Halloween brought a welcome feeling of normal excitement among the younger years. Despite his dislike of the season for its memories and the high sugar-fueled energy of the children, this year Snape was pleased to see it. He had listened in on the music that House was composing in Filius' chorus room. He hadn't even realized there was a piano down there. It was an intriguing composition, full of melancholy and dirge but ending on a note of hope. He had put the memory of the music into the pensieve to listen to it again and again, finding it comforting.

He had not yet returned to speak with the mind healer again. The first week he had avoided thinking about the question she posed. But this week… this week he had been unable to think of anything else. Tonight was the feast and the slideshow. The mind healers were planning to be there for the show as well as the following two mornings, which he thought would be a good thing. He was nervous about the the feast, nervous about the emotions it would bring up, but he would face it for the students. On his own terms and for his own reasons this time.

The day dragged on interminably long but finally it was time for the feast. The students were gathered in the hall, the youngest chattering excitedly, the oldest sitting in nervous silence. Snape stepped up to the podium and called the young students to order.

"This year, we will start a new tradition, to honor the wizarding holiday of Samhain. For those of you who might not know, Samhain was once considered the turn of the year and a night when the veil between the living and the dead is the thinnest. This is a night when we honor our ancestors and those who have passed beyond the veil. There are several old traditional rituals that some wizarding families still observe. Your Wizarding Studies class will discuss them this coming week. This year, we have a special event planned in light of the war fought this past spring. Before Professor House begins the event, I ask that you all observe a moment of silence."

The Hall was quiet for a full minute before House stepped up to the podium.

"As the Headmaster said, Samhain is about honoring the souls of the dead. The sixth, seventh, and eighth year students have put together a special memoriam for the relatives and friends that were lost in the past year and the war. But I challenge you all to remember that mourning is happening on both sides. It isn't about winners and losers, light or dark, right or wrong. This is about losing people that they loved. Fathers. Mothers. Siblings. Friends. Everyone is still mourning and this event is to let us mourn together, to support each other, and hopefully to move forward together."

He stepped aside to the piano that had been brought to the hall as the Snape and McGonagall put the overhead candles out with a wave of their wands. With a nod at Filius to start the slideshow, he began to play the music he'd written. There were some murmurs and quiet sobs from the children. Draco and the older Slytherins were very nervous along with a few other scattered dark family children in the other houses. As some of the better known Death Eaters were featured there was increased murmuring and a few scattered protests.

Draco dreaded the response his father's picture would garner and desperately wished he hadn't participated. The picture came up though and although there were a few more protests, it was nothing like he had feared. He glanced furtively at some of the other students at the other house tables and realized that the choice of picture had done what Granger had suggested. As the slideshow neared completion the music turned and started to take on an air of hope. The last picture in the show was hard for Draco to see and he glanced up at Snape who was stoic as he stared up at an image of Albus Dumbledore.

After the pictures and the music ended, Snape allowed the Hall to sit in muffled silence in the dark for a full minute before he and Minerva stood and relit the overhead candles. He moved back to the podium and looked out into the eyes of the students for a long moment.

"Headmaster Dumbledore once said, 'It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.' But the Headmaster also understood that while past choices had consequences, some of them harsh and severe, that people could begin to make new, better choices. That they had to be allowed to do so, given the chance to change course in their lives. The dead cannot change their course any longer. We can learn from them, from our own pasts, but we have to give ourselves and each other, a second chance to make a different choice. Think about that in the coming days. And now, let the feast begin."

Severus returned to his seat as the meal appeared on the table, prelude to the platters of sugary treats for dessert, and slowly the hall returned to the normal excited chatter levels. He nodded to House and began to eat while still monitoring the students, particularly the Slytherins. He saw a couple of students overwhelmed emotionally be escorted out of the hall with the healers; most of them returned to join the feast and the support of their friends.

Finally the night was over, the students were sent to their common rooms where Severus knew from years of experience that few would see their beds before midnight. He sat in his chair and waited until all the heads of house checked in as well as Madam Pomfrey that everyone who might still be in crisis was seen to then took to his own bed with a half dose of Dreamless Sleep.

The next morning, Snape made his way down to the classrooms set aside for the healers.

"Good morning, Headmaster," both healers greeted him.

"Good morning," he returned.

Healer Alexandra led the way into the classroom and took a seat in one of the chairs, waiting for him to join her. Snape stood in silence for a moment, then walked over and sat down.

"What are your thoughts on the slideshow last night?" he asked.

"I think it was well done and the students seemed receptive to the idea that even Death Eaters had family members they loved and lost," she answered. "Though I wouldn't be at all surprised if there is an emotional backlash in the next few weeks. I'd suggest patience and essays over harsher detentions when they act out."

"So you expect a delayed reaction," Snape nodded. It made sense; those that were still hurting the most would have time to think about the inclusion of people like Lucius Malfoy, and become angry over it.

"Yes. In fact, I would be worried if it doesn't happen. It's natural and they need to express their feelings. The challenge will be to help them do so in a way that promotes healing and doesn't just repeat the mistakes of the past and deepen the divide."

"On that note, what is your reaction?" she asked.

"It was difficult to see some of those pictures. Students that I taught and tried to protect. Order members. Former colleagues. I don't think I will sleep well for a while. Their deaths still weigh heavily on me."

"Were you able to sleep last night?"

"Only because I took Dreamless Sleep. The next few nights will be a challenge."

"Whose death weighs heaviest on you?"

"Charity Burbage," he answered sorrowfully. "She was the muggle studies teacher here, taken by the Death Eaters and tortured at their headquarters. She was killed in front of me at a meeting but not before she recognized me and pleaded for me to help her. I did nothing, said nothing."

"If you had said something, did something… would it have changed the outcome for her at all?"

Severus looked aside and thought about her question then shook his head negatively. "No. I couldn't have apparated her out quickly enough from where I was. We would both have been killed. But that makes it worse somehow. For all the ability that I had, the information I knew… none of it was the least help that day," he said, regret and frustration easily coming through in his voice.

Healer Alexandra said nothing, offered no false assurances. This was something he would have to wrestle with and come to grips with, though she would help him do that if he would allow her. For now, just admitting it and feeling it was enough of a start.

"Have you had time this week to think about what we discussed last time?"

"Truthfully, I have avoided thinking about it at first, but I have been unable to think of anything else this week. There are many things in my life that I am bitter over. Stretching all the way back to my childhood. The benefit I believe I gained was that it gave me a focus for my anger. I was able to bear the distrust and outright accusations of the other Order members by holding onto that bitterness and anger. And it helped me convince Voldemort and the Death Eaters that I was loyal to them."

"As for the harm it did… it kept me from making any connections with my colleagues. And I treated the students in my classes very badly for years. It makes me wonder why on Earth McGonagall wanted me to come back as headmaster."

"Do you want to be the headmaster?"

"No. I don't know. I've known nothing else but working here from early adulthood. It is… comfortable. Known. At least I no longer have to teach. I don't think I'm prepared to make a decision right now."

"You're still recovering. That should be your focus now. How are you feeling?"

"Better, bit by bit. I am finally starting to feel strong enough to actually take on some of the duties of headmaster. To walk from place to place rather than rely on my house elf minder to take me."

"And emotionally? How are you doing? Do you still want to die?"

"Sometimes," he admitted with a grimace, wishing he had never mentioned it to her. "But it is getting better too, however slowly."

"That's good to hear."

After a few last thoughts about possible reactions from the students, Snape left the healer's room and returned to his office to think.