welcome back! notes at the end of the chapter! enjoy!
Rey opens her eyes as the Falcon groans suddenly, jolting out of hyperspace and locking onto their destination. She kicks her legs off the controls with a sigh to begin the landing sequence. As her eyes focus her head throbs almost rhythmically, a vicious headache raking through her skull. The trip to Naboo had taken most of the night, with Poe taking over for Chewie about halfway through to let the Wookie rest. His age was nothing to him, but Rey had noticed how Poe took extra care to make sure he could relax. The weight of his loss was immeasurable, and Rey couldn't help but feel guilty. He had lost so much so quickly, all while fighting in the war. Darkness poked at her as her mind wandered. If you hadn't stabbed Ben maybe Leia wouldn't have given her life. As if sensing her distress, Poe poked her shoulder and checked on her. "You okay?"
Rey nodded quickly. "Just a little tired..." "You look like you're about to bring on the waterworks." Poe turned her face with his thumb. Rey cringed as a tear slipped from her cheek. "Rey." It was almost annoying how quickly the flyboy had learned to read her emotions, just from watching Finn do it. "I'm just letting my mind wander. I'm fine." Rey pouted. Poe smirked knowingly at her.
"You should know by now that you're a terrible liar." Rey started to protest but let the topic drop as the Falcon's controls began flashing at them and they grew closer to the surface of the planet.
Once they'd dropped through the clouds, Rey's jaw dropped open as she took in the sight of the planet before her. Leia had told her stories of Naboo; its vibrant cities, rolling green hills and luscious waters, but the real thing was beyond anything Rey had ever seen. I didn't know there was this much green in the whole galaxy. Her own words echoed in her mind as she smiled.
"That's never going to get old." Rey met Poe's smirk. "What do you mean?" "Chewie told me to always look at your face if we go to a new planet..." "Why is that?" Rey felt herself blushing as she flipped her own control switches. "It's just nice. I promise I'm only teasing." Poe turned his focus and flipped his own switches as they descended.
They guided the ship down to a field that stretched behind an enormous lakehouse. "Have you ever been swimming?" Poe asked as they powered down the ship. Rey nodded. "Rose and I went a few times on Ajan Kloss, but-" "All that mud! No way! As soon as we have some downtime tomorrow or the next day we are definitely going." The pilot paused briefly before turning to her. "Do you think Ben would want to come?"
Rey felt herself jump in surprise at the mention of his name. "I-I'm not sure." "Well, we'll figure something out." Poe stood up and stretched. He reached over and squeezed Rey's shoulder affectionately. "I'm going to go get 3po powered up so we can get this house open. Apparently there are some locks and access pads...things to sort out before we can unload everything. Wake everyone up for me?" Rey nodded.
Her heart swelled as she processed all that had just happened. Rey had always worried her friends would never understand her feelings for Ben - not that she fully understood them herself. Kylo Ren had done so many wrongs, some beyond any ounce of forgiveness, and yet here Poe was inviting him - and herself - to spend time with them. Somewhere in the back of her mind she'd pictured a sadder future, one where she and Ben have to hide away from the rest of the world. Rey shook her head in disbelief. There is so much to be happy about...why are you still dwelling on the past?
Rey turned herself to look out at the planet before her as the morning sun shined into the cockpit. Her stomach churned suddenly as she felt the weight of the planet's Force signature around her. It's the energy between all things, a tension, a balance that binds the universe together. Master Luke's word's echoed through her mind. She thought of Ben's reaction to the planet, feeling the worry bubble up inside her. What was this place?
Rey decided to distract herself from her anxious thoughts and start waking everyone up. She made her way through the ship, turning on lights as she went. She stopped in front of the master quarters and knocked briskly. "Finn! Finn we're here!" Once she could hear him groaning from the other side of the door, she made her way towards her own room and nearly collided with Rose.
"Rose!" "Morning!" "Is Chewie awake?" "Slowly but surely. Is Finn moving?" "I think I heard signs of life." They shared a giggle. "Well, I'll make sure of it so you can check on Ben. See you soon!" Rose stepped around her.
Reaching for the keypad, Rey jumped in surprise as her door opened on its own. She was greeted by an incredibly disheveled Ben Solo, rubbing his tired eyes with a yawn. It was arguably the cutest thing Rey had ever seen, and she lived on a ship infested with Porgs.
"Good Morning. Did you sleep well?" Without hesitating, Rey reached up to push his bedhead from his eyes. The gesture pulled a small groan from Ben's lips as he stretched, standing at his full height and nearly hitting his head in the doorway. Rey could feel his many aches through the bond as his back cracked. "You have a very small bed." "I'm a small person."
Ben ran a hand through his hair. "All the more reason to sleep in a big bed. More space..." He closes the small distance between them and kisses her forehead, making Rey incredibly aware of their difference in height. When did he get so...so...large? Was he always like this?
Ben smirks down at her. "More space for more people..." Rey gasps softly at his sudden confidence. She can feel his urge to share his thoughts with her as a blush appears on his cheeks. They gaze at each other for the longest moment, neither of them finding the words as they get lost in their own thoughts. Rey ponders what would happen if she opened her mind to him. The sound of Finn and Rose bickering down the hall snaps Rey out of her trance and she swats at his chest. Ben shrugs almost playfully as he turns to acknowledge the pair.
Finn gives them both a once over as he adjusts his wrinkled shirt. "Does anyone else feel like they got thrown off the side of a cliff? I don't feel like I slept at all." Rey and Ben both nodded aimlessly in agreement, glancing at each other in surprise. Rose looked between them all with a concerned expression. "I slept fine! What do you mean?"
Rey sensed his sudden resolve as Ben took a breath. "The Force is very volatile on a planet like this...it probably took a toll on us as we landed." Finn blinked at him in surprise. "O-oh...well that's...unique." Rey gave Ben another sideways glance as she felt his muddled emotions. She had been right, there was something strange about this planet. Chewie interrupts them with a growl from the lounge. "Poe needs help. We'd better get going." Rose and Finn lead the way as they exit the ship.
Stepping down the ramp, Rey takes Ben's hand in hers and laces their fingers together. She can feel his warring feelings as they come around the back of the ship and look up at the estate. Happiness. Anger. Pain. Grief. Rey catches the smallest glimpses of his memories, despite his attempt to hide them. - There was a house, just like this one, with his parents. There was a lake, just like the one before them. - Rey even catches a glimpse of a much younger Master Luke.
"Ben." Rey pulled him to a stop. He shook his head quickly and smiled down at her. "I have a...bit of history here...but I don't want to spoil the moment for anyone. May we talk about it later?" Rey nodded slowly as she considered his quick response. "Of course."
Ben released their hands as they walked up to the estate and found the rest of the group standing on the steps of the house. Poe was arguing with C3p0 as the droid was poking at an incredibly old datapad. Finn and Rose are leaning against the railing watching them. "What do you mean that isn't the code?!" "I am sorry General! I'm afraid the code given to you is out of date." "It can't be out of date this is the code Maz left for us! It was Leia's-"
Poe throws his arms up in frustration and turns to Rey and Ben. "Any ideas? BB8 already tried." The answer hits them both before either can speak. You don't think...? - My mother was stubborn to the end... Ben raises a hand slowly. "I think...I know the code."
Rey feels her companions' shock as Ben steps up and 3p0 moves out of the way so he can reach the datapad. He takes a deep breath and types the code in quickly, almost as if the datapad burns his fingers. The locks are released and the massive doors swing open with a groan. Chewie growls in amusement as the group stares at Ben in shock. Rey smiles as he rolls his eyes. "That's a cheap move. You knew the code too." "What?!" Poe and Finn shout in unison.
"Have you been here before?" Rose asks. 3p0 is the one to answer. "Oh how silly of me! I must have forgotten! This was a very frequent safehouse for General Organa when we visited Naboo! I've been here many times!" BB8 chirped beside him. "I did not forget!"
Rey caught Ben's eyes as the droid's meaning sunk in. Leia had been here many times, which meant Ben had too. The memories she'd seen glimpses of had happened on this planet, in this house. He gave her a small smile and gestured towards the house. "Shall we?"
Rey followed behind her friends as they stepped through the foyer. It felt even larger on the inside as the walls stretched high up into the domed ceiling. Ben leads them through the first corridor and into a large sitting room. A house droid creaked back and forth in the corner of the room, cleaning a speck of dust off one of the armchairs.
"Well, at least it's clean..." Poe rang his finger along one of the bookshelves. Ben crossed the room alone and flipped a few switches, opening up the massive windows to reveal a brilliant view of the lake. Poe whistles and puts his hands on his hips. "Not bad...got any other tricks up your sleeve Solo?"
Rey can feel Ben's embarrassment as he rolls his eyes. And you thought you had questions before. She takes an inkling of one of Ben's memories and uses it to her advantage. She nudges Poe's shoulder. "Now the real question is who's getting the biggest room?" Rey grins at Rose hoping she catches on. "Oh. I'm obviously getting the one with the biggest bathtub!" Finn shakes his head. "Not if that's the room we want! How many rooms are there anyway?" They all turn to Ben again. He shakes his head with a frown. "I don't know...five? Maybe six?" "SIX?!" The trio is suddenly racing out of the room to continue exploring the house. The droids follow after them as c3p0 sputters about figuring out where the other house droids could be and how he must get to know their programming.
That leaves Rey and Ben alone with Chewie, who is also taking in the sights of the familiar place. He growls at them both and tosses something to Ben, which he catches. "What's that?" Rey joins Ben at his side. Ben turns the key over in his hand and looks up at the Wookie. "I don't think I-" Chewie interrupts him with another growl, deciding to leave them and begin unloading the Falcon.
Rey can't help but smile as she watches Ben frown at the gift. "What is it, Ben?" "It's...the key to my mother's safe. It's here...in this house. I've never actually been in it before." Rey's curiosity peaks as she imagines all the interesting things that could be in a safe that belonged to someone like Leia. Ben smirks down at her. "I see the scavenger in you is interested?" "You can take the girl from Jakku." Rey grins at him. "Come on. Let's go pick a room." She enjoys the blush that immediately spreads over his pale cheeks.
Ben catches himself and raises an eyebrow at her. "If I remember correctly I have a room. It's at the back of the house." "Than let's go see it." Exiting the sitting room, Ben places his hand against her back and guides her down the hall. He guides her through the house with ease and Rey suddenly feels like she's stepped through it herself countless times.
Rey takes a breath as they walk up to the last door in the hall. She watches Ben reach out to open it slowly, his whole body tense beside hers. The door swings open with a groan, revealing a small bedroom covered in dust. They step into the room together and Ben reaches out with the force to open the windows slowly. A medium-sized bed sits in the corner of the room, with a pile of fine clothes folded neatly on the edge. Piles of stuffed animals, toy ships, and wooden swords littered the floor beside a short dresser. It was definitely still a child's room.
Rey stares at him as his sadness washes over her. "When was the last time you were here?" Ben sighs. "I was...10...my mother brought me here one more time before I began my training..." "Your Jedi training...?" Rey could feel her own feelings swirling in darkness as she was reminded of his fate at the hands of their former Master.
"It was a very nice visit...for the most part. I remember my father was late to dinner and-" His lip quivers as he tries to find his words. "And they pretended like nothing was wrong. We had dinner with my uncle and my mother put me to sleep...and then I heard them fighting for hours." Rey glimpsed at his memories of a dark room, the shouts of a young Han and Leia echoing in the back of her mind. Between them, she hears Luke's calm voice interjecting.
"Why were they upset?" "My father was never the biggest fan of my becoming a Jedi. I think he'd always wanted something different for me...but he was always going to listen to my mother. And I think she was just upset he'd been late to dinner." Ben chuckled as he rubbed the back of his head. Despite his toothy grin, Rey could sense his intense grief. There is so much pain...
"Ben...I'm sorry..." "There's nothing for you to be sorry for. We had no way of knowing what was to come..." Ben took her hand in his and kissed it. "Let's go find a different room. We don't have to stay here." Rey frowned at him as he guided her out and back down the hall. She berated herself for not finding the words to get him to open up to her.
They find Rose in the hall, bringing back some of her own things from the Falcon. "Oh hey! The boys are already resting, that trip really did a number on Finn." Rey begins to help take some of her belongings. "I can help unload the Falcon." "Are you sure? You look exhausted Rey."
Rey blinks in surprise as Ben agrees with her friend. "You were flying all night." "If there's work to be done, I'm fine." Rey shakes her head with a scowl. Rose matches her expression almost instantly. "You need to rest! Both of you! You've been through so much. Chewie and I can handle the unloading on our own." To prevent any arguments the fiery young woman nudges her door open with her hip and disappears inside. Annoyed by her own apparent weakness, Rey allows Ben to silently guide her down another hall and into a different room. "She's right you know."
"I think I prefer the Ben Solo that my friends didn't get along with." "Oh really?" He chuckles at her as he opens the windows and fills the room with a soft light. Rey stares at the large bed before her as the desire to lie down suddenly overwhelms her. She feels Ben step beside her as he clears his throat. "I'll let you get some rest. I'll be right next door."
"What?! No." Rey turns to him quickly and grabs at his arm. Ben stares back down at her in stunned silence. The confidant bachelor of a man she'd greeted earlier was nowhere to be found. "Stay with me." Rey watches his eyes widen as she steps closer to him and extends her hand. "Please..."
The weight of her choice of words hangs between them, the memories of their fight on the Supremacy tangling together. To her relief, Rey watches a warm smile grows on his cheeks as he takes her hand. "Alright..." Ben leans down to plant a soft kiss in her hair. "But only if you're resting. I have no plans to face the wrath of Rose- or anyone else who loves you." The idea of Ben getting a reprimand from Rose - their height difference and all - makes Rey laugh softly as she pictures it. "I probably wouldn't hear the end of it either..."
Rey allows him to guide her once again as she shuffles towards the massive bed and takes a seat along the edge. She can barely keep her eyes open as she kicks off her boots. Ben chuckles at her as she collapses dramatically against the pile of pillows with a sigh. "Here." Ben holds her up as he moves the decorative pillows and tosses them to the floor. Rey blinks up at him and smirks, grabbing at his arm before he can move too far away from her. She considers what he would do next. If you pulled him down and kissed him senseless-
"Your thoughts are loud when you're tired..." Ben climbs over her carefully to lay beside her. Rey scrunches her nose at him as he rubs his hand along her arm. Or maybe I just want you to hear them... Ben doesn't respond as he slides his arm under her and pulls her close to his chest. Despite her efforts, she can't even look up at him as he holds her close. Here he is being impossibly large again...and so warm...
Rey loses the battle to keep her eyes open and lets herself melt into his embrace as he rubs small circles on her back.
"Ben..."
"I'll be right here. I promise."
Aren't they cute? I really love that for them. Notes:
- It's a big house with a lake. It was going to be a cabin but then I decided to make it bigger and fancier. Plus who doesn't love tons of rooms and a huge kitchen for a group of friends to share. I love the idea that Leia cared about having a place for them on Naboo - and I don't see that being the palace itself so I chose this happy medium.
- Jedi Finn is something I've become extremely serious about adding. He was originally going to be off with Jannah but I think I'm just going to bring some of the other characters back instead (hello BIG HOUSE).
- I've based Ben's age on the 'Ben/Kylo' Wookiepedia page, so he's about 10 years Rey's senior. I have never considered that to be a big deal? But also there won't be anything involved in this fic that should highlight their age difference as some kind of warning/problem. *T'Challa voice* We don't do that here.
- Upon seeing the movie for the third time I noticed a few really interesting things that were definitely tough to grasp on a first watch. I've made a lot of peace with some things I hadn't before, and overall just really enjoyed the film. It's not the best star wars movie we could've gotten, but it's still a lot of fun. Also hi I would very much die for eveyr character in this story! BYE!
- chapter title based on "Always" by Panic at the Disco
Thank you for reading!
