Before The End

"Ten-hut!" Chris Redfield shouted to the assembly of eight men before him that had gathered upon the rooftop of the BSAA Japan headquarters, in a neat side-by-side line formation.

"Now most of you only know me by name and vice versa. I've never bothered reaching out to any of you before, because your genes are purely pathetic next to mine, but desperate times call for desperate measures." Chris paced around the men, looking each and every one of them in the eye. He could feel their disgusting weakness just emanating from their very beings, but even the weaklings had a purpose to serve in life. To serve the strong like him. "It turned out some of you were also kinda dead as well… so I didn't have to resurrect you as a robot clone, but I did!"

"Perhaps in helping me accomplish my goal, of protecting the Redfield lineage, you weak-ass beta males may finaly prove your worth – your justification for your existence upon a Redfield world."

"Whatever you say, Mr. Redfield!" A nondescript looking blonde businessman, the apex of unremarkable everymen, flashed eager smiles and thumbs-ups at Chris. His name was Ethan Winters. "I can't wait to become as cool and badass as you!"

"Yeah yeah. Don't forget you owed me for that one thing, so it ain't like you had a choice to start with." Chris grumbled back at Ethan.

"So what do we gotta do?" A bearded, somewhat pudgy looking man in BSAA combat gear asked. Parker Luciani, Jill's partner during that one thing the one time.

"Yeah, I haven't got a clue what the heck a Redfield lineage is. Do you know the risk I took just in taking your phone call and boardin' an international flight? I ain't gonna let THEM catch me just for you." A man with a raggedy beard and wild unkempt hair, with a tattoo on his left arm, asked. His name was Billy Coen, an acquaintance of Chris' great but not the greatest platonic female friend Rebecca Chambers, and he had apparently lost his razor and scissors in the years since he'd encountered Rebecca.

"You'll split up into teams. Redfield Force Alpha and Redfield Force Beta." Chris took out some fancy holoprojector tech and threw them onto the ground. Instantly, the holoprojectors illuminated the area with two lifesize holograms – one of a Japanese man in a grayish-white suit and a red shirt, and the other of a sexy-stunner Chinese woman in a red-dress and heels.

"Hummina hummina. I'd like to crack open her fortune cookie." Another of the men spoke up. He had the looks of a sexy Latin lover, and sounded the part too. Carlos Oliveira, a very former and brief acquiantance of Jill Valentine.

"This is some ex-Yakuza motherfucker called Kazuma Kiryu who's been roped into playing bodyguard for Leon S. Kennedy. Alpha Team, you're gonna make him regret signing that deal. And the gal? I'm sure you're all familiar with Ada Wong. I'm gonna need Beta Team to track her down and bring her to me, alive."

"Leon's in town, huh? I'm just itching to pay that fucking punk back any way I can." Jack Krauser, who was actually a super-advanced BSAA robot modeled after and implanted with the real deceased Krauser's memories, cracked his knuckles. "Say no more."

"Waitaminute! Did you drag us all out here just get somebody laid? And it isn't me?" Another robot replica indignantly asked. He was an annoying redheaded twerp wearnig a blue jacket and marine camo pants.

"Yes, Robot Steve Burnside, I did. You're going to make Leon fuck my sister. And you are going to enjoy it!" Chris reprimanded him sternly, with a smack.

"Uh, are we gonna be getting anything in return? We have lives of our own that we put on hold for your little vendetta, companero." Carlos piped up like a little weasel.

"What I'm paying you isn't enough?" Chris glared at Carlos.

"Well actually…" Ethan Winters interjected. "You are actually paying us less than what some minimum wage movie theater worker in Austin, Texas makes sweeping up trash and printing out tickets."

"Fine! What the heck do you want?" Chris looked at every one of his recruits.

"I want Jill!" Carlos proclaimed. "It was love from the moment I laid my dashing Latin eyes upon her blueberry muffin curves and it is about damn time she returned the favor!"

"Sure, what the hell. You can have her." Chris casually approved the request.

"Hey, I was gonna ask for Jill!" Parker protested.

"Shut up, short stuff. First come, first serve. Finders keepers losers weepers." Chris snapped at Parker. "I can give you that bitch Jessica – who does not enjoy the privilege of being one of my very good friends - gift-wrapped. She'll suck your cock and stuff. And you're gonna like it."

Rather than risk annoying Redfield further, Parker gulped and quietly acquiesed.

"Meh, forget about Jill. I want Rebecca." Billy Coen smacked his lips.

"Yeah, you can have Rebecca. I'll text you her number and email right now."

(Excellent! My platonic very good friends just need some men in their life and maybe now they'll finally stop lusting after me!) Chris rubbed his palms.

Steve Burnside was next.

(Say Sheva. Say Sheva. Say Sheva please goddamit.)

"I want Claire!" Steve Burnside begged.

"God no! Your man genes are the most pathetic I've ever seen! You aren't even worthy of bathing in her bottled shower water! Why don't I just introduce you to my very good friend Sheva?' Chris offered.

"No thanks, bro! I got eyes on only one prize and that prize is Claire Red-" Chris pulled out an assault rifle and unloaded on Steve Burnside, turning the robot replica inside out until he was nothing more than a bunch of ruined wires and circuits.

"Aaaaggga bbaaagga!" Steve Burnside cried then he died.

(Shit. Why'd I do that. Robot Replicas are expensive to make. Shit, why'd I even commision a robot replica of Steve fucking Burnside to begin with.) Chris stared at the remains of Robot Steve and he turned to the remainder of his men.

"Any more of you fucks setting your eyes on my little sister?' Chris hissed with the murderous intensity of a pissed-off mama grizzly.

"Of course not! In fact, I don't need any hoes! I'm already happily married!" Flustered, Ethan Winters made excuses and waved his arms around. "Hey, the life experience I'll get from this job will be enough of a prize!"

"Just let me kill Leon when this is all said and done. He'll pay for breaking my heart the way he did, when I carve it outta him and stuff it in his op" Jack Krauser unsheathed a knife and was spinning it around.

"Woah, woah, woah! Tone down the language, hombre! I'm still planning to eat later! You can do that. Just be sure he's finished cumming when you do." Chris specified to Krauser.

Only two requests had yet to be heard and judged.

First up was a menacing man covered head to toe in Umbrella Corps tactical gear, with none of his features even visible beneath the red lenses the presumably hid his eyes.

"So… Agent H.U.N.K. We finally meet. I trust your former Umbrella ties will be no problem? The only thing I hate more than Leon not fucking my sister is Umbrella!" Chris walked up to HUNK and towered over the armored man.

"Just gimme some more goddamn money and I'll bring you the head of Albert Wesker himself."

"Huh? Isn't Wesker dead?" Everyone asked.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" HUNK chuckled from beneath his helmet.

"Whatever. Just get the job done." Chris slammed a big pile of bucks into HUNK's palms. "This half is a courtesy. The rest you get when Claire's belly is big with the next generation of Redfield lineage."

Last but not least there was a younger man, his head shaven, tapping away on his phone. He evidently was unaware of everything that had just transpired from Chris' big dramatic speech to the granting of gifts, for that stuff was really boring. Anyways, he was too busy trying to catch some cartoon monsters by swiping the screen to throw a red and white ball at them.

"WHAT THE FUCK JAKE?" Chris yelled at the lad. "WERE YOU ON THE PHONE THE ENTIRE TIME?"

"Mhm." Jake ignored Chris as he continued trying to catch himself some Pokemon. "Oops, just about picked this area clean. Gotta move on."

"Hey, come back here!" Chris threw his hands on Jake's shoulder but he was shaken off. "The Redfield Lineage is more important than fucking Pokemon!"

Upon doing so, Jake suddenly realized where he was and looked around. And then saw Chris in front of him, starting to turn red.

"Uh, I think it's probably better that I don't get involved with whatever this is! Bye-e!" And Jake Muller then ran away.

"God dammit Jake." Chris took a deep breath. He turned to the rest.

"Well, we're down to six. But that means it's easy division into two teams of three. HUNK, Krauser, Carlos – you're Redfield Force Alpha. The rest of y'all – Billy, Parker, Ethan – you schmucks can be Redfield Force Beta."

"Yay I'm part of a team!" Ethan Winters energetically jumped up and down.

"Whatever." Chris pushed Ethan Winters aside into a puddle of rainwater that had formed on the roof. "Just get to work and don't dare call in until you have some results for me."

As the two teams grouped up and then dispersed onto their individual missions, Chris took out a button on a box and pressed it. Uncloaking all around him were drones carrying canisters.

The drones flew out into the unsuspecting Kamurocho and began dispersing via gas the R-Virus into the air.


"So… what the hell do we do now? Chris is goddamn relentless, beating him once will just make him try even harder." Leon asked as he sat sandwiched between Jill and Kiryu in a crowded, noisy bar. Leon had some ice cream in front of him with a glass of apple juice to the side, while Jill and Kiryu were hitting the harder stuff.

"Ah, beats me. I don't think I really thought any of this through." Jill shrugged and then hiccuped. They were all talking in Japanese for Kiryu's sake.

"God dammit Jill! All of this is your fault!" Leon moaned, so lost in his misery that he was totally unaware Jill was currently stealing his ice cream very drunkenly. With her mouth.

"Wuzzat? How's dat my fault? You wouldn't be trapped in this circus if you just manned the fuck up and fucked Claire." Jill whispered into his ear as she began to lean in way too close for Leon's comfort. "I can help you with that, y'know."

"BEGONE THOT!" Leon shouted as he shoved Jill off her seat. She landed on her bottom with a thud, causing some mild stares from the people around them. Kiryu restrained Leon as he got off of seat and started towards Jill. Struggling against Kiryu's grasp, Leon still managed to shout. "You know I can't do that, Jill!"

"Leon, it won't be the end of the world if you fuck some girl before Ada." Jill taunted him.

"To me it will be! What if she feels the betrayal when we finally do it?" Leon worried.

"D'awww." Jill put on a condescending tone, like she was talking to a child. "You have no idea how sex actually works, do you?"

"She is rather blunt, but she does have something of a point." Kiryu spoke up as Leon calmed down and returned to his seat where he pouted. "Life won't always turn out how you wish it. Sometimes you just have to roll with the punches."

"You think I wanted life to be this way? All I wanted to be as a kid was a cop. Not spend my entire life on the run from one disaster to the next! I just want something to go my way for once. Just some payment for saving the world from being the undead's all-you-can-eat buffet…" Leon ordered another round of apple juice. "…where the fuck did half my ice cream go?"

Jill wiped the last of the melted sweetness from her lips, looked away innocently. "Hey, I didn't want my life to be nothing but a series of zombie outbreaks either. But you don't see me bitching about it!"

"Shut up Jill. You're a woman. You don't know how a guy feels about love!" Leon choked down his apple juice.

"Why do you two keep mentioning words like zombie and undead!" Kiryu interrupted suddenly.

"Uh…" Leon and Jill looked at each and then at Kiryu and back at each other uncertainly.

"You don't mean to tell me that our world is routinely being threatened by silly monsters off the midnight movie channel!" Kiryu scoffed with a chuckle.

(Bet it's just like the silliness with that haunted video tape a few years back – some mass cultural hysteria these two were apart of back in their homeland) Kiryu smiled at the memory.

"Hoo boy… no putting the cat back in the bag I guess. You wanna tell him your story first, or should I?" Jill asked Leon.

"You owe me for stealing my ice cream." Leon pouted as Jill rolled her eyes at the accusation.

"Fine. Okay, hold onto your bladders and sit tight boys, cause this is gonna be a long story."

(This should be a good on) Kiryu began but did not finish his thought.

There was a sudden explosion from the roof that knocked the trio back and sent the bar into chaos.

"Ugh what the fuck." Leon shook his head as his ears rung and his vision struggled to clear. "Oh god did Chris find us already."

Meanwhile, Kiryu was scooping up rubble and helping Claire out from underneath a pile.

"We ain't no Chris, but we're trouble regardless!" Said a Latin-accented voice from above. Through the hole in the roof that the explosion had made were descending three men on rappel ropes. Leon didn't recognize the first man, the one who had spoken up, but his heart sank as he recognized the second.

"Make that a triple order!" HUNK shouted. And then Leon's heart began beating in a crazed panic as he recognized the impossible third man.

"Jack Krauser! What the fuck you're alive!" Leon scrambled for some breathing room as the beret-wearing muscular blonde lunged at him.

"Surprised to see me, bro! Me too!" Krauser began swinging at Leon with heavy fists.

"Stay dead, Jack!" Leon did the splits-low blow manuever on Krauser, only to receive the heaping of pain in his hand instead. "Ow what the fuck why am I the only one in pain here?"

"Ha ha Leon I'm a robot now. I have no more human weakness!" Krauser cackled maniacally before he unsheathed is combat knife. "And now it's time for a haircut!"

"Carlos!" Jill recognized the first man, surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"My Jilly Valentine! A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one!" Carlos waltzed over to Jill, brandishing a carbine assault rifle to keep her still. He smacked his lips. "Chris promised me you in exchange for my services! But I did not expect him to deliver upon that promise so soon!"

"You're coming with us, Leon!" HUNK ordered as Leon evaded Krauser's knife swings before HUNK swung his rifle around and aimed it at Kiryu. "And you are coming to hell."

HUNK sprayed bullets at Kiryu who vaulted over the bar counter to avoid it.

"You can't hide behind there forever!" HUNK laughed.

The bullets blasted apart bottles of drink but some had already fallen and were scattered on the floor. A quick idea popped into Kiryu's head.

Meanwhile, Carlos had sidled right up to Jill, so close that his Little Oliveira Tree could grow to touch her.

"You wanna ditch these losers? Get some sushi? I bet you're just dyin' to try the spicy Oliveira Roll." Carlos offered Jill. In the background, HUNK continued firing at Kiryu behind cover while Leon was smashing everything he could get his hands on against Robo-Krauser to no effect. "I've leveled up since that night after Raccoon, baby. Carlos is the bullet train love machine you need, sweetcheeks! I'm gonna show you a good time, sister! 'Course, not like you got much of a choice."

He put his assault rifle's barel in-between her two breasts to emphasize the point.

"I see none of those leveles went into charm." Jill scoffed.

"CARLOS!" HUNK snapped at him. "Stop playing with your damn bimbo and get back to wor"

At that moment, Kiryu leapt up from behind the counter with two bottles of champagne in hand. He smashed both bottles againt HUNK's helmeted cheeks, causing alcohol to seep into and run all over his body armor. Kiryu then pressed his flicked his cigarette lighter open against the booze-stained HUNK, setting him ablaze.

"Well, this is slightly inconvenient." HUNK commented as he realized he was on fire.

"What the blazes?" Carlos looked away and lowered his weapon, which was all Jill needed. She pulled Carlos' side piece out of his holster, and proceeded to shoot him in both kneecaps. She then kneed him in the face as he fell, before stomping several times on the Little Oliveira Tree, splitting the branches.

"Ouchie, Jill! I wasn't really gonna hurt you, my sexy shooting STARS! That was uncalled for! How the heck am I supposed to supposed to satisfy you now, much less any lady in this state?" Carlos protested as he looked up at Jill while nursing his lightning-battered tree, utterly defeated.

"I'm sure you'll dream something up." Jill replied drolly as she swung a low kick directly into Carlos' head, sending him to slumberland with a very large and somewhat bent log sticking up.

Kiryu meanwhile was wondering what the man in the black body armor was made of, as he kept coming for Kiryu even as the blaze consumed him.

"I don't need to not be burning alive to kick your ass!" HUNK swung at Kiryu, who only dodged the chaotic attacks from the man on fire. "C'mon, hit me ya yellowbelly!"

Kiryu attempted a punch, but quickly pulled back as his hand felt the heat coming from the ablaze HUNK. That was not going to be an option, unless burnt hands on single men were suddenly about to go into fashion.

(How am I supposed to fight someone on fire? Punching fire is just gonna hurt me more than him.)

Jill tied up the sleeping Carlos, then hopped up onto the bar counter, kicking her legs up and down as she watched the two men struggle to deal with their opponents.

(Men… they never finish when you need them to.) Jill thought as she picked Leon's ice cream back up and continued eating it.


Back at BSAA headquarters, Chris was heading up the whole operation from the command center. Chris was watching the action unfold via body and head cams on all his men from big screens in front of him, while underlings typed away at computer terminals all around him.

Carlo's cam had just broadcast his defeat, while HUNK's cameras seemed to be currently on fire. Only Krauser still seemed to be storming along towards the objective completely unmolested as he played a deadly game of cat and mouse with Leon.

(C'mon, Leon, quit pussyfootin' about.) Chris thought as he watched the live feed with a stern expression. (Where's that fabled Kennedy lineage that proved itself such a worthy match for the Redfield lineage.)

"Alright, switch to Redfield Force Beta's feed!" Chris ordered and with a few taps of a keyboard and clicks of a mouse, the feed swapped.

RF Beta was currently in some backwater farm town in China, the kind of town that you only ever encounter when dozing off in the cramped third class compartment of a train traveling through the countryside. Ada had led them on a merry chase that had begun in Hong Kong and spread to the mainland metropolises, but at last the fox had been cornered in a town of muddy rivers, muddy streets, and muddy cabbage patches.

Well, cornered was a generous description.

On Parker's body cam Chris saw Ada thrust her knife into the BSAA agent, presumably his neck.

"EEEEEEGYAAAGH!" Parker's squeal got higher and higher as Ada cut out his throat, until he was shrieking like a damned nightcore video. Blood from his wounds were seeping down onto the body cam, turning the scenery redder than an Argento flick.

"Report, Coen!" Chris demanded and over Billy Coen's end came muffled through lots of static blubbling and thrashing like Coen was being drowned.

"Huh." Chris looked at Billy Coen's body cam and it looked like Ada was drowning Coen in the mud of one of the cabbage patches. Suddenly the sounds of his struggle ceased.

"Onto the prison of the afterlife, convict." Ada Wong remarked. Through the head cam Billy Coen was wearing, Chris grimaced as he saw Ada extend her thumbs and inevitably Billy Coen was screaming. Her thumbs still dripping with the blood of his eyesockets and still not satisfied, Ada began picking cabbages for the select purpose of bludgeoning whatever head Coen had left in with them.

(Good grief. This woman's a fucking lunatic. What the hell does Leon see in her?) Chris stroked his chin in contemplation.

"Ok, Winters, it's all up to you now. No pressure, rookie."

"Don't worry, Mister Redfield! I won't let you down!" Ethan's voice cackled over the coms with brimming enthusiasm despite the deaths of his partners. "But say…"

"What is it, rookie?" Chris asked.

"Ain't that a funny sight!" Ethan Winters' cams exposed a dog in the middle of the street. Muddy cats and pigs were running about behind it, while families of ducks crossed the road like they owned 'em. The dog was sitting directly in front of Ethan, and the two were looking at each other. The dog then began crapping without any shame in front of Ethan, and Ethan began chuckling. "What a dump China is! Reminds me of San Francisco!"

"Don't get caught up in the scenery like some tourist, rookie! You're on the clock here!" Chris reminded him sternly.

"Don't worry, Mister Redfield! That Chinawoman is takeout!" Ethan Winters readied to take off and continue the hunt for Ada. He pumped his fists to pump himself up. "Or my name ain't Ethan Winters!"

Suddenly Ada casually walked by him, holding an antique Chinese sword and cut Ethan's pumping hand off.

"Gee golly whiz! Not again!" Ethan remarked as blood spurted from his stump onto his face and he stared at his sliced-off hand. The same dog that had crapped in front of him ran up to the hand, took it in its mouth, and then ran off.

"I'm sorry, Miss, but I gotta take ya in for a special extended vacation with Mister Redfield. Even if it means I gotta break your pretty custard cream face to do it!" Ethan got into a basic white belt karate stance, and beckoned for her to come.

Without speaking, Ada Wong whipped her pistol out, shot him in the dick, and then ran up and flip-kicked him in the chin so hard Ethan Winters went flying into the atmosphere.

Dumbfounded, Chris Redfield watched Ethan Winters fly all the way into outer space screaming. Eventually the screaming stopped as Ethan Winters froze solid in the vacuum of space, but the feed continued for a time until it frosted over and cut off for good.

"I knew I shouldn't have sent some goddamn civvies into the field." Chris slapped himself.

(Maybe I should've injected the boys with some R-Virus to give 'em that boulder-smashin' boost… but I doubt their puny manhoods could've handled it either.) Chris chastised himself in thought.

"Hello, hello? This Chris Redfield?" Ada's voice came on over the com-line. Through the damaged feed of Billy Coen's cam, Chris could see Ada holding his radio. "You fucking sent assassins after me again?"

"Yes I did! Because you keep getting in the way of the Redfield lineage. This would be a lot easier if you would just lay down and die!" Chris snarled. He wished he could just reach through the screen and strangle the bitch with some fucking chow mein where she stood.

"Excuse me if I don't find a man frightened of the female orgasm quite so intimidating." Ada tsk'ed as she checked her ammo and supplies.

"The Redfield Lineage will not stand for these insults!" Chris' fists clenched.

"I think it shall. Don't make me come down there and whup it into you myself."


"Oh… now there's an idea. See ya soon, Ching-Chong." Chris chuckled on the other end of the line before he switched it off.

Ada frowned as she tossed the radio aside. What exactly did Chris mean by that? He'd been sending goons to kill her at least once a week for the past six months, and that wasn't exactly ending well for them. Was he now going to change his MO to basic kidnapping? Like that would work, yeah right.

At least Leon, for all the faults in their odd relationship, hadn't gotten around to sending armed mercenaries after her. Yet.

(Ah, whatever. Let him come. I'm sure I can kick his ass.) Ada patted her belly. Killing the bunches of assholes that Redfield sent after her always did make her a bit peckish. And a couple of herbs weren't going to cut it for this Wong's appetite.

She passed a couple of tea houses, some noodle houses, and a suspect-looking Chinese knock-off of a well-known American fast food chain titled KFG right down to some nondescript Asian lad drawn in the style of the Colonel himself. Ada was almost morbidly curious to find out what that G stood for. Gourd? Goat? Godzilla? Eh, curiousity killed the cat and this kitty wasn't in the mood to cut back on lives just yet.

Ada ended up in one of the restaurants and ordered herself a big bowl of beef noodle soup. She was digging into her heart's content when she felt two hands, so cold it was like swimming buck-naked in the Arctic Sea, clamp down on her shoulder.

"You oughtta watch yourself." A woman's voice spoke. As she did, Ada whirled around hoping to catch this intruder into the privacy of her lunch-time off-guard with a spinning elbow to the neck.

As the fight broke out, the staff fled into the kitchen and barricaded it while the patrons closest to the door burst outside screaming while others blocked by the coming storm huddled underneath tables in fear.

No luck for the elbow attack. The assailant was fast, slapping Ada's blow off-course. Ada tried to hit her again, but the attack was dodged. Things were going so fast Ada could barely get a good look at her attacker. All she could make out was a red blur. Ada threw a high kick at woman in red's head, only for the woman to duck and then swing her leg towards Ada's standing leg to unbalance her.

"Noodles are Grand Central for carbs. Too many and you won't wanna be caught dead in that dress." The woman was blathering as Ada fell.

Ada slapped her palm on the floor of the restaurant to break her fall. She moved to rip her knife out of its sheath and give that mouthy bitch a few more holes to talk out of, but a heeled boot stomped on her arm to pin it down.

"Of course… I wear it better than you ever will." Ada finally got a good look at her assailant.

A tall white woman with moody, vacant supermodel looks. The too perfect ideal of a perfect woman. Good for looking good in a fight and not too much else. For whatever reason, this woman wearing a red dress like she was. Ada didn't recognize her. The new bitch had caught her off guard. If she'd caught wind a second sooner, they'd have swapped places in this current set-up.

"Who the fuck are you?" Ada demanded as she sprung up, kicking at the woman in red again as she did.

"Oh, I'm afraid Master Chris has my secret origin under an NDA." The woman in red blocked her attacks. "But I'll give you a little teaser…"

Ada ran at the woman in red, springing into a flying kick. The woman in red calmly jumped and flipped into the air. She landed by clamping her two legs around Ada's neck as Ada crashed into the fish tank.

The woman in red squeezed Ada's neck, choking her slowly and cruelly as water and dying fish washed over them.

"My name is Alice."

These were the last words Ada heard before she blacked out.


Back in the bar of ill fortune in Kamurocho, Kiryu was still racking his brains trying to figure out how to deal with the flaming HUNK.

"Damn you! Fight me you sissy boy!" HUNK kept swinging and grabbing at Kiryu, as the confused Dragon of Dojima continued assessing the situation. "You don't wanna fight me cause I'm on fire, huh? Well that's just prejudiced!"

This wasn't helped that the flaming man kept screaming English nonsense at him, and Kiryu was starting to get annoyed by it.

"The ACLU will be hearing about your ass! Right after I kick it!" HUNK charged at Kiryu, and Kiryu dove out of the way. HUNK slammed into the wall, dislodging a dartboard and several hanging pictures.

"Kiryu, catch!" Leon, while evading the murderous Krauser-bot, ran towards the wall. He used his momentum to perform a brief wall-run all the way to the fire extinguisher, and kicked it towards Kiryu.

"Thanks, Leon!" Kiryu flashed Leon a thumbs-up as he caught the extinguisher.

"No problemaaaaaagh!" Leon was about to return it when Krauser tackled him like a star quarterback.

"Welcome to Krauser's Diner! The special today? FACEFUL OF FIST." Krauser began pounding on Leon.

(I hope Leon can hold out long enough for me to take care of my problem. He gave me exactly what I need.)

Kiryu was about to douse HUNK with extinguisher foam when the man in black collapsed abruptly.

The air smelt like burnt KEVLAR and flesh. The burning HUNK was silent as the flames continued to eat his still body, until Kiryu extinguished them.

(So that's how you defeat a man on fire. Just wait for the fire to defeat him.)

Kiryu turned away.

The second he took a step, HUNK suddenly twitched back to life.

"RAAAAAAAAAH!" HUNK howled and grabbed Kiryu by the neck.

Kiryu responded by slamming the extinguisher into HUNK's gut with such force he heard something in the man crack.

HUNK let go and Kiryu began swinging the extinguisher into HUNK's helmeted head until he had dented the extinguisher beyond use. HUNK was made of hard stuff, his helmet still intact despite the dozens of cracks Kiryu had made in its burnt foundation.

HUNK kept going.

Kiryu stepped back only to find himself pressed against the pool table. He threw cue balls at HUNK to stall him, until his hand found the cue. Putting all his force in the thrust, Kiryu ran forward like he was holding a spear and rammed the cue into the left red lens on HUNK's helmet.

There was the sickening puncture of something soft going pop from inside, and Kiryu kept pushing until the cue came out on the other side. Kiryu let go, and looked at the man HUNK with a long pool cue stuck in his head.

"Owie owie owie!" HUNK mumbled as he bounced back trying to pull the cue out of his head, to no avail. "Uh, we'll call this a draw!"

HUNK then ran away, getting caught in the doorframe several times due to the cue stuck in his head.

Meanwhile, Krauser had just about finished Leon. He flung Leon onto the floor.

"Ha ha ha Leon there's no point! Your puny human fists are no match for my new robot strength! You're gonna pay for breaking my heart! We were like brothers… no, more than that! And you pissed it all away to chase some hairy skank!" Krauser hissed at Leon, kicking him while he was down.

"How dare you! My Ada's got hair only where a girl should have hair! She's a cleanly-shaven exemplar!" Leon protested as Krauser grabbed him by the hair. "Wait… not the hair! Not the hair!"

"Oh, yes the hair." Krauser cackled sadistically. "When she sees you're balder than my asscheeks, no way Ada Wong's gonna fuck you!"

Krauser then plucked one of Leon S. Kennedy's hairs out. Just one hair. But one was enough.

"FUCK YOU!" Leon screamed, entering a superpowered state of berzerker fury. He lifted his legs up while Krauser made another move for his hair, and kicked him with such force he bisected the robot.

"What.. what the fuck?" Krauser looked at the trails of circuits and wires that were strewn about between his two separate halves. "How did you break me in two with your puny human legs?"

"A HEARTLESS PRODUCT OF FACTORY ENGINEERING IS NO MATCH FOR A MAN IN TRUE LOVE!" Leon stomped towards Krauser as the now fearful android tried to crawl away on his belly like a snake.

He wasn't fast enough. Leon hoisted Krauser up with just one arm, and with his pistol in the other, shot the leg of an upturned table, splintering it until he crated a very sharp looking point.

Leon proceed to impale Krauser on the table leg.

"Uh, Leon… I'm, uh, sorry for messing with your hair! Can't we just talk this over?" Krauser begged as Leon wiped his hands.

"Time for talking's over. I think I'm just gonna beat you to death with your own arms." Leon said.

"THIS ONE'S FOR ADA!" Leon tore Krauser's right arm off.

"AND THIS ONE'S FOR ME!" Leon tore Krauser's left arm off.

Armed with Krauser's robot arms, Leon played the drums with Krauser's head until the robotic facsimile of his old enemy was no more.

Leon looked over his destructive handiwork, dropping the ruined arms, and caught his breath.

Something bonked him on the back of his head.

"Who knew I wanted apple juice before I even asked?" Leon rubbed the impact zone, and saw what had hit him. A bottle of apple juice. He then assumed the trajectory, and turned to look at the presumed source.

Jill was sitting with her legs crossed at the bar, looking pretty bored, tossing another bottle up and down. Kiryu was right next to her, drinking some booze, leaving yen with an apologetic note for every drink he took.

"Took you boys long enough." Jill yawned.

"I don't think I'll be allowed to drink here ever again." Kiryu sighed.

Suddenly Leon's cell phone began to ring. The ringtone was Bowie's version of China Girl.

"Oh fucking Christ it's Chris." Leon saw the caller ID.

"What the fuck do you want, Chris?" Leon answered as Jill and Kiryu watched.

"Just be quiet and listen. Put it on speaker if you must." Chris ordered.

"Hey, Leon. It's me." A voice unfamiliar to Kiryu started speaking over the phone.

"Ada… is that you? No. No. NOOOOO!" Leon shouted as he realized what had been done.

(This must be that Chinese woman, judging from his reaction.) Kiryu realized.

"Yeah, Chris kidnapped me. I guess." Ada's tone seemed pretty nonplussed but Leon was frantic nonetheless. "He won't let me go unless you surrender and fuck his sister in the next twenty-four hours. And if you don't show up…"

Chris took over again.

"I'm gonna fuck her!"

"Wait what?" Everyone but Kiryu said.

"Yeah, that's right! And I'll make videos of us fucking! Videos that I'll send to you, Leon! So that when you finally get to fuck Ada Wong, you will know that Chris Redfield got to fuck her first!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Leon fell out his knees and roared to the apathetic heavens.

"What the fuck, Chris!" Jill snatched the phone in an outraged fit. "You're gonna fuck her before you fuck me?"

"Wait… you're right. I can't fuck her. Her genes aren't good enough. Thanks, Jill, for that save. I knew you were still my very good platonic friend deep down!"

"IT'S STILL THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS, YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKER!"

Jill threw the phone onto the floor and began stomping on it.

"Jesus Christ, Jill, I'm the one who's supposed to be angry here. That dumb retard finally up and did it! He endangered my waifu!" Leon's fists were clenched, and he was shaking with rage.

"It's obviously a trap." Jill slapped herself in the face, and took some deep breaths to calm down.

"I know. But do you think I'm gonna leave Ada at his mercy? Like hell! What kind of boyfriend would I be to put my wellbeing above hers at a time like this?"

"Leon, you have like one gun with like two bullets left in it." Jill pointed out.

"Whatever. I've lived through worse." Leon charged towards the door, knocking it down, firing his gun two times as he did. He whooped and hollered, like a cowboy riding off to the gunfight. "ADA, I'M COMING!"

Jill and Kiryu watched Leon disappear into the night.

"Uh… should we be going after him?" Kiryu asked.

"Yeah, I guess we should. He's an idiot, but he's still our idiot." Jill took one last swig of the hard stuff.

They took one step outside when they stopped in their tracks.

They heard the sirens first. Then smelled the burning fires. And finally, above it all, the moaning and shuffling. It was a kind of sound that Kiryu had only ever heard before in the movies. Kiryu turned his head to where the ominous noise was coming from.

"Nani?" (What?) Kiryu said as he saw the horde slowly but surely making its way towards them. The once living residents of Kamurocho that comprised the horde had been corrupted by the R-Virus into something beyond human. Into something dead. And something hungry.

Screaming Kamurocho locals ran past Kiryu and Jill as they stood their ground. Those who weren't lucky were torn apart by the horde as they fell upon them, ripped open and chewed like steaks on a plate.

They filled the streets, clogging every spot of open earth.

(Are those… zombies?) Kiryu blinked, pinched himeslf to make sure he was awake.

Jill raised her arms, aimed her gun. But already there were too many for her bullets. Where the hell did they all come from?

(I had a dream like this once. A Kamurocho of the Dead. Akiyama, Majima, even Ryuji Goda were there. Hey, didn't Majima actually stage a zombie outbreak just like this just so he could pick a fight with me once? Dammit, not again!)

"Majima... did you do all this just for me? You can come out now." Kiryu shouted out. The horde just shambled on closer. Majima was nowhere in sight. Kiryu crossed his arms, tapped his foot impatiently.

(The make-up he uses for his zombies has gotten even better, I must admit.) Kiryu grudgingly thought.

"Majima, this trick's old. It isn't going to work a second time, and besides this is not a good time. But if it'll get you to leave me alone, I'll figh- hey!" Kiryu protested as Jill grabbed his arm, and she began running with him in tow confused totally confused. Away from the horde that was bearing down towards them. But deep in her heart, Jill already knew that soon there would be nowhere to run, that they would be surrounded on all sides.

Neither knew it, but the night of the Redfield lineage had begun.

To be continued...