Summer was fading into autumn, bringing in leaves of red and orange and adding a crispness to the air. Boomhauer took Leah on a weekend vacation to Corpus Christi at one of his favorite beach spots. He loved going places with her, and he loved that she found beauty and enjoyment everywhere she went.
They had been together for a little over a year now. Boomhauer wondered how long their current housing situation was going to last. They spent an equal amount of time at each other's houses, and never spent a night alone. He was beginning to think more about living together, and simplifying the two household ordeal. It was a conversation he was planning on bringing up soon.
Leah was also thinking similarly. She really loved her house and all the improvements, both cosmetic and fundamental, that she had been doing to it. She loved having a space of her own, a testament to her own independence and freedom. But most of all, she loved her garden, a true labor of her love and spirit.
However, she would also have liked to live in the same house as Boomhauer, and live like a serious couple and not just two people simply dating. But the way things were now worked well for the two of them.
One morning, after a satisfying morning run around Arlen, Leah and Mia went to their new favorite smoothie shop located uptown. Leah always ordered the grapefruit and flaxseed smoothie, while Mia was partial to the mango and pineapple.
They sat beside the big front window where the sunlight warmly streamed in. Sipping contentedly on their drinks, they watched as the people walked by outside.
"So, what are your plans for fall?" Mia asked.
"Well, Jeffrey's birthday is coming up, and I think we're going to travel somewhere fun to celebrate. And once it starts getting a little colder I have some indoor projects planned. I've been thinking about painting my kitchen cupboards." Leah took a thoughtful sip. "How about you?"
"I'm going to meet Bill's cousin, Gilbert, soon. And my cousin has been wanting me to go rock climbing with him."
"Ooh, rock climbing sounds fun!"
"You should come, too!"
"I think I might," Leah smiled.
There was a strange feeling at the back of her mind, or at the base of her spiritual energy. She had been feeling… off lately, but couldn't pinpoint what exactly it was. She felt healthy, work was going smoothly, she and Boomhauer were as happy as always, so what was it?
A chakra cleanse was in order. Perhaps she was blocked somewhere.
She and Mia later parted ways, as Mia needed to go home and get her weekly housework done. Leah went back to her own house to work in her garden for a while, hoping it would be meditative enough to settle her nerves.
Leah kneeled in front of one of her rose bushes and carefully worked on deadheading and grooming. The blooming cycle was waning, therefore she didn't have as much to do as she would in the springtime.
Boomhauer appeared from the alley, happy to see her as he always was.
"Hey," he smiled. "Have a good day with Mia?"
"Oh yes, after our run we went to our smoothie shop. And now I think we're going rock climbing soon."
She stood and brushed the dirt from her knees, and Boomhauer kissed her hello.
"I have an idea for where we should go for my birthday," he grinned, looking very excited.
"Where?"
"I was thinking… Vegas?"
He looked thrilled, like he was clearly looking forward to it, and like he was clearly hoping she matched his enthusiasm. The more she looked at him, at the striking angles of his handsome face, and the more she felt his zealous energy, the more the reality of her strange feeling began sinking in.
He saw the flash of realization cross her face, and he became concerned. "What's wrong? You don't want to go?"
"No, I do," she said quickly, "Sorry, I'm just feeling a little, um, tired."
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." She smiled, hoping to look convincing. "Vegas is a great idea. I've never gone before. Can we see a show?"
"We can do whatever you want," he assured her happily.
"But it's your birthday!"
"What I want is what you want," he smiled.
Leah wondered just how much he would mean that…
… because she had just suddenly realized that she was pregnant.
The blue lines on the pregnancy tests were unmistakable. She tried three of them, she had even grabbed the more expensive ones, and they all read the same way.
She sat numbly on the edge of her bed. She couldn't put together enough thought to plan her next move.
The realization that she was going to have to tell him grew, spreading from the depths of her subconscious and into her chest. She knew he wasn't going to be happy. She couldn't blame him. He never wanted a child; he had made that very clear.
She looked out the window to the alley, which was empty under a gray sky. It was breezy yet warm out, surely bringing in rain.
He must be home if he wasn't out with the guys. She had to go over there and break the news. The very thought sent her nerves pattering frantically across her body. But she had to assure herself it wasn't going to be that bad. He might not be happy, but surely he wouldn't be angry. They would figure it out together, and he would still love her, he would always love her.
Right?
She hurried down the sidewalk, past Bill's house and over to Boomhauer's. The sky was even darker now, the wind stronger. She could feel the tension of the impending storm in the air.
She felt ill as she came to the door, but tried to breathe through it. It was going to be all right.
"Hey," Boomhauer greeted, grinning widely. "Come in, I've been looking up hotels we can stay at when we go to Vegas."
She gave a small smile and shuffled into his house. Stiffly she sat on the edge of the couch, her hands clutched into fists on her lap.
Boomhauer hadn't noticed her tension, instead he rambled on about the plans he had for their upcoming trip. He seemed so happy, smiling with gleaming eyes. Leah couldn't seem to find a good opportunity to tell him how badly things would be messed up for them.
Eventually he realized she wasn't sharing his excitement like she usually did. She was acting off, even nervous. It made him nervous, too.
He sat beside her and put a comforting hand on her back.
"What's wrong?"
She couldn't seem to say it. The words wouldn't form into anything real.
"Leah?"
"I'm pregnant."
The words seemed to loudly echo in the ensuing silence.
After a moment he asked, "Are you serious?"
She nodded.
After another moment he withdrew his hand. She suddenly felt cold.
"How?"
His tone was unreadable. Not the best sign.
"I'm not sure. I think some of the things I've been eating lately interacted with my birth control. The stuff in the smoothies I've been getting all the time."
"And you didn't know that would happen?" he snapped, "You didn't bother to check first?"
Harsh, but fair.
"I'm sorry."
He stood up and began pacing restlessly, like a caged jaguar. Leah waited nervously for him to say something else.
"I told you I didn't want kids."
"It was an accident."
"But it was your responsibility-"
"I know-"
"Alright then, so what are you going to do about it?"
She blinked. "What?"
"I don't want it."
Abruptly she stood, her shame flaring into anger.
"Don't you dare tell me to get an-"
"I'm not telling you anything." He stopped in front of her, looking flatly down into her hardened eyes.
She didn't recognize him. This wasn't the Jeffrey she knew, the kind and gentle person she fell in love with. This person was cruel and unfeeling.
"I'm sorry I messed up, okay? But it's happening whether you like it or not."
"I told you, I don't want it. I never wanted a kid. I was always very clear on that."
"So, what? You're done with me now?"
Boomhauer said nothing.
Leah wiped a tear away and rushed to leave. The door slammed behind her right as a clap of thunder rumbled overhead.
He hardly slept at all. Any sleep he did fall into was fitful and troubled.
He hadn't texted or called her, and she didn't text or call him. He knew he was being hard on her. He knew it was an accident. But, fuck, now his life was ruined. He never wanted this.
When he shuffled out to the alley, he resolved to not tell anybody Leah was pregnant. They would all give him a hard time about it. Dale would make fun of him, Hank would scold him for upsetting Leah, and Bill, well, who the hell knows what Bill would do these days. He was too wrapped up in his girlfriend to really mind what was going on with anyone else.
Boomhauer grabbed a beer and settled in beside his friends. He saw that Leah's car was gone and he wondered where she was.
"Rough night?" Hank asked him.
"Hmm?"
"You're, uh, going through that beer awfully fast."
Huh… So he was. He drained the last of it and reached for another.
"Gilbert is coming over to meet Mia soon," Bill said excitedly. He and his cousin had reconnected recently, and apparently his cousin was much nicer now than he used to be.
The other three talked while Boomhauer was lost in thought. He was on top of the world barely twenty four hours ago, and now it was all a disaster. He couldn't imagine himself as a parent, and he didn't want to. And the thought that Leah, wherever she was, had a baby inside of her right now, was so strange and daunting. Why did this have to happen?
"Boomhauer," Bill said suddenly, breaking him from his mind, "Is everything okay?"
He hardly noticed finishing his second beer already. And he had a strong desire for a third.
"Where's Leah?" asked Dale.
"Don't know."
"Did you break up?"
Boomhauer wasn't sure how to answer that. Did they break up? Should they break up? He tried to imagine his life without her. It seemed like it would be a very dark place. But having a baby… no. He couldn't think of anything worse than that.
"Well," Hank began, eyeing Boomhauer bolting through his third beer, "I hope you and Leah are doing alright."
"We're fine."
Hank rubbed at the back of his neck. "Well, okay then."
He felt so resentful. Such a wonderful thing between them was ruined. They were so happy with the way things were, going wherever they pleased, traveling whenever they wanted, spending time together with just the two of them. All of that would be gone now.
His mind was a swirl of different, conflicting thoughts. Would he leave her? Would she leave him? What if she met someone else, someone who would actually be happy to raise a child?
His child…
Two thoughts kept floating above all others: the tears he drew in her beautiful eyes, and how much he loved her. How could he have done that to her?
He spiraled down into a deeper hole. He wanted to talk to her and get it figured out. It was the exact thing she was trying to do last night.
The day went by and Leah still hadn't come home. She hadn't tried to contact him, either. He decided to call her. He was feeling a bit drunk but his mind was at least clear enough to ask her when he'd see her again.
His friends were getting ready to go off and do their own things for a while. Hank again asked Boomhauer if he was okay, and if he needed help getting home.
"I'm alright. Thanks, Hank."
Hank was a good friend. Truly good. Not like him, a piece of shit.
He went home, alone, and sat on his couch to call Leah. Every passing ring of the phone made his stomach sink further and further down.
"Hi, you've reached Leah, please leave your na-"
Voicemail. He hung up.
Hopefully she was okay, wherever she was.
He slid away into a restless sleep…
