18+
XLIII
Jasper drags me off my bed, scoops me up and then practically throws me in the shower, turning it on and leaving me standing there, fully clothed and gasping as the hot water slams down on my head and shoulders.
'Open.' He orders, placing a pill in my mouth when I oblige.
He turns around and slams the bathroom door. I hear the thump of his back against it and sigh, staring at the wall. After a while I feel a weightlessness start in my chest and I strip off my clothes, suddenly uncomfortable with how tangled my hair feels, how stiff my limbs are. They hit the floor with a heavy thud and I close my eyes as the water pounds against my bare skin.
I wash my hair and my body, starting to enjoy the sensation of the hot water, the steam rising up and painting the lights opaque. Whether the slight elevation in my mood is the drug he gave me or just the shower, I don't know.
I don't care.
When I get out, Jasper waits with his back turned while I get dressed, then drags me downstairs and gently shoves me in a chair, slamming a bowl of cereal on the table in front of me.
'Why are you so mad at me?' I voice as the metal spoon scrapes the side of the bowl, ringing in the silent space.
I don't eat.
'Because I don't understand why you're doing this to yourself.' Jasper sighs, sitting down across from me and searching my eyes. 'Why won't you just talk.'
I scoff, pushing the bowl away from me. 'Don't be a hypocrite.'
His eyes narrow, 'I might be quiet, but I speak when I need to fucking speak Bella. You don't.' I sigh at him. 'Do you want to know what he said?'
'No.' I say boredly. 'I don't.'
Jasper stands up and kicks my kitchen chair across the room so hard it breaks into pieces, the loud splinter making me blink in surprise.
I've never seen him so angry before.
'You don't get to just break.' Jasper snaps.
'So… you broke my chair?' I comment, arching a brow at him.
His lips twitch.
I lean back in my chair and swallow. 'You want me to talk, but what do you want me to fucking say?'
Jasper leans against my fridge crossing his arms. 'How you're feeling?'
I laugh humourlessly. 'I feel…nothing.'
'Then how do you feel about him?'
I inhale sharply, choosing not to answer that. 'He has a girlfriend.' I note, meeting Jasper's eyes. 'Or did you forget that part?'
'Did you forget the part where he doesn't give a fuck about said girlfriend?' Jasper asks me, raising an eyebrow.
I cross my arms. 'So he says, but he's still with her.'
'Don't act like that has anything to do with it. We both know even if he didn't, you'd still be like this,' his words cut me like glass, too true, too sharp. 'So does he,' he adds, his crystal blue eyes meeting mine.
I sit up, 'How much have you spoken to him exactly?'
Jasper shrugs, 'I vetted.'
I stand up, feeling something hot blaze in my belly, 'Why?' I practically hiss.
'Because he loves you,' Jasper states sharply. 'Because you won't let him.'
I walk back a few steps and drop to the floor, my knees giving out under me. 'He said that?'
'No.' Jasper walks over to me and kneels in front of me. 'But since when do I have to ask to know these things. It's how I know you love him too.'
'I dislike you. Immensely.' I mutter.
Jasper laughs, moving to sit next to me.
I lean my head against his shoulder, sighing. 'You've been spending too much time around Alice.'
Jasper snorts, 'Oh?'
'You won't fucking shut up.' I tease.
Jasper kisses my head. 'I told you. I speak when I need to speak. Nobody else has the balls to call you out on your bullshit.'
We're silent for a while and I begrudgingly accept the crackers he plies me with, even though they taste like carboard.
'Will you come to school tomorrow?' Jasper finally asks. 'You don't have to talk to him, but you can't stay here like this.'
I sigh. 'Fine.'
We don't talk the rest of the evening, but he doesn't leave my side.
