Chapter 21
The Land Without Magic
(Regina's POV)
My eyes fluttered open and I sat up slowly. I looked around the room I was in, noting it's pale grey colour scheme. I put my hands onto the bed that I was sitting on, suddenly feeling the realisation rush into me. I smirked and rolled my head around, only to notice that it felt lighter. Instantly, my hands shot up to my new medium length hair and brushed it back.
I pushed back the covers of the bed and hopped out into the cool air. Then, I padded across the plush carpet towards the window. Looking out, my eyes swept over a strange town, with buildings packed very densely together. I let a wide grin dominate my face. I did it!
But something was missing. It wasn't the cold air that made me feel empty...I turned around abruptly and felt an invisible wind knock the breath out of my body. Daniella! Where is she?!
Immediately, I rushed out of the room and around the mansion, calling out, "Daniella? Firefly? Are you here? Please don't scare Mama..."
I was about to go downstairs when my memories started to kick in. The fake memories of this world. Oh no, no, no!
I felt tears well up in my eyes as I sped back to my room to get changed. Daniella was at the hospital because of her unconscious state when she first arrived at the land without magic...at Storybrooke.
I quickly got changed into the black dress and black trench coat. After I waved my hand over my face to do my makeup, I felt stupid in doing so... ugh, there's no magic in this land.
I grunted and rushed through my makeup process, smudging a bit of eyeliner; but it didn't matter. Then, I made my way out of the house and into my...car.
It felt weird, driving in the streets since my false memories told me that it was part of everyday life. However, the truth was that I had never driven a car and was in the streets of this new realm for the first time. Soon, these feelings of confusion were overtaken with worry. I let my subconscious memory bring the car to the hospital and after perhaps fifteen minutes, I had arrived outside a square block building.
I ran into the reception in a hurry and demanded, "Where's my daughter?"
The lady looked at me weirdly as she stammered a reply, "Uh, Madam Mayor, she's where she always has been."
Even though I felt my cheeks blush with embarrassment, I rolled my eyes and commanded, "Well? Surely you would know where she is then..."
The lady stood up and took me past hallways until we reached a room that was separated from the other patients. Pushing open the glass doors, the receptionist lead me in and gestured towards a bed, "Here's your daughter. She got moved into the coma patient ward a week ago remember?"
My mouth gaped open at Daniella's fragile body which lay hooked up to machines on either side of her bed. Behind me, the lady muttered, "I'll leave you to it then, have a nice day, Madam Mayor."
I nodded briefly and waited for the lady to leave before I rushed to Daniella's side. My hands shook as they stroked her pale face. Quietly, I murmured, "Daniella...no, no, no, no, please don't tell me that you're not going to wake up...Firefly? I thought we would be happy here. We were supposed to be happy here."
My breath hitched as tears started falling down my cheeks. "Daniella..."
I inhaled shakily before wrapping my body around my daughter's. I held her close to me for several minutes until I was ready to let ago. To be honest, I'll never be able to let go. Nevertheless, I gently laid Daniella back onto the bed. "Mama's going to wake you up, firefly. I promise."
Then, I planted a kiss on her forehead. I wanted to believe that it would wake her up. I wanted so desperately to believe that, but I knew that in this world without magic, true love's kiss wouldn't work. As I watched with a sunken expression as Daniella's body failed to respond to my kiss. Suddenly I felt as if someone had ripped my heart out and left a hole where it should have been.
Before I left Daniella, I whispered to her, "I love you, little firefly. Mama's gonna be back everyday to see you."
Then, I backed away from her bed, even though my mind was telling me to stay. No, I need to find the doctors. I need to tell them to wake her up.
Just before I walked out of the room, I stopped abruptly. In the room, there was another coma patient, lying opposite to Daniella. I walked closer to him and gasped in realisation. Prince Charming. He's under a coma too?
I smirked at the Prince's-no, David Nolan's unconscious body. And Snow doesn't even have any idea who this man is... I scoffed at this thought but then turned back to look at Daniella. Will she wake up? Or will she remain in a coma like David?
I shook these thoughts out of my mind and stormed out of the room. I needed to find a way to wake up Daniella. Now.
...
I fumed at the doctors' words. How is it not possible? There's unnecessary things such as television in this world...but yet, there's no cure for Daniella?! My emotions started to play at me. On one hand, I wished so badly that I could use a fireball and burn those doctors on the spot. On the other, I simply wanted to go back home, crawl up and cry. Despite wanting to do the latter, I needed to visit someone else first. Maybe he could tell me how to wake Daniella up...he's always able to find loopholes.
A bell chimed as I walked into Mr Gold's pawnshop. I almost took a step back when I saw Rumple for the first time. His greenish reptilian skin was gone, his hair; straight and his eyes; the same as any other man on the street.
I frowned and strode towards him, "I'm not happy."
"I believe Dr Hopper's office is down the street."
I rolled my eyes. I guess that wittiness will never leave him. "No, I don't want to talk to him. I want to talk to you."
Gold shrugged and answered, "Very well, Madam Mayor. What is it you want to talk about?"
"My daughter."
"Daniella? She's always been in a coma, why would you suddenly be upset over that?"
I paused and breathed softly, "Always?"
"Well yes, of course. The doctors say that things aren't getting better, nor are they getting worse. So, what is there to be possibly upset over?"
I glared at Gold as I answered, "My daughter is in a coma, why wouldn't I be upset?"
Calmly, Gold stated, "As I said, Dr Hopper's office is down the street. I'm sure I don't need to remind you that I'm not a doctor nor am I a therapist. Sorry, Madam Mayor, but if you're looking for someone to help comfort you, you've come to the wrong man."
I narrowed my eyes at the Imp. "I'm looking for someone to help me cure her. To help me wake her up!"
Gold tilted his head, "Do I look like I know how to wake someone up from a coma?"
I shook my head in disbelief. Then, I lowered my voice and seethed, "This wasn't the deal we made. You promised that Daniella and I would be happy."
Gold's next words shocked me. "I'm sorry. I don't know what you're talking about."
Suddenly, the realisation came. Gold is cursed. He doesn't have any idea what I'm talking about. Quietly, I muttered, "You don't, do you? But I was supposed to be happy here."
"Forgive me, but, um, you're the Mayor. The most powerful woman in the town. What's there to be unhappy about?"
"What's the use of this power when I can't share happiness with my daughter, hmm?"
"Is that what this is about?"
I shook my head as I started to walk out of Gold's shop. My heart felt hollow as I murmured more to myself than to the Imp, "There's nothing you can give me."
(17 years later)
I kicked off my heeled boots when I entered my house. Instantly, I felt the cold emptiness from the mansion drift towards me and seep into my soul. Taking a deep breath, I walked over to the dining table and laid out my work for the day. It's turned into a routine now for the past decade; every two days, I would wake up and visit the florist to buy Daniella's favourite flowers. Then, I would go to the hospital and spend perhaps half an hour there with my little firefly. I used to spend more time there but every day, my hopes of her waking up got weaker and weaker. Maybe she'll just never wake up. Maybe she'll remain in this coma forever.
Often, I would come home after visiting Daniella and cry. But today, I couldn't let that happen for the cricket was coming. I've called him because...well, I needed to talk. And the Graham's literally heartless to be able to understand.
I left the front door open for Doctor Hopper to come in when he arrived. Half an hour after I started on my paperwork, there was a knock on he door. I called out for him to come in. He did, walking cautiously towards me.
As he sat down on the chair opposite me, he stuttered, "Uh, you wanted to see me, Madam Mayor?"
Without looking up from my work, I answered, "Yes, I did."
"Well if this is about Pongo's dog license, I've already had it renewed-"
"This is nothing about your dog license," I quickly said whilst putting my pen down.
Quietly, Doctor Hopper asked, "Madam Mayor are you ok?"
I shrugged and answered generically, "I'm alright."
"Excuse me for saying this but you don't really look ok."
I straightened my back and with eyes flaring, I stated, "I don't tolerate that bluntless. I'm the Que-" I paused. How could I have been so stupid! Calming myself, I continued, "I'm the mayor..."
The cricket instantly replied, "And I'm a therapist. That's why you asked me to come right?"
I looked at him and pursed my lips as he asked me how I was feeling. I replied, "Nothing." That set my mind thinking a little. After considering for a moment, I reworded my answer. "I feel nothing."
"Let me guess, I would say that you're a driven woman and sometimes it can lead to this sort of feeling. It can lead to a hole."
My breath stopped. "A what?" I breathed.
"A hole."
Rumple...his prophecy that night of the curse. He said that I would have a hole in my heart and one day I would come to him to fix it! Shaking, I listened to the Doctor as he continued to speak, "A hole. An emptiness. There's more to life than work...and maybe that's why you feel dissatisfied."
Strongly, I responded, "I'm not dissatisfied. I love my life."
"Well what's the point of life if you've got no one to share it with?"
My breath hitched again as I thought about Daniella. Doctor Hopper continued, "Has there ever been a time in your life when you haven't felt this way?"
I reflected on my life with Daniella back in the Enchanted Forest. There were moments when Snow was running loose; moments when I felt so angry that she was loved and adored by the kingdom. However, having Daniella with me made it so much more bearable. I was...happy to an extent when I was with her.
"Madam Mayor?"
I shook the flashback thoughts out of my head. Then, I realised that I had tears falling down my cheeks. Instantly, I turned away from the cricket and wiped them off my face. Damn. I probably smudged my makeup.
Softly, the Doctor prompted, "There has been a time in your life when you were happy, right?"
I contemplated for a minute, not knowing whether or not I should reveal my emotions to him. Sighing, I gave in and said softly, "There was. But she'll never be with me again."
"She? Who are you talking about?"
"My daughter."
There was a look of surprise on the cricket's face before he frowned, as if he was pulling out a distant memory. "Oh, Daniella! That is her name isn't it? It's been such a long time since..."
I nodded. Even though the cricket was speaking from his false memories, it made me feel slightly better to know that Daniella isn't completely forgotten in this sleepy town. Then, the Doctor asked, "How long has it been?"
"Too long. They say that she'll never wake up again."
Doctor Hopper nodded before beginning slowly, "Look, I'm not telling you to give up on hope, or to forget about Daniella but maybe it's time to move on..."
I glared at the cricket. "Move on? How-"
"By taking care of another child. From what I've heard, I believe that your happiness comes from a child, and maybe, that's the answer. Maybe a child will fill the hole you have in your heart."
"But Daniella! I can't forget her! I can't...I can't! I can't betrayed her!"
"If you choose to adopt a child, you wouldn't be betraying your daughter. She'll be happy that you were able to find happiness even without her. Also, you'll never forget Daniella. She's still your child; so she'll always be in your heart. Besides, you can still visit her everyday at the hospital."
I swallowed and looked down. Will a child really make me happy again?
The drive to Boston went by in the blink of my eye since so many thoughts were running through my head. I stood outside of the adoption agency for a solid two minutes before taking a deep breath and walking into the building. I was excited to meet my new child, but at the same time, I was worried. What if Daniella wakes up tomorrow and finds out that I have a son? How will she react? Regina! Stop thinking irrationally. Daniella's not going to wake up.
Minutes later, I was sitting opposite a man who was reviewing the steps to the adoption process with me.
"Well, Ms Mills, your application is almost too good to be true. This town you live in, Storybrooke...you're the mayor?"
I nodded and added, "Third term. All unopposed."
"Anyway, I've explained your rights and responsibilities, but there's one item I'd like to go over in detail. This is a closed adoption, which means you'll never be able to contact your child's birth parents. It's a complete information blackout. Parents' names, ethnicity, genealogical records. You won't have access to any of it."
Without wavering, I answered, "I'm concerned with my child's future, not his past."
The agent then said, "Well then, congratulations. Are you ready to meet your son?"
My heart was thumping hard at this point. "Yes!"
The man hit a call button on the phone on his desk. As he spoke, I looked out of the doorway to see a woman carrying in a baby boy. The woman approached me and gently set him into my arms. He is so small, just like Daniella when she was a newborn. Holding him, I whispered, "Well hello there. It was fate wasn't it...Henry."
The agent said softly, "Henry huh? You don't meet a lot of Henry's nowadays. Its quite an old name."
Without looking up, I replied, "It was my father's name. He passed some time ago."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I hope it was peaceful at least."
His phrase made my heart skip a beat as it reminded me of Daniella and how Daddy had sacrificed himself so that his granddaughter may live. Well, I'm beginning to feel like the sacrifice was futile...actually, was it? Without Daddy I wouldn't be adopting Henry right now...but at the cost of losing Daniella?!
Regina! You shouldn't have these thoughts right now, you're adopting a child!
I looked into Henry's wide little eyes and whispered, "Come on, Henry. Let's go home."
As I was driving back to Storybrooke with Henry beside me sleeping, I thought about Daniella once more. I gave a quick glance down towards Henry...maybe he shouldn't know that he has a sister. It'll just make him more confused when he grows up. Besides, how can I give Henry my best if he knows that I adopted him because I lost my daughter? He'll think he's simply a replacement! He may be adopted but he's still my son. My little knight.
