McGee watched in horror as Gibbs growled and dunked his phone into his mostly full coffee mug. The loud, constant, and annoying ringing stopped immediately.
Tony didn't react, he merely sighed and hit a button on his keyboard that started the printer behind him and reached into the filing cabinet behind him to pull out one of the many boxes containing replacement phones for Gibbs. "Third phone today." He grumbled.
"Why?" McGee asked nervously. He'd never seen Gibbs destroy a phone, he only knew there were replacements at all because of the time Gibbs phone overheated during that time when the AC wasn't working and it was really hot out.
"It's the anniversary of one of his divorces. Don't know which one, but she keeps calling him. She does this every year. Last year, I had to get her number on the 'reject' list through NCIS, so she can't call his work phone anymore." Tony explained quietly while he pulled a small case out of his desk and opened it to reveal SIM cards. He quickly and efficiently traded out the SIM card from the new phone for one of the ones in the case and turned it on.
Almost immediately, it started to ring again, causing Gibbs to snap his head up with a glare. Tony took one look at the caller ID and grimaced before hanging up the call.
McGee winced when he saw the look that the poor phone was getting, and grabbed it from Tony before he could give it to Gibbs. He assumed the number that Tony winced at was hers, so he quickly blocked it.
"There. That number is blocked now. It can't come through anymore." He said in satisfaction, handing the phone to Gibbs, who took it warily and watched it for a few minutes in suspicion, as if it might attack him. When it didn't ring again, he relaxed and went back to what he was doing before.
"Where did those SIM cards come from, and why did that one work? Those don't come pre-programmed." He asked Tony. The cell and service provider had to program the phone with the right information, otherwise it wasn't going to actually make or receive calls.
"Hm?" Tony looked up from the form he was looking over and filling out. "Oh, Abby cloned his SIM card years ago, after the first time he destroyed one. We went to switch out the old one into a new phone, and it was cracked. She spent hours trying to recover any of his data off of it, I think she only got his phones basic information off of it. We had to go to his service provider and... it was a mess. Then, we had to spend hours talking Gibbs through how to program his speed dial, he has all the other numbers memorized. It's a good thing she cloned them, because then he started dunking them in coffee or paint thinner if he was really annoyed." Tony explained.
"Why didn't you just block the number before today?" Tim decided not to even go there.
"We did." Tony grimaced. "Five SIM cards ago." He filled in a few more blanks on the form and got up to give it to Gibbs to sign.
"What's this?" He demanded after scanning it over.
"New form to fill out from the guys down in Supply in cahoots with the guys in accounting. They're tired of constantly having to replace your phone. So, from now on, every phone you destroy, half of it's market value with be deducted from your salary." He explained bluntly. "And if it continues to be a problem, then that will change to them charging you the full market price."
"When?" Gibbs asked warily. He'd never heard of this before.
"I was reading the email and printing out the new forms as your old phone took a swim." Tony said bluntly. "Which means, as you were not informed yet, that phone does not count. However, every phone you destroy from now on, means more paperwork for me." He leaned over Gibbs desk threateningly.
Gibbs blinked and resisted the urge to swallow nervously. "Yeah?"
"Yeah." Tony nodded slowly. His eyes promised to make Gibbs work life miserable if Gibbs created more unnecessary paperwork for him.
Neither of them even considered just not filling out the new forms. There were cameras in the room, pointed right at their area. Supply and accounting would both know when they got requisitions for new phones for Gibbs, but none of the new forms to accompany it.
Gibbs nodded his understanding while Tony fished the old phone out of the coffee mug.
"You do that, while I take this down to Abby. Maybe she can salvage something." Tony muttered, eyeing the paperwork stack in warning. He headed for the elevator while Kate, Tim, and Gibbs watched. Two in shock and awe, the other thoughtful.
Gibbs head suddenly snapped around and he barked. "Anticipation, McGee!"
"Yes, Boss!" McGee jumped and said, almost automatically.
Gibbs snorted and looked down at the paperwork Tony had handed him and scowled. He briefly contemplated going for a coffee run, but knew that if this wasn't done or being done before Tony came back, he was going to be swamped with paperwork, unwanted phone calls, unwanted emails, etc. Just like the time he kept getting phone calls from people inquiring about the car he was selling a while back. He didn't even own that kind of car, he knew what was going on, though.
The day before those phone calls started, he'd made the mistake of getting on Tony DiNozzo's bad side.
What did he do?
He punished Tony for something he'd thought Tony had done, so Tony set up an ad on eBay and in the newspaper for a car for sale, and put Gibbs contact info down as the owner.
After everything with Jeffrey White was done, he'd gone to Tony's apartment, pizza and beer in hand, to grovel, and find out the real story behind the event that he punished Tony for.
Turned out, Tony had assigned Kate to cleaning out and restocking the truck as punishment for back-talk and consistently not getting her reports done on time, or filled out correctly. He left her alone to do that while he went to fill out a disciplinary action report, just to dangle in front of her as incentive to straighten her act up.
(In keeping with Tony's personality and style, Gibbs didn't know about any of this. Tony preferred dealing with discipline on the team himself, he'd only bring it to Gibbs attention if nothing he said or did worked and it was getting out of hand.)
However, instead of doing as she was told, Kate went to hang out with Abby, telling her that Tony was being unfair and trying to throw his 'non-existent' weight around. Needless to say, the truck didn't get cleaned, or restocked like it was supposed to be that week. Also, Abby didn't speak with Tony for a week outside of work-related interactions, until she was reamed out by Gibbs.
So, when they got called out to a crime scene, and the truck was still full of trash, and the bins and cabinets were still empty or half-empty... Gibbs demanded to know who was supposed to clean it out last to the nearest person, who happened to be Kate. She told him she thought it was Tony's job to do it last, and he was so angry about it not getting done that he didn't even stop and think about what was wrong with that statement. (Tony was the Senior Field Agent. Cleaning and stocking the truck wasn't his job, it was Kate and Tim's jobs as the junior and probationary agents).
So, he forced Tony to clean it and stock it while the rest of them went out to eat, after one of the biggest head slaps he'd ever delivered, accompanied by a lecture about doing his job. Tony was so confused about what he was supposed to have done, and Gibbs didn't even let him get a word in to ask what he'd done. He didn't learn what he was supposed to have done until later, when Kate taunted him about it.
Needless to say, that disciplinary action report he was going to File 13, didn't get File 13'd. And he wrote her up additionally for insubordination and not following orders.
So, as soon as Tony was done with the truck, he'd gone straight to his computer and taken those ads out. Two days later, they finally got permission for their plan for Jeffrey White to go ahead, and they scrambled into place, which is when the phone calls started coming in with people asking about a non-existent car for sale.
After Gibbs finally learned what happened, and why the truck wasn't cleaned and restocked, he apologized (it was allowed when it was important and an apology was actually warranted. It was the apologizing for nothing that really got to him) and the next day Kate was yelled at for not following orders and then for lying to Gibbs about it. She was suspended for two weeks, during her suspension, she was to attend FLETC classes about writing up proper reports and the chain of command. This, of course, set Abby off and she stormed up to Tony's desk to yell at him for being so childish and petty.
Needless to say, Gibbs was not happy with her, and made sure she knew the truth of what really happened.
She was denied Caf-pow for a month, Gibbs even made sure to call in at all the places near the Yard that sold it to make sure they knew not to sell to her, or allow any NCIS agent or anybody else associated with NCIS to buy it for her (even though Gibbs was the only one to bring her any). They were under instructions to ask who it was for. Naturally, Gibbs couldn't stop her from drinking it at her apartment or getting it somewhere else away from the yard, but security was also instructed not to allow her to bring any in with her.
Tony didn't talk to her for a month, not until she apologized and was sincere.
So, no. He didn't want to get on Tony's bad side. Not again. It just wasn't worth it.
He sighed. He was going to have to find some other way of curbing his temper or solving his problems that didn't involve destroying his phone. For one, he didn't want to get it taken out of his salary, not that he couldn't afford it, and for another? He didn't want to force unnecessary paperwork on his SFA.
Last time somebody tried to do that... well, lets just say that there was a reason his team actually had less paperwork to do compared to the other investigative teams in NCIS. But that was a story for the bean-counters and bureaucrats to tell.
