A Rather Tumultuous Homecoming

The sun had risen fully and there was not a cloud in the beautiful azure sky. Izumo and Kotetsu were on gate duty thanks largely to an insensitive comment about the Fire Daimyo's wife and her pet caring capabilities, or lack thereof. Not that either was complaining it was, after all, an excuse to laze around most of the day. "Okay I'm thinking of a number," Kotetsu said to Izumo.

"No," Izumo replied.

"It's between one and ten," Kotetsu continued leaning on his chair's back legs.

"No, we're on duty," Izumo said with a sigh.

"Come on I'll give you a hint," Kotetsu tried egging on Izumo.

"It's six and a half," Izumo said. "Sit straight someone's coming," the chunin continued as he pushed down on Kotetsu's chair causing it to slam into the ground. Sure enough two people were walking up the road heading towards them. The pair, a kid and an older man, were whistling a jaunty tune and the younger of the pair was actually skipping. As they came closer more details could be made out. The boy had blonde hair and shockingly blue eyes, was wearing an agonizingly orange jumpsuit, and had a pair of goggles strapped to his forehead, but his most intriguing feature was the set of three whisker-like marks on each of his cheek. The older man had black hair that was long enough to cover his dark brown eyes that held more experience than his age implied. He was wearing worn traveler clothes that might have been a color at some point, and a heavily patched cloak. Both were wearing heavily stuffed backpacks with a sheathed sword dangling from their sides.

"Morning," the pair said as they approached the two chunin on guard at the gate.

"Identification," Izumo said before Kotetsu could launch into a conversation and delay doing his job.

"Of course," the adult said as he handed two sets of identity papers over to Izumo.

"Ziren Adair and Menma Narumaru?" Izumo read off the papers.

"Those're our names don't wear'em out," the now identified Menma said sporting a kilowatt smile.

"Reason for visiting, and length of stay?" Izumo said looking over the papers.

"Mediator for a negotiation, and indeterminate. But probably no more than a week," Ziren responded.

"And to feast on local ramen. That's very important," Menma interjected.

"Yes, yes, and to eat of course," Ziren said rolling his eyes.

"Are you armed?" Izumo asked trying to bring the questioning back around. Ziren turned his head toward the obvious sword hanging from his backpack for a solid minute before bringing his attention back to Izumo.

"No sir, whatever could make you think that," Ziren replied in a flat sarcastic voice.

"I have to ask," Izumo sighed while Kotetsu guffawed.

"Relax, relax, I'm just giving you a hard time. Here have a gummy bear," Ziren said as he pulled out a small plastic bag and offered it to the pair. Kotetsu reached in and pulled out a handful before Izumo could tell them they couldn't accept gifts while on duty. "I've been through enough customs checkpoints to know the drill. Here, an itemized list of anything that can be construed as a weapon or inflict serious bodily harm."

Izumo went carefully over the list while Kotetsu looked over his shoulder. "Would you like to look through it?" Ziren said as he hefted his backpack onto the counter.

"Oh wait I almost forgot. I have exploding tags!" Menma yelled out proudly.

"Why the hell do you have exploding tags?" Ziren asked as he face-palmed. "What have I told you about making those? You're going to blow yourself up."

"I'll need to see those," Izumo said sharply as he and Kotetsu both went on guard.

"Of course," Menma replied happily while pulling out a pile of small paper rectangles and presenting them proudly to Izumo. "I drew them myself."

"I swear. I can't believe that shinobi taught you how to draw them," Ziren said his hand still firmly pressed to his face. Izumo and Kotetsu looked over them carefully but almost instantly saw something wrong.

"These won't work kid," Kotetsu said holding one of the tags up.

"What?" Menma's face fell.

"Yea these things wouldn't spark let alone explode. You really need to work on your penmanship," Kotetsu said as he applied chakra to the tag which glowed briefly than nothing.

"Regardless we'll have to confiscate them anyway," Kotetsu said reverting back to being relaxed now that the danger had passed.

"Yes and Menma will be more than happy to give you all the explosive tags he has on him," Ziren smiled at the pair while pushing Menma's head down into a bow. Grumbling Menma fished through his pockets before pulling out more explosive tag duds. "I said all of them," Ziren said glaring at Menma. Groaning the orange kid reached into his sleeve and pulled out a few more. "Good now apologize for making the shinobi worried."

"I'm sorry," Naruto apologized.

"Now tell them you won't be drawing any more, and that you won't be having ramen while we're in the village as punishment." Ziren commanded

"What?!" Menma shouted opening and closing his mouth like a landed fish.

"I told you those were dangerous. Obviously you need a more practical lesson to punch that through that thick skull of yours," Ziren finished by bopping Menma on the head.

Rubbing his head Menma turned to Izumo and Kotetsu and repeated what Ziren said. Izumo looked a little pitying at the boy who had been so excited to eat ramen, while Kotetsu grinned at not being the one who was being scolded for a change. "Anyway," Izumo said after Menma finished talking. "You're clear to enter. Welcome to Konoha."

"Thank you gentleman and have a good day," Ziren said as put on his backpack and escorted a dejected looking Menma into the village. Menma continued looking dejected until after getting out of sight of the gate before sporting a toothy grin.

"I can't believe how that always works," he said smirking. "As if I would make a mistake on an explosive tag."

"It's all about expectations Naruto. So long as you can subvert they're expectations there's nothing that can't be accomplished," Ziren said as he popped a few gummy bears into his mouth. "And what do you mean not making a mistake? How many sets of clothes do you think you went through figuring the matrices out? I still have the receipts."

"Details, details," the now rightfully identified Naruto said waving away his sensei's concerns. "Come on lets go get some ramen," he shouted before running off.

"Be careful," Ziren shouted after the youth.

Turning his head back Naruto shouted "You worry too mu-," 'THUMP', Naruto was interrupted when he ran into something rather soft but solid. Pin wheeling his arms Naruto managed to maintain his balance, the person he ran into was not so lucky. Said unlucky person was a girl but the only thing he could make out was blue hair and a cream colored jacket. Seeing that he ran into somebody he extended his and started to apologize. "Heh, heh, sorry about that I wasn't watching where I was goi...," Naruto was rendered speechless when the girl he had run into looked up at him. Her lavender eyes, though pupiless, held a gentle warmth that Naruto couldn't look away from.

"S-sorry," The girl stuttered, a blush dusting her cheeks, as she reached out and took Naruto's offered hand. "I-I wasn't p-paying at-tention."

"N-no, it was my fault I wasn't looking where I was going," Naruto said as he pulled the girl to her feet. "I'm always running into things, heh, heh," Naruto said rubbing the back of his head.

"Well ain't this cute," Ziren said causing Naruto and the girl to nearly jump out of their skin.

"Jeez, don't sneak up on me Sensei," Naruto said trying to get his heart rate to go back down.

"I wasn- no, you know what never mind," Ziren hoisted his pack and continued walking down the road. "You know the drill. Try to keep out of trouble please." He stopped and looked back at the pair for a second before smirking and continuing down the street. "Oh and I'm sure that girl has places she needs to be so you should probably let her go," Ziren yelled over his shoulder.

The pair stood there puzzling over Ziren's words when, as one, they looked down and saw that they were still holding hands. They looked up, briefly meeting each other's eyes, before quickly pulling their hands away. "Again sorry I ran into you," Naruto apologized again. "Name's Naruto Uzumaki," Naruto introduced himself giving one of his trademark grins. 'Crap! I'm supposed to go by Menma. Play it cool, play it cool.'

"H-Hinata Hyῡga," Hinata said a small smile gracing her lips, what could she say? Naruto's smile is infectious.

"I'm new to town do you know any good ramen stands around her," Naruto asked cheerily.

"S-sorry b-but I n-need to go," Hinata stuttered out making to run down the street remembering why she had been running in the first place. Before she could though, a voice cut across the hubbub of the crowding streets.

"Lady Hinata! Lady Hinata! Where are you!?" Hinata panicked and started looking for a place to hide.

"You trying to hide from someone?" Naruto asked rather dumbly. Hinata started panicking even more and worried he would ask why. She wasn't even sure herself, she just felt like being away from her fellow clansmen. "Cool," Naruto said grabbing her hand, causing Hinata to 'eep', rather cutely Naruto thought, and pulled her to the side of the street. He then threw his arm around her shoulder, causing a rather impressive blush, and formed his other hand into a hand sign and began concentrating, muttering something under his breath.

Worrying that her handler, Kō, would find her, and wondering why Naruto was holding her, rather intimately, opened her mouth to ask why they were in this position. That was when she felt it. As if someone had hollowed her out leaving her a husk, empty. But it was more than just that. Time seemed to dilate, colors became muted, washed out, and sounds turned unintelligible as if coming from a great distance and through a wall. Air gained a weight to it, like breathing in molasses. She saw the crowds on the street but felt separated from them as though she could reach out and her hand would pass right through them. Only Naruto remained unchanged, remained real. Then she spotted Kō. He was scanning the crowd looking for her. Hinata's heart stopped when he looked directly at her, but his eyes kept moving, like she wasn't there and he continued on.

Colors became sharper, sounds became clearer, air regained its weightlessness, and time resumed it's natural pace as the world returned back to focus. Feeling dizzy Hinata wobbled on her feet before finally collapsing to the ground followed quickly by Naruto. "Hah, hah, hah, that took more out of me than I thought it would," Naruto panted out.

"W-what was t-that?" Hinata asked dizzily.

"A secret technique," Naruto smiled cheekily. "I'm not allowed to use it unless Sensei gives me permission, but I figured you needed help."

"W-won't y-you get in t-trouble?" Hinata asked worriedly not wanting anyone to get into trouble because of her.

"Not if it's our secret," Naruto said smiling conspiratorially. Hinata became light-headed again but not because she was recovering from whatever technique Naruto used, but because nobody ever went this far out of their way for her. Even her father considered her a failure and not worth expending time on her. Naruto, on the other hand, had just met her and was helping her, even if that meant getting in trouble himself. She was about to try and thank him but was interrupted, loudly, by her rumbling stomach causing a new blush to appear on her face. The song her stomach was singing became a duet when Naruto's stomach added its voice.

"Heh, heh, that technique makes people hungry as a side effect. I don't know why, Sensei won't tell me," Naruto said standing back up. "Let's go get something to eat," Naruto said holding his hand out to Hinata.

Hinata had decided to run away from her handler on a whim. She didn't want to go back to the compound, to all the indifferent stares judging her, claiming her as worthless. Here she met a complete stranger who had not only gone completely out of their way but made her feel accepted with such a simple gesture. So when she saw Naruto's extended hand there wasn't anything she wanted to do more than grab a hold of it. And she did just that.


Ziren, who was normally a very confident get things done type of person, was extremely nervous. Before him stood the Hokage Tower the nerve center of the most powerful hidden village in the Elemental Nations and his point of no return. Years spent meticulously staying out of politics, wars, and other conflicts about to go straight down the drain. Taking a deep breath and grabbing the hilt of his sword using its solidity to steady himself. Ziren moved forward and entered the tower.

Leaving his pack behind at the hotel left him feeling naked, but he needed to be mobile, just in case. Steeling himself he put on a cocky smirk and approached the Hokage's elderly secretary. "Greetings I would like to see the Hokage."

"Do you have an appointment?" she asked not even looking up.

"Unfortunately not, but I do have something he needs to see rather urgently," Ziren replied cheerily pulling out a small photograph out of his pocket and placing it on the desk.

The secretary, having served the Hokage for almost fifteen years now, had heard all the possible reasons some nobody thought that they "needed" to see the most important man in the village immediately. She was about to send the upstart walking when she saw the photograph he placed on the table. It was of a youth approximately seven years old wearing an orange t-shirt and blue shorts smiling and giving a victory sign to the camera. But that wasn't what caught her eye. Oh no, no, no, that would be his blue eyes, blonde hair and most importantly the three whisker-like marks on each of his cheeks. There could be no mistake it was the demon brat who had gone missing eight years ago. A night she would always remember due to the immense blood lust emanating from the Hokage's office.

But the kid went missing when he was four and the picture showed him older than that. The realization of what that meant hit her like a ton of bricks. This man had seen the demon kid after he went missing. She looked back and forth between the picture and the swordsman standing before her trying to get her brain working again. Something like this was way beyond her pay grade. Without saying a word she stood ramrod straight and bolted towards the Hokage's office.

Giving a sigh of relief that the first part of his plan was working Ziren took a seat and waited. He could sense the surge of emotions coming from the office as well as ANBU moving around him getting into position to attack if they should be ordered to. So far so good. About a minute later the secretary walked robotically out and turned towards him. "He will see you now," she said mechanically. Ziren stood up bowed to the terrified secretary before leaping out of the frying pan and straight into the fire.

The Hokage was glaring at him the moment he stepped through the door. If looks could kill, Ziren would have burst into flames the moment he entered the office. "I will warn you right now, if this is a waste of my time I will not act mercifully," the Hokage said.

"I assure you the information I have is well worth your time. The name's Ziren Adair an honor to meet you," Ziren said jovially extending his hand towards Hiruzen.

"Where did you get this picture," Hiruzen cut straight to the point ignoring the outstretched hand.

"I took it myself of course," Ziren replied taking a seat when he realized that a handshake was not incoming. "I was the one who took him from the village after all."

"What?" Hiruzen's façade briefly broke at the straightforward answer. Ziren could see the gears in his head turning piecing everything together. "You admit to kidnapping Naruto Uzumaki." It was not a question.

"I did not kidnap anybody," Ziren's jovial tone dropped from his voice. "I saw a four-year old boy wearing rags in the snow and decided to give him a better life."

"You think that's all he was, a simple four-year orphan?" Hiruzen asked losing hold on his anger.

"Of course not, he's the Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi." Ziren replied simply. "I knew the moment I saw him."

Hiruzen was reeling at this point. The man responsible for what he considered one of his greatest failures was sitting before him calmly talking about it like he was discussing the weather. Trying to get a hold of his emotions Hiruzen tried asking questions to make this whole thing make sense. "How did you know?"

"I'm a sensor, but not just any sensor. I'm the best goddamn sensor you'll ever meet," Ziren replied proudly. "His seal is very well made though I had to concentrate in order to feel what was underneath."

"So you kidnapped Naruto knowing he was our Jinchuuriki. And just dammed the consequences," Hiruzen said through gritted teeth leaking killer intent.

"I. Did. Not. Kid. Nap. Him." Ziren enunciated each syllable releasing his own killing intent. "Kidnapping implies I took him from somewhere safe. I can tell you without exaggeration or hyperbole that I gave Naruto a better life than he ever could have had here."

"Who are you to make that call?!" Hiruzen all but shouted.

"A Four-year old child thrown out into the cold with barley even a blanket. Adults calling him a monster and telling their kids to hate him. All because their beloved hero picked him out of a crowd. You'd be lucky if he didn't try to release the Kyuubi just so he could watch this wretched village burn." Ziren said putting as much venom into his voice.

Hiruzen took a breath to argue back but as the man's words sunk in he deflated. He was right, he was absolutely right. After Naruto's disappearance Hiruzen did a little digging and discovered all the mistreatment aimed toward Naruto, more than a few heads rolled because of it. Hiruzen wanted to be angry at this man who had nearly thrown the village into disarray but found that he couldn't muster any true rage. "If this place is so wretched why are you here?" Hiruzen asked looking and feeling his advanced age.

Ziren took a deep breath centering himself, he had let his emotions get the better of him and that was helping no one, least of all Naruto who the person this whole thing was for anyway. "Let me put this on the table up front. I didn't choose Konoha because it was the best choice. I chose Konoha because it was the least terrible choice." At the Hokage's raised eyebrow Ziren continued. "As Naruto has matured the seal has, for lack of a better term, evolved. Over the years it has started releasing more and more of the Kyuubi's chakra into his system. I can't help him alone."

"Has it affected his personality," Hiruzen asked concerned.

"No. The changes are still subtle. Even Naruto himself doesn't know," Ziren said calmly.

"And you want our expertise so you can help him," Hiruzen finished. The aging kage wanted with all his heart to simply give Ziren everything he needed to help Naruto, to try and rectify his mistake. But he was the Hokage first and Hiruzen Sarutobi second, he had to put the village first. "Why should I help you? I can just order my ANBU to find Naruto, have ROOT brainwash him into becoming loyal, and have you killed. In fact I can order all that with a wave of my hand. And just so you know you are-"

"Surrounded by six ANBU agents with eight more on the floor below us, and another dozen outside. I told you, I'm the best goddamn sensor you've ever met. It would be in your best interest to not underestimate me." Ziren interrupted the Hokage. "I have raised Naruto. He IS my son and I will do anything for him.

Hiruzen had to admit he was impressed. Not only did he get the count perfect but his will was adamant. He meant every word.

"And as for why you shouldn't give that signal? I have set up a system with Naruto that when I release a signal only he could see, he is to flee. He can be quite slippery and catching him would be no easy feat. As for why you should help me? I could appeal to your emotional side saying you could fix your mistake." Ziren was pleased to see the Hokage flinch at this and continued. "But I am a merchant and understand give and take. I wish for Naruto to join Konoha as a shinobi per his natural-born citizenship and I wish to join as well per enemy defection law." Ziren finished explaining waiting to see the kage's reaction.

Hiruzen was stunned for what felt like the umpteenth time today. First this man takes Naruto out of the village but now, not only is he bringing him back, but also wishes to join the village. "You want to join?" Hiruzen asked dumbly.

"Did I stutter?" Ziren replied

"Why us? Why not join any of the other villages?" Hiruzen asked trying to buy time to order his thoughts.

"As I said you're the least terrible choice. None of the lesser villages would have the necessary information or experience. Kiri is in the middle of a civil war. Kumo has some practices that I truly despise and would likely throw Naruto into their breeding program due to his Uzumaki heritage. Suna treats their Jinchuuriki worse than you do. And joining Iwa would likely trigger a war when they learn you don't have your Jinchuuriki." Ziren explained

Having put his thoughts into a coherent train Hiruzen got a slight confidence boost from the backhanded praise. "How familiar are you with defection law?" Hiruzen asked

"If you're asking me if I am aware of the requirements that need to be met in order for me to be allowed to join Konoha, then yes, yes I am," Ziren said pulling out a scroll from his pocket and placing it on the table. "Here is a sampler on some information I know. You'd be surprised what a merchant can sniff up." Picking up the scroll Hiruzen perused its contents. When Ziren saw the old man raise his eyebrows he placed his elbows on the Hokage's desk and steepled his fingers saying "Let's talk business," a smirk playing across his face.


"Ah, finally a ramen stand!" Naruto shouted throwing his hands into the air.

Hinata had been wondering why they kept passing up restaurant after restaurant and now she had her answer. Not that she minded Naruto dragging her around, their conversations while walking were interesting. And by conversations she meant Naruto monologued to her while she occasionally gave one word answers. If Naruto minded he didn't show it, besides Hinata really liked his travel stories. They were something out of a fairy tale. All about freedom, adventure, and companionship, things Hinata didn't really have in her life.

"Ramen truly is the food of the gods," Naruto said bringing Hinata out of her self-reflection. "Don't you agree Hinata?"

"I-I've n-never actually had r-ramen before," Hinata stuttered out while pushing her index fingers together. When a reply from Naruto didn't come Hinata looked up to see why. Naruto had a look of abject shock and horror on his face, like she had just told him she kicked puppies for fun. 'Now Naruto thinks I'm some sort of weirdo. Now he probably doesn't want to spend time with me or be my friend. You always say the wrong thing. That's why you don't have any friends.' Her thoughts continued to spiral into self-deprecation until she felt hands land on both her shoulders.

"Y-you've never had ramen before? How can such a tragedy be possible? Quick we must right this terrible wrong as quickly as possible." With that Naruto turned Hinata toward the ramen stand, named Ichiraku by the by, and marched her through the entrance and onto one of the stools before taking one for himself.

"Welcome to Ichiraku," Called out the slightly rotund ramen chef. "Name's Teuchi, what can I get you?"

"My friend Hinata here has never had ramen before," Naruto said with all the solemnity of a funeral service.

"It's a good thing you brought her here then we need to fix this quickly," Teuchi replied equally solemn.

"U-um, I d-don't think t-that not having r-ramen is s-such a b-big d-deal," Hinata timidly interjected. Both Naruto and Teuchi looked at her like she had just stated that the sky was yellow with pink polka-dots.

"It's worse than I thought," Naruto said to Teuchi who nodded sagely. "She needs Ramen now. But I'll have you know that I'm a-uh um what was that word? Coni, no conu, can-no, cannis, connis, dang it Sensei uses it all the time."

"C-connoisseur?" Hinata asked.

"Yes that word," Naruto snapped his fingers. "I'm a carny-sewer of ramen and have tried ramen all over the Elemental Nations. So I can be pretty harsh?"

"Heh, is that a challenge?" Teuchi said rolling his sleeves up. "I'll give you the best ramen you've ever had." Teuchi finished as sparks leaped between Naruto and the chef.

Teuchi turned towards his broth and threw himself into his cooking with a fervor while Naruto continued his monologue to Hinata. Since Hinata hadn't eaten since Naruto did...whatever it was that he did...her stomach growled loudly. Hinata would've been more embarrassed if not for two facts. The first was that Naruto's stomach growled even louder than hers, and the second was that he just laughed it off, making even the shy Hyῡga girl giggle along.

Finally two steaming bowls of ramen were placed before them with a smirking Teuchi crossing his arms. "Well Mr. Connoisseur let's see what you think of this." Maintaining eye contact Naruto snapped apart a pair of disposable chopsticks. Dipping them into his ramen Naruto lifted a healthy portion of his noodles into his mouth before slurping them up. Hinata was a little confused at seeing Naruto so serious. Her puzzling was interrupted when Naruto's eyes widened,

"Holy crap that's good!" and without further ado dived into his ramen throwing manners to the wind.

Seeing that Naruto was so heavily engrossed by his food Hinata thought that she should eat before her ramen got cold. Taking her chopsticks Hinata lifted some noodles to her mouth and quickly bit down on them. Her mouth exploded in salty and savory goodness. Her eyes widened like Naruto's and she quickly followed suit by throwing manners to the wind, though not to the degree Naruto did. Teuchi's smug smirk was growing by the second watching the two kids dig into his cooking. 'Humph, as if anyone else can compete with my ramen.'

Naruto finished his ramen quite quickly and Hinata wasn't too far behind, well for a beginner that is. "Mmmm that was great I'll have another bowl please," Naruto said grinning. "You want one too Hinata?"

Hinata thought about it for a minute, she didn't want Naruto to think she was a glutton, but on the other hand she was still very hungry and the ramen did smell very good. "I-I'll have a-another," She said timidly. She was elated when Naruto gave her a dazzling smile that made her stomach feel fluttery. "Alright another one for Hinata too," Naruto said to Teuchi.

Naruto had just finished his seventh bowl and Hinata her third when they were brought out of their ramen induced euphoria by the sound of shouting. Hinata looked over and saw a man yelling at Teuchi telling him that his ramen was disgusting and not worth his money. "Psst, hey Hinata." Hinata turned towards the whisper and found Naruto's face only a few inches from hers causing her to flinch back and her face to flush.

"Y-yea N-Naruto?"

"Let's prank him," Naruto said sporting a mischievous grin that promised trouble.

"W-what?"

"Come on no one should get away with being that mean to someone that nice," Naruto pleaded. This statement caused an internal debate to start inside her head. On one side was a small Hinata sporting angel wings saying that she would get into trouble with her clan if she behaved in such an unbefitting manner. On the other side was devil Hinata saying it would be so much fun and that this was the kind of stuff friends did together. It wasn't a very even debate as over the years her devil side had been getting louder as the pressure from her clan increased. Being around Naruto was like giving that side of her a megaphone. Looking at the orange clad boy who was waiting expectantly for her answer she steeled herself and replied.

"Let's do it."

And that's how she found herself on a rooftop with a massive water balloon in her hands. She didn't even know they made water balloons that big. Hinata's part in the plan was to throw the balloon at the mean customer after which Naruto would enact the second phase. Naruto, she came to learn, could sense chakra and used his ability to easily track their target down. He was coming, crouching down so as not to be seen Hinata readied her awkward missile. 'Wait for it, wait for it, now!' Hinata lobbed the balloon over the low wall of the roof and quickly ducked down so as not to be seen. A satisfying splash, an indignant shout, and a muffled 'poof' later Hinata made her way to street level where she met up with Naruto.

Seeing that Hinata had made it to street level Naruto grinned and turned her so that she could see their handiwork. The ornery man was soaking wet and covered in fake feathers and glitter giving him the look of a wet peacock. Hinata ducked back into the alley and leaned against the wall trying to suppress her laughter. Naruto didn't bother trying hold back and let loose a huge laugh causing tears to roll down her eyes. Hinata's willpower could only hold for so long and eventually she doubled over laughing too.

"Heh, heh, heh, I knew it." Naruto said trying to relearn to breath.

"K-knew w-what?" Hinata panted out.

"You have a really nice laugh," Naruto said without the least bit of shame. This caused Hinata to invent a new shade of red altogether. Starting to feel lightheaded she had to lean against a wall in order to remain upright. "Hey, Hina you okay? " Naruto asked as he started fussing over her.

"I-I'm f-fine," She stuttered out as the fluttery feeling in her stomach returned with a vengeance. So caught up in remaining conscious she didn't even notice Naruto's familiar term of address.

"Oh good," Naruto said as he released a breath he wasn't aware he was holding. He was very concerned for his new friend. "Are you sure you're fine?"

"Y-Yes," Hinata said standing up straight.

This only caused Naruto's mischievous grin to return even bigger than before. "Good because I have another prank idea," Naruto finished this by holding up a rope and a few pieces of paper. A part of Hinata was worried that she would already get into a huge amount of trouble with her family for what she had already done today and that Naruto was being a bad influence on her, the rest of her told that part to shut up.


"…He knows the Shadow Clone Jutsu...and…that should about cover Naruto's combat capabilities." Ziren finished.

"How does Naruto know the Shadow Clone Jutsu?" Hiruzen asked.

"I taught it to him," Ziren replied simply pulling out a brand new bag of gummy bears.

"How do you know the Shadow Clone Jutsu?" the Hokage asked even more perplexed.

"Years ago I was a member of a caravan being escorted by some Konoha jounin," Ziren replied offering some gummy bears to the aging man.

"And one of these jounin taught it to you?" Hiruzen asked wondering who he needed to have a long and detailed conversation with about this breach in security.

"'Course not. I don't think you quite understand the whole 'best goddam sensor you've ever seen' thing. I saw him use the jutsu, sensed how the chakra worked, observed the hand signs, and figured out how to perform it myself," the perplexing merchant said popping a few pieces of candy into his mouth.

"Just like that? You saw it once and was able to do it?" Hiruzen had been thrown for quite a few curve balls over the course of the negotiation, he should've expected them by now.

"Well I can't do it like the Uchiha, where they see it once and can perform it instantly," Ziren began explaining. "It normally takes me a few weeks to be able to replicate a technique in this manner. And the technique I come up with is usually only a derivative of the original technique. Luckily the Shadow Clone Jutsu is simple and was easily replicate-able. I mean come on it has a hand sign." Hiruzen found this fascinating and was about to inquire what other techniques he had appropriated in this manner when Ziren leaned over in his chair and was staring over the old kage's shoulder.

Turing around Hiruzen was greeted by an unusual sight. What appeared to be a couple of his ninja were frantically running across the roof tops of Konoha, only for them to change direction sharply and run in the opposite direction. Turning to a shadow Hiruzen signaled the ANBU to investigate what was going on. The two men sat there and enjoyed the spectacle of the ninja's running around like headless chickens. Their enjoyment was interrupted when the ANBU returned to report.

"Lord Hokage," The ANBU said bowing. "It seems that a pair of teenagers have gone around and have performed multiple practical jokes. Ranging from drenching a visiting dignitary to vandalizing a storefront with multi-colored paint."

'SMACK'

"You gotta be kidding me." Ziren said through his hand.

"Continue," Hiruzen said to the ANBU glancing at the exasperated merchant. "Some of the victims were shinobi and they gave chase. However the culprits are proving very difficult to catch and have laid traps to humiliate their pursuers. The situation escalated from there."

"What of the pranksters themselves?" Hiruzen asked.

"The culprits have proven most uncanny and have only seemed to be cornered when there was a trap to be sprung. However we have a basic physical description of the two. One seems to be female, around twelve or thirteen year's old, short blue hair and a cream colored jacket. The second one, who seems to be the mastermind, is around the same age, has blonde hair, and is wearing a bright orange jumpsuit." 'THUMP' Ziren's head met the desk with quite a bit of force causing the ANBU and the village leader to stare at man.

"That idiot!" Ziren hissed to himself as he pushed himself up and made his way to the window. "He is in so much trouble, that ungrateful brat!" Opening the window Ziren climbed out and started jumping across the Konoha rooftops. Hiruzen, perplexed at this behavior from the serious man, did the only reasonable thing and followed.


Adrenaline was coursing through Hinata's veins as she and Naruto ran from their pursuers. She couldn't remember the last time she had had this much fun. Sure she was probably going to be in huge trouble with her father later, but Naruto's infectious laugh and the rush of outwitting those that chased them made her not care. Naruto's sensory ability had proved invaluable allowing the wanted pair to easily lose or outmaneuver their pursuers.

Stopping quickly and cocking his head like he was trying listen to something distant, which Hinata had learned meant he was focusing on his chakra sense, grabbed Hinata's hand and tore off in a different direction. "Come on Hinata it's time for the grand finale," Naruto shouted giving her his biggest smile yet.

"O-okay," She answered breathlessly wondering what Naruto had planned.

Hinata was quickly pulled out of her thoughts when the man she had seen walking with Naruto earlier in the day dropped from the sky and slammed his fist into Naruto's head hard enough to send him sprawling into the road giving him a mouthful of dirt. "ONE THING! I ASKED YOU TO DO ONE THING, AND IT WAS NOTHING! HOW DO YOU FAIL AT NOTHING!? AND YOU!?" The man shouted pointing at Hinata scaring her into self-consciousness. "I expect this kind of stupidity out of him what's your excuse!? DON'T ANSWER THAT, IT WAS PURELY A RHETORICAL QUESTION!" The man, whom Hinata remembered from Naruto's many stories as his adoptive sensei, continued shouting while pacing in front of them. It was then that Hinata saw the guy standing behind Ziren. She would recognize him anywhere, the red and white cloak plus the iconic hat made Hinata's heart stop cold. The Hokage himself was standing there watching her get yelled at for going on a pranking spree.

Hinata was petrified as Ziren continued his monologue. She only paid slight attention as Naruto picked himself up off the ground and dusted himself off not the least perturbed he was being yelled at. Naruto knew his Sensei was more exasperated than angry. Catching Hinata's eye Naruto glanced at the girl before giving her a mischievous wink. Hinata saw that he was forming a hand sign with one hand and grabbed his sleeve to stop him. Hinata had fun pranking with Naruto, but enough was enough. Besides the third Hokage was really nice and didn't deserve whatever prank Naruto had planned. The blonde prankster gave Hinata a look asking 'Can I please?' But Hinata was adamant and shook her head. Naruto was disappointed but relaxed his hand anyway.

This exchange did not go unnoticed by Ziren who had stopped his tirade in order to take a breath. He cocked his head to the side for a moment before sighing. "What's your name girl?" Ziren asked sternly.

"H-H-Hin-n-nat-t-," Hinata tried stuttering out. Ziren, getting annoyed that this was taking so long interrupted.

"Back straight, chest out, head up, and ENUNCIATE!"

"Hinata Hyῡga, Sir!" Hinata said without a stutter as she stood straight as a post.

"Well Hinata why did you think following an idiot like him was a good idea?"

Ziren said staring her straight in the eye.

"I-It s-seemed l-like fun," She answered folding back in on herself.

"Fun? Really? And what do you have to say for yourself Naruto?"

"It was fun."

'THWACK'

Naruto was once again face down in the dirt road while Ziren's fist was hovering where Naruto's head use to be. "Of course it was," Ziren said with a sigh. "You know the rules." Ziren pulled out a scroll and unrolled it onto the ground revealing multiple identical sealing matrices. "I hate the fact I have to carry this thing around. Release!" With a poof of smoke a bucket with a mop, a sponge, and various cleaning solution inside it appeared on one of the sealing matrices quickly followed by an identical set on another matrix. Picking both sets of cleaning supplies up Ziren deposited them into Naruto's and Hinata's hands. "Now you two will go and clean up your mess and apologize to everyone you pranked."

"But Sensei, Hinata isn't at fault she tried to talk me out of it don't puni-" Naruto was interrupted as Ziren held his hand up "She helped you execute your practical jokes, she's going to help you clean up," Ziren said in a tone that brooked no argument. "Here is the key to our hotel room at the Konoha Inn, room 106. Go there when you're done." Ziren said as he handed Naruto a key.

Naruto turned to go but before he took a step he felt a hand clamp down on his shoulder hard enough to leave a bruise. Turning Naruto saw the face of his Sensei, but instead of exasperation Naruto saw a coldly simmering anger in his eyes. "Oh and Naruto, be sure to watch your step," Naruto's eyes widened and color drained form his face. "Y-yes S-Sensei," Naruto said a scared quiver in his voice.

"Good, now go." Ziren ordered

Naruto looked so much like his father and acted just like his mother. Hiruzen's heart clenched painfully and the thought that he almost lost the child completely was unbearable. He stayed back and let Ziren berate him, to see how Naruto reacted. In the back of his mind the aging Hokage made a note to get a full report on all of Naruto's pranks today. After Ziren finished yelling at the two kids and sent them off to clean up their mess Ziren released a sigh of kage facing paperwork proportions. "Who is that girl? Poor thing, her clan is going to tear her apart," Ziren said watching the two twelve-year olds walk down the street.

"You don't know the half of it. She's the clan heir," Hiruzen replied dourly.

"Ouch," Ziren flinched.

"Does Naruto normally find a partner in crime in the villages he visits?" Hiruzen asked.

"No, there was something special about this one," Ziren said as rooted through the dirt of the road. "She did something I didn't think was possible." Straitening Ziren presented a piece of paper buried under the road to the third Hokage. "She convinced Naruto not to pull an already set up prank. I haven't even been able to do that and I control his food supply."

"Naruto's idea of a prank is to put explosive tags on a populated street?" Hiruzen asked starting to rethink his negotiations.

"What? No, take a closer look. It's called a paint tag," Ziren said pointing out the differences. "It releases paint instead of fire and death. This particular tag is…chartreuse? Huh, He's getting more specific with his colors. He came up with them trying to learn fuuinjutsu."

"You taught him fuuinjutsu?" Hiruzen asked surprised.

"Oh lord no, my hand writing is atrocious. When he learned that the Uzumaki clan was famous for fuuinjutsu he tried learning it in any way he could; books, pictures, word of mouth, etc. It's quite inspiring actually." Ziren said a little pride in his voice for his apprentice.

Images of teaching Naruto the secrets of his mother's clan filled Hiruzen's head. He almost lost Naruto completely he wouldn't make the same mistake again. Turning to Ziren with a serious expression he began "He is a sensor, a Jinchuuriki, learned the basics of fuuinjutsu on his own, and was able to elude multiple higher level shinobi. I believe he will make a fine addition to the village. Welcome to Konoha," He finished extending his arm to the merchant.

"Thank you Lord Hokage," Ziren said grasping the powerful kage's hand. "You'll be surprised by what travelers like us can do."