18+
XLI
When I get out the shower and come downstairs, Edward's gone, but my friends remain, sprawled out across my room like it belongs to them.
Jasper is in his spot on the couch, but now Alice is on top of him and Rose and Emmett are in the armchair, Emmett's eyes closed as he runs his hands up and down her back.
I stare at them, hating that I wish he was still here.
Hating that it feels emptier without him in the room.
Hating it's my fault he's gone.
Nobody says anything to me, but Alice gets up off Jasper and shoves me towards him.
He holds out his arms and I nestle into his side, pressing my face against his neck.
Alice sits on the floor and runs her hands through my hair softly, talking about this and that, like nothing happened earlier, like Edward was never here, like I'm not broken.
Jasper sighs in my ear and then kisses my head. 'Why?'
His voice is low and quiet and only for me.
It could be a hundred why's, but I know exactly which one he's asking.
Why did you run?
Rose and Emmett are muttering quietly to each other and Alice doesn't stop talking either.
It could be a perfect coincidence, but I know this moment was planned.
'I'm scared.' I say under my breath.
'Why?' He asks again, his breath warm against my ear.
I press my face into him harder, feeling my eyes burn.
Jasper hums. 'You should talk to him.'
Everything around us continues as normal but my heart stops in my chest.
I don't know what that means. I don't know how to respond to it.
What did he tell them?
Are they suddenly okay with him now?
I lift my head from Jasper's neck to search his eyes for an answer, but all I see is calming, comforting, crystal blue.
I frown and he lifts an eyebrow.
Alice's talking grows more impassioned, '-and I don't even know where to start on this literature assignment. Jas doesn't care, of course, and he's the only other one in that class with me. I mean what kind of halfwit assigns a play like Oleanna to a bunch of high school students. Nobody gets it, and frankly, the only descent moment is when he calls her a cunt, the rest is utter dribble.'
Jasper looks past me, his eyes sparkling as he stares at Alice, and my heart lurches, because that look in his eye, I know it, I recognise it.
My chest feels like someone's taken a hammer and struck hard, splintering bone, shards piercing everything, destruction and pain and so much feeling.
I want you.
You feel so fucking right.
I need you so badly I can't fucking bear it.
You're all I fucking thing about.
Why are you so scared of this?
Do you want me to not have a girlfriend?
I miss you.
I always fucking want you.
I only know how to feel when I'm with you.
Baby…
She knows how I feel about her.
Crystal blue locks onto mine again, this time with a knowing glint and I drop my head back to his neck, squeezing my eyes shut like it can somehow block everything.
I don't know how to deal with this.
So, I don't.
A/N I know a lot of you think Edward is the bad guy in this story, but...is he? Or is he just hopelessly in love with a girl who doesn't seem to give a fuck about him?
