Moving in with Haymitch was easy. He didn't enjoy the part where I moved boxes of my things to his house. Good thing he got lots of room for them. He even gave me an entire room to be my closet. He knows how much I love clothes and shoes though he asked me not to wear any more wigs. It's not fashionable anymore so it's not that hard to follow. I stayed at home mostly. I am ready yet to walk into town for everybody to see me. Sure they know I am married to Haymitch now and I live here but it doesn't change the fact that they don't like me because I'm Capitol.

"You're cleaning up again? You just cleaned the house yesterday", Haymitch asked while sitting on the sofa.

I am holding a duster on my right hand ready to clean the house…again.

"It's a good exercise and it takes my mind off things", I answered.

"I know a lot of things to take your mind off things", he teased.

I only glared at him. We do sleep together in one bed but that's just it. We only sleep. He's a nice company and I rarely have nightmares when he's next to me. He doesn't sleep with a knife anymore as well which is comforting to know that I won't get stabbed while I sleep. There were times when he tried to make a move. We're married and we love each other. It should be normal and should feel normal but I can't do it. It's not because of him. It's just that it reminds of me of those horrible times in prison when President Snow got me locked up. When Haymitch tried to touch me, all I can see is the faces of those Peacekeepers and it makes me sick that I have to run away and hide myself in the bathroom.

Haymitch understood. He knows, I figured. Johanna might have told him about it. He never asked me about it or demanded me to tell him which I appreciate. After a while, he stopped trying. He said that when I'm ready, I should just let him know.

"We have news", Katniss started when she dropped by the house. "Peeta's birthday has been moved to the town center. The people thought it would be best for everyone to celebrate and the mayor agreed. Peeta too. He thinks the people can use some party", she added.

I froze by the corner. The town center, which means everyone will be there and they will all see me.

"Can we just do the usual dinner thing at home? It always work, right? Why throw a big party?" Haymitch asked. He hates big parties as well.

"Didn't you listen to what I just said? Peeta thought the people can use some celebration", she answered.

I grabbed the table next to me. My heart is beating pretty fast and my head is becoming light. I searched for my pack of cigarette in my pocket and I found it.

"That would be a wonderful idea", I muttered and then took the pack out of my pocket. "Please, excuse me. I need to condone a bad habit of mine", I excused myself and went outside to smoke.

I just need to calm myself down and walk back there and pretend it's fine to go to town. Of course, it's not fine but it's for Peeta and if I didn't show up, he will get sad and I don't want him to be sad in his birthday. It could be my gift for him, my presence.

"You don't have to go if you don't want to. They will understand", Haymitch said behind me as if he can read my mind which I am sure he can.

"No. I will go. It's his birthday. It's what he wants and I am not going to kill the mood for him. I will be there to support him", I said.

I turned to him and flashed a smile. I don't know if it's convincing but he didn't say a word after that.

Most of my clothes are a little bit over the top for District 12. They will immediately spot me from miles away so I picked a simple black dress. It's plain enough to blend with the darkness of the night. I paired it my black heels and a good jacket. I have to tone it down. It's not what I had in mind to wear in Peeta's birthday when I came here but this will do.

"You looked normal", Haymitch muttered when he saw me.

He's sporting his usual self, denim pants, white shirt and a black coat. He looks decent and sober. I wonder if he will drink tonight.

"I have to blend in so this is the best I can do", I explained.

"It's fine, sweetheart. You're still the most beautiful woman in Panem", he said and kissed me.

We went to the town center and it is packed with crowd. I can feel my heart ready to burst out of my chest but my cigarette is ready. Haymitch held on to my hand tight to let me know he's here for me. I instantly felt the eyes on me. I am not being paranoid. They are really looking at me.

"You're fine, princess", I heard Haymitch whispered to my ear.

I took a deep breath and continued walking. After I greeted Peeta, the party started. Haymitch talked to some people he knows. I let him, of course. This is his town.

"Trinket!" I heard someone shouted. I turned around and saw Johanna running towards me and greeted me with a hug.

"Oh, it's lovely to see you. They didn't tell me you're coming", I greeted back.

"I told them not to. I want to surprise you. So, how's life being Mrs. Abernathy?" she asked right away.

I knew that question is coming up pretty soon. I didn't realize it will be this soon.

"It's fine. He's very nice and understanding in a lot of things. It's not easy to live with me and after everything, it only became worse", I answered.

She gets it. She knows everything. That's what bonds us really.

"Well, no need to think about that now because we are going to party. Prepare yourself, Trinket because we are going to get wasted. Unless you would rather spent the entire night worrying what other say about you", she proposed. I supposed the first option is better than the latter.

"Hit me", I said.