A/N I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist

Chapter Two

Ed was miserable. He was tired and hungry. He had spent the last four hours following an insane (in his opinion) girl from shop to shop, who apparently intended to look at every single frilly girly shop in the city. He had flat refused to follow her into this latest one. If she got attacked looking at underthings that wasn't his fault! She wasn't even buying anything, she just wanted to look at it all.

He had endured this the last two days, and he had decided he was complaining about it in his report. He should request hazard pay for brain damage. He also silently swore that the next time Winry drug him shopping he wasn't complaining. Winry never drug him to these kind of stores.

Ed pulled out his watch to check the time. With a sigh of relief he shoved it back into his pocket before opening the door to the shop. He wasn't going in THERE so he yelled (with his eyes closed and arm covering them) "Chen! We need to go now or we'll miss our train!"

Chen screamed in surprise inches from him. She had been reaching for the door when he pushed it open. Chen's scream made Ed scream, not expecting her to be that close. His eyes flew open in surprise, before he screamed a second time and he slammed his arm across his face now blushing face. The store owner was walking toward them with a scowl. Chen rolled her eyes with her hands on her hips.

"Why did you do that?" she demanded.

"What?" Ed said with his eyes still covered.

"Throw the door open and scream in my face!"

"Well what was I supposed to do?!"

"You almost hit me!"

"Young lady." The shop owner interrupted. "I am going to have to ask you and your friend to leave, you are disrupting other customers."

"I am NOT her friend. I'm her bodyguard." Ed said in an offended tone. The effectiveness of his glare was diminished by his closed and covered eyes. As well as his bright blush, not to mention his obvious youth, short stature, and high cracking voice.

Chen grabbed his hand and began to drag him away. "He wishes he was my friend! But we'll miss our train if we don't leave right now."

"We're going to miss it for sure if you keep going the wrong way." Ed said dryly.

….

Alphonse was waiting on the platform with their luggage and the tickets. He was nervously shifting from foot to foot while wringing his hands and looking around for his brother. He finally spotted them among the crowd and yelled for them to hurry up. Ed yelled in return for Al to get aboard and they would be right there.

Their train had just begun to move as the pair had reached it, so Ed quickly shoved Chen aboard before jumping on himself. He straightened his coat, ignoring her glare, and began to walk down the aisle toward his brother's large metal frame before he realized she wasn't following him.

"What?" he snapped at her glare.

"You pushed me onto a moving train! What if I had fallen?" Chen said angily.

"Oh get over it. I had ahold of you, you weren't going to fall. We do this all the time!" Ed said waiving his arms around.

Chen hmphed and stomped past Ed to Al. Al had been watching the entire exchange over his book but was pretending to be absorbed to avoid being drug into another argument.

"Do you really ride the train often?" Chen asked as she sat across from him.

"Yes?..." Al said reluctantly as he turned the page.

"Really. So how often does Edward push people he's supposed to be protecting onto moving trains?"

Al noticed Ed shaking his head and hands no for some reason as he replied " No! Never! Why would Brother do something that dangerous?! They could fall."

"BECAUSE someone decided to go shopping and almost made us miss the train." Ed said as he flopped onto the seat next to Al with his arms and legs crossed. He gave an impressive scowl to the princess across from him, who returned it with an equal scowl. He then turned to the window fully intending to ignore her.

"You do know that you are very bad at your job?" Chen said a few minutes later in a very snide voice.

"I am not!" Ed growled. "You are just very bad at being watched over."

….

It was several uncomfortable hours later when Al decided he'd had enough. Ed was acting like a child and refusing to talk to Chen directly. Instead he was making Al repeat anything and everything she said as if he couldn't hear her. Meanwhile, Chen was being equally annoying. She was making increasingly rude and inappropriate comments that Al was then forced to repeat (and edit) to his embarrassment. Finally, one such comment and Al had had enough. He stood, trembling with embarrassment, and walked out of the compartment without a word.

The pair watched him leave silently, before glaring at each other and screaming at the same time "Look what you've done!"

"You just had to be crude didn't you?" Ed continued. "You upset him, he's just a kid you know."

"Well you're the one dragging him into it by acting like a tiny baby." Chen replied.

" WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL HE CAN USE A TEASPON AS A BATHTUB?!"

" YOU,YOU FREAKY LITTLE MIDGET WITH A SHORT COMPLEX! TRY EATING SOMETHING HEALTHY FOR A CHANGE AND MAYBR YOU'LL ACTUALLY GROW!" Chen yelled back.

The color drained from his face as Ed stood. " F*** you. I'm getting my brother. Don't follow me." He said quietly as he walked away.

"Well. That could have gone better." Chen said as she watched him disappear.

Ed found Al just outside the door of their car. Ed leaned on the railing for a minute as he tried to decide the best place to start.

"You aren't supposed to leave her alone." Al said instead.

"I know." Ed said scratching the back of his head. "I'm sorry for dragging you into it Al."

" Can't you try to get along with her Brother? She's really very nice."

"NICE?! What about the last hour of crap? Did you forget all the stuff she was getting you to say?!" Ed said. "Not to mention what she just said to me!"

"I'm pretty sure the whole train heard you both Brother."

Ed blushed and punched his brother lightly on the chestplate. "Come on lets get back in there before she can terrorize anyone else."

The boys didn't say anything as they walked back toward their seats, silently agreeing to never mention the last few hours again. Just as they reached their seats, four men stood up and pulled guns. Both boys raised their hands with a sigh.