After classes on Tuesday, House went up to the headmaster's quarters to check on Severus. Tippy had reported that the man was having severe mood swings and he figured the time had come to nudge Snape toward living. He only hoped he was ready to start baring his own soul in the process.

Tippy was just setting down a tea tray when House arrived through the floo, fussing at Severus who was seated in an armchair staring blankly out a window over the school grounds. House had Tippy put another armchair by Snape and sent her on her way. He sat down in the chair and stared out at the grounds in silence.

Snape finally looked up about twenty minutes later. As soon as he made eye contact, House got up and poured them both a cup of tea and handed Snape his. "Come to talk me off the ledge?" Snape asked quietly, his voice still gravelly and rough.

"Yup," House replied, sipping his tea but saying nothing more. Snape waited then sighed when it became apparent that House was going to wait him out.

"Why should I be happy to be alive?" Snape demanded. "I was prepared to die. I gave sixteen years to Dumbledore and the war against Voldemort, teaching at this school. Why isn't that enough?"

House shrugged and remained silent, taking another sip of tea.

"Do you know how hard it was to walk the balance between two masters? To be a double agent? Trying to protect Potter who seemed to run headlong at every danger? Never being trusted by my allies, neither in the Order or the Death Eaters? I risked and gave up enough for a lifetime," Snape continued, a couple of stray tears escaping his control.

"No, I don't know how hard it was. No one knows and they won't ever know if you don't describe it. Maybe you should write a book about those years as a double agent," House responded. Snape scoffed harshly.

"Like they care."

"Most probably don't. There are a few who care. They care a great deal and would gladly show you if you'd let them."

"Who? Potter?"

"Yes, him for one. Minerva, me, Narcissa, Draco for others."

"We barely knew each other. How can you care?" Snape demanded. House hid his pleasure that Snape didn't question that the others cared about him.

"When I make a friend, I count them a friend for life. It doesn't matter how long it's been since I've seen them," House explained. He stared out the window over the grounds as he answered. "Besides, I blew up my life in the last few years and got to the point where I didn't care whether I lived or died. Got to the point where I thought that death would free me; from the pain of my leg, from the hostility and condescending disappointment of my colleagues."

"It would have," Snape said flatly.

"Yeah, it would have. But then my friend Wilson got cancer, got a death sentence himself of six months. I knew I had to make his last six months the best they could be."

"Since you're here, I assume he died… my condolences," Snape commented then fell silent for a long moment. "What made you decide to come to wizarding Britain?"

"I'd used up my life in the States," House answered. "I violated parole to be with Wilson and would have been sent to jail so I engineered my own death. I wasn't about to show up again and go back to jail. I was weighing out my options when I remembered that summer with you and Evans in Cokesworth and I thought I'd try to find the way into the wizarding world. I remembered you talking about the Leaky Cauldron in London as an entry to Diagon Alley so I made up my mind to come here."

"But you're still using your own name. Are you not concerned you'll be found out?"

"A little. But I don't think I'll get extradited for a parole violation and faking my own death. I guess… no, I know that I wanted to find out if I could be part of this world as myself. I had a lot of trouble relating to people and people pretty much hated me, thought I was an ass. That first night at the Leaky Cauldron, I wondered if being a wizard had anything to do with it. Could they subconsciously tell that I was different from them? I can't rule it out without testing it, so I kept my own name."

"You would likely have the same personality with a different name," Snape commented, frowning.

"Maybe. Maybe not. Hearing myself called House is quite an intense and well-seated mental trigger," House answered with a smirk.

Both men fell silent. House waited for Snape to speak and choose the direction of the conversation, thinking it more important to just have him speaking than to address any one particular issue. Snape was intensely curious, just as House himself was, so he was sure that Snape wasn't done asking questions yet.

"How did you blow up your life?" Snape asked after a few minutes had passed.

"Well, in the last eight years, I've been shot in the stomach and neck. Survived an OD on drugs. Was seriously injured in a bus crash and complications for risky medical procedures I went under immediately afterward. I almost lost Wilson's friendship. The man who raised me died. One of the doctors working for me committed suicide. I suffered severe hallucinations leading to having to detox off the drugs for my leg and a stint in a psychiatric hospital. I hooked up with my boss, on old flame from college for a while but that blew up when she had a cancer scare and I relapsed on the painkillers to deal with the anxiety. She dumped me without even giving me a chance to explain. So, I figured, in for a penny, in for a pound and went back on the drugs in a big way. Lots of drugs, booze, hookers and risky behavior.

"I married a Russian woman on paper so that she could get citizenship. I tried an experimental treatment that was showing promise to regrow the missing muscle in my leg but it caused tumors as well. I tried to surgically remove them on my own in the bathtub but wound up having to call my ex-boss to take me to a hospital to finish the job. I drove my car into my ex-boss's house. Went to jail for aggravated assault for a year. Got out early on a work release and went back to the hospital but my new boss was one of my former employees. My Russian wife found out I delayed delivering the news of her citizenship to spend more time with her and she promptly dumped me. My mom got remarried shortly after my dad died and finally decided to tell me. Wilson got cancer, tried a radical treatment that didn't work. A prank gone wrong and my new boss pulled the work release and was sending me back to jail to serve the remaining six months time on my sentence. Wilson only had five months to live. I finally faked my death and ran off to spend what was left of Wilson's life with him. After Wilson was gone there was nothing for me and I came here. Bare bones facts of how I came to Hogwarts," House finished, looking over at Snape to see his reaction.

Snape was staring back at House trying to determine if he was telling the truth. He dared to cast a non-verbal legilimens and skimmed through the surface memories finding many residual images of the events that House had reeled off. He withdrew without watching any of them, as he'd found confirmation that House was telling the truth. Grudgingly, he had to admit that House had also been through hell. Maybe he could begin to understand what Snape was feeling.

"I was a death eater many years ago," Snape said after a long moment. "I was courted to join because I was outcast and my abilities for potions and writing spells. I lost Lily's friendship over it, even before I officially joined them."

"That must have been a hell of a blow," House remarked, remembering how close Snape and Lily had been.

"At the time I thought it was the worst thing that could have happened to me. I was wrong. It got worse. I eavesdropped on the late headmaster, Dumbledore, who was meeting with a seer and heard part of a prophecy about one who would stand against Voldemort. I took that prophecy back to him. Later on, I was horrified when Voldemort decided that Lily's son was the one who could defeat him and swore to kill the boy. I switched sides that night, agreeing to spy in exchange for their safety. It didn't do any good. Another gave them away and Voldemort killed Lily and her husband, attempted to kill the boy but failed."

"Potter. The books I read state it was Lily's sacrifice that rebounded Voldemort's killing curse. Is that true?"

"Dumbledore believed so. Blood magic and sacrifice are some of the strongest and most ancient forms of magic, so it is entirely possible. Either way, Lily was dead and it was my fault she'd been targeted at all."

House understood Snape's feelings completely.

"I get that," he replied. "I do," he insisted when Snape narrowed his eyes at him. "The girlfriend Wilson had, the one that was like a female version of me… I got her killed. I was drunk and called Wilson for a ride. Amber answered. I blew her off. I wanted Wilson. But she came anyway. I told her I didn't want a ride from her and got on the bus but I forgot my cane in the bar. She grabbed it and got on the bus with me, said she wanted to make sure I got home safe because Wilson would want that. The bus got hit by a garbage truck. Long story short, she died. Wilson almost didn't get to say goodbye to her because he was with me and I couldn't recall what had happened, that it was her that was with me. It took him a long time to forgive me for that."

"Did you ever forgive yourself?" Snape wondered aloud.

"That took me a long time too and a stint in a psychiatric hospital," House responded quietly.

Snape said nothing and they both sat and sipped the remains of their tea in silence for several minutes.

"I was the one to kill Dumbledore when the death eaters took the school," Snape volunteered. "He was dying already from a cursed ring and wrung a promise from me on the vows I made to him the night I changed sides. People hate me for that more than anything else. I hate me for that. I didn't want to do it," Snape insisted, looking at House intensely.

"I believe you," House answered, meeting his gaze in return. "That was a lot to ask of anyone but especially you when he was often your only supporter."

"I know it was best for the overall plan but not for me personally. But then Dumbledore was willing to sacrifice individuals for the greater good. In some ways, he and Voldemort were very much alike," Snape continued. "I lived with censure and distrust from them all the entire time I was working as a spy for Dumbledore. Even those that knew I was a spy. I don't want to continue to live like that now. Don't you understand that? I don't have the strength left to continue to fight against their uninformed judgement and rejection."

"I'm sure there will be some who will always think that of you. But there might be some that have changed their minds about you now that they know the truth. You should give them a chance to show you."

"To risk being rejected? No thank you," Snape growled, setting off another coughing fit that prompted Tippy to pop in with another cup of tea, this one with honey and lemon to soothe his sore throat.

House waited in silence while Tippy fussed over Snape, thinking through what he could do that might help Snape take a step forward. He shook his head as he realized one thing that might do it.

"You know the new wizard studies professor?" House asked.

"Jesse MacDougal? I know of his family. They are friendly to muggles and muggle-born and firmly on the light side during the war. What of him?"

"He's my half-brother."

"What?" Snape said, sitting up straighter in surprised consternation. "You know that for certain?"

"Gringott's did a pedigree when I opened my account there. His father and my mother had a little fling while John was off on assignment. I haven't contacted any of them. Haven't even talked to him yet. Been avoiding him like the plague actually."

"For fear that he might reject you," Snape guessed accurately.

"Guilty as charged. I'm not sure I'm strong enough to take it if that family doesn't want me either. So I've got a proposition for you. You take the risk of rejection and have a meal with a small group of people that McGonagall picks out and I'll sit down with Jesse and show him the pedigree and tell him who I am, here in your office if you want. What do you say?"

Snape didn't like the idea but he had to admit that it was a fair deal. House was risking just as much rejection as he would be.

"That's very Slytherin of you. I accept the challenge. Set up the dinner next week," Snape responded, holding out his hand to House, who eyed it, then took it and shook on it.

"It's a deal. By the way, did Draco tell you that Narcissa reconciled with Andromeda?" House asked in a calculated, casual tone.

"No. When did this happen?"

"This past weekend. Narcissa wrote her, Andromeda came to my flat and we all talked it out, got the chance to meet Teddy Lupin. Cute kid."

"I appreciate what you've done and are continuing to do for Draco and Narcissa," Snape said sincerely. "If you or they need anything, please tell me. Draco is my godson; I'd like to help."

"Will do. You alright now? Or do I need to practice the incarcerous spell?" he asked teasingly. He could feel that Snape's tension and distress had eased.

"I'm alright for now. But I'm holding you to our agreement."

"And I holding you to our agreement," House returned with equal firmness. "I'll leave you to rest then. Got to finish grading homework," he added, getting to his feet and stretching. Both men nodded goodnight to each other and House left Snape to Tippy's care again.

"Headmaster is feeling better?" Tippy asked with concern.

"Yes, Tippy. I'm tired and going to bed."

"I'll get the bed nice and warm for you," she said and disappeared to do just that. A few minutes later, Snape was ensconced in warmed blankets with only a single small candle burning and he was asleep within minutes.