It wasn't easy keeping her safe. Every night, I can spot soldiers roaming around her building making sure that we're indeed living together and acting like we're married. They're looking for one strand of mistake and they're going to take her away again. She's still Capitol in their eyes. She's still the same escort that reaped children every year for them despite her efforts to make up for it. Plutarch came by from time to time to update us on President Paylor's plans for Effie.

Few days later, rallies erupted everywhere in the Capitol. Violence started happening between the rebels and the Capitol-born citizens. Hate spread fast.

"Rebellion really did change everything, huh", Effie once muttered while looking out the window.

It's a sarcastic comment. It didn't change anything. Chaos reigns in the Capitol. For her, way of life before is way better than what her eyes are seeing now. Most of them were ignorant about the suffering of people from other districts but the Capitol was the only place where she felt safe. She used to be untouchable here. People loved her. People adored her. Now, they hate her.

"It will get better. The storm will pass", I said.

She chuckled. It's very condemning which is an odd sound to come out from her. Her heart is light and good.

"I heard that one before back in District 13", she muttered and then turned around to face me. The sadness that used to reside in her eyes is now replaced with rage. "Plutarch used to tell me, 'hang on Ms. Trinket. This will be over soon and once it does, things will go back to normal or rather the new normal' and sadly, I believed that. I turned my back from my home, my family, my friends, my life to join the fight but Plutarch was wrong. It was never over. Look around you. The war didn't stop. President Snow was never gone. It's still the same and it's getting much worse. On top of it all, I've been put twice in prison with everyone from Capitol to all the districts wanting to come for my neck. Tell me, Haymitch. When do you think this storm will pass?" she exclaimed.

She's angry. I get that and I understand. All of us had already been living a bad life but at least we're used to it because we're born to it. Effie is not that. She was born in wealth. She grew up in the Capitol. She changed her lifestyle in order to support the rebellion. Most of us had our lost and she lost everything. She is still lost up to this date.

"I don't know, sweetheart. I am still waiting for that day to come too", I answered.

The rage was gone. The sadness is back. Effie looked away from me and lit up a cigarette. Her smoking habit is becoming worse as well. Before, she only does that whenever she had a really terrible nightmare but now, she lights one up every half an hour. Sometimes, she smokes three cigarettes back to back. I tried talking to her about it and she only made a comment about my drinking. Of course, I did stop drinking so I can look after her but I don't think she had noticed. Her brain is so crowded now with horrible memories that maybe it cannot accommodate anything else.

"Katniss called again. She wants to know if we can make it for Peeta's birthday", I reminded her.

I saw her took a deep breath.

"If Katniss insists, then who am I to say no? Besides, it will be a shame for you to go Peeta's birthday without your wife on your side", she said in her upbeat escort tone.

She does that now from time to time. She switches from Effie to the darling of the Capitol just to hide. It's easier, I guess. She has been doing that for so long. It's her defense wall against the world.

"Eff, if you don't want to, I can tell her", I said.

"No. Don't. I don't want to break the girl's heart and Peeta's. We'll be there but for now, I want to go to bed. It's been a long day hearing those screaming outside and watching those soldiers patrolling my building", she said.

She knows. Of course, she does. She's smarter than most people think.

"Oh, alright…goodnight then", I muttered.

Effie stopped walking and turned to me.

"Would you mind accompanying me? I know it's too much. I just like having you near me when I sleep", she asked.

"No problem at all", I answered.

We lied down on her bed. This is our setup every night. She sleeps better when I'm next to her and to be honest, she helps with my nightmares too. It's a win-win situation.

"I am so tired, Haymitch", she suddenly said while staring at the dark ceiling. "Sometimes, I can't distinguish what's real and what's not real. It is making my head hurt once in a while. I kept getting these flashbacks in my head and then they would be gone but I didn't know they're just flashbacks. Back in my cell, the second time I was arrested, they locked me in a very dark room. Everything was grey. Oh, it's dreadful. At first, I stared on my nails which were neon green at the time just to spare my eyes from all the greys but then I grew tired of looking at my nails and I could feel my brain cracking so I decided to just keep my eyes closed the whole time and I would imagine things. I kept rewinding you and I in that garden just talking and sitting there and it made me feel calm. I forgot I was hungry and weak. When you got me out of there, I can't make it stop. I closed my eyes and I disappear and when I opened them, all I see is violence outside. I don't know how long I can last living like this", she added.

I turned to her and saw tears flowing freely from her eyes.

"All of us have our own ways of escaping reality. It's not abnormal. Katniss suffered from images of her past and the games all the time so it's hard to just sneak up on her especially if she's holding a bow. Peeta sometimes get caught up in his time at the Capitol and would scream until he realized he's at the kitchen baking alone. We all have our demons, princess. We all deal with something. It's the toll we got to live with but at least we are alive. Most people aren't so lucky. We can get through this. You can get through this because you're not alone. You will never be alone", I said.