District 12 looked a lot better than the last time I went here. They are rebuilding and I guess President Paylor is giving them enough for it. I wouldn't say I missed the train but it does feel familiar. For years, this train has been part of my routine. Every year I would ride this train going to District 12 for the Reaping and then after that I would ride this train again with Haymitch and two young children that I would send to the arena to die.
"Hey…" Haymitch called my attention. He knows. Of course, he knows. The man can read me like a book. He knows exactly what I was thinking. "It's alright", he reassured me and then held my hand.
I can't remember the last time we were this nice to each other in this train. He's nice to me but not in this train. Maybe because he gets angry that year after year, I would pull him out of his home to drag him back to the games so that he could watch two children die and there's nothing he could do about it.
"Sorry…it's just my brain. I can't help it", I apologized.
He only smiled at me as response. Haymitch has stopped drinking. I never said a word about it but I know he doesn't drink anymore. It must have been tough on him to stop and deal with me at the same time. I wish I could've helped him but I am in no capacity to help anyone. I can't even help myself. I still drift off to another reality in my head. I can't shake it off my system. Haymitch said it will get better and I will get through it just like Katniss and Peeta. I surely hope so but my hope is not that high.
We arrived at Victor's Village and it's exactly the same. Haymitch mentioned that Katniss and Peeta don't want any renovation to be done at the village. They like it the way it is. I would argue on some part of it but I decided to keep it to myself. It's not my home. I noticed as we walk towards the village, a few people are standing near the woods glaring at me. I no longer wear my wigs and I barely put on heavy makeup on my face but I think they can still recognize me. How they cannot? I am the Capitol woman who came here every year to take their children. I tightened my grip on Haymitch's hand.
"You alright?" he asked.
"Yeah…just excited", I lied.
"Well, let's go then", he said.
I can feel their eyes following me. They hate me here too. That much is sure. Katniss and Peeta greeted me once we arrived at Haymitch's house. Peeta already prepared us some food on the table while Katniss launched on stories about the rebuilding of town. I sat there appearing to be listening but I missed most of it. I drifted here and there but I caught the last part.
"How are you doing, Effie?" Katniss finally asked.
I suddenly remembered that they knew what happened back at the Capitol.
"I've been better", I answered and then switched to my escort self. "Honestly, I shouldn't be making a lot of fuss about it since it's my second time and the first time was so much worse. President Paylor was kind enough not to order her soldiers to beat me so I guess it's all good in the end", I added.
I heard Haymitch scoffed at the background. He hates it when I pretend like everything's okay or at least use my escort voice in doing that.
"Yeah…the beating was terrible", Peeta muttered.
"True…that is much worse. President Paylor just didn't give her any food and drink for two weeks while she locked her up in a dark cell but yeah, the beating is much worse", Haymitch intervened.
I clenched my fists on my dress. It's fine. It's fine. Everything is fine. There is no need to bring it all up! I took a deep breath and shook it off.
"Oh, there's that too but I survived thanks to Haymitch and Plutarch", I said in my best calm tone.
"I've been meaning to ask. How did you get her out of there?" Peeta asked Haymitch.
I kept it shut. I want him to be the one to tell the kids.
"We got married", he answered briefly.
I saw the spark in Katniss' eyes as well as in Peeta's. They sure weren't expecting that answer.
"What? You two got married? When? Where? Why we're not invited?" Katniss fired questions faster than her arrows.
"Calm down. It happened pretty fast. There's no ceremony. It's all in the paper", Haymitch tried his best but it's really sloppy.
The kids are even more confused if that's even possible. They think they got left out of the 'wedding'.
"Haymitch and Plutarch came up with it in order to get me out of prison. President Paylor apparently couldn't touch a victor's wife so Haymitch forged my signature on our marriage certificate and went on to convince President Paylor that we got married right after I got out of the hospital. Everything adds up to that alibi. He's been living with me in my apartment and all my neighbors know that so here we are. There's your answer. You didn't miss a ceremony", I intervened.
I think that came out colder than I would've wanted because I saw the hurt look on Haymitch's face. I am grateful. I really am. It's just that I feel guilty that I got him trapped in this marriage all of a sudden so that I can be free and alive. He made it clear before that he doesn't want to get married and now he is to me. Out of nowhere, I drifted off to that time in the cell. Katniss, Peeta and Haymitch disappeared and were replaced by the grey walls. I closed my eyes to shake it off but it's not working. It usually worked but not now.
"Effie?" I heard Katniss' voice.
"Effie, are you alright?" it's Peeta's now.
I felt hands grabbed my arms and yanked me out of the hallucination. I opened my eyes and met Haymitch's eyes looking intensely at me.
"Thank you", I muttered.
