Hey peoples!
New chapter ready and running.
Once again I've had another lucky break, so be very glad who knows when this will end.
As always read and don't forget to leave a review.
Now onwards my dears!
"Temari-san you're going to break the cup if you keep tightening your grip".
One would think that a nice cup of tea would sooth anyone. But apparently not, Temari had been so tense these past couple of days. She was irritated and much more quick-tempered then usual; Shikamaru had kept to his word and wrote to her often, but he always left out some details she would've liked to know. Hinata figured there was a reason for that, but she didn't think much of it. Right now though she wanted to try and calm down her enraged sister-in-law.
"I'm going to beat that husband of mine's ass with the nearest stick. The bastard hasn't even told me everything".
"Well he is trying to work somewhat under cover. What did you expect him to do?"
"A little more information is not going to kill him; he knows that I hate to be kept in the dark!"
Hinata gave a small sigh as she took another sip of her tea. So much for enjoying the peace, seems as though Temari wasn't going to calm down until Shikamaru returned; but she couldn't help but feel a little sorry for him. He was going to be in trouble when he did eventually come back. She was certain Temari would make sure of it.
"I trust that Shikamaru-kun knows what he's doing".
The blonde snorted "He'd better; otherwise he would've been wasting time".
Taking another sip of her tea she hoped that Shikamaru knew for sure what he was doing. It wasn't that she didn't trust in her friend's talents; but Shikamaru had always been somewhat of a mystery to her. She never understood how he managed to do what he did; always keeping a calm composure as he solved mysteries. Still, she wasn't one to question people's skills. Her friend would finish doing his part before coming home.
"Knowing him, he's probably thinking that this is troublesome. Sometimes I wonder why I even married that lazy ass man to begin with".
Hinata placed her cup down and folded her hands across her lap. A sudden thought then entered her mind.
"I…I only wish I knew what my father was doing right now".
Temari looked into her lavender eyes "Hinata-chan don't worry about it so much. You know that we're here to take care of things".
"Yes, and I'm very grateful. But lately though I've been feeling that I'm relying on others too much".
Temari gave her an odd look. It was like the comment itself felt way out of place.
"Hinata your pregnant of course you'll be needing help".
The bluenette shook her head "That's not what I meant. I feel as though I should be the one trying to resolve the conflicts that my father has created. Part of his anger is directed towards me, and as a former Hyuga I really should try and do my part of finding a solution to stop this foolishness".
Temari couldn't help but raise an eyebrow "Hinata-chan what do you mean part of your dad's anger is focused at you?"
It should've been expected that she'd ask something like that. Only Gaara knew the story concerning her mother and she knew that it wouldn't stay a secret for long. Mentally gritting her teeth, Hinata explained all that she could to Temari. She went from shock to anger, to sadness and finally understanding. Still didn't excuse any of the acts but at least now from Hinata's point of view it was a little more clearer.
"But what does Hanabi have to do with this? If his anger is towards you it would make more sense to leave your sister out of it".
Hinata tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. Oh, if only things could be so much easier for her.
"Nothing is ever that simple with father, he's angry at Hanabi because she refuses to take up the title as clan leader. She believes that it should go to me".
"Seriously? But didn't you say you'd rather give it to your cousin".
She nodded "I'd be much more at ease if Neji-niisan took the position. But he is a branch member and for as long as the Hyuga have been around the main family has always held the roles of leadership".
"That's stupid".
Hinata gave a sad laugh "It's the way things have always been. I would like to help Neji-niisan but I don't know how. Not when I have so much to think about".
Her voice sounded so sad that it nearly made Temari want to give her a hug. She really did not like seeing her sister-in-law like this. It was making her feel guilty.
The sandy blonde made a weird noise in the back of her throat as she gulped down the rest of her tea in one swing. Using the back of her hand to wipe her mouth she promptly stood up. "Be right back Hinata-chan I gotta go talk to Gaara quickly".
She kinda figured what was about to happen. And she didn't want to be the one to play the peace maker, but she would have too. Sighing she finished the rest of her tea before standing up and started to walk to her husband's office.
Quickly marching towards her brother's office Temari didn't bother to knock as she slammed the door opened. The red head jolted in his seat, surprised to see his older sister looking like she wanted to kill him. Gaara opened his mouth to ask what was troubling her but she beat him to the punch.
"You irresponsible jerk; you should be doing a better job at being a husband!".
Gaara looked confused as he set his papers down "Temari what are you-" he didn't get the chance to finish what he was saying as his sister slammed her hands down on his desk and got in his face.
"Hinata is still blaming herself for all that's happened so far. She feels as though it's her job to make everyone happy when clearly she doesn't know that she's not to blame for anything. It's your own damn fault that you haven't been taking proper care of her. You supposed to be reassuring her that she doesn't have to have her life dictated by a series of events, the fuck is wrong with you Gaara?!"
Gaara backed away a little to regain some of his personal space before sighing. "Temari believe me when I say that I'm trying. I know that Hinata still thinks that way. I've assured her many times that it's not her fault but it seems as though she must do this on her own or something".
"Well you haven't been doing a good job so far".
The red head resisted the urge to groan as he massaged his temples. The last thing he wanted right now was to argue with his sister. He knew from experience that once Temari got pissed nobody had a moment's peace. Oh yes, he'd definitely felt a headache coming on.
"There is only so much that I can do. Hinata will need to learn for herself that she's got nothing to be blaming herself for, you know how much she worries for others".
Temari rolled her eyes "Thank you captain obvious. But that still doesn't excuse you from not acting like a husband".
Gaara pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. He did not have the energy to be doing this right now. Sometimes his older sister could really be a pain.
"Temari I'm not going to argue with you; I've already told you I've done all that I can".
"That's exactly why you need to try harder!". She crossed her arms over her chest looking very much annoyed "When's the last time you actually gave the girl a little reassurance, you've been sitting in this damn office day in and day out. No wonder Hinata is falling into a pool of depression".
Gaara was about to say something when another voice interrupted "Temari-san please do not blame Gaara-dana".
Both turned their heads towards the door to see Hinata standing shyly in the doorway. She hurried inside and quietly closed the door behind her, leaning back against it as she kept her eyes on the floor. The last thing she wanted was for her husband to be getting a lecture that he didn't deserve.
"It's not Gaara-dana's fault, he's already done so much for me as it is. It's my own insecurities that are holding me back and I hate it…I hate how I still view myself as responsible for all the damage that's been done. I hate that I can't move on from the past it drives me crazy simply thinking about it".
There could've been a better time for her to spill her deepest feelings, but sometimes these things came unexpectedly and once you got started there was no way to stop. Inevitably accepting the emotional outbreak, Hinata simply allowed herself to talk silently hoping that it would help relieve some of the tension inside of her.
"I do not regret any of my past actions. But I do wish I had thought some things through before I jumped in. I've always been watched over for as long as I can remember, someone has always been keeping a constant eye on my every move".
The bluenette wipes her eyes feeling tears start to develop "No matter what I did it was never good enough for anyone. I always felt like giving up and finding a dark hole to hide in. But running away never solves anything so I forced myself to keep trying even though I was scared. Fear is something that you can never eliminate but you can overcome it".
She wiped her eyes some more refusing to cry. She was much stronger then that the person she once was so long ago. "I want to have a normal life; I want to live out the rest of my days in peace with the people I love the most. I've worked so hard to even get a glimpse of what having a simple life might feel like but it seems as though fate has decided that wasn't meant to be".
Hinata knew that she was getting angry, as her voice was starting to sound a bit harder but at this point she really didn't give a damn.
"I despise how my father has enforced this fear within me. It almost makes me feel like I'm ashamed of who I am. Why can't I ever stop letting myself take the blame for everything?! Why is it so hard to understand that it's not my fault and it never was".
She clenched her fists fighting back the tears as hard as she could. "It's all his fault that I feel this way, all those years of torture have put my mind in a state of constant panic. Well it's not going to work; I don't care how long it takes me but somehow I'm going to try and get over this fear that's eating me from the inside out. I want to have a future, not keeping wallowing in the past".
Her speech was cut to a halt when she felt warm hands give her shoulders a squeeze "Hinata you already have a future". Gaara gave her abdomen a light pat to reinforce what he meant.
Sensing the couple wanted to be alone; Temari silently left them alone to talk. She trusted that Gaara would take care of things from here.
The red head could see that his wife was fighting some internal battle within her and had been for some time. She looked like she would burst into tears at any moment, but he knew that she was thinking it would be a sign of weakness if she did. A shinobi must never let their feelings clog their sense of judgment. It could prove to be a fatal consequence if they did. But that was the problem, neither of them could be shinobi all of the time, it was important to understand that no matter how much they tried to deny it they were still humans.
"It's alright Hinata, you can cry".
As if right on command the tears erupted from her eyes and streamed down her cheeks. Beautiful lavender eyes were clouded with anger and sadness all of which was directed to herself.
Gaara pulled his wife close and stroked his hand through her hair and she cried into his shoulder. He didn't say anything knowing it would make her even angrier and simply allowed her to cry. She began to tremble and he held her tighter.
After a good long while she had finally stopped crying and was now leaning against him. He still didn't say anything as she was grateful for that. She didn't want to hear pretty words; she wanted to linger in the silence for as long as she could.
"Thank you for that". She finally said after another ten minutes.
Gaara kissed her forehead "I love you Hinata, please don't make me worry that I'm going to lose you".
The bluenette chewed her lower lip "I want to go to Konoha".
Gaara looked surprised "Hinata you can't your-". "I know that, I won't risk going now in my condition. But at some point I do want to go".
He gently took her chin and tilted her head up so that he could have her full attention. "What good would it do you? You know as well as I do that Hiashi will hurt you again. Why do you want to put yourself in that kind of predicament?"
There was a new kind of determination in her eyes "So I can face down the source of all my fears".
"Hmm?" he raised an eyebrow.
"I might have confronted my father before, but this time will be different. I want to prove to myself that I can overcome the shadows that haunt me. The only way to do that is to face down my father and assert myself once and for all".
Gaara gave her waist a gentle squeeze with his other arm. "That is a brave thing you want to do".
Hinata smiled a little "Yes, and even though it terrifies me I still want to do this. My life is mine to control and mine only. Nobody else has that right".
"How will you know when it's time?"
She paused for a moment that was a good question. "I do not know…now is not a good time. But I don't want to wait too long. I'll think about it".
Gaara knew that his wife was a strong woman, her confidence had gotten better and she wasn't so timid anymore. It made him proud to see her like this. The red head would let her fight her own battles, but as her husband he still needed to do his part and keep her safe.
He was right about to give her a kiss when his door opened and his older brother walked in. Kankuro seemed oblivious to his younger brother's glare as he walked past and placed some documents on his desk.
"Kankuro-san?"
The puppet master turned his attention to them "You'll have to save that lovey-dovey stuff for later, right now we need to talk. Shikamaru had just sent another message".
"What does it say?"
Kankuro didn't respond right away, it took a moment for Gaara to figure out what he was waiting for and he turned his attention to his wife. "Hinata I'll come and find you later, please do not fret over this it will be resolved somehow".
She nodded slowly "I understand". Gaara gave her a soft smile before kissing her briefly "I'm glad".
He watched as she left the room before giving his older brother his attention. Part of him was hoping that Shikamaru had actually found something, since all that he'd been giving them was somewhat vague details.
"Alright now tell me, what's going on this time".
Kankuro sighed "You may have to go to Konoha sooner than you think".
Yeah, that's about right for now.
Next chapter will be up shortly. I'm going to have to do some thinking for where I want to take this again. I'm really hoping that this story will turn out good, so please if you have any ideas that might help let me know!
Hope that this chapter was enjoyed.
Goodbye!
