I woke up with a splitting headache. What happened last night? I remember being at Peeta's birthday party and then Johanna came and we started drinking at the bar. Everything went blurred after that. I must've had a lot because my breath smells like, well…Haymitch. I should've stuck to my cigarettes and not gave in to Johanna but she's not here often and I missed her. I got up quickly and went for shower. I can't face the kids and Haymitch smelling like a drunk though it might be too late considering I woke up in Haymitch's room which means he brought me home while I was completely drunk.

I put on a nice simple dress and brushed my hair. Keeping it simple is my way of blending in here at District 12 despite the fact that my dresses were from Capitol which means they're not very subtle. I went downstairs and it's awfully quiet. Maybe Haymitch is out with Katniss hunting in the woods. He does that sometimes to keep her company. When I got to the living room, I found Haymitch sitting there holding a cup of coffee.

"Good morning. I'm sorry, I slept longer than I should. Have you eaten breakfast yet? I can make something pretty fast if you like", I greeted hoping he wouldn't mention anything about my behavior last night.

"I am not hungry", he declined coldly.

Is he upset? I know I don't drink very often but it's not that shocking, I think. I don't remember making a scene or acting like Johanna when she's drunk. Well, I don't remember much so it's a possibility.

"Oh…alright. I'll go make myself some tea", I said just to excuse myself.

I am so embarrassed. This is exactly why I don't drink back at the Capitol. I don't want the feeling of not remembering things. I went to the kitchen and made myself a tea.

"We need to talk, princess", Haymitch said behind me.

Oh god…here we go.

"Look, I am very sorry about drinking last night. It's just…Johanna suggested it and she thought I needed it. At the moment, I felt like I did so I said yes. I didn't mean to drink a lot but we talked and talked and then I cannot remember anything anymore. I am sorry if I did anything or said something that might've embarrassed you, Katniss and Peeta", I apologized before he can say anything. I must have lost my manners last night and that would inexcusable.

"What? I got no problem about last night. You were well-behaved for a drunk. What I want to talk to you about is what you did back in the Capitol", he said.

I frowned.

"What did I do?" I asked.

"The one where you gave President Paylor all the names of the people involved with the Hunger Games, the staff, engineers, even the sponsors", he answered.

I felt the oxygen got sucked out of the room. The windows are all closed but it's so cold. How did he find out? I never mentioned that deal to him and Plutarch promised not to tell that secret.

"Johanna", I muttered out loud.

"I forced her to tell me. Is it true?" he asked again.

"Does it matter?" I asked him back trying to hold my ground.

"Of course, it does. Now, tell me. Is it true?" he answered then asked me again.

"Yes, Haymitch. It's true", I finally answered.

I saw the shift in his eyes. He is now looking at me differently.

"Why? Those were your people. Some of those people were part of the games not by choice. You know that. You told me that. How could you do that to them?" he asked.

Am I hearing this right? Why all of a sudden I'm the monster here? Everyone did horrible things during the war but somehow it's justified because what? They're rebels and I'm Capitol?

"You're asking me why? You left me, Haymitch!" I yelled and now, I don't care whether it's bad manners or not. "Don't you think I didn't know your plans during Quarter Quell? I am not stupid, Haymitch. I am just good at keeping a blind eye. I didn't say anything because I respected you. I trusted that in time you will tell me but you didn't. You left and you left me behind. I know you're heading to District 13 because I overheard you talked to Plutarch on the phone once but when I was tortured in that cell, I said nothing. I told them I knew nothing. When President Coin got killed, the new government wanted to avenge her death but they cannot touch Katniss or the victors because they wouldn't want risking the people to turn on them too so that leaves me, the last living escort. I was once again interrogated if I knew anything about Katniss' plan on killing Coin. I told them the truth. I knew nothing but they didn't buy it. They were determined. I am going down one way or another so they made a deal. It's either I will tell them everything I know about the games and the Capitol or I will go to jail and I chose the former even though I knew it will make me a pariah in my own home", I added.

"Why didn't you tell me? I could've helped", he asked.

"I was going to actually but you told me you're leaving with Katniss for 12. I was hoping you would ask me to come with you but you didn't. You left me again for the second time, telling me to don't be a stranger. So yeah, I told them everything. I told them the names of everyone and they executed almost all of them. They're bloods are on my hands but it's the only thing I could do so they wouldn't put me back in that place again although they managed to put me back there, right?" I answered.

He took a deep breath.

"Effie…it's alright…" he muttered.

"Cut it out, Haymitch. You already made it clear what you think of what I did. I get it. I don't need you to approve everything I do. It's fine. It's not alright and it will never be", I snapped.

"What the hell is going on here?" Katniss intervened and we both stopped.