Hello again! I apologize for the pause in updates! Thank you for all your kind comments and support! Enjoy!
The hours had passed on sluggishly as Rey was dragged from one task to the next. Finn had followed her around the base helping her load the various cargo onto a lift, but not long after that Chewie had discovered an especially complicated leak on the belly of the Falcon that needed attention. Rey had used her power minimally, not wanting to distract anyone else from their work. She couldn't help but notice the extra looks she was getting from passing members of the Resistance fleet. She avoided the passes of doubt and confusion as best she could, but it was becoming too much for her. They must think I'm some kind of psychopath. Leia had taught her to shield herself from others' emotions well, but her distracted heart left her vulnerable. They'll never understand...
It also didn't help that the farther she got from Ben, the more resistance she felt between their bond. It felt like she was at the end of a string and each step was harder and harder as it pulled taught. Rey took a few sloppy steps towards a crate and sat with a dramatic huff. "Rey?!" Finn appeared beside her. "Are you alright?" "I'm fine." She smiled up at him quickly.
Finn leaned against the pile of discarded crates and offered her a bag of rations. "Hungry?" "Always." Rey smirked as she reached out and let the packet float towards her. Finn rolled his eyes. "Do you really think I'd be able to do that? Just like you?" Rey nodded eagerly as she popped the rations in her mouth. "Of course!"
"And you'll teach me?" Rey thought about her next answer carefully. An idea popped in her head. "Of course! ...I would love too..." "But?" Her best friend's eyebrow rose. He can see right through you, can't he? "I'm not a master." Rey shrugged. "Your power is unmatched!" Rey glanced up at the belly of the ship. "Well...not necessarily..." She met Finn's immediate scowl with a small smile.
"Oh. Oh no I think I'm more interested in your side of the Force Rey! Not the dark!" Rey put her arms up in defense as he continued. "Well...I mean yes you say he turned back but that...means...what does that mean?" Finn crossed his arms. Rey unclipped her saber from her belt and held it out to her friend without a word. Finn took it from her, turning it over in his hands. He ignited the weapon and held the brilliant gold blade at arm's length.
"Are you trying to make a point?" He smirked at her. "I know it can all seem strange at first...but the Force is so much more than a good side and a bad. Kylo Ren used his powers for darkness but those are the same powers I have...the same powers you have too. You have the heart of a Jedi...just like me...and even Ben." Finn's eyes glistened as he smiled at her. "You really think so?" Rey rubbed his shoulder. "I know it." He turned her saber off and handed it back to her.
They walked together back into the ship to check in with the others. Poe grabbed Finn and dragged him away, chattering about some meeting they had to prepare for on Naboo. BB8 scurried behind them, beeping a small greeting to Rey. The main hold of the ship was a madhouse - with so many people traveling in and out of the halls to finish organizing the rest of the cargo. Rey wandered through the gaggles of people and spotted the med droid leaving her room. The pull of the bond catches her instantly as she creeps towards the door. I'm sure I could spare a moment with him...
"Hey, Rey!" Rose catches her just before she opens her door. "I had some questions-" As Rey feigns a smile, Rose cuts herself off. "Actually...it can wait. I'll let you have a minute." Rey shakes her head. "No no, I can help-" "Go check on him. I'll distract the boys for you." Rey finds herself releasing a breath she didn't know she was holding as she smiles at her friend. "Thank you..." Rose shrugs and squeezes her shoulder. "Once we get some downtime on Naboo, you and I have a date for some serious girl talk. All these boys are wearing me down." "I would like that."
Rey slips into her room quietly. She finds Ben standing in front of her mirror, shaking a towel through his wet hair. The thought of him attempting to wet his hair in her impossibly small sink makes her giggle softly. He turns to her and pulls the towel off his head. "We keep meeting like this." He smiles at her, tossing the towel on the basin and takes a seat on the edge of her bed.
She crosses the room to sit beside him."I thought I'd check up on you. We're almost ready to depart." "You look tired..." Rey blushes as he tucks a loose hair behind her ear. Do I? "There was a lot to be done. It would've gone a lot faster if we'd had two force users to help..." Their hands slid into each others' with ease. Ben begins tracing a small pattern on her hand as he shrugs. "I wouldn't have wanted to frighten anyone...The more I think about it I'm glad I'm not cooped up in some cell..."
Rey's eyes widen in alarm. "What makes you say that?" "I don't know what I would've done without that intel...or you..." He laces their fingers together tightly. "I wouldn't have let anything happen to you, Ben. You know that." "I do..."
He stares down at their tangled fingers and chuckles. Rey can feel his mood shift from his usual brooding to that of mischief. "Though this is a lot cozier than some cell...I do miss having such spacious quarters." Rey couldn't stop herself from rolling her eyes at him. "Oh is this not to the Supreme Leader's liking?" "Apparently not."
He smirked at her. "But I can admit it how incredibly thrilling it was to see you in my room all those times." Rey scoffed at him as he released her hand and tucked his arm around her waist. "You're ridiculous." She looked up at him through her lashes, letting her hand fall against his thigh. Ben leaned into her and dropped a light kiss on her cheek. "And to think of what I would've done if we'd been in my quarters together..." Rey gasps softly as he runs his hand along her jaw, his implication flashes through her mind. It's not as clear as their memories, but somehow just as vibrant.
"Ben Solo!" She shoves him back as her cheeks burn red. Ben laughs at her and lets his head fall into her shoulder. "I'm kidding..." No, you're not. Rey ignores his half-truth and runs a hand through his wet hair as Ben rests his head on her. She fights the urge to fall back against her mattress and hold him. There's bound to be time for that later. His voice sends a shiver down her spine and she tightens their embrace. You're impossible. - No that's you.
They sit like this for a long time. Rey allows herself to relax against him, running her hand along his chest and the other in small circles on his back. She feels Ben kiss her neck slowly, before raising his head to meet her eyes. "I have somewhere important I have to visit on Naboo...will you go with me?" Rey nods without a second thought. The idea of not joining him is unbeknownst to her, but her curiosity peaks. "Where?" "It's somewhere from my family's past that my mother told me to seek out. I just what someone there I can trust..." Rey touches his cheek softly as his lip begins to quiver. She can feel his hesitation wash over her. Someone...I... Before he can finish his thought Rey pulls him forward and kisses him.
"Hey, Rey are you in- WHOA!" Rey and Ben's heads slam together in shock as Finn barges into the room. They both groan in pain as Finn sputters in confusion. "What the fu-" "Finn!" Rey rubs her forehead as Ben releases her and slides away. "You?! Him?! WHAT?!" "I..."
Finn makes several faces before finally focusing on her. "I thought Poe was joking this morning. I really did. I told him I wouldn't believe it until I saw it and now I've seen it and I'm - oh MAN I'm not going to be able to get that out of my head." He rubs his eyes. "POE!" "Finn!" The door shuts hard behind him.
Rey sighs in defeat puts her face in her hands. "He's going to hate me." She feels Ben rub her shoulder slowly. "I think that's impossible." "I could feel it. He feels betrayed." "He's just surprised...and I think he lost a bet." Rey sits up instantly. "He what?!" Ben shrugged his shoulders. "I could be wrong. Go after him."
Rey considers it and shakes her head quickly. "I should give him space..." "That's the last thing he wants you to do. Go after him." Rey gapes at Ben as she processes his unexpected wisdom. Even without their bonded feelings, she can tell he's right and he knows it. "Thank you..." Ben kisses her cheek and presses on her back to encourage her to stand.
"And you'll be alright?" "I will. I'm going to take the last infusion for my leg but it's going to put me to sleep." "I'll wake you up when we arrive on Naboo?" "I look forward to it." Now go after him. Rey heeds his advice and leaves her room quickly.
She wanders through the dispersing gaggles of people on the ship until she finds Finn hiding in the cockpit. "Finn..." He doesn't respond immediately, hitting random tabs on the Falcon's controls. "Finn please stop pretending to turn on the ship. You'll fry a fuse." Her best friend turns to her in annoyance. "I am not!" "You most certainly are! Now please talk to me. I don't like this." "This? You mean me walking in on you and...him."
Rey sighs. "It's all very new." "How new!" "Exogul." "Oh, that's' pretty new." Finn winces.
"You're angry with me." "I'm not angry with you Rey...it's just confusing. We spent so much time hating him..." Rey looks away from him and leans against the pilot's seat. Finn shakes his head as he leans towards her. "Oh so now you're saying that was wrong too?" "I didn't say that." "Your eyes are saying enough."
Rey takes a deep breath. "I hated Kylo Ren...I truly did...but it's because I saw what Ben Solo could be. I'm sure you can understand that." "I can." Rey blinks at him in surprise. "Really?" "Yeah. I can. It doesn't mean I was prepared to see you swapping spit!" He makes a disgusted sound as Rey punches his shoulder. "Are you kidding? After what you and Poe put me through?" Finn opens his mouth to protest.
"What about me?" Poe swoops into the cockpit. "What are you two slacking off for-?" He slides between them and sits in the Pilot's seat. He looks between the two of them as Finn makes a face. "Is everything alright?" Rey grimaces as Finn gets it out before she can stop him. "I walked in on Rey and Ben."
Poe throws his arms up. "YES!" "What?!" Rey's jaw drops. "Pay up!" Poe points at his partner victoriously. Finn shakes his head. "Now hold on. You said they would be-" "No no no there's no backing down from this!"
"You two had a bet?! About Ben and me?!" "Not an official bet because he thought I was being dramatic." Poe shakes his head. "I knew something was up when I saw you this morning he just didn't believe me." Finn rolls his eyes. "I'm not arguing with you about this. And I don't owe you bantha shit."
Rey shook her head in disbelief. "You're both absolutely ridiculous. Here I was thinking you'd be mad at me." "Oh, I am mad at you." Poe corrected her. "Why?" "Because you didn't tell us you and the Supreme Leader of the First Order were fu-" "POE!" Rey punched his shoulder and started to leave the cockpit in a huff.
"I'm going to help Rose." "When you see her can you tell her Finn owes her credits?" "NO!"
"Rey." Finn's voice stops her in her tracks. Rey turns to face her closest friends with a frown. "What?" Finn smiles at her. "I meant what I said last night. I'm here for you." "We both are." Poe nods at her. Rey's heart swells as she can feel their determination and reassurance through the Force. "Thank you..." She takes a breath before continuing. "Really...it means a lot...to both of us."
"Well, you can tell your boyfriend that if he hurts you...I will personally put him through hell." Poe winks at her. "If he can beat me to it." Finn grins.
Rey rolls her eyes as Chewie comes in behind her. He growls at Poe defensively. "We are not teasing her! Now are we ready to go or what?" Rey accepts Chewie's embrace as he steps past her and takes a seat in the co-pilot chair. She takes a seat herself as Finn passes her to do a final check of the cargo hold. Across the ship, she can feel Ben's force signature lulling as the infusion takes effect. The bond has loosened around her, almost like it's grown accustomed to their shared distance.
By the time Finn and Rose get back and the ship has cleared out, Rey finds herself in the Pilot's seat to diffuse the brewing argument about which compressor needed to be switched off.
"Will you two stop arguing so we can go?" Rose takes her seat. "We have to review for this meeting or we're going to look like complete idiots in front of the entire galaxy!" "Some of us don't need any help with that." Finn jokes.
Rey can't help but laugh as her trio of friends begin bickering once again. Chewie growls as her as she pulls the correct booster switches. "He's doing alright. His last infusion should help his leg fully heal." Chewie growls a little softer and turns his attention to his own controls. Rey smiles to herself. "Me too."
I'm glad he's home too.
Thank you so much for reading! Here are some random notes:
- This is the first chapter I didn't give an 'Adore You' lyric and that's not entirely on purpose. It's just a short song and I'm playing it safe when it comes to the better chapter titles! 'Circles' by Post Malone has been the second song on my writing playlist so I went with something from that instead!
- Naboo is a lot. I don't know how to describe the place and that drove me into a bit of a spiral this week. Hence the cut-off of this chapter. But I think finishing this chapter was a good stepping stone towards where I want to go. Deciding whether or not to make it the palace was kind of difficult and I just hit a lot of dead ends. This fic is almost chapter by chapter that I rework as I go (by my lone self) and that can be infuriating if you're stuck on something.
- A random side note...I cannot fathom the idea of trying to write out Chewie dialogue. I've seen some wild examples in my reading this week and I swore I would do absolutely NONE of that. I always enjoyed that aspect of his character/droids like BB8 where it's up to the actors to react to what they say. So I'm attempting something similar and that's going to be a lot of "growls". (How do you even describe Wookie noises? Chortles? That's a gross word. Let's talk about something else.)
- Ben Solo is a soft boy but he's also a thirsty idiot and no one can convince me otherwise. Rey? Have you seen her?! She's perfect! Of course he wants a piece of that. (This isn't news that's why we're all here I just wanted to yell about it.)
- I found myself overthinking quite a few things when it came to the trio's relationships. I think I dug myself a hole by reading some other fics where I got this really angry dynamic between the boys/Ben and it just completely threw off my groove. I'm trying to find that happy medium between feel-good fluff and reliable angst. And I just want to do it right for this little story.
- Part of me is going to go back and find a million things wrong with this chapter, but before I do that I should outline my next one. Or two. Or three. That's where I'm at so far. What a year right?
Thank you again for your patience and for taking the time to even read this story!
