18+
XLV
For once, Jasper's not in the bleachers and I throw myself down on the floor, placing my head on my hands.
I want to go home but I didn't drive today.
I feel so confused.
The back of my neck tingles and I sigh. 'How did you explain why you followed me?'
Footsteps come to a stop next to me. 'I just said you'd left your phone and I was going to give it to you.'
'And when you don't come back?'
'I couldn't find you?'
I huff, turning my head to him as he sits down next to me. 'How does she put up with that, with you not touching her?'
Edward shrugs, 'She thinks I have no sex drive? I don't know.' I can't help but snort and Edward's green eyes glint playfully.
I sigh and Edward copies me. 'I told you how I felt about her…that I'm only with her because it's what my parents want. It makes them happy, and that makes my life easier, but if you asked me, I'd end it.'
I don't know what to say to that. So instead, I say, 'I can't be what you want.'
'What is it that you think I want?' Edward asks quietly.
'More.' I mutter.
'And you don't?' His voice is measured, careful.
'No.' I say calmly. 'I just want…this.'
'You want to sit in the bleachers in the cold?' There's a hint of playfulness in his voice and I fight the urge to smile.
'I just want…to fuck.' I lie. 'That's all.'
'We can fuck.' Edward says next to me, something in his voice making heat flare in my belly. I meet smouldering green eyes and he licks his bottom lip. 'Do you want to fuck now Bella?'
I exhale shakily and Edward stands up, taking my hand and pulling me with him as he walks towards the gym.
'Where are we going?' I ask him, frowning.
He doesn't speak, just goes to a side building and puts in a code.
I stare at him in surprise as he pushes the door open, pulling me inside with a smirk, the door clicking shut behind us.
There's football equipment everywhere, but it smells surprisingly clean, the light filtering in from the windows at the ceiling.
'Football captain perks.' Edward says, walking backwards and sitting on the table at the corner of the room. He tilts his head at me as he places his hands on the table, either side of his body, daring me to approach.
I glance at the door and bite my bottom lip. 'What if someone needs something?'
Edward shrugs, smirking at me. 'What if…'
I narrow my eyes at him, 'Edward…'
'Bella.' He says mockingly, arching an eyebrow at me.
I cross my arms. 'What are you doing?'
Edward glances around exaggeratedly, 'Well…it looks like I'm sitting on a table, waiting for my fuck buddy.'
My chest lurches and I take a step back.
Edward's eyes narrow. 'What's the matter?' He asks cuttingly.
I swallow as I realise his eyes weren't smouldering with lust before, it was anger.
I know what he wants from me, but I won't give it to him.
'Don't.' I glare at him. 'You can't manipulate me into-'
'What exactly am I manipulating you into?' Edward's voice is calm, his green eyes blazing as he stares at me. 'This is just about fucking… right? That's all you want me for. You don't need anything else from me. Well, I'm right here. Do you want to fuck, or don't you Bella?'
I almost want to smile. This game…I fucking invented it.
I shrug, 'Fine.'
His eyebrows knit together and then he swallows as I grab my t-shirt and lift it off, throwing it on the floor next to me, my fingers already unclasping my bra.
Edward's eyes darken and drop down to my chest as the material falls away, my nipples hardening in the cooler air. I've barely touched the zip of my jeans before he's on me, his large hand tangling in my hair as he drags my mouth to his.
It's angry, and forceful, from both of us and I bite at his bottom lip as I tug his t-shirt up his body, my lips leaving his to get the material over his head. He kisses me roughly, his arms meeting behind my back as he pulls me flush against him. My lips leave his as I bite his jaw and then his shoulder, panting.
Edward rips my jeans down my legs and then my underwear, leaving me naked in front of him.
Neither of us pause to comment.
I undo his jeans quickly, biting my lip at the low groan he lets out as my hand wraps around his thick cock. He's hot and heavy in my palm, and I want to get to my knees and worship him until he's groaning low, but that's not what this is. He started it.
I'll finish it.
I pull out of his arms and walk over to the table, bending over and placing my hands on it as I turn my head to glance at him over my shoulder.
Something in my chest pangs at the look on his face but he walks up to me anyway and I gasp as his long fingers push inside me. I'm slick for him, just like always. Even in this game my body burns for him and my core aches with need.
I turn my head forwards, unable to bear the look in his eyes.
He stretches me with his fingers until I'm whimpering, then pulls them out, his hands on my hips as he plunges deep inside of me, his thrust knocking the table forward slightly. I lift one hand and bite my fist to stay quiet as he fucks me hard, his low grunts driving me crazy as his fingers sink into my hips. It's been so long since he's been inside of me and I want to turn my head back and look at him, turn around and look into his eyes, but I don't let myself.
He's never fucked me like this before, so detached and mechanical. He fills me with deep strokes, the pace punishing, and even as ecstasy fills me from the feel of him inside me, something in my chest is breaking.
It doesn't take long for me to clench around him and I bite down on my hand as my vision goes white. He follows straight after me, groaning low in his throat as his hips still.
He pulls out of me and I hold the table tightly, feeling a sharp sensation under my ribs.
I close my eyes, not moving, guilt suddenly flooding me.
I shouldn't have done that.
I should have just said what he wanted.
Told him that I wanted him, not just sex. Like he'd said to me when I'd asked him to kiss me.
I don't need that, I just need you.
I never said it back.
He's quiet behind me, his clothes rustling as he gets dressed.
I stand up, my hands still resting on the table.
I've hurt him, I know that. I did it on purpose.
My chest constricts painfully, and I sigh, trying to think of what to say to him, how to apologise for treating him like this. Treating him like he's only good for sex, like he means nothing to me.
I jump as the door suddenly slams.
I spin around in shock.
I'm standing in the room on my own.
He left.
He fucking left.
I manage to get myself dressed, cleaning myself up with some blue roll in the corner.
It's when I'm about to leave that my throat closes up and my vision blurs. I lean against the wall and slide down to sit on the floor, placing my head on my knees as hot tears spring from my eyes.
A/N One step forwards, two steps back. Sigh.
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