stark's partner…was also his love interest.

Probably not.

This was SHELDON after all.

If he said partner, he meant partner.

~8~

"Pen?" Claire called from the couch the next morning, keeping far away from the kitchen as Penny did her best to try and scrape the coffee out of the mugs they'd been poured into.

Apparently, Penny hadn't had a great time with Raj. The man had been so arrogant and drunk that he'd spent the entire night making remarks that left Penny both angry and uncomfortable, before trying to drunkenly introduce her to his parents as his girlfriend or something. She'd spent the better part of the night complaining about it to Claire who had gotten up early to try and make Penny some coffee, knowing she'd have a bit of a hangover…the only way Penny had made it through the night was to get buzzed and then drink more once she'd gotten back home.

Unfortunately, she'd somehow managed to turn the coffee into sludge that had gotten so thick that it was sticking to the inside of the mugs.

"Yeah?" Penny winced, turning off the scalding hot water of her faucet as she tried to soak the mugs.

Claire just nodded at the door, where a shadow could be seen under the doorway, moments before a small note was trying to be slid under it.

Penny strode over to it, pulling it open to see Raj just outside it, "Raj, what are you doing?" the man stood and tried to hand her the note instead, "No," she crossed her arms, "No notes. If you have something to say to me, say it."

Raj opened his mouth several times, really trying to say something, making rather inhumane noises that Claire had never heard before…until a very high-pitched and squeaky, "Sorry," slipped past his mutism.

"Oh, sweetie, it's ok," Penny smiled at him, proud of him for managing even a single word to her, before she stepped closer and hugged him.

Claire leaned over, letting out a small huff when she saw Leonard stepping out of his apartment and stopping at the sight of Penny, in her night clothes, hugging Raj before the man turned to leave. She didn't even need to guess where Leonard's mind had gone.

Penny, though, seemed to not notice as she stepped back and shut the door.

"Oh Pen," Claire sighed, shaking her head with a small smile.

"What?" Penny smiled back.

Claire's eyes narrowed at that, "You knew Leonard was there?"

"Maybe," Penny shrugged and moved to sit beside her, "Hey," she defended, "Raj was a grade-A jerk, yeah, but he made a discovery that people in his field thought was important, and they should have supported their friend more. Leonard can deal with a little suggestion there. HE could have gone with me and Raj."

Claire shook her head at that, "You are a devious woman, sugar."

Penny put both hands to her heart, an exaggerated smile on her face as though Claire had just said the sweetest thing, "Thank you!"

A/N: Lol, so Claire is to Sheldon what Pepper is to Tony huh? Hmm...I wonder if he'll ever realize exactly WHAT he implied there ;) I'm laughing a little imagining what Penny would have done/said if she'd been there to hear that one. Or at least what she'd have thought after discovering who Pepper is to Iron Man ;)

Also! I've put a poll up on my profile for the pairing name for Sheldon and Claire :) It'll be up until the next chapter of the story so head on over and vote ;) I'll announce the winner next chapter and we'll have our official pairing name for them :D It may take an hour or two to actually show up on my profile though as I put it up just before posting this chapter, but it should be there soon ;)

Some notes on reviews...

Oh Claire will have quite the time trying to figure out which comic books from her own collection to have Stan Lee sign ;) Imagining how indecisive she is normally, and having to pick just ONE comic book makes for a very interesting time ;)

Understandable :) There are definitely a few episodes I was like 'why?' during that made it a little odd to write the chapter for :)

I'm really glad you liked the chapter! That was always my biggest thing with the show, how Sheldon takes cues and things, because you can just see at times Leonard and the others getting annoyed, almost like they don't understand that it really is something Sheldon struggles with and not something he does just to annoy them :( Claire being there will help keep that in check ;) My book is called 'Patrapolis' on Amazon, the penname is Elixabeth Xavier (as a tribute to my penname here :))

Oh yeah, that's happening. But I just don't get my brother, because, for one he's already tried to call off the wedding 2 times (literally demanded the ring back and another time the deposit to the reception hall back), but decides to 'give her a chance' every single time and she's fine for like a month or two, then annoys him again, and it starts all over :/ He even literally told my mother, when she asked what is it about her that he loves so much he wants to marry her, and he said 'Her personality when she's not being a bitch.' Like that was his legit answer, but given that's half her personality, there was absolutely nothing else he wants to marry her for? :/ He's also lied to her about rejoining our town's fire department, she cannot stand when he goes racing (he has a very low quality racecar) in tournaments which he loves to do, and he's hiding the fact that he bought a motorcycle from her so that, and in his exact words, the next time she annoys him or fights with him he can tell her about it so she'll want to call off the wedding. I really have 0 idea what's going on there :/ Sorry for the little rant, it's just like every person in my family knows he's making a mistake with this but he's set to spite us or 'prove us wrong' and we know that it really will not work. We've known him all his 26 years of life, we know how he is, what it's like to live with him, and she doesn't...but he won't accept that it likely won't work :( And we want him to be happy, but she makes him miserable (and he's even admitted, repeatedly, that she makes him miserable). -sigh- As for the story, oh Claire will only stop hitting Howard with something when he stops being so creepy...and she will mourn the loss of that little thing they do when he settles down down the road lol. I guess she'll have to find something else to hit him for ;)

Claire had her reasons for allowing Sheldon to put Penny on the online dating sight ;) Part of it was that she could see Sheldon wanted to try and get Penny out of her addiction, whether it was from how unhealthy it was and he felt even the tiniest bit guilty or that Penny was just annoying him that much, the fact that Sheldon was trying something to snap Penny out of it made her want to just let him try. It was also that she saw that Leonard wasn't getting through to Penny and desperate times call for desperate measures. If it did work, she still had no doubt that, at some point, Penny would break up with the guy and be free to date Leonard, because she had gone on a date or two after Leonard but they hadn't worked out. It was also partly that she doubted it would actually work. Because, if Leonard couldn't get through to her, it was doubtful a complete stranger would, sort of thing ;) She is still very much team Penny/Leonard ;)

Claire didn't step in more because she hasn't really had a lot of experience with people getting addicted to games and usually, those that did, were men. She knows what to do if Sheldon gets addicted, but how Sheldon is and how Penny is are two very different things and the tactics for one don't work on the other. She's also going on what she knows of Penny and her interests, her interests (as far as she knows Penny) being men. I think her no sex rule for the guys is that they know Penny and they know she's in a vulnerable place and that would be way too much like taking advantage of her. She doesn't want them or Penny to risk their friendships over that. Also, there was no guarantee that the dating site would lead to immediate sex. To Claire, it was a vague hope of just getting Penny away from the game for an hour or two, to reconnect with human beings and remind her of life outside the game. A stranger might have a better chance of getting through to Penny when those closest to her couldn't, because their efforts weren't working. Claire is very much team Penny/Leonard, but she's also lacking in relationship departments, which is why Penny is there to help her. She doesn't want to push Penny and Leonard together, because she doesn't really know how other than to support them. Penny is the more devious one when it comes to that lol ;) Penny and Leonard aren't together yet, Penny has gone on dates with other men, she might have sex with other men before she and Leonard reconnect, but she always had faith that Penny and Leonard would reconnect one day. So a temporary thing from a dating site wasn't world ending to Claire, if it helped Penny she was willing to try anything. It was half, if it helps try it even though it probably won't work, and half it won't work because even Leonard couldn't get through to her sort of thing. She doubted it would work, but hoped it would do enough to get Penny out and about again...so she could end up back with Leonard eventually ;)

I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far :) Unfortunately I have it on my profile that I'm not really planning to ever do a HIMYM story. I just couldn't really get into the show so I don't see any OCs popping up for that show at the moment, sorry!