Leah was in Oklahoma, after having driven through the night, and was sitting at her father's little kitchen table. It was bright and sunny outside, the light gleamed off the white walls and shiny appliances, a direct contrast to the dreariness she felt inside herself.
But her father was positively elated, grinning from ear to ear, even singing as he cooked the two of them breakfast. He had just finished a jaunty rendition of "Oh, What a Beautiful Morning" while he flipped a stack of vegan pancakes. Coming from a bearded, robust man like her father, the effect was rather funny.
It had been years since she had seen him like this, and with an aura so clear and strong; She nearly felt like crying out of happiness
"What's got you so cheerful?" she asked him, with a smile she couldn't help.
"Can't a dad be happy to see his daughter?"
"Of course, but I know there's more to it than just me."
He set the pancakes on the table and settled in across from her. He drizzled syrup on top of his own plate of pancakes, looking thoughtful.
"There's nothing I love more in this world than you," he said, "Or Michael, or Simon, or your mom…"
Leah wasn't exactly sure what he meant. She began eating her pancakes, which were nothing short of heavenly. Her father was a fantastic cook.
"Leah, I…" he began, but trailed off. He looked down at his plate, seemingly thinking of how to phrase what he wanted to say.
"What?"
He took in a deep breath. "I met someone."
It didn't register at first, probably because she had gotten so used to how lonely and miserable he had become, him going out and meeting someone hadn't crossed into the realm of possibility.
"You- wait, really?"
"Yes… I've been reading a lot of books lately, so I've been frequenting a bookstore downtown. She- Jillian, works there. We've really gotten to talking and, well, we've gone out a few times…"
Leah sat in shock.
"So it's going well?" she managed to say.
He nodded. "Really well. I'm, well, I'm happier than I've been in years, since… you know. But I still love your mom, I'll always love her, and Jillian understands that." He rushed it out quickly, hoping for Leah to hear it all before she were to make a judgment.
He looked relieved when she broke into a grin of her own.
"That's wonderful!"
"You think so?"
"Of course! Oh, I'm so happy for you!"
He started smiling again. "I'm really glad you feel that way. I felt guilty for… moving on. But I'm not really moving on; Jillian is just a different part of my life."
"Dad, you don't have to explain yourself to me! I get it. I'm just so glad you're happy. It's okay to be happy. It's about time you were able to see that."
"Thank you, Peanut." He smiled again. "Once she and I keep dating more, I'd love for you to meet her. I really think you two would get along."
"She sounds amazing so far. Anybody who can get you to sing has got to be pretty special."
He laughed.
"So, where's Boomhauer? Couldn't make the trip?"
She felt the cloud of sorrow roll back over her temporary joy.
"Not this time."
"Ah, too bad."
They continued eating together, and the conversation turned back to other, happier things. She didn't want to think about Boomhauer anymore. She spent hours thinking about him on her drive to her father's, about how angry he was, and how cold and unforgiving… She was exhausted, mentally and emotionally. She almost forgot their fight was about the baby she was carrying, which added an entirely new layer of exhaustion and anxiety.
Leah spent some quality time with her father. He suggested they stop at some breweries, but she made up an excuse as to why she didn't feel like going this time. She said she was still feeling too tired from her drive, which was true, but the real reason was the baby.
Later that afternoon, Leah heard her phone ring and she looked at the screen. She debated sending Boomhauer straight to voicemail, but decided to let him linger.
She felt a little guilty afterwards… Maybe he was calling to apologize. But maybe he was calling to break up with her officially. She wasn't sure where they stood on that, or where she wanted them to stand. Boomhauer's reaction was so unlike him, and she still felt so hurt by it…
Leah visited Michael, Angela, and her nephews for a while before heading back to her father's. Simon was out God knows where, but she hoped to see him tomorrow at least.
It was later now, past dinner time, and the sky was fully dark. Leah and her father were watching TV together when her phone rang again.
"I'm going to take this in the other room," she told her dad, and shut herself in the guest room down the hall.
She answered the phone but said nothing.
"... Leah?"
"Hi."
"Hey. Where are you?"
"Why?"
"You've been gone all day."
"So?"
She wanted to hear him say he missed her and he wanted to see her again...
"So I wondered where you went."
"I'm in Oklahoma."
"What?"
She didn't respond.
"What are you doing there?"
"What do you think?"
"Leah, no games, please? Why did you go all the way up there?"
"I didn't want to bother you anymore."
"Leah."
"I mean it. You were so mean to me and I'm scared and alone. I had to go somewhere I'd feel safe."
"You're safe here."
"Am I? You were telling me you didn't want the baby, even insinuating I-"
"I didn't insinuate anything!"
"And you were blaming me for getting pregnant, like it was all my fault. It was an accident, okay? I feel like shit enough as it is."
"I know. It was wrong of me to blame you. I was just in shock…"
"Alright, well, again, the baby is coming. What do you want to do?"
She heard him sigh, long and drawn out.
"I don't want to be a parent."
Leah closed her eyes and two tears rolled down her cheeks.
"What do you want to do?" he asked.
"I might stay here."
"In Oklahoma?"
"Yeah."
"For how long?"
"Forever, I guess."
"Wait, you're moving back?"
"I can't stay on Rainey Street. I can't stay in Arlen."
"Leah…"
"Are we breaking up?"
A beat of silence, the air between them charged with static.
"I don't want to… "
"So then I raise the baby alone but you're still my boyfriend? Is that what you think will happen?"
He sighed again.
"No. I want to be with you, Leah, but I don't want a baby."
Leah took a moment to breathe and steady her tearfully cracking voice.
"Well, I'm having the baby. So I guess this is goodbye."
"Leah," he pleaded.
Cold and informal, she said, "Bye, Boomhauer."
The call clicked off, and Boomhauer was left to lay alone in the sharp stillness of his bedroom.
He lost her. The love of his life…
Did he have to say he wanted to have the baby and be a father to it? He didn't want to lie…
But he thought of Leah, and how much he loved her, and how much he wanted to be with her for the rest of his life, and he wondered… Would having a baby with her really be that bad?
He laid in the darkness on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, lost in tumultuous thought. He didn't know what he thought anymore. But one thing he did know was that he really made a mess of things, and really hurt Leah in the process. And now she didn't want to see him anymore…
He heard an airplane passing overhead.
He wished he was on it.
"No offense, Boomhauer, but you look like shit."
Hank and Bill nodded in agreement with Dale. They all stood out in the alley while the morning sun warmed the dewy grass.
Boomhauer knew it was true. He was wearing the same wrinkled, disheveled clothes as yesterday, his boots weren't even tied, his hair was a mess, and he had a scruffy five o'clock shadow darkening his jaw.
But he didn't care. He couldn't care about anything. Nothing except for Leah, and she had left him, and he deserved it.
"So, uh, I guess Leah called Peggy to ask her to water her plants," Hank said carefully.
Boomhauer stared glumly at the pavement.
"What happened?" Bill asked him.
Silence.
"He looks worse than he did when Marlene-"
Hank threw Dale a pointed look, stopping him in his tracks.
"What happened, Boomhauer?" Bill asked again. "We want to help you."
It was a moment of sullen quietude, save for the occasional bird chirp in the distant trees, before Boomhauer finally spoke.
"I fucked up."
"Can you fix it?"
He shrugged. He really didn't know.
"You want her back, right?"
That was the one thing he did know.
"Yes."
"Well? Go get her!"
Boomhauer looked at Bill, at his eager, hopeful face. Bill didn't understand. There was nothing left for Boomhauer to go get anymore…
"I can't."
"Have you tried?"
Boomhauer shook his head and looked down again.
"If you love her, you need to try."
"I do love her."
He loved her, everything about her, all of her…
"You know what you need to do," Hank said.
Hank was right… he did know.
He needed to see her. He needed to see her face and look into her eyes when he talked to her again.
He needed to go to Oklahoma.
Leah's father left for work, but not before thoroughly inquiring if she prefer he stayed home with her.
"No, I'll be fine. I'll just hang out for the day."
"Alright," he smiled. He hugged her and kissed the top of her head before he left.
He didn't seem to suspect there was anything going on with her, or else he didn't let on if he did. Just as well, considering Leah didn't feel like talking about it, anyway…
She was torn to shreds inside. She had to break up with who she truly believed was her soul mate, and now she was so alone, a deserted island in an ocean of sorrow.
And, on top of it all, she was going to have a baby.
It was an unnerving thought, knowing there was a life growing inside of her. It was something she never accounted for, never planned on experiencing…
She wished she had someone to talk to. She considered calling Mia, or even Peggy, but she didn't want to saddle other people with a heavy burden like this. Instead she told no one, deciding to keep it to herself. By the time she started showing, she'd probably moved back in Oklahoma, anyway…
She hated the idea of leaving Arlen, of leaving Rainey Street, but she couldn't bear to see Boomhauer ever again. It would be too painful, the constant reminder of what she had, and what could have been.
Most of the day was spent crying. A piece of her heart was gouged out, after all. She was so hurt by the way he acted and the things he said, and she was so disappointed that things had to happen the way they did. She made a mistake and now she was paying for it, and it just had to come with the worst outcome possible.
But try as she might, she couldn't keep the thoughts of Boomhauer out of her mind. He was always there, the angles of his handsome face, the softness of his smile… She ached for him, even just to see him one last time.
When her father's doorbell rang later that afternoon, she thought nothing of it. Could be one of his friends, the delivery guy, maybe a girl scout selling cookies. She looked puffy eyed and bedraggled, her braid was coming undone, but she answered the door anyway.
Her look of indifference quickly changed to that of shock and surprise.
She could hardly believe it… Boomhauer, all the way here in Oklahoma City?
He looked nervous and jittery, standing there on the porch, like he was afraid of what her reaction was going to be.
"Hey," he said cautiously. He gazed longingly upon her, having gone days without seeing her, never growing tired of how beautiful she was.
"What are you doing here?"
Her tone was that of surprise and disbelief. Boomhauer was feeling a little less wary now, as he was expecting to be met with anger.
"I had to see you."
"You drove all this way?"
He shrugged.
Leah stood frozen, still stricken with skeptical wonderment. He drove five and a half hours just to see her… that had to mean something.
"Let's sit out here," she finally said, and motioned to swing hanging from the porch ceiling.
She accidentally brushed against his arm when she crossed over the threshold and it nearly took her breath away. She really missed him, and missed being close to him, and her emotions were so close to the surface which made even the littlest things magnify.
They sat together, with a sizeable space between them.
"I can't believe you drove all this way."
"It was nothing. I'd drive a thousand miles to see you."
She felt tears beginning to brim, but choked them down with a steadying breath.
"I missed you," he said softly.
Her chest was tightening as she fought back the urge to cry again.
"I missed you, too."
She couldn't trust herself to look at him. But he looked over at her, at the softness of her beautiful face, and at the sadness tugging at the corners of her eyes. He desperately wanted to reach out to her, to touch her, to hold her, but he held himself back.
"Leah," he lamented, "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
He hesitated. He knew she wanted to hear him say it.
"For how I acted. I blew up at you when I should have been there for you. I let you walk away upset. I let you leave…"
She wiped at her eyes, still not looking at him. She had to keep it together.
"I'm sorry, too," she sniffed.
"What for? I blamed everything on you, but you didn't do anything wrong. I'm so ashamed of myself."
"I should have been more careful-"
"No, Leah, it was an accident. I was an asshole to make you think anything was your fault. Things happen. I should have remembered that."
She turned to look at him now, her sad eyes meeting his remorseful ones. She saw him start to reach over to her, to wipe her tears away, but he stopped and let his hand drop back beside him.
"I know you don't want kids. I just don't know what I can do to compromise."
He drew in a deep breath, his eyes never leaving hers.
"I want to try."
She blinked, and the wetness broke from under her lashes and spilled down her cheeks.
"You do?"
He nodded, and slid closer to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She relaxed into his touch, feeling secure at last.
"I'm not gonna lie, I'm scared. But I love you… so I'll try."
The dam had broken and she began crying. She buried her face into his chest, dampening his shirt with tears. He held her in a tight embrace, feeling himself start to cry along with her.
"I'm scared, too." Her words were muffled into his chest.
He lifted her away from him slightly so he could look into her eyes.
"I'm always going to be here. For both of you… Okay?"
She nodded and took in a breath before drying her tears.
"I'm scared, but… kind of excited, too." She said it a somewhat nervously, as she was a little afraid to admit that to him.
Boomhauer wasn't sure if he shared her feelings on that… The thought of having a baby, a real human being, and taking care of it for, well, at least eighteen years… It was hard to wrap his head around.
But, knowing he was with Leah again, back where he belonged, and they would be doing it together… well, it didn't sound too terrible.
They sat together on the porch swing, Boomhauer's arm around Leah's shoulders, and they watched as the sun began to set. They both felt at peace again, having found each other once more.
"Have you told anyone?" Leah asked.
"No. Have you?"
"Not yet. It's probably better to wait a while."
Boomhauer wondered how everyone would react to news like this. His friends would give him shit for it, of course. And, boy, his mother was going to flip…
"I've never been to Oklahoma City before," Boomhauer told her. His drive through the city wasn't half bad. It looked like a fun place to explore.
"Oh, I'll have to take you around! Maybe tomorrow? Or are you leaving tonight?"
She looked at him hopefully, wishing he would stay.
"I'm not leaving," he said with an assuring smile, "Let's spend the day together tomorrow. You can show me your old stomping grounds."
She chuckled. It felt good to laugh again, even if it was small.
"Can we still go to Vegas?" she asked.
"Of course, but, um, are you allowed to fly?"
"Well yeah, I'm pregnant, not a leper."
He chuckled now, and nudged her playfully. "You know what I mean. Is it okay for the baby?"
His concern was endearing. He really was starting to care…
"It should be fine. And I made a doctor's appointment for next week, so we can ask then, if you want to come with me…"
"Absolutely."
She smiled.
The next day she took him around to some of her favorite places, and places that had significant meaning to her. They had breakfast at her favorite diner, drove by her old high school, went to a folksy art gallery, walked through a nature center, and much more. It was a full day, and very fun. Leah was pleased to share a different part of her life with Boomhauer, and he was happy to learn a little more about her.
The sun was getting low as they were returning back to her father's house. They were going to say goodbye to him before driving through the evening back to Arlen.
They passed a cemetery of marble headstones lined across large banks of rolling grass, and shaded by thick, tall trees. Leah looked dismally out the window.
"My mother is buried there," she murmured.
"Oh?" He followed her gaze to the cemetery. "Do you want to go?"
"No," she said quickly. "I haven't gone since her funeral. I can't bring myself to see it again."
Boomhauer reached across and held the hand she was resting on her lap.
"I'm so homesick," she told him, once they were farther past the cemetery.
"For Arlen?" he asked.
"Yes."
He squeezed her hand.
"Let's go home."
